Sometimes we need a little pick me up when life has dealt us a difficult hand, and inspiring quotes are a great way to do that. They are so uplifting they sound like they came straight from your parent's mouth, 'you're special' or 'you can do anything if you put your mind to it,' and let's not forget 'when life gives you lemons make lemonade,' and all the other happy-go-lucky bullcrap of motivational quotes. Well for all the realists out there who are tired of too much sugar in their lemonade, the uninspirational quotes account is back with more funnyinspiring quotes.

Be forewarned these short quotes are not here to make you feel like a special unique snowflake, they are here to remind you that if at first, you don't succeed, you should probably give up and that staying in bed is always the best decision for all the sad people. Scroll down for a healthy serving of sugar-free, sarcastic and hilarious helping of quotes!

#1

At Least In Bed Nothing Can Go Wrong

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Daria B 11 months ago

Well, technically, at a certain point it turns into "too early", so...

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#2

Friendly Reminder

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Hans 11 months ago

It takes many muscles to blur a "U" so that it looks like a U formed with nine pixels only.

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#3

Shrug

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Marta Puig 11 months ago

it's worse because you feel that you cannot relate with the quote, so as a result you feel like a loser but elevated to one million argg omg how I hate the "inspirational" quotes. It's good to say fuck, shit, fuck fuck fuck when you feel bad, it's better to throw papers all around and let the anger loose, much more relaxing than trying to fit in Yesterday I was so pissed off that I kicked a bunch of empty boxes and I felt much better afterwards.

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#4

Because Let’s Face It, They’re Probably Not

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Evgeniya Khon 11 months ago

Amen!

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#5

Double Standards

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diane a 11 months ago

Dogs get depressed too

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#6

Tag A Friend You Hate ! 😏

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cashmeremanufacturer.com 11 months ago

Well, this is so true~

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#7

We Are All Very Concerned About You

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Eirik Johnsbråten 11 months ago

We all have that friend, don't we?

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#8

Life Lessons From

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Rebecca Weeks 11 months ago

Haaaa!

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#9

Learn From The Past

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DeusCurrentMachina O. 11 months ago

Gandhi liked to sleep naked with very young girls. Not saying he molested anyone, but what kind of person likes to lay to sleep with underage naked girls? There's something to think about there, right?

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#10

Believe In Nothing!!!

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Eirik Johnsbråten 11 months ago

Oh, how I wish that was true...

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#11

There Are Plenty Of Fish In The Shitty Shitty Sea

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Cat on a bike 11 months ago

Oh so true...

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#12

Do Some Dating This Weekend

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Marta Puig 11 months ago

and an empty bottle

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#13

It Goes Both Ways, Baby

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Mother Mary Helen 11 months ago

Well obviously

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#14

Have A Great Weak

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Anne 11 months ago

But that's a paradox..

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#15

Weekends Are For Over-Eating

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Danish Dynomummy 11 months ago

Great, then I wont have to worry about the dishes for a couple of days!

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#16

No. Seriously. It's Never Gonna Happen. Give Up

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Night Owl 11 months ago

Punctuation matters

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#17

Just Don’t Do It

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Daria B 11 months ago

This one sounds like Garfield.

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#18

So So So Fucking Jealous

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Night Owl 11 months ago (edited)

Same with cats and I'm jealous of my cat (she has no Idea what's going on and can almost do whatever she wants whenever she wants to and is loved and cared for)

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#19

Lesson Of The Day

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cashmeremanufacturer.com 11 months ago

Look into the deep heart, everyone is terrible in some way~

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#20

Life Goals From

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diane a 11 months ago (edited)

Its called being stinking rich

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#21

I’ll Get Back At You Soon With A Better Answer Ttyl

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BusLady 11 months ago

I need a Twix moment. images-5be...0bcf4.jpeg images-5bed02890bcf4.jpeg

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#22

It’s Just Math

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Marta Puig 11 months ago

and hunger!!!

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#23

Workout Wednesday

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BusLady 11 months ago

OMG, this is about me, isn't it?

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#24

It’s Nice To Have Time Alone

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Marta Puig 11 months ago

usually I rephrase that with I wish I WASN'T here

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#25

This Is All A Losing Game

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Hope Floats 11 months ago

Oh my God.So that's why I've never........

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#26

Everything Ends Badly!!!

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BusLady 11 months ago

Yeah, like those extra spicy tamales I just ate.

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#27

Every. Damn. Night

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BusLady 11 months ago (edited)

Leading cause of insomnia...

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#28

Have Fun With That!

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Shiba Inu 11 months ago

mother trucker, dude! that regret hurt like a buttcheek on a stick!

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#29

This Is The Only Way Many Of Us Are Ever Going To Find Happiness

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Magdalina777 11 months ago

That's actually not a bad idea at all if you look at it closer. For them to never find out, you'd have to try to be on their level, striving up rather than falling down. It is a lot healthier in a way to fall for someone "better" than you so you try to improve yourself to their level instead of the other way round.

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#30

Give Me Naps Or Give Me Death

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BusLady 11 months ago

Unless you have nightmares. 😱

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#31

Have Big Goals And Make Them Come True

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Marta Puig 11 months ago

count me in

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#32

Don’t Wake Me Up Until Monday

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Kenny Kulbiski 11 months ago

And then taking a nap.

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#33

Please. Please. Please.

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Night Owl 11 months ago

Yes, no one gives a damn. Unless someone asks, keep it to yourself.

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#34

Sweet Dreams

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BusLady 11 months ago

In my case, I wouldn't sleep for a month.

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#35

The Night Is Young! Get To Complainin’!!!

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Marta Puig 11 months ago (edited)

complaining my third hobby after sleeping and crying

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#36

And Tonight I’m Going To Eat My Friends

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Magpie 11 months ago

Ok now science gets weird. Glucose ( sugar) solution gives babies in pain, pain relief. There is something in chocolate that helps depressed brains lighten up a little.

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#37

Try It Sometime!!!

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Daria B 11 months ago (edited)

You say best... (you say beeeeeest) when you say nothin' at all ♬♪

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#38

It's Never Too Late To Give Up!

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diane a 11 months ago

Just dont try in the first place

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#39

Sundays Are For Staying In Bed

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Hard 2 Guess 11 months ago

Amateurs. I have charging cable reaching up to my bed. Battery is not running out on me. Not while I am in bed.

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#40

Dream Big!!!

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Eirik Johnsbråten 11 months ago

That's actually oddly inspirational.

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#41

I Regret All The Desserts But I Will Do It Again Anyway

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SykesDaMan 11 months ago

To enjoy it again I guess?

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#42

Aaaaaand I’m Reaaaaally Good At It

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cashmeremanufacturer.com 11 months ago

Mine is sleeping~

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#43

Have A Great Weekend!!!

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Anne 11 months ago

So do what makes you happy.. you know.. with all those things you always said you would do when you knew you were dying. Because you are dying. We all are :)

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#44

Happy Halloween

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Well Hello There 11 months ago

I need to send this to my bff on Halloween

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#45

Happy 4th Of July!!!

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Bonnie Blue Bird 11 months ago

True, so much of life people waste behind their phones taking picture for likes rather than enjoying the experience.

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#46

Sundays Are Great For Breaking Up With Someone

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Sandra Porras 11 months ago

always

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#47

How About Trying This New Method!????

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Jaguarundi 11 months ago

Other people actually have valid opinions and differing points of view?!? OH THE HORROR!

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#48

But You’re Not, So I Don’t

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cashmeremanufacturer.com 11 months ago

If you can love me, then I will try to be your pizza~

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#49

Please Keep It Down Until At Least Tomorrow

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Dorka 11 months ago

My husband before his first 2 coffee every single morning.

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#50

Totally How I Feel Today

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Marta Puig 11 months ago

coffee coffee coffee, I cannot even muster a thought without it

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#51

Almost Every Day

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cashmeremanufacturer.com 11 months ago

OMG, I love sleeping, I hate phone calls and endless jobs~

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#52

Always Plan Ahead

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Jaguarundi 11 months ago

Also ensure that it can't be made into a horrible, scarring, nickname in grade school.

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#53

Sundaysssssssss

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DC 3 months ago

It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you... Should shut the f*ck up and read some bored panda.

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#54

You Think You’re Good At Sex But You’re Probably Not

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Octavia Hansen 11 months ago

If you make love to a virgin . . . they have NOTHING to compare you to . . .

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#55

Hate To Break It To Ya 😛😛😛

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BusLady 11 months ago

No one cares about your stupid rudeness. 😋

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#56

2017

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Sandra Porras 11 months ago

OMG , so right

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#57

Yes. This Is About You

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BusLady 11 months ago (edited)

That's when you say "Well, you're not the one wearing it, then."

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#58

Literally. Nothing. Matters.

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karen snyder 11 months ago

Hey, Guys... There are 60 other messages of hate, anger, self loathing, loneliness, apathy and despair. This is entertainment, not life coaching.

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#59

🎶🎶🎶happiness Is A Diseaseeeeeee 🎶🎶🎶

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cashmeremanufacturer.com 11 months ago

You mean you want me to live like a zombie?

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#60

Too Real? (

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Freya the Wanderer 11 months ago

Valentine's Day is hard on two kinds of people: Those who are in a committed relationship, and those who aren't. Valentine's Day sucks.

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#61

2017 In A Nutshell

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BusLady 11 months ago

Everything that's fun.

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