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Mom Attempts To Lecture Her Kid By Using A Person With Dwarfism As A Threat, It Backfires When The Person Speaks Up
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Mom Attempts To Lecture Her Kid By Using A Person With Dwarfism As A Threat, It Backfires When The Person Speaks Up

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It’s always important for parents to teach their children that there are a wide variety of people on this planet. Kids should be educated on different cultures, different races and nationalities, people with physical and mental disabilities and more. Someone may look or act differently than you do, but we should celebrate their unique qualities, rather than respond to them with confusion or judgment. But, unfortunately, sometimes parents themselves could use a refresher on their manners and a reminder not to use people as props…

One man who has dwarfism recently hopped on Reddit to share his frustration with parents using him as a teaching tool. Below, you can read his full explanation of why this is wrong, as well as the story of a recent encounter he had with a mother where he responded with a sweet taste of “petty revenge”.

Keep reading to also find an interview between the man who shared this story and Bored Panda. Then, we would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments, pandas. And if you’ve ever had strangers try to use you as a “parenting tool”, feel free to share your infuriating experiences with that as well!

Frustrated with parents trying to use him as a teaching tool, this man with dwarfism hopped online to share a tale of sweet, petty revenge

Image credits: Brett Sayles (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Leo Arslan (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: KE ATLAS (not the actual photo)

Image credits: windmillto

The man later continued the conversation in the replies, answering further questions and responding to encounters readers have had

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Parents just want what’s best for their children, and sometimes they have to come up with creative ways to resolve conflicts or motivate their little ones to behave. But pointing out a person with dwarfism and making up some lies about them to fit their own narrative is extremely problematic. There are countless other ways this mother could have gone about getting her son to listen to her that did not involve dragging an innocent stranger into their conversation and teaching her son that Little People are actually Santa’s elves. 

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We reached out to the man who shared this story online, Reddit user Windmillto, to hear how often he has encounters like this in public. Unfortunately, he told Bored Panda that parents attempt to use him as a teaching tool about once or twice a month, but apparently, he has an incredible amount of patience for people. “I’ve never personally responded to rude comments in public before that time, but my boyfriend sometimes does if he’s with me,” he shared. “He’s 6 foot 3, so once he told someone I donated some of my height to him.

“My mom, who is also short statured, is the queen of dealing with staring and rude comments,” he added.” She pretends she’s famous and offers pictures/autographs and pretends the rude people are just haters.” I guess a great sense of humor runs in the family!

We also asked Windmillto if there was anything he wanted to share with parents who treat him like this in public. “I understand that I look different, and I understand people being surprised or taken aback, but I’m still a person,” he shared. “How would you feel if someone acted that way towards you? Or your child? It’s hard to have empathy for every random person you encounter, but it’s important to try, especially if you’re being a role model to your kids in that moment.”

“Kids who stare and ask questions are fine,” Windmillto added. “Kids have never been anything but genuinely curious, they’ve never been outright rude. Adults, on the other hand… I guess it shows how much ableism is taught to us rather than us being born with it.”

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Although this mother might not encounter people with dwarfism very often, that is absolutely no excuse for being rude or treating them differently. According to Understanding Dwarfism, there are about 30,000 people in the United States and about 651,700 people in the world who have dwarfism. There are also more than 200 different types of dwarfism. And while people like this woman have probably never considered the fact that they could one day have a child of their own with dwarfism, it’s never out of the realm of possibilities. In fact, 80% of people with dwarfism are born to average sized parents. It’s important for all of us to remember that no one, regardless of their height, race, age, etc. should be used as a prop for “mommy’s life lessons”, and as Windmillto noted, nobody likes to be treated differently. 

Though this encounter began with a mother trying to teach her son a lesson, I hope it ended with the mom learning a lesson about her own behavior. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation below, pandas. Have you ever had to respond to a stranger after they tried to use you as a teaching tool? Or how would you have reacted if you had been in this man’s situation? Remember that it’s always a great time to teach our children life lessons, but hopefully, the one Hunter learned here is that his mommy needs to keep her mouth shut sometimes. 

Many people applauded the man for his “petty revenge” and shared some of their similar stories of their own

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boredpanda_127 avatar
Allie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Because the world would be very boring if everyone looked the same" was my go-to response when my kids were little and pointed out how someone looked different from them. It was the answer they needed because it never led to follow up questions.

khalil_3 avatar
Isaac Fritz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I moved to Taiwan about 11 years ago. I’m a big hairy white guy with a very red beard. Some kids stare, but what gets me is when I’m in a elevator or something and it’s not the kids who usually comment. It’s the freaking parents. They tap on the kids shoulder, point, and say something about the foreigner (WaiGuoRen). The worst is whe they say that about my kids. They were both born here and are fluent in both English and Chinese (I have passable Chinese). I do enjoy correcting those parents in Chinese. Embarrasses the hell out of them.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband is a big hairy white dude. When he went to Japan, he stood out like a sore thumb. Problem was, he was on a student exchange program to learn to speak Japanese, but because of his appearance, all the students saw was "American" and would come up to him to practice their English. He finally made a deal with them...they say what they wanted to him in English and he would respond in Japanese. That way they each got what they wanted.

Load More Replies...
rpepperpot avatar
The Other Guest
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And this is one reason why good representation matters. How many of these awkward situations be curtailed if kids grow up seeing different types of people in their picture books, children's TV shows, movies, etc.?

lauramg avatar
Laura MG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I worked retail for many years and moms (primarily) would tell their misbehaving kids something like "you better be good or this lady will make us leave the store!" and I'd smile at the kid and say "no I won't, that isn't MY job" 😁

phantasteek avatar
ChickyChicky
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Geez. I told my kids if they misbehaved I would take them out of the store. They're my responsibility. What a subtle thing that means a lot over time.

Load More Replies...
blue1steven avatar
Donkey boi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister had to nip into work one weekend to pick something up. She took her daughter along because it was only going to take a moment or 2. When she got in the building she bumped into her boss, a man with dwarfism. My 4yo niece asked him, "Do people pick you up and throw you?", he responded, "Erm... No" so my niece continued, "Well if I was big enough, I wouldn't want to throw you. I'd want to hug you all the time!"

mariebenveniste avatar
Marie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m a tall woman who occasionally gets asked, “Do you play basketball?” My stock response is, “No, do you play miniature golf?”

anxietyriddenwife avatar
Carla Phillips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish I had the mind I have now when my daughter was little. All the teachable moments lost to shhh, don't be rude. If only I could do it all over again

jefbateman avatar
Jef Bateman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a teenager, I was waiting in line at the lay-away line at Sears as a favor for my grandmother. I was right behind a man with dwarfism. It was holiday season, and the guy struck up a conversation with me about how much he hates the holidays. He was SO BITTER, but hilarious. I can't remember much of what he said, but I do remember I was actually laughing until I cried. I think having this different perspective on things gives you an opportunity to develop your sense of humor.

charlotteparis1982 avatar
Charlotte
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always told my son to simply ask the person (politely). This allows the other person to choose the explanation they are most comfortable with, taught my son to never be afraid to ask questions, and let me off the hook trying to explain something I often didn't know. Someone can be in a wheelchair for lots of reasons. I'd rather he gets the truth than mere speculation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

vera_modric avatar
VM37
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had a talk about her cousin with autisam, her kindergarden friend with Down sindrom, people with phisical disabilaty. Not yet people with dwarfism. She (6) accepted all that well. It helped that she spent some time this summer with her 14yo cousin with autisam. Our go to answer is that people are just different and that all these kids are our friends and we need to help them when we can

vishwajeetsatpute avatar
Vishy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bored Panda use this platform to educate people on Dwarfism. Some of us will learn to teach their kids to ask proper questions. But it's sad the way people respond.

shawngula avatar
SmooshyFries
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My girls when 3 and 5 years old were looking a man who had dwarfism when we were at the mall. As we got closer my 5 year old asked me why he looked like a man but was the size of a kid. I told her he is that size because he got to awesome really quick and didn't need to be any bigger! My daughter said Wow, thats cool! and the guy laughed at my answer since he was close enough to hear all of it

cb_3 avatar
cb !!!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom loves telling the story of when I was three or four, obsessed with pirates, and I saw a woman with an eye patch. I somehow escaped my mother's watch for a few seconds, just to very quietly sneak into this woman's line of sight and whisper "are you a real pirate?". My mom was mortified but the woman was a good sport about it and said "arr" and did a hook motion with her hand. I was overjoyed. Thankfully she didn't take any offense, because it makes for a nice story now.

aznyheim avatar
Annie Persson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandmother was born with very brittle bones (osteogenesis imperfecta), and because of this she was tiny. She used to tell me that "quality comes in small packages"

alicialwells avatar
Coffee_nut45?
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a rather large woman. Many times when I am in the store small children will ask their parents or say rather loudly why is she so fat? A lot of times the parents get all embarrassed and try to hush their child but I always approach the child. My answer is always the same. "When I was little like you, I did not like to eat vegetables and I ate a lot of candy and potato chips and other junk food instead. And I did that my whole life now I'm fat and it's my own fault." Most parents will look at me gratefully and say thank you. I always feel that if a child has a genuine question they deserve a genuine answer regardless of how embarrassing the question might be for me.

olivia_331 avatar
Via Hawk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being fat is also not a bad thing. I can’t really put this into words, but unless you are dangerously overweight, being chubby is more healthy than the spaghetti sized waists that society has normalized. I’m not just saying this to make you happy, I genuinely think that being fat shouldn’t be an insecurity or an insult or anything people should be all hush-hush about. I personally am underweight and sometimes I would MUCH rather be fat than be so skinny. Sometimes I even wish I was chubby.

Load More Replies...
olivia_331 avatar
Via Hawk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There have been multiple times I’ve seen people with deformations or genetic disorders and I really really want to ask them about it, but I don’t wanna come off as rude… it happens surprisingly often. I guess I’m just weird idk

pass_nad avatar
Nadine Debard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess it's different when you're an adult asking questions, but that's just my point. I would feel rude asking.

Load More Replies...
cassiewilliams avatar
Cassie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids will ask about a lot of different features. After enough of these questions from mine, I just had the standard, "People come in lots of shapes, sizes, and colors".

joannboyd avatar
JoJoB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks for the lesson in appropriate responses. Sometimes I'd like to ask a question, and I'm learning that's better than pretending not to notice differences.

victortrejo avatar
Victor Trejo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can a native English speaker explain the phrase about being shrank in the wash? What is this "wash"?

miablack avatar
Mia Black
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am not a native english speak er but i think they meant washing Maschine. You know, some things like wool or Jeans can shrink in Hot water (as in the washing Maschine)

Load More Replies...
boredpanda_127 avatar
Allie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Because the world would be very boring if everyone looked the same" was my go-to response when my kids were little and pointed out how someone looked different from them. It was the answer they needed because it never led to follow up questions.

khalil_3 avatar
Isaac Fritz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I moved to Taiwan about 11 years ago. I’m a big hairy white guy with a very red beard. Some kids stare, but what gets me is when I’m in a elevator or something and it’s not the kids who usually comment. It’s the freaking parents. They tap on the kids shoulder, point, and say something about the foreigner (WaiGuoRen). The worst is whe they say that about my kids. They were both born here and are fluent in both English and Chinese (I have passable Chinese). I do enjoy correcting those parents in Chinese. Embarrasses the hell out of them.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband is a big hairy white dude. When he went to Japan, he stood out like a sore thumb. Problem was, he was on a student exchange program to learn to speak Japanese, but because of his appearance, all the students saw was "American" and would come up to him to practice their English. He finally made a deal with them...they say what they wanted to him in English and he would respond in Japanese. That way they each got what they wanted.

Load More Replies...
rpepperpot avatar
The Other Guest
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And this is one reason why good representation matters. How many of these awkward situations be curtailed if kids grow up seeing different types of people in their picture books, children's TV shows, movies, etc.?

lauramg avatar
Laura MG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I worked retail for many years and moms (primarily) would tell their misbehaving kids something like "you better be good or this lady will make us leave the store!" and I'd smile at the kid and say "no I won't, that isn't MY job" 😁

phantasteek avatar
ChickyChicky
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Geez. I told my kids if they misbehaved I would take them out of the store. They're my responsibility. What a subtle thing that means a lot over time.

Load More Replies...
blue1steven avatar
Donkey boi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister had to nip into work one weekend to pick something up. She took her daughter along because it was only going to take a moment or 2. When she got in the building she bumped into her boss, a man with dwarfism. My 4yo niece asked him, "Do people pick you up and throw you?", he responded, "Erm... No" so my niece continued, "Well if I was big enough, I wouldn't want to throw you. I'd want to hug you all the time!"

mariebenveniste avatar
Marie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m a tall woman who occasionally gets asked, “Do you play basketball?” My stock response is, “No, do you play miniature golf?”

anxietyriddenwife avatar
Carla Phillips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish I had the mind I have now when my daughter was little. All the teachable moments lost to shhh, don't be rude. If only I could do it all over again

jefbateman avatar
Jef Bateman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a teenager, I was waiting in line at the lay-away line at Sears as a favor for my grandmother. I was right behind a man with dwarfism. It was holiday season, and the guy struck up a conversation with me about how much he hates the holidays. He was SO BITTER, but hilarious. I can't remember much of what he said, but I do remember I was actually laughing until I cried. I think having this different perspective on things gives you an opportunity to develop your sense of humor.

charlotteparis1982 avatar
Charlotte
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always told my son to simply ask the person (politely). This allows the other person to choose the explanation they are most comfortable with, taught my son to never be afraid to ask questions, and let me off the hook trying to explain something I often didn't know. Someone can be in a wheelchair for lots of reasons. I'd rather he gets the truth than mere speculation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

vera_modric avatar
VM37
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had a talk about her cousin with autisam, her kindergarden friend with Down sindrom, people with phisical disabilaty. Not yet people with dwarfism. She (6) accepted all that well. It helped that she spent some time this summer with her 14yo cousin with autisam. Our go to answer is that people are just different and that all these kids are our friends and we need to help them when we can

vishwajeetsatpute avatar
Vishy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bored Panda use this platform to educate people on Dwarfism. Some of us will learn to teach their kids to ask proper questions. But it's sad the way people respond.

shawngula avatar
SmooshyFries
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My girls when 3 and 5 years old were looking a man who had dwarfism when we were at the mall. As we got closer my 5 year old asked me why he looked like a man but was the size of a kid. I told her he is that size because he got to awesome really quick and didn't need to be any bigger! My daughter said Wow, thats cool! and the guy laughed at my answer since he was close enough to hear all of it

cb_3 avatar
cb !!!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom loves telling the story of when I was three or four, obsessed with pirates, and I saw a woman with an eye patch. I somehow escaped my mother's watch for a few seconds, just to very quietly sneak into this woman's line of sight and whisper "are you a real pirate?". My mom was mortified but the woman was a good sport about it and said "arr" and did a hook motion with her hand. I was overjoyed. Thankfully she didn't take any offense, because it makes for a nice story now.

aznyheim avatar
Annie Persson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandmother was born with very brittle bones (osteogenesis imperfecta), and because of this she was tiny. She used to tell me that "quality comes in small packages"

alicialwells avatar
Coffee_nut45?
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a rather large woman. Many times when I am in the store small children will ask their parents or say rather loudly why is she so fat? A lot of times the parents get all embarrassed and try to hush their child but I always approach the child. My answer is always the same. "When I was little like you, I did not like to eat vegetables and I ate a lot of candy and potato chips and other junk food instead. And I did that my whole life now I'm fat and it's my own fault." Most parents will look at me gratefully and say thank you. I always feel that if a child has a genuine question they deserve a genuine answer regardless of how embarrassing the question might be for me.

olivia_331 avatar
Via Hawk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being fat is also not a bad thing. I can’t really put this into words, but unless you are dangerously overweight, being chubby is more healthy than the spaghetti sized waists that society has normalized. I’m not just saying this to make you happy, I genuinely think that being fat shouldn’t be an insecurity or an insult or anything people should be all hush-hush about. I personally am underweight and sometimes I would MUCH rather be fat than be so skinny. Sometimes I even wish I was chubby.

Load More Replies...
olivia_331 avatar
Via Hawk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There have been multiple times I’ve seen people with deformations or genetic disorders and I really really want to ask them about it, but I don’t wanna come off as rude… it happens surprisingly often. I guess I’m just weird idk

pass_nad avatar
Nadine Debard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess it's different when you're an adult asking questions, but that's just my point. I would feel rude asking.

Load More Replies...
cassiewilliams avatar
Cassie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids will ask about a lot of different features. After enough of these questions from mine, I just had the standard, "People come in lots of shapes, sizes, and colors".

joannboyd avatar
JoJoB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks for the lesson in appropriate responses. Sometimes I'd like to ask a question, and I'm learning that's better than pretending not to notice differences.

victortrejo avatar
Victor Trejo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can a native English speaker explain the phrase about being shrank in the wash? What is this "wash"?

miablack avatar
Mia Black
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am not a native english speak er but i think they meant washing Maschine. You know, some things like wool or Jeans can shrink in Hot water (as in the washing Maschine)

Load More Replies...
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