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“It Gets Better”: 30 Lies People In This Online Group Convinced Themselves To Believe In To Feel Better About Life
Unfortunately (or not), life isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Being alive inevitably means getting used to stuff not turning out quite the way we planned, misfortune happening for no particular reason, losing loved ones, getting lost, and plenty of other things most of us aren't that thrilled about. However, that "getting used to" and accepting reality for what it is has its challenges.
Recently, Reddit user mynameisnotbecky1 asked fellow community members "What is an untruth people tell themselves to feel better about life or the world they live in?" The post received quite a bit of attention and, as of now, has over 13k answers and almost 30k upvotes. With that being said, Bored Panda invites you to look through some of the best comments we managed to find.
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There's a few but the main one I tell myself if that the people who hurt me are also hurting. As a kid I thought people bullied each other because their lives sucked, and then I realized my life also sucked and I didn't treat other people like that so what was their excuse
"looks don't matter"
I've noticed that this is generally said by attractive people, and people who have never struggled in dating
I believe looks matter as a first impression for sure!! We are all attracted by the looks at first we can't help it cause we don't know anything about the other person! But wait until that extremely good looking person opens the mouth and says: "well, i don't really believe in vaccines and this staff"
People always get what's coming to them.
The reality is that sometimes the people who tormented you all those years ago are likely living pretty good lives.
Yeah, I don't really believe in karma. If there was karma, how come so many really good people get screwed?
Money can’t buy happiness.
Don’t have a house, job, and are starving? Don’t worry, just because you’re poor, doesn’t mean that having a mansion, 5 course meals, or a six digit salary will make you happier!
A positive attitude will make you physically better. As a chick with cancer, I get the “just have the positive attitude” advice a lot … which always irked me. No one who feels like c**p wants to fake a positive mindset to make others feel better. My fave response to someone telling me that (again) was actually from a nurse in the room who said: “Please! I’m seen a whole lot of true b****es survive cancer.” That nurse is forever my hero.
Toxic positivity diminishes the seriousness and weight of whatever your going through.
There is someone out there for everyone. Not everyone finds their partner, there is no rule love must follow.
Yessss! 👏👏👏 I am tired to see how much getting married or living with someone is promoted and pushed to. Living alone is also a perfect civil status and life choice.
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I'm ok with not finding someone. There's a lot of s**t in the fish in the sea lol.
Fact 1. I have been married and I have been in serious long term relationships, but I have never, ever found anyone who was really well suited to me. Fact 2. I have now been single for a long time, and I am completely at peace with that, and happy with myself. If I were to get with someone at this point in my life, they would have to be pretty incredible and able to bring at least as much to the table as I do. That's the wisdom and comfort of age. I think it's a very different thing for young people.
But one that I never believed, but that turned out to be true is that love finds you when you’re not looking for it. I had just turned 39 and was unmarried. I had been engaged three times (two of which I ended), and was now facing 40. So I figured that, if I was going to be single forever, I had better make plans in that direction for the rest of my life. Guess when I met my now husband?
Yes! I had never married, engaged several times and had pretty much resigned myself to being alone and I was okay with that when I met and fell in love and got married at 45 to the most perfect (for me) man I ever could have dreamt of. Sadly, he passed away shortly after our sixth anniversary due to esophageal cancer, but we had each other for eight wonderful years and I cherish every moment we had together.
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You mean and soul mates don’t exist. If they exist then you couldn’t have more than one by definition. But it’s a profoundly stupid concept and not a real thing. You can’t have one let alone multiple. It may feel like it. But ultimately those are just words someone slapped together to explain the feeling of “getting” someone.
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But there is someone out there for everyone! I believe everyone has several people you could be perfectly happy with. Love means you have to work for it too btw. This also does not mean that you everyone must find someone. No, there is someone out there but you can as well perfectly say 'nah, not gonna look, I am happy being single'
I was single (not had any serious relationship) until I found someone in my 40s and got married (I did a bit of work too). I agree, there is someone for everyone, it's just a matter of whether you"d find him/her or not. Whether you choose to search or stay single, try your best to be a happy single and become a better person as you age, not give in to pressure of society, and don't ever, ever settle.
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the secret is not to look for that perfect match ( because thats all BS anyway) its to find someone with a brand of crazy that you can tolerate.
I know plenty of people who have learned to carve some happiness for themselves without a life partner. They decided that they can be happy without having a man or woman clinging to their arms. They fill the companionship void with close friends. If you want a relationship to happen, whether friends or intimate partners, you have to put yourself out there to to meet people. We also need to realize when our standards are unrealistic. Maybe he's not the drop-dead gorgeous Hunkules you were looking for, but he has all the other personality traits that will keep you happy for the next 50 years. Can you live with that? As my mother once told me, "He doesn't have to be perfect. He only has to be perfect for you."
I agree. I'm an introvert but I put myself out there, out of my comfort zone, to find a partner. Turned out my husband's also an introvert who also left his social awkwardness behind to find me. We got married in our 40s :)
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I had no romantic involvements from age 23 to age 33. They were the happiest, most productive, and significant years of my life.
I have chosen to be single for a long time now, and not be defined by who I am with or without. I love being single! And if I like I can have fwb, tinder dates, etc, with all the respect and rules that came with it. Will I die alone? Don't think so, I have made many friends and not concentrate in only one person, so I guess my elderly years will be constantly couch-sufring till one day someone finds me as cold as the beer in my hand.
I've always thought that when I was younger, there are billions of people in the world, I have more chances of winning the lottery! Now I just accept that everyone is a full person, "the other half" is total bull crap
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I dont believe there are such things as "soulmates." It's a cute concept but it just simply doesn't exist. Neither does love at first sight. ATTRACTION at first sight, perhaps, but not love. Love takes time and effort.
You are already complete all by yourself, you do not need a significant other to make you whole. You are, however, free to enjoy spending time with someone. Maybe not your whole life, maybe with more than just one person - whatever makes you happy. And it is no failure if your ways part again later, just try to do what feels right at the given time.
The compatibility thing is BS that's said by people who don't like compromise and allowing their partner to be an individual.
"If I only get this over with , everything is going to be easy!"
Life never runs out of waves to shake you. But while it isn't easy, you do learn to surf better.
Im not an alcoholic , it's not an addiction i can stop whenever i want .. it's just party , birthday, Wednesday or whatever i earned this one and next one !
being like that for 22 years, coming from heavily alcoholic home , sobered up few years ago and it was by far best decision of my life !
"I am going to tell/live MY truth." Your truth is just an excuse for your actions just or not. It's not the objective truth.
Everything happens for a reason
Ugh. I hate this one so much. Same as “it’s gods plan” Like it was Gods plan for children to be molested? Or Oopsie, His bad, the Holocaust didn’t go as planned? What is the reason for horrible things to happen to innocent lives?
“If I fall asleep right now I’ll get X-hours of sleep.”
You’re gonna be awake for a while, honey.
This is so me. I just want more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night. Brain, please, just stop and let me sleep!
That there used to be "The good ole days" when in fact there never was.
Crime doesn’t pay. I know someone that embezzled over $1 million and got probation and has to pay back less than 10% restitution
Religion does more good than bad
Religion is both the reason and the excuse for just about every war that has been fought.
I believe that every single person (me included) think that they are a bit smarter than what they truly are.
Wisdom comes with age.
I have encountered SO many people old enough to be my mum or dad but who act like they're thirteen.
It gets better.
10 years later and you still tell yourself that.
That the majority of people have a good soul and a good heart.
I tell myself this all the time. I’m constantly proven wrong. In reality, the majority of people are selfish and unkind, especially when it comes to other people.
If that were truly the case civilisation would not have survived. The margin may be small, but on balance more people have to be altruistic in order for society to function. Yes, everyone is selfish, but that doesn't mean everyone is unkind. If everyone, *everyone* you meet is unkind, either you are (sub) consciously only remembering the unkind and forgetting the kind, or at worst neutral, OR the common factor is you.
I just saw Dear Evan Hansen. It's way off base when it comes to mental illness and personality disorders, but it comes as no surprise that it was such a hit on Broadway. It leans heavily on all the myths people want to believe. The truth is that reaching out to your family or friends often doesn't help because they have no idea how to help you or might even be partly responsible for your trauma. For some people, depression and anxiety are intractable even with the best possible treatment. Some people are constitutionally incapable of empathy and will always harm those around them
The thruth is that most pwople dont even make the effort or want to help. Most dont want to be around unsuccessful, ill or depresed people because they get uncomfortable. They shut us up with toxic positivity (you have so many options, others have it worse), indiference, attacks (you are being too begative) or they simply leave you
If you just work hard it’ll all work out in end
No it doesn't. I'm so glad for the uprise of workers not just settling. We need to remember to work to live, not live to work.
That the good times we have now --cheap and available gasoline, food in abundance, even pleasant weather-- can continue indefinitely. We will run out of Nitrogen for crop growth, we will exhaust the available crude oil, climate change will catch up with us. Our grandkids will not have the plentiful resources we have enjoyed for decades, period.
For adults specifically: doing your best = success. Don’t get me wrong, doing your best is something to be proud of, but doing your best without preparation/dedication/practice leads to nowhere
Doing your best=somewhere better than where you're at now, even if it's just by 0.001%*
I live for my loved ones. I lost my wife during childbirth and 4 months later my daughter passed away from a heart condition that was inoperable
That the world is just. Karma is a b***h. What’s coming to them. Etc.
“There is light at the end of the tunnel”. Life is the journey inside that tunnel. Sometimes that journey gets hard, other times it gets easier, but we will never reach that light. The idea of a perfect place does not exist, because life itself is not perfect as we always have something to complain about.
God has a plan
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Save the best for last. You might end up filling up your stomach or depleting your energy to the limit before you get to your favourite thing.
Good things come to those who wait. Or that if something's not working out right now, it's because something better is in the works for you. Didn't get the job you really wanted? Something better is coming along! Didn't work out with your partner? Something better is coming along! There are no guarantees in life. Sometimes things work out the way you want them to, and sometimes they don't. There's peace in accepting that.
Everybody wants to feel good about themselves and their lives and it can be really hard. I think younger people are really self-critical and hard on themselves and that makes me sad. They are living in one of the most economically and politically challenging worlds we've ever had and a lot of older people do nothing but piss on them. Celebrate all your small wins and small achievements. Start there. Brushed your hair today? Tick. Showered? Tick. Cleaned teeth? Tick. Said something nice to another human being? Tick. Finished a chore. Tick. Paid a bill. Tick. Faced a messy cupboard and sorted part of it. Tick. Did something nice for yourself. Tick. This stuff REALLY matters and you can love on yourself regardless of what anyone else thinks.
#1 "If I post on reddit I will be automatically smart and socially relevant."
Obese people me they're happy wth their weight/looks. I'm not, I was never, it sucks on every level and I don't believe you. Change is just too hard for you.
They deserve that money. Their loved one was murdered by a (so-called) public servant on camera. We *all* watched him die. We *all* are a part of the system that allowed it to happen. We f*****g owe them something that cannot ever be repaid.
Load More Replies... Save the best for last. You might end up filling up your stomach or depleting your energy to the limit before you get to your favourite thing.
Good things come to those who wait. Or that if something's not working out right now, it's because something better is in the works for you. Didn't get the job you really wanted? Something better is coming along! Didn't work out with your partner? Something better is coming along! There are no guarantees in life. Sometimes things work out the way you want them to, and sometimes they don't. There's peace in accepting that.
Everybody wants to feel good about themselves and their lives and it can be really hard. I think younger people are really self-critical and hard on themselves and that makes me sad. They are living in one of the most economically and politically challenging worlds we've ever had and a lot of older people do nothing but piss on them. Celebrate all your small wins and small achievements. Start there. Brushed your hair today? Tick. Showered? Tick. Cleaned teeth? Tick. Said something nice to another human being? Tick. Finished a chore. Tick. Paid a bill. Tick. Faced a messy cupboard and sorted part of it. Tick. Did something nice for yourself. Tick. This stuff REALLY matters and you can love on yourself regardless of what anyone else thinks.
#1 "If I post on reddit I will be automatically smart and socially relevant."
Obese people me they're happy wth their weight/looks. I'm not, I was never, it sucks on every level and I don't believe you. Change is just too hard for you.
They deserve that money. Their loved one was murdered by a (so-called) public servant on camera. We *all* watched him die. We *all* are a part of the system that allowed it to happen. We f*****g owe them something that cannot ever be repaid.
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