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To put it simply, gatekeeping is an act when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity ("You can't be a real Phoebe Bridgers fan, you just discovered her. Real fans follow her since at least Stranger in the Alps.") If this sounds ridiculous to you, don't worry. You're not alone.

There's a subreddit called r/GatesOpenComeOnIn and it describes itself as the polar opposite of gatekeeping. Created in 2018, this online community collects and shares pictures of wholesome acts of kindness when people had each other's backs. Whether it's encouraging everyone to share their Spotify Wrapped or simply allowing someone to feel tired, it doesn't take much to acknowledge another person's emotions, thoughts, experiences, values, and beliefs. Continue scrolling and check out how it's done.

#1

Wholesome Patriotism

Wholesome Patriotism

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As you can see from the pictures, empathy goes a long way. Developing it is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. Since empathy involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, it enables prosocial or helping behaviors that come from within, rather than being forced.

Sadly, some surveys indicate that empathy is on the decline in the United States and elsewhere. But at least these findings motivate parents, schools, and communities to support programs that help people of all ages enhance and maintain their ability to walk in each other’s shoes.

#2

Halloween For Everyone!

Halloween For Everyone!

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#3

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

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troufaki13
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If God created all creatures with his infinite wisdom, why would he hate something that HE created?

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Empathy really is a superpower: it helps us cooperate with others, build friendships, make moral decisions, and intervene when we see others being bullied.

Humans usually begin to show signs of empathy in infancy and the trait develops steadily through childhood and adolescence.

That being said, most people are likely to feel greater empathy for someone like themselves and may feel less empathy for those outside their family, community, ethnicity, or race.

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#6

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

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am_c0m0
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Minding our own business would solve a lot of our problems.

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Like other traits, empathy may have evolved with a selfish motive: using others as a "social antenna" to help detect danger. From an evolutionary point of view, creating a mental model of another person's intent is critical: the arrival of an interloper, for example, could be deadly, so developing sensitivity to the signals of others could be life-saving.

Babies display an understanding that people’s actions are guided by intentions and can act on that understanding before they turn 18 months old, including trying to comfort a parent. Advanced reasoning about other people’s thoughts develops around age 5-6.

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Experts say that people high in narcissism, or who have a narcissistic personality disorder, can exhibit empathy and even compassion. However, that ability only goes so far, as ultimately they prioritize their own needs.

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Some researchers believe narcissists can become more empathetic by developing greater self-compassion, which can increase their own feelings of security and self-worth and enable them to open up to hearing others.

#10

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

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#13

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boy loves colour pink and red. As soon as he was able to show it to me, I have made him red birthday cake and bought red or pink clothes. He also liked to play with baby doll, toy washing machine and cooking gadgets and we allowed him to play what ever he wanted. That phase has now mostly passed, but red is still his favourite colour.

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"Do a thought experiment," Mark Davis, a professor of psychology who has spent decades studying empathy, said. “Imagine if humans didn’t have the capacity for empathy. What would it mean if, in fact, we never gave a damn about what happened to other people? That’s an almost an inconceivable world."

"As awful a species as we can be — and we certainly have the capacity for terrible things — we’re also capable of some pretty wonderful things, noble things, self-sacrifice."

#14

Family Is A Family Is A Family

Family Is A Family Is A Family

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A while ago someone asked me if I “have a family”. I said yes and was genuinely confused when she started asking me about kids.

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Interestingly, the word "empathy" is relatively new. It didn’t enter the English language until the early 1900s, derived from the German word einfühlung, according to Daniel Batson, a researcher of empathy and professor emeritus at Kansas University.

#18

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband doesnt find my jokes funny, but he cracks up when i cant finish the joke because im laughing so hard.. I love him!

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#19

It's The Thought That Counts

It's The Thought That Counts

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#20

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

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While some people are more naturally empathetic than others, there are easy, evidenced-based exercises that anyone can do to increase their empathy. 

First, talk to new people. Trying to imagine how someone else feels is often not enough. Luckily, the solution is simple: ask them. "For me, the core of empathy is curiosity," Jodi Halpern, a psychiatrist and bioethics professor at the University of California, Berkeley, who studies empathy, told The New York Times. "It's what is another person’s life actually like in its particulars?”

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#21

We Are All Nerds Together

We Are All Nerds Together

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can completely relate to this. I love it when I discover that a friend that I've known for years has an in depth knowledge on a subject I never suspected.

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#23

Good Guy Owner

Good Guy Owner

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this. In Germany it is forbidden by the law to look for food in supermarket dumpsters. As long as the food doesnt pose a safety hazard, the food should be donated (which some supermarkets do, but its only a few plus they have to pay tax for the food which they are donating, so not many do this).

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You can start conversations with strangers or invite a colleague or neighbor you don't know well to lunch. But the trick is to go beyond small talk – ask them how they're doing and what their daily life is like.

Put away your phone and other screens when you’re having conversations, even with the people you see every day, so you can fully listen and notice their facial expressions and gestures.

Also, follow people on social media with different backgrounds than you have (different race, religion, or political persuasion). 

#25

Stress Relief

Stress Relief

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And do not geet engaged into ridiculous competition. You do not need to have read the full History of Middle-earth to enjoy watching the hobbit. (You should, though, before criticising supposed plot-holes.)

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#26

Money Is Power, But Also Not

Money Is Power, But Also Not

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also when the minimum wage rises, you can hope that other employers will also offer more, to give people a reason to stay in their job instead of taking an 'easier' minimum wage job.

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#27

Better Late Than Never

Better Late Than Never

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Nat Hedley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude in my graduating class (back in 1997) was 84 years old at the time of his graduation. Learn like you'll live forever, it's never too late.

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But don’t just stand in someone else's shoes, as the saying goes—take a walk in them. For example, consider attending someone else's church, mosque, synagogue, or other houses of worship for a few weeks while they attend yours, or visit a village in a developing country and volunteer.

If you don't have enough time for these activities, you can simply explore a new neighborhood, or strike up a conversation with a homeless person in your community.

If someone’s behavior is bothering you, think about why. Consider what it’s like to live their daily life.

#29

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

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#31

How Lovely

How Lovely

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for this! Kids will never learn how to behave or communicate with others if they can't be at public places. My kids usually behave very well, but can be quite loud.

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Mike Rodrick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children must also learn to respect the rights of others & not be allowed to scream & yell without correction. This is where disrespect begins but it's up to parents to enforce it rather than the kids doing it unabated. Then again, adults are guilty of the same.

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Michael Sanders
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m gonna go half way on this. I think many people should be more tolerant of kids in public places. BUT those kids also aren’t going to learn how to behave in public if their parents don’t make any attempt to teach basic courtesy. Especially at restaurants with outdoor spaces where parents sit and drink while their kids run amok. Kids learning is one thing, using no discipline and expecting everyone else to deal with it is another.

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cursed--alien
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And babies acquiring their first language? One of the most fascinating things ever! I love it!

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Lovely_hobi
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this literally needs more points!! last time a lady said, "this is not an appropriate place for your baby to be making such noise" :^

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Simon Kwan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Response: This is not an appropriate place for an adult to behave worse than a baby.

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Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have new neighbors with little kids and it's fun to listen to them play, and the tiny gang of neighbor kids who tromp around and bike everywhere. Brings the neighborhood to life.

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The_tattered_hippie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for this. My oldest son is 6 but has be couped up in hospitals for the better part of 4 years. Needless to say his social skills are lacking. I try to take him with me wherever I go to hopefully help him acclimate to life outside hospitals and doctors. Some days go really great and some days don’t. I am constant apologizing on the days that don’t. But it makes me feel better that others are okay with his not so great days. 🥰

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abby smink
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Learning to talk and babbling, fine. Throwing a full alarm temper tantrum while the parents do nothing? Not fine.

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RoseTheMad
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES Honestly, I agree with this, mostly. The only time I do get annoyed by loud kids is on a plane or bus trip where there's no escape from it, as shrill noises can make my anxiety worseetc, but still, kids are kids. Otherwise, it's just as easy to get up and go, find another cafe, or go home in any other situation. I've become a lot more empathetic since taking in my goddaughter. Plus, my goddaughter is autistic - you never know that another child who is tantrum-ing is disabled in anyway and doesn't know any better. My eyes have been opened so much. xP

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H.L.Lewis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll never forget sitting on the couch at my neighbors house. Her son was sitting between myself and her husband, quietly reading aloud to himself. Jerk Daddy told him to shut the f*** up. Wasn't long before his wife divorced him. He was a good little kid.

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Crochet lady
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my 4 yr old son and my 2 yr old twin sons to see The Lion King, first trip to the movies for the twins. I intentionally took them during the day so it would be less crowded. One got excited by the pre-trailer stuff, you know, the no smoking, no littering kind of reel? So he's getting excited saying ooh look at that and I sear a 30/40 year old man turned around and glared at me and said "is he going to do that through the whole movie?" I said "it's a kids movie so you should expect kids, and no, he probably won't." I think I may have bared my teeth a bit like a lioness protecting her cub. Lol. Needless to say my apparently poorly behaved child behaved beautifully because of course once the movie started he was engrossed. But why be that person and make me feel bad my 2 YEAR OLD is saying ooh and ahh because he's having fun and clearly BEFORE the movie even started? Ugh.

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Vicky Z
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

However this doesn't mean that we don't even care if our kids are in other tables annoying other people and then say they are just kids! If I wanted complete silence yes I would have stayed home but if I wanted kids over my head I would have my own....

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elfin
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree that children are allowed in cafes and other public places and that this helps them learn how to behave around other people. The problem is when the parents let them run free and there learning that other people don't count.

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Marilyn Holt
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Again--a sign that would be useful many places. I remember growing up in a church where moms and small kids had to sit at the back in a room with a window and a closed door.

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Felix Feline
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A few churches I went to did that too. I liked it because I would go back there with the baby so I didn't have to "greet the person next to you and bid them peace".

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Zedrapazia
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a mentally noise sensitive person I heavily disagree with this. I can't even enter a train compartment when a small kid is in it because I would go insane if a small kid is screaming like a siren and the parents are doing no attempt to make it lower it's voice.

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Kate DiLiberto
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Noise cancelling head phones are key, if you are the sort who is easily distracted (like me.) Listen to music or even white noise while working in the cafe, and the noises around you don't even bother you!

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M Kate McCulloch
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it very easy to focus in a coffee shop even with all the noise. At home, I'm tuned into the noise because it's family - they may need me. Escaping to a noisy coffse shop is delightful and weirdly anonymous. I don't care if your kid cries, but if YOU are rude to me, I'll put you in my book... mwahahahahaaaa..

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Lyn Moffett
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People need to remember THEY were once kids and give parents a break.

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Hollie Marie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to go to the library to do my college work early in the morning and all the little children would come in with their parents for sing along time. I loved it the kids were so sweet

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Veronica Sjöberg
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally agree with this! Kids need to learn to behave in public and you need to take them with for that! And for all of those "yes but if its a tantrum or if they are loud the parents need to do something about it!!!". I used to feel that way pre-kids too. And i usually try to leave with my kids before they get worked up to that point, but sometimes (believe it or not) it will stop sooner if you just wait it out. It depends on the situation and when its already "tipped over" the tantrum is pretty much unstoppable. You can try to drag your kid out kicking and screaming or you could stand/sit with your kid and wait it out until they can focus again. Give it 5-10mins. Sometimes its the only way.

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TRAK9F
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't really complain. I'm the one in there typing on an actual typewriter.....

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sylvantic
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and if you do go to starbucks and what quiet, bring some noise cancellors

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Javiera Gotelli
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should be the logic used by every single grown up in restaurants' cafes, etc. Kids only learn to behave if we go out with them

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Curry on...
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love to hear little toddlers talking. So cute. Throwing a tantrum is a different conversation though.

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CatWoman312
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it’s cute when they are trying to talk. You can’t understand a word they’re saying and they will yell it at the top of their little lungs, but they’re trying 😂

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Sue User
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my nephew was eight he would get so excited telling me a story that I could barely understand him. Stupid covid, man I miss him.

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago

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I disagree. A restaurant isn’t a place for your baby to scream. People are there to eat and chat calmly, not hear some babbling baby who interrupts EVERYONE’S peace.

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Satirical Duchess
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

not trying to be funny or anything but building off op's point if you want restaurant food in peace then maybe you could get deliveroo or ubereats? I'm not trying to be rude I swear, I'm just saying so you could consider it maybe for the future? x

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#32

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a weird comment. Don't we all love the person that turns up at our doorstep with our eagerly awaited parcel??

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Remember, you don't need to understand everything about someone to make them feel respected. Just don’t make assumptions about people based on what your life is like. The people on this list certainly haven't.

We’re all humans, and we all have a desire to connect with one another. Building our empathy, considering the perspectives of others, and opening ourselves to uncomfortable conversations can make that happen.

#35

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

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Something
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would a saleswoman at a furniture store not want to sell furniture?

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#37

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

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#38

We’re All In This Together

We’re All In This Together

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people do make it their business to decide what other people should earn, how and where they should live and why they shouldn't have universal healthcare. They're called Republicans.

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#39

Ok Zoomer

Ok Zoomer

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Smartphones are the library of Alexandria? Wow, I have to remember this one!

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#40

They Had Us In The First Half

They Had Us In The First Half

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Karl Baxter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it amazing that some Christians arrogantly think that their religion somehow “owns” marriage. People were getting together and pairing up in a variety of rituals 1000s of years before Christianity turned up.

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#43

Speak Everything

Speak Everything

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#44

Learning Is Awesome

Learning Is Awesome

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also my favorite ones! And I love to talk about them to whoever cares to listen. ;)

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#46

You’re Doing Just Fine

You’re Doing Just Fine

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This stupid meme also failed to recognise that to develop skills and side hustles we really benefit from the support of friends and family. Hanging out and chatting enables our brains to get things in to perspective, sort out what we've learnt so far, and subconsciously start to work on what is to come next.

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#48

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

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#49

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

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#50

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

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