This Person Confesses To Doing Horrible Things In The Past And Explains Why Nobody Should Judge Him For It
All of us have said or done something that we regret. However, in this day and age, when access to the internet and social media is available at the tip of the finger, almost every word and picture is archived, thus making it hard for us to escape our past. No wonder there’s a saying that if something is once put on the internet, it’s out there forever. And while it has its pros with cataloging our greatest moments, the accumulation of data is a double-edged sword. Especially, when the information is available to other people. This ease-of-access made it incredibly effortless for the ‘purity culture’ to grow and fester, with people ‘pulling receipts’ at every corner of the internet. While the underlying message of this culture had positive tones to make people responsible for their words and actions, it quickly rolled towards the ‘witch hunt’ zone. Tom, from Houston, pointed out how problematic this ‘purity culture’ is and how it’s actually doing more bad than good, and people quickly chimed in with their own opinions. “The big thing is that a lot of people fail to understand that people can change, and a lot of people are really eager to drag others down and will use anything & everything they can to do so” Tom told Bored Panda. “They believe that being wrong is the same as being bad, and that being bad is a permanent state, so if they’re not bad then they can’t be wrong,” he added. Scroll down below to read what everyone had to say and tell us what’s your stance on this issue.
More info: Tumblr
Lately, it’s been very common to dig through a person’s past, especially social media, to find something problematic they’ve said or done
Image credits: Riala
However, one Tumblr user started a debate, saying that this “purity culture” is problematic itself and people joined in
Image credits: Marco Verch
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To those of you who have changed for the better; I'm proud of you. You have realized your mistakes and grown as a person. Yes, none of us can deny what sorts of things we may have used to say and think; but honestly, if someone has changed we should be congratulating them for changing, not hanging for them for past beliefs.
There are two old sayings that cover this very well. One is very, very old. The other not so much, but it is older than me. The sayings are not related, but do correlate very well in regards to the rise of "purity culture". The first is "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone." The second is "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." In the age of social media, everyone lives in a glass house. Whether they know it or not.
Woman got kicked out big brother in the u.k for tweets Inc ones she wrote at age 15. She was a child who now has been vilified. She was a child.
A member of my family throws fights we had as children in my face. I did instigate them but I was miserably unhappy because my father was horrible to me but clearly adored her. She learned how to treat me from him. She is the most toxic person I have ever had the misfortune to meet and I wish I could get her out of my life but in order to see my brothers I have to endure her.
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Instead of calling someone out for what they did then, or what they're doing now, how about we help them do whatever it was that helped others evolve. So I ask--for those who have changed: what helped you change? How do we help others?
No one is perfect. Everyone has stuff in their past that they're not very proud of. That being said, stop judging people. You don't know what they've been through, what battles they're fighting every day. It's too easy to be negative and mean.
Here in Finland one dude become very popular because he was doing amazing charity work with poor and disabled children. He had to stop doing it because some people found his many years old online posts where he said rude things about disabled people. Many people were happy that 'the truth' about him was revealed and he had to quit his charity work. And many people were sad because he really was a different person now than many years earlier, they were ready to forgive and forget his old mistakes and accept his charity work. Because of him many poor children got Christmas presents but this year those children probably do not get any presents.
He could also have been doing the charity work to make up for the things he had said about disabled people in the past. It would be a good way of putting it right, so to speak. How can people move forward and improve when the opportunities to do so are denied to them? Those poor kiddies too. No-one wins in situations like that.
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Well done for the change and all the good things now. But your post works both way. Good people change into bad ones. And in this times- people hold onto the bad bit, past, present or tomorrow one. It's 'easier' for people to criticize (cos they can) rather than encourage for good things.
I'm less familiar with "purity culture" per se I guess because I don't do social networks much, do not follow any celebrities or anything, but there sure does seem to be a lot of "witch hunting" even here on Bored Panda. When white armor-clad righteous people jump down the throats of people they know nothing about except for a few short lines/video in someone's post and then sometimes that ignorant backlash gets so loud it has IRL consequences - people end up losing their jobs, possibly becoming outcasts, etc. Internet is somehow both a wonderful and a terrible thing - on one hand, people can call injustice when they see it and change unfair things that otherwise would've gone unnoticed. On another hand...people can call injustice when they see it and ruin other people's lives without even knowing these people's backstory:/
It's a bit scary tbh, it's like we're living in this op high-tech, information-filled world but we act more like middle-age peasants doing the witch hunting all over again - "oh some random said they did a racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/whatever thing, BURN THEM WITH FIRE RIGHT NOW!!!11!!"
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"Purity culture" makes my a*s tired. A bunch of f*****g hypocrites. Unless your past is spotless (and whose is?), you'd better be careful about dredging up someone else's. Karma bites hard.
If your not willing to confess, and perhaps even reveal your past, like a reformed addict who becomes a crusader, perhaps you have a bit more growing to do.
I’m young. Will be for a short while. But I’ve changed so much in the past years. I remember arguing, and being on the horrible, vicious side. The side that was prejudiced. God (or fate, whichever you like to think of or believe) has a true sense of irony. In the past four years, my ideas and beliefs have changed SO MUCH. I used to be homophobic because of my religion. Now, I have learned and gone on my own journey as one who is part of the LGBT+ community, and I defend people both out of personal belief and religion. I try to comfort people, and teach people to be accepting. I know for a fact that I have changed. So, so much. My entire world has changed, and I’ve become a better person. (I feel that this has taken many directions, which I apologize for.)
Oh Jesus, people who equate their poor behavior with being "right-winged" play right into the hands of the whole political moral high-road that leads to this purity bs. Left-wing people can be PLENTY hateful and don't own morality.
Or, as the bible says, "let he who is without sin cast the first stone...". Not a bad thought to live by. Think before you act, if what you just wrote is going to cause pain, or shame you in five years, then hit the delete button. If you can apologize for what happened and have grown, good for you. And just remember that the next time you see someone condemned for what they did years ago, especially if they've changed. I always think I could never run for public off, some of the stuff that could be dragged up. Makes me hide my face now, and I've changed!
When I was young and stupid, my love didn't leave to be a rock and roll star. My 'love" was a fictional character (I forgot who exactly?) and I would go FULL PSYCHO on anyone who loved her as I did. I mean, I would send just endless streams of swearing, caps lock, and death threats. I think I made someone kill themselves, that or they just got a new account and said that. (Not too believable because who would kill themselves over a raging 11-year-old with nothing else to do?) I forgot about that website for a while. Every time my account got banned, I would make a new one. I kept f*****g GOING. YOU COULDN'T STOP MY S**T. Years passed. I grew up and changed for the better. I don't even think she's hot anymore. I deleted all my posts except for a couple. I feel so f*****g bad for all my targets and I just wanna go have tea and cookies in the park with them now. Like, it's killing me. I feel like Satan. And yet people still give me s**t for what I did when I was 11.
The s**t I did when I was 11 years old. I'm glad internet was not yet a thing then... ;)
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I'm not sure what his point is. If you put it out there, regardless of when it was, you should own it. Some people will dig about your past and think "once a sinner always a sinner" but that then shows their character. As long as you know you have changed, and that change is for the better and shines through, then most will see that. Some do stick to the past, and they might require a little more evidence of your change, and some will think 'a leopard can't change its spots." You still wrote it, for whatever reason, and you felt it was very important to share - so much so you put it on the internet rather than opting to post nicer things - the past you, is what made you!!!
The problem is it's not just about you, your social life and career is affected by those who raise their voices to put you down based on your past self. It takes more than an apology to fix all that. Also because so many people won't take the apology, but prefer to think it's all excuses. This is not about what others think vs. being yourself, it's about your life within society.
Load More Replies...
If you are putting your thoughts out there, you will have to take responsibility for them. So you can change, but by making your thoughts public, you are inviting responses. Everyone wants to express themselves but no one wants to be judged.
This is a commentary on Tumblr's purity culture. It is nothing to do with taking responsibility for what you say, but a criticism of people who look at those that do and say that it doesn't matter what you now do, wht you were before has tainted you forever. You spoke to someone five years ago who is now considered 'problematic'? Be prepared to be doxxed and your workplace harassed. You drew fanart of a character whose skin isn't quite the right shade? Be prepared for a harassment campaign where someone finds out your dad said something racist before you were even born and you'll get swatted/police told that you're diddling kids. Those have all happened, and people have gotten killed over it.
Load More Replies...
I get this concept when related to kids and adolescents, but not to adults. If you have behaved abominably as an adult, while it's great that you've changed, you don't get to write off the hurt and the damage and the problems that you have caused for others. Just because you are doing better, doesn't wipe the slate clean. We have all done horrible things. We all have to live with the consequences of our choices and our actions. You have to forgive yourself eventually, but you don't get to say that everyone else has to ignore your past, just because you've been able to move on from it.
Yep, I hate it when people call you out on old actions. Shut up, wanker. The fact that they have to drag up from the past means they are the worse person and can not fault you now
Leopards cannot change their spots, but people can change their opinions and attitudes. I used to lean to the right - then my eyes opened to this thing called Reality.
That's the big problem with internet: how can we know someone changed? We can't for the great majority... We only have what's (sometimes permanently) left there. So what can we do? Well, for one, we can just not dig in the past of someone. Or, more simply, we can refrain from posting stupid stuff online. But with social medias, it appears that most can't resist to the temptation... But it is also true that stuff posted by teenagers should not be considered at all, because the teenage years has always been about crossing lines.
You weren't right-wing. You were a hateful, ignorant little troll -- like most adolescents. And every grown-up troll who joins Antifa, or votes for a Socialist. lol
And I see you're *still* a hateful, ignorant little troll...
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No worries. I wouldn't want to work for you anyway.
Load More Replies... To those of you who have changed for the better; I'm proud of you. You have realized your mistakes and grown as a person. Yes, none of us can deny what sorts of things we may have used to say and think; but honestly, if someone has changed we should be congratulating them for changing, not hanging for them for past beliefs.
There are two old sayings that cover this very well. One is very, very old. The other not so much, but it is older than me. The sayings are not related, but do correlate very well in regards to the rise of "purity culture". The first is "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone." The second is "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." In the age of social media, everyone lives in a glass house. Whether they know it or not.
Woman got kicked out big brother in the u.k for tweets Inc ones she wrote at age 15. She was a child who now has been vilified. She was a child.
A member of my family throws fights we had as children in my face. I did instigate them but I was miserably unhappy because my father was horrible to me but clearly adored her. She learned how to treat me from him. She is the most toxic person I have ever had the misfortune to meet and I wish I could get her out of my life but in order to see my brothers I have to endure her.
Load More Replies... Instead of calling someone out for what they did then, or what they're doing now, how about we help them do whatever it was that helped others evolve. So I ask--for those who have changed: what helped you change? How do we help others?
No one is perfect. Everyone has stuff in their past that they're not very proud of. That being said, stop judging people. You don't know what they've been through, what battles they're fighting every day. It's too easy to be negative and mean.
Here in Finland one dude become very popular because he was doing amazing charity work with poor and disabled children. He had to stop doing it because some people found his many years old online posts where he said rude things about disabled people. Many people were happy that 'the truth' about him was revealed and he had to quit his charity work. And many people were sad because he really was a different person now than many years earlier, they were ready to forgive and forget his old mistakes and accept his charity work. Because of him many poor children got Christmas presents but this year those children probably do not get any presents.
He could also have been doing the charity work to make up for the things he had said about disabled people in the past. It would be a good way of putting it right, so to speak. How can people move forward and improve when the opportunities to do so are denied to them? Those poor kiddies too. No-one wins in situations like that.
Load More Replies... Well done for the change and all the good things now. But your post works both way. Good people change into bad ones. And in this times- people hold onto the bad bit, past, present or tomorrow one. It's 'easier' for people to criticize (cos they can) rather than encourage for good things.
I'm less familiar with "purity culture" per se I guess because I don't do social networks much, do not follow any celebrities or anything, but there sure does seem to be a lot of "witch hunting" even here on Bored Panda. When white armor-clad righteous people jump down the throats of people they know nothing about except for a few short lines/video in someone's post and then sometimes that ignorant backlash gets so loud it has IRL consequences - people end up losing their jobs, possibly becoming outcasts, etc. Internet is somehow both a wonderful and a terrible thing - on one hand, people can call injustice when they see it and change unfair things that otherwise would've gone unnoticed. On another hand...people can call injustice when they see it and ruin other people's lives without even knowing these people's backstory:/
It's a bit scary tbh, it's like we're living in this op high-tech, information-filled world but we act more like middle-age peasants doing the witch hunting all over again - "oh some random said they did a racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/whatever thing, BURN THEM WITH FIRE RIGHT NOW!!!11!!"
Load More Replies... "Purity culture" makes my a*s tired. A bunch of f*****g hypocrites. Unless your past is spotless (and whose is?), you'd better be careful about dredging up someone else's. Karma bites hard.
If your not willing to confess, and perhaps even reveal your past, like a reformed addict who becomes a crusader, perhaps you have a bit more growing to do.
I’m young. Will be for a short while. But I’ve changed so much in the past years. I remember arguing, and being on the horrible, vicious side. The side that was prejudiced. God (or fate, whichever you like to think of or believe) has a true sense of irony. In the past four years, my ideas and beliefs have changed SO MUCH. I used to be homophobic because of my religion. Now, I have learned and gone on my own journey as one who is part of the LGBT+ community, and I defend people both out of personal belief and religion. I try to comfort people, and teach people to be accepting. I know for a fact that I have changed. So, so much. My entire world has changed, and I’ve become a better person. (I feel that this has taken many directions, which I apologize for.)
Oh Jesus, people who equate their poor behavior with being "right-winged" play right into the hands of the whole political moral high-road that leads to this purity bs. Left-wing people can be PLENTY hateful and don't own morality.
Or, as the bible says, "let he who is without sin cast the first stone...". Not a bad thought to live by. Think before you act, if what you just wrote is going to cause pain, or shame you in five years, then hit the delete button. If you can apologize for what happened and have grown, good for you. And just remember that the next time you see someone condemned for what they did years ago, especially if they've changed. I always think I could never run for public off, some of the stuff that could be dragged up. Makes me hide my face now, and I've changed!
When I was young and stupid, my love didn't leave to be a rock and roll star. My 'love" was a fictional character (I forgot who exactly?) and I would go FULL PSYCHO on anyone who loved her as I did. I mean, I would send just endless streams of swearing, caps lock, and death threats. I think I made someone kill themselves, that or they just got a new account and said that. (Not too believable because who would kill themselves over a raging 11-year-old with nothing else to do?) I forgot about that website for a while. Every time my account got banned, I would make a new one. I kept f*****g GOING. YOU COULDN'T STOP MY S**T. Years passed. I grew up and changed for the better. I don't even think she's hot anymore. I deleted all my posts except for a couple. I feel so f*****g bad for all my targets and I just wanna go have tea and cookies in the park with them now. Like, it's killing me. I feel like Satan. And yet people still give me s**t for what I did when I was 11.
The s**t I did when I was 11 years old. I'm glad internet was not yet a thing then... ;)
Load More Replies... I'm not sure what his point is. If you put it out there, regardless of when it was, you should own it. Some people will dig about your past and think "once a sinner always a sinner" but that then shows their character. As long as you know you have changed, and that change is for the better and shines through, then most will see that. Some do stick to the past, and they might require a little more evidence of your change, and some will think 'a leopard can't change its spots." You still wrote it, for whatever reason, and you felt it was very important to share - so much so you put it on the internet rather than opting to post nicer things - the past you, is what made you!!!
The problem is it's not just about you, your social life and career is affected by those who raise their voices to put you down based on your past self. It takes more than an apology to fix all that. Also because so many people won't take the apology, but prefer to think it's all excuses. This is not about what others think vs. being yourself, it's about your life within society.
Load More Replies... If you are putting your thoughts out there, you will have to take responsibility for them. So you can change, but by making your thoughts public, you are inviting responses. Everyone wants to express themselves but no one wants to be judged.
This is a commentary on Tumblr's purity culture. It is nothing to do with taking responsibility for what you say, but a criticism of people who look at those that do and say that it doesn't matter what you now do, wht you were before has tainted you forever. You spoke to someone five years ago who is now considered 'problematic'? Be prepared to be doxxed and your workplace harassed. You drew fanart of a character whose skin isn't quite the right shade? Be prepared for a harassment campaign where someone finds out your dad said something racist before you were even born and you'll get swatted/police told that you're diddling kids. Those have all happened, and people have gotten killed over it.
Load More Replies... I get this concept when related to kids and adolescents, but not to adults. If you have behaved abominably as an adult, while it's great that you've changed, you don't get to write off the hurt and the damage and the problems that you have caused for others. Just because you are doing better, doesn't wipe the slate clean. We have all done horrible things. We all have to live with the consequences of our choices and our actions. You have to forgive yourself eventually, but you don't get to say that everyone else has to ignore your past, just because you've been able to move on from it.
Yep, I hate it when people call you out on old actions. Shut up, wanker. The fact that they have to drag up from the past means they are the worse person and can not fault you now
Leopards cannot change their spots, but people can change their opinions and attitudes. I used to lean to the right - then my eyes opened to this thing called Reality.
That's the big problem with internet: how can we know someone changed? We can't for the great majority... We only have what's (sometimes permanently) left there. So what can we do? Well, for one, we can just not dig in the past of someone. Or, more simply, we can refrain from posting stupid stuff online. But with social medias, it appears that most can't resist to the temptation... But it is also true that stuff posted by teenagers should not be considered at all, because the teenage years has always been about crossing lines.
You weren't right-wing. You were a hateful, ignorant little troll -- like most adolescents. And every grown-up troll who joins Antifa, or votes for a Socialist. lol
And I see you're *still* a hateful, ignorant little troll...
Load More Replies... No worries. I wouldn't want to work for you anyway.
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