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To put it simply, gatekeeping is an act when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity ("You can't be a real Phoebe Bridgers fan, you just discovered her. Real fans follow her since at least Stranger in the Alps.") If this sounds ridiculous to you, don't worry. You're not alone.

There's a subreddit called r/GatesOpenComeOnIn and it describes itself as the polar opposite of gatekeeping. Created in 2018, this online community collects and shares pictures of wholesome acts of kindness when people had each other's backs. Whether it's encouraging everyone to share their Spotify Wrapped or simply allowing someone to feel tired, it doesn't take much to acknowledge another person's emotions, thoughts, experiences, values, and beliefs. Continue scrolling and check out how it's done.

#1

Wholesome Patriotism

Wholesome Patriotism

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As you can see from the pictures, empathy goes a long way. Developing it is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. Since empathy involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, it enables prosocial or helping behaviors that come from within, rather than being forced.

Sadly, some surveys indicate that empathy is on the decline in the United States and elsewhere. But at least these findings motivate parents, schools, and communities to support programs that help people of all ages enhance and maintain their ability to walk in each other’s shoes.

#2

Halloween For Everyone!

Halloween For Everyone!

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#3

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

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troufaki13
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If God created all creatures with his infinite wisdom, why would he hate something that HE created?

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Empathy really is a superpower: it helps us cooperate with others, build friendships, make moral decisions, and intervene when we see others being bullied.

Humans usually begin to show signs of empathy in infancy and the trait develops steadily through childhood and adolescence.

That being said, most people are likely to feel greater empathy for someone like themselves and may feel less empathy for those outside their family, community, ethnicity, or race.

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#6

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

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am_c0m0
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Minding our own business would solve a lot of our problems.

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Like other traits, empathy may have evolved with a selfish motive: using others as a "social antenna" to help detect danger. From an evolutionary point of view, creating a mental model of another person's intent is critical: the arrival of an interloper, for example, could be deadly, so developing sensitivity to the signals of others could be life-saving.

Babies display an understanding that people’s actions are guided by intentions and can act on that understanding before they turn 18 months old, including trying to comfort a parent. Advanced reasoning about other people’s thoughts develops around age 5-6.

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Experts say that people high in narcissism, or who have a narcissistic personality disorder, can exhibit empathy and even compassion. However, that ability only goes so far, as ultimately they prioritize their own needs.

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Some researchers believe narcissists can become more empathetic by developing greater self-compassion, which can increase their own feelings of security and self-worth and enable them to open up to hearing others.

#10

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

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#13

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boy loves colour pink and red. As soon as he was able to show it to me, I have made him red birthday cake and bought red or pink clothes. He also liked to play with baby doll, toy washing machine and cooking gadgets and we allowed him to play what ever he wanted. That phase has now mostly passed, but red is still his favourite colour.

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"Do a thought experiment," Mark Davis, a professor of psychology who has spent decades studying empathy, said. “Imagine if humans didn’t have the capacity for empathy. What would it mean if, in fact, we never gave a damn about what happened to other people? That’s an almost an inconceivable world."

"As awful a species as we can be — and we certainly have the capacity for terrible things — we’re also capable of some pretty wonderful things, noble things, self-sacrifice."

#14

Family Is A Family Is A Family

Family Is A Family Is A Family

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A while ago someone asked me if I “have a family”. I said yes and was genuinely confused when she started asking me about kids.

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Interestingly, the word "empathy" is relatively new. It didn’t enter the English language until the early 1900s, derived from the German word einfühlung, according to Daniel Batson, a researcher of empathy and professor emeritus at Kansas University.

#18

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband doesnt find my jokes funny, but he cracks up when i cant finish the joke because im laughing so hard.. I love him!

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#19

It's The Thought That Counts

It's The Thought That Counts

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#20

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

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While some people are more naturally empathetic than others, there are easy, evidenced-based exercises that anyone can do to increase their empathy. 

First, talk to new people. Trying to imagine how someone else feels is often not enough. Luckily, the solution is simple: ask them. "For me, the core of empathy is curiosity," Jodi Halpern, a psychiatrist and bioethics professor at the University of California, Berkeley, who studies empathy, told The New York Times. "It's what is another person’s life actually like in its particulars?”

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#21

We Are All Nerds Together

We Are All Nerds Together

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can completely relate to this. I love it when I discover that a friend that I've known for years has an in depth knowledge on a subject I never suspected.

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#23

Good Guy Owner

Good Guy Owner

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this. In Germany it is forbidden by the law to look for food in supermarket dumpsters. As long as the food doesnt pose a safety hazard, the food should be donated (which some supermarkets do, but its only a few plus they have to pay tax for the food which they are donating, so not many do this).

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You can start conversations with strangers or invite a colleague or neighbor you don't know well to lunch. But the trick is to go beyond small talk – ask them how they're doing and what their daily life is like.

Put away your phone and other screens when you’re having conversations, even with the people you see every day, so you can fully listen and notice their facial expressions and gestures.

Also, follow people on social media with different backgrounds than you have (different race, religion, or political persuasion). 

#25

Stress Relief

Stress Relief

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And do not geet engaged into ridiculous competition. You do not need to have read the full History of Middle-earth to enjoy watching the hobbit. (You should, though, before criticising supposed plot-holes.)

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#26

Money Is Power, But Also Not

Money Is Power, But Also Not

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also when the minimum wage rises, you can hope that other employers will also offer more, to give people a reason to stay in their job instead of taking an 'easier' minimum wage job.

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#27

Better Late Than Never

Better Late Than Never

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Nat Hedley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude in my graduating class (back in 1997) was 84 years old at the time of his graduation. Learn like you'll live forever, it's never too late.

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But don’t just stand in someone else's shoes, as the saying goes—take a walk in them. For example, consider attending someone else's church, mosque, synagogue, or other houses of worship for a few weeks while they attend yours, or visit a village in a developing country and volunteer.

If you don't have enough time for these activities, you can simply explore a new neighborhood, or strike up a conversation with a homeless person in your community.

If someone’s behavior is bothering you, think about why. Consider what it’s like to live their daily life.

#29

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

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#30

Friendly Encouragement

Friendly Encouragement

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Besides, if people would merely limit their intake of dairy and meat, the environmental effect would be vast, and they would do something for their health as well. Ideally, use the money saved to spend it on buying those animal products that you get as organic ones – better for the environment, the animals, and ultimately yourselv.

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Ozacoter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thats the best way to go IMO. Humans are omnivores and having a vegetarian or vegan diet that gives all needed nutrients is difficult (and not everybody does it well). The best solution is to cut your animal products. For example at home we eat half of the week vegetarian and half meat/fish. Great for the environment, better for your health and delicious.

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Anne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If we just portion meats normal sized - there will be an amazing impact on the planet and we will all benefit. Plus more space for the animals too. (Yes, I am looking at the crazy food portions in the US. What a freaking waste of food and resources.)

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Kirsten Kerkhof
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is such a wholesome post. I have food intolerances that prevent me from going even fully vegetarian, and I get quite a bit of cr*p over it from some people I know. Sometimes it just makes me sad because I do want to do what's right, but I also want to, you know, not die.

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago

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My boyfriend is allergic to dozens of vegetables and he’s a hardcore vegan and exercise guru. It can be done, don’t give up if it’s what you desire.

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I appreciate this! I’m gradually weaning myself off meat (now only having it once every 3 days) and I’ve found that I like soy milk, but I’m going to stick with eggs and cheese, because I buy free range eggs and I don’t eat cheese that much. I’ll also still eat meat *occasionally*, just not most days.

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Vivaan Samaraweera
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not to force this on anyone, but being a vegetarian is good too. Basically, you only give up meat.

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m a vegan and I agree! Vegetarian is a good diet and more animal friendly than an omnivore diet. Plus the natural progression after vegetarian is to veganism. That’s how I started.

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Trillian
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should be much higher. Don't let the label scare you, there are no tests to check if you cheat. Reduce dairy, reduce meat, everything is fine.

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Kari Panda
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is a general advice though that I was given only recently and it had a big impact on me: Small progess is better than no progress. Writing a story and you merely managed to write 3 sentences today? Still better than 0 sentences. You want to go out more but were overwhelmed by it all after going for a walk for merely 10 minutes? Better than 0 minutes. It’s completely logical if you think about it, yet we always believe we have to be perfect if we do something.

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Ayra
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is actually the tweet that made me eat more veggie products.

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Logic and Reason
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve been working on becoming a vegetarian. Vegan’s out of the question for me though, I love dairy too much.

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Sue Bradley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a vegan I totally agree - every snack, meal, drink that is made vegan is amazing Xxxx

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right on, Sue. I am the same. Vegan food tastes and feels so much better for your body and mind.

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sylvantic
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't have to cut all animal products out. I'm vegetarian but i love cheese and honey

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great advice, if only the hardcore vegans would “allow” that. Or even some of the hardcore carnivores. Either way do what works for you, it is no one else’s business.

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We do “allow” that. A hardcore vegan said that. Since when do omnivores care about what we allow anyway? We ask you to have compassion for sentient animals and you tell us that’s wrong.

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Katarzyna Lach
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is me - I love cheese so I can't do without it but I cut down on meat some time ago. Now, meat doesn't seem like food anymore - it's just cats' food and I don't feel like having it on my plate.

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NuClea Bomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This actually makes me feel better. I wanted to try meat-free Mondays but a lot of people would say I have to go "all the way or not at all" smh

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Emilycookie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sometimes want to go vegetarian but i like meat waaaaaayyyyy too much.

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Marvin HoG
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could never give up cheese but I want to give up more animal products. Thank you.

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Alex Hamilton
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trouble is :: the spirit is willing but the flesh is delicious. sorry

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Patricia Stilwell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES! My rule is I don't eat baby animals. No veal, lamb. baby back ribs. Also no foie gras or anything I know to be created by deliberate cruelty.

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Fred Van Der Zee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For everyone having trouble dropping dairy from their diet, this Dutch guy is working on it: https://vegnews.com/2020/6/founders-of-the-vegetarian-butcher-form-new-brand-those-vegan-cowboys-to-revolutionize-dairy

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Suzy the observer
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a vegan, I fully support this. It is not done overnight. Took me a year to be cheese-free.

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Maria Rodriguez
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eat cows. They are actually made from hay and grass which makes them safe for vegans. You are what you eat. Plant fed is actually a plant. My theory run with ir

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El Dee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good point. Do what you can, don't beat yourself up about it..

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trix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only thing I could not give up is cheese. I always had problems digesting the meat of any kind, poultry/meat/fish/pork. I would have stomachache afterwards and I really felt bad for eating an animal so it was an easy choice for me, I understand how some people actually enjoy eating meat so much and yet they still go vegan, I have so much respect for them. Thankfully, there are so many different options now for any kind of vegan meat that even my carnivore boyfriend doesn't mind eating. There was this place called What The Pitta in London, where we used to have amazing vegan doner wraps and my god, it was better than actual meat doner! With no guilt. Or stomachache lol. Can't wait for lockdown to be over to go and have some vegan doner again!

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Annelise
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YAS! This is so nice and forgiving! I hate vegans who shove their diet/lifestyle down others throats like That Vegan Teacher. Like, be nice about it! I love this!

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alwaysMispelled
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really appreciate this. I've been a vegetarian for a decade and have tried (unsuccessfully) to go vegan a few times. I'm a super picky eater and can't seem to get away from dairy. I have stopped drinking cow milk (w/cereal), but I've not been able to give up cheese/cottage cheese/yogurt/ice cream... This is something I think about quite often and feel guilty about. This post honestly helped.

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Marilyn Holt
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah!! --why is it so hard for us toi allow people to make their own choices. Really--if it's not endangering someone, if it's not racist or cruel or abusive, why do we get all twisted in knots because a vegan might want to eat bacon!

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totinos pizza rolls
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that vegan teacher really pushes being vegan way too hard, this person is so nice

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Bettie-Jean Neal
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They say bacon is the #1 item that makes a vegetarian or vegan cheat.

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tomruns12
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or you know just eat whatever you like and don't worry about what other people think.

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Sandra Libertad
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm actually on this situation. I want to be vegetarian, actually I don't like meat like a steak or bbq, but sometimes I love a good burguer or some bacon.... and I am weak 😅

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kjorn
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

just eat what you want to eat and don't be a d**k about it!

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Gloria Julian
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Research how pigs are slaughtered and you will give up the bacon.

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Michaelann Dahlman
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know if this is true because I haven't had a chance to try it yet, but I read somewhere that a dried seaweed called dulse, tastes like bacon if you fry it.

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Nicky Melville
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are almost there Kalyn. Maybe if you visit a farm and spend time petting some sweet little piglets you will be able to 'go the whole hog' ( that's AWFUL!) and give up bacon. Mind you, what you say her is very good advice! Take it from me that if you do give up bacon one day, after a while you will find that even the smell of it cooking will make you feel sick!

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#31

How Lovely

How Lovely

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for this! Kids will never learn how to behave or communicate with others if they can't be at public places. My kids usually behave very well, but can be quite loud.

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#32

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a weird comment. Don't we all love the person that turns up at our doorstep with our eagerly awaited parcel??

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Remember, you don't need to understand everything about someone to make them feel respected. Just don’t make assumptions about people based on what your life is like. The people on this list certainly haven't.

We’re all humans, and we all have a desire to connect with one another. Building our empathy, considering the perspectives of others, and opening ourselves to uncomfortable conversations can make that happen.

#35

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

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Something
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would a saleswoman at a furniture store not want to sell furniture?

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#37

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

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#38

We’re All In This Together

We’re All In This Together

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people do make it their business to decide what other people should earn, how and where they should live and why they shouldn't have universal healthcare. They're called Republicans.

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#39

Ok Zoomer

Ok Zoomer

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Smartphones are the library of Alexandria? Wow, I have to remember this one!

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#40

They Had Us In The First Half

They Had Us In The First Half

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Karl Baxter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it amazing that some Christians arrogantly think that their religion somehow “owns” marriage. People were getting together and pairing up in a variety of rituals 1000s of years before Christianity turned up.

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#43

Speak Everything

Speak Everything

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#44

Learning Is Awesome

Learning Is Awesome

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also my favorite ones! And I love to talk about them to whoever cares to listen. ;)

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#46

You’re Doing Just Fine

You’re Doing Just Fine

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This stupid meme also failed to recognise that to develop skills and side hustles we really benefit from the support of friends and family. Hanging out and chatting enables our brains to get things in to perspective, sort out what we've learnt so far, and subconsciously start to work on what is to come next.

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#48

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

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#49

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

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#50

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

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