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Mom’s Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React
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Mom’s Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

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When a group of boys at the park approached Alanya Kolberg’s young son, Carson, and demanded that he share his toys with them, she handled the situation in a way that some parents weren’t expecting. After her story went viral, parents of the Internet weighed in, and you might be surprised by their reactions.

Kolberg’s post, written on April 19th, has already been shared over 200 thousand times, and has garnered just as many likes. Hundreds of parents and others took to the comment section, igniting a tricky but thought-provoking discussion on the true meaning of the old motto “sharing is caring.” Kolberg’s method, however, seemed to unite the opinions of readers more than it divided.

Read the whole story for yourself below, and tell us your thoughts on this issue in the comments!

More info: (h/t)

After an experience at the park with her son Carson, this mom took to Facebook with a message to other parents

Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

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The brutally honest rant has now been shared over 200 thousand times, and follows like so:

Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

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Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

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Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

“You can tell them no, Carson,” Kolberg told her young son. “Just say no. You don’t have to say anything else”

Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

The mom’s actions brought forth praise from many commentators, who defended her parenting methods

Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

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Mom's Explanation Why She Teaches Son Not To Share Gets Shared 207,000+ Times, Other Parents React

Others, however, offered less supportive opinions on the matter, sparking fierce runoff debates

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What’s your take? Is sharing really caring? Tell us in the comments below!

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zori-i-iana avatar
Zori the degu
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a kid in the kindergarten I was forced to share(only my teachers made me do it, luckily) many of my toys and books. The only thank I got for this was to see my belongings ruined. By teaching Carson to say "no" to other children, this mother actually teaches her son to respect his own opinion and choices. Carson chose to share his toys with a close friend(to whom he trusts she wouldn't damage) and making your opinion matter is a very important thing in the adults' world.

captainzones avatar
The Cappy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, she's not teaching him not to share. She's teaching him that he has a right to say no if he wants to.

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blueteal2 avatar
Patrick McKenna
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

life can be complicated. I would expect if he did share with 6 different kids, there's a good chance he'd never see his toys again. I recall sharing an electronic toy when growing up, the older kid wouldn't give it back after several hours. I asked for it back and was denied. had to get big brother to get it back, of course then I was the bad guy.

alleshastapel avatar
Ditto
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My nephew has had many toys stolen because he was taught to share by my sister. Now when I'm babysitting him he doesn't have to give his things away.

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ionut-scripcaru avatar
Ionut S
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't teach your kid to share, you teach him that one of the best feelings in the world comes from sharing your stuff with others ! The source of your joy should be the joy you bring to others. But for this to happen, it must be his own decision, as there is no joy in being forced to share. I strongly agree with the mother.

lakithatolbert avatar
lakitha tolbert
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree! What you end up doing is creating exactly the opposite, the kind of greedy selfish person who doesn't want to share anything with anyone, ever. She's teaching him boundaries, and loving to share with close friends.

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doulagirl35 avatar
Jay Broderick
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, mom is right here. I remember a kid wanting to share a truck my daughter had. I said he could have it when she was finished. You can't "share" one truck. The kid wanted it. Those 6 kids _wanted_ those toys, they weren't going to share. They were going to _take_.

stellamarrs avatar
moonsong23
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true! I mean, what do you expect people to do, take a knife and cut the toys in half??? (lol)

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lynnprovost1 avatar
Lynn Provost
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a mom of five ranging in age from 26 down to 12. The mom is right here. I see the huge difference from when my 26 year old was young to now. Back then, the OTHER PARENT would come and apologize to my son for the rudeness of their child. When my 12 year was younger it was the EXACT opposite. And we wonder why kids are so disrespectful/rude/entitled now...

beatrix_muircastle avatar
Beatrix Muircastle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if it makes you feel any better my kid knows better and I would apologize if she did do something like this... in fact I did a few times when she was much younger.

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sarahrodan avatar
Sean
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That comment about "but children are different, more social" is bs learning boundaries is a CRUCIAL part of becoming a functional adult

beatrix_muircastle avatar
Beatrix Muircastle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah If I learned to say no and set boundries I'd be better off. I blame me for the record but if I did it i'd probably have less issues.

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dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Needless to say anything else. I agree with the mother. This is more than just "to share or not to share".

miklosnagy avatar
Miklós Nagy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who want you to share your properties are incidentally also the ones who want to take your properties. But it's probably just a strange coincidence...

jlk103144 avatar
John L
Community Member
6 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This is exactly why Socialism is so insidious, and always fails in the end.

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gerrymacle avatar
Gerry Mcgill-Maclellan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I absolutely love this mother's response. Which parent is going to step up and pay for the toy when it gets broken? Ya, just what I thought. Those parents would say "if he didn't want it broken, he shouldn't have brought it." Sorry folks, not everyone gets a trophy!!

beatrix_muircastle avatar
Beatrix Muircastle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah I'm still waiting for a certain parent to replace the basket on my kid's bike.

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annasheridan avatar
Anna Sheridan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with her! It's very important to learn that sometimes it's good to say no to people, otherwise you just end up burning out.

lanza130 avatar
Melody Lanzatella
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last commentor, James, got it backwards there! The people ALLOWING their children to go and DEMAND that another child share with them are the kids that will FEEL ENTITLED!!! Further, children that are compliant with their demanding counterparts are ENABLING that ENTITLEMENT way of thinking!

chloesgrammy avatar
Claudia March
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this mother was correct. Her son brought his toys to "share" with another friend...not strangers running up to him "demanding" he share. Just because they were in a public park does not make "his" toys "public".

janet-burnett88 avatar
Wyndmere
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't have to give my "stuff" to strangers simply because they ask. You don't know me. Would you hand me your car keys if I asked to drive your car? Or take jewelry off & give it to me if I asked to see it up close? Would you hand your baby to me if I walked up and asked to hold your child? -- The wise answer is "No". I am not obligated to give you what you ask for or do what you want me to do simply because you ask. If you are my friend and we've built a good, trusting relationship, my answer would most likely be "yes". Trust that is built between people requires both to put something into the relationship. The other children have not built any trust with this woman's son. He has no obligation to give strangers what they ask for. -- If I asked your child to get in my car and go for a ride with me, should he just go because I ask him to go? If your answer to this question is yes, then you are using the same logic the parents who bristled at her advice to her son. Wisdom is the key.

coti_luttrell avatar
Coti Luttrell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Considering the fact that we have raised our children to not ask for things that do not belong to them, not to invite themselves to someone's home, etc. I believe the mom is completely in the right. Those other boys should have simply asked to play with the boy and not to have their toys. Our children would get in trouble for such a thing and they know it. Demanding anything from other people is absolutely impolite. And children are never too young to be taught manners.

schin2530 avatar
Sheralyn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is "sharing" is even the right word to use in this case? Isn't this more of a case of "lending", since a single doll can't really be "shared" at the same time? Wonder if the reactions would be different if the word "sharing" had been replaced with "lending". Lending to 6 complete strangers.

kathleendemarcellus avatar
Bunnies are better!!
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Carson had every right not to share. The six boys approached him and without even asking politely tried to get his toys. if its toy that belongs to a classroom that's one thing, but these were the boys personal belongings! people like the six who came up to him grow up to be even worse, so Carson's mom did the world a favor by telling them they couldn't use her son as a toy machine. shame on the other parents for letting their sons do that!

travisdaniels avatar
Travis Daniels
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of parents these days dont know how to parent. I dont see anything wrong with saying no.

heburgess avatar
Helen Burgess
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i'm definitely with her. i always thought about it in terms of my purse, though, not a sandwich: i'm not expected to lend it to the other mums at the park, and i wouldn't ask to use theirs, so why would i demand that my kid share her toy? it should be up to the kid.

tammymoran avatar
Tammy-Marie Moran
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Completely agree with what this mum has done. In nursery my child was taught to play with communal toys that belonged to nursery as long as he wanted, but when he lost interest or stopped playing with it he put it back so another child could play. At home if there are children significantly younger than him I tell him to be kind to little ones as they don't know about sharing properly yet and he will gladly hand over toys to them. I brought him up to share but also know that he can say no too (eg when a child he knows will break his things as we've experienced and the parents don't even care) we don't share because we value our things and others should too. He's growing up to be a kind and considerate child who will gladly share (just the other day he got less at the shop because his friend didn't have enough money for what she wanted) but he knows he can say no too and not be berated or made to feel guilty about it

hawk avatar
Hawk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is 100% right. If they are HIS toys then HE shouldn't have to share them with strangers. Also the parents that glared at her would probly do the same thing if it was THEIR kid. So why are they like this to HER kid??

hawk avatar
Hawk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol people need to start thinking not only about themselves and their kids, and they need to start thinking about everybody and everything

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tom_stark avatar
Tom Stark
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last negative comment kisted above is so ridiculous it deserves the "jumped to conclusuons" award. Nothing in the original post by the parent coukd possibly lead one to believe that the child wss being taught to want what others had. Only to maintain control of what was his own already. Big difference. This woman has done her son a great ser ice by teaching him what is right, not what is PC.

jlhall13 avatar
porcupine
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't have kids so I've never actually considered this, but damn is she right! That broke my heart when she said he was clutching them to his chest. You go, supermom!

ncfugate avatar
Nancy Fugate
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman has common sense ... a rare commodity these days. This situation reminds me of birthday parties and all the other kids get to open the gifts of the birthday child ... not cool.

sarahwhite avatar
Sarah White
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really like this. It's true with anything in life. Share things with the people you feel comfortable sharing things with. Bonds get built over time, sure it's good to have a lot of friends but you can't rush it. Be nice, polite but until you really trust them and they really trust you, you aren't really entitled to hand anything over. As a matter of fact, you aren't ever entitled to that. I have some friends who I am close with and still wouldn't share things with. These are personal belongings and you don't have to share them. It's different with other objects though. Obviously public property and things you don't own have to be shared but personal belongings really don't.

5mudskippers avatar
Laurie Rodriguez
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are longer term repercussions to this, well beyond the toy stage of life. Children should not expect to be able to demand what they want from other children and kids should learn that they have the right to say "no". This may sound like a reach here, but doesn't that sound like what we say to adults about the rape culture? Women can and should say "no" and men can't expect to have sex with her just because they demand it. What are we teaching our kids when they think they have to give up things that are important to them just because someone asks for it? We can teach kindness and decency and also teach our kids to stand up for themselves, to advocate for themselves. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

gracebarclay avatar
Grace Barclay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with Carson's mother. She is teaching him to stand up to bullies. That is exactly what the 6 children did. They started to bully him for his toys. Carson, learn to say no to situations and people that you are uncomfortable. As for the negative reaction, I believe the lesson has gone straight over their heads.

hoffmanians avatar
Racheil Hoffman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That last negative comment is backwards... Saying that you're teaching your kid to be entitled... When in fact the kids demanding he share are the entitled ones and giving in would be teaching them that it is OK. I commend this mom and think it is exactly right. I wouldn't force my kid to share with a stranger. I do ask that they take turns when friends come over to play with them but that is a different story, they are there to play with them specifically.

jfhepler avatar
Jessica Hepler
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

kids expecting his stuff and bitching to his mom because a stranger didn't give up his property mind blowing idiocy

jfhepler avatar
Jessica Hepler
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grown world version thug who thinks what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine and I didn't steel your purse you are a jerk for being mad

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babygirl6152 avatar
Mary Philippus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I taught my preschoolers to say "I'll share it if/ or when I'm finished" and I would teach the other to ask? "Could I see that when you're done playing with it?" These were community toys

dmriggs9703 avatar
Dawn Riggs
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree with this person. He was planning on sharing but with someone he knew not a bunch of strangers. With that said the response by someone who said a sandwich is a different situation ok then how would you like it if I a total stranger came up to you and said I want to use your phone. Share it with me. Are you going to share your phone - maybe if an emergency but just because I don't think so. I am sick and tired of a lot of people thinking what's mine is theirs. No I worked hard for my stuff and I am not sharing with someone I don't know. Sorry.

adoracat avatar
adoracat
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a really good way to put it. And even if it's an emergency, I'm calling or texting FOR that person, I'm not giving them my iPhone.

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florapolvado avatar
Flora Polvado
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best word to teach a child,"no." I didn't learn this one til in my thirties. When I finally did learn it-ooooooh my.

meowoui avatar
Meowoui
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The ones who don't agree with her need to rethink things. No, we do not have to share. What makes you think everyone has to share?

sophia2206 avatar
Deanna Long
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember being told I had to share with strangers and they destroyed my things. Mom is right.

andreajones avatar
Andrea Jones
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't take candy from strangers, kids! But DO share your candy WITH strangers! Kids are taught weird lessons, but rarely are they taught what Carson learned that day from his mom: discretion.

aedean69 avatar
Alicia Spraggins
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe she is right. Taught my sons the same thing! Oh, and neither of them feels entitled!! Both turned out to be strong independent men!

msoree avatar
Mieke Sorée
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the hell? Of course this mom is right! Being taught to help yourself to anything that doesn't belong to you for the simple reason that 'people have to share' is the first step to criminal activities or even sexual herrassment. Parents sometimes forget that teaching your children is laying a foundation for something bigger. Might seem a bit dramatic but just think about it for a minute...

forpatches avatar
Cheryl Fontaine
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sharing at home with friends yes; sharing in a park with strangers no.

hyveeman65 avatar
Tracy Bussell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree ...you have taught your child that sharing is not mandatory all the time. The boys on the playground seem to be the ones with entitlement issues. I wish more people would teach their children this way. Maybe the world would be a better place.

catherineste avatar
Catherine Ste
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aren't we told that it's a right as a woman to say 'no' and have that respected?! This lady is teaching that very principle and rightly so!

mtrow123 avatar
Maureen Rowlands
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in what way is she teaching her child that he is entitled to other peoples things? She is teaching him that if he choses not to share his possessions with complete strangers then he doesn't have to feel obliged to. Perhaps when he gets to know them he will let them have a turn with the toys but that is up to him. I have 5 children (all grown now) and I have taught them that you need to take turns to share things but not that someone who is playing with something is just going to give it up to you before they have finished with it. The 'taking turns' method worked well for us and I do not have children who feel entitled to anything they have not worked for.

flutterby9322 avatar
Vanessa Webb
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was finishing the first paragraph and thinking what the mom went on to say. Rude kids. I get embarrassed when my grandson asks for something that isn't his. We're working on that but he's little.

incognitushumanum avatar
Jeanne Deaux
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, be patient, one day he'll get it. Maybe he is just a little too young, he still needs to learn. Don't worry too much about it.

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online_stuff_thecrad avatar
Cathy Washington
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I reckon the parents objecting also think they're entitled to the use of total strangers' cars just because they want to use it.

joelei avatar
Joe Dad
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the mother in this case. You do not have to share with total strangers. These strangers need to earn the boy's trust first.

bangedbyclifford avatar
Angelina Bissinger
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's right. What if he would give one of his toys to a stranger and they destroy it? Who gives her the money? nobody the only thing they will do is say something stupid like "ohh I'm sorry but you know how childrens are."

mastermarkus avatar
Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They were just strangers? I have never had the experience in my childhood of totally random children approaching me or my brother for toys. I wouldn't trust strangers with my stuff, even then!

alleshastapel avatar
Ditto
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The very last comment is stupid, Obiously the parent will teach her child to not take either. It is not harmful, my nephew has had many toys stolen by stupid kids who wanted to 'share' yeah right. Most kids are jerks.

peerieheather avatar
I❤️My cat
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F*** anybody who thinks that it's ok to run up to a perfect stranger and say give me that toy you have to share my little sister has had something stolen from her when that happened (my dad scared the s*** out of them😂) you have the right to your own stuff

the_snowwhite avatar
Shari Moore
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good parenting win! I am really passionate about boundaries and I love how you are teaching your child them early on. Thanks for sharing your success story!!

cherrymami0206 avatar
Mary Acosta
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My children share if they want , I do ask him if you take toys to playground you could share. My two year old is not interested in sharing and don't forced her either. She does when she wants. My son is more willing to share he is bigger and they like to trade toys again only if wants. I don't expect anyone to gave up they stuff just because

nx_stay avatar
Nix Estay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really think that she made a point teaching her son to say "NO" when he doesn't want to do something, but is she going to share her story when she teaches her son to give something to help others? So, set boundaries and say no should be teached as much to share and give.

stellamarrs avatar
moonsong23
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that in scenarios where you do not want to share as a child, you should not be forced to. This woman is correct to teach her child to protect his belongings. Lots of people today have problems standing up for themselves and also not giving in to everyone else's wants. No one should have to go out of their way in a situation where they are uncomfortable and overwhelmed just to "share" with someone they don't even know.

emreinar avatar
Emre
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally loved her point of view. No one has to feel guilty because of their choices. If you don't want to share then you don't share. Make those 6 kids share their toys if you can.Can you do it? I don't think so. I don't think that you'll even give it a try...

freaky_puppet avatar
Beckey Berrey
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't let my kids share any toys they bring with them with any of the other random kids at the park just to make sure the also make it home in the same condition they came in because I guarantee should a toy get broken by that random child, their parent wont be offering to be the one to pay to replace it.

pun-in-wunderland avatar
Pi...
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she did the right thing... learning when to say no is as important as being generous and kind.

lilyillyria avatar
Lily Illyria
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's so hard, as an adult, to say "no i don't want to do that", it's important, i think, to learn it as a child. As well as, of course, learning to share with people we know and live well with other. But it's essential ti learn to live well with yourself, and it's really hard (and angry looks don't make it any easier) [sorry if i made spelling mistakes, i'm french ;))

kristihkomro avatar
Kristi Haakenson-Komro
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I first saw this, I thought it was wrong, but after reading it, I changed my mind. I think it is important to teach kids to share, but at other time it is not necessary. I would not make my kids share with strangers either. I would have said the same thing she did. I think those other kids were selfish for thinking he had to let them play with his toys.

rachel_radebaugh avatar
Rachel Radebaugh
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One woman said that the comparison between a sandwich and a toy was bad. Let's pick something more close to something an adult would think think a toy is. If she was a public bathroom applying makeup and six strangers came in and asked, "oh can we all share your makeup?" I'm confident that woman would say no

debbie_smith avatar
Debbie Smith
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Mom is 100% correct! I think the parents of the 6 kids are in the wrong! Teach your children that they can't just take or demand from others! The world doesn't work that way - these parents are teaching their children to be entitled!

tish1404 avatar
Tish Christian
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would like to think my children would want to share, but only sometimes. Other times they might just want some space which is fair enough!

brokendimensions avatar
Delia Caballero
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sry hit send by accident but point being expressinf boundaries and personal space. Sharing is not a demand and receive interaction. Children can be pushy about new toys particularly others new rhinfs its important to express it correctly with comfort ans by taking turns and teaching your children boundaries and patience it also encourages the positive interaction in other children. Sharing is caring when it is done right

brokendimensions avatar
Delia Caballero
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree! And i think and this may only be my perception... She is not 'teaching her child not to share' and it doesn't really have ti do with the fact you bought the toy with hard earned money

jakers1803 avatar
Dionne Coleman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think children should be encouraged to share but not forced. They should want to. It's understanding consent too think if the broader applications. A child taught this way will probably be less likely to demand others property. Look after their own belongings better. And understand that no means no.this could even help prevent things like theft and rapes in the future.

makenziestephenson avatar
makenzie stephenson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with this mom. If you don't want to share you don't have to. It's your own belongings.

captainzones avatar
The Cappy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only sharing I remember people being strongarmed into doing when I was in school was gum or candy, and even then it was just words and I don't remember it having gone beyond just the guilt phase. "Did you bring enough for everybody?"

oliviamartinez20006 avatar
olivia martinez
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think they make kids share too much soon they become targets for bullies

zoogergirl03 avatar
James Lancy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to constantly tell my own child that if she wants to play with someone else's things, she needs to ask or put the toy/ball/what have you down. It's not polite and I don't want to see her hurt because of it. The woman is absolutely right, if she told her son to share with the other kids, he might grow up being an absolute pushover. By teaching him to say no, she's empowering him to make his own informed decisions and to stand up for himself. The other parents should teach their children not to be such entitled little brats. Last I checked, "gimme" is not an appropriate way to ask for things.

hiitsme avatar
hiitsme avatar
Hi Its Me
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh I see my comment was posted .... Fine The mother created a scene here. She should expect other kids to want to play with her son's shiny toy BEFORE she brings the kid to the playground. If she wanted to avoid this situation and the ensuing rant, she could have. But she did not because it's so much fun being a like whoire

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kim_dunlap avatar
Kim Dunlap
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is like a situation when my daughter was in elementary school. A boy 2-3 years older than her was grabbing her and kissing her against her wishes. He was demanding/being a bully/not respecting her personal space and her telling him NO. When she told me, I called the school to keep him away from her and his thinking that it is ok to demand/take affections from little girls. I was told that I was blowing it out of proportion. Where upon I said that I would NOT stand for them to program my daughter that it is fine for someone to force themselves upon her... setting her up to be a future victim of date-rape. NOT going to happen!

dodsonmichelle avatar
Michelle Dodson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think her reaction was right on. For all she knew those strangers would grab his toys and run for the hills. He was planning to share with his FRIEND, not some random kids demanding to play with his toys. I think it's a great idea to help children learn to set boundaries at an early age.

maryanne_ewing_santos avatar
Mazzy Maz
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are kids really this entitled now? I mean, if my boy tries taking someone elses' toy, I take it off him, hand it back to the child and apologise. Then I explain 'ask nicely' etc. I can't imagine having 6 random children demand toys from another and not getting a single apology or intervention or response from the parents. Where are people's manners ;(

enea avatar
Enea
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she's absolutely right, and I find the comment about kids being different than adults seriously strange. Kids are kids, sure about that - but does that mean that other norms and values apply to them but those common to our society (like the concept of property)? Isn’t the goal of education to teach our kids how to be happy, functional and valuable members of our societies? To me, teaching them how to set boundaries is an immensely important lesson. This is not about sharing, this is about something being taken away from him, and giving him reassurance that it is ok to refuse. As regards sharing: Our kindergarden teaches that kids may freely decide what to do with their belongings, including not to share. Thus, the kids will naturally start sharing once they start playing with others with their stuff, making them realise that while they don’t HAVE to, it is certainly more fun to play together with the toys (and if they prefer to play alone, they may still do so).

sassybooie avatar
Meeow
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who said I need to share with you, I think the mother got a point there. And I agree with her.

myv_dream avatar
Stephani Mills
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think some people not all take wht she said wrong. It's not that is teaching her kid to never share but like most of these comment stated she is just teaching a kid to know when to say no. It's that not a bad thing. I think the title is a bit misleading "mom post teaching son not share" that's not what she was teaching her kid at all I didn't see it like that. I am so proud of this mother tho, she is doing good.

schin2530 avatar
Sheralyn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm honestly quite conflicted. I can see both sides of the story. If you would like to teach your child the value in sharing good stuff, you should encourage your child to share. On the other hand, making him share his toys with 6 random strangers is really just a bit much - how do you make sure the kids (or their parents more likely) will be accountable for any damage?

schin2530 avatar
Sheralyn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I answered my own question: it's good to encourage him to share with his own friends, but not with total strangers. In this case, those little kids are being self-entitled, not him. Lol.

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briannasimmons513 avatar
Breezy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally and completely agree with her. And I thought the criticisms shown here were very laughable.

italiancoco avatar
DeboraSteven Kirkilis
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This mother raises a valid point in that it was the boys PERSONAL toys and therefore it is his PERSONAL choice if he wants to share them. If it was in a public setting and the toys were for public use than as in any public forum or social code of conduct he/ they/ us would be required to share. So therefore this mother is NOT , teaching her son not to share rather she is teaching him that it is his choice because it's his belongings' and not for the public.

abbiegail070563 avatar
Gail Portlock
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I taught my children to share even personal property with strangers. What ever my kids had and someone wanted to play with it I used to tell them it was rude not to share. The amount of stuff that got broken or taken by other's was crazy. I didn't have much money so was always hard to buy replacements. Now I have grandchildren and when we are out and they take toys with them, anyone who comes up to ask to play with them I tell them sorry but no. Why should a total stranger take what I have struggled to buy. I don't mind if the child is sitting with them playing with them but for them to want to take the toys away from them.. NO!! I totally agree with this mum 100%

criminalgirl avatar
criminalgirl
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's right, you can teach sharing to a child but not with strangers or in a park with lots of kids. Put yourself in her shoes, if you are too weak to say no, then it's your problem not hers.

mdclgyselinck avatar
Michèle Gyselinck
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought her argument made sense. If I were a three-year-old and six kids I didn't know from Adam demanded I share my toys with them, I'd probably feel the same way. I've been bullied as a kid and those kids' demands smack of bullying to me. If you see a young child you don't know playing with his toys good manners would require that you ask politely if you can also play with the toys. You don't demand to. He doesn't owe you ANYTHING. TALK ABOUT ENTITLEMENT.

thraileigawa avatar
David Beck
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So I keep getting replies to my previous post here. I'd love to read them all and possibly reply, I'm sure the comments are thoughtful and witty, but BoredPanda doesn't show my own post to me. So you are speaking to nobody.

annroberts1914 avatar
Ann Roberts
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with both sides of the coin I agree that children should be taught to share with friends if they want but its ok to say no if they aren't comfortable with sharing there are times in life that you have to say no , children are smart they work these things out for yourselves given the time so I wouldn't worry let them sort it out yourselves if they can if they can't they will go to mum anyway ....

ella-gick avatar
Blue wolf
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is fair. My mom owns a daycare and if a kid brings a toy from home he/she is imidaintly overwhelmed by the others. The teachers have to say the same thing and help the kids. Good luck with those parents that don't get it.

larryadeshanejr avatar
Larry A DeShane jr
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I think she is right...I'm so sick of the patronizing "snowflake" comment...really ruined it for me as she played herself. Having a hard time now believing she handled it so perfectly.

kmg9501 avatar
Kristine Gentry
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok good point. But did she really have to "the next time your little "snow flake"? I would not call anybody's child or anyone else for that matter, a name in relation to their skin color. Racism is wrong and talking like that makes you look racist!

msangelamonroe avatar
Angela Monroe
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She has a valid point but I think she truely missed it herself. We as adults rarely remember and practice the honest, good willed and virtuous teachings we employed as kids. Soo while I teach my so to be strong I also teach compassion, or are we skipping the child in childhood now and raising a bunch of narcissistic lil adults who will grow up to be heartless ?

artcatcms avatar
artcatcms
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whoever said she and her child were playing the victim, um....NO! What she did is perfectly right and normal. She is not 'not teaching her son how to share'. She is teaching him boundaries that we should all learn to have. Six boys ganging up on him demanding him to 'share' his toys is wrong. Of course the boy felt uncomfortable. He'd brought them to share with his friend. It is rude of the 6 boys and their rude parents to think it is ok to run up and demand someone else's property! Apparently, you still can't fix stupid! Mom and her son made the right decision!

flick_candycane avatar
Rachael Horne
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This picture is very off putting. because it looks like he won't share with the girl. but what really happened if you read the article was that 5 boys demanded he share his toys with them, to which he politely said no because he had brought them to the park to share with his friend (the girl shown in the picture, i assume)

carol2mak avatar
Carol Mak
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids will learn to survive the world eventually. People share photos, blog, feelings, solutions, cooking recipe etc. with strangers all the time. You name it, Facebook, Twitter and so on.. Don't tell me that is not sharing. Learning to share the right stuff is more important.

alsions_ avatar
Alsion S.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m saddened/impressed by how bad some of the reading comprehension and understanding skills are in responses and comments here. The son had no problem sharing. The mother stated clearly that he brought his special toys to the park to share with his friend they were meeting there because he thought the friend would really like them. He had a problem handing over his special toys to 6 complete strangers that demanded them. As others said, if the sandwich comparison didn’t work for you, would you hand over your car keys, keys to your home, handbag, special clothing/jewelry you’re wearing, or your phone/laptop/tablet to a complete stranger just because they wanted it? No, you would not. Children should be taught to share when/where appropriate and comfortable but to not be a complete pushover. Responsible and wise parenting would not lead to entitlement OR “people-pleasers”.

e5th1_p avatar
Pangesti Novi
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think there's a differences between to say no and not sharing your stuff with others

johoad avatar
Miss Midnight
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was growing up, I was taught to share and saw my toys get destroyed by one of my cousins when he was brought to visit. When we visited that family, he refused to share his toys with me. Those six kids did not ask, "May I?" They demanded a handover. This mum has got it right. I'd wager if the boys had asked, "Can we play with those with you?" the response would have been different. Alanya did right.

joefla70 avatar
Joe Littman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom was right. The other kids were rude. If they came up to her son and politely asked him if they could play with him, maybe he would have been willing to share. But demanding to play with his toys? No.

christophermainwaring avatar
Chris Mainwaring
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She used the sandwich thing and that was a bad analogy but let's switch out the sandwich for maybe A book. Say if you were sat in a park under a tree reading a book and someone was like 'can I have it?' you'd be like heck no this is the same thing. Or maybe switch out the toys for a phone? Let's say you're browsing social media or playing a game on your phone and six people came over asking for a turn you wouldn't let them.

jennifer-staal avatar
Jennifer Staal
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

try taking some once mobile, ipad or tablet. Telling them you want to use it and he/she had to share it with you. You only want to see it. Try out some games.. Nothing wrong with demanding that you must have it or the other person is the wrong one who isn't willing to share..

carol-a-stephen1 avatar
Carol Stephen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't forcing a child to share just another form of bullying? It isn't much of a stretch to the way older kids start demanding another child's lunch money, or their lunch, or their bike...

devi_tola avatar
Devi Tola
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is weird ! I have never seen this in my country ! if you are not friends with someone it's not safe to share and no one will blame you ! I had no idea that there are parents in other countries that teach children to share everything with strangers !! The mystery to why foreigners are such an easy target for thieves here in the Balkans is finally solved !!

farnazkh2001 avatar
Farnaz Khoshbakht
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think teaching your kids their human rights and the "golden NO" is the most important thing. Not to force them from the beginning to do what pleases others against your own wish! I think unfortunately a lot of us grew up like that and got abused in all different ways just because didn't learn how to say "NO". I appreciate this mom and wish others be like her.

reddy4753 avatar
Srijan Gangidi
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about those beady eyed parents teach their kids what consent is!!!

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April Mancino-Rosete
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with this moms thinking. Sharing is situational while it is important to teach our children not to value possessions it is also important to allow them to be in control of their choices. My house is the house where all the neighborhood kids come to play, there are some things that my children don't share and many that they do. My son likes video games and many times a kids concerns over and wants to play a different game, I tell them that no more than I can force you to play what he wants am I going to make him change what he is doing for you....It is important to teach our children to not value possessions, to be compassionate toward others and to help others without devaluing themselves.

escarborough2 avatar
Elizabeth Scarborough
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I stand behind her and said the same things to my kids after a couple of incidents when they did share toys and the other kids broke them. Their Mother's never offered to repay or replace the toys, they were new and my boys were upset. I told them first not to bring the good or new toys to the playgroups/playgrounds. And if they simply had to bring them they were not obligated to share.

ghostzombie2015 avatar
Puddin Tane
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm in agreement with the mother. If we learn bounbaries at a young age we may be less likely to be bullied when we get older. We'll be more apt to stand up for ourselves. As a young child I was bullied by the parents which went on into school which later went on into my adult life. Had someone taken the time to teach me boundaries that may not have been the result. I say, bully for the mom! And may she teach her son more conservative life lessons and to hell with what others might say.

bevinchu avatar
Bevin Chu
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Private property is the bedrock of a civilized society. Things that belong to other people belong to other people. No one has the right to insist that they "Share, or else!". That way lies collectivist tyranny, either fascist, or Communist.

jennyjoz avatar
Jenny Jozwiak
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with mom. Perhaps the other 6 boys could have learned to respect him and his toys and asked to play with them -- not demand it. And if he says no, leave it at that.

elextech avatar
Vincent Jay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's time to teach your kid self defense ....... Bruce Lee ...... Jackie Chan ...... KAPOW!

jynxee avatar
Lisa Greene
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the mom.i felt that her sandwich analogy wasn't the best example though. Imagine if someone saw you get into your car and said "hey, nice car, can I borrow it tomorrow?" That wouldn't fly. We don't walk into our friends homes and say "wow! Love that flat screen, can I borrow it?" Just wouldn't happen. Because we are not expected to share our belongings as adults. Why make your child share their possessions with a total stranger? She made a point that he was at the park to share his toys with his friend, so clearly she's teaching him to be a generous person. I feel she is right about forcing children to share their toys with strangers, it makes it hard to learn later how to set boundaries with people. This mother is 100% right and people need to stop shaming her. It's none of their business.

jo77jeru05 avatar
Joseph Herusalem
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i agree with her. she is only teaching her child that sharing should be of free will and not to be forced. because if your teaching a child to share things even though they don't want to. your teaching them that they can take anything they want from others. what she is doing is teaching her child self respect. i believe that if our children does not know self respect. how can they respect others?

mpeterson avatar
Mitchell Peterson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i am i kid and she is right this is this the same way mum taught me and still does. She will not tell me to share with someone i don't know and especially if it is a group of people this in her own words "I am not going to make you share your toys if you do not feel comfortable" btw this does not include things that are not mine

kt3274 avatar
Starry Night Lover
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree. If the boy wanted to share his toys than he would've. This is different though because these were complete strangers who he didn't know. It's his choice not the other kids.

knsmith11015 avatar
Katie Smith
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yupp. Sharing is why I alway let my friends borrow my stuff and never got it back.

tropmm avatar
Margaret Port
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he had shared, the toys would have been broken or lost. Children who learn boundaries, and don't run over and demand other people's possessions, grow up to be useful adults who support themselves and look after themselves and their possessions. It is a case of easy come, easy go. Today it is his toys, tomorrow it is his money, his house, his life. Bring your own toys, boys!

crowens55 avatar
Carol Owens
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people who got upset because of this Mom's teaching of her son are ridiculous. Does this mean that children should let anyone have any toy or other possession they ask for in the name of sharing? If they knew the other children, that's a different matter. Would you allow a complete stranger to use your car because we're supposed to share? We're allowed to teach our child in the way we think best. Each parent gets to decide what values they want to impart to their children. It's not a group decision.

wordspinner82 avatar
Becca Jones
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This parent has taught her child a valuable lesson. In a world where we are already seeing the negative effects on adult self esteem and self efficacy of "prizes for all" and "participation trophies" for children, it is even more important.

allysleap avatar
Ally Sleap
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sons share with their friends but would you feel obw/o liged to share your phone, coat or car with a random stranger?

toofknbad avatar
JJ Hopkins
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman is 100% correct, I don't see how people can even disagree with this.

iudith_gd avatar
Iudith Coman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with her, we choose the people we want to share our every-little-things, makes perfect sense. If we say ok to strangers, we are left with nothing, as not all people are kind hearted, there are the greedy ones too. Not to say the growing up part, these kind of things can affect children very much, not being able to say no when they want to, not being able to defend their wishes and properties, these kind of things makes them targets for bullying ..and we know what that means later,some kids get over it, some remain scarred for their entire lives.

wowdo avatar
propername
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a former kid I 100% approve of this. It doesn't count as sharing if your a*****e kid thinks he can get whatever he wants only because the other kid didn't say no. I was a super shy kid and I felt overwhelmed when someone tried to take my stuff so I would just let them take it and most of the time they didn't even give it back. Also kids in kindergarten sometimes are really possessive over ''shared'' toys so it was nice when I had something they couldn't take.

limbo_the_lost avatar
Malin Rosenqvist
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people who say she's wrong to teach her son to say no, clearly got no idea what they're talking about.

lynsi_m_pasutti avatar
Lynsi Pasutti
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, not sorry to take it there, but.... consent vs. rape? ... Sharing with the one you CHOOSE? How about that?

ramblin avatar
Robert Glen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when my son was growing up my wife taught him to be a leader and not a follower. she also told him that if he wanted to share that it was okay but if he did not that was fine as well. being the only child he was spoiled. without hesitation he would share his toys , he would share his lunch and even give some of his clothes away. one day my wife asked him why do you like to share so much and his answer was well mom you want me to be a leader. what kind of a leader would I be if I kept everything for myself and nothing for everyone else. my wife said yes but you give your favorite toys away or your favorite pair of jeans. he answer was well mom I was blessed for having both of you and dad as parents and i'm lucky that I have all of the nice things. I know that I could have these items back if I asked you for it. some of my friends or classmates are not so lucky so when they smile and are happy that makes me happy. now he has his own business and is responsible for several employees.

sissiegail avatar
Gail Wright
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the mom did the right thing. Her son had toys he was anxious tomshare with a frind.mhe had nomwaynof kmowing if these 6 strangers would take his toys. He must have felt threatened or he would not have clutched them so tightly to his chest. Mom, don't let the negative comments by the narrow-minded change your mind or make you doubt yourself. You did the right thing. As working and tax-paying adults we are all forced to share our income with people who refuse to work. I see a direct correlation ... people (little boys, even) feeling entitled to what others have.

shanake_ avatar
Shana
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a difference between sharing turns at the swing or something at the playground, or sharing his own toys, he doesn't have to share those with total strangers if he doesn't want to. Would the other parents pay for the toys if their child broke his toy? Doubt it... And she doesn't say he doesn't have to share at all, but that it's ok to say no if he doesn't feel comfy with it.

jenpowell1976 avatar
Jen Powell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is absolutely right. If he wanted to share he can, but he is not obligated to share anything with people he doesn't know.

lydiaross avatar
Lydia Ross
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you i would have reacted exactly the same your child isnt obliged to share with stranger's, the parents of the other children should teach them better manners

shadokat-ph avatar
shadokat
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a child there was a girl who lived down the street from me and would occasionally come to my house to play. It was just kids in a neighborhood hanging out together; I didn't have any particular affinity for her one way or the other. Every single time she came to my house she would start looking around my room and ask to "borrow" something. Translation: I want to take something of yours home and you will never see it again. I had not been taught how to deal with this type of a situation at age 4 or 5, so of course I always let her take something. I wish my parents had taught me that it was all right to say no to someone asking you for something you weren't sure if you were required to give or not. Being a generally bland and spineless child, I never said anything to anyone or asked for my stuff back. But school taught us to share and give, so that's what I did. This mother is fabulous for teaching her young son about trust and boundaries while he's small.

jillian-lloyd-31 avatar
Jillian Lloyd
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This mum is absolutely correct, and she gives very good reasons for her response. If everyone taught their children these things we would see healthier and more respectful behaviour and less bullying among kids, and they would grow up to be happier, less "entitled" adults with much better social skills. Sharing is a gift that shouldn't be demanded or taken for granted.

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Marcio Junior
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not my toys, not my sandwich, not my problem... easy. But, just in the case, she is right.

kf_samandari avatar
.gas.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Raising the next generation of angry loners. Kudos, lady!

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Capri Figueroa
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even as adults, you're looked at strangely for not wanting to share (insert object here, like gum)!!

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Ricky Couture
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really don't think it's healthy to have a hard-line stance on sharing either way. In terms of other kids feeling entitled to grab things that weren't offered to them, they should be denied, because that absence of appreciation for boundaries can have very serious consequences down the road...But to share in general is a very positive thing. When I was a kid, I wanted to share in the new things I got. Whether it was video games, or spending birthday money on cool things for other people. Conversely, I had friends that wouldn't share a thing. They'd invite me over and I'd just be sitting there, watching them play their new games while I was bored out of my mind. That kind of selfishness is good for nobody.

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Fillippa Nöel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are different ways to think of things but neither one is better. It depends on the situation

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WanMu Mystic
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you should explain that to your son too. doesnt matter he understands it or not, you still have too. he will slowly understand little by little as he growing up.

sylverknyght069 avatar
Jason Forney
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's so easy to see (by commentary) who was raised well, and further break it down to who is liberal or conservative. The world don't owe you jack, what someone else worked for and or was given, does not belong to you and you have no right to ask for it. This mommy did right by her son, that's all that matters, who are you to shame her for teaching her child that he doesn't have to give up all his worldly possessions when some bigger kid comes by and demands it (basically teaching him how to deal with bullies). Bravo mommy, keep up the good work.

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Sarah Mulford McGuire
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is awesome! And she is teaching exactly right. Those were his to chose to share. I would be worried about the kind of parents that would be upset she didn't. As an adult I share, but I don't loan stuff to strangers. I loan them to my friends.😉

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Falon Messer
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is exactly why kids shouldn't bring personal toys to a park. Leave them in the car or keep them in your bag. I highly doubt kids wanting him to share his personal toys makes them some sort of psychologically disturbed children with no hope of being functioning adults.

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Donna Parker
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children need to be taught to take turns on the swings and slides, etc., because the playground equipment belongs to everyone. But they don't have to share their personal belongings with rank strangers. Notice the 6 kids that ran up to him demanding that he share didn't come running offering to share their own toys in exchange. Look at toys that are played with by children whose families paid for the toys versus toys in a daycare center. One is well taken care of, the other often purposely damaged. And how many kids have never seen their bikes again because a child unknown to them demanded a turn and rode it straight out of the park.

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Diane Irwin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree with the Mother. Adults can be pretty judgemental but how would they react if someone came up and demanded they share their purse or coat or IPad. Snowflakes don't like to be told no and it starts at an early age. Teaching a child it's ok to say no could very well save their life someday.

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Leigh Erdman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every day I deal with adults who never learned boundaries or the ability to say no as a child. They are anxious people pleasers. Here's a thought, I will go to the park and ask to share your car. After all isn't that what some of these people want to teach this child. Sharing is caring is the biggest crock of liberal America. Oh you mean I can't share your car but this child should share his toys. This mother is teaching this child to respect his own values and set boundaries. She should not have to justify it to people who will never pay for it when their children destroy it.

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Tracie Bradley
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I happen to think she's right . He shouldn't have to share with strangers definatly not if they make him uncomfortable i think she is teaching him right, just because they want it doesn't mean he should give them away. but she needs to also teach him that if another child doen't want to share their things with him that they don't have to either

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Sherry Haught
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for her, I have the same idealism when it comes to raising my children. They will share if they are comfortable, not because others feel entitled. That is the problem with our young adults today and I am not going to contribute to that strange tactic or off beat "wisdom" again. Others would do right by following:) Blessings

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Angie Skaggs
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To the people who think she was wrong - If you were sitting in the park working on your laptop, and I came over and asked you to share, how would you respond? I'm guessing you'd tell me to take a hike and would not hand over your laptop for me to use.

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Jazmyn B (Jaz)
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just know this woman has got a lot of hate from other parents but I completely agree with her.

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Theo
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think most people are taught to share that they forget to teach people that we also have to look after ourselves and not have to do things for other people

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Nancy Knudson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the mother no child is obliged to share with total strangers and their parents didn't teach them very well to allow them to make demands like this of strangers. It reminds of panhandlers on the street we all see today who feel we all owe them.

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Jean Schweibish
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She seems like a very thoughtful mother, and I agree with every point she makes. Perhaps some people who disagreed might have missed the most important part of the story - her little guy DID bring his toys with the intention of sharing - and she helped him honor that commitment to friendship.

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Sheila Douglas
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom was right!! Ok so someone thought the sandwich wasn't a good example, how about this? You're an adult who has just bought a new car. . .3 strangers walk up to you and demand that you share it. Will you share your car with people you don't know? I don't think so and no child has to share his personal belongings with strangers!

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Beatrix Muircastle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she did right. they were rude and demanding and frankly they looked like bullies in training. I'd do the same and their parents can suck it.

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Natasha Jordan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

forcing them to share can lead to trauma as an adult... i feel compelled to give everything i have to others because how i was raised, i fear people and what they would do or say if i said no....

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Anne
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this mom did handle in a good way. And u don't even have to explain to others. (Or maybe this once. So others see your point a view. But it is clear. Just a good job.

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Catherine Thompson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Boundaries are important in all areas of living. The only problem is if you set boundaries for possessions, people will call you selfish and be mean to you. Carson's mother taught him not to be selfish, but the right kind of selfish.

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Catherine Thompson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Boundaries are important in all areas of living. The only problem is that once you set a boundary for property (say, not letting your sibling play your expensive, school-owned instrument) you

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Alex
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't realise some people thought the whole world was communist.

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iulian popa
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So raising 6 socialists to one capitalist? we are doomed 30 years from now

jsavage06 avatar
J Savage
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree to an extent only because she could've taught him a better lesson: how to share and compromise. "I am willing to share if you promise not to break them." "I am willing to share and when my friend gets here, she has to be able to play with them too." If the kids couldn't follow those conditions then say: no because xyz. That way everyone learns a lesson. Honestly though, what happened to sharing is caring? & when did we stop teaching our kids about random acts of kindness? Why not share the toys and potentially make more friends from it? What if that child doesn't have ANY toys at home & just wanted a few moments to enjoy one? What if asking to play with the toy was that child's easy way of saying "Hi. Will you play with me because I have no friends." We never know what is going on in a person's life & those random acts of caring/generosity could mean a lot to them & you not even know it.

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Brandy Clifton Tapia
Community Member
6 years ago

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I curious as to what she thinks is shareable, as an adult that is. Wait til he grows up and gets taxed. Lol

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Laury M.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, and gets to use infrastructures like roads and waste collection, and not have to pay a dime for it. You do know that's how taxes work, right? You give the government money and they organize things so you have basic services that you just take for granted?

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John L
Community Member
6 years ago

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I can understand why she would want to protect her son's valuables, but why did she not realize this would occur in a public park? Had he been allowed to only take only one piece with him, she could have controlled the situation much better.

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Laury M.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being in a public place does not equate having to share your personal belongings. It's awesome if he WANTS to share with strangers, and he should find the right balance to do so when using public or collective property, that's fantastic. But his own toys, there is no obligation to, regardless of where he is.

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Peta Hurley-Hill
Community Member
6 years ago

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I was 50/50 on this until she said "the next time your snowflake runs to you"...Anyone who uses that term (often coupled with "get over your butt hurt") is an idiot.

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Jeanie Smith
Community Member
6 years ago

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She can teach her kid whatever she wants. If she called one of my kids a snowflake, she'd be eating through a straw on account of me showing my kids how to set boundaries.

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Γιώργος Γιαννακόπουλος
Community Member
6 years ago

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Children are not adults. They do not fully grasp notions of politeness, private space or private property, especially when they are so young. The reaction of the mother was partially correct but in my opinion ended up wrong. She could have instead told the rest of the children to bring their toys along as well, creating the opportunity for her son to share what he owns in equal terms with the rest of them, thus giving him the opportunity to socialize properly. The mere fact that she is trying to excuse her behaviour by relating it to an adult's response to a similar incident is out of topic completely. If that woman was in dire need of help, needing food or clothing or something material in any case, she would be asking it from adults, strangers probably, with the justified expectation that they would help her. Nobody is going to justify snatching of course, but as adults we are required to look beyond the obvious and try a little harder as far as bringing up our children is required

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Felicity Lynch
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your wrong! He brought his toys to share with his friends. Therefore he is already sharing and socializing with others. The other kids were strangers they've never seen before and are unlikely to again.

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Debra Brown
Community Member
6 years ago

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Look up the true history of the word "snowflake" and then find another word. Otherwise, I take no issue with the mother.

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Tilda
Community Member
6 years ago

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Teach children to function as adults? Geez, just let kids be kids while they still can

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guess
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think that was what she meant necessarily. It isn't as though she's making him get a job or forcing him to stay indoors all day and read algebra books or anything. She's teaching him how to stand up for a fundamental human right-- the right to do as he wishes with himself and his property-- while he's young so that as an adult he'll be able to stand up for his autonomy and respect others' rights as well. He'll be able to enjoy his childhood more if he isn't letting other walk all over him no matter what and he'll have a stronger sense of self control and freedom as an adult.

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Stille20
Community Member
6 years ago

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I think she is being over dramatic. This is a normal teaching moment. I agree you don't have to share and you have to find a way to say no to things politely. If you are going to stand up for yourself, you need to learn to ignore "dirty looks" real or imagined.

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Katrina Gardner
Community Member
6 years ago

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I totally understand her reasonings of not forcing her child to share with strangers. HOWEVER....if you don't want issues at the public park...don't take toys..... leave them in your purse until the friend gets there....it is super frustrating to have to pry my crying child away from your very fun toys....and before anyone yells at me...I 100% teach my children that other kids don't have to share their toys.... thats the way it is....but it kind of stinks to deal with...

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Laury M.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you 100% taught your children that other kids don't have to share their toys, you wouldn't have to pry them crying from other children's "very fun toys". Clearly their sense of entitlement is stronger than your parenting, and the onus is not on other people to make up for that.

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Juan Alcorta
Community Member
6 years ago

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Some day, you´ll be in need, and people will say NO, just because the don´t want to help you.

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Sharon Rayder
Community Member
6 years ago

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This lady's position is the whole argument for why people are against welfare. Had she made her son give up his toys, that's like the government taking ur hard earned money and giving it to strangers. I fully agree with this mom.

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Blue Rectangle
Community Member
6 years ago

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Joy. Raise a kid to internalize that sharing with strangers is bad and to not feel bad about it. Great. Won't share a sandwich because it's yours? Awesome.. Why give your seat in the bus? You were there first. Why give money to a beggar? I worked hard for my money. The principles of compassion are so easily destroyed. So yes, you have to raise your kid to not be a victim, of course. But calling other kids "snowflakes" gives her away, so so fast That was pretty scummy, Blaming it on the world we live in is a cop out. We make the world we live in. But fine, it works both ways. I certainly hope she finds herself in a position where she will depend suddenly on some stranger's kindness. And that that stranger says "No, because I don't have to".

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Flora Polvado
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I Volunteer full time,I share my seat on a bus, given food to a homeless person, and when someone DEMANDS what is mine, I say no.

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Faatui Panama
Community Member
6 years ago

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Good. When he dies you can just bury all his c**p with him since that's all he'll probably have anyway.

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Frankly Ogre
Community Member
6 years ago

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I wish this mother wasn't such an anarcho-capitalist, who obviously worships at the altar of Ayn Rand. Her kid is just going to be another head we have to press up against the wall and shoot when the revolution comes. What a waste. Sharing is caring. Hoarding is suicide.

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Abhisek Chakraborty
Community Member
6 years ago

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It would be very unwise to expect children to think and function like adults. I presume he is too young to judge the difference between "greed" and "need" and i see no harm in teaching him to share everything till the time he learns to differentiate between the two.

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Ana nas Tintas
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He felt uncomfortable. If you know that your kid would react in another away with friends or just one or two strangers it's fine to say no.

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Zori the degu
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a kid in the kindergarten I was forced to share(only my teachers made me do it, luckily) many of my toys and books. The only thank I got for this was to see my belongings ruined. By teaching Carson to say "no" to other children, this mother actually teaches her son to respect his own opinion and choices. Carson chose to share his toys with a close friend(to whom he trusts she wouldn't damage) and making your opinion matter is a very important thing in the adults' world.

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The Cappy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, she's not teaching him not to share. She's teaching him that he has a right to say no if he wants to.

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Patrick McKenna
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

life can be complicated. I would expect if he did share with 6 different kids, there's a good chance he'd never see his toys again. I recall sharing an electronic toy when growing up, the older kid wouldn't give it back after several hours. I asked for it back and was denied. had to get big brother to get it back, of course then I was the bad guy.

alleshastapel avatar
Ditto
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My nephew has had many toys stolen because he was taught to share by my sister. Now when I'm babysitting him he doesn't have to give his things away.

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Ionut S
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't teach your kid to share, you teach him that one of the best feelings in the world comes from sharing your stuff with others ! The source of your joy should be the joy you bring to others. But for this to happen, it must be his own decision, as there is no joy in being forced to share. I strongly agree with the mother.

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lakitha tolbert
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree! What you end up doing is creating exactly the opposite, the kind of greedy selfish person who doesn't want to share anything with anyone, ever. She's teaching him boundaries, and loving to share with close friends.

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Jay Broderick
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, mom is right here. I remember a kid wanting to share a truck my daughter had. I said he could have it when she was finished. You can't "share" one truck. The kid wanted it. Those 6 kids _wanted_ those toys, they weren't going to share. They were going to _take_.

stellamarrs avatar
moonsong23
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true! I mean, what do you expect people to do, take a knife and cut the toys in half??? (lol)

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Lynn Provost
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a mom of five ranging in age from 26 down to 12. The mom is right here. I see the huge difference from when my 26 year old was young to now. Back then, the OTHER PARENT would come and apologize to my son for the rudeness of their child. When my 12 year was younger it was the EXACT opposite. And we wonder why kids are so disrespectful/rude/entitled now...

beatrix_muircastle avatar
Beatrix Muircastle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if it makes you feel any better my kid knows better and I would apologize if she did do something like this... in fact I did a few times when she was much younger.

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Sean
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That comment about "but children are different, more social" is bs learning boundaries is a CRUCIAL part of becoming a functional adult

beatrix_muircastle avatar
Beatrix Muircastle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah If I learned to say no and set boundries I'd be better off. I blame me for the record but if I did it i'd probably have less issues.

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Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Needless to say anything else. I agree with the mother. This is more than just "to share or not to share".

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Miklós Nagy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who want you to share your properties are incidentally also the ones who want to take your properties. But it's probably just a strange coincidence...

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John L
Community Member
6 years ago

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This is exactly why Socialism is so insidious, and always fails in the end.

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Gerry Mcgill-Maclellan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I absolutely love this mother's response. Which parent is going to step up and pay for the toy when it gets broken? Ya, just what I thought. Those parents would say "if he didn't want it broken, he shouldn't have brought it." Sorry folks, not everyone gets a trophy!!

beatrix_muircastle avatar
Beatrix Muircastle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah I'm still waiting for a certain parent to replace the basket on my kid's bike.

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Anna Sheridan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with her! It's very important to learn that sometimes it's good to say no to people, otherwise you just end up burning out.

lanza130 avatar
Melody Lanzatella
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last commentor, James, got it backwards there! The people ALLOWING their children to go and DEMAND that another child share with them are the kids that will FEEL ENTITLED!!! Further, children that are compliant with their demanding counterparts are ENABLING that ENTITLEMENT way of thinking!

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Claudia March
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this mother was correct. Her son brought his toys to "share" with another friend...not strangers running up to him "demanding" he share. Just because they were in a public park does not make "his" toys "public".

janet-burnett88 avatar
Wyndmere
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't have to give my "stuff" to strangers simply because they ask. You don't know me. Would you hand me your car keys if I asked to drive your car? Or take jewelry off & give it to me if I asked to see it up close? Would you hand your baby to me if I walked up and asked to hold your child? -- The wise answer is "No". I am not obligated to give you what you ask for or do what you want me to do simply because you ask. If you are my friend and we've built a good, trusting relationship, my answer would most likely be "yes". Trust that is built between people requires both to put something into the relationship. The other children have not built any trust with this woman's son. He has no obligation to give strangers what they ask for. -- If I asked your child to get in my car and go for a ride with me, should he just go because I ask him to go? If your answer to this question is yes, then you are using the same logic the parents who bristled at her advice to her son. Wisdom is the key.

coti_luttrell avatar
Coti Luttrell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Considering the fact that we have raised our children to not ask for things that do not belong to them, not to invite themselves to someone's home, etc. I believe the mom is completely in the right. Those other boys should have simply asked to play with the boy and not to have their toys. Our children would get in trouble for such a thing and they know it. Demanding anything from other people is absolutely impolite. And children are never too young to be taught manners.

schin2530 avatar
Sheralyn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is "sharing" is even the right word to use in this case? Isn't this more of a case of "lending", since a single doll can't really be "shared" at the same time? Wonder if the reactions would be different if the word "sharing" had been replaced with "lending". Lending to 6 complete strangers.

kathleendemarcellus avatar
Bunnies are better!!
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Carson had every right not to share. The six boys approached him and without even asking politely tried to get his toys. if its toy that belongs to a classroom that's one thing, but these were the boys personal belongings! people like the six who came up to him grow up to be even worse, so Carson's mom did the world a favor by telling them they couldn't use her son as a toy machine. shame on the other parents for letting their sons do that!

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Travis Daniels
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of parents these days dont know how to parent. I dont see anything wrong with saying no.

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Helen Burgess
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i'm definitely with her. i always thought about it in terms of my purse, though, not a sandwich: i'm not expected to lend it to the other mums at the park, and i wouldn't ask to use theirs, so why would i demand that my kid share her toy? it should be up to the kid.

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Tammy-Marie Moran
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Completely agree with what this mum has done. In nursery my child was taught to play with communal toys that belonged to nursery as long as he wanted, but when he lost interest or stopped playing with it he put it back so another child could play. At home if there are children significantly younger than him I tell him to be kind to little ones as they don't know about sharing properly yet and he will gladly hand over toys to them. I brought him up to share but also know that he can say no too (eg when a child he knows will break his things as we've experienced and the parents don't even care) we don't share because we value our things and others should too. He's growing up to be a kind and considerate child who will gladly share (just the other day he got less at the shop because his friend didn't have enough money for what she wanted) but he knows he can say no too and not be berated or made to feel guilty about it

hawk avatar
Hawk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is 100% right. If they are HIS toys then HE shouldn't have to share them with strangers. Also the parents that glared at her would probly do the same thing if it was THEIR kid. So why are they like this to HER kid??

hawk avatar
Hawk
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol people need to start thinking not only about themselves and their kids, and they need to start thinking about everybody and everything

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Tom Stark
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last negative comment kisted above is so ridiculous it deserves the "jumped to conclusuons" award. Nothing in the original post by the parent coukd possibly lead one to believe that the child wss being taught to want what others had. Only to maintain control of what was his own already. Big difference. This woman has done her son a great ser ice by teaching him what is right, not what is PC.

jlhall13 avatar
porcupine
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't have kids so I've never actually considered this, but damn is she right! That broke my heart when she said he was clutching them to his chest. You go, supermom!

ncfugate avatar
Nancy Fugate
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman has common sense ... a rare commodity these days. This situation reminds me of birthday parties and all the other kids get to open the gifts of the birthday child ... not cool.

sarahwhite avatar
Sarah White
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really like this. It's true with anything in life. Share things with the people you feel comfortable sharing things with. Bonds get built over time, sure it's good to have a lot of friends but you can't rush it. Be nice, polite but until you really trust them and they really trust you, you aren't really entitled to hand anything over. As a matter of fact, you aren't ever entitled to that. I have some friends who I am close with and still wouldn't share things with. These are personal belongings and you don't have to share them. It's different with other objects though. Obviously public property and things you don't own have to be shared but personal belongings really don't.

5mudskippers avatar
Laurie Rodriguez
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are longer term repercussions to this, well beyond the toy stage of life. Children should not expect to be able to demand what they want from other children and kids should learn that they have the right to say "no". This may sound like a reach here, but doesn't that sound like what we say to adults about the rape culture? Women can and should say "no" and men can't expect to have sex with her just because they demand it. What are we teaching our kids when they think they have to give up things that are important to them just because someone asks for it? We can teach kindness and decency and also teach our kids to stand up for themselves, to advocate for themselves. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

gracebarclay avatar
Grace Barclay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with Carson's mother. She is teaching him to stand up to bullies. That is exactly what the 6 children did. They started to bully him for his toys. Carson, learn to say no to situations and people that you are uncomfortable. As for the negative reaction, I believe the lesson has gone straight over their heads.

hoffmanians avatar
Racheil Hoffman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That last negative comment is backwards... Saying that you're teaching your kid to be entitled... When in fact the kids demanding he share are the entitled ones and giving in would be teaching them that it is OK. I commend this mom and think it is exactly right. I wouldn't force my kid to share with a stranger. I do ask that they take turns when friends come over to play with them but that is a different story, they are there to play with them specifically.

jfhepler avatar
Jessica Hepler
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

kids expecting his stuff and bitching to his mom because a stranger didn't give up his property mind blowing idiocy

jfhepler avatar
Jessica Hepler
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grown world version thug who thinks what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine and I didn't steel your purse you are a jerk for being mad

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Mary Philippus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I taught my preschoolers to say "I'll share it if/ or when I'm finished" and I would teach the other to ask? "Could I see that when you're done playing with it?" These were community toys

dmriggs9703 avatar
Dawn Riggs
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree with this person. He was planning on sharing but with someone he knew not a bunch of strangers. With that said the response by someone who said a sandwich is a different situation ok then how would you like it if I a total stranger came up to you and said I want to use your phone. Share it with me. Are you going to share your phone - maybe if an emergency but just because I don't think so. I am sick and tired of a lot of people thinking what's mine is theirs. No I worked hard for my stuff and I am not sharing with someone I don't know. Sorry.

adoracat avatar
adoracat
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a really good way to put it. And even if it's an emergency, I'm calling or texting FOR that person, I'm not giving them my iPhone.

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Flora Polvado
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best word to teach a child,"no." I didn't learn this one til in my thirties. When I finally did learn it-ooooooh my.

meowoui avatar
Meowoui
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The ones who don't agree with her need to rethink things. No, we do not have to share. What makes you think everyone has to share?

sophia2206 avatar
Deanna Long
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember being told I had to share with strangers and they destroyed my things. Mom is right.

andreajones avatar
Andrea Jones
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't take candy from strangers, kids! But DO share your candy WITH strangers! Kids are taught weird lessons, but rarely are they taught what Carson learned that day from his mom: discretion.

aedean69 avatar
Alicia Spraggins
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe she is right. Taught my sons the same thing! Oh, and neither of them feels entitled!! Both turned out to be strong independent men!

msoree avatar
Mieke Sorée
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the hell? Of course this mom is right! Being taught to help yourself to anything that doesn't belong to you for the simple reason that 'people have to share' is the first step to criminal activities or even sexual herrassment. Parents sometimes forget that teaching your children is laying a foundation for something bigger. Might seem a bit dramatic but just think about it for a minute...

forpatches avatar
Cheryl Fontaine
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sharing at home with friends yes; sharing in a park with strangers no.

hyveeman65 avatar
Tracy Bussell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree ...you have taught your child that sharing is not mandatory all the time. The boys on the playground seem to be the ones with entitlement issues. I wish more people would teach their children this way. Maybe the world would be a better place.

catherineste avatar
Catherine Ste
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aren't we told that it's a right as a woman to say 'no' and have that respected?! This lady is teaching that very principle and rightly so!

mtrow123 avatar
Maureen Rowlands
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in what way is she teaching her child that he is entitled to other peoples things? She is teaching him that if he choses not to share his possessions with complete strangers then he doesn't have to feel obliged to. Perhaps when he gets to know them he will let them have a turn with the toys but that is up to him. I have 5 children (all grown now) and I have taught them that you need to take turns to share things but not that someone who is playing with something is just going to give it up to you before they have finished with it. The 'taking turns' method worked well for us and I do not have children who feel entitled to anything they have not worked for.

flutterby9322 avatar
Vanessa Webb
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was finishing the first paragraph and thinking what the mom went on to say. Rude kids. I get embarrassed when my grandson asks for something that isn't his. We're working on that but he's little.

incognitushumanum avatar
Jeanne Deaux
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, be patient, one day he'll get it. Maybe he is just a little too young, he still needs to learn. Don't worry too much about it.

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Cathy Washington
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I reckon the parents objecting also think they're entitled to the use of total strangers' cars just because they want to use it.

joelei avatar
Joe Dad
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the mother in this case. You do not have to share with total strangers. These strangers need to earn the boy's trust first.

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Angelina Bissinger
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's right. What if he would give one of his toys to a stranger and they destroy it? Who gives her the money? nobody the only thing they will do is say something stupid like "ohh I'm sorry but you know how childrens are."

mastermarkus avatar
Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They were just strangers? I have never had the experience in my childhood of totally random children approaching me or my brother for toys. I wouldn't trust strangers with my stuff, even then!

alleshastapel avatar
Ditto
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The very last comment is stupid, Obiously the parent will teach her child to not take either. It is not harmful, my nephew has had many toys stolen by stupid kids who wanted to 'share' yeah right. Most kids are jerks.

peerieheather avatar
I❤️My cat
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F*** anybody who thinks that it's ok to run up to a perfect stranger and say give me that toy you have to share my little sister has had something stolen from her when that happened (my dad scared the s*** out of them😂) you have the right to your own stuff

the_snowwhite avatar
Shari Moore
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good parenting win! I am really passionate about boundaries and I love how you are teaching your child them early on. Thanks for sharing your success story!!

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Mary Acosta
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My children share if they want , I do ask him if you take toys to playground you could share. My two year old is not interested in sharing and don't forced her either. She does when she wants. My son is more willing to share he is bigger and they like to trade toys again only if wants. I don't expect anyone to gave up they stuff just because

nx_stay avatar
Nix Estay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really think that she made a point teaching her son to say "NO" when he doesn't want to do something, but is she going to share her story when she teaches her son to give something to help others? So, set boundaries and say no should be teached as much to share and give.

stellamarrs avatar
moonsong23
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that in scenarios where you do not want to share as a child, you should not be forced to. This woman is correct to teach her child to protect his belongings. Lots of people today have problems standing up for themselves and also not giving in to everyone else's wants. No one should have to go out of their way in a situation where they are uncomfortable and overwhelmed just to "share" with someone they don't even know.

emreinar avatar
Emre
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally loved her point of view. No one has to feel guilty because of their choices. If you don't want to share then you don't share. Make those 6 kids share their toys if you can.Can you do it? I don't think so. I don't think that you'll even give it a try...

freaky_puppet avatar
Beckey Berrey
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't let my kids share any toys they bring with them with any of the other random kids at the park just to make sure the also make it home in the same condition they came in because I guarantee should a toy get broken by that random child, their parent wont be offering to be the one to pay to replace it.

pun-in-wunderland avatar
Pi...
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she did the right thing... learning when to say no is as important as being generous and kind.

lilyillyria avatar
Lily Illyria
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's so hard, as an adult, to say "no i don't want to do that", it's important, i think, to learn it as a child. As well as, of course, learning to share with people we know and live well with other. But it's essential ti learn to live well with yourself, and it's really hard (and angry looks don't make it any easier) [sorry if i made spelling mistakes, i'm french ;))

kristihkomro avatar
Kristi Haakenson-Komro
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I first saw this, I thought it was wrong, but after reading it, I changed my mind. I think it is important to teach kids to share, but at other time it is not necessary. I would not make my kids share with strangers either. I would have said the same thing she did. I think those other kids were selfish for thinking he had to let them play with his toys.

rachel_radebaugh avatar
Rachel Radebaugh
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One woman said that the comparison between a sandwich and a toy was bad. Let's pick something more close to something an adult would think think a toy is. If she was a public bathroom applying makeup and six strangers came in and asked, "oh can we all share your makeup?" I'm confident that woman would say no

debbie_smith avatar
Debbie Smith
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Mom is 100% correct! I think the parents of the 6 kids are in the wrong! Teach your children that they can't just take or demand from others! The world doesn't work that way - these parents are teaching their children to be entitled!

tish1404 avatar
Tish Christian
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would like to think my children would want to share, but only sometimes. Other times they might just want some space which is fair enough!

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Delia Caballero
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sry hit send by accident but point being expressinf boundaries and personal space. Sharing is not a demand and receive interaction. Children can be pushy about new toys particularly others new rhinfs its important to express it correctly with comfort ans by taking turns and teaching your children boundaries and patience it also encourages the positive interaction in other children. Sharing is caring when it is done right

brokendimensions avatar
Delia Caballero
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree! And i think and this may only be my perception... She is not 'teaching her child not to share' and it doesn't really have ti do with the fact you bought the toy with hard earned money

jakers1803 avatar
Dionne Coleman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think children should be encouraged to share but not forced. They should want to. It's understanding consent too think if the broader applications. A child taught this way will probably be less likely to demand others property. Look after their own belongings better. And understand that no means no.this could even help prevent things like theft and rapes in the future.

makenziestephenson avatar
makenzie stephenson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with this mom. If you don't want to share you don't have to. It's your own belongings.

captainzones avatar
The Cappy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only sharing I remember people being strongarmed into doing when I was in school was gum or candy, and even then it was just words and I don't remember it having gone beyond just the guilt phase. "Did you bring enough for everybody?"

oliviamartinez20006 avatar
olivia martinez
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think they make kids share too much soon they become targets for bullies

zoogergirl03 avatar
James Lancy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to constantly tell my own child that if she wants to play with someone else's things, she needs to ask or put the toy/ball/what have you down. It's not polite and I don't want to see her hurt because of it. The woman is absolutely right, if she told her son to share with the other kids, he might grow up being an absolute pushover. By teaching him to say no, she's empowering him to make his own informed decisions and to stand up for himself. The other parents should teach their children not to be such entitled little brats. Last I checked, "gimme" is not an appropriate way to ask for things.

hiitsme avatar
hiitsme avatar
Hi Its Me
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh I see my comment was posted .... Fine The mother created a scene here. She should expect other kids to want to play with her son's shiny toy BEFORE she brings the kid to the playground. If she wanted to avoid this situation and the ensuing rant, she could have. But she did not because it's so much fun being a like whoire

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Kim Dunlap
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is like a situation when my daughter was in elementary school. A boy 2-3 years older than her was grabbing her and kissing her against her wishes. He was demanding/being a bully/not respecting her personal space and her telling him NO. When she told me, I called the school to keep him away from her and his thinking that it is ok to demand/take affections from little girls. I was told that I was blowing it out of proportion. Where upon I said that I would NOT stand for them to program my daughter that it is fine for someone to force themselves upon her... setting her up to be a future victim of date-rape. NOT going to happen!

dodsonmichelle avatar
Michelle Dodson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think her reaction was right on. For all she knew those strangers would grab his toys and run for the hills. He was planning to share with his FRIEND, not some random kids demanding to play with his toys. I think it's a great idea to help children learn to set boundaries at an early age.

maryanne_ewing_santos avatar
Mazzy Maz
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are kids really this entitled now? I mean, if my boy tries taking someone elses' toy, I take it off him, hand it back to the child and apologise. Then I explain 'ask nicely' etc. I can't imagine having 6 random children demand toys from another and not getting a single apology or intervention or response from the parents. Where are people's manners ;(

enea avatar
Enea
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she's absolutely right, and I find the comment about kids being different than adults seriously strange. Kids are kids, sure about that - but does that mean that other norms and values apply to them but those common to our society (like the concept of property)? Isn’t the goal of education to teach our kids how to be happy, functional and valuable members of our societies? To me, teaching them how to set boundaries is an immensely important lesson. This is not about sharing, this is about something being taken away from him, and giving him reassurance that it is ok to refuse. As regards sharing: Our kindergarden teaches that kids may freely decide what to do with their belongings, including not to share. Thus, the kids will naturally start sharing once they start playing with others with their stuff, making them realise that while they don’t HAVE to, it is certainly more fun to play together with the toys (and if they prefer to play alone, they may still do so).

sassybooie avatar
Meeow
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who said I need to share with you, I think the mother got a point there. And I agree with her.

myv_dream avatar
Stephani Mills
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think some people not all take wht she said wrong. It's not that is teaching her kid to never share but like most of these comment stated she is just teaching a kid to know when to say no. It's that not a bad thing. I think the title is a bit misleading "mom post teaching son not share" that's not what she was teaching her kid at all I didn't see it like that. I am so proud of this mother tho, she is doing good.

schin2530 avatar
Sheralyn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm honestly quite conflicted. I can see both sides of the story. If you would like to teach your child the value in sharing good stuff, you should encourage your child to share. On the other hand, making him share his toys with 6 random strangers is really just a bit much - how do you make sure the kids (or their parents more likely) will be accountable for any damage?

schin2530 avatar
Sheralyn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I answered my own question: it's good to encourage him to share with his own friends, but not with total strangers. In this case, those little kids are being self-entitled, not him. Lol.

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briannasimmons513 avatar
Breezy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally and completely agree with her. And I thought the criticisms shown here were very laughable.

italiancoco avatar
DeboraSteven Kirkilis
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This mother raises a valid point in that it was the boys PERSONAL toys and therefore it is his PERSONAL choice if he wants to share them. If it was in a public setting and the toys were for public use than as in any public forum or social code of conduct he/ they/ us would be required to share. So therefore this mother is NOT , teaching her son not to share rather she is teaching him that it is his choice because it's his belongings' and not for the public.

abbiegail070563 avatar
Gail Portlock
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I taught my children to share even personal property with strangers. What ever my kids had and someone wanted to play with it I used to tell them it was rude not to share. The amount of stuff that got broken or taken by other's was crazy. I didn't have much money so was always hard to buy replacements. Now I have grandchildren and when we are out and they take toys with them, anyone who comes up to ask to play with them I tell them sorry but no. Why should a total stranger take what I have struggled to buy. I don't mind if the child is sitting with them playing with them but for them to want to take the toys away from them.. NO!! I totally agree with this mum 100%

criminalgirl avatar
criminalgirl
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's right, you can teach sharing to a child but not with strangers or in a park with lots of kids. Put yourself in her shoes, if you are too weak to say no, then it's your problem not hers.

mdclgyselinck avatar
Michèle Gyselinck
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought her argument made sense. If I were a three-year-old and six kids I didn't know from Adam demanded I share my toys with them, I'd probably feel the same way. I've been bullied as a kid and those kids' demands smack of bullying to me. If you see a young child you don't know playing with his toys good manners would require that you ask politely if you can also play with the toys. You don't demand to. He doesn't owe you ANYTHING. TALK ABOUT ENTITLEMENT.

thraileigawa avatar
David Beck
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So I keep getting replies to my previous post here. I'd love to read them all and possibly reply, I'm sure the comments are thoughtful and witty, but BoredPanda doesn't show my own post to me. So you are speaking to nobody.

annroberts1914 avatar
Ann Roberts
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with both sides of the coin I agree that children should be taught to share with friends if they want but its ok to say no if they aren't comfortable with sharing there are times in life that you have to say no , children are smart they work these things out for yourselves given the time so I wouldn't worry let them sort it out yourselves if they can if they can't they will go to mum anyway ....

ella-gick avatar
Blue wolf
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is fair. My mom owns a daycare and if a kid brings a toy from home he/she is imidaintly overwhelmed by the others. The teachers have to say the same thing and help the kids. Good luck with those parents that don't get it.

larryadeshanejr avatar
Larry A DeShane jr
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I think she is right...I'm so sick of the patronizing "snowflake" comment...really ruined it for me as she played herself. Having a hard time now believing she handled it so perfectly.

kmg9501 avatar
Kristine Gentry
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok good point. But did she really have to "the next time your little "snow flake"? I would not call anybody's child or anyone else for that matter, a name in relation to their skin color. Racism is wrong and talking like that makes you look racist!

msangelamonroe avatar
Angela Monroe
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She has a valid point but I think she truely missed it herself. We as adults rarely remember and practice the honest, good willed and virtuous teachings we employed as kids. Soo while I teach my so to be strong I also teach compassion, or are we skipping the child in childhood now and raising a bunch of narcissistic lil adults who will grow up to be heartless ?

artcatcms avatar
artcatcms
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whoever said she and her child were playing the victim, um....NO! What she did is perfectly right and normal. She is not 'not teaching her son how to share'. She is teaching him boundaries that we should all learn to have. Six boys ganging up on him demanding him to 'share' his toys is wrong. Of course the boy felt uncomfortable. He'd brought them to share with his friend. It is rude of the 6 boys and their rude parents to think it is ok to run up and demand someone else's property! Apparently, you still can't fix stupid! Mom and her son made the right decision!

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Rachael Horne
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This picture is very off putting. because it looks like he won't share with the girl. but what really happened if you read the article was that 5 boys demanded he share his toys with them, to which he politely said no because he had brought them to the park to share with his friend (the girl shown in the picture, i assume)

carol2mak avatar
Carol Mak
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids will learn to survive the world eventually. People share photos, blog, feelings, solutions, cooking recipe etc. with strangers all the time. You name it, Facebook, Twitter and so on.. Don't tell me that is not sharing. Learning to share the right stuff is more important.

alsions_ avatar
Alsion S.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m saddened/impressed by how bad some of the reading comprehension and understanding skills are in responses and comments here. The son had no problem sharing. The mother stated clearly that he brought his special toys to the park to share with his friend they were meeting there because he thought the friend would really like them. He had a problem handing over his special toys to 6 complete strangers that demanded them. As others said, if the sandwich comparison didn’t work for you, would you hand over your car keys, keys to your home, handbag, special clothing/jewelry you’re wearing, or your phone/laptop/tablet to a complete stranger just because they wanted it? No, you would not. Children should be taught to share when/where appropriate and comfortable but to not be a complete pushover. Responsible and wise parenting would not lead to entitlement OR “people-pleasers”.

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Pangesti Novi
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think there's a differences between to say no and not sharing your stuff with others

johoad avatar
Miss Midnight
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was growing up, I was taught to share and saw my toys get destroyed by one of my cousins when he was brought to visit. When we visited that family, he refused to share his toys with me. Those six kids did not ask, "May I?" They demanded a handover. This mum has got it right. I'd wager if the boys had asked, "Can we play with those with you?" the response would have been different. Alanya did right.

joefla70 avatar
Joe Littman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom was right. The other kids were rude. If they came up to her son and politely asked him if they could play with him, maybe he would have been willing to share. But demanding to play with his toys? No.

christophermainwaring avatar
Chris Mainwaring
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She used the sandwich thing and that was a bad analogy but let's switch out the sandwich for maybe A book. Say if you were sat in a park under a tree reading a book and someone was like 'can I have it?' you'd be like heck no this is the same thing. Or maybe switch out the toys for a phone? Let's say you're browsing social media or playing a game on your phone and six people came over asking for a turn you wouldn't let them.

jennifer-staal avatar
Jennifer Staal
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

try taking some once mobile, ipad or tablet. Telling them you want to use it and he/she had to share it with you. You only want to see it. Try out some games.. Nothing wrong with demanding that you must have it or the other person is the wrong one who isn't willing to share..

carol-a-stephen1 avatar
Carol Stephen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't forcing a child to share just another form of bullying? It isn't much of a stretch to the way older kids start demanding another child's lunch money, or their lunch, or their bike...

devi_tola avatar
Devi Tola
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is weird ! I have never seen this in my country ! if you are not friends with someone it's not safe to share and no one will blame you ! I had no idea that there are parents in other countries that teach children to share everything with strangers !! The mystery to why foreigners are such an easy target for thieves here in the Balkans is finally solved !!

farnazkh2001 avatar
Farnaz Khoshbakht
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think teaching your kids their human rights and the "golden NO" is the most important thing. Not to force them from the beginning to do what pleases others against your own wish! I think unfortunately a lot of us grew up like that and got abused in all different ways just because didn't learn how to say "NO". I appreciate this mom and wish others be like her.

reddy4753 avatar
Srijan Gangidi
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about those beady eyed parents teach their kids what consent is!!!

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April Mancino-Rosete
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with this moms thinking. Sharing is situational while it is important to teach our children not to value possessions it is also important to allow them to be in control of their choices. My house is the house where all the neighborhood kids come to play, there are some things that my children don't share and many that they do. My son likes video games and many times a kids concerns over and wants to play a different game, I tell them that no more than I can force you to play what he wants am I going to make him change what he is doing for you....It is important to teach our children to not value possessions, to be compassionate toward others and to help others without devaluing themselves.

escarborough2 avatar
Elizabeth Scarborough
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I stand behind her and said the same things to my kids after a couple of incidents when they did share toys and the other kids broke them. Their Mother's never offered to repay or replace the toys, they were new and my boys were upset. I told them first not to bring the good or new toys to the playgroups/playgrounds. And if they simply had to bring them they were not obligated to share.

ghostzombie2015 avatar
Puddin Tane
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm in agreement with the mother. If we learn bounbaries at a young age we may be less likely to be bullied when we get older. We'll be more apt to stand up for ourselves. As a young child I was bullied by the parents which went on into school which later went on into my adult life. Had someone taken the time to teach me boundaries that may not have been the result. I say, bully for the mom! And may she teach her son more conservative life lessons and to hell with what others might say.

bevinchu avatar
Bevin Chu
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Private property is the bedrock of a civilized society. Things that belong to other people belong to other people. No one has the right to insist that they "Share, or else!". That way lies collectivist tyranny, either fascist, or Communist.

jennyjoz avatar
Jenny Jozwiak
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with mom. Perhaps the other 6 boys could have learned to respect him and his toys and asked to play with them -- not demand it. And if he says no, leave it at that.

elextech avatar
Vincent Jay
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's time to teach your kid self defense ....... Bruce Lee ...... Jackie Chan ...... KAPOW!

jynxee avatar
Lisa Greene
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the mom.i felt that her sandwich analogy wasn't the best example though. Imagine if someone saw you get into your car and said "hey, nice car, can I borrow it tomorrow?" That wouldn't fly. We don't walk into our friends homes and say "wow! Love that flat screen, can I borrow it?" Just wouldn't happen. Because we are not expected to share our belongings as adults. Why make your child share their possessions with a total stranger? She made a point that he was at the park to share his toys with his friend, so clearly she's teaching him to be a generous person. I feel she is right about forcing children to share their toys with strangers, it makes it hard to learn later how to set boundaries with people. This mother is 100% right and people need to stop shaming her. It's none of their business.

jo77jeru05 avatar
Joseph Herusalem
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i agree with her. she is only teaching her child that sharing should be of free will and not to be forced. because if your teaching a child to share things even though they don't want to. your teaching them that they can take anything they want from others. what she is doing is teaching her child self respect. i believe that if our children does not know self respect. how can they respect others?

mpeterson avatar
Mitchell Peterson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i am i kid and she is right this is this the same way mum taught me and still does. She will not tell me to share with someone i don't know and especially if it is a group of people this in her own words "I am not going to make you share your toys if you do not feel comfortable" btw this does not include things that are not mine

kt3274 avatar
Starry Night Lover
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree. If the boy wanted to share his toys than he would've. This is different though because these were complete strangers who he didn't know. It's his choice not the other kids.

knsmith11015 avatar
Katie Smith
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yupp. Sharing is why I alway let my friends borrow my stuff and never got it back.

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Margaret Port
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he had shared, the toys would have been broken or lost. Children who learn boundaries, and don't run over and demand other people's possessions, grow up to be useful adults who support themselves and look after themselves and their possessions. It is a case of easy come, easy go. Today it is his toys, tomorrow it is his money, his house, his life. Bring your own toys, boys!

crowens55 avatar
Carol Owens
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people who got upset because of this Mom's teaching of her son are ridiculous. Does this mean that children should let anyone have any toy or other possession they ask for in the name of sharing? If they knew the other children, that's a different matter. Would you allow a complete stranger to use your car because we're supposed to share? We're allowed to teach our child in the way we think best. Each parent gets to decide what values they want to impart to their children. It's not a group decision.

wordspinner82 avatar
Becca Jones
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This parent has taught her child a valuable lesson. In a world where we are already seeing the negative effects on adult self esteem and self efficacy of "prizes for all" and "participation trophies" for children, it is even more important.

allysleap avatar
Ally Sleap
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sons share with their friends but would you feel obw/o liged to share your phone, coat or car with a random stranger?

toofknbad avatar
JJ Hopkins
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman is 100% correct, I don't see how people can even disagree with this.

iudith_gd avatar
Iudith Coman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with her, we choose the people we want to share our every-little-things, makes perfect sense. If we say ok to strangers, we are left with nothing, as not all people are kind hearted, there are the greedy ones too. Not to say the growing up part, these kind of things can affect children very much, not being able to say no when they want to, not being able to defend their wishes and properties, these kind of things makes them targets for bullying ..and we know what that means later,some kids get over it, some remain scarred for their entire lives.

wowdo avatar
propername
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a former kid I 100% approve of this. It doesn't count as sharing if your a*****e kid thinks he can get whatever he wants only because the other kid didn't say no. I was a super shy kid and I felt overwhelmed when someone tried to take my stuff so I would just let them take it and most of the time they didn't even give it back. Also kids in kindergarten sometimes are really possessive over ''shared'' toys so it was nice when I had something they couldn't take.

limbo_the_lost avatar
Malin Rosenqvist
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people who say she's wrong to teach her son to say no, clearly got no idea what they're talking about.

lynsi_m_pasutti avatar
Lynsi Pasutti
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, not sorry to take it there, but.... consent vs. rape? ... Sharing with the one you CHOOSE? How about that?

ramblin avatar
Robert Glen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when my son was growing up my wife taught him to be a leader and not a follower. she also told him that if he wanted to share that it was okay but if he did not that was fine as well. being the only child he was spoiled. without hesitation he would share his toys , he would share his lunch and even give some of his clothes away. one day my wife asked him why do you like to share so much and his answer was well mom you want me to be a leader. what kind of a leader would I be if I kept everything for myself and nothing for everyone else. my wife said yes but you give your favorite toys away or your favorite pair of jeans. he answer was well mom I was blessed for having both of you and dad as parents and i'm lucky that I have all of the nice things. I know that I could have these items back if I asked you for it. some of my friends or classmates are not so lucky so when they smile and are happy that makes me happy. now he has his own business and is responsible for several employees.

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Gail Wright
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the mom did the right thing. Her son had toys he was anxious tomshare with a frind.mhe had nomwaynof kmowing if these 6 strangers would take his toys. He must have felt threatened or he would not have clutched them so tightly to his chest. Mom, don't let the negative comments by the narrow-minded change your mind or make you doubt yourself. You did the right thing. As working and tax-paying adults we are all forced to share our income with people who refuse to work. I see a direct correlation ... people (little boys, even) feeling entitled to what others have.

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Shana
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a difference between sharing turns at the swing or something at the playground, or sharing his own toys, he doesn't have to share those with total strangers if he doesn't want to. Would the other parents pay for the toys if their child broke his toy? Doubt it... And she doesn't say he doesn't have to share at all, but that it's ok to say no if he doesn't feel comfy with it.

jenpowell1976 avatar
Jen Powell
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is absolutely right. If he wanted to share he can, but he is not obligated to share anything with people he doesn't know.

lydiaross avatar
Lydia Ross
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you i would have reacted exactly the same your child isnt obliged to share with stranger's, the parents of the other children should teach them better manners

shadokat-ph avatar
shadokat
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a child there was a girl who lived down the street from me and would occasionally come to my house to play. It was just kids in a neighborhood hanging out together; I didn't have any particular affinity for her one way or the other. Every single time she came to my house she would start looking around my room and ask to "borrow" something. Translation: I want to take something of yours home and you will never see it again. I had not been taught how to deal with this type of a situation at age 4 or 5, so of course I always let her take something. I wish my parents had taught me that it was all right to say no to someone asking you for something you weren't sure if you were required to give or not. Being a generally bland and spineless child, I never said anything to anyone or asked for my stuff back. But school taught us to share and give, so that's what I did. This mother is fabulous for teaching her young son about trust and boundaries while he's small.

jillian-lloyd-31 avatar
Jillian Lloyd
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This mum is absolutely correct, and she gives very good reasons for her response. If everyone taught their children these things we would see healthier and more respectful behaviour and less bullying among kids, and they would grow up to be happier, less "entitled" adults with much better social skills. Sharing is a gift that shouldn't be demanded or taken for granted.

mdmjunior avatar
Marcio Junior
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not my toys, not my sandwich, not my problem... easy. But, just in the case, she is right.

kf_samandari avatar
.gas.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Raising the next generation of angry loners. Kudos, lady!

caprisun25 avatar
Capri Figueroa
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even as adults, you're looked at strangely for not wanting to share (insert object here, like gum)!!

rickycouture avatar
Ricky Couture
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really don't think it's healthy to have a hard-line stance on sharing either way. In terms of other kids feeling entitled to grab things that weren't offered to them, they should be denied, because that absence of appreciation for boundaries can have very serious consequences down the road...But to share in general is a very positive thing. When I was a kid, I wanted to share in the new things I got. Whether it was video games, or spending birthday money on cool things for other people. Conversely, I had friends that wouldn't share a thing. They'd invite me over and I'd just be sitting there, watching them play their new games while I was bored out of my mind. That kind of selfishness is good for nobody.

sashaimiyaalfonso avatar
Fillippa Nöel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are different ways to think of things but neither one is better. It depends on the situation

wanmu_mystic avatar
WanMu Mystic
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you should explain that to your son too. doesnt matter he understands it or not, you still have too. he will slowly understand little by little as he growing up.

sylverknyght069 avatar
Jason Forney
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's so easy to see (by commentary) who was raised well, and further break it down to who is liberal or conservative. The world don't owe you jack, what someone else worked for and or was given, does not belong to you and you have no right to ask for it. This mommy did right by her son, that's all that matters, who are you to shame her for teaching her child that he doesn't have to give up all his worldly possessions when some bigger kid comes by and demands it (basically teaching him how to deal with bullies). Bravo mommy, keep up the good work.

sarahmcguire111 avatar
Sarah Mulford McGuire
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is awesome! And she is teaching exactly right. Those were his to chose to share. I would be worried about the kind of parents that would be upset she didn't. As an adult I share, but I don't loan stuff to strangers. I loan them to my friends.😉

fcherie_6 avatar
Falon Messer
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is exactly why kids shouldn't bring personal toys to a park. Leave them in the car or keep them in your bag. I highly doubt kids wanting him to share his personal toys makes them some sort of psychologically disturbed children with no hope of being functioning adults.

donna_parker_1 avatar
Donna Parker
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children need to be taught to take turns on the swings and slides, etc., because the playground equipment belongs to everyone. But they don't have to share their personal belongings with rank strangers. Notice the 6 kids that ran up to him demanding that he share didn't come running offering to share their own toys in exchange. Look at toys that are played with by children whose families paid for the toys versus toys in a daycare center. One is well taken care of, the other often purposely damaged. And how many kids have never seen their bikes again because a child unknown to them demanded a turn and rode it straight out of the park.

readingirl1953 avatar
Diane Irwin
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree with the Mother. Adults can be pretty judgemental but how would they react if someone came up and demanded they share their purse or coat or IPad. Snowflakes don't like to be told no and it starts at an early age. Teaching a child it's ok to say no could very well save their life someday.

leighann_erdman avatar
Leigh Erdman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every day I deal with adults who never learned boundaries or the ability to say no as a child. They are anxious people pleasers. Here's a thought, I will go to the park and ask to share your car. After all isn't that what some of these people want to teach this child. Sharing is caring is the biggest crock of liberal America. Oh you mean I can't share your car but this child should share his toys. This mother is teaching this child to respect his own values and set boundaries. She should not have to justify it to people who will never pay for it when their children destroy it.

dolphin2beblue avatar
Tracie Bradley
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I happen to think she's right . He shouldn't have to share with strangers definatly not if they make him uncomfortable i think she is teaching him right, just because they want it doesn't mean he should give them away. but she needs to also teach him that if another child doen't want to share their things with him that they don't have to either

davidsherry avatar
Sherry Haught
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for her, I have the same idealism when it comes to raising my children. They will share if they are comfortable, not because others feel entitled. That is the problem with our young adults today and I am not going to contribute to that strange tactic or off beat "wisdom" again. Others would do right by following:) Blessings

skaggsie7 avatar
Angie Skaggs
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To the people who think she was wrong - If you were sitting in the park working on your laptop, and I came over and asked you to share, how would you respond? I'm guessing you'd tell me to take a hike and would not hand over your laptop for me to use.

jazmynbjaz avatar
Jazmyn B (Jaz)
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just know this woman has got a lot of hate from other parents but I completely agree with her.

theodora-marasescu2003 avatar
Theo
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think most people are taught to share that they forget to teach people that we also have to look after ourselves and not have to do things for other people

naknudson avatar
Nancy Knudson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the mother no child is obliged to share with total strangers and their parents didn't teach them very well to allow them to make demands like this of strangers. It reminds of panhandlers on the street we all see today who feel we all owe them.

schweibish avatar
Jean Schweibish
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She seems like a very thoughtful mother, and I agree with every point she makes. Perhaps some people who disagreed might have missed the most important part of the story - her little guy DID bring his toys with the intention of sharing - and she helped him honor that commitment to friendship.

sheila_douglas avatar
Sheila Douglas
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom was right!! Ok so someone thought the sandwich wasn't a good example, how about this? You're an adult who has just bought a new car. . .3 strangers walk up to you and demand that you share it. Will you share your car with people you don't know? I don't think so and no child has to share his personal belongings with strangers!

beatrix_muircastle avatar
Beatrix Muircastle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she did right. they were rude and demanding and frankly they looked like bullies in training. I'd do the same and their parents can suck it.

natashaaka626 avatar
Natasha Jordan
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

forcing them to share can lead to trauma as an adult... i feel compelled to give everything i have to others because how i was raised, i fear people and what they would do or say if i said no....

egale_1 avatar
Anne
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this mom did handle in a good way. And u don't even have to explain to others. (Or maybe this once. So others see your point a view. But it is clear. Just a good job.

catherinethompson avatar
Catherine Thompson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Boundaries are important in all areas of living. The only problem is if you set boundaries for possessions, people will call you selfish and be mean to you. Carson's mother taught him not to be selfish, but the right kind of selfish.

catherinethompson avatar
Catherine Thompson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Boundaries are important in all areas of living. The only problem is that once you set a boundary for property (say, not letting your sibling play your expensive, school-owned instrument) you

alex-williams avatar
Alex
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't realise some people thought the whole world was communist.

iulianpopa avatar
iulian popa
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So raising 6 socialists to one capitalist? we are doomed 30 years from now

jsavage06 avatar
J Savage
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree to an extent only because she could've taught him a better lesson: how to share and compromise. "I am willing to share if you promise not to break them." "I am willing to share and when my friend gets here, she has to be able to play with them too." If the kids couldn't follow those conditions then say: no because xyz. That way everyone learns a lesson. Honestly though, what happened to sharing is caring? & when did we stop teaching our kids about random acts of kindness? Why not share the toys and potentially make more friends from it? What if that child doesn't have ANY toys at home & just wanted a few moments to enjoy one? What if asking to play with the toy was that child's easy way of saying "Hi. Will you play with me because I have no friends." We never know what is going on in a person's life & those random acts of caring/generosity could mean a lot to them & you not even know it.

brandysmail78 avatar
Brandy Clifton Tapia
Community Member
6 years ago

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I curious as to what she thinks is shareable, as an adult that is. Wait til he grows up and gets taxed. Lol

laury-mdragon avatar
Laury M.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, and gets to use infrastructures like roads and waste collection, and not have to pay a dime for it. You do know that's how taxes work, right? You give the government money and they organize things so you have basic services that you just take for granted?

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John L
Community Member
6 years ago

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I can understand why she would want to protect her son's valuables, but why did she not realize this would occur in a public park? Had he been allowed to only take only one piece with him, she could have controlled the situation much better.

laury-mdragon avatar
Laury M.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being in a public place does not equate having to share your personal belongings. It's awesome if he WANTS to share with strangers, and he should find the right balance to do so when using public or collective property, that's fantastic. But his own toys, there is no obligation to, regardless of where he is.

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Peta Hurley-Hill
Community Member
6 years ago

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I was 50/50 on this until she said "the next time your snowflake runs to you"...Anyone who uses that term (often coupled with "get over your butt hurt") is an idiot.

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Jeanie Smith
Community Member
6 years ago

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She can teach her kid whatever she wants. If she called one of my kids a snowflake, she'd be eating through a straw on account of me showing my kids how to set boundaries.

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Γιώργος Γιαννακόπουλος
Community Member
6 years ago

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Children are not adults. They do not fully grasp notions of politeness, private space or private property, especially when they are so young. The reaction of the mother was partially correct but in my opinion ended up wrong. She could have instead told the rest of the children to bring their toys along as well, creating the opportunity for her son to share what he owns in equal terms with the rest of them, thus giving him the opportunity to socialize properly. The mere fact that she is trying to excuse her behaviour by relating it to an adult's response to a similar incident is out of topic completely. If that woman was in dire need of help, needing food or clothing or something material in any case, she would be asking it from adults, strangers probably, with the justified expectation that they would help her. Nobody is going to justify snatching of course, but as adults we are required to look beyond the obvious and try a little harder as far as bringing up our children is required

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Felicity Lynch
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your wrong! He brought his toys to share with his friends. Therefore he is already sharing and socializing with others. The other kids were strangers they've never seen before and are unlikely to again.

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Debra Brown
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6 years ago

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Look up the true history of the word "snowflake" and then find another word. Otherwise, I take no issue with the mother.

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Tilda
Community Member
6 years ago

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Teach children to function as adults? Geez, just let kids be kids while they still can

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guess
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think that was what she meant necessarily. It isn't as though she's making him get a job or forcing him to stay indoors all day and read algebra books or anything. She's teaching him how to stand up for a fundamental human right-- the right to do as he wishes with himself and his property-- while he's young so that as an adult he'll be able to stand up for his autonomy and respect others' rights as well. He'll be able to enjoy his childhood more if he isn't letting other walk all over him no matter what and he'll have a stronger sense of self control and freedom as an adult.

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Stille20
Community Member
6 years ago

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I think she is being over dramatic. This is a normal teaching moment. I agree you don't have to share and you have to find a way to say no to things politely. If you are going to stand up for yourself, you need to learn to ignore "dirty looks" real or imagined.

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Katrina Gardner
Community Member
6 years ago

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I totally understand her reasonings of not forcing her child to share with strangers. HOWEVER....if you don't want issues at the public park...don't take toys..... leave them in your purse until the friend gets there....it is super frustrating to have to pry my crying child away from your very fun toys....and before anyone yells at me...I 100% teach my children that other kids don't have to share their toys.... thats the way it is....but it kind of stinks to deal with...

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Laury M.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you 100% taught your children that other kids don't have to share their toys, you wouldn't have to pry them crying from other children's "very fun toys". Clearly their sense of entitlement is stronger than your parenting, and the onus is not on other people to make up for that.

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Juan Alcorta
Community Member
6 years ago

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Some day, you´ll be in need, and people will say NO, just because the don´t want to help you.

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Sharon Rayder
Community Member
6 years ago

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This lady's position is the whole argument for why people are against welfare. Had she made her son give up his toys, that's like the government taking ur hard earned money and giving it to strangers. I fully agree with this mom.

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Blue Rectangle
Community Member
6 years ago

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Joy. Raise a kid to internalize that sharing with strangers is bad and to not feel bad about it. Great. Won't share a sandwich because it's yours? Awesome.. Why give your seat in the bus? You were there first. Why give money to a beggar? I worked hard for my money. The principles of compassion are so easily destroyed. So yes, you have to raise your kid to not be a victim, of course. But calling other kids "snowflakes" gives her away, so so fast That was pretty scummy, Blaming it on the world we live in is a cop out. We make the world we live in. But fine, it works both ways. I certainly hope she finds herself in a position where she will depend suddenly on some stranger's kindness. And that that stranger says "No, because I don't have to".

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Flora Polvado
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I Volunteer full time,I share my seat on a bus, given food to a homeless person, and when someone DEMANDS what is mine, I say no.

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Faatui Panama
Community Member
6 years ago

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Good. When he dies you can just bury all his c**p with him since that's all he'll probably have anyway.

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Frankly Ogre
Community Member
6 years ago

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I wish this mother wasn't such an anarcho-capitalist, who obviously worships at the altar of Ayn Rand. Her kid is just going to be another head we have to press up against the wall and shoot when the revolution comes. What a waste. Sharing is caring. Hoarding is suicide.

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Abhisek Chakraborty
Community Member
6 years ago

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It would be very unwise to expect children to think and function like adults. I presume he is too young to judge the difference between "greed" and "need" and i see no harm in teaching him to share everything till the time he learns to differentiate between the two.

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Ana nas Tintas
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He felt uncomfortable. If you know that your kid would react in another away with friends or just one or two strangers it's fine to say no.

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