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To put it simply, gatekeeping is an act when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity ("You can't be a real Phoebe Bridgers fan, you just discovered her. Real fans follow her since at least Stranger in the Alps.") If this sounds ridiculous to you, don't worry. You're not alone.

There's a subreddit called r/GatesOpenComeOnIn and it describes itself as the polar opposite of gatekeeping. Created in 2018, this online community collects and shares pictures of wholesome acts of kindness when people had each other's backs. Whether it's encouraging everyone to share their Spotify Wrapped or simply allowing someone to feel tired, it doesn't take much to acknowledge another person's emotions, thoughts, experiences, values, and beliefs. Continue scrolling and check out how it's done.

#1

Wholesome Patriotism

Wholesome Patriotism

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As you can see from the pictures, empathy goes a long way. Developing it is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. Since empathy involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, it enables prosocial or helping behaviors that come from within, rather than being forced.

Sadly, some surveys indicate that empathy is on the decline in the United States and elsewhere. But at least these findings motivate parents, schools, and communities to support programs that help people of all ages enhance and maintain their ability to walk in each other’s shoes.

#2

Halloween For Everyone!

Halloween For Everyone!

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#3

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

Come On In And Long As You’re Nice

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troufaki13
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If God created all creatures with his infinite wisdom, why would he hate something that HE created?

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Empathy really is a superpower: it helps us cooperate with others, build friendships, make moral decisions, and intervene when we see others being bullied.

Humans usually begin to show signs of empathy in infancy and the trait develops steadily through childhood and adolescence.

That being said, most people are likely to feel greater empathy for someone like themselves and may feel less empathy for those outside their family, community, ethnicity, or race.

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#6

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

Minding Your Own Business Is Free

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am_c0m0
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Minding our own business would solve a lot of our problems.

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Like other traits, empathy may have evolved with a selfish motive: using others as a "social antenna" to help detect danger. From an evolutionary point of view, creating a mental model of another person's intent is critical: the arrival of an interloper, for example, could be deadly, so developing sensitivity to the signals of others could be life-saving.

Babies display an understanding that people’s actions are guided by intentions and can act on that understanding before they turn 18 months old, including trying to comfort a parent. Advanced reasoning about other people’s thoughts develops around age 5-6.

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Experts say that people high in narcissism, or who have a narcissistic personality disorder, can exhibit empathy and even compassion. However, that ability only goes so far, as ultimately they prioritize their own needs.

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Some researchers believe narcissists can become more empathetic by developing greater self-compassion, which can increase their own feelings of security and self-worth and enable them to open up to hearing others.

#10

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

Shout Out To The Solo Eaters

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#13

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boy loves colour pink and red. As soon as he was able to show it to me, I have made him red birthday cake and bought red or pink clothes. He also liked to play with baby doll, toy washing machine and cooking gadgets and we allowed him to play what ever he wanted. That phase has now mostly passed, but red is still his favourite colour.

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"Do a thought experiment," Mark Davis, a professor of psychology who has spent decades studying empathy, said. “Imagine if humans didn’t have the capacity for empathy. What would it mean if, in fact, we never gave a damn about what happened to other people? That’s an almost an inconceivable world."

"As awful a species as we can be — and we certainly have the capacity for terrible things — we’re also capable of some pretty wonderful things, noble things, self-sacrifice."

#14

Family Is A Family Is A Family

Family Is A Family Is A Family

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A while ago someone asked me if I “have a family”. I said yes and was genuinely confused when she started asking me about kids.

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Interestingly, the word "empathy" is relatively new. It didn’t enter the English language until the early 1900s, derived from the German word einfühlung, according to Daniel Batson, a researcher of empathy and professor emeritus at Kansas University.

#18

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

Felt Like This Might Belong Here

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband doesnt find my jokes funny, but he cracks up when i cant finish the joke because im laughing so hard.. I love him!

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#19

It's The Thought That Counts

It's The Thought That Counts

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#20

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

Never Too Late For New Beginnings

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While some people are more naturally empathetic than others, there are easy, evidenced-based exercises that anyone can do to increase their empathy. 

First, talk to new people. Trying to imagine how someone else feels is often not enough. Luckily, the solution is simple: ask them. "For me, the core of empathy is curiosity," Jodi Halpern, a psychiatrist and bioethics professor at the University of California, Berkeley, who studies empathy, told The New York Times. "It's what is another person’s life actually like in its particulars?”

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#21

We Are All Nerds Together

We Are All Nerds Together

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can completely relate to this. I love it when I discover that a friend that I've known for years has an in depth knowledge on a subject I never suspected.

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#23

Good Guy Owner

Good Guy Owner

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MauKini
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this. In Germany it is forbidden by the law to look for food in supermarket dumpsters. As long as the food doesnt pose a safety hazard, the food should be donated (which some supermarkets do, but its only a few plus they have to pay tax for the food which they are donating, so not many do this).

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You can start conversations with strangers or invite a colleague or neighbor you don't know well to lunch. But the trick is to go beyond small talk – ask them how they're doing and what their daily life is like.

Put away your phone and other screens when you’re having conversations, even with the people you see every day, so you can fully listen and notice their facial expressions and gestures.

Also, follow people on social media with different backgrounds than you have (different race, religion, or political persuasion). 

#25

Stress Relief

Stress Relief

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And do not geet engaged into ridiculous competition. You do not need to have read the full History of Middle-earth to enjoy watching the hobbit. (You should, though, before criticising supposed plot-holes.)

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#26

Money Is Power, But Also Not

Money Is Power, But Also Not

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also when the minimum wage rises, you can hope that other employers will also offer more, to give people a reason to stay in their job instead of taking an 'easier' minimum wage job.

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#27

Better Late Than Never

Better Late Than Never

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Nat Hedley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude in my graduating class (back in 1997) was 84 years old at the time of his graduation. Learn like you'll live forever, it's never too late.

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But don’t just stand in someone else's shoes, as the saying goes—take a walk in them. For example, consider attending someone else's church, mosque, synagogue, or other houses of worship for a few weeks while they attend yours, or visit a village in a developing country and volunteer.

If you don't have enough time for these activities, you can simply explore a new neighborhood, or strike up a conversation with a homeless person in your community.

If someone’s behavior is bothering you, think about why. Consider what it’s like to live their daily life.

#29

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be

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#31

How Lovely

How Lovely

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Zuila
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for this! Kids will never learn how to behave or communicate with others if they can't be at public places. My kids usually behave very well, but can be quite loud.

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#32

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a weird comment. Don't we all love the person that turns up at our doorstep with our eagerly awaited parcel??

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Remember, you don't need to understand everything about someone to make them feel respected. Just don’t make assumptions about people based on what your life is like. The people on this list certainly haven't.

We’re all humans, and we all have a desire to connect with one another. Building our empathy, considering the perspectives of others, and opening ourselves to uncomfortable conversations can make that happen.

#35

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"

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Something
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would a saleswoman at a furniture store not want to sell furniture?

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#37

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important

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#38

We’re All In This Together

We’re All In This Together

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people do make it their business to decide what other people should earn, how and where they should live and why they shouldn't have universal healthcare. They're called Republicans.

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#39

Ok Zoomer

Ok Zoomer

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Smartphones are the library of Alexandria? Wow, I have to remember this one!

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#40

They Had Us In The First Half

They Had Us In The First Half

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Karl Baxter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it amazing that some Christians arrogantly think that their religion somehow “owns” marriage. People were getting together and pairing up in a variety of rituals 1000s of years before Christianity turned up.

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#43

Speak Everything

Speak Everything

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#44

Learning Is Awesome

Learning Is Awesome

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also my favorite ones! And I love to talk about them to whoever cares to listen. ;)

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#46

You’re Doing Just Fine

You’re Doing Just Fine

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This stupid meme also failed to recognise that to develop skills and side hustles we really benefit from the support of friends and family. Hanging out and chatting enables our brains to get things in to perspective, sort out what we've learnt so far, and subconsciously start to work on what is to come next.

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#48

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t

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#49

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all

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N G
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Slightly unpopular comment - I might still get it wrong once or twice, but if pointed out I will apologise and correct myself going forward. It's not an attack on you if I take steps to get it right - it's evidence that humans make mistakes

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Bow, I’m a Slytherin
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as you apologise and correct yourself, I’d (and I’m a transgender boy) would be fine. It’s hard to adjust, but as long as you try.

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Anni
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At first, it's a bit hard to overcome old habits (having known her for years and then "suddenly" calling the same person by his actual name and pronoun) and I am always thankful and happy when those affected by me falling back into old habits are not angry but patient with me until I catch up. I'm doing my best - but will still fail every now and then... (Not too often, I hope.)

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Ozacoter
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a childhood friend (like the son of my fathers friend). I never saw him since he changed his pronouns so its very difficult for me to think about that person as a he (since I never saw him presenting as a guy). It always makes me feel guilty.

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Marylen
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Society: If I can ask as well that when I'm making an effort but I get it wrong, I would appreciate it that you don't get angry at me... I'm trying my best :-) Trans: Of course, I appreciate that you are making an effort and I understand that we all make mistakes and that there are a lot of things going on in your life! Society: :-) Trans: :-)

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Nick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw someone on another post refer to someone else as "You Donut". I'm going to go with that. I don't care what your name or pronoun is. I'm going to be like "This Donut over here...". "Excuse me you donut...". Way easier.

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Judy Windham Saunders
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

May I add one caveat? I'm 73 years old. My memory is swiss cheese. So if I met you one time three months ago, and I accidentally call you "him" or "her" by mistake when I see you again, please don't rape me on Facebook for being socially unaware, whatever that is. I'm doing the best I can and if you can't respect that, then why do you expect me to respect you? You do you, and let me do my best, and don't be a D**k if I forget you're "zem" or "zir" this week. Thank you.

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Jane Ramirez
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just please be patient with me. I'm old and I've been talking for a lot of decades. Sometimes I forget or stumble over your preferred pronouns. But I'm trying! Can I give you a hug?

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Sigmand Froid
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except when I keep making mistakes because of what I was socialized to think like. I have a lovely trans woman whom I keep calling 'man' in our friendly encounters at the pool, mailbox, parking lot and other social settings. She is always correcting me gently and I find myself angry with myself for my brain not getting used to this change. So Trans people, there are people like me who mean no harm and it may take time to get used to what you want and meanwhile, please be patient.

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d bradley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if you are willing to chop off your privates just to convince yourself who you are, then have at it

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Lsai Aeon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True, BUT, If I've known you for the last 30 years as Fred, and now you are Ginny, be patient, that's gonna take me some time to remember

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Tobias the Tiger
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a trans person, I understand completely, and I believe most other people who are trans/nonbinary/go by different names for other reasons understand as well. Just be sure to try your best.

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albernistuff 4sale
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will use what name you like, but don't go effing ballistic if I forget the proper pronoun a few times...I am bad enough with remembering names/faces of people I have met. Mostly I just respond with "Hi, How are things" "What you been up to?"

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Amy S
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Has anyone ever gone ballistic at you for accidentally using the wrong pronoun?

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Jamziee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This gave me the same fuzzy feelings as when my sister called me my preffered name for the first time :]

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Cooper
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aww. That’s so sweet. I wish I had siblings I could trust like that. I’m happy you’re able to tell some family and be accepted!

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Arthur Waite
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

society: please keep me informed of changes in the social rules so I don't trespass thru ignorance.

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lara
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I haven't met you, could you please wear a name tag with pertinent info?

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Thomas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Hi, I'm Mike", "no, I'll call you Eduardo".. it's not very difficult to call people the way they want to be called. Unless they're friends and then they get the nickname they deserve :)

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Deborah B
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sibling-in-law just came out as non-binary. They have pronoun pins! I think that's so cool, because it helps us be appropriate to how they are engaging with the world on any particular day.

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Autumn
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm gonna be honest though..... I cannot remember who switches name. Some people I know have switches multiple times over the course of a few weeks or some people I've known forever and they just change their names suddenly. I'm trying to keep up but it's hard.

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Logic and Reason
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To the people that whine about referring to someone as they/them as being grammatically incorrect: who the hell cares? Just respect your fellow humans kthx

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El Dee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are people SO concerned about other people's bodies or sexuality or sexual identity. It's not contagious..

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Sean N
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So... adhere to my guidelines and not your own, individual ones. Sure. Just be who you are w/o the expectation of other folks having to conform.

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Johnny
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a tough one to solve, one's preferred pronouns aren't always obvious from their appearance, and people aren't (yet) accustomed to asking first.

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Marnie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope we never become accostomed to asking. It's going too far and being too demanding. If someone tells me, I will do my best to use he or she as requested. But I'm not going to ask every person I meet which pronoun they prefer. That's on them.

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My given name is Nicole, but I've always preferred Nikki. So why would you deliberately annoy me by calling me Nicole? People should be referred to the way THEY wish, not the way YOU wish.

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N G
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try being called Nicola and having it rejected as "wrong" and be referred to as Nicole because that's the "real" name! *sigh*. Small wonder I go by Nikki as well!

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#50

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

Do Whatever Makes You Happy

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Note: this post originally had 92 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.