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If age is just a number, then a prison cell is just a room. When they say that hangovers get worse after your mid-twenties, they're not lying. Because, heck, they do, and a few bevvies can take a day to recover and two pills of Ibuprofen to get that clapping monkey with cymbals out of one's head.

Do you know what is even less fun? Turning 30. By 30, you're expected to have a house, two children and to have seen the Taj Mahal. Oh, and about 50 grand in your savings account. I know you've come here to read jokes about turning 30, but turning 30 is a joke in itself.

Okay, okay, it's not THAT bad. Well, perhaps your knees and back don't feel like they were when you were 18, but yakno, it's bearable. So whether you're looking for turning 30 jokes, funny birthday puns for a friend who's turning 30 soon, or just want to laugh at yourself, you've come to the right place.

Below, we've compiled a lengthy list of 30th birthday jokes, jokes about getting old(er), and just witty adult jokes. Take a look at the funny jokes we have gathered, and let us know if any made you crack a smile! And show off those pearly whites more often while you still have them *winking face*.

P.S. if you're looking for funny birthday wishes, we got you covered!

#1

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "I’m 30, but I still feel like I’m 20 until I hang out with 20-year-olds. Then I’m like, no, never mind, I’m 30."

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krisdargan avatar
Who Panda 420
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was younger I always hang out with the older crowd. Now that I'm a little older I find that I hang with the younger crowd.

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#2

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 " When someone says ‘10 years ago,’ I think about the 90s, not the 2013."

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#3

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Welcome to 30! From now on, if you get pregnant, people will assume you did it on purpose."

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wendillon avatar
Monday
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And yet when an acquaintance announces their pregnancy I still wonder whether to say "congratulations!" or "oh s**t".

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#4

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "As long you don't have kids your 30's are like your 20s but with money."

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#5

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 One day she noticed a gray hair in her bangs. She turned to her husband, pointed to her forehead, and said, 'Have you seen this?' 'What? You mean the wrinkles?'”

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#7

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Welcome to 30! The age when you should know better, but really don’t!"

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#8

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."

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#9

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Welcome to your 30! Ibuprofen is an acceptable breakfast."

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#10

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Me in my 20s: Secretaly hates everyone.
 
 Me in my 30s: Publicly hates everyone."

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Crystal Fisher
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope not true I'm 21 and publicly hate everyone.. haha have since I was 18 😂😂

#11

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "I finally reached the perfect age. Somewhere between 29 years and none of your business!"

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Mark Serbian, PK&RG,W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I clearly remember my mother's 29th 29th birthday. That's when she quit giving 29 as her age...

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#12

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "I'm oficially 'You look good for your age' years old."

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krisdargan avatar
Who Panda 420
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep I hear this all the time hanging out with people younger than me. But at least I always get you look younger.

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#13

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "The chanting of 'Shots!' sounds more threatening than exciting."

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#14

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "How can you say we are old after 30? We just became women! Like anyone took us seriously in our 20s…"

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sturmwesen
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To me it's more like "I am 35 and still want to ask an adult for advice."

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#15

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "The clothes you wore as a teenager are now vintage. Hope you rock that vintage style."

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#16

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Turning 30? Age is just a number!"
 
" False: Age is a word." – Dwight Schrute

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#17

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Your 30s – where if you don’t get 8 hours of sleep one night you’ll pay for it for a week."

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#18

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "You’ll never be trusted by a teenager again. You’re officially too old to trust."

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#19

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "It's 8:30 p.m. and you want to start a movie this late?"

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Edurne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm from Spain, 8.30 is full afternoon for us. we eat dinner at around 9.30/10pm and movies don't start until 10.30.. I often go to the UK and seeing them having dinner at 6, while I eat my mid afternoon snack, and changing into their pj's at 7 is always a shock to me. 11 years going at least twice a year, and I still can't get used to that. (don't get me wrong I absolutely love Britain and the brits, but our clocks will never be read the same 😅)

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#20

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Don’t worry about being 30. You’ll get over it within a decade."

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#21

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Your life might finally be together, but your body is falling apart."

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Ele V
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You guys need to chill... Your body does not definitely fall apart when you're in your 30's.. Stop acting like 30's is old..

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#23

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Welcome to the age your childhood self couldn’t even fathom."

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#24

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "When you turn 21 you finally experience the freedom of full throttle. If you make it to 30, it means you’ve discovered there’s a brake pedal too."

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Doge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By 40 you discover you have been driving a drivers-ed car and apparently there is someone else slamming on the passenger-side brake. Arsehole

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#26

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "I'm not 30. I'm only $29.95 plus tax."

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smugdruggler
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol nicely put. Problem is, the tax ends up being more than the price.

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#27

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "Congratulations on reaching Level Thirty! You might want to save your progress - it gets waaaay harder from here."

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#28

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "When you turn 30, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents."

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#29

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "It's true — your body will start hurting in places you didn't know possible."

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#30

30 Spot-On Jokes Explaining What It’s Like To Turn 30 "I was thirty-two when I started cooking. Up until then, I just ate."

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Anna
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah, gotta know how to cook, always been about good for to fuel my body.

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