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To put it simply, gatekeeping is an act when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity ("You can't be a real Phoebe Bridgers fan, you just discovered her. Real fans follow her since at least Stranger in the Alps.") If this sounds ridiculous to you, don't worry. You're not alone.

There's a subreddit called r/GatesOpenComeOnIn and it describes itself as the polar opposite of gatekeeping. Created in 2018, this online community collects and shares pictures of wholesome acts of kindness when people had each other's backs. Whether it's encouraging everyone to share their Spotify Wrapped or simply allowing someone to feel tired, it doesn't take much to acknowledge another person's emotions, thoughts, experiences, values, and beliefs. Continue scrolling and check out how it's done.

#1

Wholesome Patriotism

Wholesome Patriotism

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As you can see from the pictures, empathy goes a long way. Developing it is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. Since empathy involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, it enables prosocial or helping behaviors that come from within, rather than being forced.

Sadly, some surveys indicate that empathy is on the decline in the United States and elsewhere. But at least these findings motivate parents, schools, and communities to support programs that help people of all ages enhance and maintain their ability to walk in each other’s shoes.

#2

Halloween For Everyone!

Halloween For Everyone!

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#3

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

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troufaki13
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If God created all creatures with his infinite wisdom, why would he hate something that HE created?

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Empathy really is a superpower: it helps us cooperate with others, build friendships, make moral decisions, and intervene when we see others being bullied.

Humans usually begin to show signs of empathy in infancy and the trait develops steadily through childhood and adolescence.

That being said, most people are likely to feel greater empathy for someone like themselves and may feel less empathy for those outside their family, community, ethnicity, or race.

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#6

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

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am_c0m0
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Minding our own business would solve a lot of our problems.

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Like other traits, empathy may have evolved with a selfish motive: using others as a "social antenna" to help detect danger. From an evolutionary point of view, creating a mental model of another person's intent is critical: the arrival of an interloper, for example, could be deadly, so developing sensitivity to the signals of others could be life-saving.

Babies display an understanding that people’s actions are guided by intentions and can act on that understanding before they turn 18 months old, including trying to comfort a parent. Advanced reasoning about other people’s thoughts develops around age 5-6.

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Experts say that people high in narcissism, or who have a narcissistic personality disorder, can exhibit empathy and even compassion. However, that ability only goes so far, as ultimately they prioritize their own needs.

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Some researchers believe narcissists can become more empathetic by developing greater self-compassion, which can increase their own feelings of security and self-worth and enable them to open up to hearing others.

#10

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

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#11

Do What Makes You Happy For You

Do What Makes You Happy For You

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Steve Haigh
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah, making money out of something you love isn't a bad thing - making it the only reason to pursue a hobby, however, isn't really the point of getting a hobby. The money is an added bonus.

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Helen Haley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why so many adults have lost their imagination. Imagination and artistic endeavors are such good coping mechanisms, but we eschew them for other forms, like sports. Because then tehre is winning. Or only hobbies we excel at.

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, I think "do what you enjoy regardless of how good you are at it" should be an universal truth.

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Night Owl
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, as long as you don't bother someone else with it. I love singing but I know I'm not good at it so I don't sing or at least not too loud when there are other people near me (except for family and/or friends)

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Dirk Daring
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I genuinely needed that. As I'm writing this, it is 6:55am, and now I know it's going to be a good day.

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Rose the Cook
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stepdaughter's children are subjected to piano lessons, oil painting lessons, French lessons, English lessons, American Gridiorn lessons etc. etc. at ages 3 and4. When they don't excell at anything she finds something else to subject the poor tots to.

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Amanda Groetzinger
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG!! This is legit life changing for me! Never looked at it this way.

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sturmwesen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why I decided against working as a cook. I like cooking and I want it to stay tgat way and not be forced to do it.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this. I enjoy singing and I am terrible at it, I won’t sing around strangers and it takes a while for me to get comfortable enough to sing in front of new friends, acquaintances or family etc. I am also a very novice cake decorator but there is absolutely no way I would do it as a business, I just make them for friends and family. Same with most of my artsy, crafty, diy stuff. I do it coz I enjoy it and love giving people things.

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Connie Martin
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 64 and embracing this for the first time in my life. Perfectionism has held me back from so much joy -- now I'd like to pursue all kinds of things I might not be good at, but find pleasure in the learning

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birdie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but if you are good at something that you also enjoy, why not make a bit of extra money if you can?

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Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life is not a product. Wow, LOVE THAT!!! I am so sad that the last decade or so we've mainstreamed the idea that somehow what you love has got to be an etsy store, or 5iverr'd or something like that.

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Baby Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if you love it that much and you pour emotion into it then it's beautiful. if you work hard on it, and you're proud of it, then it's beautiful.

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Melanie King
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Sing offkey".... *checks box*, "Draw poorly".... *checks another box*

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QueerTheory
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw this particular status sometimes back and it truly changed how i look at life. I’m singing off key at my heart’s content and soon will begin writing short stories again :)

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Jackie Wacky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this: don’t let wanting to be perfect stop you from doing something.

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Wordfloe-Acid-Test
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Learning for the sake of learning and enjoying a hobby for the sake of enjoyment <3

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Mike Rodrick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Capitalism is evil. Would Jesus approve? The wealthiest ignoring the plight of the less fortunate is just cruel. 500,000 homeless in the richest country in the world.

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Wandaluzt
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This has f all to do with capitalism. As a statement without the political bs, it is absolutely correct.

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M Kate McCulloch
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you want to, monetize it. If you don't want to, don't monetize it. Either way, the primary goal should be that you love doing it.

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Steve in Denver
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a strong singing voice, but the singers I'm most drawn to have unusual voices and strong poetry.

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Amaranthim Talon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't generally Like hippy-dippy s**t, but this sings in all the right notes!

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Kathy Stern
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks for this! I just started painting rocks and "losing" them in public places. I suck at it compared to other people but I still love doing it.

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sebastian nye
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this! because the moment i pick up an instrument i start comparing myself to all the virtuosos on YT

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Eric Rossman
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't even have to do the thing you enjoy if you don't want to. You can enjoy others doing it. Go to concerts (virtual right now, I guess), read lovely stories, look at beautiful artwork.

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Amy Broderick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

how do I upvote this multiple times. It's way too low on the rankings

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lakitha tolbert
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And as a corollary to that, just because you’re really good at something, doesn’t mean you need to monetize it! Let’s normalize being good at stuff just because we enjoy it being good at it, and it’s fun, not because it can make money! I’m adding this because I’ve been asked a bunch of time why I don’t sell my drawing or knitting skills and make moneyfrom them. I don’t do that, because I love what I do (and have a regular job I also love, with benefits, though.)

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Kim Bush
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too many times once you start making money doing what you enjoy it's no longer a hobby, it feels more like a chore.

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Sori
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Love teaching art cus its about the process not the outcome

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Damon Tripodi
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who the hell thought this in the first place? what the hell are you being taught?

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The_tattered_hippie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is one of my biggest gripes in my family right now. I love learning new hobbies, but EVERY time I do, my family is all “you should sell those on Etsy” or “that’s a good way to make some extra money” like geez- can’t I just have a hobby that I don’t have to turn into a business? Agh!

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Ezigma
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The issue I have with doing artsy things is they will turn out good but I'll think it could be better and I end up messing it up lol! Anyone else do this?

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Molly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kinda seems like people don't actually understand capitalism...

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Donna Beach
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure what you mean. Seems they understand just fine. Is there a more complex comment you want to make to bring clarity to your vague statement?

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El Dee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cool, I am not creative but still love art. I'll never be good and don't have any talent at all. But enjoyment is a rare thing..

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Noemie Houtekie-N'Da
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I only dislike it when people are clearly bad at something and hate on people who work hard t be good at the same thing.

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d bradley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why do you have to capitalize your comment instead of just resorting your premise. they probably have a sucky job that they can't stand that is the only way they can feed their family and they would rather earn money doing something they enjoy

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Daphne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love singing off-key in the office, my colleagues laugh their asses off! It's fun

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Mary Haynes
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WISH I WOULD HAVE SANG MORE TO MY SON WHEN HE WAS LITTLE, EVEN THOU I HAVE A TERRIBLE VOICE.

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deanna woods
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister thinks that she is not a good photographer, but I tell her that that is nonsense.

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Lillukka79
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or you could excel just for the heck of it. I'm great at my hobbies but I have no intension of selling them. All I do, I do with love so the only people that get them, are people I love.

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Ma Fra
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what my sons art teacher says and I love her for that! For the first time my son is enjoying art.

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also you don’t really even need to have artistic interests. You can enjoy non artistic hobbies just as much.

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Ryan Michael
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And if you’re good at it, then nice! But the result shouldn’t make you not wanna try

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#13

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boy loves colour pink and red. As soon as he was able to show it to me, I have made him red birthday cake and bought red or pink clothes. He also liked to play with baby doll, toy washing machine and cooking gadgets and we allowed him to play what ever he wanted. That phase has now mostly passed, but red is still his favourite colour.

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"Do a thought experiment," Mark Davis, a professor of psychology who has spent decades studying empathy, said. “Imagine if humans didn’t have the capacity for empathy. What would it mean if, in fact, we never gave a damn about what happened to other people? That’s an almost an inconceivable world."

"As awful a species as we can be — and we certainly have the capacity for terrible things — we’re also capable of some pretty wonderful things, noble things, self-sacrifice."

#14

Family Is A Family Is A Family

Family Is A Family Is A Family

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A while ago someone asked me if I “have a family”. I said yes and was genuinely confused when she started asking me about kids.

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Interestingly, the word "empathy" is relatively new. It didn’t enter the English language until the early 1900s, derived from the German word einfühlung, according to Daniel Batson, a researcher of empathy and professor emeritus at Kansas University.

#18

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband doesnt find my jokes funny, but he cracks up when i cant finish the joke because im laughing so hard.. I love him!

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#19

It's The Thought That Counts

It's The Thought That Counts

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#20

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

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While some people are more naturally empathetic than others, there are easy, evidenced-based exercises that anyone can do to increase their empathy. 

First, talk to new people. Trying to imagine how someone else feels is often not enough. Luckily, the solution is simple: ask them. "For me, the core of empathy is curiosity," Jodi Halpern, a psychiatrist and bioethics professor at the University of California, Berkeley, who studies empathy, told The New York Times. "It's what is another person’s life actually like in its particulars?”

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#21

We Are All Nerds Together

We Are All Nerds Together

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can completely relate to this. I love it when I discover that a friend that I've known for years has an in depth knowledge on a subject I never suspected.

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#23

Good Guy Owner

Good Guy Owner

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this. In Germany it is forbidden by the law to look for food in supermarket dumpsters. As long as the food doesnt pose a safety hazard, the food should be donated (which some supermarkets do, but its only a few plus they have to pay tax for the food which they are donating, so not many do this).

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You can start conversations with strangers or invite a colleague or neighbor you don't know well to lunch. But the trick is to go beyond small talk – ask them how they're doing and what their daily life is like.

Put away your phone and other screens when you’re having conversations, even with the people you see every day, so you can fully listen and notice their facial expressions and gestures.

Also, follow people on social media with different backgrounds than you have (different race, religion, or political persuasion). 

#25

Stress Relief

Stress Relief

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And do not geet engaged into ridiculous competition. You do not need to have read the full History of Middle-earth to enjoy watching the hobbit. (You should, though, before criticising supposed plot-holes.)

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#26

Money Is Power, But Also Not

Money Is Power, But Also Not

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also when the minimum wage rises, you can hope that other employers will also offer more, to give people a reason to stay in their job instead of taking an 'easier' minimum wage job.

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#27

Better Late Than Never

Better Late Than Never

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Nat Hedley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude in my graduating class (back in 1997) was 84 years old at the time of his graduation. Learn like you'll live forever, it's never too late.

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But don’t just stand in someone else's shoes, as the saying goes—take a walk in them. For example, consider attending someone else's church, mosque, synagogue, or other houses of worship for a few weeks while they attend yours, or visit a village in a developing country and volunteer.

If you don't have enough time for these activities, you can simply explore a new neighborhood, or strike up a conversation with a homeless person in your community.

If someone’s behavior is bothering you, think about why. Consider what it’s like to live their daily life.

#29

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

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#31

How Lovely

How Lovely

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for this! Kids will never learn how to behave or communicate with others if they can't be at public places. My kids usually behave very well, but can be quite loud.

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#32

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a weird comment. Don't we all love the person that turns up at our doorstep with our eagerly awaited parcel??

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Remember, you don't need to understand everything about someone to make them feel respected. Just don’t make assumptions about people based on what your life is like. The people on this list certainly haven't.

We’re all humans, and we all have a desire to connect with one another. Building our empathy, considering the perspectives of others, and opening ourselves to uncomfortable conversations can make that happen.

#35

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

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Something
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would a saleswoman at a furniture store not want to sell furniture?

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#37

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

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#38

We’re All In This Together

We’re All In This Together

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people do make it their business to decide what other people should earn, how and where they should live and why they shouldn't have universal healthcare. They're called Republicans.

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#39

Ok Zoomer

Ok Zoomer

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Smartphones are the library of Alexandria? Wow, I have to remember this one!

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#40

They Had Us In The First Half

They Had Us In The First Half

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Karl Baxter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it amazing that some Christians arrogantly think that their religion somehow “owns” marriage. People were getting together and pairing up in a variety of rituals 1000s of years before Christianity turned up.

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#43

Speak Everything

Speak Everything

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#44

Learning Is Awesome

Learning Is Awesome

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also my favorite ones! And I love to talk about them to whoever cares to listen. ;)

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#46

You’re Doing Just Fine

You’re Doing Just Fine

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This stupid meme also failed to recognise that to develop skills and side hustles we really benefit from the support of friends and family. Hanging out and chatting enables our brains to get things in to perspective, sort out what we've learnt so far, and subconsciously start to work on what is to come next.

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#48

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

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#49

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

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#50

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

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