As promising as dating apps can be, using them often feels like a constant cycle of matching and ghosting. One moment, you're hitting it off with someone, the next you're wondering how can a person be this delusional.
So we at Bored Panda decided to dig deeper and figure out what keeps us in this limbo. Below, you will find a list of people explaining why they got unmatched, and it perfectly illustrates the chaotic reality of modern dating.
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OH GOD NOT THE REMOTES 😭 i have trouble finding them when in they’re stuck in the couch there’s no way i would look on top of the facking fridge 😭😭
As dating coach Hayley Quinn explained to Bored Panda for our publication on the best Tinder profiles, you can never know if you will hit it off with someone you matched on a dating app because most will have people seeking a mix of relationship styles.
"If you are looking for something casual, Feeld app specializes in offering explicitly casual connections: as you may imagine profiles are more 'visual'. On the other hand, a platform like Match has a huge amount of criteria you can search for online, making it better adapted to people seeking meaningful connections. The trick here is to really identify what relationship you're seeking, then clearly communicate that through your profile and opening messages," Quinn explained.
if i ever to decide to have a child i am now naming it megatron hands down
The dating coach thinks that being unique is very important in online dating. "With so much choice it's too easy for people to become banner blind and not realize what an amazing option you are," she said. "In terms of quick fixes make sure your profile is a cliche-free zone ('looking for my partner in crime...') and that you always state things specifically rather than generally."
"For example, saying, 'I like to travel,' is nowhere near as attention-grabbing as, 'already googling my first post lockdown trip to Thailand. (Sidenote: do you like Thai food?)' Finally, ensure you write your profiles in a way that's conversational and informal: a fun hack to help you with this is to dictate your profile first, to get more of your personality into it."
*them having a while romance novel going on in the youtube comment section as people just surreptitiously read the drama*
With so many dating websites and apps out there, it has become normal to use online dating to meet someone—there are about 40 million Americans who do so.
And even though eHarmony claims that 27% of young adults are using online dating sites (which is up 10% from 2013), new findings suggest it's neither better nor worse than getting to know a person in real life. At least in terms of success rate.
One study, published in the journal Psychological Science, claims it's actually impossible to figure out whether or not people who have the same values and character traits will fall in love. "Attraction for a particular person may be difficult or impossible to predict before two people have actually met," Samantha Joel, a University of Utah psychology professor and lead author, said in a press release.
"A relationship is more than the sum of its parts. There is a shared experience that happens when you meet someone that can’t be predicted beforehand," Joel explained.
The paper, which used speed-dating data, confirmed what online dating skeptics have been saying for years: computer-based algorithms can't predict if two people will feel that indescribable connection, that special something. Yes, computers might be able to predict how much someone would desire someone else, or how much they would have in common, but they probably can't pinpoint exactly what makes two people fall in love (yet).
Oh well, anyone fancy a crab leg meat sandwich? I’m vegetarian myself but somehow I just enjoy making sandwiches out of crab legs my friends always waste on dinners. Making it, not eating it. Then they eat it too. (Ok now I’ve just realized, it seems like all the food they order at restaurants, none of them are purely vegetables. Is this normal, vegetarians people with non-vegetarian friends)
After they ran the numbers, the researchers were surprised to discover that they were unable to predict even one couple that was a match. "We found we cannot anticipate how much individuals will uniquely desire each other in a speed-dating context with any meaningful level of accuracy," Joel explained.
"I thought that out of more than 100 predictors, we would be able to predict at least some portion of the variance. I didn't expect we would find zero."
Wrong person - th guy who dumped her is in recovery
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I can't drink, for medical reasons. When I was still in the dating scene, I can't tell you how often it happened that I'd get matched with someone, we'd start talking on the phone, I'd invite them over for dinner, they'd ask what kind of wine they should bring, and I'd say, "Makes no difference to me, if you want some, bring some, but I can't drink." Suddenly they can't wait to get off the phone, but they still insist that "of course we'll get together on Friday!" *This* Friday comes and goes with no further contact, *next* Friday comes and goes, and that's when it dawns on me that somehow, "I can't drink, so bring whatever you want" apparently means, "You disgusting alcoholic, how dare you!" *Eyeroll*
"Makes no difference to me." There are better ways to answer the question authentically and without getting prejudged..."something that would pair well with a XXxX type of dish. I dont have a lot of opportunity to keep much in the house." Then let them know while youre opening then bottle for them about the medical reasons...
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His loss, but I'll add this perspective. I've always been a one-glass of white wine drinker, maybe two if I'm on vacation or it's a celebration that goes on for hours. In the early days, many of my friends were heavy drinkers, blackout drunks, etc. So now they're in recovery for the rest of their lives. Some are cool if people drink around them, and some struggle. If we go out, I feel lousy ordering a drink in front of them, so I get iced tea which is fine, but sometimes I would have really enjoyed a glass of wine with my dinner. Maybe people are projecting they'll have to make a sacrifice they're not willing to make.
This one is though. I don't think any of them were in the wrong really and I understand the unmatch. I have a love hate relationship with alcohol, it has created issues in the past and I have decided the best action is to stay sober. I'm mostly fine with people drinking around me (get-togethers, parties, after work etc) but I do secretly feel very uncomfortable when I go out in a more close/intimate setting with my partner (or a close friend) for dinner for example and they drink a couple drinks and get tipsy while I sip on water. And I can understand that someone who drinks want to be able to drink in those situations and the other persons discomfort could bring them down. I wouldn't date me if I was a drinker and if I was dating now I wouldn't choose someone who found beer/wine to be their first important question.
Way to go, OP! You dodged a bullet with that one ... Unless I'm misunderstanding things
My response word-for-word: That is frickin' great! Happy for you :) How about we meet up for coffee? I know a place with good coffee and killer deserts, well, killer for me anyway :) XD
Ultimately, it all boils down to trial and error.
"In the world of online dating, there's going to be some people who are excited to meet someone tomorrow, others that are just dipping in and out of the app when they're watching Netflix!" Quinn said. "By asking someone for a date, or a phone number, sooner rather than later you may do a good job of filtering out people who aren't on the same page as you."
Either someone played with his profile or he's so far in the closet that his aß is chilling in Narnia
*WHEEZE* not the chatting over google docs my little sister talks with her school friends that way 💀💀
She was imagining what your bedsheets smell like. She’s not wrong.
Note: this post originally had 53 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.
Online dating is wild, but most of these were unmatched for having a sense of humour?? I have a bf, but if it ever ends, l'm doomed.
Exactly what I said. They seemed to get mad and unmatch when I was impressed with the comebacks/responses.
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Are these real reflections of the dating world? These people cannot construct a coherent, grammatically correct sentence with accompanying punctuation. This is embarrassing.
If you can understand and comprehend what they're saying, I don't see an issue. If you can't, and you really do want to know what they are saying. Then just ask, lol. But I think we both know you already know what's being conveyed.
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I think these posts are a prime example as to why people are having such a hard time dating these days, most people make snap judgments in the moment (no one is at their best all the time), rather than spending time to get to know someone. They treat dating like they are picking something off a menu, thinking they can pick "just the right person".
I think you've got it 100%. If everyone on these sites considered every single match as a real possibility, they'd have a few serious relationships and eventually settle down. Instead, half of them unmatch or stop talking after the slightest indication of a difference of opinion or unaligned interests - which honestly is what makes most friendships or relationships interesting - and then eventually give up on it altogether. It's a shame.
Load More Replies... Back in the day when I spent way too much time on icq I was chatting for a while with this Canadian guy who was in the navy or something. One day he sends me pics of his biiiiig muscular arms and chest and asks me if I find him handsome. I tell him that I honestly find him to be too muscular. He blocked me right there. Lol. So his big-o-rexia was hurt by some rando girl on the other side of the planet. Talk about a fragile macho-ness! 😁
I was just saying today how I find super muscular guys unattractive. My husband said I had nothing to worry about. LOL.
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I matched with a girl one time who was vegetarian. I'm most definitely not a vegetarian but she knew that and otherwise seemed nice enough. However, she got really mad at me when she mentioned eating fish and I was like "wait, i thought you were a vegetarian". By definition, that makes no sense. To start with, I was genuinely confused. But then she started talking down to me, so I sent something sarcastic about how I never knew there was such a thing as a plant-based fish and she blocked me 😆
Honestly, many of these are funny; some are even witty. Did a sense of humor die at the same time proper spelling and grammar disappeared?
a bit harsh. And not true even historically. I met one of my partners on one. So... if I were to write up my resumé here, you'd definitely not say "loser". I'm so totally comfortable with the idea of non-loserness that I am totally comfortable telling you I did and do use them. So, maybe you can explain WHY you thought they were for losers? Is it because it implied they weren't going out at night? In my case, I would go out in person 2-3x per week. Bars, clubs, etc. Never met anyone worth my time. Mostly vapid and drunk. Dating site allowed me a degree of filtering never before seen.
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Online dating is wild, but most of these were unmatched for having a sense of humour?? I have a bf, but if it ever ends, l'm doomed.
Exactly what I said. They seemed to get mad and unmatch when I was impressed with the comebacks/responses.
Load More Replies... Are these real reflections of the dating world? These people cannot construct a coherent, grammatically correct sentence with accompanying punctuation. This is embarrassing.
If you can understand and comprehend what they're saying, I don't see an issue. If you can't, and you really do want to know what they are saying. Then just ask, lol. But I think we both know you already know what's being conveyed.
Load More Replies... I think these posts are a prime example as to why people are having such a hard time dating these days, most people make snap judgments in the moment (no one is at their best all the time), rather than spending time to get to know someone. They treat dating like they are picking something off a menu, thinking they can pick "just the right person".
I think you've got it 100%. If everyone on these sites considered every single match as a real possibility, they'd have a few serious relationships and eventually settle down. Instead, half of them unmatch or stop talking after the slightest indication of a difference of opinion or unaligned interests - which honestly is what makes most friendships or relationships interesting - and then eventually give up on it altogether. It's a shame.
Load More Replies... Back in the day when I spent way too much time on icq I was chatting for a while with this Canadian guy who was in the navy or something. One day he sends me pics of his biiiiig muscular arms and chest and asks me if I find him handsome. I tell him that I honestly find him to be too muscular. He blocked me right there. Lol. So his big-o-rexia was hurt by some rando girl on the other side of the planet. Talk about a fragile macho-ness! 😁
I was just saying today how I find super muscular guys unattractive. My husband said I had nothing to worry about. LOL.
Load More Replies... I matched with a girl one time who was vegetarian. I'm most definitely not a vegetarian but she knew that and otherwise seemed nice enough. However, she got really mad at me when she mentioned eating fish and I was like "wait, i thought you were a vegetarian". By definition, that makes no sense. To start with, I was genuinely confused. But then she started talking down to me, so I sent something sarcastic about how I never knew there was such a thing as a plant-based fish and she blocked me 😆
Honestly, many of these are funny; some are even witty. Did a sense of humor die at the same time proper spelling and grammar disappeared?
a bit harsh. And not true even historically. I met one of my partners on one. So... if I were to write up my resumé here, you'd definitely not say "loser". I'm so totally comfortable with the idea of non-loserness that I am totally comfortable telling you I did and do use them. So, maybe you can explain WHY you thought they were for losers? Is it because it implied they weren't going out at night? In my case, I would go out in person 2-3x per week. Bars, clubs, etc. Never met anyone worth my time. Mostly vapid and drunk. Dating site allowed me a degree of filtering never before seen.
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