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To put it simply, gatekeeping is an act when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity ("You can't be a real Phoebe Bridgers fan, you just discovered her. Real fans follow her since at least Stranger in the Alps.") If this sounds ridiculous to you, don't worry. You're not alone.

There's a subreddit called r/GatesOpenComeOnIn and it describes itself as the polar opposite of gatekeeping. Created in 2018, this online community collects and shares pictures of wholesome acts of kindness when people had each other's backs. Whether it's encouraging everyone to share their Spotify Wrapped or simply allowing someone to feel tired, it doesn't take much to acknowledge another person's emotions, thoughts, experiences, values, and beliefs. Continue scrolling and check out how it's done.

#1

Wholesome Patriotism

Wholesome Patriotism

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As you can see from the pictures, empathy goes a long way. Developing it is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. Since empathy involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, it enables prosocial or helping behaviors that come from within, rather than being forced.

Sadly, some surveys indicate that empathy is on the decline in the United States and elsewhere. But at least these findings motivate parents, schools, and communities to support programs that help people of all ages enhance and maintain their ability to walk in each other’s shoes.

#2

Halloween For Everyone!

Halloween For Everyone!

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#3

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

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troufaki13
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If God created all creatures with his infinite wisdom, why would he hate something that HE created?

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Empathy really is a superpower: it helps us cooperate with others, build friendships, make moral decisions, and intervene when we see others being bullied.

Humans usually begin to show signs of empathy in infancy and the trait develops steadily through childhood and adolescence.

That being said, most people are likely to feel greater empathy for someone like themselves and may feel less empathy for those outside their family, community, ethnicity, or race.

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#6

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

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am_c0m0
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Minding our own business would solve a lot of our problems.

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Like other traits, empathy may have evolved with a selfish motive: using others as a "social antenna" to help detect danger. From an evolutionary point of view, creating a mental model of another person's intent is critical: the arrival of an interloper, for example, could be deadly, so developing sensitivity to the signals of others could be life-saving.

Babies display an understanding that people’s actions are guided by intentions and can act on that understanding before they turn 18 months old, including trying to comfort a parent. Advanced reasoning about other people’s thoughts develops around age 5-6.

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Experts say that people high in narcissism, or who have a narcissistic personality disorder, can exhibit empathy and even compassion. However, that ability only goes so far, as ultimately they prioritize their own needs.

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Some researchers believe narcissists can become more empathetic by developing greater self-compassion, which can increase their own feelings of security and self-worth and enable them to open up to hearing others.

#10

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

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#13

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

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Zuila
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boy loves colour pink and red. As soon as he was able to show it to me, I have made him red birthday cake and bought red or pink clothes. He also liked to play with baby doll, toy washing machine and cooking gadgets and we allowed him to play what ever he wanted. That phase has now mostly passed, but red is still his favourite colour.

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"Do a thought experiment," Mark Davis, a professor of psychology who has spent decades studying empathy, said. “Imagine if humans didn’t have the capacity for empathy. What would it mean if, in fact, we never gave a damn about what happened to other people? That’s an almost an inconceivable world."

"As awful a species as we can be — and we certainly have the capacity for terrible things — we’re also capable of some pretty wonderful things, noble things, self-sacrifice."

#14

Family Is A Family Is A Family

Family Is A Family Is A Family

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A while ago someone asked me if I “have a family”. I said yes and was genuinely confused when she started asking me about kids.

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#17

Never Too Late To Join A Movement

Never Too Late To Join A Movement

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Aayse
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love that point "it means you're growing as a person"

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Ozacoter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a friend that had problems too with why "all lives matter" was considered a bad movement. His point was the same that all people is valuable. But at the end he understood what this comic explains so well.

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Simon Kwan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah even though whales are mammals not fish but agree with the sentiment :-)

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Kay blue
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best explanation I heard was "all lives can't matter until black lives matter".

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Stille20
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of our biggest problems is we aren't welcoming to those who change their mind or willing to engage people in civil dialogue.

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Simon Kwan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Showing extra compassion for one group doesn't detract from the validity or value of other groups. It's not a zero sum game.

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Aj Grimes (they/it/she/he)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents always hit me with the phrase "All lives matter." I made a mask and it had BLM on it and my mom threatened me to throw it away, and told me that all lives matter. The mask is safely hidden in my closet.

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Simon Kwan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stay true to you. Sorry your parents don't share your values. Their aggressive behavior proves they do not in fact believe all lives matter because they are clearly and explicitly excluding black lives

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Aamna Shah
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, most of the 'all lives matter' crowd doesn't care about the police when Trump supporters kill them or forbid them from entering the capitol hill. When they say 'all lives matter', they're literally saying it to diffuse critique of an institution that has been instrumental, historically and presently in the murder of black people.

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Jeff Striks
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I struggled with this one for a long time. Since I don't discriminate, I didn't understand the significance of the movement. But the movement wasn't for me. It's for those who do discriminate. The racists who truly believe blacks have no place in society. It's a reminder for the ones who need to learn. Not the ones who already have learned the meaning of equality

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General kenobi
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah i actually didn’t understand about that when i first understood about rasicam, but my mom taught it to m, being honest, and slow, and yeah, now I know! Oh crap that rhymes.

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Justin Seagull
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you have a plate of food and someone tells you "eat the vegetables, it's healthy", you won't go on thinking the other foods aren't any good, it won't stop you from eating everything.

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Tabby_Sohee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And although all of the separate campaigns are super effective and really brave, all lives DO matter. Stop discriminating black lives. Stop spreading Asian hate. Stop looking down on immigrant Mexicans. Stop making fun of Arabian accents. We’re all people. You have better things to do than try and change that.

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Mel Smith
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awesome point. Black lives matter isn't "f**k everyone else", it's "we want to help this specific group that has more struggles than others" Just like feminism isn't "f**k men", it's "let's help a specific group that struggles/is put down more" When you all lives matter something that has a focused point, it makes it harder to organize and help the group in the focus. It draws the attention elsewhere, if there's another problem make another movement for it; don't piggyback

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Mateo Buysse
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

aged badly since i heard something about papers saying 'white lives also matter' in the uk were considered hate crimes. You know, in actuality, f**k the slogan black lives matter till someone can actually pinpoint me why the slogan 'all lives matter' is considered offensive.

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Vicky Z
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately I don't think that is so easy to explain it and change these people's mind!I wish it was that easy!

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Phantomwise
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If people would stop trying to find things to be "right" about and just listened to each other, so many problems could be solved.

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Molly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is funny because remember when the Democrats were like "we can't condemn anti-semitism on the House floor, we must condemn ALL hate." Because Democrats hate Jews.

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Mingi Football
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If everyone complied with the police we wouldn't be discussing this

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Aragorn II Elessar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@JohnFord could you direct me to your statistics? The ones I’ve seen suggest that yes, more white people are killed by cops, because there are more white people. More black people are killed per capita by cops, etc, etc, etc.

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Felix Feline
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He is incorrect: Although Black people represented 12 percent of the population in the states we studied, they made up 25 percent of the deaths in police shootings,” https://news.northeastern.edu/2020/07/16/the-research-is-clear-white-people-are-not-more-likely-than-black-people-to-be-killed-by-police/

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bill marsano
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Excellent logic but contrary to fact. Go here: https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2018/crime-in-the-u.s.-2018/tables/expanded-homicide-data-table-6.xls

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OJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what does homicide statistics have to do with the topic? i don’t know what u are trying to prove.

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Jonathan Litton
Community Member
3 years ago

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Is this why burn loot murder relies on lies & hoaxes to justify numerous terrorist attacks?

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Jarrod Nichols
Community Member
3 years ago

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Except that ISN'T what it has become. BLM has literally become the KKK against whites.

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Simon Kwan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You literally don't understand the definition of literally. Also, that was just an incorrect comment on so many levels. MAGA troll.

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John Ford
Community Member
3 years ago

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No. If you look up statistics this is factually incorrect

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. It's not. In the U.S., Black men face a 1 in 1,000 risk of being killed (not shot, killed) by a police officer. The risk for white men is 2.5 times that. Both are bad. Black folks have it worse. (You're thinking in raw numbers, but that would only work if there were an equal number of Black and white people in the country. There aren't.)

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What's In Your Head?
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3 years ago

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I will still say "all lives matter", because that is the core. I have never been racist, I have never approached/thought of people differently based on their skin colour. And yet I seem to fall into the racist category according to the mass because I refuse to buy into the whole damn "BLM" fad.

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, the system is racist. In the U.S., Black men face a 1 in 1,000 risk of being killed (not shot, killed) by a police officer. The risk for white men is 2.5 times that. Both are bad. Black folks have it worse. If you choose to be indifferent in these times, you're just letting the institutional racism continue unchallenged. Are you really okay with that?

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Interestingly, the word "empathy" is relatively new. It didn’t enter the English language until the early 1900s, derived from the German word einfühlung, according to Daniel Batson, a researcher of empathy and professor emeritus at Kansas University.

#18

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband doesnt find my jokes funny, but he cracks up when i cant finish the joke because im laughing so hard.. I love him!

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#19

It's The Thought That Counts

It's The Thought That Counts

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#20

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

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While some people are more naturally empathetic than others, there are easy, evidenced-based exercises that anyone can do to increase their empathy. 

First, talk to new people. Trying to imagine how someone else feels is often not enough. Luckily, the solution is simple: ask them. "For me, the core of empathy is curiosity," Jodi Halpern, a psychiatrist and bioethics professor at the University of California, Berkeley, who studies empathy, told The New York Times. "It's what is another person’s life actually like in its particulars?”

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#21

We Are All Nerds Together

We Are All Nerds Together

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can completely relate to this. I love it when I discover that a friend that I've known for years has an in depth knowledge on a subject I never suspected.

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#23

Good Guy Owner

Good Guy Owner

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this. In Germany it is forbidden by the law to look for food in supermarket dumpsters. As long as the food doesnt pose a safety hazard, the food should be donated (which some supermarkets do, but its only a few plus they have to pay tax for the food which they are donating, so not many do this).

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You can start conversations with strangers or invite a colleague or neighbor you don't know well to lunch. But the trick is to go beyond small talk – ask them how they're doing and what their daily life is like.

Put away your phone and other screens when you’re having conversations, even with the people you see every day, so you can fully listen and notice their facial expressions and gestures.

Also, follow people on social media with different backgrounds than you have (different race, religion, or political persuasion). 

#25

Stress Relief

Stress Relief

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And do not geet engaged into ridiculous competition. You do not need to have read the full History of Middle-earth to enjoy watching the hobbit. (You should, though, before criticising supposed plot-holes.)

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#26

Money Is Power, But Also Not

Money Is Power, But Also Not

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also when the minimum wage rises, you can hope that other employers will also offer more, to give people a reason to stay in their job instead of taking an 'easier' minimum wage job.

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#27

Better Late Than Never

Better Late Than Never

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Nat Hedley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude in my graduating class (back in 1997) was 84 years old at the time of his graduation. Learn like you'll live forever, it's never too late.

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But don’t just stand in someone else's shoes, as the saying goes—take a walk in them. For example, consider attending someone else's church, mosque, synagogue, or other houses of worship for a few weeks while they attend yours, or visit a village in a developing country and volunteer.

If you don't have enough time for these activities, you can simply explore a new neighborhood, or strike up a conversation with a homeless person in your community.

If someone’s behavior is bothering you, think about why. Consider what it’s like to live their daily life.

#29

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

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#31

How Lovely

How Lovely

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for this! Kids will never learn how to behave or communicate with others if they can't be at public places. My kids usually behave very well, but can be quite loud.

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#32

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a weird comment. Don't we all love the person that turns up at our doorstep with our eagerly awaited parcel??

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Remember, you don't need to understand everything about someone to make them feel respected. Just don’t make assumptions about people based on what your life is like. The people on this list certainly haven't.

We’re all humans, and we all have a desire to connect with one another. Building our empathy, considering the perspectives of others, and opening ourselves to uncomfortable conversations can make that happen.

#35

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

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Something
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would a saleswoman at a furniture store not want to sell furniture?

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#37

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

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#38

We’re All In This Together

We’re All In This Together

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people do make it their business to decide what other people should earn, how and where they should live and why they shouldn't have universal healthcare. They're called Republicans.

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#39

Ok Zoomer

Ok Zoomer

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Smartphones are the library of Alexandria? Wow, I have to remember this one!

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#40

They Had Us In The First Half

They Had Us In The First Half

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Karl Baxter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it amazing that some Christians arrogantly think that their religion somehow “owns” marriage. People were getting together and pairing up in a variety of rituals 1000s of years before Christianity turned up.

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#43

Speak Everything

Speak Everything

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#44

Learning Is Awesome

Learning Is Awesome

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also my favorite ones! And I love to talk about them to whoever cares to listen. ;)

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#46

You’re Doing Just Fine

You’re Doing Just Fine

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This stupid meme also failed to recognise that to develop skills and side hustles we really benefit from the support of friends and family. Hanging out and chatting enables our brains to get things in to perspective, sort out what we've learnt so far, and subconsciously start to work on what is to come next.

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#48

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

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#49

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

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#50

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

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