You don't need to shower people with expensive gifts to show that you care about them. If it's genuine, even a small act of kindness can go a long way. Like texting a friend just to see how they are doing. Or holding the elevator doors open for your neighbor. It can be that simple.
To learn more ways to make people smile, Redditor u/Self_World_Future asked others: "What is an underrated thoughtful gesture?" And they got plenty of answers. As of today, their post has 1,200 comments. Here are the most upvoted ones.
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Asking someone to finish their story if they get cut off in a group. Nothing feels worse than feeling like nobody cares what you have to say, and nothing feels better than someone sticking up for you.
i am usually the person who's cut off in a group and it feels so nice when someone asks to hear you out. It's truly the little gestures that mean the most 🤗
If you are driving someone home. At night, wait for them to get to the door, unlock and enter before you leave.
Do this anytime -- not just at night. It's respectful to make sure the person didn't forget their phone or keys in your car. Make sure they get in okay before driving off.
"What I've learned from re-reading [the comments under my post] is how small these meaningful gestures people listed actually were," u/Self_World_Future told Bored Panda. "Some of the top replies were things like saying 'thank you' or simply asking a friend how they're doing."
The Redditor thinks that being kind may have become less of a priority for us. "However, I believe if people were reminded of the power simple gestures have, they would make more of an effort," they added.
"Since about a year of things like online schooling and working from home, I hope people don't forget to rekindle relationships that may have suffered from the restrictions of the pandemic."
If you’re in a group walking and someone’s falling behind (carrying something, have to tie their shoe, just a slower walker/has shorter legs etc.), at least one person waiting for them to catch up. Doesn’t have to be everyone, but just one person, maybe two, waiting for them to finish what they’re doing or to catch up a bit. Both my best friend and my S/O have done this for me at varying points in our relationships, and every time they do it it makes me want to cry bc it shows they care and don’t want me to feel left out even though I’ve got these short little fuckin corgi legs and they’re all walking at the speed of sound.
Details matter. Especially for couples. According to Professor Aaron Ben-Zeév, who is considered one of the world's leading experts in the study of emotions, we should invest in the small routines, not the grand gestures. "We've heard it before but it's true: it's the little things that matter," Ben-Zeév wrote in Psychology Today.
"In any genuine long-term loving relationship, we (correctly) give greater romantic weight to the small gestures that show us evidence of love beyond the brief time spent in sex. There are those who specialize in one-off grand romantic gestures: giving diamonds, whisking their lover abroad, or taking them for lavish dinners at fancy restaurants. However, those actions mainly express a momentary mood and not enduring, profound love."
Pedestrians who give a little nod or a wave to front cars that stopped for them.
Really listening when people speak and not just waiting for your turn to talk.
Remembering little things. The other day I was talking to a friend and told him I just found out my sister is pregnant and he said “oh, the one who’s married to Brad?”. It was just nice that he makes a point to remember details that don’t necessarily mean anything to him.
You see, it is much easier to fake one-off actions than it is to imitate continuous behavior, expressed every day through small gestures. "We don't experience enduring love in one night of great sex, but rather in consistent loving behavior. Love is not one big gesture; it is rather a combination of million little things expressed in pleasant and kind daily actions," Ben-Zeév explained.
But the professor highlighted that "the importance of continuous small deeds in romantic relationships does not eliminate the importance of one-off big and small romantic gestures, such as going abroad together, the wedding of a firstborn child, or a shared meal in a romantic setting."
The professor said that at the end of the day, profound love, like a happy life, combines the enduring continuum of the little things with the bigger, more meaningful things — the latter spices up romantic relationships and life, but it is not the main course.
Visiting someone with alzheimers. You will leave with a broken heart and in 20 minutes they won't remember that you were there. But during your visit they will hopefully feel loved or at least know someone cares.
I did work experience at an aged care facility where I visited patients and helped organise activities for them. There was one patient I visited who had dementia. She started bawling her eyes out that none of her family came to visit her. After I helped console her, I left the room and started bawling myself coz I felt so sorry for her. The director saw me and asked what was wrong and I explained. Well it turned out her family visited her that morning and visits a few times a week. She just couldn't remember. It's all so heartbreaking.
It is Foxxy. My grandmother had it and my mum has is now. Sad.
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I remember my granny on multiple visits, she would introduce me to her carers as her nephew, was waiting for her husband (deceased) to come home from work and her kids to come home from school(both in their 50's) and my mum (deceased) to come back from college so she could cook tea. You just have to roll with it.
My mother suffered from this horrible disease. Just a bit of advice, visit with them first thing in the morning. They are refreshed from hopefully a restful night and you have a better chance of their memory being stronger. Their cognition slowly depletes throughout the day. It's called 'sundowning'.
People with Alzheimer's live in their own world. They are talking, visiting and having a "good" time. I had a friend with Alzheimer's and she was living forty years in the past. When they took her to have lunch, they would feed her and she would be talking to people she had known at the officers' club, she would carry on conversations, she was listening to them, they live where they remember good things. Yes YOU are devastated, but they aren't. Because they don't "know" that they have Alzheimer's. Yes, occasionally they "connect" with you and the present, but for the most part, they are happy in the time they remember. Yes, sometimes they remember and are devastated because then they remember they have Alzheimer's but generally the burden of sorrow is on the family.
My Nan had Alzheimer’s. It’s a horrible disease and watching the woman who helped raise me slowly forget herself and her family was absolute torture. I don’t get along with my mother but you have to admire someone who would visit her Mum every week and watch that person slowly decline. I wish I’d been able to see my Nan more often but I’m in a different state and airfares cost a fortune :(
We kept a notebook at my grandmother's bedside and whenever we visited, we'd write a note with the date and time and something about what we talked to her about or what the dr. said. When the next person visited, she'd often complain that she hadn't seen anyone for a long time and that no one ever visited her. In reality, someone visited her almost daily. We'd check the notebook and were able to remind her that she'd seen X the day before and remind her what they'd spoken about. That made her feel better, even if she didn't actually remember the visit.
It’s heartbreaking to explain to my grandpa that his wife (the love of his life) has passed away. He keeps asking about her all the time…
Tell him she loves him and is fine and she will always be with him. We did that for our very elderly friend who had Alzheimer's. She would ask about Jim [her husband who had died three years earlier] and we would tell her that he was fine but he had been ordered to DC. And she would smile and say "good, we will go out to supper when he gets back." And then she would forget all about it. The reason your grandfather keeps asking about his wife is because he doesn't remember she is dead. And EVERY TIME you tell him that she has died, it is like hearing it for the first time. You are not doing him any favors. You are "killing" her every time you tell him.
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A friend's dad had Alzheimer's and he had a long period that she described as "he doesn't know exactly who we are anymore but he knows we belong to him and that makes him happy."
This makes me want to cry. It's the simplest things that mean so much.
Both my grandmas had alzheimer. Everytime I was in the neighbourhood I would visit them (I live 3 hours away). With one grandma you couldn't make contact anymore, but you could see how happy she was to see me and in particular my son. My other grandma loved to see my son also. Most people with alzheimer love childeren.
Even if they don’t consciously recall your visit, you give them happy moments and positive feelings. The body stores those as implicit memories. They may not recall that you were there but they will keep what they felt. You have to focus on sharing moments. It is truly living in the moment.
This should be a norm, and in my opinion should not be considered anything special. My grandpa died of Alzheimer's. Before he passed, I visited him whenever I could. (He passed when I was 14.) You should visit loved ones regardless of whether or not their sick. At their core, they're still the same person.
I have a beloved relative with dementia. she's my simcha buddy. whenever it's a holiday we sit together and talk. she doesn't remember who i am, but she remembers my presence.
Might help to tell them I am sorry your family isn't here but I can try to come by and we can talk for a bit in a little while.aybe tell them you aren't able to see you family either and it would make you feel better to have somebody to see. Of course it probably would be forgotten quickly as well but in that moment it may help.
My mom used to go visit people at a nursing home, and there was one woman there who didn’t have Alzheimer’s, but a stroke that caused severe memory loss. Her family never visited her, and it was only ever my mom and another lady who would see her (neither had connections to this woman or her family). When she had another stroke the doctor basically regarded my mom and the lady as family and let them see her before she passed. The actual family never did visit, but sent my mom and the lady a gift card as thanks for everything. My mom was so appalled by the entire situation that she made me promise that if something like that ever happened to her that I would make sure to visit and not leave her alone.
My step-dad drove 5 hours to visit his mother who was in a care home near his sister. He drove there, spent 4-5 hours with her. Then she leaned over and said "I'd better not take up any more of your time now young man, I'm expecting my son any minute now". Crushed.
Every time there's a new person at work, I recall what it was like being the new guy and go out my way to make them feel comfortable and let them know that I'll answer any questions judgement free.
Same as school. When I was in secondary school, I used to feel bad for the new kids sitting alone but was not courageous enough to go over and say something. I'm better now.
Letting someone with minimal items cut in front of you at the grocery checkout.
When a car stops to let me cross the street, thereby forcing the other oncoming car to also recognize that I need to cross.
There is a busy road I have to cross daily and I'm so grateful every single time that the cars stop for me to cross. It's just a simple gesture of feeling recognized.
I always find this odd. In the UK the pedestrian has right of way. It's the law for a vehicle to stop.
Telling someone they got a booger just hanging for its dear life or their fly is open. Embarrassing but better than walking around with it like it's in vogue.
I have a question to all the ladies. If you leaked period blood onto your pants/skirt etc. Would you want someone to say something, even if it's a stranger? EDIT: So here's a scenario. My mum and I were at some busy markets. I had just left the toilets and when we were walking a lady in front had blood on the back of her skirt. My mum told me not to say anything coz she left the toilet just before I did and probably noticed it then and would probably be embarrassed if I said something. I dunno, it's a tricky one.
Idk if this really counts but when you accidentally make eye contact with a stranger and both of y'all smile at each other.
When someone you're hanging out with throws away your trash or takes your dishes when you're done eating. Not that I expect that all the time, but I find it sweet when it happens. Like if you're sitting down at a fast food restaurant and your friend grabs your trash and throws it away with theirs.
Texting a friend just to see how they are doing. It’s always nice to have someone reach out vs feeling like you are the person reaching out all the time.
Yes, friendship is a two way street. I have given up "friends" coz it was only me that reached out. You certainly find out who are worthy of your time and friendship.
Getting my oil changed yesterday and sitting in the waiting room and girl 30 years younger than me is getting a soda from the machine next to me... She looks over and asks me if I'd like a soda as well... I was a little surprised but politely said no and thank you... I thought it was an exceptionally kind gesture...
Letting people off the subway before you rush in.
That should be common sense really and not just trains but also buses, trams etc.
Giving a compliment (even something simple) to the food someone cooked for you. Odds are cooking is an extension of the person's personality and it'll mean a lot!
This! Don't fall into a pattern of feeling entitled when someone cooks for you. It's a chore and it takes work. Find at least one thing to compliment at every meal.
Take candid pictures of a mother with her children.
Or frankly ANYONE with their children..or grandchildren..or friends.. doing something other than posing in front of a fireplace at Christmas. You really have no idea how much I treasure the rare glimpses of me interacting with my kids when smiles aren't forced. Take them, send them, they want them. You don't have to ask..just.. do it. (So long as you, ya know.. know them and what not).
When someone holds the elevator doors open when you're just a few seconds away.
I'm really glad you asked because earlier one of my friends who I hadn't talked to in a while expressed that they felt really comfortable with me, and came out as possibly trans (they are still figuring out exactly what their identity is, and had only told one person besides me) and told me how much they valued me as a friend. I actually came very close to crying because I was so moved by it. Tell your friends what they mean to you, it is incredibly powerful.
My friends and I are always telling each other how much we mean to one another. And we also say "love you" at the end of phone calls/messages.
Just a thank you wave or flash from a driver who you let go in front of you or before you. Just a small thing that makes me feel good.
Asking if a person got home okay.
Carrying groceries, bags or heavy items for an older person or family member.
I try to have water bottles or soda every time I have workmen over to my house or furniture/appliance delivery guys. They work hard and I'm usually pretty late into their delivery day so I figure a little treat is appreciated (on top of a tip . . . I'm not a monster)
I don't know if this counts, but if I ever see a car parked at an expired meter, and if I have a spare coin, I throw it in.
It counts because that person could be running late and not having a good day only to find the meter that was definitely supposed to run out, hasn't. It breaks the bad luck streak and makes their day so much better
Holding the door open for someone.
Tricky in these times. Can't recall the times I held the door for someone and got an ear full about how they were perfectly capable of opening the door themselves. At least that was the message without all the swearwords and cursing.
Someone deliberately taking their time to get on a bus you're running for.
Or noticing you and telling the driver so they can wait a couple of seconds. I'm so grateful when people do this, as I'm always late.
Saying “Wait, I don’t get what you mean. Can you repeat that?”
It does NOT signify to the other person that you weren’t listening. In fact, it actually signifies that you care enough about understanding that you’ll listen twice.
Non expensive flowers for occasions. I'm talking 10$ daisy arrangement for your coworkers last day, or just because to a friend, I always bring wine and flowers as a host/hostess gift. There are so many cool flowers (not just roses!!)
And it can be for a male or female. The kings in your life deserve flowers as much as grandma. Tell him those sunflowers reminded you of his smile, tell bertha from accounting you appreciate the prompt Thursday afternoon checks. Tell Gamgam she's your favorite and leave a little sunshine in your wake.
Just fyi, if they have pets, particularly animals like cats, make sure the flowers aren't toxic. Lilies are deadly.
Remembering someone's name goes a long way.
When someone lets you into a lane. Thanks for not being a jerk!!
For me, this is situational. If somebody races down the median ahead of dozens of patient drivers then tries to force their way in at the last moment before they run out of room, I am less inclined to be kind. Yes, that's a petty reaction, but that's how it is.
Engaged listening without interrupting.
That's one of the things that got lost. Everyone is talking and nobody is listening.
Taking your bag of the seat on the bus/train if others are looking for a place to sit.
In my country it's not considered polite, it's considered avoiding being called a selfish prick or cow.
Buy someone their favorite food item. My mom will specifically buy me new pears. It’s awesome because you see they like something, you remember they like something, and you put effort into getting them that something. For two-three bucks you can make a very thoughtful gesture.
I bring my partner a chocolate bar or a snack called pocky. They love the surprise :)
After I hang out with my girlfriend, she'll often text me something like "Thanks for having me over today :)" and it'll make me feel really good because it's a reminder that we're doing this because we like being together and not just because it's convenient or routine or whatever.
Before he moved in, my SO would send me thank you for cooking text or thanks for watching my show with me or whatever. So sweet.
Giving a compliment. E.g. you look nice today.
Note: this post originally had 65 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
In summary, all the ways we can be decent, thoughtful and caring humans in this world!
I'm surprised with most of these because they are basic good manners. Are good manners underrated and therefore seldomly used?
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One is if you invite a person to an even where they don’t know the people to take care of them. Like if my partner comes to my Xmas family party I will spend most of the time near him or at least making sure that he is comfortable and not alone in the table in silence.
True! A friend invited me for a dinner party, I said I'd come for dessert and coffee. When I arrived people spontaneanously changed their seats so I could sit next to the people I already knew and didn't feel left out. They were so kind! Now I always look forward to meet them and we keep tabs on each other on social media.
Load More Replies... I always try to be patient with people, for instance elderly when they're at the register in a supermarket or something. I also try to be aware of people who may need some assistance or help with something.
Politeness, citizenship... thousand of problems would be solved in less than a finger snap.
It's important to let your loved ones know that they're loved. Sometimes they "need to hear it" and you can't always know when. I always say "I love you both" when I end a phone call with my son and his girlfriend is listening... because I do love her. I also always hug them both to say hello and goodbye, when we meet.
It makes me sad that people just don't do all of these already. We all used to do this. What happened?? This is why I'm happier alone. This list should be something we all do already.
How many of these are free? They are simple little things that keep us connected to other humans. I’m a big advocate for paying it forward. It can be a smile as you cross paths with the senior citizen on the way to the shops, a thank you or recognition of someone who has been selfless. That smile might make someone’s day just a shade brighter, why wouldn’t you share a smile or a ‘good morning’? It’s free, spread a bit of love around. Be more kind, it’s a good feeling.
As long as you’re not an aśs who inconveniences everyone, I don’t care about these. I don’t care about nice gestures that take up time. Just stay out of the way and let me work.
Not all of these take time, some are practical: listening to someone who got interrupted (maybe they had a valid point but were drowned by someone with a louder personality), letting people out of public transports and then going in (it's both pratical and more efficient).
Load More Replies... Look someone square in the eye when saying "Thank You". Better if you actually say what it is your are thanking them for. "Thank You" is one on the most used phrases, but it is said largely out of habit and not sincerity. See for yourself. Watch how people react when you take the time to say "Thank You" with sincerity. You literally will make their day, every time.
Another person and I were waiting to turn into a drive thru from opposite directions. I got there first and technically he was coming from the 'wrong' direction but so what. I noted that several people lined up behind me and I doubted this guy would get his turn to get in the line so I waved him thru. No biggie. When I got to the window to pay he'd paid for my order. Made me smile. A few weeks later I accidentally cut someone off turning into that same drive thru. I paid for their order to apologize.
In summary, all the ways we can be decent, thoughtful and caring humans in this world!
I'm surprised with most of these because they are basic good manners. Are good manners underrated and therefore seldomly used?
Load More Replies... One is if you invite a person to an even where they don’t know the people to take care of them. Like if my partner comes to my Xmas family party I will spend most of the time near him or at least making sure that he is comfortable and not alone in the table in silence.
True! A friend invited me for a dinner party, I said I'd come for dessert and coffee. When I arrived people spontaneanously changed their seats so I could sit next to the people I already knew and didn't feel left out. They were so kind! Now I always look forward to meet them and we keep tabs on each other on social media.
Load More Replies... I always try to be patient with people, for instance elderly when they're at the register in a supermarket or something. I also try to be aware of people who may need some assistance or help with something.
Politeness, citizenship... thousand of problems would be solved in less than a finger snap.
It's important to let your loved ones know that they're loved. Sometimes they "need to hear it" and you can't always know when. I always say "I love you both" when I end a phone call with my son and his girlfriend is listening... because I do love her. I also always hug them both to say hello and goodbye, when we meet.
It makes me sad that people just don't do all of these already. We all used to do this. What happened?? This is why I'm happier alone. This list should be something we all do already.
How many of these are free? They are simple little things that keep us connected to other humans. I’m a big advocate for paying it forward. It can be a smile as you cross paths with the senior citizen on the way to the shops, a thank you or recognition of someone who has been selfless. That smile might make someone’s day just a shade brighter, why wouldn’t you share a smile or a ‘good morning’? It’s free, spread a bit of love around. Be more kind, it’s a good feeling.
As long as you’re not an aśs who inconveniences everyone, I don’t care about these. I don’t care about nice gestures that take up time. Just stay out of the way and let me work.
Not all of these take time, some are practical: listening to someone who got interrupted (maybe they had a valid point but were drowned by someone with a louder personality), letting people out of public transports and then going in (it's both pratical and more efficient).
Load More Replies... Look someone square in the eye when saying "Thank You". Better if you actually say what it is your are thanking them for. "Thank You" is one on the most used phrases, but it is said largely out of habit and not sincerity. See for yourself. Watch how people react when you take the time to say "Thank You" with sincerity. You literally will make their day, every time.
Another person and I were waiting to turn into a drive thru from opposite directions. I got there first and technically he was coming from the 'wrong' direction but so what. I noted that several people lined up behind me and I doubted this guy would get his turn to get in the line so I waved him thru. No biggie. When I got to the window to pay he'd paid for my order. Made me smile. A few weeks later I accidentally cut someone off turning into that same drive thru. I paid for their order to apologize.
