Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To
Grabbing coffee to-go, laughing so loud the windows tremble, and keeping your shoes on when walking into someone’s home don’t raise a single American brow. But it’s a whole different story if we are talking non-Americans who moved to the land of the free and are just getting used to things the American way.
So when one Reddit user put up a question “Non-Americans who moved to the US, what are some social customs that have been the hardest for you to get used to?” on r/AskReddit, people who left their native lands had a whole bunch of stuff to comment on.
From showing thumbs up, which is considered rude in foreign countries, to finding potluck dinners super odd, and realizing bidets are off the map, these are some of the most illuminating answers people shared.
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Still blows my mind that healthcare isn't free, and people actually go bankrupt, legitimately bankrupt, from medical bills.
The work culture! You get so few vacation days and most people didn't use them all for fear of what it looks like. In the UK, if we don't use all our days, HR will normally ask us if everything is okay
Being an American that works for a European company I'm still jealous that my employees who sit in Switzerland and Germany get almost double the days off that I do.
Strangers asking you what church you go to. Or the rather competitive nature of religion here. It seems less important to actually believe and more important to let people know how much you believe.
Best part is that you can have your own church, find some gullible people and live like a king on the expense of the poor fools that believe in you and you can even apply for tax exemptions. Being a televangelist is very profitable in the US.
Saying "I'm Irish" but they haven't been to Ireland and neither have their parents.
There's a man where I work who claims he's 7% viking and gets really offended when anyone makes fun of him.
The pride people have in being unhealthy, ignoring serious symptoms, proudly eating like crap, proudly not exercising. And yet having the most expensive health care system in the world and refusing to accept alternatives. "that's whack man"
The crazy giant gaps in bathroom stalls. It drives me insane. My partner told me that it's there to prevent people from doing drugs/having sex. But I still don't understand why I need to see everyone while I poop.
I'm from Israel.
Keeping my shoes on when walking into someone's home. I feel like a barbarian
Same here!! I find it so weird in movies that they're in the house with their shoes still on. I'm like, give your feet a break ffs!!
There is a toot-your-own-horn culture here in my experience that I find hard to deal with, especially in the workplace. It's not usually a typical someone saying they're good at something, it's more about making themselves out to be better and top-dog.
I'm from the UK and I'd say we are kind of modest.
Also, writing the date, I just can't get used to writing it with the month first.
Tipping culture is so alien to me as an Australian. I always over-tipped because I was never sure — some people would react like I'd made their day for what I thought wasn't a big tip. Coincidentally, I forgot to tip a bartender once and I was made to feel like the worst person ever
Pledge of allegiance. There's literally no other country that I've ever been to that does this! This is so strange and I feel so uncomfortable whether or not I do it.
Using the word "patriotic" in a good way. Seriously, I'd always thought it meant "blindly loving your country and think it's the best", which that definition would fit a lot of Americans better.
Not a social custom, but when i returned from my study abroad in Europe back to the US, I realized how enormous everything is here. The houses, cars, stores, drinks, food portions, and unfortunately many of the people.
Saying "hi how are you?" to strangers and nobody actually answering the question.
The size of food serving when going out to eat.
Thanksgiving and black friday.
And lastly, the fact that every form I have to fill out, they ask my race.
I guess these are not technically social customs, or maybe they are, but I find all of the above very strange. Ugh, I'll never get used to living here.
I always wonder about that race thingy. If a person has three Caucasian grandparents and one African-American - are they supposed to check the African-American box? Why? The Caucasian box? Both? These would be logical for me. Or is it depending on their looks? But then, everyone in the family could be different.
The politicization of everything
Drives a lot of people from here nuts too. I can't tell you how many times I've yelled at someone that wearing a mask isn't a political issue.
That Fahrenheit nonsense. I just never bothered to learn, always converted to Celsius, and then I ended up moving to Canada. I knew it would pay off to never learn.
A friend of mine is Russian. Her parents came to Russia and were still getting used to America. In Russia when you are pulled over by the police you get of the car and walk over to them. Her dad got pulled over and so he got out and started walking towards them. He didn’t know you are supposed to stay in the car. He learned that lesson very quickly.
He didn’t die they didn’t even shoot at him. He did get arrested though.
Sounding like someone cares about you or your answers when they talk, when all they really care is following their scripts, for tip, sales revenue, door sales etc. The tipping culture. Why tell a burger costs $9.99 when with tax you are supposed to pay $11.25 and are supposed to tip at least 20% to not seem like a cheapskate? When the waitstaff works for under $3 a hour... just make it $15 and pay adequately, please
My wife is an immigrant so I'll pass on that she struggled with.
The way many American families raise their children until age 18, then send them out the door to make it or beak it in the world. In many other countries, you never stop helping your children by paying for more education (Vo-Tech or college/university) and trying to avoid student loans, they always have a place to live free of rent, and are quite involved in everyday life of the parents, even if just by phone.
I can't imagine not helping my child when he's over 18. I'm his mother. He can be 60 (and I'll be 77 lol) and I'll still help him.
I moved to Minnesota two years ago. At first I thought I would make friends super easy because people where really friendly but I soon learnt that nobody wanted to make friends. I was mistaking people’s inquisitive nature and need to overshare for genuine friendship foundation laying. I’m from the UK and usually if someone asks you for a beer and chat they want to get to know you, here in the US I’m just an interesting story to tell their real friends about. I found this upsetting at first, but I stopped caring and I did actually make a few good friends in the end.
The alcohol laws, in the UK you can drink in private from a very young age as long as you have parental consent and can have one beer/cider/glass of wine in a restaurant as long as you have a meal with it. In America, I tried to hand a pint to my Dad from a bar and the barman started shouting at me telling me to put it down because I wasn’t 21
But you could join the army and "liberate" some country and in the process kill as many people as you want.
How hard it is to make friends in the USA. It seemed pretty easy from where I came (Europe), but after 20 years in the USA, I still don't have friends here.
I've lived here my entire life, and other than my sister, I have no real friends. Acquaintances, but no friends.
I still don't know how to get invited to parties, so there's that.
Also the drug TV ads with the long disclaimers while showing video of happy people living their lives. Really weird.
I'm from New Zealand.
Lack of vacation days.
Weird health system tied to employment.
Food portions.
Otherwise it is a pretty easy adjustment.
Pounds. Ounces. Feet. Miles. I could never get the hang of it.
That fake condescending voice people use. I'm not a toddler looking for his mama; talk like a normal person.
Not only an American problem. In my country it's a way of speaking that a lot of people in the medical profession use. "You may now take off your shirt so I can examine you." I always answer like: "Well thank you, your majesty, should I kneel and bow down to your mighty stethoscope? "
The lack of irony in general. And the way most people take themselves very very seriously. Don’t get me wrong, life is hard (especially in the US), but I’ve met VERY few people in the US who can make fun at their own expense - which is considered the norm where I’m from. Not saying one is better that the other - just the biggest difference for me
Town and school spirit are a very big thing here. No one takes high school sports this seriously back in my old school in India
No one takes high school sports this seriously in the entire world. Being a professional cheerleader? Only in the US.
Sales tax not being included in the price (got pretty used to it after 4 years, but it still occasionally caught me off guard).
Healthcare bills.
Tailgating on highway (even people complaining about tailgaters were themselves often tailgating).
Porch sitting, people sitting on their porch and watching passers by.
Distances (drove coast to coast, I thought it would never end).
Most men being pretty knowledgable about cars.
Drive thru ATMs, never stopped being funny to me for some reason.
What's weird about porch sitting and knowing about cars? One is relaxing and the other is super helpful.
People saying they will pray for me. Either in aggression to insult me by saying I need to be prayed for (as sometimes I can be an a-hole or a victim of prejudice). Or, they are trying to be empathetic when told of a sad/unfortunate situation. Of course, I don't ever doubt that they'll remember.
Younger Ppl calling adults by (just) their first name. I'm from the Caribbean so can't help but referring to ppl as Mr or Ms. Even if Im familiar with them.
This just depends on where you are. Where I am everyone is Sir or Ma'am, regardless of age. Calling people you are familiar with by Mr. or Ms. "their name" is up to that person, some people feel it makes them sound older than they want to feel so prefer to be called by just their first name.
Times have changed. My friends parents were always "Mrs X" when I was a kid. Now my own kid's friends, kids on her sports team, etc call me by my first name. I don't like being called Mrs anyway. Sounds old. School teachers are the only Mr, Miss, Mrs, Ms in my kid's life. If we don't know someone's name, we don't use anything. No Sir or Ma'am in NZ.
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My name is Mike. Not sir or uncle or mister. My nickname is FrootLoop (long story). You wanna p**s me off? Call me something that isn't my name.
That’s a new thing, my generation used Mr. and Mrs., to this day if someone is older than me I use Mr. and Mrs., I’m 61
I'm 66 & my mom's best friend & her husband were to be called Aunt & uncle.
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In my family we use the title then the name: Gramma so so, aunt so so
I never expected my students to call me Doctor or Professor, but don't use my first name. If they pissed me off, then it's Reverend Doctor for the remainder of the semester.
Load More Replies... Haha I’ve lived in Trinidad and never got used to having to say Mr and Mrs or ma’am and sir. We only use first names in my country
In Sweden, we removed the Mr, Mrs or Ms around 1970. We use first name for everyone. Using Mr, Mrs or Ms feels rather like pushing away people, or a bit condescending, in Swedish.
Same, I feel really uncomfortable when having to call older people by their first names. Only person i do is a really close friends mom
Now that I'm, um, retirement age, some younger folks call me by my first name preceded by "Miss" (shades of Gone With the Wind). But I don't mind if that's more comfortable for them.
Socially, being called Mr. or Mrs. is a barrier. It means you have to be extra polite and deferential to these people. If they are at a social event most Americans don't want barriers between them and others. It can be misleading at a place of employment though. You may work someplace where everyone calls the boss "Elon" or "Mark" but they, and you, must never presume that you are on an equal level. But if I ever meet Donald he'll be "Donald" to me.
I agree and I've lived in U.S. all my life...kids calling teachers by their first names really turns me off.... no matter what grade the kids are in... that's no way to teach respect.
Disagree. Introduces & reinforces the uneven power structure, but doesn't teach respect.
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I'm from the US. But I was brought up (and brought up my children) to never call an adult by anything other than Mr. or Mrs. (there was no Ms. when I was a kid). I'm 60, and still have one of the adults that was a neighbor when I was a kid, and she always tells me to call her by her name, and I just can't.
That drives me nuts, too. I never call people by their first name unless they are much younger than me or they ask me to call them by their first name. And I am 73 years old. And yes, that did include the black people who worked for my mom and dad or who worked at the stores or who I met in a social setting. Respect is respect.
I'm not sure I understand, Lara. Respect is respect, unless someone is much younger than you? And why would skin colour be a consideration?
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According to my parents, it was people giving them thumbs up.
In their country of origin, thumbs up = middle finger in the US. So they kept jumping thinking they were being flipped off by random people. Took years for them to get used to it and understand no one was trying to insult them.
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It is almost like the United States is a separate country with its own traditions and customs. Who would have thought???
There's a bit too many of these "ooh American traditions are weird" posts. We get it, people do things differently in different countries. Who could've known? S**t, even Buzzfeed varies it up by highlighting the customs of other countries. And they're Buzzfeed.
I would love to learn more about the 'weird' traditions in other countries. The US may be different to other countries (though aren't they all?!) but most of them are well known through TV, Films and books.
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Interesting post, but it would be A LOT better if the entries were about different countries. There's no reason to focus only on the U.S.A in a non-American international community, don't you think? The world is big and beautiful, why waste it on things we already know?
Not just that, but... this is like the fifth post I've seen about "Weird Things Americans do." We know... we get it... it's old story. I'm fine informing people about what is going on in the U.S., but I don't see why it has to be the focus of weird cultural things every time. Just reminds me how sh*tty our country is, stop bloody reminding me.
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Just another Americans are dumber than the rest of the world. The all, instead of some, bugs me.
Yep, and every comment pointing out what's exaggerated or untrue gets downvotes.
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Ok so what I am getting from all the comments is that basically anyone who is from another country other than the US is bitching at how we do things and cannot and/or will not accept them. HOWEVER if we dare come to your country, we better do things how you do it or else! Bottom line folks is that if you come to the US, you already know we do things different via the internet, just accept it and learn it. Quit complaining. We are not changing because you think it's weird or confusing or a disgrace or whatever negative adjective you can concoct. Accept it and move on with your life.
A lot of these (the majority) are just made up c**p these people have seen on the internet and mindlessly regurgitate.
Granted I'm from the US, but it seems people are pretty bitter about being here. It's unfortunate. There are good and bad people everywhere, sometimes finding the joy is a personal choice.
Jeez Panda, we get it. America is rude, crude, weird, and just terrible in general. Everyone else is damn near perfect.
So, my takeaway is, if I go out to eat in any other country, I'd better prepare for what I'd call a kid's meal in the US.
So I'm not Slovak because I've never visited the home country of my great-grandparents?
As an American, I'm used to all the "so called" odd habits of Americans. But, if it's so distasteful, why do people rush to come here and have been doing this for many, many years. Stay in your own country where you like everything.
We have a saying here in America, “Delta is ready when you are!” If you don’t enjoy our non-uniform culture and yes, even our screwed up non-metric system of measurement, fly to another part of the country. I assure it will be different. And, if all else fails, fly your sorry a*s back home. There are literally million who would like to take your place.
It is almost like the United States is a separate country with its own traditions and customs. Who would have thought???
There's a bit too many of these "ooh American traditions are weird" posts. We get it, people do things differently in different countries. Who could've known? S**t, even Buzzfeed varies it up by highlighting the customs of other countries. And they're Buzzfeed.
I would love to learn more about the 'weird' traditions in other countries. The US may be different to other countries (though aren't they all?!) but most of them are well known through TV, Films and books.
Load More Replies... Interesting post, but it would be A LOT better if the entries were about different countries. There's no reason to focus only on the U.S.A in a non-American international community, don't you think? The world is big and beautiful, why waste it on things we already know?
Not just that, but... this is like the fifth post I've seen about "Weird Things Americans do." We know... we get it... it's old story. I'm fine informing people about what is going on in the U.S., but I don't see why it has to be the focus of weird cultural things every time. Just reminds me how sh*tty our country is, stop bloody reminding me.
Load More Replies... Just another Americans are dumber than the rest of the world. The all, instead of some, bugs me.
Yep, and every comment pointing out what's exaggerated or untrue gets downvotes.
Load More Replies... Ok so what I am getting from all the comments is that basically anyone who is from another country other than the US is bitching at how we do things and cannot and/or will not accept them. HOWEVER if we dare come to your country, we better do things how you do it or else! Bottom line folks is that if you come to the US, you already know we do things different via the internet, just accept it and learn it. Quit complaining. We are not changing because you think it's weird or confusing or a disgrace or whatever negative adjective you can concoct. Accept it and move on with your life.
A lot of these (the majority) are just made up c**p these people have seen on the internet and mindlessly regurgitate.
Granted I'm from the US, but it seems people are pretty bitter about being here. It's unfortunate. There are good and bad people everywhere, sometimes finding the joy is a personal choice.
Jeez Panda, we get it. America is rude, crude, weird, and just terrible in general. Everyone else is damn near perfect.
So, my takeaway is, if I go out to eat in any other country, I'd better prepare for what I'd call a kid's meal in the US.
So I'm not Slovak because I've never visited the home country of my great-grandparents?
As an American, I'm used to all the "so called" odd habits of Americans. But, if it's so distasteful, why do people rush to come here and have been doing this for many, many years. Stay in your own country where you like everything.
We have a saying here in America, “Delta is ready when you are!” If you don’t enjoy our non-uniform culture and yes, even our screwed up non-metric system of measurement, fly to another part of the country. I assure it will be different. And, if all else fails, fly your sorry a*s back home. There are literally million who would like to take your place.
