
Woman Expects All Family Members To Follow Her New Rules For Family Thanksgiving, Gets Uninvited Instead
The holiday season is getting into full swing, with Christmas music blaring in each nook and cranny, dazzling lights flickering romantically in neighbors’ windows, and street vendors selling hot cocoa with tons of marshmallows to give you a lovely sugar high. But there’s one event that started off the celebrations, and that was Thanksgiving.
A day for gratitude shared between those one loves most and a day of wonderful food, drinks, and games — but alas, it’s also a day that brought about drama in some families. When a pregnant sister-in-law sent through a list of demands to be followed at Thanksgiving dinner, she didn’t anticipate that she could be uninvited from the celebration.
The story was shared by the host of the party, nicknamed Strange-Whinny-473 on Reddit, as she asked the community of r/AmIthe[Jerk] whether she was in the wrong. Don’t forget to leave your thoughts and opinions on the situation in the comments below, and if you’re craving more AITA stories, here’s one more for the road.
More info: Reddit
The holiday season is one time of year many people look forward to most; however, when different needs clash at the dinner table, it can cause some issues
Image credits: krakenimages (not the actual photo)
Hosting a dinner party is no easy feat. The kitchen becomes that of a Michelin-star restaurant; the dining room, a high-class venue. Timing is of the essence: the bird must come out after the guests have arrived and had a chance to settle down. Anytime before and it’ll start going dry. Wait too long as well and you’ll have a group of hangry guests.
But what happens when you’ve done the prep weeks in advance, the food and entertainment sorted out and awaiting showtime, only for one of your guests to throw a wrench in the works with a list of requests? No, not requests, more like demands. The reason? They’re pregnant. So what do you do? Chuck everything out the window and start over?
This Redditor, nicknamed Strange-Whinny-473, decided that it would be best to keep the original plan, as the guest, who happened to be her sister-in-law (SIL), would not agree to compromise, ultimately leading to her being uninvited. Cue family drama and the age-old question—“Was I the jerk in this?” It’s rarely a simple answer, so let’s have a look at all the details, shall we?
One Redditor asked the AITA community whether she was in the wrong for uninviting her sister-in-law from Thanksgiving after receiving her list of demands
Image credits: Strange-Whinny-473
Because she was pregnant with her first child, the sister-in-law asked for no alcohol and no poultry on the table, and no games, refusing to compromise
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
When we take a step back, it’s hard to not see both sides of the story. Family celebrations are a special tradition that no one would want to miss out on. However, if one knows that they’ll have a difficult time enjoying themselves, as they won’t be able to sit with everyone at the table—the smells of food and drink causing nausea—or be able to join in on the games due to fatigue, it may turn into a very isolating endeavor.
Women are more at risk of depression while they are pregnant and during the months after having a baby. According to VeryWellFamily, these emotional ups and downs are caused by a variety of factors, including fatigue, stress, the physical discomforts of pregnancy, the very normal worries of upcoming life changes, and rapidly shifting hormones, particularly estrogen and progesterone.
Feelings of nausea and sometimes vomiting can be triggered by the slightest hunger pang or even the smell of your neighbor’s cooking. The stress of not knowing when they might feel sick, and the stress of possibly throwing up unprepared or in public, can be intense, explaining why the sister-in-law wanted certain items off the table and for them to be more in tune with her routine.
Image credits: Strange-Whinny-473
It’s difficult to not see both sides of the story; however, one can argue that the Redditor was looking out for the interests of the many, not the few
Image credits: Camylla Battani (not the actual photo)
It would be unjust to not consider the Redditor’s point of view either. She seemed to be trying to embrace and continue the family traditions that have been there since the beginning. Furthermore, one can argue that she was looking out for the interests of the majority, rather than the minority, of guests. Why should all suffer when it’s only one person that can’t partake in all the things that make Thanksgiving special?
When people turn their personal issues into everyone’s issues, things can quickly turn toxic, turning a fun holiday into something closer to a chore. The Redditor offered multiple ways to compromise, whilst also ensuring that all her preparations didn’t go to waste, and said that everyone would get their fair share of Thanksgiving cheer.
It’s unfortunate that this led to members of the family getting excluded; however, as Hella Life states, setting boundaries with a family member doesn’t mean you’re giving up; it means you’ve come to terms with a problematic situation that cannot be resolved.
At the end of the day, you can’t make everybody happy, but you can do your best to ensure that most people reap the benefits. Let us know your thoughts on this story in the comments below. Do you agree or disagree with how the situation was handled?
Enjoy what fellow netizens had to say, and I shall see you all in the next one!
As q woman who is currently pregnant ( high risk too) this is ridiculous. If I needed to be that picky I'd politely tell everyone I wouldn't becoming this year so I don't ruin everyone's time.
My thoughts exactly. Pregnancy is hard and it’s understandable that special accommodations may be needed. But if all things related to a traditional Thanksgiving make you ill, then perhaps you need to sit this one out. Everyone would surely understand.
One great thing about this time with technology... we do not really HAVE to be totally separated. I remember the 5 minuet call to my grandparents long distance, on the holidays. It was extremely expensive and only happened on major holidays. Now with zoom etc... you can be "there" even if you have to be away
I hope I don't seem rude, I am just trying to educate myself, but what is a q woman?
I think it may be a typo. Q is supposed to be an A. Just a guess and if I'm wrong, hopefully some one will explain to us.
I thinks it's meant to be "a" instead of "q", not sure though 🧐☺️
Congratulations and I hope all goes well for both of you. Sadly, too many expectant mothers believe the world revolves around them and everyone is supposed to worship them, their desires and demands. These women have no business with children.
They have a lesson coming. They become sherpas or pack mules. Not so important.
Upvote x 100
Well, Shannon, that is a normal, empathetic way of thinking. But the thing is, many of our co-human fellows are not capable of that (quite a few of them, I'd say).
People are so demanding these days. If I was her, I’d tell the host that turkey and alcohol smell made me feel sick, so I’d be sitting away from those. As for the games, I’d happily watch the others having fun. She sounds like a whiny sourpuss.
Exactly. And if she feels like taking a nap she can just lie down for a bit. No need to make it a national event.
Not possible at my in-laws it was better that I came after my nap... lol
Your plate sans poultry will be in the fridge.
Right? Or even, o ce the turkey is cut,could it be moved out of the room after people are served? My dad hates cheese. Even looking at it makes him queasy. So, mum and I run interference at other people's houses,and keep it as far away from him as possible without impacting our hosts too badly. Only once was there ever an issue and that was because the host didn't realise, and used a small bit of cheese in something. Dad took one bite, almost threw up, and asked if there was cheese. Apparently it was one or two little bits of grated cheese that fell off another dish, that she threw in rather than waste. Neither mum nor I could taste it, but dad did. He avoided that dish, after. We explained, and everyone was happy.
She sounds like a real B! Unreal. I feel sorry for baby daddy having to live everyday with her nonsense. Besides it's just pregnancy, which women have been doing for decades! Poor hubby, cuz if she's acting out like this u know she's driving everyone in her own house bat shite crazy!
Poor baby, too! Imagine, if she thinks everything revolves around her NOW, what kind of a mother she'll be! Being a parent means you HAVE to sacrifice your time, energy etc. for the benefit of your children - this person does not sound like she could cope with that!
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I am making 90 US dollars an hour working from home. I never imagined that it was honest to goodness yet my closest companion is earning 16,000 US dollar a month by working on a laptop, that was truly astounding for me, she prescribed for me to attempt it simply. Everybody must try this job now by just using this website... www.ProfitGuru7.com
The needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few. 🖖🏼
Haha you beat me to it!! One of the best lines in Star Trek history!!!
........me who thought it was from how to train your dragon 🫠
No. Spock said it FIRST in THE WRATH OF KHAN.
😳🖖
Exactly my thoughts, if you have a lot of problems why ruin it for everybody else?
..... or the one.
Or the one...
I liked the comment "and I require a shrubbery".
Or the one ;)
"Or the one."
Or the one.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
nobody "needs" turkey or booze. Would ham be too difficult to consider?
She had already ordered the turkey. The time to request (not demand) menu alterations was long before then. Even so, she did offer to make something separate for her.. And the compromise of not having alcohol at the table but allowing it later seems reasonable to me.
Totally missing the point.
Yes he is, ... Also they need to be looking down the road to the next year when they have the baby infant with them and want to be accommodated around the babies feeding sleeping schedule. If they accommodate once it'll never end. You've been invited somewhere accept or decline the invite as you see fit, but don't start demanding people change their traditions for you
You just know that baby's going to have a strict naptime schedule and need complete silence. And it will be hell for everyone. BTDT Which is why my kids learned to sleep with noise from the get go.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
What's the point? That one person can't be accommodated for one year? Like, I'm the first to call b******t on pregnant people thinking they run the world, but the absolute unwillingness most people have to change due to "tradition" ranks far higher on my b******t meter. And who knows, maybe the host ordered the damn turkey last february. Who cares? It's a damn turkey. If your entire thanksgiving would be absolutely destroyed by not having a damn bird and a damn drink in your hand, you have far bigger problems than a demanding preggo.
Oh Phil, get back on your white horse and go back to your basement.
He never left.
Phil sounds like he’s the one in need of nap time 😂😂
Can someone get Pill (Phil) a Snickers? He sounds really hangry... Or... Maybe he just needs a drink?
As q woman who is currently pregnant ( high risk too) this is ridiculous. If I needed to be that picky I'd politely tell everyone I wouldn't becoming this year so I don't ruin everyone's time.
My thoughts exactly. Pregnancy is hard and it’s understandable that special accommodations may be needed. But if all things related to a traditional Thanksgiving make you ill, then perhaps you need to sit this one out. Everyone would surely understand.
One great thing about this time with technology... we do not really HAVE to be totally separated. I remember the 5 minuet call to my grandparents long distance, on the holidays. It was extremely expensive and only happened on major holidays. Now with zoom etc... you can be "there" even if you have to be away
I hope I don't seem rude, I am just trying to educate myself, but what is a q woman?
I think it may be a typo. Q is supposed to be an A. Just a guess and if I'm wrong, hopefully some one will explain to us.
I thinks it's meant to be "a" instead of "q", not sure though 🧐☺️
Congratulations and I hope all goes well for both of you. Sadly, too many expectant mothers believe the world revolves around them and everyone is supposed to worship them, their desires and demands. These women have no business with children.
They have a lesson coming. They become sherpas or pack mules. Not so important.
Upvote x 100
Well, Shannon, that is a normal, empathetic way of thinking. But the thing is, many of our co-human fellows are not capable of that (quite a few of them, I'd say).
People are so demanding these days. If I was her, I’d tell the host that turkey and alcohol smell made me feel sick, so I’d be sitting away from those. As for the games, I’d happily watch the others having fun. She sounds like a whiny sourpuss.
Exactly. And if she feels like taking a nap she can just lie down for a bit. No need to make it a national event.
Not possible at my in-laws it was better that I came after my nap... lol
Your plate sans poultry will be in the fridge.
Right? Or even, o ce the turkey is cut,could it be moved out of the room after people are served? My dad hates cheese. Even looking at it makes him queasy. So, mum and I run interference at other people's houses,and keep it as far away from him as possible without impacting our hosts too badly. Only once was there ever an issue and that was because the host didn't realise, and used a small bit of cheese in something. Dad took one bite, almost threw up, and asked if there was cheese. Apparently it was one or two little bits of grated cheese that fell off another dish, that she threw in rather than waste. Neither mum nor I could taste it, but dad did. He avoided that dish, after. We explained, and everyone was happy.
She sounds like a real B! Unreal. I feel sorry for baby daddy having to live everyday with her nonsense. Besides it's just pregnancy, which women have been doing for decades! Poor hubby, cuz if she's acting out like this u know she's driving everyone in her own house bat shite crazy!
Poor baby, too! Imagine, if she thinks everything revolves around her NOW, what kind of a mother she'll be! Being a parent means you HAVE to sacrifice your time, energy etc. for the benefit of your children - this person does not sound like she could cope with that!
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I am making 90 US dollars an hour working from home. I never imagined that it was honest to goodness yet my closest companion is earning 16,000 US dollar a month by working on a laptop, that was truly astounding for me, she prescribed for me to attempt it simply. Everybody must try this job now by just using this website... www.ProfitGuru7.com
The needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few. 🖖🏼
Haha you beat me to it!! One of the best lines in Star Trek history!!!
........me who thought it was from how to train your dragon 🫠
No. Spock said it FIRST in THE WRATH OF KHAN.
😳🖖
Exactly my thoughts, if you have a lot of problems why ruin it for everybody else?
..... or the one.
Or the one...
I liked the comment "and I require a shrubbery".
Or the one ;)
"Or the one."
Or the one.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
nobody "needs" turkey or booze. Would ham be too difficult to consider?
She had already ordered the turkey. The time to request (not demand) menu alterations was long before then. Even so, she did offer to make something separate for her.. And the compromise of not having alcohol at the table but allowing it later seems reasonable to me.
Totally missing the point.
Yes he is, ... Also they need to be looking down the road to the next year when they have the baby infant with them and want to be accommodated around the babies feeding sleeping schedule. If they accommodate once it'll never end. You've been invited somewhere accept or decline the invite as you see fit, but don't start demanding people change their traditions for you
You just know that baby's going to have a strict naptime schedule and need complete silence. And it will be hell for everyone. BTDT Which is why my kids learned to sleep with noise from the get go.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
What's the point? That one person can't be accommodated for one year? Like, I'm the first to call b******t on pregnant people thinking they run the world, but the absolute unwillingness most people have to change due to "tradition" ranks far higher on my b******t meter. And who knows, maybe the host ordered the damn turkey last february. Who cares? It's a damn turkey. If your entire thanksgiving would be absolutely destroyed by not having a damn bird and a damn drink in your hand, you have far bigger problems than a demanding preggo.
Oh Phil, get back on your white horse and go back to your basement.
He never left.
Phil sounds like he’s the one in need of nap time 😂😂
Can someone get Pill (Phil) a Snickers? He sounds really hangry... Or... Maybe he just needs a drink?