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Wife Hijacks Husband’s Car To Leave A Family Party Because He Tricked Her Into Coming To The BBQ Even Though She Had A Shift At Work
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Wife Hijacks Husband’s Car To Leave A Family Party Because He Tricked Her Into Coming To The BBQ Even Though She Had A Shift At Work

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An old English proverb says that all’s fair in love and war. The second part of this proverb has been used too often in world history, so that the first part is almost lost – and in fact, it often causes a lot of family problems.

You probably know how it happens – when a person wants something so much which they consider good for a loved one that sometimes they do not even ask the second person’s own opinion. The very wording: “I just want the best for you!” actually causes a lot of trouble, derailing a number of families.

We hope that the family of the author of the original AITA Reddit post will somehow do well after the story that the woman told, while gaining 19.1K upvotes and 4.3K different comments. However, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

More info: Reddit

The original poster works as a nurse and is really keen on her work

Image credits: Tony Alter (not the actual image)

So, the Original Poster works as a nurse and has a very busy schedule, especially in the last few years, which is not surprising – in recent years, the vast majority of the world’s medical industry have been working in a completely emergency mode. However, the OP seems to be quite satisfied with her work.

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Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

The OP’s husband likes to spend his spare time with his relatives at their ranch

At the same time, her husband is a different type of person. He does an office job and spends all his free time with his family. And not only with his own wife, but also with numerous relatives. The OP’s husband’s family lives on a ranch far enough away from them that getting there is quite a hassle.

Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

In general, despite the fact that the husband constantly invites the OP to all sorts of family events with his relatives, by hook or by crook, she sometimes tries to avoid visiting. True, as the woman admits, she always tries to attend really big and important meetings.

Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

The OP’s husband almost begged her to join him at his family’s BBQ party but she had her work shift to do

Last week, the OP’s husband’s in-laws were having a big BBQ party and of course, invited the couple. The husband really wanted her to go with him – after all, all his brothers usually came with their wives and often made fun of him that he was alone again. The problem turned out to be that on the day of the party, the OP had a work shift at the hospital.

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Image credits: Don Graham(not the actual image)

For a long time, the husband persuaded the OP to somehow skip the shift, swap with someone, or somehow still come to the party. He even called all her friends from work himself, literally begging them to cover her shift. However, the only thing he managed to achieve in the end was the wife’s irritation. After all, the man resigned himself to the fact that he would again have to go alone…

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Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

The husband tricked the OP into going to the party instead of driving her to the hospital

No matter how! On the morning of the party, the OP suddenly discovered that the tires on her car were out of air. The husband offered to take her to work, and the wife, of course, agreed. Imagine her surprise when, instead of the hospital, the man drove her directly to the ranch, saying that he tricked her into going to the party, and now she would have to put up with it and skip work that day.

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Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

After a while, they reached the ranch. The OP glanced at her watch and made sure that if she found a way to get to work right now, she would still be in time for her shift. When the husband walked away, she saw his keychain, grabbed it and rushed to the backyard, where the cars were parked.

Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

The OP took her husband’s car and drove to her work hoping she’d get there in time

The father-in-law saw her driving away and, of course, immediately told his son. As a result, the husband called her so many times on the way to work that the woman simply turned off the phone. She was on time, but when the shift ended and she turned on the phone again, she saw a huge number of angry messages from her husband.

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Image credits: Macro Verch Professional Photographer (not the actual image)

When the OP turned her phone on, she saw a number of wrathful messages from her husband

She answered one of the calls, and he fell upon her with reproaches and accusations of manipulation. He said that she allegedly betrayed him and made him look stupid in front of his entire family. Then the man calmed down a bit and said that he always knew that work was more important for her than her own family, and that now he could never trust her.

Since then, the OP and her husband have been on terrible terms, and she hasn’t communicated with her in-laws at all since that ill-fated party. The woman is upset that, on the one hand, she unwittingly spoiled her marriage, but on the other hand, she was afraid that if she missed the work shift, she would simply lose her job.

Commenters backed the OP and said that her relationship with her hubby just cannot be healthy

However, people in the comments, on the contrary, massively supported the OP. It is strange to read that a man who lied to his wife literally in the face, later himself accuses her of manipulation. And what’s more, it turns out that he puts his leisure time above her career. Commenters believe that a woman should not only not apologize in any case, but simply leave such an unworthy person.

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Summarizing the original post, people note that the husband almost framed the woman with her job, gaslighted her, deceived and actually kidnapped her. According to most, this is a weighty reason to leave him. Most likely, commenters believe, the man has some kind of psychological problems – but in any case, this relationship cannot be healthy.

We are pretty sure that such twisted experiences have not happened to you, but if there was something similar, we will be grateful if you share it in the comments. And, as always, we welcome your views on this very narrative.

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lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The kicker here is that he accused her of being manipulative. After lying to her and taking her to the BBQ. Also, it was all about looking good in front of his family? He should have told them to lay off. He put her job at risk, yes. But also the patients she was scheduled to take care of.

ansistargirl avatar
Ansi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't forget he said that HE could never trust HER again after this. 🤦‍♀️

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ayelet-cooper avatar
alwaysMispelled
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a nurse. You cannot just "sit a shift out," there is an INSANE nursing shortage and someone not showing up could potentially risk a patient's safety and DEFINITELY f***s over your co-workers. This is just insane. For a f*****g BBQ??!?! He should be standing up to his brothers on his wife's behalf, educating them on how IMPORTANT and CRITICAL her job is!

mikedelancey avatar
Two_rolling_black_eyes
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kidnapping, lying, and extortion of her time (the act or of wresting anything from a person by force, duress, menace, authority, or any undue exercise of power) are inexcusable and criminal. Implying that her job is the reason he shouldn't do it is saying its ok for this behavior if society doesn't think your job or you are important. What if she had been a sex worker instead of a nurse? Would damaging her car and lying to her to force her into his locked car be less or more criminal? How about involuntarily taking her to a place she specifically said she didn't want to go? Would it be ok for her to take the vehicle she was kidnapped in to escape the man and his family?

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rens_1 avatar
Rens
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My abusive ex used to pick a fight with me and give me hours long lectures, usually when I needed to go to work. I was a healthcare assistant and I was doing a lot of hospital work and I knew how important it was for me to get to the shift because there was such a staff shortage. It took me years to get away from him; work was the only way I could get enough money to get away from him and the only way I felt respected and valued. Everytime I tried to get away from him, he would Sabotage my job and my home (either by coming to my place of work, calling me incessantly on my phone, calling the office of the agencies I worked for and verbally abusing the staff, arriving at the place I lived and picking fights with other residents or my landlords... ) so that I would end up losing my job/home and have to move back in with him, or be homeless on the streets... Nightmare times

lyndsey-macd avatar
kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really, SHE is the manipulator? HE TOOK THE FCKING AIR OUT HER TIRES!!!!! And then he practiclaly kidnaps her, stopping her from coming into work. That is psycopathic behaviour. And he has the nerve to say she made him look bad? SHE? After he pulled this stunt? If they have kids, they might want to try therapy, otherwise it'll be a divorce.

glowingsun2002 avatar
BadCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Would he be okay with her losing her job and supporting the both of them? Super scary guy to slash her tires and try to trap her into going along with his plans. Throw him out with the bathwater.

w-lunenburg avatar
robertjones_10 avatar
Robert Jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This marriage won't last anyway. Marriage is about sacrifice for your family, sacrifice the OP won't make. There will be divorce in this marriage because they aren't willing to make it work for each other, only thinking about themselves

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katherineboag avatar
Katherine Boag
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if you think she works too much or needs to give her husband more attention or whatever, that is no excuse for how he acted here. He LIED AND GASLIT AND KIDNAPPED AND TRAPPED HER like she had to steal his keys to get away to not lose her job. I hope she divorces him.

bayoubilly avatar
Bayou Billy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel bad for all the commentors supporting him somewhat or claiming he must have done this for reasons. Your relationships must be messed up seriously to think that way. What is wrong with them?

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sugarducky avatar
Vivian Ashe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm kind of surprised by the number of people who agree that the wife should just call in sick or trade shifts any time her husband wants her to have a meal with his family. A lot of jobs don't offer the flexibility to just trade shifts with someone else to accommodate your social life - especially if there's a staffing shortage, or if you have very specialized responsibilities that make you hard to replace. The fact that the husband thinks she can just not shot up for work that day and there won't be any consequences is an indication that he doesn't respect her career as a "real" job.

janak avatar
JanaK
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

She said she covers a shift, not her shift. Yes, she could do it if she wanted to be with her husband.

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leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1. He let the air out of her tires. (this is the most logical explanation, tho' I have no proof beyond having seen abusers do that sh*t). 2. He kidnapped her by legal definition. 3. Medical personnel can't just "sit out a shift". if you're on the schedule, you're on. That's it. 4. She needs to leave and not look back.

janak avatar
JanaK
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

2. In criminal law, kidnapping is the unlawful confinement of a person against their will. Not by legal definition...

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lyndsey-macd avatar
LynzCatastrophe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He dared to call HER a manipulator?! When his little stunt could have cost her her job?? What did he think would happen? He basically tricks his wife into being a no-show at work! He truly doesn't see what he's done wrong here?! Yeah, family is important and you should make time for them. A BBQ is not one of those times and most employers would (rightfully) refuse you time off for that.

bayoubilly avatar
Bayou Billy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah the amount of flak she is getting in the comments here and there lead .e to believe her husband's personality type extends to both sexes and is fairly common sadly...

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juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So husband deflates wife's tires and kidnaps her and SHE wonders if she's TA for escaping?!?!

lucillesoderstrom avatar
LucyGoosey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not a nurse, but both my grandmothers were, my step-mother is a phlebotomist, and my step-sister wants to be a traveling nurse and is working at a care facility with elders (for lack of a better word). I disagree with the last comment there, nurses, doctors, anybody in the medical field can't catch a damn break. They seem to work 24/7 and usually have no choice but to pick up an extra shift due to a shortage in nurses and the number of people in a hospital at a time, especially nowadays. My step-mother just does blood work, and there's like 9-12 of them, but they're not always at work together, and since step-mom used to be a supervisor (before she stepped down for her kids), I often hear her getting calls from people saying they're not coming in. It becomes a thin crew of 3-4 for a three floor major hospital. An intern quit. Someone else got fired for mislabeling. No, I'm not kidding - this hospital has some good doctors, but it sucks. OP has a right to be upset. Husband's TA.

dremosley avatar
Dre Mosley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He flattened your tires so you would have no choice but to get a ride with him, so that he'd be in control of where you went and he has the nerve to call you manipulative?

keitho avatar
Keith O
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In reality the title should have been, Husband tricked and kidnapped me and then got mad when I rightfully ran away. GET A DIVORCE. How many red flags do you need?

amandacharity1990 avatar
Amanda Charity
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like this plenty men work like dogs year-round miss family functions, dance recitals and all and nobody ever has a problem with this so why is her wanting to go to work and use the degree im sure she spent thousands on a problem? Once she said that she had to work it should have been the end of the discussion period! But this is psycho s**t sure enough!!!!!!

jasamnitko13 avatar
Jasam Nitko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd be getting a divorce if my husband did that to me. There is no way I'd stay with a man that treated me like that.

hjemmemac avatar
Soon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He abducted you, tried to force you away from the responsibilities at your work. Run for the hills, he is not the right person for you! You are absolutely NTA!!!

zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This story is a whole new level of WTF? How old is the husband? 12? letting air out of the wife's car? Wanting her to bail on work? that is some immature s**t and also some major red flags from him AND his family

vjsmart2001 avatar
SupernaturalPanda
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA and his a*s and his stuff would be out!! Let him go live on the ranch that he loves so dearly . You don’t f**k with someone’s job like that .

findgretta avatar
I'mNotARoboat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Woman escapes kidnapping by husband after he tricks her into being given a ride to work but really takes her to where he wants her to go instead". Fixed the title.

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He called YOU manipulative?! LEAVE HIM SIS. You don't get to just "sit this shift out" that's not how it works in the grown up world. What a f*****g child. Honestly, if you stay with him then you get what you get. This is unreal.

troy_5 avatar
Troy Parr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like he's still tied to his mother's apron strings. Time he cut those ties loose and gave his Wife more support instead. His wife is having to teach him lessons that his parents should have done...

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The folks that are saying ESH are truly confusing. They are essentially saying that what the guy did was wrong, but the wife is prioritizing her job above anything else. I don't know if you people have noticed, but we are still in the middle of a global pandemic. There is a shortage of nurses and they have to work a lot of shifts. This guy flattened her tires and then told her that he would take her to work just so that he could take her to the bbq. The main reason he wanted her there is because his brothers were giving him a hard time about the fact that his wife would not be there while their wives would. Maybe these women don't work or have jobs that are not demanding. Either way, she is definitely not the a-hole. He is though and so is his family.

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm with you. I'm a woman with an MD. I went in unpaid for two years in the pandemic. Why? B/c people die if medical personnel aren't around. That hubby needs a reality check on *what* she does. It's not like working McDonalds, where someone just waits longer for their fries

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amandacharity1990 avatar
Amanda Charity
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let's be real about what this is. His ego was bruised because his brothers were giving him s**t about his wife not always being there. This had nothing to do with him spending time with HER, his focus was on his family and his needs thats why he took such and extreme measure by letting the air out of her tires because he meant that she was gonna go he didn't give a damn about how she felt. All these comments taking about she wrong! Really? Just imagine your at work and you know u have to work Friday but its your weekend with your son so you ask "OP" to cover for you and she agrees and all is well then the day of she calls and said " Oh im sorry I can't do it because my husband wants me to go to a family bbq" lmmfao im sure that will go over well with the superiors! That s**t just unprofessional. Obviously they don't have children so why not work as much as you can? Not to mention the pandemic like there are so many factors! None of that give him the right to do what he did!

charleswilliams_3 avatar
Charles Williams
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you don't have any children with this guy. You are definitely NTA but you should also definitely look into divorcing him. It was the other way around for me but she understood and was ok with me attending what I could and arriving when I could. Sometimes not arriving for functions until 30 minutes before they were over. But, I was never pressured or forced.

louisemartin avatar
Louise Martin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My first husband used to take the phone off the wall and take it to work with him so that I couldn't call my mother in another state to ask for help to leave him. Get the hell away from this guy ASAP because it's going to get way worse if you don't.

ashp_1 avatar
Ash P
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had an ex that took my phone, car keys and wallet while I was sleeping and ran several states away. Many times he was manipulative like this, he got me fired from a Walmart because he would go to parties instead of giving me rides to work when my car was down

julija-mich avatar
B-b-bird
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He deflated tires in her car, DEFLATED tires, so she would not reach work. Isn’t it big enough flag to see from outer space? Now he’s manipulating her feelings to make her think she’s an AH. Omg… hope she’ll get a good attorney as it’s psychological abuse she’s going through

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm completely dumbstruck by the number of these comments that read this story and decided the takeaway was that she works too much so she's the problem. Don't you all realize this is exactly the same sort of victim blaming that spawns the whole "don't wear provocative clothes if you don't want to be assaulted" nonsense. If the dude had an issue with his wife's workaholism the right response is NOT to kidnap her! JFC what is wrong with you people,

beautifulmonster1318 avatar
Amber P.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. And there are so many of those comments, all from the same people, it makes me think he got his family commenting on here or something. Like how can that many people think this is acceptable? -.-

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vidoniathompson avatar
Vidonia Thompson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He kidnapped her, vandalized her car, and almost made her miss her shift which could've and would've costed her, her job and many people's lives. She needs to break up with him.

habastien avatar
Person
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

haha... "man practically kidnaps his wife's gets pissed when she runs away!"

louiseplatiel avatar
Louise Platiel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LEAVE now before this gets worse. The lack of respect for boundaries is astounding. The answer was no. You can't even trust that man around your property. The mysterious airless tires??? This marriage will be a lifetime of misery.

marisolforonda avatar
Marisol Foronda
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He might even be jealous of her profession and was hoping he could get her fired.

mollycahill-kert avatar
Emcasey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fellow nurse here; NTA for sure. He's the AH for many many reasons. Going beyond the just ethics of lying, manipulating and tricking someone, there's another big one: your career. Not only could you lose your job for no showing a shift, some state boards of nursing can fine you or pull your license for patient abandonment. Nurses are already stretched thin on every unit; someone not showing up for a shift can literally mean the difference of life and death if you work on high acuity floor, like ICU or ER. He clearly doesn't understand it value your career. You deserve someone who does.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The idiot that made that last post seems to be blissfully unaware that there is still a freaking pandemic going on, that many hospitals are short-staffed because burned out staff have quit, and that suddenly taking off with no backup plan puts her whole department in a bad state.

deborahbrett avatar
Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*He* can't trust *her?* He kidnapped her. He sabotaged her car, offered her a lift to work, and took her somewhere else over her protests. And now he's acting like she is in the wrong for taking the car keys and leaving. WTF? Did he not notice he had committed a felony? Did he not have the common sense to realise that she could be fired for missing a shift without notice, or was he planning on it because he doesn't like her having a career she loves? He is 100% in the wrong here. Now he's saying she's manipulative? That's gaslighting. Next time he leaves the house, change the locks, and leave his possessions on the front step and have a process server waiting for him with divorce papers and a restraining order.

pbwilson avatar
P B Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a hospital worker as well, Yes your job is very important however so is your personal life and your marriage and your family. Yes he did it in a wrong way, however it sounds like he just missed his wife attending family functions. Sometimes people sacrifice too much for their job

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you miss your wife, you don't kidnap her and force her against her will. You have a f*****g conversation. If you believe otherwise, you're a child just like he is.

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lisahewes avatar
Lisa H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I'm about to say is going to be controversial, but I agree with the last commenter. ESH. The husband for tricking her, vandalism, and basically kidnapping her. However, it sounds like she's ONLY with his family for the major events and a BBQ is nothing to her. It sounds like work is so important to her that he has no choice but to manipulate her. Yes, she has a VERY important job, but she all but said her work is basically her #1 priority at all times. If my SO said that to me, regardless of their job, I would be heartbroken. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship on either end. Does she not like his family that he loves so much? I'm wondering why the husband felt like he had to manipulate her like this. She is a nurse and obviously we need as many as we can get, but I'm also curious if she even has much of a personal life. ESH but I feel like I need more information.

heatherdangerfield avatar
beckyolsen avatar
Becky Olsen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run! If this very hard to believe story is true, (vandalism, kidnapping, gaslighting, risking your job, risking patients lives, adding to your coworkers being overwhelmed with low staffing, adding to you be overwhelmed as a front line worker, etc. all because he’s either too weak to stand up to his family and/or him and his family are complete narcissists that have no idea the impact it’s had and is obviously still having on front line workers.Its sickos like this that have no idea how they make it so much worse for others, especially a front line worker like yourself who’s already overwhelmed by such an important job). Your husband and his family will only get much much worse. Save yourself and get a divorce pronto. This was a disgusting story to read and having to live through it wouldn’t be worth even being acquainted with your criminal and abusive husband and his family. It’s shocking to think you would be so blind to question yourself here as ‘AITA’. Therapy can help you.

debrinablackmoon_1 avatar
Debrina Blackmoon
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No way can I rightfully agree with anyone siding with him, including the last commenter above! Also, AGAIN-how is this "NTA" question even necessary?! Everyone knows only HE and his toxic psychocunt monster assholevirus shitpile bitchfungus vile fucktard+ family is truly in the wrong. This includes everyone here on that side.

ladylastarr avatar
Lady La'Starr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He literally manipulated her into going...some ppl I swear 😮‍💨

susanguy avatar
Susan Guy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your marriage is not a marriage. Pull a Katie Homes on him. Be very nice and go to every event all while getting a new bank account, a lawyer and a track phone. Put money back, get an apartment and start moving little stuff over there, purge everything his family gave you to the dump, quietly and a little bit each time. Then, at the barbecue have him served papers in front of everyone. And just don’t go back home.

susanguy avatar
Susan Guy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your marriage is over…. Make your escape plan now. Be very nice and start accommodating every single wish and request for 6 months while creating your secret bank account, finding an attorney, changing papers to take his name off, purging c**p from your home that his family owned or gave y’all. Slowly and quietly just donate every single item sourced from them. Line up your housing, collect moving boxes, change your name back, passport too. Get your new place. And slowly sneak stuff over there. Then, just don’t go home one day and have him served divorce papers at a family barbecue that you promised to meet him at….. pull the Katie Holmes on him. Track phone and all….

latinaspitfire1 avatar
Linda Santiago
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is only going to get worse for OP. She needs an exit plan now. She is dealing with a narcissist. It only goes downhill from here.

laurenfrench avatar
Lauren French
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does anyone else feel like he is the reason she had no air in her tires?

marywelch avatar
Mary Welch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think anyone is wondering if he's the reason for the flat tires. It's a given.

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karilynn avatar
Kari Lynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's only a matter of time til he hits you. In fact, it's probably right around the corner after his latest attempt at controlling you failed. Take it from me: former nurse and ex-abused wife.

gloriabethallen avatar
Gloria Bethallen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All so his brothers would stop joking around about how he came alone. i assume they knew her job as well. Wow.

kauflenya avatar
Heta Luna
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girl got a man on her hands that thinks his rep with his brothers is more important than the life of people in a hospital. I would have filed them divorce papers the second he yells at me for this

die1900die avatar
Monica Leigh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like something my mom would do. In fact, she picked me up from work once, with my little sister in tow, and then went straight to her boyfriends house for a little get together with his son...even though she knew I didn't want to go. She said it would just be for awhile, then we'd go home. Later in the evening, after his son leaves, she emerges in a nightgown. I'm like wth are you doing, we still need to go home. She wouldn't take us and expected us to sleepover on the couch. I was so pissed off and so her bf offered to take me and my sister home.

kristenleighblount avatar
Fergus Corgi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the husband vandalized his wife's car & then basically kidnapped her because she is prioritizing her job over a family bbq. Getting mad because she needs to go to work instead of a bbq sounds like a child who doesn't understand adult responsibility. The vandalism & kidnapping seems frightening on the surface but I think it is more of the childish behavior actually (as long as he isn't violent). Getting mad because she left the party to go to her job; again childish behavior. She needs to get away from this man-child asap before she has any actual children with him.

libraryphoenix333 avatar
Cartoon Fan Girl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the commenters, I really do think that he deflated her tires, and if not him he had a friend over late at night to do it.

kathrinbextermoeller avatar
Kathrin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why were the car's tires flat anyway? sounds fishy.....

merilynhorton avatar
Merilyn Horton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He refuses to acknowledge that your job is important and doesn’t understand responsibility.

ssantgross avatar
ssantgross
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband AND his family sound like garbage. Divorce him/them.

paulajwynn avatar
Paula Wynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doesn't he realize when a nurse doesn't show up, someone could DIE? Way more important than a freaking BBQ. He let the air out and kidnapped her, but he thinks SHE'S manipulative? He is abusing her mentally, emotionally, AND physically. How long until he starts beating her? RUN GIRL!!!

princesskitty avatar
princess kitty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

bro there are so many things wrong with this situation alone , not to mention the other red flags she's saying by reacting to the comments divorce him and get out before it gets any worse 😭

killua_84 avatar
Lunar
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is the husband family all kids? Why are they so childish?

valisbourne avatar
Valisbourne Spiritforge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gonna go with ESH as well. Sure, he was completely AH for what he did, but she never even mentioned trying to get a day off to go with him or even expressed interest in something he obviously wanted to include her in. So yeah, they were both the AH.

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All of that s**t went out the window when he kidnapped her. I don't care what the situation is, you don't react that way. She should leave that man child in the dirt.

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schlenkerkl avatar
Monique Rosewood
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish he would have called me a manipulator that he'll never trust again after letting the air out of my tires, saying he's taking me to work and then taking me somewhere else. I would never let him hear the end of it.

phillipvontraum avatar
Phillip VonTraum
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does anyone else skip the extra repetitive c**p and the writing here and just read the Reddit post? I scan through and look for the spots of white and read the reddit post get through the article so much faster and play these articles are all written, it goes weirdly. It says some stuff in the reddit post and goes backwards for the author's horrific retelling of what the reddit post just said but in the guys own words?! WHATEVER. Stupid. Boredpanda is utter trash

desireebberg avatar
Venice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you maybe leave something out about his family not liking you or treating you poorly. Because ifthat's the case then I can understand your reluctance to be around them. Your husband's methods are clearly questionable but from where I stand it sounded like a desperation to have his wife join him. Your explanation is all about work work work. Your unwillingness to have someone cover your shifts speak volumes as it seems there were options to NOT work. Are you running away from being with your husband? Is this work obsession only with his family events or does it also happen when he wants to do other stuff, like attending HIS work events or visit with friends. So the question is what exactly is YOUR agenda about your obsession with working as you noted it's not about money. How important is your marriage to you....should be your next question . Unless your husband treats you badly, is irresponsible, controlling disrespectful etc. Then you have a good case to make. Otherwise let him g

stevendinowindfeld avatar
Steven Windfeld
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I don't get, is why they didn't just fill the car tires up with air. It takes a few minutes at most to do.

lilhoss76 avatar
Wayne Sparks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My guess would be because most people don't have their own compressor and you cannot drive a car to get air without risking severe damage to tires and rims.

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staceyvokes avatar
Stacey Vokes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He went about this the wrong way but I think you also need to make time for him and what he likes to do. You chose to pick up an extra shift rather than spend time with him. Me and my partner work 6 days a week but we always check with each other before we take that extra shift in case one of us wants or needs an extra day together. Maybe tiu guys need to talk a bit more about priorities ❤️

delakick002 avatar
Brina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hun, this is NOT the same thing. The fact you only seen it just as, "he went about it the wrong way", WITHOUT recognizing what he did was CRIMINAL, is incredibly naive. Like, did you really read, and grasp the severity of the situation? It's great if that's how you guys work things out that way. But did you miss the part, she goes to the important functions? Or what he did was kidnap her? In what world is any of that acceptable? I feel so bad for some of you. If you believe what he did was okay, than what does "abuse" look like to you?

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iamknucks avatar
Iam Knucks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kind of interesting that she mentioned his family is in the middle of nowhere. But her husband offered to drive her to work, but instead drove to the family ranch. But then she still had time to double back to the hospital? Did he originally plan to drive her to work 3 hours early? Or is the family ranch only 20 minutes away? It kind of seems like the facts don't line up here. This feels like a very one-sided telling. Obviously the husband's actions as reported are very immature. But they also feel sad. Like a child begging for attention.

delakick002 avatar
Brina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe she was scared to speak up, or he lied, and said something to make her believe he'd drop her off after he was done. My ex did that s**t to me. Said he just needed to drop off food, and that he'd take me, then go back himself. The hospital could've also been on the way, she could've been tired and not paying attention. Its not impossible that happened. Especially if you're distracted by something else. A phone, nap, a conversation... anything could've been possible. He could've said he needed to pick something up, anything. But nah I don't see it as "begging for attention", especially not on her part. I live in a small town, there are tons of alternate routes to the hospital, as well as ranches and farms within driving distance. It doesn't really matter how far, or how it happened. The FACTS are that, the husband used manipulation and criminal tactics. I think the wife just needed validation, the kind that tells you what you might already know, but not sure.

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brianboutin avatar
Brian Boutin
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

aya_storm8_6 avatar
Pursuing Peonies
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While yes, op could possibly go to more events, why should she have to? Just so her husband "looks good" to his family? If family get togethers are so important to him, why hasn't he had any closer in town instead of always out at the ranch? Why is /this BBQ such a big deal to him vs any of the other similar events? Did he even try to ask her for that day off in advance enough that she'd have time, or did he just spring it on her and assume that she can "just call in"? If the ranch is that far away, and she only found out her tires were flat before she tried to leave for work, how did she make it to the hospital in time for her shift, or did she go check her car literally hours before she had to go to work? Is the ranch closer to work than their house? Or was she just going to leave for work extra early for...reasons? If because of traffic, maybe going the "long way around" and driving towards the ranch then towards work could save time.

aya_storm8_6 avatar
Pursuing Peonies
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that he literally kidnapped her and purposely misled her by saying he'd take her to work and then taking her literally elsewhere is a huge glaring terrifying red flag. There's also clearly not good communication in the relationship either. Big NTA but a tiny ESH because the timing of the finding of the tires and getting to work is sus, but kidnapping someone is extreme.

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princesskitty avatar
princess kitty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

bro if he's pulling that stunt and trying to force you into submission alot aswell as many other flags id say a divorce is now the last option unless he actually tries bc it sounds like with all if that and the way you are letting him treat you , it just doesn't work 😟

mistysouders avatar
Misty Souders
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. OK. My sister's a Dr. And yes there's a horrible shortage. Bthat being said. He was MOST DEFINITELY in the WRONG for what he did. And then went IFF on you. But in the OTHER HAND you SEEM to PREFER your work life over your married life. What I'm trying to say is that you to need yo sit down and talk. That IS WHY he did what he did. It was WRONG HOW HE DID IT. For sure. BUT he I SENDING you a message. That you are SIMPLY REFUSING to not ECKNOWLE. you two REALLY REALLY need to SiT down And TALK. ALL THE BEST

jhunter_1 avatar
J Hunter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The woman in the comments claiming to be a nurse is making me doub it. She went on a rant about working 12's but my first thought upon reading "get to work by 4p" made me think she was working 8's as in 8a-4p, 4p-12a and 12a-8a. Thus, more days/shifts are required. Otherwise she'd be working 4p-4a which makes no sense. Depending on the facility it's very unlikely that you'll work less than 48 hours vs her husband who seems to be unable to comprehend that her job is more demanding than his. I'm just concerned that she didn't see any of these traits early on in their relationship. I often note small things and address it before it gets out of hand. Unless he lied to his family, it seems like they have enabled these childish tendencies.

bobbygoodson avatar
Bobby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not condoning husband at all. I think they should probably split up though. They clearly have priorities that don't match up. I don't know enough about her schedule though. Sounds like she's picking up OT. Does she volunteer for this? Is she picking up the shifts after husband tells her about an event? His actions are inexcusable, but does kinda sound like someone desperate to share something very important to him with his wife. Like I said they seem to have very different priorities and at least the husband needs serious counseling about acceptable ways to voice discontent

lindacowley avatar
Auntriarch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know about where op is, but certainly here there is more OT than anyone wants. And some idiot stopping a nurse turning up for shift would just about put the tin hat on it

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hubertmartin avatar
Hubert Martin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Considering how over the top he went with this, it seems like it was really important to the husband. Do people really put their jobs above the closest people in their lives? Why would you do that? You're going to retire from that job one day. It's generally good practice not to drop dead the next day. Sure, nursing is important. Not the point. Behind a nurse is a person who decides whether a job, any job, is more important than their life. Divorce him. You're going to keep hurting that poor family.

delakick002 avatar
Brina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She could work at mc Donald's, does it matter? He did this out of ego. Do you guys not see that what he did was ILLEGAL? It doesn't matter about anything else. What he did was ugly and manipulative.

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heathervance avatar
AzKhaleesi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll be downvoted but I 100% agree with the last person. YES it was horrible what the husband did BUT you have to balance work with family and if you "rarely" go to events, then maybe the problem lies deeper. I don't know, I feel like if the husband posted this from a different angle everyone would be calling her a failure as a wife. Something like "I know I shouldn't have done this but all my wife does is work, she makes zero time for me or the family even though I have asked and even begged to make more time for us." I feel like this is heavily one sided and one of those things that's not so cut and dry and we need both sides.

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cannot believe you think there is another version of this story that makes this abusive and illegal behavior ok. And people wonder why victims stay with their abusers.

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masondalmau avatar
Mason Dalmau
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This nurse definitely sounds like she neglects her marriage and her relationship with her husband and seems to show absolutely no consideration for how he feels when his wife is married more to her work than him. DESPITE THAT, his actions were egregiously manipulative and damaged their ability to trust each other far more than her being neglectful of him. She may have made him desperate for her attention, but this is one of the worst ways I can think of to "solve" the problem. She created the situation, but damn, he would have been hard pressed to f**k it up worse without getting physical.

tonalius avatar
Angi Hillin
Community Member
1 year ago

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shayjackson avatar
Shay Jackson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People in the comments agree with her but one comment was so true why is it so important for you to work everyday and pick up shifts when she can be with her husband sometime I know work is important but her husband and family is important too but if she don't feel that way she needs to get a divorce and move on and let him find someone who wants to be a part of his family

c_m_jones avatar
C.M. Jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay this is one of the more complicated ones that I've commented on. First off are there any children? Second once in a great while it's important as your job is you should get coverage to go on one of these events. My spouse is in the health field so I know exactly where you're coming from but there is coverage available you have plenty of friends who I think could cover you in a tight situation. It pretty much looks like you do not take any time off hardly at all. Okay now that I've said that part here's the other part your husband kidnapped you. He left the air out of your tires we all know that. I would say the best bet for you two is to get into marriage counseling right away. If he refuses go to at least one counseling session on your own. I'm not sure how long you two have been married, perhaps now is the time to plan an exit. Consulting attorney find out who owns what, and draft up a divorce agreement.

irishlass622 avatar
Bridget Connors
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They don't have any kids. If they did, where were they when hubby was driving the OP to "work" aka the BBQ?

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ixozgjdgldioflemvv avatar
John Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, but your hubby might think he is an option to you, not a priority. I'd suggest marriage counseling asap.

edowdy1987 avatar
elizabeth dowdy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i dont know where you work as a nurse so i dont know what your work schedule is like ie 3 12s or 5 8's but it's clear though her work is more important than her relationship. i mean this was a desperate and yes bad at her husband to get her to spend time with him and his family. and if your covering for people and taking extra shifts it's clear you need to stop saying yes to so many extra shifts as your relationship seems to be suffering. you don't need to say yes everytime they ask you to cover a shift.

janinegrant avatar
Janine Grant
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They both suck. It was clearly important to him and she should have tried to be there for him. If the roles lwere reversed we would say he wasn't supporting his wife's needs. Him kidnapping his wife and disregarding her choice is equally as bad. Some people just shouldn't be married.

christopher_6 avatar
Christopher
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last poster is correct. Both sides are wrong in this case. It seems like the nurse doesn’t want to be around her husband or her family. The husband was a fool for lying and taking her to the party. Unhealthy relationship no matter whose side you’re on.

hubertmartin avatar
Hubert Martin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the people who know you don't like you and the people online, whom you've never met, support you, are you right or wrong?

masonhayden avatar
Mason Hayden
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude is definitely not in the wrong here, clearly this women puts work ahead of family. You make time for what is most important and she refused to make time for him.

brandonhorwath avatar
marinemom1208 avatar
Monica landreth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THANK YOU! I was beginning to think I am the only only thinking it's all BS! If not, she's got serious issues, starting with NOT questioning why her tires were suddenly flat after his tantrum...🙄

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faeryiis avatar
Lululoohoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think he's def the manipulator here and an AH. but I also feel like she possibly uses her job as an excuse to not hang out with his family because she doesn't like them? I don't think this relationship is healthy in either direction and they both need to just go their separate ways.

kingpbjames avatar
King PBJames
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my opinion you're both the assholes, even though he's a much bigger one. You said that you "had a shift to cover" which means you originally weren't scheduled but volunteered to fill a gap? And then wouldn't budge on it? If that's the case then I'd be pretty bad at you too because you'd rather work an extra shift than be with his family. If that's not the case then I apologize for misunderstanding. Not sure if you two will get over your differences with you being a workaholic and him being all about the family.

jessicasmith_11 avatar
Jessica Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was paid 40 euros per hour at work and it was a stressful job, I was researching online for a better job when I saw testimonies of how Priest Salami helped people with his spell to win a lottery. I have not played the lottery game before so I wondered how it works, I spoke to him via text: +2348143757229 and did everything he said to my greatest surprise I won.

brendandocherty avatar
Brendan Docherty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She takes her job waaay too seriously. When you’re old you won’t be wishing you worked more

tessacoven avatar
Tessa Coven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They both have problems. Like dude there wasn't any red-lights or stop signs on the way to the ranch? You could have just got out the damn truck. But instead you decided to ride and be mad because your SO wanted to spend time with you. Why get married when your married to your job that goes for both male and female. If you are going to put your job higher than a person you "love" then yeah just got get some cats and be done with people. And the whole kidnapping holding against her will I mean come on thats that same b******t you see when....well I'm not even gonna finish that.....both need to move on. She need a cat and he needs a partner.

red_raptor5563 avatar
Orion Duckwiler
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alright I've read many a comments, and the best I can conclude is that although the husband is worse of the two the wife is still pretty bad, I'm not going into detail, Just read the dang story and comments, because from what I've read, the wife is intentionally avoiding the events that matter a lot to her husband, and saying it's a hassle to get there, but she can make it to work from there at 4pm so it's not very far now is it, and he is bad, because he wanted his wife to attend an event with him, and he kidnapped her, yah that's a bad thing to do, kidnappings illegal after all

noneanon avatar
Random Anon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's this guy? A thirteen year old girl? Work is more important than his ego? Of course it is. If he wants a wife that sticks to him 24/7 he better be bringing home enough dough to cover them both and then some. F*ck this guy, with a toilet brush, from the gas station.

beizhudi-serv avatar
Judes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do you use 'thirteen year old girl' as an insult? There's no need to insult an entire age group and gender. It's also a pretty weird insult since there's no such thing as a thirteen year old girl who treats her wife badly.

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cerisehood_1 avatar
Cerise Hood
Community Member
1 year ago

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I think they have different priorities in life. The wife is focused on her career and the husband is focused on family. I don't think the relationship will last unless they find a compromise.

marymarty_2 avatar
Ally Joy
Community Member
1 year ago

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ESH The wife is picking up an extra shift. You have to compromise if you have a family. That means attending family events, not doing 4x 12 hour shifts.

arleneocasio avatar
Arlene Ocasio
Community Member
1 year ago

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If there is Any Possibility of you Going with your Husband at Least to One Family Function then Why Don't you ? A Single Nurse Does Not Work 24 Hours A Day. You Should Try to be Honest with yourself. I Really hope that you and your Husband can Sit Down and Talk Calmly And Respectfully with Each other When you both Are Not Angry. Let Each one Take A Turn to Express How They Really Feel while the other Person Tries Really hard just To Listen and Just Try to understand but there Needs to be Time Spent Between A Husband And Wife .if you can Really MAKE the Time to go to one of his Family's Get Togethers then I Believe it would make your Husband Happy. I hope your Marriage Heals with Communication and Love and giving from both sides.

irishlass622 avatar
justincline avatar
Justin Cline
Community Member
1 year ago

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He only trying to spend time with her she has most likely never missed work and especially not for him. Work is not everything she seems not wife material if I where him I would start sleeping with other wemon I'm sure they would be delighted to go to his family BBQ s alot of wemon are family type down here in the south

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sure hope you never trick a "wemon" into dating you. You sound like an abuser waiting for a victim.

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King Joffrey
Community Member
1 year ago

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Of course the husband is the AH and the manipulator but to me this reeked of desperation. She could have at least tried to get a cover for the shift so she can go.

justincline avatar
Justin Cline
Community Member
1 year ago

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It sounds as if he wants to have a healthy relationship with her and she most likely never misses work she should of called out he should start sleeping with other wemon and forget her ungrateful a*s

erikolson avatar
Erik Olson
Community Member
1 year ago

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I've come to the conclusion I need to step away from the internet. Build my own life with my own people. Trickery was wrong. But he should have left this vile woman long ago. I'm a teacher. They desperately needed help this summer to staff Ela for children with disabilities. No way in hell. My time with my wife, boys, and extended family is far too important. He over stepped, but he needs to leave and find a woman who isn't a slave to their job.

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Lisa
Community Member
1 year ago

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How much are you neglecting your marriage that your husband has to go through these lengths to have you participate in something important? IMO you need to get over yourself, nobody's job is important enough to neglect the ones you love.

lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The kicker here is that he accused her of being manipulative. After lying to her and taking her to the BBQ. Also, it was all about looking good in front of his family? He should have told them to lay off. He put her job at risk, yes. But also the patients she was scheduled to take care of.

ansistargirl avatar
Ansi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't forget he said that HE could never trust HER again after this. 🤦‍♀️

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ayelet-cooper avatar
alwaysMispelled
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a nurse. You cannot just "sit a shift out," there is an INSANE nursing shortage and someone not showing up could potentially risk a patient's safety and DEFINITELY f***s over your co-workers. This is just insane. For a f*****g BBQ??!?! He should be standing up to his brothers on his wife's behalf, educating them on how IMPORTANT and CRITICAL her job is!

mikedelancey avatar
Two_rolling_black_eyes
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kidnapping, lying, and extortion of her time (the act or of wresting anything from a person by force, duress, menace, authority, or any undue exercise of power) are inexcusable and criminal. Implying that her job is the reason he shouldn't do it is saying its ok for this behavior if society doesn't think your job or you are important. What if she had been a sex worker instead of a nurse? Would damaging her car and lying to her to force her into his locked car be less or more criminal? How about involuntarily taking her to a place she specifically said she didn't want to go? Would it be ok for her to take the vehicle she was kidnapped in to escape the man and his family?

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Rens
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My abusive ex used to pick a fight with me and give me hours long lectures, usually when I needed to go to work. I was a healthcare assistant and I was doing a lot of hospital work and I knew how important it was for me to get to the shift because there was such a staff shortage. It took me years to get away from him; work was the only way I could get enough money to get away from him and the only way I felt respected and valued. Everytime I tried to get away from him, he would Sabotage my job and my home (either by coming to my place of work, calling me incessantly on my phone, calling the office of the agencies I worked for and verbally abusing the staff, arriving at the place I lived and picking fights with other residents or my landlords... ) so that I would end up losing my job/home and have to move back in with him, or be homeless on the streets... Nightmare times

lyndsey-macd avatar
kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really, SHE is the manipulator? HE TOOK THE FCKING AIR OUT HER TIRES!!!!! And then he practiclaly kidnaps her, stopping her from coming into work. That is psycopathic behaviour. And he has the nerve to say she made him look bad? SHE? After he pulled this stunt? If they have kids, they might want to try therapy, otherwise it'll be a divorce.

glowingsun2002 avatar
BadCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Would he be okay with her losing her job and supporting the both of them? Super scary guy to slash her tires and try to trap her into going along with his plans. Throw him out with the bathwater.

w-lunenburg avatar
robertjones_10 avatar
Robert Jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This marriage won't last anyway. Marriage is about sacrifice for your family, sacrifice the OP won't make. There will be divorce in this marriage because they aren't willing to make it work for each other, only thinking about themselves

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katherineboag avatar
Katherine Boag
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if you think she works too much or needs to give her husband more attention or whatever, that is no excuse for how he acted here. He LIED AND GASLIT AND KIDNAPPED AND TRAPPED HER like she had to steal his keys to get away to not lose her job. I hope she divorces him.

bayoubilly avatar
Bayou Billy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel bad for all the commentors supporting him somewhat or claiming he must have done this for reasons. Your relationships must be messed up seriously to think that way. What is wrong with them?

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sugarducky avatar
Vivian Ashe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm kind of surprised by the number of people who agree that the wife should just call in sick or trade shifts any time her husband wants her to have a meal with his family. A lot of jobs don't offer the flexibility to just trade shifts with someone else to accommodate your social life - especially if there's a staffing shortage, or if you have very specialized responsibilities that make you hard to replace. The fact that the husband thinks she can just not shot up for work that day and there won't be any consequences is an indication that he doesn't respect her career as a "real" job.

janak avatar
JanaK
Community Member
1 year ago

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She said she covers a shift, not her shift. Yes, she could do it if she wanted to be with her husband.

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leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1. He let the air out of her tires. (this is the most logical explanation, tho' I have no proof beyond having seen abusers do that sh*t). 2. He kidnapped her by legal definition. 3. Medical personnel can't just "sit out a shift". if you're on the schedule, you're on. That's it. 4. She needs to leave and not look back.

janak avatar
JanaK
Community Member
1 year ago

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2. In criminal law, kidnapping is the unlawful confinement of a person against their will. Not by legal definition...

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LynzCatastrophe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He dared to call HER a manipulator?! When his little stunt could have cost her her job?? What did he think would happen? He basically tricks his wife into being a no-show at work! He truly doesn't see what he's done wrong here?! Yeah, family is important and you should make time for them. A BBQ is not one of those times and most employers would (rightfully) refuse you time off for that.

bayoubilly avatar
Bayou Billy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah the amount of flak she is getting in the comments here and there lead .e to believe her husband's personality type extends to both sexes and is fairly common sadly...

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JuniorCJ82
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So husband deflates wife's tires and kidnaps her and SHE wonders if she's TA for escaping?!?!

lucillesoderstrom avatar
LucyGoosey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not a nurse, but both my grandmothers were, my step-mother is a phlebotomist, and my step-sister wants to be a traveling nurse and is working at a care facility with elders (for lack of a better word). I disagree with the last comment there, nurses, doctors, anybody in the medical field can't catch a damn break. They seem to work 24/7 and usually have no choice but to pick up an extra shift due to a shortage in nurses and the number of people in a hospital at a time, especially nowadays. My step-mother just does blood work, and there's like 9-12 of them, but they're not always at work together, and since step-mom used to be a supervisor (before she stepped down for her kids), I often hear her getting calls from people saying they're not coming in. It becomes a thin crew of 3-4 for a three floor major hospital. An intern quit. Someone else got fired for mislabeling. No, I'm not kidding - this hospital has some good doctors, but it sucks. OP has a right to be upset. Husband's TA.

dremosley avatar
Dre Mosley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He flattened your tires so you would have no choice but to get a ride with him, so that he'd be in control of where you went and he has the nerve to call you manipulative?

keitho avatar
Keith O
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In reality the title should have been, Husband tricked and kidnapped me and then got mad when I rightfully ran away. GET A DIVORCE. How many red flags do you need?

amandacharity1990 avatar
Amanda Charity
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like this plenty men work like dogs year-round miss family functions, dance recitals and all and nobody ever has a problem with this so why is her wanting to go to work and use the degree im sure she spent thousands on a problem? Once she said that she had to work it should have been the end of the discussion period! But this is psycho s**t sure enough!!!!!!

jasamnitko13 avatar
Jasam Nitko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd be getting a divorce if my husband did that to me. There is no way I'd stay with a man that treated me like that.

hjemmemac avatar
Soon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He abducted you, tried to force you away from the responsibilities at your work. Run for the hills, he is not the right person for you! You are absolutely NTA!!!

zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This story is a whole new level of WTF? How old is the husband? 12? letting air out of the wife's car? Wanting her to bail on work? that is some immature s**t and also some major red flags from him AND his family

vjsmart2001 avatar
SupernaturalPanda
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA and his a*s and his stuff would be out!! Let him go live on the ranch that he loves so dearly . You don’t f**k with someone’s job like that .

findgretta avatar
I'mNotARoboat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Woman escapes kidnapping by husband after he tricks her into being given a ride to work but really takes her to where he wants her to go instead". Fixed the title.

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He called YOU manipulative?! LEAVE HIM SIS. You don't get to just "sit this shift out" that's not how it works in the grown up world. What a f*****g child. Honestly, if you stay with him then you get what you get. This is unreal.

troy_5 avatar
Troy Parr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like he's still tied to his mother's apron strings. Time he cut those ties loose and gave his Wife more support instead. His wife is having to teach him lessons that his parents should have done...

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The folks that are saying ESH are truly confusing. They are essentially saying that what the guy did was wrong, but the wife is prioritizing her job above anything else. I don't know if you people have noticed, but we are still in the middle of a global pandemic. There is a shortage of nurses and they have to work a lot of shifts. This guy flattened her tires and then told her that he would take her to work just so that he could take her to the bbq. The main reason he wanted her there is because his brothers were giving him a hard time about the fact that his wife would not be there while their wives would. Maybe these women don't work or have jobs that are not demanding. Either way, she is definitely not the a-hole. He is though and so is his family.

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm with you. I'm a woman with an MD. I went in unpaid for two years in the pandemic. Why? B/c people die if medical personnel aren't around. That hubby needs a reality check on *what* she does. It's not like working McDonalds, where someone just waits longer for their fries

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amandacharity1990 avatar
Amanda Charity
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let's be real about what this is. His ego was bruised because his brothers were giving him s**t about his wife not always being there. This had nothing to do with him spending time with HER, his focus was on his family and his needs thats why he took such and extreme measure by letting the air out of her tires because he meant that she was gonna go he didn't give a damn about how she felt. All these comments taking about she wrong! Really? Just imagine your at work and you know u have to work Friday but its your weekend with your son so you ask "OP" to cover for you and she agrees and all is well then the day of she calls and said " Oh im sorry I can't do it because my husband wants me to go to a family bbq" lmmfao im sure that will go over well with the superiors! That s**t just unprofessional. Obviously they don't have children so why not work as much as you can? Not to mention the pandemic like there are so many factors! None of that give him the right to do what he did!

charleswilliams_3 avatar
Charles Williams
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you don't have any children with this guy. You are definitely NTA but you should also definitely look into divorcing him. It was the other way around for me but she understood and was ok with me attending what I could and arriving when I could. Sometimes not arriving for functions until 30 minutes before they were over. But, I was never pressured or forced.

louisemartin avatar
Louise Martin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My first husband used to take the phone off the wall and take it to work with him so that I couldn't call my mother in another state to ask for help to leave him. Get the hell away from this guy ASAP because it's going to get way worse if you don't.

ashp_1 avatar
Ash P
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had an ex that took my phone, car keys and wallet while I was sleeping and ran several states away. Many times he was manipulative like this, he got me fired from a Walmart because he would go to parties instead of giving me rides to work when my car was down

julija-mich avatar
B-b-bird
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He deflated tires in her car, DEFLATED tires, so she would not reach work. Isn’t it big enough flag to see from outer space? Now he’s manipulating her feelings to make her think she’s an AH. Omg… hope she’ll get a good attorney as it’s psychological abuse she’s going through

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm completely dumbstruck by the number of these comments that read this story and decided the takeaway was that she works too much so she's the problem. Don't you all realize this is exactly the same sort of victim blaming that spawns the whole "don't wear provocative clothes if you don't want to be assaulted" nonsense. If the dude had an issue with his wife's workaholism the right response is NOT to kidnap her! JFC what is wrong with you people,

beautifulmonster1318 avatar
Amber P.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. And there are so many of those comments, all from the same people, it makes me think he got his family commenting on here or something. Like how can that many people think this is acceptable? -.-

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Vidonia Thompson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He kidnapped her, vandalized her car, and almost made her miss her shift which could've and would've costed her, her job and many people's lives. She needs to break up with him.

habastien avatar
Person
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

haha... "man practically kidnaps his wife's gets pissed when she runs away!"

louiseplatiel avatar
Louise Platiel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LEAVE now before this gets worse. The lack of respect for boundaries is astounding. The answer was no. You can't even trust that man around your property. The mysterious airless tires??? This marriage will be a lifetime of misery.

marisolforonda avatar
Marisol Foronda
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He might even be jealous of her profession and was hoping he could get her fired.

mollycahill-kert avatar
Emcasey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fellow nurse here; NTA for sure. He's the AH for many many reasons. Going beyond the just ethics of lying, manipulating and tricking someone, there's another big one: your career. Not only could you lose your job for no showing a shift, some state boards of nursing can fine you or pull your license for patient abandonment. Nurses are already stretched thin on every unit; someone not showing up for a shift can literally mean the difference of life and death if you work on high acuity floor, like ICU or ER. He clearly doesn't understand it value your career. You deserve someone who does.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The idiot that made that last post seems to be blissfully unaware that there is still a freaking pandemic going on, that many hospitals are short-staffed because burned out staff have quit, and that suddenly taking off with no backup plan puts her whole department in a bad state.

deborahbrett avatar
Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*He* can't trust *her?* He kidnapped her. He sabotaged her car, offered her a lift to work, and took her somewhere else over her protests. And now he's acting like she is in the wrong for taking the car keys and leaving. WTF? Did he not notice he had committed a felony? Did he not have the common sense to realise that she could be fired for missing a shift without notice, or was he planning on it because he doesn't like her having a career she loves? He is 100% in the wrong here. Now he's saying she's manipulative? That's gaslighting. Next time he leaves the house, change the locks, and leave his possessions on the front step and have a process server waiting for him with divorce papers and a restraining order.

pbwilson avatar
P B Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a hospital worker as well, Yes your job is very important however so is your personal life and your marriage and your family. Yes he did it in a wrong way, however it sounds like he just missed his wife attending family functions. Sometimes people sacrifice too much for their job

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you miss your wife, you don't kidnap her and force her against her will. You have a f*****g conversation. If you believe otherwise, you're a child just like he is.

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lisahewes avatar
Lisa H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I'm about to say is going to be controversial, but I agree with the last commenter. ESH. The husband for tricking her, vandalism, and basically kidnapping her. However, it sounds like she's ONLY with his family for the major events and a BBQ is nothing to her. It sounds like work is so important to her that he has no choice but to manipulate her. Yes, she has a VERY important job, but she all but said her work is basically her #1 priority at all times. If my SO said that to me, regardless of their job, I would be heartbroken. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship on either end. Does she not like his family that he loves so much? I'm wondering why the husband felt like he had to manipulate her like this. She is a nurse and obviously we need as many as we can get, but I'm also curious if she even has much of a personal life. ESH but I feel like I need more information.

heatherdangerfield avatar
beckyolsen avatar
Becky Olsen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run! If this very hard to believe story is true, (vandalism, kidnapping, gaslighting, risking your job, risking patients lives, adding to your coworkers being overwhelmed with low staffing, adding to you be overwhelmed as a front line worker, etc. all because he’s either too weak to stand up to his family and/or him and his family are complete narcissists that have no idea the impact it’s had and is obviously still having on front line workers.Its sickos like this that have no idea how they make it so much worse for others, especially a front line worker like yourself who’s already overwhelmed by such an important job). Your husband and his family will only get much much worse. Save yourself and get a divorce pronto. This was a disgusting story to read and having to live through it wouldn’t be worth even being acquainted with your criminal and abusive husband and his family. It’s shocking to think you would be so blind to question yourself here as ‘AITA’. Therapy can help you.

debrinablackmoon_1 avatar
Debrina Blackmoon
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No way can I rightfully agree with anyone siding with him, including the last commenter above! Also, AGAIN-how is this "NTA" question even necessary?! Everyone knows only HE and his toxic psychocunt monster assholevirus shitpile bitchfungus vile fucktard+ family is truly in the wrong. This includes everyone here on that side.

ladylastarr avatar
Lady La'Starr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He literally manipulated her into going...some ppl I swear 😮‍💨

susanguy avatar
Susan Guy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your marriage is not a marriage. Pull a Katie Homes on him. Be very nice and go to every event all while getting a new bank account, a lawyer and a track phone. Put money back, get an apartment and start moving little stuff over there, purge everything his family gave you to the dump, quietly and a little bit each time. Then, at the barbecue have him served papers in front of everyone. And just don’t go back home.

susanguy avatar
Susan Guy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your marriage is over…. Make your escape plan now. Be very nice and start accommodating every single wish and request for 6 months while creating your secret bank account, finding an attorney, changing papers to take his name off, purging c**p from your home that his family owned or gave y’all. Slowly and quietly just donate every single item sourced from them. Line up your housing, collect moving boxes, change your name back, passport too. Get your new place. And slowly sneak stuff over there. Then, just don’t go home one day and have him served divorce papers at a family barbecue that you promised to meet him at….. pull the Katie Holmes on him. Track phone and all….

latinaspitfire1 avatar
Linda Santiago
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is only going to get worse for OP. She needs an exit plan now. She is dealing with a narcissist. It only goes downhill from here.

laurenfrench avatar
Lauren French
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does anyone else feel like he is the reason she had no air in her tires?

marywelch avatar
Mary Welch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think anyone is wondering if he's the reason for the flat tires. It's a given.

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karilynn avatar
Kari Lynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's only a matter of time til he hits you. In fact, it's probably right around the corner after his latest attempt at controlling you failed. Take it from me: former nurse and ex-abused wife.

gloriabethallen avatar
Gloria Bethallen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All so his brothers would stop joking around about how he came alone. i assume they knew her job as well. Wow.

kauflenya avatar
Heta Luna
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girl got a man on her hands that thinks his rep with his brothers is more important than the life of people in a hospital. I would have filed them divorce papers the second he yells at me for this

die1900die avatar
Monica Leigh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like something my mom would do. In fact, she picked me up from work once, with my little sister in tow, and then went straight to her boyfriends house for a little get together with his son...even though she knew I didn't want to go. She said it would just be for awhile, then we'd go home. Later in the evening, after his son leaves, she emerges in a nightgown. I'm like wth are you doing, we still need to go home. She wouldn't take us and expected us to sleepover on the couch. I was so pissed off and so her bf offered to take me and my sister home.

kristenleighblount avatar
Fergus Corgi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the husband vandalized his wife's car & then basically kidnapped her because she is prioritizing her job over a family bbq. Getting mad because she needs to go to work instead of a bbq sounds like a child who doesn't understand adult responsibility. The vandalism & kidnapping seems frightening on the surface but I think it is more of the childish behavior actually (as long as he isn't violent). Getting mad because she left the party to go to her job; again childish behavior. She needs to get away from this man-child asap before she has any actual children with him.

libraryphoenix333 avatar
Cartoon Fan Girl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the commenters, I really do think that he deflated her tires, and if not him he had a friend over late at night to do it.

kathrinbextermoeller avatar
Kathrin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why were the car's tires flat anyway? sounds fishy.....

merilynhorton avatar
Merilyn Horton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He refuses to acknowledge that your job is important and doesn’t understand responsibility.

ssantgross avatar
ssantgross
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband AND his family sound like garbage. Divorce him/them.

paulajwynn avatar
Paula Wynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doesn't he realize when a nurse doesn't show up, someone could DIE? Way more important than a freaking BBQ. He let the air out and kidnapped her, but he thinks SHE'S manipulative? He is abusing her mentally, emotionally, AND physically. How long until he starts beating her? RUN GIRL!!!

princesskitty avatar
princess kitty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

bro there are so many things wrong with this situation alone , not to mention the other red flags she's saying by reacting to the comments divorce him and get out before it gets any worse 😭

killua_84 avatar
Lunar
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is the husband family all kids? Why are they so childish?

valisbourne avatar
Valisbourne Spiritforge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gonna go with ESH as well. Sure, he was completely AH for what he did, but she never even mentioned trying to get a day off to go with him or even expressed interest in something he obviously wanted to include her in. So yeah, they were both the AH.

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All of that s**t went out the window when he kidnapped her. I don't care what the situation is, you don't react that way. She should leave that man child in the dirt.

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schlenkerkl avatar
Monique Rosewood
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish he would have called me a manipulator that he'll never trust again after letting the air out of my tires, saying he's taking me to work and then taking me somewhere else. I would never let him hear the end of it.

phillipvontraum avatar
Phillip VonTraum
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does anyone else skip the extra repetitive c**p and the writing here and just read the Reddit post? I scan through and look for the spots of white and read the reddit post get through the article so much faster and play these articles are all written, it goes weirdly. It says some stuff in the reddit post and goes backwards for the author's horrific retelling of what the reddit post just said but in the guys own words?! WHATEVER. Stupid. Boredpanda is utter trash

desireebberg avatar
Venice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you maybe leave something out about his family not liking you or treating you poorly. Because ifthat's the case then I can understand your reluctance to be around them. Your husband's methods are clearly questionable but from where I stand it sounded like a desperation to have his wife join him. Your explanation is all about work work work. Your unwillingness to have someone cover your shifts speak volumes as it seems there were options to NOT work. Are you running away from being with your husband? Is this work obsession only with his family events or does it also happen when he wants to do other stuff, like attending HIS work events or visit with friends. So the question is what exactly is YOUR agenda about your obsession with working as you noted it's not about money. How important is your marriage to you....should be your next question . Unless your husband treats you badly, is irresponsible, controlling disrespectful etc. Then you have a good case to make. Otherwise let him g

stevendinowindfeld avatar
Steven Windfeld
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I don't get, is why they didn't just fill the car tires up with air. It takes a few minutes at most to do.

lilhoss76 avatar
Wayne Sparks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My guess would be because most people don't have their own compressor and you cannot drive a car to get air without risking severe damage to tires and rims.

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Stacey Vokes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He went about this the wrong way but I think you also need to make time for him and what he likes to do. You chose to pick up an extra shift rather than spend time with him. Me and my partner work 6 days a week but we always check with each other before we take that extra shift in case one of us wants or needs an extra day together. Maybe tiu guys need to talk a bit more about priorities ❤️

delakick002 avatar
Brina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hun, this is NOT the same thing. The fact you only seen it just as, "he went about it the wrong way", WITHOUT recognizing what he did was CRIMINAL, is incredibly naive. Like, did you really read, and grasp the severity of the situation? It's great if that's how you guys work things out that way. But did you miss the part, she goes to the important functions? Or what he did was kidnap her? In what world is any of that acceptable? I feel so bad for some of you. If you believe what he did was okay, than what does "abuse" look like to you?

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Iam Knucks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kind of interesting that she mentioned his family is in the middle of nowhere. But her husband offered to drive her to work, but instead drove to the family ranch. But then she still had time to double back to the hospital? Did he originally plan to drive her to work 3 hours early? Or is the family ranch only 20 minutes away? It kind of seems like the facts don't line up here. This feels like a very one-sided telling. Obviously the husband's actions as reported are very immature. But they also feel sad. Like a child begging for attention.

delakick002 avatar
Brina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe she was scared to speak up, or he lied, and said something to make her believe he'd drop her off after he was done. My ex did that s**t to me. Said he just needed to drop off food, and that he'd take me, then go back himself. The hospital could've also been on the way, she could've been tired and not paying attention. Its not impossible that happened. Especially if you're distracted by something else. A phone, nap, a conversation... anything could've been possible. He could've said he needed to pick something up, anything. But nah I don't see it as "begging for attention", especially not on her part. I live in a small town, there are tons of alternate routes to the hospital, as well as ranches and farms within driving distance. It doesn't really matter how far, or how it happened. The FACTS are that, the husband used manipulation and criminal tactics. I think the wife just needed validation, the kind that tells you what you might already know, but not sure.

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Brian Boutin
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1 year ago

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Pursuing Peonies
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While yes, op could possibly go to more events, why should she have to? Just so her husband "looks good" to his family? If family get togethers are so important to him, why hasn't he had any closer in town instead of always out at the ranch? Why is /this BBQ such a big deal to him vs any of the other similar events? Did he even try to ask her for that day off in advance enough that she'd have time, or did he just spring it on her and assume that she can "just call in"? If the ranch is that far away, and she only found out her tires were flat before she tried to leave for work, how did she make it to the hospital in time for her shift, or did she go check her car literally hours before she had to go to work? Is the ranch closer to work than their house? Or was she just going to leave for work extra early for...reasons? If because of traffic, maybe going the "long way around" and driving towards the ranch then towards work could save time.

aya_storm8_6 avatar
Pursuing Peonies
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that he literally kidnapped her and purposely misled her by saying he'd take her to work and then taking her literally elsewhere is a huge glaring terrifying red flag. There's also clearly not good communication in the relationship either. Big NTA but a tiny ESH because the timing of the finding of the tires and getting to work is sus, but kidnapping someone is extreme.

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princess kitty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

bro if he's pulling that stunt and trying to force you into submission alot aswell as many other flags id say a divorce is now the last option unless he actually tries bc it sounds like with all if that and the way you are letting him treat you , it just doesn't work 😟

mistysouders avatar
Misty Souders
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. OK. My sister's a Dr. And yes there's a horrible shortage. Bthat being said. He was MOST DEFINITELY in the WRONG for what he did. And then went IFF on you. But in the OTHER HAND you SEEM to PREFER your work life over your married life. What I'm trying to say is that you to need yo sit down and talk. That IS WHY he did what he did. It was WRONG HOW HE DID IT. For sure. BUT he I SENDING you a message. That you are SIMPLY REFUSING to not ECKNOWLE. you two REALLY REALLY need to SiT down And TALK. ALL THE BEST

jhunter_1 avatar
J Hunter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The woman in the comments claiming to be a nurse is making me doub it. She went on a rant about working 12's but my first thought upon reading "get to work by 4p" made me think she was working 8's as in 8a-4p, 4p-12a and 12a-8a. Thus, more days/shifts are required. Otherwise she'd be working 4p-4a which makes no sense. Depending on the facility it's very unlikely that you'll work less than 48 hours vs her husband who seems to be unable to comprehend that her job is more demanding than his. I'm just concerned that she didn't see any of these traits early on in their relationship. I often note small things and address it before it gets out of hand. Unless he lied to his family, it seems like they have enabled these childish tendencies.

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Bobby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not condoning husband at all. I think they should probably split up though. They clearly have priorities that don't match up. I don't know enough about her schedule though. Sounds like she's picking up OT. Does she volunteer for this? Is she picking up the shifts after husband tells her about an event? His actions are inexcusable, but does kinda sound like someone desperate to share something very important to him with his wife. Like I said they seem to have very different priorities and at least the husband needs serious counseling about acceptable ways to voice discontent

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Auntriarch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know about where op is, but certainly here there is more OT than anyone wants. And some idiot stopping a nurse turning up for shift would just about put the tin hat on it

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Hubert Martin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Considering how over the top he went with this, it seems like it was really important to the husband. Do people really put their jobs above the closest people in their lives? Why would you do that? You're going to retire from that job one day. It's generally good practice not to drop dead the next day. Sure, nursing is important. Not the point. Behind a nurse is a person who decides whether a job, any job, is more important than their life. Divorce him. You're going to keep hurting that poor family.

delakick002 avatar
Brina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She could work at mc Donald's, does it matter? He did this out of ego. Do you guys not see that what he did was ILLEGAL? It doesn't matter about anything else. What he did was ugly and manipulative.

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll be downvoted but I 100% agree with the last person. YES it was horrible what the husband did BUT you have to balance work with family and if you "rarely" go to events, then maybe the problem lies deeper. I don't know, I feel like if the husband posted this from a different angle everyone would be calling her a failure as a wife. Something like "I know I shouldn't have done this but all my wife does is work, she makes zero time for me or the family even though I have asked and even begged to make more time for us." I feel like this is heavily one sided and one of those things that's not so cut and dry and we need both sides.

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cannot believe you think there is another version of this story that makes this abusive and illegal behavior ok. And people wonder why victims stay with their abusers.

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Mason Dalmau
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This nurse definitely sounds like she neglects her marriage and her relationship with her husband and seems to show absolutely no consideration for how he feels when his wife is married more to her work than him. DESPITE THAT, his actions were egregiously manipulative and damaged their ability to trust each other far more than her being neglectful of him. She may have made him desperate for her attention, but this is one of the worst ways I can think of to "solve" the problem. She created the situation, but damn, he would have been hard pressed to f**k it up worse without getting physical.

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Angi Hillin
Community Member
1 year ago

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Shay Jackson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People in the comments agree with her but one comment was so true why is it so important for you to work everyday and pick up shifts when she can be with her husband sometime I know work is important but her husband and family is important too but if she don't feel that way she needs to get a divorce and move on and let him find someone who wants to be a part of his family

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C.M. Jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay this is one of the more complicated ones that I've commented on. First off are there any children? Second once in a great while it's important as your job is you should get coverage to go on one of these events. My spouse is in the health field so I know exactly where you're coming from but there is coverage available you have plenty of friends who I think could cover you in a tight situation. It pretty much looks like you do not take any time off hardly at all. Okay now that I've said that part here's the other part your husband kidnapped you. He left the air out of your tires we all know that. I would say the best bet for you two is to get into marriage counseling right away. If he refuses go to at least one counseling session on your own. I'm not sure how long you two have been married, perhaps now is the time to plan an exit. Consulting attorney find out who owns what, and draft up a divorce agreement.

irishlass622 avatar
Bridget Connors
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They don't have any kids. If they did, where were they when hubby was driving the OP to "work" aka the BBQ?

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John Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, but your hubby might think he is an option to you, not a priority. I'd suggest marriage counseling asap.

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elizabeth dowdy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i dont know where you work as a nurse so i dont know what your work schedule is like ie 3 12s or 5 8's but it's clear though her work is more important than her relationship. i mean this was a desperate and yes bad at her husband to get her to spend time with him and his family. and if your covering for people and taking extra shifts it's clear you need to stop saying yes to so many extra shifts as your relationship seems to be suffering. you don't need to say yes everytime they ask you to cover a shift.

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Janine Grant
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They both suck. It was clearly important to him and she should have tried to be there for him. If the roles lwere reversed we would say he wasn't supporting his wife's needs. Him kidnapping his wife and disregarding her choice is equally as bad. Some people just shouldn't be married.

christopher_6 avatar
Christopher
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last poster is correct. Both sides are wrong in this case. It seems like the nurse doesn’t want to be around her husband or her family. The husband was a fool for lying and taking her to the party. Unhealthy relationship no matter whose side you’re on.

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Hubert Martin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the people who know you don't like you and the people online, whom you've never met, support you, are you right or wrong?

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Mason Hayden
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude is definitely not in the wrong here, clearly this women puts work ahead of family. You make time for what is most important and she refused to make time for him.

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Monica landreth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THANK YOU! I was beginning to think I am the only only thinking it's all BS! If not, she's got serious issues, starting with NOT questioning why her tires were suddenly flat after his tantrum...🙄

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Lululoohoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think he's def the manipulator here and an AH. but I also feel like she possibly uses her job as an excuse to not hang out with his family because she doesn't like them? I don't think this relationship is healthy in either direction and they both need to just go their separate ways.

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King PBJames
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my opinion you're both the assholes, even though he's a much bigger one. You said that you "had a shift to cover" which means you originally weren't scheduled but volunteered to fill a gap? And then wouldn't budge on it? If that's the case then I'd be pretty bad at you too because you'd rather work an extra shift than be with his family. If that's not the case then I apologize for misunderstanding. Not sure if you two will get over your differences with you being a workaholic and him being all about the family.

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Jessica Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was paid 40 euros per hour at work and it was a stressful job, I was researching online for a better job when I saw testimonies of how Priest Salami helped people with his spell to win a lottery. I have not played the lottery game before so I wondered how it works, I spoke to him via text: +2348143757229 and did everything he said to my greatest surprise I won.

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Brendan Docherty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She takes her job waaay too seriously. When you’re old you won’t be wishing you worked more

tessacoven avatar
Tessa Coven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They both have problems. Like dude there wasn't any red-lights or stop signs on the way to the ranch? You could have just got out the damn truck. But instead you decided to ride and be mad because your SO wanted to spend time with you. Why get married when your married to your job that goes for both male and female. If you are going to put your job higher than a person you "love" then yeah just got get some cats and be done with people. And the whole kidnapping holding against her will I mean come on thats that same b******t you see when....well I'm not even gonna finish that.....both need to move on. She need a cat and he needs a partner.

red_raptor5563 avatar
Orion Duckwiler
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alright I've read many a comments, and the best I can conclude is that although the husband is worse of the two the wife is still pretty bad, I'm not going into detail, Just read the dang story and comments, because from what I've read, the wife is intentionally avoiding the events that matter a lot to her husband, and saying it's a hassle to get there, but she can make it to work from there at 4pm so it's not very far now is it, and he is bad, because he wanted his wife to attend an event with him, and he kidnapped her, yah that's a bad thing to do, kidnappings illegal after all

noneanon avatar
Random Anon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's this guy? A thirteen year old girl? Work is more important than his ego? Of course it is. If he wants a wife that sticks to him 24/7 he better be bringing home enough dough to cover them both and then some. F*ck this guy, with a toilet brush, from the gas station.

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Judes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do you use 'thirteen year old girl' as an insult? There's no need to insult an entire age group and gender. It's also a pretty weird insult since there's no such thing as a thirteen year old girl who treats her wife badly.

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Cerise Hood
Community Member
1 year ago

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I think they have different priorities in life. The wife is focused on her career and the husband is focused on family. I don't think the relationship will last unless they find a compromise.

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Ally Joy
Community Member
1 year ago

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ESH The wife is picking up an extra shift. You have to compromise if you have a family. That means attending family events, not doing 4x 12 hour shifts.

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Arlene Ocasio
Community Member
1 year ago

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If there is Any Possibility of you Going with your Husband at Least to One Family Function then Why Don't you ? A Single Nurse Does Not Work 24 Hours A Day. You Should Try to be Honest with yourself. I Really hope that you and your Husband can Sit Down and Talk Calmly And Respectfully with Each other When you both Are Not Angry. Let Each one Take A Turn to Express How They Really Feel while the other Person Tries Really hard just To Listen and Just Try to understand but there Needs to be Time Spent Between A Husband And Wife .if you can Really MAKE the Time to go to one of his Family's Get Togethers then I Believe it would make your Husband Happy. I hope your Marriage Heals with Communication and Love and giving from both sides.

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Justin Cline
Community Member
1 year ago

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He only trying to spend time with her she has most likely never missed work and especially not for him. Work is not everything she seems not wife material if I where him I would start sleeping with other wemon I'm sure they would be delighted to go to his family BBQ s alot of wemon are family type down here in the south

lenonis avatar
John Dough
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sure hope you never trick a "wemon" into dating you. You sound like an abuser waiting for a victim.

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King Joffrey
Community Member
1 year ago

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Of course the husband is the AH and the manipulator but to me this reeked of desperation. She could have at least tried to get a cover for the shift so she can go.

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Justin Cline
Community Member
1 year ago

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It sounds as if he wants to have a healthy relationship with her and she most likely never misses work she should of called out he should start sleeping with other wemon and forget her ungrateful a*s

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Erik Olson
Community Member
1 year ago

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I've come to the conclusion I need to step away from the internet. Build my own life with my own people. Trickery was wrong. But he should have left this vile woman long ago. I'm a teacher. They desperately needed help this summer to staff Ela for children with disabilities. No way in hell. My time with my wife, boys, and extended family is far too important. He over stepped, but he needs to leave and find a woman who isn't a slave to their job.

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Lisa
Community Member
1 year ago

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How much are you neglecting your marriage that your husband has to go through these lengths to have you participate in something important? IMO you need to get over yourself, nobody's job is important enough to neglect the ones you love.

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