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To put it simply, gatekeeping is an act when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity ("You can't be a real Phoebe Bridgers fan, you just discovered her. Real fans follow her since at least Stranger in the Alps.") If this sounds ridiculous to you, don't worry. You're not alone.

There's a subreddit called r/GatesOpenComeOnIn and it describes itself as the polar opposite of gatekeeping. Created in 2018, this online community collects and shares pictures of wholesome acts of kindness when people had each other's backs. Whether it's encouraging everyone to share their Spotify Wrapped or simply allowing someone to feel tired, it doesn't take much to acknowledge another person's emotions, thoughts, experiences, values, and beliefs. Continue scrolling and check out how it's done.

#1

Wholesome Patriotism

Wholesome Patriotism

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Katarzyna Drozd
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well we need this so f****** much in Poland, where government took away women rights to decide about our bodies

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Carmen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I fully understand what you are going through, from my personal experience (Socialist Romania, when we had to have 4 and then 5 children each before having a legal abortion = result? thousands of dead or maimed women, mentally scared for life).

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I personally couldn't have chosen the abortion and all my kids are loved. But I really do understand why someone wants to choose differently so I am with the same page as this man. Pro-choice!

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jamie1707
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what my Mom used to say. She was a RN/PA who worked for Planned Parenthood. She walked away from a large, lucrative ob/gyn practice to do so. We were so proud of her.

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

More importantly, anti-choice is the opposite view. Not pro-life. Pro-life is a lie the anti-choice crowd use to deceive people.

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Bonita
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are always situations that requiring abortion for the health of the mother or baby, I didn't know I was pregnant when I was given Acutane, having to have that abortion destroyed me. Abortion isn't a viable choice for birth control, which seems to driving the numbers up.

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nailed it. There’s a reason it’s called Pro-Choice, not Pro-Abortion. It’s the CHOICE that we’re at risk of losing, so it’s the real point here, not the medical procedure. To compound this, the same people who want to take away our choice also want to take away most of what will prevent unwanted pregnancies in the first place. Except for their own mistresses, that is.

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Maureen Matthew
Community Member
3 years ago

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Nice argument but a big fail. Choice is ONLY discussed in the context of access to abortion. Yes it should be discussed in the larger context of, as a mature adult woman you have the choice NOT to get pregnant but that requires you actually do something proactive rather than defaulting to getting an abortion. Or taking actual responsibility for your decisions such as having sex without protection. Unfortunately the vast majority of women use 'pro choice' as a 'get out of jail free card and I don't have to take any responsibility for things that just happen' You don't just 'happen' to get pregnant

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Paul Davis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People forget that when the first laws legalizing abortion were passed in the U.S., it wasn't because everyone loves aborting babies. It was because of the horrible and heart-breaking stories of young teenaged girls getting the back-alley abortions and often dying from the procedure. And guess where most of that happened -- in the most deeply conservative religious areas, because they are always the worst about suppressing information about how sex and pregnancy work, and wouldn't let people practice safe birth control methods. So by all means make it illegal again, we'll see all those preachers' daughters back in the alleys getting the wire-hanger treatment again, and it will all be wonderful won't it?

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You seem confused. Back alley abortions would never have existed if doctors were able to do their jobs. You’re making circular reasoning.

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deanna woods
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the kind of people we need in the US. People who realize that what someone else does to their body is no one's business.

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Maureen Matthew
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But your body is also the body of a child. That 'clump of cells' doesn't become ANYTHING ELSE other than a human being

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Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does the baby have a living will? Stop acting like it's a crime to be preganant thereby giving the Mom more choices instead of limiting them to abortion.

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Jen Cook
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He gets it! Far too many who learn you're pro-choice respond with "so you'd get an abortion?". No, that is not what that means, it's doesn't mean I won't either, it means that I will hold any woman's hand through whatever decision she makes knowing it's right for HER and respect the s**t out of her regardless.

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M Kate McCulloch
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pro-choice and would much prefer people get effective sex ed. so we can prevent a lot of abortions.

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Steve in Denver
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Such an awesome statement. I've been accused of being "pro-abortion," and I shut down that noise. I am PRO-PREVENTION and recognize that abortion is necessary. I also leave that decision up to a woman and her doctor.

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Spiffsmom
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you! Old white men in the senate and congress and governors do not have the rights to dictate what a women or any gender should or shouldn’t do to their bodies. Last I checked I am not owned by the government.

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mckenna kelly
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

at 14 days the unborn has eyes and at 18 days the unborn has a heart beat. your decision to abort is your choice? what about what the father wants and most importantly, the unborn baby has a wanting desire to live. but hey, its your choice

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Asper Rated
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. Most people against pro choice approach it with a religious argument. And religion has not a scrap at what's being discussed with pro choice.

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HorseMuse
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you! My Daughter and granddaughter thanks you!

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Brenda Swann
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bless you sir. You may never know what this simple expression means to females of this world.

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Waffles
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree! Personally, I'm against abortion unless in severe cases - rape, baby dies after birth, mother complications - but I'm pro-choice. My opinion should not dictate the law.

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Maureen Matthew
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a conservative and I have no problem if a woman wants to kill her child, but at least own it and don't pretend it is choice. Your choice started when you didn't take even reasonable and easily available ways to prevent a pregnancy (we are NOT living in 1921!). If women want to pretend that they are fully independent and responsible women, THIS isn't the way to do it. AND don't insist, using the force of government, that I must believe in your choice and not believe that you are nothing but an irresponsible git.

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Maureen Matthew
Community Member
3 years ago

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CincyReds
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow! I just love this, and he could not have said it any better! And I totally agree with him!

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Downunderdude
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good on him, but I'm not sure what this has to do with patriotism.

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Karen Grace
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Stephanie Keith... pro choice means I will support your decision either way even if it's not the choice I would make. It means your decision is yours to make, I have no right to force my ideals onto you. It does Not mean I don't care.

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Maureen Matthew
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True, but then the pro choice movement also needs to accept that I might not want my taxes to pay for your choice, and I also have a equal right to protest and suggest that you are not a responsible, mature adult woman. Are you prepared to accept my views as well?

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El Dee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Freedom of choice is supposed to be the American Way..

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Declan Herendeen
Community Member
3 years ago

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The_tattered_hippie
Community Member
3 years ago

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Ozacoter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of abortions dont come out of choice. For example if I get pregnant there is a big chance that I might die and a huge chance that the fetus will. How aborting is an option for me? Its a treatment and it should be paid by public healthcare

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Truth Monster
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, I am conflicted with the subject of abortion. On the one hand, the most libertarian of me agrees with him, but the most humanitarian part also has the question of: what about the fetus' rights? At what point is the fetus a person (and therefore has rights) and should be protected against what would be murder if it were a person? Most of the pro-abortion gloss over the fact that infants have survived "separate from the mother" as young as 21 weeks, and as neonatal care improves that number is likely to go down. At this point in time, it is legal to kill a viable fetus who, with neonatal support, could survive separate from the mother ( its a low chance, but still).

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The_tattered_hippie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s I think were the struggle is. Science has proven life begins at sperm-egg fusion. . A zygote is an organism- individually constituted to carry on the activities of life by means of organs, separate in function but mutually dependent: a living being. So, from there it become a moral debate on when is it morally or legally okay to end a life.

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Fixin'Ta
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm confused ... what does this have to do with having someone's back online? (I'm not invalidating the dude's sign, just wondering if this ended up in the wrong place? Or am I just missing something?)

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Mark Schilling
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's a man. He's basically saying that a woman's medical needs are none of his business.

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Fan-tastic panda
Community Member
3 years ago

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no, just, wrong in so many ways... Don't kill your baby, please, inside or out it is still alive and is still a baby

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Mama Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And are you going to be there to take care of the baby? Pay all the medical bills associated with the pregnancy and the child that the mother possibly couldn't do on her own? Are you willing to adopt, feed, clothe and shelter all of these babies that you are trying to save? No? I thought so. Until you all Pro lifers and Anti Choicers start adopting all of the orphans that are in your countries to the point of there being no orphans regardless of their ages, then maybe I will give you the time of day. Until then, shut your pie hole and stop thinking only about yourself and trying to get into heaven. It's not about you, it's about women who for whatever reason and it's none of yours btw, need or want an abortion.

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D H
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3 years ago

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Now substitute pro gun rights for pro choice and see what the response is

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As you can see from the pictures, empathy goes a long way. Developing it is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. Since empathy involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, it enables prosocial or helping behaviors that come from within, rather than being forced.

Sadly, some surveys indicate that empathy is on the decline in the United States and elsewhere. But at least these findings motivate parents, schools, and communities to support programs that help people of all ages enhance and maintain their ability to walk in each other’s shoes.

#2

Halloween For Everyone!

Halloween For Everyone!

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#3

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

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troufaki13
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If God created all creatures with his infinite wisdom, why would he hate something that HE created?

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Empathy really is a superpower: it helps us cooperate with others, build friendships, make moral decisions, and intervene when we see others being bullied.

Humans usually begin to show signs of empathy in infancy and the trait develops steadily through childhood and adolescence.

That being said, most people are likely to feel greater empathy for someone like themselves and may feel less empathy for those outside their family, community, ethnicity, or race.

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#6

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

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am_c0m0
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Minding our own business would solve a lot of our problems.

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Like other traits, empathy may have evolved with a selfish motive: using others as a "social antenna" to help detect danger. From an evolutionary point of view, creating a mental model of another person's intent is critical: the arrival of an interloper, for example, could be deadly, so developing sensitivity to the signals of others could be life-saving.

Babies display an understanding that people’s actions are guided by intentions and can act on that understanding before they turn 18 months old, including trying to comfort a parent. Advanced reasoning about other people’s thoughts develops around age 5-6.

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Experts say that people high in narcissism, or who have a narcissistic personality disorder, can exhibit empathy and even compassion. However, that ability only goes so far, as ultimately they prioritize their own needs.

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Some researchers believe narcissists can become more empathetic by developing greater self-compassion, which can increase their own feelings of security and self-worth and enable them to open up to hearing others.

#10

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

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#13

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boy loves colour pink and red. As soon as he was able to show it to me, I have made him red birthday cake and bought red or pink clothes. He also liked to play with baby doll, toy washing machine and cooking gadgets and we allowed him to play what ever he wanted. That phase has now mostly passed, but red is still his favourite colour.

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"Do a thought experiment," Mark Davis, a professor of psychology who has spent decades studying empathy, said. “Imagine if humans didn’t have the capacity for empathy. What would it mean if, in fact, we never gave a damn about what happened to other people? That’s an almost an inconceivable world."

"As awful a species as we can be — and we certainly have the capacity for terrible things — we’re also capable of some pretty wonderful things, noble things, self-sacrifice."

#14

Family Is A Family Is A Family

Family Is A Family Is A Family

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A while ago someone asked me if I “have a family”. I said yes and was genuinely confused when she started asking me about kids.

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Interestingly, the word "empathy" is relatively new. It didn’t enter the English language until the early 1900s, derived from the German word einfühlung, according to Daniel Batson, a researcher of empathy and professor emeritus at Kansas University.

#18

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband doesnt find my jokes funny, but he cracks up when i cant finish the joke because im laughing so hard.. I love him!

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#19

It's The Thought That Counts

It's The Thought That Counts

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#20

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

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While some people are more naturally empathetic than others, there are easy, evidenced-based exercises that anyone can do to increase their empathy. 

First, talk to new people. Trying to imagine how someone else feels is often not enough. Luckily, the solution is simple: ask them. "For me, the core of empathy is curiosity," Jodi Halpern, a psychiatrist and bioethics professor at the University of California, Berkeley, who studies empathy, told The New York Times. "It's what is another person’s life actually like in its particulars?”

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#21

We Are All Nerds Together

We Are All Nerds Together

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can completely relate to this. I love it when I discover that a friend that I've known for years has an in depth knowledge on a subject I never suspected.

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#23

Good Guy Owner

Good Guy Owner

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this. In Germany it is forbidden by the law to look for food in supermarket dumpsters. As long as the food doesnt pose a safety hazard, the food should be donated (which some supermarkets do, but its only a few plus they have to pay tax for the food which they are donating, so not many do this).

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You can start conversations with strangers or invite a colleague or neighbor you don't know well to lunch. But the trick is to go beyond small talk – ask them how they're doing and what their daily life is like.

Put away your phone and other screens when you’re having conversations, even with the people you see every day, so you can fully listen and notice their facial expressions and gestures.

Also, follow people on social media with different backgrounds than you have (different race, religion, or political persuasion). 

#25

Stress Relief

Stress Relief

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And do not geet engaged into ridiculous competition. You do not need to have read the full History of Middle-earth to enjoy watching the hobbit. (You should, though, before criticising supposed plot-holes.)

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#26

Money Is Power, But Also Not

Money Is Power, But Also Not

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also when the minimum wage rises, you can hope that other employers will also offer more, to give people a reason to stay in their job instead of taking an 'easier' minimum wage job.

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#27

Better Late Than Never

Better Late Than Never

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Nat Hedley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude in my graduating class (back in 1997) was 84 years old at the time of his graduation. Learn like you'll live forever, it's never too late.

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But don’t just stand in someone else's shoes, as the saying goes—take a walk in them. For example, consider attending someone else's church, mosque, synagogue, or other houses of worship for a few weeks while they attend yours, or visit a village in a developing country and volunteer.

If you don't have enough time for these activities, you can simply explore a new neighborhood, or strike up a conversation with a homeless person in your community.

If someone’s behavior is bothering you, think about why. Consider what it’s like to live their daily life.

#29

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

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#31

How Lovely

How Lovely

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for this! Kids will never learn how to behave or communicate with others if they can't be at public places. My kids usually behave very well, but can be quite loud.

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#32

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a weird comment. Don't we all love the person that turns up at our doorstep with our eagerly awaited parcel??

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Remember, you don't need to understand everything about someone to make them feel respected. Just don’t make assumptions about people based on what your life is like. The people on this list certainly haven't.

We’re all humans, and we all have a desire to connect with one another. Building our empathy, considering the perspectives of others, and opening ourselves to uncomfortable conversations can make that happen.

#35

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

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Something
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would a saleswoman at a furniture store not want to sell furniture?

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#37

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

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#38

We’re All In This Together

We’re All In This Together

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people do make it their business to decide what other people should earn, how and where they should live and why they shouldn't have universal healthcare. They're called Republicans.

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#39

Ok Zoomer

Ok Zoomer

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Smartphones are the library of Alexandria? Wow, I have to remember this one!

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#40

They Had Us In The First Half

They Had Us In The First Half

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Karl Baxter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it amazing that some Christians arrogantly think that their religion somehow “owns” marriage. People were getting together and pairing up in a variety of rituals 1000s of years before Christianity turned up.

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#43

Speak Everything

Speak Everything

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#44

Learning Is Awesome

Learning Is Awesome

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also my favorite ones! And I love to talk about them to whoever cares to listen. ;)

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#46

You’re Doing Just Fine

You’re Doing Just Fine

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This stupid meme also failed to recognise that to develop skills and side hustles we really benefit from the support of friends and family. Hanging out and chatting enables our brains to get things in to perspective, sort out what we've learnt so far, and subconsciously start to work on what is to come next.

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#48

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

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#49

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

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#50

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

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