The holiday season is in full swing, and we feel like it’s the best time of the year to remember how wholesome, kind, supportive, welcoming, and selfless people can truly be, despite their perceived differences. That’s why we’re featuring the ‘Gates Open, Come On In’ subreddit, an online community of nearly 340k people today.
The online group presents itself as the exact opposite of r/gatekeeping and features folks being true legends who accept others no matter who they are, instead of angry gremlins who don’t want to let anyone new into their communities. Scroll down for some of the best anti-gatekeeping posts and hard proof that people really do have each others’ backs when push comes to shove.
Pssst, Pandas, if you’re looking to restore some more faith in humanity, then you’ll definitely want to check out Bored Panda’s previous article about some more great real-life anti-gatekeeping examples. You can read it right here.
British psychotherapist Silva Neves shared with Bored Panda his take on why some people feel the need to act as gatekeepers at all. "The theory is that it comes from our inner sense of survival. At times when we lived in tribes, it was part of survival to fear people outside of the tribe because they might have been a threat to the tribe," he explained to me. "In our modern world, to some extent, we have kept that sense of survival, although unnecessary now, but still subconsciously strong."
However, Silva notes just how much impact even small gestures of kindness can have. "When we learn to be kind to others, we're actually learning to be kind to ourselves. We need both." Scroll down for to read what he had to say about this.
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"We don't often realize that a very small gesture of kindness, even just a smile to a stranger, can trigger a chain of kindness and love to their social circle, and the ripple effects can be felt to the greater society," psychotherapist Silva shared with Bored Panda the power that even a small act of kindness can have in the world around us. In fact, we're naturally hard-wired to help others.
Everyone (Saw This Posted Somewhere Else On Reddit So Thought It'd Be Worth The Cross-Post)
Marry Whomever You Wish
"Being kind and helpful is a natural high for us, as it produced feel-good brain chemicals, so it tends to make us happier. Seeing others happy can also produce feel-good chemicals. So it is all round a very good thing for physical and mental health to be kind to ourselves and others," he said.
"If we do that, we tend to live happier lives and, even if we don't always see it, it is important to remind ourselves that any small gesture of kindness contributes to a kinder world. And, right now, the world needs a lot more kindness."
I Just Like Animals
We Can All Get Along!
Everyone Starts Somewhere
‘Action for Happiness’ explained to me earlier that altruism and kindness are closely linked to our own happiness.
"Think about how you can reach out and do things for others, help a neighbor or volunteer for a cause, we get happiness high from helping other people. Or start small and simply list three things that you can be grateful for each night before bed,” Sarah Vero from ‘Action for Happiness’ shared with Bored Panda.
According to Sarah, the 10 keys to happier living are: “Giving, relating, exercising, awareness, trying out, direction, resilience, emotions, acceptance, and meaning. We are likely to be happier if our lives have direction, meaning, and purpose and if we are part of something bigger than ourselves.”
Depression Gateopening
Read It All
Keep Doing What You Like, Support Others Who Do The Sam
Vanessa King, the Head of Psychology at ‘Action for Happiness,’ noted that we’re a social species and that helping others out is part of who we are. Being kind, lending a helping hand are the “social glue that keeps us together.”
“When we do things for others it activates the reward center in the brain, so when we give a gift it feels the same as receiving a gift," Vanessa stressed.
“Small daily actions one at a time can help us to make altruism a lifetime habit. You could start out small by deciding you are going to smile at everyone you meet or pay three people a compliment today,” she said.
You're Not A Product
I have to say the internet ruined quite a few hobbies for me. Going out to find tips and tricks and finding communities full of people who are soooooo much better at it then I’ll ever be, discourages me too much. In “ye old days” I just did whatever I liked and never knew how bad I was at it. So now I just avoid those kind of hobbies online. I’m happier not knowing if I’m good or not :)
I'm getting into woodworking as a hobby. While browsing online for inspiration for my next project, I found someone selling the exact cabinet I wanted to build for 40 bucks. Totally put off as it'll cost me three times that just for the lumber. I was super relieved later when I realised it was a scam site.
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I had a few people say I should sell scrapbook pages but I know it would ruin the fun for me. I have no interest in making any of my hobbies into a business.
I am the same with my handcraft hobbies. I just can't do it when I have to, it loses all its fun and becomes a chore. I only ever make things for other people as surprise gifts, never for order.
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I really needed to see this. I have been looking for a hobby so that I can be productive and stop just laying here being useless. But every hobby I try just makes me feel worse because I want to be good at it very quickly. Its hard to keep going with something you are bad at when people around me expect perfection. I'm screenshotting this to look at when I go back to one of the hobbies I've tried and quit.
Remember: don't compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else's highlight reel. It's not fair to yourself or your mental health.
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It took me 40 years, but I realized that I can, in fact, simply choose to be happy. Part of that choice is learning to enjoy things even when you don't excel at them. Now, back to my crappy guitar playing because I love it.
Turning hobbies into side hustles is a good way of not having any hobbies.
Sang badly in church once when married to my ex. He pointed it out a I noticed others smirking around me. I loudly replied, "I don't think God cares how I sing, as long as I'm singing." Wiped that smirk off all their faces.
Why would someone smirk at someone else singing? Granted, I have misophonia which decides to give me terrible panic attacks when I'm around terrible singers for an extended period of time, but if I didn't then I would be able to help them get better at it. They shouldn't have been judging you, and good job for reporting the way you did. You're absolutely right.
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Or the Goth attitude. But technically, I suppose punk is Goth's older cousin, and Emo is Goth's weird sibling.
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I enjoy making art so much more now that I don't show it or try to sell it than I did back when I was doing those things.
Makes me think of my guitar instuctor (paid by my parents - not school related) back when I was a teenager, I´m still angry with: all I ever wanted was to be able to play some easy pop songs however poorly just enjoying myself singing along, but he tortured me for months with ucranian folk songs and such, making sure to let me know what an untalented bother I was to him. Later in life I once talked to a guy who said "I love playing piano, I´m no good but I love it" and I envy him, because that instuctor ruined it for me and I don´t trust music instructors to cope with someone who just wants to learn and enjoy the miracle of getting music out of an instrument without great ambition or talent.
I try new stuff. Often I am really bad at it. That's when I get as appreciation of the time and skill of those that do it well
I want to believe this, but every time I even get too close to my guitar, my dog barks at me.
Sing to your hearts content in the car! And my dogs enjoy my singing so that's all that matters!
Since cooking can classify as an art or hobby, I remember years ago on one of the early TV cooking shows, the host told the audience "You can't ruin a meal. If it doesn't turn out the way you thought it should, give it a different name"
Remember how Mom kept every fingerpaint, every house with a chimney and sun-in-the-corner drawing, every noodle art sprayed gold? Yeah. Make a thing, put it on your fridge, and smile at the memory of making that!
Art stops feeling like art when you are specifically doing it for a client.
wait a minute...striving to do well at something is not necessarily because you want to make money out of it...putting the effort to actually become better is a reward in itself...I do consider my self a professional artist, but I didn't choose this for the money or fame, but if you want to grow and develop, you need to be challenged and be a little serious...but to try sing in key and make a horse look like a horse is not for the money but for the self-satisfaction and that moment of "oohh f**k, I actually did it, and it's not horrible!!"
Oof I wish I could convince my brain of that. I love doing crafty things, but I'm not very good and my unrealistic expectations of myself make it harder. I joke about being "all heart and no talent" but when my mental health is c**p it's hard to even try.
Teachers are rarely celebrated unless they go above and beyond. It's a hard job, it's not 9-3, it's a lot of work that no one else sees. But teachers who show up every day and do their best are not getting the respect and props they deserve.
Telling people not to monetize their hobbies comes from a place of being able to afford to pay for those hobbies in the first place. I mean like you enjoy things you’re bad at, it’s just that it’s so expensive to do a lot of hobbies so the idea of it being a “capitalist lie” to want to make any of that money back is crazy privileged.
I absolutely love this one. However, just because it's not up to other peoples standards, doesn't mean it's not good. Sometimes, something simple can be far more powerful because of how real it is. I tend to go for the musical side myself. Even though some bands can't play as well as my band does (and of course, there several that are better), the message they bring across makes it so much more. Never underestimate what you think is talent. Take a look at what the artist was trying to say. Sometimes a crayon can outshine a paint brush.
Do your thing, have fun, enjoy the process. Do it for you, your well-being, and a sense of accomplishment, whatever the outcome.
I needed this post. I didn't know I needed it, but .. it's exactly what I needed. Thank you.
Sadly I can't do that, I have been trying to perfect my drawing skills, they have somewhat perfected a little, my writing I have tried so hard to make it pretty, ppl have ever complimented it, and I love to sing and sing REALLY goo(ppl tell me) and I get mad when ppl sing baldy, I've been living like this for too long.... I can't stop rn
This is true if you’re good at something, too. People always tell me I “should” be selling my clothes or art. I was a professional artist for a few years and I went to a prestigious art school, and it sucked all the joy out of it.
Honestly, I don't care if people criticized my arts or stories. I want to create a world for my characters because I want to share the joys of creative to the people who loves arts and storytelling.
Nobody said that you have to be good at art, and nobody said that you're obliged to monetize it. But if you plan to make money of it, then you'd better be good.
Art is definitely subjective. I agree that it's nearly impossible to predict the art market, but I don't think a "good" exists in art. Some days technically-intricate, hand-made, illuminated miniatures are in demand. Other days, someone may be willing to pay $87 million for a painting of a red square.
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I Love This Man More Than Certain Family Members
Damn, son, just wear a crop top and some underpants. Get those wet and you'll get some real attention.
This Is Beautiful
Human beings don’t hold a monopoly on empathy. Plenty of other animals have feelings and have demonstrated that they feel bad for other beings if they’re in trouble. For instance, a while back I wrote about an experiment on rat friendship.
As it turns out, rats help each other out if they sense that they’re distressed. However, they prefer to help rats who are most like them. Scientist Inbal Ben-Ami Bartal told Bored Panda that “rats will help others of their ingroup (cagemates and strangers of the same strain) but not the outgroup (strangers of a black-furred strain they are not familiar with).” In other words, rats are selective in who they help. However, this behavior changes the more familiar rats become with members of their outgroup.
Working People Are My People!
Always keep in mind that your employer is paying you the least amount they feel they can to keep you around(Sure, there are exceptions, but 98% are).
Art Is For Everyone
Humiliation Fetish
“The encouraging thing is that we then found that cohabitation, living with a rat from the other strain for two weeks totally changes this behavior, and now rats will help that cagemate from the other strain. Even more impressively, after living together for two weeks with one rat of the other strain, they will help strangers from the other strain as well,” Bartal said.
The scientist added that social experience is actually what determines whether or not rats help each other, not their genetic similarity. Bartal said that in one case, rats were fostered at birth with those from another strain. “Like Mowgli, they were raised with the other strain and never encountered their own kind. When they grew up, they only helped rats of the adoptive strain, not the biological strain.”
For All Relationships
With Open Arms
You Are All Right
In Bartal’s view, a lot of the discussion on animal empathy gets stuck on semantic issues. “For instance, the definition of empathy, how can we say that animals really feel empathy the same way we do. But empathy is a construct. We don’t even know what it is in humans really!” she said.
“I operate on the assumption that there is an evolutionary continuum between species, and that the basic building blocks of our responses are shared. Being sensitive to distress in others and motivated to care about their suffering is as old as the moment mother and child became connected for survival after birth.”
I Liked This One
Exactly! I almost always play easy mode, because I suck at them, but still enjoy them. Gaming is supposed to be fun, relaxing and a way to escape reality, not a second job! Unless it is your job, of course :D
Can’t Decide Whether This Belongs Here Or In Humansbeingbros
Have A Seat, Enjoy The View, Everyone Is Welcome
Pros And Cons Of GF...
Anyone Can Play Games
Liberal Arts
Gaming Is For Everyone
My dad never had any sons. He introduced his two daughters to video games and motorcycle racing. I became a lifelong gaming enthusiast, and my little sister bought a motorbike. :D
Respect To You For Doing Anything
Drink What You Like!!!
Spread The Positivity
A Novel‘S Worth Of Nerd S**t
Let People Be Happy
Wholesome Hotel
Let's Just Love Everyone
If anyone wants to continue the heartwarming goodwill, Jewish Voice for Peace is a great organization that supports Palestinian self-determination, supports peace and justice in the Middle East, and stands against anti-Jewish, anti-Muslim, and anti-Arab bigotry.
Like What You Like
Everyone Is Welcome On This Server
Does This Doormat Count?
Vegan BBQ
You're Never Too Old For Success
This Subreddit In A Nutshell. This Applies To So Many Communities
When The Old Becomes New Again
Love Is Always Valid. Assume The Best First!
this! i am truly loved for the first time in my life, and im in my early 40s. its amazing and i want to share that. If you've always had that it might seem a bit lame to post about it, but take a second to consider experiencing it for the first time
Love What You Are
No Beer Is Girly Beer
I Love My Grandma So Much. She Got Her Point Across Without Being Mean To The Family Friend
Can't Argue With Mom!
Like What You Like
You can find men or women attractive and it not be sexual at all...
There's Some Logic There
As A Metal Head, Everyone Is Welcome!
Vent’s Open Come On In
Fire
Play The Game Any Way You Want
Note: this post originally had 79 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
Lovely post! I agree with them all, and forgive me I know I'll get down voted, but I just don't feel comfortable with gender neutral toilets. For no other reason than the fact there are some real dangerous creeps in this world. It just scares me I guess.
Over 20 years ago I studied in Copenhagen and the school had gender neutral toilets. They still have them and it was absolutely no problem when I was there. What I always wonder, why do apparently a lot of people honestly think a "women only"-sign will somehow keep male rapists out of women's bathrooms? An insane amount of women and girls have already been molested or worse in "their" (public) bathroom by despicable bastards. Men and boys have been molested in their bathrooms by despicable bastards. Most people are decent folks, so don't fear average dudes in your bathroom. It also smells a wee bit of transphobia, too, especially when trans people don't "pass".
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I know this maybe the same post as before but I still want to do it. To all the people reading this: You are beautiful, you are unique, you have so much talents. You are a special protagonist in your story. This may be the end of 2021. If there's any good things happen in your life, keep moving forward because it's not the end of the story, this is a new chapter of your life. If bad things had happened to you, don't stop, keep marching, because you are in your character development story. We may have never meet face to face before, but we are friends that shaking hands and said how do you do, no matter where we are from, what color we have, if we are are part of queer or not or what religions we follow. May your day fill with rainbows
Genuine Q: is there a label for people who don't like labels? No problem with other people doing it if it works for them but I've always struggled to think of myself as anything except just a person and I don't like feeling I have to pick a box and stay in it.
I agree entirely! I remember being in school (a little before gender fluid etc was as present in the media) and going 'I like this, but don't really fit into this group' etc. I don't think you need to label yourself or others, it doesn't effect how I interact with people and why should it? I don't even find job titles something I need to know about people in my personal life.
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You know I find it funny that boredpanda takes a lot of its content from Reddit but practically everyone on Reddit hates boredpanda because if all the liberals lol
Lovely post! I agree with them all, and forgive me I know I'll get down voted, but I just don't feel comfortable with gender neutral toilets. For no other reason than the fact there are some real dangerous creeps in this world. It just scares me I guess.
Over 20 years ago I studied in Copenhagen and the school had gender neutral toilets. They still have them and it was absolutely no problem when I was there. What I always wonder, why do apparently a lot of people honestly think a "women only"-sign will somehow keep male rapists out of women's bathrooms? An insane amount of women and girls have already been molested or worse in "their" (public) bathroom by despicable bastards. Men and boys have been molested in their bathrooms by despicable bastards. Most people are decent folks, so don't fear average dudes in your bathroom. It also smells a wee bit of transphobia, too, especially when trans people don't "pass".
Load More Replies... I know this maybe the same post as before but I still want to do it. To all the people reading this: You are beautiful, you are unique, you have so much talents. You are a special protagonist in your story. This may be the end of 2021. If there's any good things happen in your life, keep moving forward because it's not the end of the story, this is a new chapter of your life. If bad things had happened to you, don't stop, keep marching, because you are in your character development story. We may have never meet face to face before, but we are friends that shaking hands and said how do you do, no matter where we are from, what color we have, if we are are part of queer or not or what religions we follow. May your day fill with rainbows
Genuine Q: is there a label for people who don't like labels? No problem with other people doing it if it works for them but I've always struggled to think of myself as anything except just a person and I don't like feeling I have to pick a box and stay in it.
I agree entirely! I remember being in school (a little before gender fluid etc was as present in the media) and going 'I like this, but don't really fit into this group' etc. I don't think you need to label yourself or others, it doesn't effect how I interact with people and why should it? I don't even find job titles something I need to know about people in my personal life.
Load More Replies... You know I find it funny that boredpanda takes a lot of its content from Reddit but practically everyone on Reddit hates boredpanda because if all the liberals lol
