Vegan Teen Expects Everyone To Accommodate Her New Diet And Stop Eating Meat At Home, Dad Disagrees
Only a few topics are as contentious as our diet and food choices — particularly the vegan vs. meat eater debate. While we like to think that everyone’s dietary preferences are valid, tensions inevitably arise when people who choose different paths have to live together under one roof. And the issue becomes even more magnified when they try to force their personal beliefs onto others.
This story shared with the AITA community gives us insight into precisely such a situation. It comes from a dad whose daughter, a 14-year-old teen, decided to go vegan. While the couple jumped at the chance to show support with open minds and full hearts, the situation changed once she started criticizing how her parents run their lives in their own house.
And it all started with a pan. “She saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then I rinsed it out to load in the dishwasher. She exploded in anger,” the user wrote, detailing how things only escalated from there. Scroll down to read the story in full, as well as the reactions that followed. Be sure to decide for yourself where you land on the matter, and then weigh in on the discussion in the comments below!
After his daughter decided to go vegan, this dad jumped at the chance to show support in her dietary journey
Image credits: Malte Helmhold
But when she started criticizing the way parents run their lives in their own house, he wondered where to draw the line
Image credits: Andrew Ridley
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio
Image credits: frustratingbaconeate
Every family has their stories about conflict at the dinner table. But as the author notes in his story, people must learn to adapt and live side by side under one roof. While denying her demands to remove all foods which don’t accommodate her diet from the kitchen caused tension in the family dynamics, many readers found that to be a wise move. The vast majority of Redditors deemed the dad has every right to eat what he wants in his own home, and that the daughter should stop forcing her lifestyle on others.
With more and more young people around the world adopting healthier and more mindful lifestyle choices, these family conundrums may be more common than we think. According to Plant Protein’s sources, 6% of US consumers are vegan. Whether for health reasons, climate change, animal welfare, or to satisfy the curiosity of what the buzz is all about, vegan statistics show the plant-based population continues to spike. In fact, compared to previous years, it’s now spreading like wildfire. The vegan market has boomed, and restaurants and fast-food chains are starting to accommodate people with plant-based options.
When it comes to a vegan diet, the conversation has as much to do with the life philosophy and ethical commitments as with what’s on the plate. Sometimes emotions get heated and tensions arise, but clear communication and a sense of empathy from both sides can go a long way. To find a way out of this situation, family members need to sit down, have a conversation, and figure out what to do next so everyone can live in harmony.
According to an article on Live Strong, it’s important to consider family meals that work for everyone. While this will be hard, there are plenty of food choices to give you a variety of dishes to choose from. “My biggest tip for these families is to prepare meals that can be easily customized,” Paige Foote, RD, said. Dishes like burrito bowls and stir-fries are great because they use the same base ingredients of starch, protein, and vegetables.
“Depending on your family, everyone can prepare two or more variations of those base ingredients,” she added. “Most veggies should work for any diet, although it’s important to keep in mind how they’re prepared.” And if you’re concerned about cross-contamination, consider buying separate dishware or washing the existing equipment and utensils thoroughly.
Let us know your thoughts about this story down below. Do you think the dad is right to refuse his daughter’s request and draw the line? What would you personally do in this situation? Be sure to share your takes with us below, and if you have any tips for handling these situations better, feel free to tell us all about them in the comments!
The vast majority of readers expressed support for the dad’s decision, here’s what they had to say
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Share on FacebookI loved the suggestion to get the daughter a dedicated meat-free dishwashing sponge! The dad here is doing a great job of supporting his daughter's developing autonomy; since she is too young to work, it makes sense for the parents to buy her food and cooking things. However, now that they've been so accommodating, it sounds like the next thing she needs is a reminder that, as the saying goes, her right to swing her arm ends at the next person's nose. She's years away from getting to make the rules for her own "castle." If she's planning on college, the dining halls will probably have vegan options--almost all of them do, these days!--but there won't be a separate kitchen or equipment. And it's entirely likely that her assigned roommate will sometimes eat meat in the room--some schools have a "Veggie dorm," but it's certainly not universal, and even where it exists, freshmen are generally not guaranteed their housing preference.
I def think that part of it is her age, too. If she stays vegan, I think she'll "mellow out" if the parents nip it in the bud right away. They're doing the right think by allowing her to go vegan, but I think this could def serve as a good lesson of entitlement and also could help educate her on the whole contamination thing she's so afraid of
Load More Replies...The mother’s idea of only eating meat at relatives’ houses. What makes her think that, once the daughter gets her taste of power at homes, that she won’t throw world class hissy fits at the relatives’ houses and insist they too accommodate her by not eating meat either. Nope. Nip this spoiled brat behavior in the bud, before you create a Frankenstein that can’t be UNcreated.
Mom certainly comes off as an enabling wuss here. I think she needs to grow up a bit as well.
Load More Replies...Seriously?! Put your foot down and parent that girl. Teach her that she can’t force her lifestyle on everyone else. Its time for a valuable lesson in compromise and getting along with others. Otherwise you are just raising another entitled whiny adult
Seriously I suspect that she is risking very seriou ongoing psychological problems for the daughter, that could result in a life time of psychiatric problems for her. (Speaking as someone who has a close friend who let her daughter get away with that sort of rubbish.) I would also suggest that the parents consult the daughter's school re any social problems she is having there,.
Load More Replies...NTA. Sounds like you and your wife have been overly supportive and for a long time. Ur daughter comes across as spoiled w/no respect for others (her parents) nor regard for anyone else's wants/needs but strictly HER OWN. A shame. It's not a good look. Do urselves a favor, and an even bigger one for ur daughter, and please draw a line in the sand now b4 it's too late. Ask her to make do w the concessions you've already made by developing her 'veganism' within the parameters you've set. She can wash her own dishes, if she doesn't want to use the dishwasher. Easy-peazy. I'd wager $ on her being back on burgers b4 long. And, u don't want to be responsible for raising her to expect the world to acquiesce to her every whim (won't happen!) by enabling this selfish and unattractive behavior. God forbid she try to force everyone around her to bend to her whims. She'll end up a very lonely adult.
Veganism apart though, she was 14. Drama is a big part of any 14 year old girl's life. Dad's definitely nta.
Load More Replies...There's a bit of text missing... here goes the original from reddit: "... adjusted our budget to include more expensive vegan substitutes for her, etc. None of this has been a problem for me until recently. She saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then I rinsed it out to load in the dishwasher. She exploded in anger (teen years, I’m not too fussed about the anger explosion, I know she doesn’t mean it) ..."
Part of growing up is also getting to learn that everyone has a choice, one that will not always be the same preference as yours. You learn to accept the differences and accept that whatever it is you believe in, might not apply to all, you can share your reasons why, but as soon as you start imposing, preaching, demanding the same of those around you, you're nothing but an entitled person that thinks the world revolves around you .... Guess what? It doesn't ;)
It sounds like the house is meat contaminated, I see only one solution that the teen find her own place this way she is meat free. And since the dad has touched his money with his meat hands, then the daughter needs to find some vegan money to live in her new vegan house.
NTA. Why do some vegans think that non-vegans need to adapt and adjust to suit them? You're just gonna have to accept that many people around you are not vegan and never will be. Learn to deal with it.
I think the big thing here is puberty rather than the veganism, to be fair. If it hadn’t been the food I’m fairly convinced it’s been something else.
Load More Replies...I will always support my children's choices when it comes to eating meat, but it would be a blizzard in hell before I let my child dictate where I store my foods and wash my dishes. That's the kind of behavior that gives vegans a bad name. Set those boundaries early. If you allow your child to force you out of your own house to eat meat, you teach her that bullying and entitlement is acceptable. She's going to grow up eventually, but you have to get her to understand that that is not how the real world or respect works.
An excellent teaching opportunity for the father to the daughter here about mutual respect for one another’s lifestyle choices and making it clear that forcing ones views onto another is unacceptable.
Just no! When she has her own place she can control the kitchen. Seriously! Wow
She needs to learn that the world will not go all out to accomodate her habits and views. This obsession with 'contaminated xyz' ist where Veganism crosses the border from ethic choice to neurosis and going too deeply in that rabbit hole will mean you cannot travel, cannot work, cannot leave your carefully constructed bubble. Living vegan is an admirable life choice, but the rest of the world still runs very differently and we need to b able to live and interact with it.
I was 13 when I became a vegetarian. I was a complete a*****e about it too. Then I realized I was a complete a*****e and stopping telling everyone what I Thought they were doing wrong. I think she will figure this out and relax.
Sadly, not necessarily. I've been on a university field trip with one of these vegan goddesses. A grown-a*s woman, 21 y/o threw a screaming tantrum in the middle of the kitchen because we didn't use a separate cutting board for the cheese. 🤦🏻♀️ I was like babes, we're in the middle of f*****g nowhere in a converted cow shed. We don't have a million cutting boards to suit your hysterics. legit wanted to kick her into orbit.
Load More Replies...Wait until she finds out some of the ingredients in her makeup products...
Not really -- I'm a non-vegan who uses cruelty-free, vegan makeup exclusively and find that the only beauty product that needs to have any animal product in it is lip balm, which is often made with beeswax.
Load More Replies...I am vegetarian and have been for 15 years. She obviously hasn't done any research or critical thinking. How can a dishwasher be "contaminated" with meat when it literally washes everything away? Also storing meat in the fridge is not going to affect anything, anyone who has taken a food safety course knows as long as you store meat on the bottom of the fridge (bottom shelf or bottom drawer) everything else in your fridge will be safe. As for the Pan...unless it's a cast iron pan it will be food safe. If your using a non-stick or a metal pan that gets washed after use....it is not contaminated, because soap washes everything off. Tell her to grow up.
She's 14yo. Nothing you do will ever be correct for the next 4 years at least. Also, NTA. You've supported her more than a lot of parents would. She's being ridiculous.
Nope. She's being a brat. You did that right thing by accommodating her veganism by having the food and was nice enough to get her separate pans. Now she's being unreasonable with unrealistic expectations. If she's going to act like that she can cook her own food and wash her dishes separately. You're the parents, she's the child. It's both your responsibility to nip this behavior in the bud before it gets out of control. She doesn't get to bully you on how to live and eat and your own home. She's going to have to deal with living with meat eaters in the real world. Cafeterias at college and restaurants aren't going to have dishes washed separately. They even post a sign for potential food contaminations to let people who have food allergies aware.
Sounds to me like she might also be developing some eating difficulties. This type of thing can be real early signs of eating disorders. I don’t think family need to stop eating meat, and I think dad has done lots to support. But I would keep an eye on her personally
Not unreasonable, but every power~crazed kid is not a bulimic (or whatever else, since someone is bound to say "what about X") waiting to happen.
Load More Replies...Do not raise a little that vegan teacher. You need to speak with her about compromise, and discuss an action plan for what you’ll BOTH do to help EACH OTHER feel comfortable.
Short answer: NTA. When she pays the bills, she can do whatever she wants. Under your roof, she still has rules to abide by.
She is being an unreasonable fourteen year old. Kids that age are idiots and seems this is a teaching moment about mutual respect. One the other hand i'm not a fan of a parent going on Reddit to complain about their kid in a AITA that is clearly designed for validation.
She needs to wash her pans and plates by hand then, dishwasher is not by default - it’s a privilege after all. She needs to adjust, not anyone else. Family is already kind and accommodating to her needs enough. It’s her parents home, going to eat somewhere else, not being able to eat at own home… he’ll no, that’s crossing the line. Now it’s daughters turn to learn how to be accommodating to her parents.
What a wonderful father. I hope the daughter realizes how accommodating her father has been and continues to be. She has it very lucky, but its not always going to be that way. Also, like The Simpsons episode Lisa The Vegetarian notes, you can influence people without badgering them. Also, its weird of Bored Panda to pull an AITA from 3 years ago. Shame there doesn't seem to be a follow up though
He sounds like a great dad. But as with all these things, would be interesting to hear her side. Also why is putting his frying pan in the dishwasher, it ruins them, even if they say they are dishwasher safe.
Load More Replies...Why are you negotiating with your child? You are the adult. You are the adult. You're obviously at your wits end. I'll tell you what adults did in this situation pre-2000. They told the children how things were going to be. Because, you know, adults? Parents have totally surrendered their authority in recent decades. It's time for that to stop.
I guess she just die at my nome because vegan food would be banned!!!! AND AS MY GRANDPARENTS AND PARENTS SAID EAT WHAT I MADE OR STARVE IS YOUR CHOICE!!!!! THERES PEANUT BUTTER IF YOU DONT LIKE MY FOOD!!!!!
Load More Replies...She is just showing her immaturity by demanding people be tolerant and adapt to her needs without honouring the same courtesy to others. How will she deal with kissing a boy she really likes who just ate a burger? I bet she wouldn't care diddly squat then. She is pushing boundaries and once she sees that she can actually control her own parents ( if you give in to all her demands) it will be something else she will be insufferable about next time. It's not just about her being Vegan, it's about her learning now that tolerance and kindness to others is important. You have done enough already and been very good to her. She needs to give you the same respect back.
I agree that this is a power play by a spoilt child. She can wash her own dishes, because the dishwasher is a "Meat Zone." She can cook her own meals, so that there's as little "cross contamination" as possible, and certainly she will want to buy her own food (paid by parents, but at a weekly limit to keep her marginally sane with buying power) to be certain it hasn't been 'tainted' by "teh ebil meets." I suspect that attitude will last half a week once she learns the parents are backing each other up.
This teen is trying to run the household without any contribution, and these idiotic parents are allowing it. There is being supportive and then there is indulgent, they have gone too far into indulgent.
I went vegetarian at age 12. It was 1990, way before it was a thing. I just couldn't be an armchair hypocrite and say "What they do to animals in commercial factories is horrible and cruel, can you pass the KFC, please?" So I made my decision. I never once expected anyone else to join me. I've never tried to convert anyone else either. It was my personal choice. My family were and are big meat eaters. Mom was supportive. My dad wasn't nearly as supportive as you were. Everytime he was eating meat, he would stop, put some on a fork, point it at me and say "You want a bite?" While having a shitty grin on his face. I was in my late 30's before he finally stopped doing it. I guess he finally realized that the phase wasn't going to wear off. 😆Kids need to realize that the world does not and will not revolve around them. You cannot dictate what other people do. You only ever have control over your own actions and nothing else.
NTA, dad!! I don't know if your daughter eats out, but it may surprise her that, 1) vegan dishes are served on the same menus at some eateries, and 2) vegan or not, the dishwasher doesn't care, it's still a dirty dish to be washed! Most dishwashers are pretty good at getting rid of food particles, residue, whatever, and with the proper detergent! If she wants to force everyone in the house to cede to her wishes, she needs to be reminded that, until she starts to pay the bills, she better get over herself FAST!! Good for you to buy her her own cookware to prepare her vegan meals, but if she wants to wash dishes HER way, she better wash her dishes by hand since the dishwasher is "contaminated"!
This hit close to home. My mom just started a vegan diet and tried forcing on me and being passive aggressive to sometimes straight aggressive when trying to convince me. I told my mom I loved that it was working for her but I'm purposely eating the way I do to maintain my current weight. My boundary is when I'm expected to just go with it because it works for one person. Vegans not for everyone, so that boundary she pushed a lot.
I saw a couple comments about how bad meat is for the modern human and I just gotta... Oh word.... No. It's not. Meat is literally the most efficient way for your body to get all of the nutrients it needs to function. Sure some of the meat harvesting practices we have are inhumane and unsustainable, but don't come at me with your misinformation about meat being bad for you. If you want a solid argument on this, go check out the Beyond Meat debate that Oxford held.
So I'll be that person first real quick. That right there is why most people are wary of vegans. Your teen daughter is one thing but having some total stranger trying to preach and dictate to you is beyond obnoxious and I can't even recall a single vegan post online I've read where they didn't spend a large amount of the post shaming omnivores. Yeah, get her her own stuff. She can get her own mini fridge even to keep her stuff away from the 'tainted fridge' LMAO. Dad is doing awesome with this. Hopefully she'll chill out about it because going out in the world people aren't going to be half as willing to humor let alone accommodate her, especially if she keeps that level of pushiness most vegans have.
I went vegetarian at 14 and if I'd asked my parents to give up meat I'd have been laughed out of the house. My diet choice, not their problem which is fair.
This comes down to p**s poor parenting. When she has her own job and her own apartment then she could be as vegan as she wants.
Firstly, pls dont call peeps bad parents its not like ur given a user manual for ur specific kid so just dont.... secondly, ya the kid can by her own pans, her own dishwasher, and be her vegan self lol
Load More Replies...Here is part of the problem. In the future, this attitude will be super difficult to live with. For example, if this daughter works at a large company, exoecting the kitchen/ staff room to be meat free would both near impossible, but also unreasonable. Plus, i don't know of any vegan/ meat free (true) grocery store. Thos girl needs to learn that the world won't cater to her veganism the way she expects her parents to at home. Maybe she will realize this once she becomes an adult....but if not, shexis likely in for a rude awakening
She's a snot-nosed teenager. You shut that mess down saying, "Well, you can always get a job, move into your own place and make your OWN house rules, or stay here and buy your OWN food, but if you don't pay us a salary, you don't get to tell us what to do here." That's it, that's how you shut them down with the nonsense. Raised three daughters and have three teen grandsons, so I know.
The girl is 14 people! Hello? In 6 months she'll change her mind and want meat again! If not get her a little fridge of her own! I agree with dad. It's your house, you eat meat and she has to till now Making a few changes for her is great but as far as changing ur life around on a whim is ridiculous!
NTA.. first off your the adult. You have accommodated your child to the extreme. Now it's time she accommodate in return. She needs to learn the fine art of compromise. Get her a special color sponge to match her special color pots and pans. Then get you some nice pretty colored tape. Mark of a section of the fridge that is strictly vegan. No meat will be in that area or be allowed to drop there. She need to make her own meals that are vegan unless everyone is having vegan for the meal. You have been exceptional in dealing with the life changes of your child. Kudos for the effort. Just remember your still a parent that needs to make sure their child is not a vegan Karen.
Just curious, does the girl in the plastic bubble share classrooms with non vegans? Car rides? Social events? Bars of soap? She needs to get over herself.
This is what happens when you raise children to be entitled. A food allergy is much different then moral or a dislike of foods. If it were my kids, they would very simply be washing their own dishes in the sink. If parents allow their kids to run a house then this is the kind of c**p that happens. She is 14. Old enough to babysit, or do lawncare, clean houses etc for cash. In all likelihood, she doesn't know how to eat vegan/vegetarian properly to begin with. Most don't at that age. You can't just cut meat/dairy out and keep healthy very long. Time for girl to start getting some jobs to support her proper diet. I hope the dad (and the mother) teach her properly. Starting with, washing her own dishes. Maybe for Xmas or a birthday she can ask for monetary contributions for her own mini fridge to be put in her room. Or gawd for bid, she earns her own cash to buy one. They aren't expensive
This child is suddenly entitled to think that the home is hers and she has say over what goes in it regarding foods and other things. She needs to learn to do for herself then and wash her own dishes.
This kid is going to have to learn to live with carnivores. No one out in the world is going to accommodate her to this extent. It's better she learns that it's not all about her now instead of when she's that person at work who is going to HR to demand a vegan office because someone had a bacon cheeseburger for lunch and then touched something.
14 is hard. Vegan in a meat household is hard, and so is meat in a vegan household. Remember that when we learn a new thing by ourselves rather than have someone just tell us, our brains encode that as "more true", even when it's completely wrong. Sign the two of you up for a nutrition class. Because one thing that isn't hard is to be vegan wrong and become malnourished. Tell her you want to learn how to better accommodate her, which you will. And she will learn that "contamination" from touching the fridge or eating in the same room or using the same dishwasher is BS. But never point that out; let her learn it. Even if this ends up being a phase, a nutrition class is never a waste.
This behavior is why so many people hate vegans, "veganazi" is what I like to call it. Tell her to shut it until she owns her own home, then she can make the rules. She's also being delusional "contaminated dishwasher"? Maybe she should see a counselor, because that's way over the top.
NTA but sometimes kids (and 14 is still a kid) misunderstand things as they grow up and try to learn how to "adult" for themselves. In my household it was merry misunderstanding about alcohol. My 16 year old and I decided buy a few kitchen things. They bought a blender bc they wanted to make smoothies and eventually take it to college later. Until then it was fine for me to use it. Until I had friends over and brought out the margarita mix. Well, now, it was contaminated and they couldn't possibly use it ever again. I know obviously how they feel about alcohol and how it tastes! They orated dramatically. (Their previous experience was a bit of wine at a religious service and an unpleasant runin with a drunk relative who was uncouth with their language and questions before they were escorted from a family gathering. I had to put on a serious face and explain that a thorough cleaning would take care of any residual tequila and I would not be replacing the blender.
When Princess is paying the bills, THEN she gets to decide what others eat.
Still doesn't give her the right to dictate what others eat. Can I tell you what to eat? I work and pay bills
Load More Replies...Get her a mini fridge and also tell her sternly to shut the hellup. She is pissing and moaning about respect, it goes both ways. He's been accommodating but she needs to reciprocate, she's not so far so she's The ahole
Oh please, how ridiculous. It boggles my mind that it would get to the point where you would have to question the parenting. Not a wonderful father at all. He raised an entitled brat who didn't nip it in the bud early enough. Listening and respecting a child's opinion is one thing, but being railroaded by them is another. When they are in their own house paying for their own food, they can live the lifestyle they want to live. The only thing that is being taught is that everyone needs to cater to her wishes and not to be accommodating to anyone else's.
She's 14~~they're all entitled at that age. Each one picks their hill to die upon, and this one hit it with attempting to control the food choices of others. The lame parent in this is Mom. Cook meat at the grandparents? Who actually believes that is gonna fly with *them*? Cook your food in your own damn house and give your brat a swat on the rump!
Load More Replies...I knew a vegan couple that had a daughter They didn’t even force their daughter to stick to a vegan diet. She was invited to my daughter’s birthday party one year and I made sure to have a veggie tray with an oil based dip (the party place limited what outside food could be brought in. I didn’t think about the fact that my homemade cupcakes contained egg. When the daughter asked, I felt so bad! I wanted her to be included! Both of her parents smiled and told her she was more than welcome to have a cupcake, and even assured her she could have a slice of cheese pizza.
The child is spoiled. Until I bought and cooked my own food, I ate what was set in front of me or I ate nothing. In the current economic climate, it is an extreme and dangerous accomodations to enlarge an already suffering budget.
It's a stage nearly all teenagers go through. They are still used to the childhood phase when everything seems to focus on them. It's the old life lessons of the world does not revolve around you, and learning that you don't know as much as you think you do. It will ease off, although most people don't completely outgrow it until thier late 20s . At 18 I thought I knew all I needed to and was a complete adult, ten years later I realized how much of a kid I still was at 18. She could use a reminder that while it's her home it is not in fact her house and until she pays the bills she has no authority to make any rules for the household, and never will hold the authority to boss her parents around. No matter how old you get your parents are still older than you. Unfortunately most of us have to learn all of this the hard way. (I know I did).
Even though I'm a vegan myself I do not think the Dad is over reacting. At the end of the day he's the parent and she's still the child/teen. I do suggest the parents watch "What the Health" on Netflix to learn a little from where her daughter is coming from. Even then the daughter has to compromise because not everyone is vegan and has to learn how to live with everyone.
My brother did this, only much worse. He became a vegetarian as a teenager and banned my mom and me from eating meat. Period. My mom was divorced so it was just the three of us and she didnt know how to parent a willful teenager I guess. So we weren't "allowed" to eat meat and if he caught us he wkould go on a tirade. He was probably 16 or 17. My mom went along with it and when she wanted to eat meat she drove to a fast food place and ate it in the car. Yep, for real. The result: I became a vegetarian because I actually did see the moral reasons for it, my mom was one off and on throughout her life, and my spoiled tyrannical brother was a vegetarian for years until he met a meat eating woman and she convinced him it was healthy to eat meat, lol. The larger issue is that because he was allowed to force his will on my mom and me (I was his younger sister), he became more and more aggressive and would scream and hit me when he didn't get his way. We are no longer in contact.
This reminds me of a vegan I work with. He was mostly sane and not too pushy - unless we were the only ones at the table (i.e. the meat-eating guy who was twice his size wasn't there). Anyway, I've seen him eating chocolate cupcakes lately - I'm pretty sure they're not vegan. I've been tempted to ask him, but I'm afraid it means he got divorced from his "perfect" wife...well, that and I don't want another lecture about foods he doesn't approve of.
Definitely NTA, it’s your house, her home but your house. When she moves into her own house she can make the rules. I have multiple life threatening food allergies and food sensitivities and the only food not allowed in my house is peanuts. Dishwashers with high enough temp and cleaned regular is safe for CC. Living this life for 12 years and never had an issue with dishes cleaned and sanitized in the dishwasher. Ask her if this means she’ll never go out to eat? No restaurant unless strictly vegan is going to accommodate or tolerate her outbursts. A good compromise as far as fridge, make one self and one draw completely meat free. Store meat on the bottom shelf with a liner so no juice runs out and gets on anything below it. Tell her to feel free to save her money for a small college dorm size refrigerator for her vegan foods.I do love the suggestion someone had about special sponges for her too wash her own dishes. Definitely no need to leave your house to eat meat. Ridiculous
NTA, and OP she is being f*****g ridiculous. My mom doesn't like certain foods, so she just goes somewhere else without fussing, and lives with the rest of the household, full of people who are fine with meat.
NTA. The kid is TA. My mom doesn't eat beef and instead of just buying it for us with every grocery trip,she makes it a treat. She only buys chicken because it goes with her meal plan. It's bogus. Stop forcing everyone else to eat what you eat. A
It's time to set some boundaries here. You've been supportive of her personal choices. It's a two way street. She needs to be supportive and respectful of your choices. I worked with a vegan. He'd take us to lunch at Vegan restaurants. Oddly, he would never go to non-vegan restaurants. It's indoctrination to some extent. Put the brakes on it now before it gets out of hand and your daughter thinks she has the right to make all your decisions. She's just a kid with limited experience. She has a lot to learn and experience still.
As a long time vegetarian who has spent like 20 years working in restaurants, I feel this dad should really inform his daughter about how she can never eat in restaurants again, because it is borderline impossible to get a meat-eating cook to give even the slightest amount of respect or care to the "vegan" dish they just ordered. Vegan with butter, and whatever else happened to be stuck on the grill when they started. Greasy bacon fingers on the fridge door? Try greasy bacon fingers in the spinach. And I live in the Pacific Northwest, which is way more vegan friendly than the Midwest, I can't even imagine how little Midwestern cooks care about your dietary restrictions.
How do you know if someone is vegan ?? They tell you, again, and again, and again...
I kind of feel like she may not be successful as a vegan right now because of her attitude. I don’t think it’s right to ridicule other people her father purchased her set of pots and pans I’m sure she has other things but to demand they stop eating meat is wrong. Let that be.a choice they want to do.
I remember when my younger sis and I were teens (have two younger sisters, one is 2 years you get and the other is 10 years younger). My tastes and likes were different from the rest of the fam and my younger sis was more health conscious. Parents told us either we learn to cook for ourselves, eat what was placed before us, or wait till we moved out to eat what we wanted. Those were the only options. In my case I cooked the meat to my liking (only one in the whole fam who likes it well done). Top it off, had food allergies developing (though didn't understand it very well 30 years ago at 15) so dealing with fruits and veggies were an unpleasant experience. As for my younger sister, she went kosher. She didn't convert from Christian to Jewish though. --- if we were unhappy with what was cooked, that was that. Meaning go to bed without supper. Parents weren't moneybags to squander away on food selection and picky eaters.
There might be more going on here than just wanting to be vegan, sounds like a kind of OCD... I also have this as part of overall OCD but not to this extreme! I can't touch raw meat or even the outside packaging sometimes, it has to be on its own shelf in the fridge as well... I do eat meat though it's just the raw part that scares me for reasons I have no idea of...
That's what was worrying me. This level of extreme suggests "purity" issues rather than actual cross contamination. Difficult to say whether it's normal stroppy teen, or the beginning of ED or something
Load More Replies...Is 14 too old for the time out chair? Unless she’s the breadwinner who bought the home and pays the bills, she needs to shut up and be happy her parent got her special pots and pans and buy her the vegan food she wants. She needs to learn that everyone is not always going to agree or do things her way, because out in the real world, most people are not going to care whether or not she approves of their diet choices or what her opinion is.
I would say that this girl has very serious problems. And NO, I would NOT humour her. It sounds too, too much like a neurotic problem, so I would seek councelling for all of you.
I'd tell daughter if she wanted a 'meat-free fridge, dishwasher, kitchen' she can get a job, move out and support herself. Until then, she's gonna have to get over herself. She lives with other people who aren't vegan. And who pay all of her bills.
NTA - but I think Mom is. Why the hell would she want to cater to this entitled little brat more than has already? Her own cookware, for cripes sake. Stand your ground! She needs a serious lesson in "the world does NOT revolve around you". My sister & her family are vegan & it has NEVER been a problem. When they come to dinner it's usually spaghetti bolognese, with the Italian sausages on the side or a "build your own" Greek salad where everything but the greens are in separate bowls.
. NTA, and you've compromised enough. Vegan is a choice, not a law, and she has to understand that.
It's really selfish and entitled to think that everyone around you needs to change their diet, especially when you're living in your parents' house. Parents need to be parents and not friends. She had to have gotten that entitlement from somewhere. I was allowed to have my own diet as a kid, likes and dislikes, but I had no authority over my mother and siblings. Nor would I have even cared enough to try to dictate what those around me do.
NTA: if you wanna be vegan fine bur NEVER force it on others especially parents when you live in their home. 10/10 dad for trying to be accommodating. But shes taking advantage of it now. Also as someone from the Midwest (IN to be exact) meat is LIFE there. You can not expect ppl around you to change diets for your personal sake
Well, if she can't stand it, she needs to get the heck out of their house. That is part of the problem today, we are too darn accommodating to stupidity. The fact that someone filled her head with ridiculous notion that being a vegan at 14 is good for her is the first issue. Kids today don't seem to have the where with all to filter BS and are so taken with social media they don't understand firm logic. While plenty folks will point to all sorts of studies about it, they will also ignore the hundreds of countries that are not vegan and live well past 100. They also ignore the health, skin, nails, hair issues that are obvious when someone eats vegan. It is not as simple as just removing animal protein out of your diet; there has to be substitutions that go far beyond "Beyond Meat" products. She wants pans, dishwashers and the sort, let her get a job. She can babysit, work at McD's, KFC and loads of other places. I would also let her buy her own food. That will help this crazy!
Dad needs to break out her pretty cold pans and let her watch him cook meat in every single one of them. When she loses her mind over it, just tell her "I bought these. These are MY pans. This is MY house. You live by MY rules, not the other way around. Now shut your mouth and learn to keep a civil tongue with your parents. "
Ok mom & dad, it's your house and you have the right to cook and eat what you want in your own home. You have gone the extra mile in many ways. I may have missed it but you could get her a small apartment size fridge/freezer for her room for her food. You may still buy her groceries but the rest is up to her. Maybe she goes grocery shopping with you and has her own basket. You already took care of the cooking utensils so you don't use them. She needs to do her own dishes by hand, the way her ancestors did... Or she can except the dishwasher has sanitizer cycle that gets all dishes clean, no cross contamination left on dishes. Have her cook her own food in her own pots and pans. If she wants extreme give her total responsibility for her food, preparation, and clean up. Don't assist her with that. Good luck.
NTA. If your daughter is serious, find a mini fridge and let her put it in her bedroom. That will accomplish 3 things. 1. Since it's "her fridge" there can't be any cross contamination, 2. If she has to get in and out of her fridge to eat, she'll have to keep at least part of her room clean, 😉, and 3. She won't want your bacon greasy hands on her fridge or food, so maybe you give her a food allowance and she starts buying her own tofurkey and bean curd and starts learning about a budget and the actual price of food and cost of living. and you can do your normal shopping and contaminate your own grocery cart, car, and refrigerator with that nasty (MOST DELICIOUS) old bacon to your heart's content. And if she gets really hard up about it, you can salvage the holidays by "letting" her eat her fake food in her room for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And if she plans to go to college, it is best to get the Militant veganism out of her system now, because dorm and dining halls don't care.
Yeah that's ridiculous. I get paranoid about gluten crumbs on the counter but I just wipe them off with a towel and then put a plate between my food and the counter
Someone needs to inform this child that animals are chopped and killed when crops are harvested all the time. She has unwittingly eaten baby deer, many types of small field animals, baby birds, snakes, and an uncountable number worm, grub, and bug parts and pieces.
Someone needs to take you to a slaughterhouse. You will find out real quick that meat eating is disgusting and it is wrong. And no millions of animals aren't getting chopped up when they farm the fields, lol. Most animals leave when they hear the commotion. Most crops are planted for animal feed anyway. We would have much more food if we didn't have to grown so much for the animals to eat. I don't agree with the daughter in the story, but there is NO COMPARISON between a few mice getting accidentally run over by a tractor and billions of cows, chickens and turkeys being slaughtered systematically for you to eat. Most of those animals are in unbelievably bad conditions throughout their short lives too. They're not living in a field. It is a horror movie. Visit a chicken place sometime. You won't eat chicken again after you see the horror. Trust me. It is worse than you can imagine.
Load More Replies...If she is going vegetarian I understand not having meat products mixed with hers. But if going vegan then butter, cheese and other foods are NOT allowed. Either way, it's HER choice not other's. Different pans/cookware, Different cleaning supplies ARE ok. Anything else is trying to control your. You are on the right path. NTA!!
Lol I must be a absolutely slack parent . After living with my partner and catering to his daughters different needs foods wise . Cooking cleaning school errands , I've decided no I cook one meal just one I buy fir a whole family and if any if my daughter's decidd to ho vegan good effort they can buy that expensive stuff when they leave home . Lol massive I live my kids but I am the queen of my house not my kids .
Nta ... She is a 14 year old girl ... You r trying to be accommodating to her new found " diet of choice" ( since she is a teen she might switch her diet again) buy her a sponge and tell her to get the hand washing her stuff ... But to tell u what to do with your fridge and what you can and can't do or eat your house is unacceptable, i would went ham on my child ... She is getting to controlling and you and your enabling wife need to nip that in a bud before it really gets worse ...smh
Your daughter's an idiot. Tell her when she's paying the bills she can make that call. Until then she would respect me or spend a LOT of time in her room with no TV, phone, computer or any electronic devices.
Man she's spoiled... The family is supportive and she still is makeing fuss about non-problems. Give finger and they will take whole hand. Besides, if you are a vegetarian in the meat eating household, than you should be the one adjusting to your family not the other way around.
Out of three adults in the home in/approaching mid-30's I am the one who is probably the biggest meat eater. Wanna know who cooks for my roommate's vegan dad when he comes to visit? ME. The mushroom jerky I tried when he came last I never hope to see again in my life, but amusingly enough I exclusively buy oat creamer now, lol
No, no, no. It’s fine that the kid is vegan, good, great, it’s also fine that she can put her foot down and it’s sort of ok if she’s a bit pìssy about things, being a teenager is hard for almost everybody: but this is the hill he needs to die on, for HER sake. That kind of blind, egofixated demand is something one sometimes get with teenagers but letting them getting away with it is to do them a disservice. The demand is beyond unreasonable and is built on the delusion that she’s the only person in the household with a right to needs and wants, and such behaviour will make life really hard for her if it isn’t halted immediately. Giving her what she needs to be comfortable is naturally the right thing, but letting her totally dismiss what everyone else need to be comfortable is not. I think it’d be wise to inform her - in no uncertain terms - that being egoistic, entitled and aggressive has negative consequences for her, socially and otherwise. I hope it panned out that way.
Shes going to have to use disposable plates, bc she cant wash the dishes by hand either. Hands are....made of meat! 😅
I'm not gonna say the dad has gone "above and beyond" here. He responded to a lifestyle choice his daughter made in a supportive and understanding way, ie what you're supposed to do as a parent. I will say that he did better than most people who won't even do the bare minimum and was kind enough to get her her own set of pans which is technically above but still not beyond, and finally I will say that the daughter is very much in the wrong here. She is trying to improve herself by exploring a new lifestyle and that is fine but you cannot under any circumstances demand that people follow your way of life, if the president suddenly declared that the color blue is now banned because they hate that color there would be riots across the country
If my kids pulled this I would love the opportunity to stop cooking and start enjoying their vegan meals that they prepared. And complain loud and long if it wasn't delicious I'm the A$$hole.
This entitlement generation is unbelievable, do not and I repeat do not give in to her if you do it’s not gonna stop at her being a vegan and trying to push her beliefs about veganism on you, it’s gonna go a lot further than that, Lord knows what she’s going to expect next and your wife is an enabler, why in the world would a man or a woman for that matter that have a home and a child the emphasis is here child, completely and totally change their eating habits and living habits and cooking habits to accommodate a child, stop now or you are going to regret it for the rest of your life.
I stop reading when someone labels an entire generation.
Load More Replies...You've been accomodating, so now it's time to set some boundries - there will be non-vegan products in the home. The "vegan sponge" is a good idea - build on it; help her come up with strategies that allow her to control her exposure to meat, but don't allow her to cross boundries by forcing unreasonable accomodations on others. For the fridge, instead of banning meat, how about having separate shelf or drawer for meat items or consider an opaque tupperware or something that you can put meat in so she doesn't need to see it in. Something else that you and your wife need to be aware of, is that your daughter may have, or be on the verge of developing, an eating disorder. Eating disorders are not limited to anorexia and bulemia with their focus on calories and weight. Other eating disorders can focus around ideas of cleanliness, purity, or some other good/bad categorisation. Being highly controlling about food is a warning sign, so read up on EDNOS, and how to help her.
Meat is the house norm. She can have a drawer for her vegan items.
Load More Replies...Honestly, I'm not vegan, and I don't agree with vegans, but from their perspective, everyone around them is just casually committing murder while they're just supposed to accept it.
Ok, but... So what? Is everyone else supposed to just change their lifestyle because the vegan says so?
Load More Replies...I know she acts like a moron and as a parent I would have done the same as her father. But still, do we need the int to discuss the strange behavior of a 14 year old girl?
Her father is looking for validation and insight, so yes. The internet is needed for what he requires.
Load More Replies...I have similar things going on in my class, this isn’t as much but just a side or, as much as I support lgbtq there’s three things I d on like: a: people who change races in sports (as much as I hate to say it so I’m wording it this way (and trust me I’m not saying they are not superior as my sister can hit a softball a record of 50 meters out of the park, and I’ve never beat her in a fight) it is unfair to the competition, b when people get extremely mad the first time you meet them that you got their pronouns incorrect (a simple reminder is fine, just it’s hard when someone yells @ you for it) and C: I forgot I’ll add it as an edit if I remember
This is why I f*****g hate vegans. They always want to push their beliefs onto other people, they're never content with just doing it for themselves...people either join them in their self-righteous crusade or they'll whine about it until they do. Screw vegans...I'm heading out & getting some burgers just to spite them. What jerks. XD
This is why I f*****g hate vegans. They always want to push their beliefs onto other people, they're never content with just doing it for themselves...people either join them in their self-righteous crusade or they'll whine about it until they do. Screw vegans...I'm heading out & getting some burgers just to spite them. XD
Don't let the little sob republican push you around. Eat the biggest steak you can get your hands on right in front of her
The parents are week and intimated by their daughter!!!! In my house she would starve, you eat what is made !!! That was ingrained by my grandparents and parents!!!!!!! And we all survived just fine!!!! And the HIT YOU IF YOU TALKED BACK!!!!!
While I agree that she is being overdramatic, for people saying that "you can't force your lifestyle on other people", would you say the same about slavery? People back then probably said the same things about people who were against slavery that you're saying about this girl now. Now we would celebrate people that were against slavery back then. People in 100 years or so will probably look back on us eating meat the same way that we look back on people who practiced slavery. Maybe in the future, people like this girl will be celebrated, like the Rosa Parks of the world. Just something to think about. *Now, before anyone accuses me of saying that eating meat is as bad as slavery (because there are always people like that), I'm not saying that they are the same but that both are moral and social issues.
I just say screw with the daughter wants don't give into any of her wins now don't buy her any vegan special food or anything tell her to go get a job and buy it for herself or she can eat what is prepared. Tell her she wants to go full weekend do it when she leaves your house that you're not going to cater to it. And only do that because she wanted to get unreasonablely demanding when she has no power and no say because she's just a kid she doesn't pay nothing she doesn't do nothing she gets no say it's just like with these women out there that want to say that men have to conform to this this this in order to be with him they get no d**k
You lost me at MORE EXPENSIVE. And SUBSTITUTES for(?) Substitute CHICKEN NUGGETS? Substitute MEAT? When she starts talking about contamination you do need to consider if she still shows a healthy relationship with food consumption. If she won't eat in a communal kitchen you may be dealing with an eating disorder.
It is one thing to self determine one's own diet. However, it seems more than just a stretch to try to impose these dietary habits on others. I do have vegan friends and one in particular that is borderline fanatical about it. Initially, I held my ground on her claims but over time she won me over to her view in a lot of ways. I tried some vegan items and to my surprise it was quite tasty. This is not to say I became a vegan but rather I began to see her point on many things. The inhuman ways animals are sometimes kept in tiny cages with many chickens in there. The enormous amount of farmland dedicated to feeding cattle instead of producing fruits, veggies, nuts etc. And the alleged negative affect the passing of gases from vast herds of cattle etc has on our environment. I am not a vegan but now I understand the reason for some of their passion like the plight of the whales, dolphins etc. I done't always agree but I respect their position.
Meat is meat. You're going on about cultural taboos. If you don't like it, then move on. Don't stay there, don't use a 'tainted' stove, and you certainly don't have the right to harass your friends about it. By the way, how many times did they cook liver, gizzards, kidneys, brains (though not technically a 'gut' item, I figure it would be on your list), etc? Not many folk do, unless they like folk/farm recipes where every bit of the critter is used. The point is, you don't get to determine how people live their lives, just as we don't have the right to screw with yours.
Load More Replies...I loved the suggestion to get the daughter a dedicated meat-free dishwashing sponge! The dad here is doing a great job of supporting his daughter's developing autonomy; since she is too young to work, it makes sense for the parents to buy her food and cooking things. However, now that they've been so accommodating, it sounds like the next thing she needs is a reminder that, as the saying goes, her right to swing her arm ends at the next person's nose. She's years away from getting to make the rules for her own "castle." If she's planning on college, the dining halls will probably have vegan options--almost all of them do, these days!--but there won't be a separate kitchen or equipment. And it's entirely likely that her assigned roommate will sometimes eat meat in the room--some schools have a "Veggie dorm," but it's certainly not universal, and even where it exists, freshmen are generally not guaranteed their housing preference.
I def think that part of it is her age, too. If she stays vegan, I think she'll "mellow out" if the parents nip it in the bud right away. They're doing the right think by allowing her to go vegan, but I think this could def serve as a good lesson of entitlement and also could help educate her on the whole contamination thing she's so afraid of
Load More Replies...The mother’s idea of only eating meat at relatives’ houses. What makes her think that, once the daughter gets her taste of power at homes, that she won’t throw world class hissy fits at the relatives’ houses and insist they too accommodate her by not eating meat either. Nope. Nip this spoiled brat behavior in the bud, before you create a Frankenstein that can’t be UNcreated.
Mom certainly comes off as an enabling wuss here. I think she needs to grow up a bit as well.
Load More Replies...Seriously?! Put your foot down and parent that girl. Teach her that she can’t force her lifestyle on everyone else. Its time for a valuable lesson in compromise and getting along with others. Otherwise you are just raising another entitled whiny adult
Seriously I suspect that she is risking very seriou ongoing psychological problems for the daughter, that could result in a life time of psychiatric problems for her. (Speaking as someone who has a close friend who let her daughter get away with that sort of rubbish.) I would also suggest that the parents consult the daughter's school re any social problems she is having there,.
Load More Replies...NTA. Sounds like you and your wife have been overly supportive and for a long time. Ur daughter comes across as spoiled w/no respect for others (her parents) nor regard for anyone else's wants/needs but strictly HER OWN. A shame. It's not a good look. Do urselves a favor, and an even bigger one for ur daughter, and please draw a line in the sand now b4 it's too late. Ask her to make do w the concessions you've already made by developing her 'veganism' within the parameters you've set. She can wash her own dishes, if she doesn't want to use the dishwasher. Easy-peazy. I'd wager $ on her being back on burgers b4 long. And, u don't want to be responsible for raising her to expect the world to acquiesce to her every whim (won't happen!) by enabling this selfish and unattractive behavior. God forbid she try to force everyone around her to bend to her whims. She'll end up a very lonely adult.
Veganism apart though, she was 14. Drama is a big part of any 14 year old girl's life. Dad's definitely nta.
Load More Replies...There's a bit of text missing... here goes the original from reddit: "... adjusted our budget to include more expensive vegan substitutes for her, etc. None of this has been a problem for me until recently. She saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then I rinsed it out to load in the dishwasher. She exploded in anger (teen years, I’m not too fussed about the anger explosion, I know she doesn’t mean it) ..."
Part of growing up is also getting to learn that everyone has a choice, one that will not always be the same preference as yours. You learn to accept the differences and accept that whatever it is you believe in, might not apply to all, you can share your reasons why, but as soon as you start imposing, preaching, demanding the same of those around you, you're nothing but an entitled person that thinks the world revolves around you .... Guess what? It doesn't ;)
It sounds like the house is meat contaminated, I see only one solution that the teen find her own place this way she is meat free. And since the dad has touched his money with his meat hands, then the daughter needs to find some vegan money to live in her new vegan house.
NTA. Why do some vegans think that non-vegans need to adapt and adjust to suit them? You're just gonna have to accept that many people around you are not vegan and never will be. Learn to deal with it.
I think the big thing here is puberty rather than the veganism, to be fair. If it hadn’t been the food I’m fairly convinced it’s been something else.
Load More Replies...I will always support my children's choices when it comes to eating meat, but it would be a blizzard in hell before I let my child dictate where I store my foods and wash my dishes. That's the kind of behavior that gives vegans a bad name. Set those boundaries early. If you allow your child to force you out of your own house to eat meat, you teach her that bullying and entitlement is acceptable. She's going to grow up eventually, but you have to get her to understand that that is not how the real world or respect works.
An excellent teaching opportunity for the father to the daughter here about mutual respect for one another’s lifestyle choices and making it clear that forcing ones views onto another is unacceptable.
Just no! When she has her own place she can control the kitchen. Seriously! Wow
She needs to learn that the world will not go all out to accomodate her habits and views. This obsession with 'contaminated xyz' ist where Veganism crosses the border from ethic choice to neurosis and going too deeply in that rabbit hole will mean you cannot travel, cannot work, cannot leave your carefully constructed bubble. Living vegan is an admirable life choice, but the rest of the world still runs very differently and we need to b able to live and interact with it.
I was 13 when I became a vegetarian. I was a complete a*****e about it too. Then I realized I was a complete a*****e and stopping telling everyone what I Thought they were doing wrong. I think she will figure this out and relax.
Sadly, not necessarily. I've been on a university field trip with one of these vegan goddesses. A grown-a*s woman, 21 y/o threw a screaming tantrum in the middle of the kitchen because we didn't use a separate cutting board for the cheese. 🤦🏻♀️ I was like babes, we're in the middle of f*****g nowhere in a converted cow shed. We don't have a million cutting boards to suit your hysterics. legit wanted to kick her into orbit.
Load More Replies...Wait until she finds out some of the ingredients in her makeup products...
Not really -- I'm a non-vegan who uses cruelty-free, vegan makeup exclusively and find that the only beauty product that needs to have any animal product in it is lip balm, which is often made with beeswax.
Load More Replies...I am vegetarian and have been for 15 years. She obviously hasn't done any research or critical thinking. How can a dishwasher be "contaminated" with meat when it literally washes everything away? Also storing meat in the fridge is not going to affect anything, anyone who has taken a food safety course knows as long as you store meat on the bottom of the fridge (bottom shelf or bottom drawer) everything else in your fridge will be safe. As for the Pan...unless it's a cast iron pan it will be food safe. If your using a non-stick or a metal pan that gets washed after use....it is not contaminated, because soap washes everything off. Tell her to grow up.
She's 14yo. Nothing you do will ever be correct for the next 4 years at least. Also, NTA. You've supported her more than a lot of parents would. She's being ridiculous.
Nope. She's being a brat. You did that right thing by accommodating her veganism by having the food and was nice enough to get her separate pans. Now she's being unreasonable with unrealistic expectations. If she's going to act like that she can cook her own food and wash her dishes separately. You're the parents, she's the child. It's both your responsibility to nip this behavior in the bud before it gets out of control. She doesn't get to bully you on how to live and eat and your own home. She's going to have to deal with living with meat eaters in the real world. Cafeterias at college and restaurants aren't going to have dishes washed separately. They even post a sign for potential food contaminations to let people who have food allergies aware.
Sounds to me like she might also be developing some eating difficulties. This type of thing can be real early signs of eating disorders. I don’t think family need to stop eating meat, and I think dad has done lots to support. But I would keep an eye on her personally
Not unreasonable, but every power~crazed kid is not a bulimic (or whatever else, since someone is bound to say "what about X") waiting to happen.
Load More Replies...Do not raise a little that vegan teacher. You need to speak with her about compromise, and discuss an action plan for what you’ll BOTH do to help EACH OTHER feel comfortable.
Short answer: NTA. When she pays the bills, she can do whatever she wants. Under your roof, she still has rules to abide by.
She is being an unreasonable fourteen year old. Kids that age are idiots and seems this is a teaching moment about mutual respect. One the other hand i'm not a fan of a parent going on Reddit to complain about their kid in a AITA that is clearly designed for validation.
She needs to wash her pans and plates by hand then, dishwasher is not by default - it’s a privilege after all. She needs to adjust, not anyone else. Family is already kind and accommodating to her needs enough. It’s her parents home, going to eat somewhere else, not being able to eat at own home… he’ll no, that’s crossing the line. Now it’s daughters turn to learn how to be accommodating to her parents.
What a wonderful father. I hope the daughter realizes how accommodating her father has been and continues to be. She has it very lucky, but its not always going to be that way. Also, like The Simpsons episode Lisa The Vegetarian notes, you can influence people without badgering them. Also, its weird of Bored Panda to pull an AITA from 3 years ago. Shame there doesn't seem to be a follow up though
He sounds like a great dad. But as with all these things, would be interesting to hear her side. Also why is putting his frying pan in the dishwasher, it ruins them, even if they say they are dishwasher safe.
Load More Replies...Why are you negotiating with your child? You are the adult. You are the adult. You're obviously at your wits end. I'll tell you what adults did in this situation pre-2000. They told the children how things were going to be. Because, you know, adults? Parents have totally surrendered their authority in recent decades. It's time for that to stop.
I guess she just die at my nome because vegan food would be banned!!!! AND AS MY GRANDPARENTS AND PARENTS SAID EAT WHAT I MADE OR STARVE IS YOUR CHOICE!!!!! THERES PEANUT BUTTER IF YOU DONT LIKE MY FOOD!!!!!
Load More Replies...She is just showing her immaturity by demanding people be tolerant and adapt to her needs without honouring the same courtesy to others. How will she deal with kissing a boy she really likes who just ate a burger? I bet she wouldn't care diddly squat then. She is pushing boundaries and once she sees that she can actually control her own parents ( if you give in to all her demands) it will be something else she will be insufferable about next time. It's not just about her being Vegan, it's about her learning now that tolerance and kindness to others is important. You have done enough already and been very good to her. She needs to give you the same respect back.
I agree that this is a power play by a spoilt child. She can wash her own dishes, because the dishwasher is a "Meat Zone." She can cook her own meals, so that there's as little "cross contamination" as possible, and certainly she will want to buy her own food (paid by parents, but at a weekly limit to keep her marginally sane with buying power) to be certain it hasn't been 'tainted' by "teh ebil meets." I suspect that attitude will last half a week once she learns the parents are backing each other up.
This teen is trying to run the household without any contribution, and these idiotic parents are allowing it. There is being supportive and then there is indulgent, they have gone too far into indulgent.
I went vegetarian at age 12. It was 1990, way before it was a thing. I just couldn't be an armchair hypocrite and say "What they do to animals in commercial factories is horrible and cruel, can you pass the KFC, please?" So I made my decision. I never once expected anyone else to join me. I've never tried to convert anyone else either. It was my personal choice. My family were and are big meat eaters. Mom was supportive. My dad wasn't nearly as supportive as you were. Everytime he was eating meat, he would stop, put some on a fork, point it at me and say "You want a bite?" While having a shitty grin on his face. I was in my late 30's before he finally stopped doing it. I guess he finally realized that the phase wasn't going to wear off. 😆Kids need to realize that the world does not and will not revolve around them. You cannot dictate what other people do. You only ever have control over your own actions and nothing else.
NTA, dad!! I don't know if your daughter eats out, but it may surprise her that, 1) vegan dishes are served on the same menus at some eateries, and 2) vegan or not, the dishwasher doesn't care, it's still a dirty dish to be washed! Most dishwashers are pretty good at getting rid of food particles, residue, whatever, and with the proper detergent! If she wants to force everyone in the house to cede to her wishes, she needs to be reminded that, until she starts to pay the bills, she better get over herself FAST!! Good for you to buy her her own cookware to prepare her vegan meals, but if she wants to wash dishes HER way, she better wash her dishes by hand since the dishwasher is "contaminated"!
This hit close to home. My mom just started a vegan diet and tried forcing on me and being passive aggressive to sometimes straight aggressive when trying to convince me. I told my mom I loved that it was working for her but I'm purposely eating the way I do to maintain my current weight. My boundary is when I'm expected to just go with it because it works for one person. Vegans not for everyone, so that boundary she pushed a lot.
I saw a couple comments about how bad meat is for the modern human and I just gotta... Oh word.... No. It's not. Meat is literally the most efficient way for your body to get all of the nutrients it needs to function. Sure some of the meat harvesting practices we have are inhumane and unsustainable, but don't come at me with your misinformation about meat being bad for you. If you want a solid argument on this, go check out the Beyond Meat debate that Oxford held.
So I'll be that person first real quick. That right there is why most people are wary of vegans. Your teen daughter is one thing but having some total stranger trying to preach and dictate to you is beyond obnoxious and I can't even recall a single vegan post online I've read where they didn't spend a large amount of the post shaming omnivores. Yeah, get her her own stuff. She can get her own mini fridge even to keep her stuff away from the 'tainted fridge' LMAO. Dad is doing awesome with this. Hopefully she'll chill out about it because going out in the world people aren't going to be half as willing to humor let alone accommodate her, especially if she keeps that level of pushiness most vegans have.
I went vegetarian at 14 and if I'd asked my parents to give up meat I'd have been laughed out of the house. My diet choice, not their problem which is fair.
This comes down to p**s poor parenting. When she has her own job and her own apartment then she could be as vegan as she wants.
Firstly, pls dont call peeps bad parents its not like ur given a user manual for ur specific kid so just dont.... secondly, ya the kid can by her own pans, her own dishwasher, and be her vegan self lol
Load More Replies...Here is part of the problem. In the future, this attitude will be super difficult to live with. For example, if this daughter works at a large company, exoecting the kitchen/ staff room to be meat free would both near impossible, but also unreasonable. Plus, i don't know of any vegan/ meat free (true) grocery store. Thos girl needs to learn that the world won't cater to her veganism the way she expects her parents to at home. Maybe she will realize this once she becomes an adult....but if not, shexis likely in for a rude awakening
She's a snot-nosed teenager. You shut that mess down saying, "Well, you can always get a job, move into your own place and make your OWN house rules, or stay here and buy your OWN food, but if you don't pay us a salary, you don't get to tell us what to do here." That's it, that's how you shut them down with the nonsense. Raised three daughters and have three teen grandsons, so I know.
The girl is 14 people! Hello? In 6 months she'll change her mind and want meat again! If not get her a little fridge of her own! I agree with dad. It's your house, you eat meat and she has to till now Making a few changes for her is great but as far as changing ur life around on a whim is ridiculous!
NTA.. first off your the adult. You have accommodated your child to the extreme. Now it's time she accommodate in return. She needs to learn the fine art of compromise. Get her a special color sponge to match her special color pots and pans. Then get you some nice pretty colored tape. Mark of a section of the fridge that is strictly vegan. No meat will be in that area or be allowed to drop there. She need to make her own meals that are vegan unless everyone is having vegan for the meal. You have been exceptional in dealing with the life changes of your child. Kudos for the effort. Just remember your still a parent that needs to make sure their child is not a vegan Karen.
Just curious, does the girl in the plastic bubble share classrooms with non vegans? Car rides? Social events? Bars of soap? She needs to get over herself.
This is what happens when you raise children to be entitled. A food allergy is much different then moral or a dislike of foods. If it were my kids, they would very simply be washing their own dishes in the sink. If parents allow their kids to run a house then this is the kind of c**p that happens. She is 14. Old enough to babysit, or do lawncare, clean houses etc for cash. In all likelihood, she doesn't know how to eat vegan/vegetarian properly to begin with. Most don't at that age. You can't just cut meat/dairy out and keep healthy very long. Time for girl to start getting some jobs to support her proper diet. I hope the dad (and the mother) teach her properly. Starting with, washing her own dishes. Maybe for Xmas or a birthday she can ask for monetary contributions for her own mini fridge to be put in her room. Or gawd for bid, she earns her own cash to buy one. They aren't expensive
This child is suddenly entitled to think that the home is hers and she has say over what goes in it regarding foods and other things. She needs to learn to do for herself then and wash her own dishes.
This kid is going to have to learn to live with carnivores. No one out in the world is going to accommodate her to this extent. It's better she learns that it's not all about her now instead of when she's that person at work who is going to HR to demand a vegan office because someone had a bacon cheeseburger for lunch and then touched something.
14 is hard. Vegan in a meat household is hard, and so is meat in a vegan household. Remember that when we learn a new thing by ourselves rather than have someone just tell us, our brains encode that as "more true", even when it's completely wrong. Sign the two of you up for a nutrition class. Because one thing that isn't hard is to be vegan wrong and become malnourished. Tell her you want to learn how to better accommodate her, which you will. And she will learn that "contamination" from touching the fridge or eating in the same room or using the same dishwasher is BS. But never point that out; let her learn it. Even if this ends up being a phase, a nutrition class is never a waste.
This behavior is why so many people hate vegans, "veganazi" is what I like to call it. Tell her to shut it until she owns her own home, then she can make the rules. She's also being delusional "contaminated dishwasher"? Maybe she should see a counselor, because that's way over the top.
NTA but sometimes kids (and 14 is still a kid) misunderstand things as they grow up and try to learn how to "adult" for themselves. In my household it was merry misunderstanding about alcohol. My 16 year old and I decided buy a few kitchen things. They bought a blender bc they wanted to make smoothies and eventually take it to college later. Until then it was fine for me to use it. Until I had friends over and brought out the margarita mix. Well, now, it was contaminated and they couldn't possibly use it ever again. I know obviously how they feel about alcohol and how it tastes! They orated dramatically. (Their previous experience was a bit of wine at a religious service and an unpleasant runin with a drunk relative who was uncouth with their language and questions before they were escorted from a family gathering. I had to put on a serious face and explain that a thorough cleaning would take care of any residual tequila and I would not be replacing the blender.
When Princess is paying the bills, THEN she gets to decide what others eat.
Still doesn't give her the right to dictate what others eat. Can I tell you what to eat? I work and pay bills
Load More Replies...Get her a mini fridge and also tell her sternly to shut the hellup. She is pissing and moaning about respect, it goes both ways. He's been accommodating but she needs to reciprocate, she's not so far so she's The ahole
Oh please, how ridiculous. It boggles my mind that it would get to the point where you would have to question the parenting. Not a wonderful father at all. He raised an entitled brat who didn't nip it in the bud early enough. Listening and respecting a child's opinion is one thing, but being railroaded by them is another. When they are in their own house paying for their own food, they can live the lifestyle they want to live. The only thing that is being taught is that everyone needs to cater to her wishes and not to be accommodating to anyone else's.
She's 14~~they're all entitled at that age. Each one picks their hill to die upon, and this one hit it with attempting to control the food choices of others. The lame parent in this is Mom. Cook meat at the grandparents? Who actually believes that is gonna fly with *them*? Cook your food in your own damn house and give your brat a swat on the rump!
Load More Replies...I knew a vegan couple that had a daughter They didn’t even force their daughter to stick to a vegan diet. She was invited to my daughter’s birthday party one year and I made sure to have a veggie tray with an oil based dip (the party place limited what outside food could be brought in. I didn’t think about the fact that my homemade cupcakes contained egg. When the daughter asked, I felt so bad! I wanted her to be included! Both of her parents smiled and told her she was more than welcome to have a cupcake, and even assured her she could have a slice of cheese pizza.
The child is spoiled. Until I bought and cooked my own food, I ate what was set in front of me or I ate nothing. In the current economic climate, it is an extreme and dangerous accomodations to enlarge an already suffering budget.
It's a stage nearly all teenagers go through. They are still used to the childhood phase when everything seems to focus on them. It's the old life lessons of the world does not revolve around you, and learning that you don't know as much as you think you do. It will ease off, although most people don't completely outgrow it until thier late 20s . At 18 I thought I knew all I needed to and was a complete adult, ten years later I realized how much of a kid I still was at 18. She could use a reminder that while it's her home it is not in fact her house and until she pays the bills she has no authority to make any rules for the household, and never will hold the authority to boss her parents around. No matter how old you get your parents are still older than you. Unfortunately most of us have to learn all of this the hard way. (I know I did).
Even though I'm a vegan myself I do not think the Dad is over reacting. At the end of the day he's the parent and she's still the child/teen. I do suggest the parents watch "What the Health" on Netflix to learn a little from where her daughter is coming from. Even then the daughter has to compromise because not everyone is vegan and has to learn how to live with everyone.
My brother did this, only much worse. He became a vegetarian as a teenager and banned my mom and me from eating meat. Period. My mom was divorced so it was just the three of us and she didnt know how to parent a willful teenager I guess. So we weren't "allowed" to eat meat and if he caught us he wkould go on a tirade. He was probably 16 or 17. My mom went along with it and when she wanted to eat meat she drove to a fast food place and ate it in the car. Yep, for real. The result: I became a vegetarian because I actually did see the moral reasons for it, my mom was one off and on throughout her life, and my spoiled tyrannical brother was a vegetarian for years until he met a meat eating woman and she convinced him it was healthy to eat meat, lol. The larger issue is that because he was allowed to force his will on my mom and me (I was his younger sister), he became more and more aggressive and would scream and hit me when he didn't get his way. We are no longer in contact.
This reminds me of a vegan I work with. He was mostly sane and not too pushy - unless we were the only ones at the table (i.e. the meat-eating guy who was twice his size wasn't there). Anyway, I've seen him eating chocolate cupcakes lately - I'm pretty sure they're not vegan. I've been tempted to ask him, but I'm afraid it means he got divorced from his "perfect" wife...well, that and I don't want another lecture about foods he doesn't approve of.
Definitely NTA, it’s your house, her home but your house. When she moves into her own house she can make the rules. I have multiple life threatening food allergies and food sensitivities and the only food not allowed in my house is peanuts. Dishwashers with high enough temp and cleaned regular is safe for CC. Living this life for 12 years and never had an issue with dishes cleaned and sanitized in the dishwasher. Ask her if this means she’ll never go out to eat? No restaurant unless strictly vegan is going to accommodate or tolerate her outbursts. A good compromise as far as fridge, make one self and one draw completely meat free. Store meat on the bottom shelf with a liner so no juice runs out and gets on anything below it. Tell her to feel free to save her money for a small college dorm size refrigerator for her vegan foods.I do love the suggestion someone had about special sponges for her too wash her own dishes. Definitely no need to leave your house to eat meat. Ridiculous
NTA, and OP she is being f*****g ridiculous. My mom doesn't like certain foods, so she just goes somewhere else without fussing, and lives with the rest of the household, full of people who are fine with meat.
NTA. The kid is TA. My mom doesn't eat beef and instead of just buying it for us with every grocery trip,she makes it a treat. She only buys chicken because it goes with her meal plan. It's bogus. Stop forcing everyone else to eat what you eat. A
It's time to set some boundaries here. You've been supportive of her personal choices. It's a two way street. She needs to be supportive and respectful of your choices. I worked with a vegan. He'd take us to lunch at Vegan restaurants. Oddly, he would never go to non-vegan restaurants. It's indoctrination to some extent. Put the brakes on it now before it gets out of hand and your daughter thinks she has the right to make all your decisions. She's just a kid with limited experience. She has a lot to learn and experience still.
As a long time vegetarian who has spent like 20 years working in restaurants, I feel this dad should really inform his daughter about how she can never eat in restaurants again, because it is borderline impossible to get a meat-eating cook to give even the slightest amount of respect or care to the "vegan" dish they just ordered. Vegan with butter, and whatever else happened to be stuck on the grill when they started. Greasy bacon fingers on the fridge door? Try greasy bacon fingers in the spinach. And I live in the Pacific Northwest, which is way more vegan friendly than the Midwest, I can't even imagine how little Midwestern cooks care about your dietary restrictions.
How do you know if someone is vegan ?? They tell you, again, and again, and again...
I kind of feel like she may not be successful as a vegan right now because of her attitude. I don’t think it’s right to ridicule other people her father purchased her set of pots and pans I’m sure she has other things but to demand they stop eating meat is wrong. Let that be.a choice they want to do.
I remember when my younger sis and I were teens (have two younger sisters, one is 2 years you get and the other is 10 years younger). My tastes and likes were different from the rest of the fam and my younger sis was more health conscious. Parents told us either we learn to cook for ourselves, eat what was placed before us, or wait till we moved out to eat what we wanted. Those were the only options. In my case I cooked the meat to my liking (only one in the whole fam who likes it well done). Top it off, had food allergies developing (though didn't understand it very well 30 years ago at 15) so dealing with fruits and veggies were an unpleasant experience. As for my younger sister, she went kosher. She didn't convert from Christian to Jewish though. --- if we were unhappy with what was cooked, that was that. Meaning go to bed without supper. Parents weren't moneybags to squander away on food selection and picky eaters.
There might be more going on here than just wanting to be vegan, sounds like a kind of OCD... I also have this as part of overall OCD but not to this extreme! I can't touch raw meat or even the outside packaging sometimes, it has to be on its own shelf in the fridge as well... I do eat meat though it's just the raw part that scares me for reasons I have no idea of...
That's what was worrying me. This level of extreme suggests "purity" issues rather than actual cross contamination. Difficult to say whether it's normal stroppy teen, or the beginning of ED or something
Load More Replies...Is 14 too old for the time out chair? Unless she’s the breadwinner who bought the home and pays the bills, she needs to shut up and be happy her parent got her special pots and pans and buy her the vegan food she wants. She needs to learn that everyone is not always going to agree or do things her way, because out in the real world, most people are not going to care whether or not she approves of their diet choices or what her opinion is.
I would say that this girl has very serious problems. And NO, I would NOT humour her. It sounds too, too much like a neurotic problem, so I would seek councelling for all of you.
I'd tell daughter if she wanted a 'meat-free fridge, dishwasher, kitchen' she can get a job, move out and support herself. Until then, she's gonna have to get over herself. She lives with other people who aren't vegan. And who pay all of her bills.
NTA - but I think Mom is. Why the hell would she want to cater to this entitled little brat more than has already? Her own cookware, for cripes sake. Stand your ground! She needs a serious lesson in "the world does NOT revolve around you". My sister & her family are vegan & it has NEVER been a problem. When they come to dinner it's usually spaghetti bolognese, with the Italian sausages on the side or a "build your own" Greek salad where everything but the greens are in separate bowls.
. NTA, and you've compromised enough. Vegan is a choice, not a law, and she has to understand that.
It's really selfish and entitled to think that everyone around you needs to change their diet, especially when you're living in your parents' house. Parents need to be parents and not friends. She had to have gotten that entitlement from somewhere. I was allowed to have my own diet as a kid, likes and dislikes, but I had no authority over my mother and siblings. Nor would I have even cared enough to try to dictate what those around me do.
NTA: if you wanna be vegan fine bur NEVER force it on others especially parents when you live in their home. 10/10 dad for trying to be accommodating. But shes taking advantage of it now. Also as someone from the Midwest (IN to be exact) meat is LIFE there. You can not expect ppl around you to change diets for your personal sake
Well, if she can't stand it, she needs to get the heck out of their house. That is part of the problem today, we are too darn accommodating to stupidity. The fact that someone filled her head with ridiculous notion that being a vegan at 14 is good for her is the first issue. Kids today don't seem to have the where with all to filter BS and are so taken with social media they don't understand firm logic. While plenty folks will point to all sorts of studies about it, they will also ignore the hundreds of countries that are not vegan and live well past 100. They also ignore the health, skin, nails, hair issues that are obvious when someone eats vegan. It is not as simple as just removing animal protein out of your diet; there has to be substitutions that go far beyond "Beyond Meat" products. She wants pans, dishwashers and the sort, let her get a job. She can babysit, work at McD's, KFC and loads of other places. I would also let her buy her own food. That will help this crazy!
Dad needs to break out her pretty cold pans and let her watch him cook meat in every single one of them. When she loses her mind over it, just tell her "I bought these. These are MY pans. This is MY house. You live by MY rules, not the other way around. Now shut your mouth and learn to keep a civil tongue with your parents. "
Ok mom & dad, it's your house and you have the right to cook and eat what you want in your own home. You have gone the extra mile in many ways. I may have missed it but you could get her a small apartment size fridge/freezer for her room for her food. You may still buy her groceries but the rest is up to her. Maybe she goes grocery shopping with you and has her own basket. You already took care of the cooking utensils so you don't use them. She needs to do her own dishes by hand, the way her ancestors did... Or she can except the dishwasher has sanitizer cycle that gets all dishes clean, no cross contamination left on dishes. Have her cook her own food in her own pots and pans. If she wants extreme give her total responsibility for her food, preparation, and clean up. Don't assist her with that. Good luck.
NTA. If your daughter is serious, find a mini fridge and let her put it in her bedroom. That will accomplish 3 things. 1. Since it's "her fridge" there can't be any cross contamination, 2. If she has to get in and out of her fridge to eat, she'll have to keep at least part of her room clean, 😉, and 3. She won't want your bacon greasy hands on her fridge or food, so maybe you give her a food allowance and she starts buying her own tofurkey and bean curd and starts learning about a budget and the actual price of food and cost of living. and you can do your normal shopping and contaminate your own grocery cart, car, and refrigerator with that nasty (MOST DELICIOUS) old bacon to your heart's content. And if she gets really hard up about it, you can salvage the holidays by "letting" her eat her fake food in her room for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And if she plans to go to college, it is best to get the Militant veganism out of her system now, because dorm and dining halls don't care.
Yeah that's ridiculous. I get paranoid about gluten crumbs on the counter but I just wipe them off with a towel and then put a plate between my food and the counter
Someone needs to inform this child that animals are chopped and killed when crops are harvested all the time. She has unwittingly eaten baby deer, many types of small field animals, baby birds, snakes, and an uncountable number worm, grub, and bug parts and pieces.
Someone needs to take you to a slaughterhouse. You will find out real quick that meat eating is disgusting and it is wrong. And no millions of animals aren't getting chopped up when they farm the fields, lol. Most animals leave when they hear the commotion. Most crops are planted for animal feed anyway. We would have much more food if we didn't have to grown so much for the animals to eat. I don't agree with the daughter in the story, but there is NO COMPARISON between a few mice getting accidentally run over by a tractor and billions of cows, chickens and turkeys being slaughtered systematically for you to eat. Most of those animals are in unbelievably bad conditions throughout their short lives too. They're not living in a field. It is a horror movie. Visit a chicken place sometime. You won't eat chicken again after you see the horror. Trust me. It is worse than you can imagine.
Load More Replies...If she is going vegetarian I understand not having meat products mixed with hers. But if going vegan then butter, cheese and other foods are NOT allowed. Either way, it's HER choice not other's. Different pans/cookware, Different cleaning supplies ARE ok. Anything else is trying to control your. You are on the right path. NTA!!
Lol I must be a absolutely slack parent . After living with my partner and catering to his daughters different needs foods wise . Cooking cleaning school errands , I've decided no I cook one meal just one I buy fir a whole family and if any if my daughter's decidd to ho vegan good effort they can buy that expensive stuff when they leave home . Lol massive I live my kids but I am the queen of my house not my kids .
Nta ... She is a 14 year old girl ... You r trying to be accommodating to her new found " diet of choice" ( since she is a teen she might switch her diet again) buy her a sponge and tell her to get the hand washing her stuff ... But to tell u what to do with your fridge and what you can and can't do or eat your house is unacceptable, i would went ham on my child ... She is getting to controlling and you and your enabling wife need to nip that in a bud before it really gets worse ...smh
Your daughter's an idiot. Tell her when she's paying the bills she can make that call. Until then she would respect me or spend a LOT of time in her room with no TV, phone, computer or any electronic devices.
Man she's spoiled... The family is supportive and she still is makeing fuss about non-problems. Give finger and they will take whole hand. Besides, if you are a vegetarian in the meat eating household, than you should be the one adjusting to your family not the other way around.
Out of three adults in the home in/approaching mid-30's I am the one who is probably the biggest meat eater. Wanna know who cooks for my roommate's vegan dad when he comes to visit? ME. The mushroom jerky I tried when he came last I never hope to see again in my life, but amusingly enough I exclusively buy oat creamer now, lol
No, no, no. It’s fine that the kid is vegan, good, great, it’s also fine that she can put her foot down and it’s sort of ok if she’s a bit pìssy about things, being a teenager is hard for almost everybody: but this is the hill he needs to die on, for HER sake. That kind of blind, egofixated demand is something one sometimes get with teenagers but letting them getting away with it is to do them a disservice. The demand is beyond unreasonable and is built on the delusion that she’s the only person in the household with a right to needs and wants, and such behaviour will make life really hard for her if it isn’t halted immediately. Giving her what she needs to be comfortable is naturally the right thing, but letting her totally dismiss what everyone else need to be comfortable is not. I think it’d be wise to inform her - in no uncertain terms - that being egoistic, entitled and aggressive has negative consequences for her, socially and otherwise. I hope it panned out that way.
Shes going to have to use disposable plates, bc she cant wash the dishes by hand either. Hands are....made of meat! 😅
I'm not gonna say the dad has gone "above and beyond" here. He responded to a lifestyle choice his daughter made in a supportive and understanding way, ie what you're supposed to do as a parent. I will say that he did better than most people who won't even do the bare minimum and was kind enough to get her her own set of pans which is technically above but still not beyond, and finally I will say that the daughter is very much in the wrong here. She is trying to improve herself by exploring a new lifestyle and that is fine but you cannot under any circumstances demand that people follow your way of life, if the president suddenly declared that the color blue is now banned because they hate that color there would be riots across the country
If my kids pulled this I would love the opportunity to stop cooking and start enjoying their vegan meals that they prepared. And complain loud and long if it wasn't delicious I'm the A$$hole.
This entitlement generation is unbelievable, do not and I repeat do not give in to her if you do it’s not gonna stop at her being a vegan and trying to push her beliefs about veganism on you, it’s gonna go a lot further than that, Lord knows what she’s going to expect next and your wife is an enabler, why in the world would a man or a woman for that matter that have a home and a child the emphasis is here child, completely and totally change their eating habits and living habits and cooking habits to accommodate a child, stop now or you are going to regret it for the rest of your life.
I stop reading when someone labels an entire generation.
Load More Replies...You've been accomodating, so now it's time to set some boundries - there will be non-vegan products in the home. The "vegan sponge" is a good idea - build on it; help her come up with strategies that allow her to control her exposure to meat, but don't allow her to cross boundries by forcing unreasonable accomodations on others. For the fridge, instead of banning meat, how about having separate shelf or drawer for meat items or consider an opaque tupperware or something that you can put meat in so she doesn't need to see it in. Something else that you and your wife need to be aware of, is that your daughter may have, or be on the verge of developing, an eating disorder. Eating disorders are not limited to anorexia and bulemia with their focus on calories and weight. Other eating disorders can focus around ideas of cleanliness, purity, or some other good/bad categorisation. Being highly controlling about food is a warning sign, so read up on EDNOS, and how to help her.
Meat is the house norm. She can have a drawer for her vegan items.
Load More Replies...Honestly, I'm not vegan, and I don't agree with vegans, but from their perspective, everyone around them is just casually committing murder while they're just supposed to accept it.
Ok, but... So what? Is everyone else supposed to just change their lifestyle because the vegan says so?
Load More Replies...I know she acts like a moron and as a parent I would have done the same as her father. But still, do we need the int to discuss the strange behavior of a 14 year old girl?
Her father is looking for validation and insight, so yes. The internet is needed for what he requires.
Load More Replies...I have similar things going on in my class, this isn’t as much but just a side or, as much as I support lgbtq there’s three things I d on like: a: people who change races in sports (as much as I hate to say it so I’m wording it this way (and trust me I’m not saying they are not superior as my sister can hit a softball a record of 50 meters out of the park, and I’ve never beat her in a fight) it is unfair to the competition, b when people get extremely mad the first time you meet them that you got their pronouns incorrect (a simple reminder is fine, just it’s hard when someone yells @ you for it) and C: I forgot I’ll add it as an edit if I remember
This is why I f*****g hate vegans. They always want to push their beliefs onto other people, they're never content with just doing it for themselves...people either join them in their self-righteous crusade or they'll whine about it until they do. Screw vegans...I'm heading out & getting some burgers just to spite them. What jerks. XD
This is why I f*****g hate vegans. They always want to push their beliefs onto other people, they're never content with just doing it for themselves...people either join them in their self-righteous crusade or they'll whine about it until they do. Screw vegans...I'm heading out & getting some burgers just to spite them. XD
Don't let the little sob republican push you around. Eat the biggest steak you can get your hands on right in front of her
The parents are week and intimated by their daughter!!!! In my house she would starve, you eat what is made !!! That was ingrained by my grandparents and parents!!!!!!! And we all survived just fine!!!! And the HIT YOU IF YOU TALKED BACK!!!!!
While I agree that she is being overdramatic, for people saying that "you can't force your lifestyle on other people", would you say the same about slavery? People back then probably said the same things about people who were against slavery that you're saying about this girl now. Now we would celebrate people that were against slavery back then. People in 100 years or so will probably look back on us eating meat the same way that we look back on people who practiced slavery. Maybe in the future, people like this girl will be celebrated, like the Rosa Parks of the world. Just something to think about. *Now, before anyone accuses me of saying that eating meat is as bad as slavery (because there are always people like that), I'm not saying that they are the same but that both are moral and social issues.
I just say screw with the daughter wants don't give into any of her wins now don't buy her any vegan special food or anything tell her to go get a job and buy it for herself or she can eat what is prepared. Tell her she wants to go full weekend do it when she leaves your house that you're not going to cater to it. And only do that because she wanted to get unreasonablely demanding when she has no power and no say because she's just a kid she doesn't pay nothing she doesn't do nothing she gets no say it's just like with these women out there that want to say that men have to conform to this this this in order to be with him they get no d**k
You lost me at MORE EXPENSIVE. And SUBSTITUTES for(?) Substitute CHICKEN NUGGETS? Substitute MEAT? When she starts talking about contamination you do need to consider if she still shows a healthy relationship with food consumption. If she won't eat in a communal kitchen you may be dealing with an eating disorder.
It is one thing to self determine one's own diet. However, it seems more than just a stretch to try to impose these dietary habits on others. I do have vegan friends and one in particular that is borderline fanatical about it. Initially, I held my ground on her claims but over time she won me over to her view in a lot of ways. I tried some vegan items and to my surprise it was quite tasty. This is not to say I became a vegan but rather I began to see her point on many things. The inhuman ways animals are sometimes kept in tiny cages with many chickens in there. The enormous amount of farmland dedicated to feeding cattle instead of producing fruits, veggies, nuts etc. And the alleged negative affect the passing of gases from vast herds of cattle etc has on our environment. I am not a vegan but now I understand the reason for some of their passion like the plight of the whales, dolphins etc. I done't always agree but I respect their position.
Meat is meat. You're going on about cultural taboos. If you don't like it, then move on. Don't stay there, don't use a 'tainted' stove, and you certainly don't have the right to harass your friends about it. By the way, how many times did they cook liver, gizzards, kidneys, brains (though not technically a 'gut' item, I figure it would be on your list), etc? Not many folk do, unless they like folk/farm recipes where every bit of the critter is used. The point is, you don't get to determine how people live their lives, just as we don't have the right to screw with yours.
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