Grabbing coffee to-go, laughing so loud the windows tremble, and keeping your shoes on when walking into someone’s home don’t raise a single American brow. But it’s a whole different story if we are talking non-Americans who moved to the land of the free and are just getting used to things the American way.

So when one Reddit user put up a question “Non-Americans who moved to the US, what are some social customs that have been the hardest for you to get used to?” on r/AskReddit, people who left their native lands had a whole bunch of stuff to comment on.

From showing thumbs up, which is considered rude in foreign countries, to finding potluck dinners super odd, and realizing bidets are off the map, these are some of the most illuminating answers people shared.

#1

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Still blows my mind that healthcare isn't free, and people actually go bankrupt, legitimately bankrupt, from medical bills.

graygreen , Images Money Report

BorPand8
Community Member
1 year ago

Medical bills are the #1 cause of bankruptcy in the US. Google says it's at around 2/3 and rising.

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#2

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To The work culture! You get so few vacation days and most people didn't use them all for fear of what it looks like. In the UK, if we don't use all our days, HR will normally ask us if everything is okay

ObjectiveTumbleweed2 , Karl Bedingfield Report

YupItsMe1234
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

Being an American that works for a European company I'm still jealous that my employees who sit in Switzerland and Germany get almost double the days off that I do.

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#3

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Strangers asking you what church you go to. Or the rather competitive nature of religion here. It seems less important to actually believe and more important to let people know how much you believe.

RCKJD , Guilherme Colombo Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 year ago

Best part is that you can have your own church, find some gullible people and live like a king on the expense of the poor fools that believe in you and you can even apply for tax exemptions. Being a televangelist is very profitable in the US.

BusLady
Community Member
1 year ago

I once worked for Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs Co. Dont ask what I thought of the Dobsons. They didn't focus on anybody's family. Just in it for the money.

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Pascale Ehrmann
Community Member
1 year ago

Here in France religion is more of a private matter, and you don't really talk about it with people you don't know.

Pseudo Puppy
Community Member
1 year ago

Pascale, having lived in many countries, this is my experience too .... except in the US. :(

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Viviane
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

In Canada, religion is generally considered a personal matter. At one work place, we knew that two colleagues were evangelical Christians. The one who constantly brought up his faith was laughed at, but the one who discussed a variety of topics got along fine with the non-believers. As for religion in government, the approach is similar. Hence a devout Catholic, Paul Martin, presented a bill for same-sex marriage in 2005, saying "it is the right thing to do."

Aunt Messy
Community Member
1 year ago

When we moved to the US (Toronto to Texas, shell shock) someone asked me what church we went to. I said, "None." ...///... All of a sudden, I had to drive to another town to get dry cleaning done, go to a hardware store, go to a bakery, and buy tires.....because religious bigotry is considered all right there. People refused to serve us because we didn't go to the local megachurch.

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Cristina S.
Community Member
1 year ago

For people saying this is nonsense, it depends on the part of the US you’re living in. I lived in New England, no one asked me about my religious affiliation. I moved to the “Bible Belt” aka the Southeast, and the minute we got into our house we had numerous neighbors asking our religious preferences and “if we found a church yet.” The road leading to our old house had no less than 15 different churches on it. It’s because people can claim to be “non-denominational Christian” and start their own church.

averageperson
Community Member
1 year ago

I agree. It's a very regional thing.

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Jo Choto
Community Member
1 year ago

Yeah, I used to get asked that a lot. I learned really quickly that saying the word "atheist" in America draws the kinds of reactions you would get if you say "I kill and eat babies" in any other part of the world.

BorPand8
Community Member
1 year ago

Yep. You'll see small towns with a church on practically every corner.

BusLady
Community Member
1 year ago

Even in a small town there is a Church on every corner.

Ronnie Beaton
Community Member
1 year ago

I'm from Scotland, and when I was a kid back in the 70s, and I made a friend outside our usual social circle my mother would casually ask "What school do they go to?" Which is just a polite and genteel way of asking "church or chapel", Protestant or Catholic.

Andreas Deml
Community Member
1 year ago

you-just-h...46e31d.jpg you-just-have-to-believe_fb_448326-5f3d52146e31d.jpg

Sasha Kuleshov
Community Member
1 year ago

The Church of Money! ;D

Sue Prewitt
Community Member
1 year ago

NEVER seen this, ever

Lynn Cai
Community Member
1 year ago

I don't know, but as an American, I have yet to have one person ask me what church I go to. I have lived in both major metropolitan areas as well as less urban areas.

ArhomR
Community Member
1 year ago

It’s surprising the number of down votes for having a reasonable comment on this subject.

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Mimi777
Community Member
1 year ago

Especially when you live in a small southern town some people look at you differently when you tell them you’re not Christian. And a few times had people try to convert us and literally wouldn’t stop. We Just had to stop talking to them.

Kelly Hartle
Community Member
1 year ago

Those strangers are either trying to find a connection with you or seeing if you're someone they "should" be bigoted against.

Pseudo Puppy
Community Member
1 year ago

Huge difference between actions and words...... :(

Debbie Lambert
Community Member
1 year ago

As a proud Democrat, I am questioned on where I go to church, as if that has anything to do with it.

Tim Bijlsma
Community Member
1 year ago

I'm in the church of spaghetti and chilli

politecat 42
Community Member
1 year ago

REPENT AND FIND JESUS

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BUMMERS
Community Member
1 year ago

If we don't ask what church you go to, how will we know who to hate?

BUMMERS
Community Member
1 year ago

If we don;t ask what church you go to, how will we know who to hate?

Steve Cruz
Community Member
1 year ago

I'm an atheist -- after three decades doing religion -- and I love to reply in a friendly tone: "I'm not superstitious." That really sets off religious people, who seem to need my agreement to feel good about their imagination.

Sean Harrison
Community Member
1 year ago

Virtue signaling is a way of life in the USA.

Carol Lewis
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I've lived in California, Texas, Montana and Tennessee and have never been asked what church I go to. I'm 64 years old. This is nonsense.

politecat 42
Community Member
1 year ago

Ok boomer

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#4

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Saying "I'm Irish" but they haven't been to Ireland and neither have their parents.

Big_Appointment1200 , wikipedia Report

Treessimontrees
Community Member
1 year ago

There's a man where I work who claims he's 7% viking and gets really offended when anyone makes fun of him.

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#5

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To The pride people have in being unhealthy, ignoring serious symptoms, proudly eating like crap, proudly not exercising. And yet having the most expensive health care system in the world and refusing to accept alternatives. "that's whack man"

Barry_Boots , D.L. Report

Daria Z
Community Member
1 year ago

This is just sad 😢

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#6

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To The crazy giant gaps in bathroom stalls. It drives me insane. My partner told me that it's there to prevent people from doing drugs/having sex. But I still don't understand why I need to see everyone while I poop.

I'm from Israel.

adometze , ttarasiuk Report

Tovah Roche
Community Member
1 year ago

I'm American and it drives me insane too.

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#7

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Keeping my shoes on when walking into someone's home. I feel like a barbarian

fidelkastro , Heather Report

troufaki13
Community Member
1 year ago

Same here!! I find it so weird in movies that they're in the house with their shoes still on. I'm like, give your feet a break ffs!!

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#8

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To There is a toot-your-own-horn culture here in my experience that I find hard to deal with, especially in the workplace. It's not usually a typical someone saying they're good at something, it's more about making themselves out to be better and top-dog.

I'm from the UK and I'd say we are kind of modest.

Also, writing the date, I just can't get used to writing it with the month first.

Spiralstatic32 Report

varwenea
Community Member
1 year ago

My logic - YYYY-MM-DD. Using this method, all my files in the same folder are always in the right order even if I edit older ones.

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#9

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Tipping culture is so alien to me as an Australian. I always over-tipped because I was never sure — some people would react like I'd made their day for what I thought wasn't a big tip. Coincidentally, I forgot to tip a bartender once and I was made to feel like the worst person ever

isometricbacon , wikipedia Report

B Dus
Community Member
1 year ago

If an employer would pay his employees a decent salary, this wouldn't be a problem. I'm from Europe and only tip when the service or food was beyond expectations.

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#10

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Pledge of allegiance. There's literally no other country that I've ever been to that does this! This is so strange and I feel so uncomfortable whether or not I do it.

Using the word "patriotic" in a good way. Seriously, I'd always thought it meant "blindly loving your country and think it's the best", which that definition would fit a lot of Americans better.

thoughtsmachine , Michigan Municipal League Report

Eglė Bukauskaitė
Community Member
1 year ago

we used to do that in Soviet times..

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#11

Not a social custom, but when i returned from my study abroad in Europe back to the US, I realized how enormous everything is here. The houses, cars, stores, drinks, food portions, and unfortunately many of the people.

soulsista12 Report

Joeshar
Community Member
1 year ago

Big Gulp: 1Lt of beverage in a cup. And people are drinking it while driving.

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#12

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Saying "hi how are you?" to strangers and nobody actually answering the question.

The size of food serving when going out to eat.

Thanksgiving and black friday.

And lastly, the fact that every form I have to fill out, they ask my race.

I guess these are not technically social customs, or maybe they are, but I find all of the above very strange. Ugh, I'll never get used to living here.

sick_sadlittleworld , wikipedia Report

Tiari
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

I always wonder about that race thingy. If a person has three Caucasian grandparents and one African-American - are they supposed to check the African-American box? Why? The Caucasian box? Both? These would be logical for me. Or is it depending on their looks? But then, everyone in the family could be different.

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#13

The politicization of everything

Hugo28Boss Report

Music Mania
Community Member
1 year ago

Drives a lot of people from here nuts too. I can't tell you how many times I've yelled at someone that wearing a mask isn't a political issue.

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#14

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To That Fahrenheit nonsense. I just never bothered to learn, always converted to Celsius, and then I ended up moving to Canada. I knew it would pay off to never learn.

THIR13EN , wikipedia Report

Joeshar
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

Feet-Inch-Yard are the worst. The label at the back of the truck says "keep 30 feet distance" your math should be good while driving.

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#15

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To A friend of mine is Russian. Her parents came to Russia and were still getting used to America. In Russia when you are pulled over by the police you get of the car and walk over to them. Her dad got pulled over and so he got out and started walking towards them. He didn’t know you are supposed to stay in the car. He learned that lesson very quickly.
He didn’t die they didn’t even shoot at him. He did get arrested though.

meh2557 , wikipedia Report

Pamela24
Community Member
1 year ago

"They didn't even shoot at him." - That sounds like that wouldn't be surprising if that happened. That's so scary - if he was not running at them, being aggressive or had a gun on him - why should that be an option?

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#16

Sounding like someone cares about you or your answers when they talk, when all they really care is following their scripts, for tip, sales revenue, door sales etc. The tipping culture. Why tell a burger costs $9.99 when with tax you are supposed to pay $11.25 and are supposed to tip at least 20% to not seem like a cheapskate? When the waitstaff works for under $3 a hour... just make it $15 and pay adequately, please

donottouchthatbrl Report

Bill
Community Member
1 year ago

How does one calculate what they pay in sales tax in VAT counntries?

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#17

My wife is an immigrant so I'll pass on that she struggled with.
The way many American families raise their children until age 18, then send them out the door to make it or beak it in the world. In many other countries, you never stop helping your children by paying for more education (Vo-Tech or college/university) and trying to avoid student loans, they always have a place to live free of rent, and are quite involved in everyday life of the parents, even if just by phone.

Paddington3773 Report

Kisses4Katie
Community Member
1 year ago

I can't imagine not helping my child when he's over 18. I'm his mother. He can be 60 (and I'll be 77 lol) and I'll still help him.

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#18

I moved to Minnesota two years ago. At first I thought I would make friends super easy because people where really friendly but I soon learnt that nobody wanted to make friends. I was mistaking people’s inquisitive nature and need to overshare for genuine friendship foundation laying. I’m from the UK and usually if someone asks you for a beer and chat they want to get to know you, here in the US I’m just an interesting story to tell their real friends about. I found this upsetting at first, but I stopped caring and I did actually make a few good friends in the end.

BusyBeatle Report

Joeshar
Community Member
1 year ago

And fake excitements in the chat. "Woow, it's amazing, you're kidding" But most of them are fake and just to make you feel they found your story interesting which will be forgotten couple of minutes later.

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#19

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To The alcohol laws, in the UK you can drink in private from a very young age as long as you have parental consent and can have one beer/cider/glass of wine in a restaurant as long as you have a meal with it. In America, I tried to hand a pint to my Dad from a bar and the barman started shouting at me telling me to put it down because I wasn’t 21

Finlay1308 , Smabs Sputzer (1956-2017) Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 year ago

But you could join the army and "liberate" some country and in the process kill as many people as you want.

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#20

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To How hard it is to make friends in the USA. It seemed pretty easy from where I came (Europe), but after 20 years in the USA, I still don't have friends here.

Snaggy4 , imdb Report

Louloubelle
Community Member
1 year ago

I've lived here my entire life, and other than my sister, I have no real friends. Acquaintances, but no friends.

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#21

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To I still don't know how to get invited to parties, so there's that.

Also the drug TV ads with the long disclaimers while showing video of happy people living their lives. Really weird.

Snoo_47873 , Sarah-Rose Report

jamie1707
Community Member
1 year ago

Don't feel bad. I don't know how to get invited to parties either. As for the drug ad: sick sick sick.

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#22

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To I'm from New Zealand.

Lack of vacation days.

Weird health system tied to employment.

Food portions.

Otherwise it is a pretty easy adjustment.

SteveBored , Paul Townsend Report

Vorknkx
Community Member
1 year ago

Some Americans get shocked when I tell them I have nearly 40 paid days off per year... and I end up using them all ;)

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#23

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Pounds. Ounces. Feet. Miles. I could never get the hang of it.

Pin-Weekly , Peat Bakke Report

T Simmons
Community Member
1 year ago

TRY THE UK. We have miles, meters and yards on our road network

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#24

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To That fake condescending voice people use. I'm not a toddler looking for his mama; talk like a normal person.

SirBitcher , Chip Griffin Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 year ago

Not only an American problem. In my country it's a way of speaking that a lot of people in the medical profession use. "You may now take off your shirt so I can examine you." I always answer like: "Well thank you, your majesty, should I kneel and bow down to your mighty stethoscope? "

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#25

The lack of irony in general. And the way most people take themselves very very seriously. Don’t get me wrong, life is hard (especially in the US), but I’ve met VERY few people in the US who can make fun at their own expense - which is considered the norm where I’m from. Not saying one is better that the other - just the biggest difference for me

smedeby11 Report

Joeshar
Community Member
1 year ago

I believe UK is the best place for humour.

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#26

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Town and school spirit are a very big thing here. No one takes high school sports this seriously back in my old school in India

nannydee08 , wikipedia Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
1 year ago

No one takes high school sports this seriously in the entire world. Being a professional cheerleader? Only in the US.

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#27

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Sales tax not being included in the price (got pretty used to it after 4 years, but it still occasionally caught me off guard).

Healthcare bills.

Tailgating on highway (even people complaining about tailgaters were themselves often tailgating).

Porch sitting, people sitting on their porch and watching passers by.

Distances (drove coast to coast, I thought it would never end).

Most men being pretty knowledgable about cars.

Drive thru ATMs, never stopped being funny to me for some reason.

bolyai , Pictures of Money Report

Evil Little Thing
Community Member
1 year ago

What's weird about porch sitting and knowing about cars? One is relaxing and the other is super helpful.

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#28

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To People saying they will pray for me. Either in aggression to insult me by saying I need to be prayed for (as sometimes I can be an a-hole or a victim of prejudice). Or, they are trying to be empathetic when told of a sad/unfortunate situation. Of course, I don't ever doubt that they'll remember.

Zooty007 , Paul David Report

Tiffany Marie
Community Member
1 year ago

Lol. . I hate this almost more then our healthcare system.

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#29

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To Younger Ppl calling adults by (just) their first name. I'm from the Caribbean so can't help but referring to ppl as Mr or Ms. Even if Im familiar with them.

R8em , Luigi Tiriticco Report

Music Mania
Community Member
1 year ago

This just depends on where you are. Where I am everyone is Sir or Ma'am, regardless of age. Calling people you are familiar with by Mr. or Ms. "their name" is up to that person, some people feel it makes them sound older than they want to feel so prefer to be called by just their first name.

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#30

Immigrants Who Moved To The US Say These 30 Social Habits Are Super Hard To Get Used To According to my parents, it was people giving them thumbs up.

In their country of origin, thumbs up = middle finger in the US. So they kept jumping thinking they were being flipped off by random people. Took years for them to get used to it and understand no one was trying to insult them.

Master-Manipulation , Sarah Reid Report

mntncrone
Community Member
1 year ago

When visiting Turkey I had to train myself to give the thumbs up, instead of the OK sign, which they consider offensive. Goes to show you - know the culture you're in, and adapt.

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