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Grabbing coffee to-go, laughing so loud the windows tremble, and keeping your shoes on when walking into someone’s home don’t raise a single American brow. But it’s a whole different story if we are talking non-Americans who moved to the land of the free and are just getting used to things the American way.

So when one Reddit user put up a question “Non-Americans who moved to the US, what are some social customs that have been the hardest for you to get used to?” on r/AskReddit, people who left their native lands had a whole bunch of stuff to comment on.

From showing thumbs up, which is considered rude in foreign countries, to finding potluck dinners super odd, and realizing bidets are off the map, these are some of the most illuminating answers people shared.

#1

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Still blows my mind that healthcare isn't free, and people actually go bankrupt, legitimately bankrupt, from medical bills.

graygreen , Images Money Report

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BorPand8
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Medical bills are the #1 cause of bankruptcy in the US. Google says it's at around 2/3 and rising.

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#2

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To The work culture! You get so few vacation days and most people didn't use them all for fear of what it looks like. In the UK, if we don't use all our days, HR will normally ask us if everything is okay

ObjectiveTumbleweed2 , Karl Bedingfield Report

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YupItsMe1234
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being an American that works for a European company I'm still jealous that my employees who sit in Switzerland and Germany get almost double the days off that I do.

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#3

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Strangers asking you what church you go to. Or the rather competitive nature of religion here. It seems less important to actually believe and more important to let people know how much you believe.

RCKJD , Guilherme Colombo Report

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Best part is that you can have your own church, find some gullible people and live like a king on the expense of the poor fools that believe in you and you can even apply for tax exemptions. Being a televangelist is very profitable in the US.

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#4

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Saying "I'm Irish" but they haven't been to Ireland and neither have their parents.

Big_Appointment1200 , wikipedia Report

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Treessimontrees
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a man where I work who claims he's 7% viking and gets really offended when anyone makes fun of him.

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#5

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To The pride people have in being unhealthy, ignoring serious symptoms, proudly eating like crap, proudly not exercising. And yet having the most expensive health care system in the world and refusing to accept alternatives. "that's whack man"

Barry_Boots , D.L. Report

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#6

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To The crazy giant gaps in bathroom stalls. It drives me insane. My partner told me that it's there to prevent people from doing drugs/having sex. But I still don't understand why I need to see everyone while I poop.

I'm from Israel.

adometze , ttarasiuk Report

#7

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Keeping my shoes on when walking into someone's home. I feel like a barbarian

fidelkastro , Heather Report

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troufaki13
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same here!! I find it so weird in movies that they're in the house with their shoes still on. I'm like, give your feet a break ffs!!

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#8

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To There is a toot-your-own-horn culture here in my experience that I find hard to deal with, especially in the workplace. It's not usually a typical someone saying they're good at something, it's more about making themselves out to be better and top-dog.

I'm from the UK and I'd say we are kind of modest.

Also, writing the date, I just can't get used to writing it with the month first.

Spiralstatic32 Report

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varwenea
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My logic - YYYY-MM-DD. Using this method, all my files in the same folder are always in the right order even if I edit older ones.

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Maria Ribaulo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm very fond of you varwenea. I didn't know anyone else did this even though it is so perfectly logical, EVERYONE should do this.

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Steve Cruz
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I learned when naming graphics files to put the YEAR first, month, then day, because it creates a hierarchy of versions that self-sorts more easily.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not when it comes to the really important ones; they measure the bullets in Milimeters and the destructive force of bombs in Megatons.

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Dragonfruit'nrollerskates
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know everyone assumes Americans to be rude, condescending, and *tooting their own horns kind of people*, but most people here are very nice and respectful. When you walk down the street, it's polite to say hello to people you don't know, ask them about their day, and having conversations with complete strangers. Not as many did that in the UK. Its just the people with bad opinions are louder and ruder and that's what everyone focuses on when they say "American". As one I'd like to apoligize for how badly the leaders of our country treat other people. Can't wait until I can vote.

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Sakeena
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe these things as an American. Unfortunately I’m the wrong kind of American (black, non-Christian) so my American-ness has no benefit. I experience everything non-Americans do, and can totally relate.

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Lena Flising
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I work at an multinational company, and I never know who use which method of stating the date, so I always say the date like August 6th. That way there can be few misunderstandings.

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Suzanne Haigh
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is this so important to non Americans? I am not American either but does not bother me.

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Maggie Smith
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been using year, month, and day since about 1987 on a computer. They are s much easier to find that way.

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Gilda Farrell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It all began in 1786 when America became independent from Great Britain. It was the little country who could. They never thought they would be able to maintain their independence because the world's established nations were so powerful. So they tooted their own horn from the beginning. They figured they'd last longer if they made themselves bigger in their own eyes. Something like a cat that puffs up its fur to look more scary when it's actually afraid. Well, circumstances in the 20th century catapulted the U.S. from being the dregs of European culture to the very front. But they had established years of puffing themselves up and don't really understand that when you are bigger than everyone else making yourself still bigger is not the same as when you were tiny.

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Mary Dellenbusch
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After all these years, I'm still f****d up by it. I was born in the states and moved to Canada long ago. I to this day have to think what I'm looking at. One would think it should be easy by now. For me it's not. Sigh.....

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steve acra
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Number of months, number of days, number of year. In order of greatest amount.

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Mama Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe they are competitive by nature. Sure it can be annoying when it's all the time but a little competition especially at work never hurt anyone. Also, your post is demonstrating the concept. Basically you are stating that even tho you consider yourself modest, you are better for it than the American counterparts. Isn't that the same thing? hmmm? As for the date, we write it just as we would say it out loud. If someone asked me when was the last time I went grocery shopping, I would reply oh it was on August 14th. It seems that the year is the least important part of the date.

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elfin
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And you didn't even mention that we refuse to switch to the metric system.

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Viviane
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Check the Dunning–Kruger effect, folks. Bragging for its own sake an be annoying. On the other hand, letting colleagues know your strong points can be helpful. Colleagues can then consult each other when trying to solve a problem or get help.

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CbusResident
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hence why we in the US have far outshined the UK and much of the rest of the world. As this person said: they're modest, shrinking violets who lack confidence. The US? We say: 'We're the best! We are inventing that airplane! We are putting f***ing men on the moon! We are having DARPA create the internet! We are funding the f***ing Human Genome Project!' Or in business: 'We are making Google! We are making Facebook! We are making Uber! Tesla! SpaceX! Amazon!' In Hollywood: 'We are making the f***ing Avengers! Jurassic Park! Super Man! Star Wars! Indiana Jones!' - Only Americans would have the slightly kooky temerity it takes to make these epic films, and the rest of the world can't get enough of them! Andy Puddicombe - the Brit founder of Headspace (a meditation app) said that when he'd tell UK people about that bus. idea - every UK businessperson said it would fail. Every US businessperson said: "That'll be amazing! Let me invest in it now!" And so Headspace, founded by two Brits, is based in the US and not the UK.

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Sharon Collier
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's like we say it: January 23, 2020. 01/23/2020. We don't say: 23rd of January, 2020.

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Sue Prewitt
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

It makes perfect sense. We say January 10th, 2020, not 20th of January, 2020. We write it like we say it.

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't you say tend to say 4th July though, not July 4th? Genuine question as I've never heard it said the latter way.

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#9

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Tipping culture is so alien to me as an Australian. I always over-tipped because I was never sure — some people would react like I'd made their day for what I thought wasn't a big tip. Coincidentally, I forgot to tip a bartender once and I was made to feel like the worst person ever

isometricbacon , wikipedia Report

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B Dus
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If an employer would pay his employees a decent salary, this wouldn't be a problem. I'm from Europe and only tip when the service or food was beyond expectations.

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#10

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Pledge of allegiance. There's literally no other country that I've ever been to that does this! This is so strange and I feel so uncomfortable whether or not I do it.

Using the word "patriotic" in a good way. Seriously, I'd always thought it meant "blindly loving your country and think it's the best", which that definition would fit a lot of Americans better.

thoughtsmachine , Michigan Municipal League Report

#11

Not a social custom, but when i returned from my study abroad in Europe back to the US, I realized how enormous everything is here. The houses, cars, stores, drinks, food portions, and unfortunately many of the people.

soulsista12 Report

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Joeshar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Big Gulp: 1Lt of beverage in a cup. And people are drinking it while driving.

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#12

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Saying "hi how are you?" to strangers and nobody actually answering the question.

The size of food serving when going out to eat.

Thanksgiving and black friday.

And lastly, the fact that every form I have to fill out, they ask my race.

I guess these are not technically social customs, or maybe they are, but I find all of the above very strange. Ugh, I'll never get used to living here.

sick_sadlittleworld , wikipedia Report

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Tiari
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always wonder about that race thingy. If a person has three Caucasian grandparents and one African-American - are they supposed to check the African-American box? Why? The Caucasian box? Both? These would be logical for me. Or is it depending on their looks? But then, everyone in the family could be different.

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#13

The politicization of everything

Hugo28Boss Report

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Music Mania
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Drives a lot of people from here nuts too. I can't tell you how many times I've yelled at someone that wearing a mask isn't a political issue.

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#14

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To That Fahrenheit nonsense. I just never bothered to learn, always converted to Celsius, and then I ended up moving to Canada. I knew it would pay off to never learn.

THIR13EN , wikipedia Report

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Joeshar
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Feet-Inch-Yard are the worst. The label at the back of the truck says "keep 30 feet distance" your math should be good while driving.

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#15

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To A friend of mine is Russian. Her parents came to Russia and were still getting used to America. In Russia when you are pulled over by the police you get of the car and walk over to them. Her dad got pulled over and so he got out and started walking towards them. He didn’t know you are supposed to stay in the car. He learned that lesson very quickly.
He didn’t die they didn’t even shoot at him. He did get arrested though.

meh2557 , wikipedia Report

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Pamela24
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"They didn't even shoot at him." - That sounds like that wouldn't be surprising if that happened. That's so scary - if he was not running at them, being aggressive or had a gun on him - why should that be an option?

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#16

Sounding like someone cares about you or your answers when they talk, when all they really care is following their scripts, for tip, sales revenue, door sales etc. The tipping culture. Why tell a burger costs $9.99 when with tax you are supposed to pay $11.25 and are supposed to tip at least 20% to not seem like a cheapskate? When the waitstaff works for under $3 a hour... just make it $15 and pay adequately, please

donottouchthatbrl Report

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Bill
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How does one calculate what they pay in sales tax in VAT counntries?

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#17

My wife is an immigrant so I'll pass on that she struggled with.
The way many American families raise their children until age 18, then send them out the door to make it or beak it in the world. In many other countries, you never stop helping your children by paying for more education (Vo-Tech or college/university) and trying to avoid student loans, they always have a place to live free of rent, and are quite involved in everyday life of the parents, even if just by phone.

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Kisses4Katie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't imagine not helping my child when he's over 18. I'm his mother. He can be 60 (and I'll be 77 lol) and I'll still help him.

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#18

I moved to Minnesota two years ago. At first I thought I would make friends super easy because people where really friendly but I soon learnt that nobody wanted to make friends. I was mistaking people’s inquisitive nature and need to overshare for genuine friendship foundation laying. I’m from the UK and usually if someone asks you for a beer and chat they want to get to know you, here in the US I’m just an interesting story to tell their real friends about. I found this upsetting at first, but I stopped caring and I did actually make a few good friends in the end.

BusyBeatle Report

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Joeshar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And fake excitements in the chat. "Woow, it's amazing, you're kidding" But most of them are fake and just to make you feel they found your story interesting which will be forgotten couple of minutes later.

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#19

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To The alcohol laws, in the UK you can drink in private from a very young age as long as you have parental consent and can have one beer/cider/glass of wine in a restaurant as long as you have a meal with it. In America, I tried to hand a pint to my Dad from a bar and the barman started shouting at me telling me to put it down because I wasn’t 21

Finlay1308 , Smabs Sputzer (1956-2017) Report

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But you could join the army and "liberate" some country and in the process kill as many people as you want.

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#20

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To How hard it is to make friends in the USA. It seemed pretty easy from where I came (Europe), but after 20 years in the USA, I still don't have friends here.

Snaggy4 , imdb Report

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Louloubelle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've lived here my entire life, and other than my sister, I have no real friends. Acquaintances, but no friends.

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#21

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To I still don't know how to get invited to parties, so there's that.

Also the drug TV ads with the long disclaimers while showing video of happy people living their lives. Really weird.

Snoo_47873 , Sarah-Rose Report

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jamie1707
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't feel bad. I don't know how to get invited to parties either. As for the drug ad: sick sick sick.

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#22

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To I'm from New Zealand.

Lack of vacation days.

Weird health system tied to employment.

Food portions.

Otherwise it is a pretty easy adjustment.

SteveBored , Paul Townsend Report

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Vorknkx
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some Americans get shocked when I tell them I have nearly 40 paid days off per year... and I end up using them all ;)

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#23

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Pounds. Ounces. Feet. Miles. I could never get the hang of it.

Pin-Weekly , Peat Bakke Report

#24

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To That fake condescending voice people use. I'm not a toddler looking for his mama; talk like a normal person.

SirBitcher , Chip Griffin Report

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not only an American problem. In my country it's a way of speaking that a lot of people in the medical profession use. "You may now take off your shirt so I can examine you." I always answer like: "Well thank you, your majesty, should I kneel and bow down to your mighty stethoscope? "

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#25

The lack of irony in general. And the way most people take themselves very very seriously. Don’t get me wrong, life is hard (especially in the US), but I’ve met VERY few people in the US who can make fun at their own expense - which is considered the norm where I’m from. Not saying one is better that the other - just the biggest difference for me

smedeby11 Report

#26

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Town and school spirit are a very big thing here. No one takes high school sports this seriously back in my old school in India

nannydee08 , wikipedia Report

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one takes high school sports this seriously in the entire world. Being a professional cheerleader? Only in the US.

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#27

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Sales tax not being included in the price (got pretty used to it after 4 years, but it still occasionally caught me off guard).

Healthcare bills.

Tailgating on highway (even people complaining about tailgaters were themselves often tailgating).

Porch sitting, people sitting on their porch and watching passers by.

Distances (drove coast to coast, I thought it would never end).

Most men being pretty knowledgable about cars.

Drive thru ATMs, never stopped being funny to me for some reason.

bolyai , Pictures of Money Report

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Evil Little Thing
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's weird about porch sitting and knowing about cars? One is relaxing and the other is super helpful.

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#28

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To People saying they will pray for me. Either in aggression to insult me by saying I need to be prayed for (as sometimes I can be an a-hole or a victim of prejudice). Or, they are trying to be empathetic when told of a sad/unfortunate situation. Of course, I don't ever doubt that they'll remember.

Zooty007 , Paul David Report

#29

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Younger Ppl calling adults by (just) their first name. I'm from the Caribbean so can't help but referring to ppl as Mr or Ms. Even if Im familiar with them.

R8em , Luigi Tiriticco Report

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Music Mania
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This just depends on where you are. Where I am everyone is Sir or Ma'am, regardless of age. Calling people you are familiar with by Mr. or Ms. "their name" is up to that person, some people feel it makes them sound older than they want to feel so prefer to be called by just their first name.

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#30

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To According to my parents, it was people giving them thumbs up.

In their country of origin, thumbs up = middle finger in the US. So they kept jumping thinking they were being flipped off by random people. Took years for them to get used to it and understand no one was trying to insult them.

Master-Manipulation , Sarah Reid Report

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mntncrone
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When visiting Turkey I had to train myself to give the thumbs up, instead of the OK sign, which they consider offensive. Goes to show you - know the culture you're in, and adapt.

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