Cold truths are hard to swallow for a reason. They strip us of the illusion that everything’s in our control and that we know things best. But in reality, that’s not how things work, and who likes to be told that?!
“What’s a truth no one wants to hear?” wondered Redditor u/grubbseuph11 on r/AskReddit and people shared some illuminating and brutally honest responses, like the hard-to-digest fact that “friends will come and go,” and that “no matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.”
So let’s get ready to be hit by a cold shower that should make you rethink this whole perspective on our lives, and be sure to check out our previous post with more hard truths right here.
This post may include affiliate links.
You aren’t a hero or even a good person just because you’re in the military
American brain washing... "thank you for your service"... I mean, yes, thank you! But war needs to be feared not celebrated!
Time doesn't heal wounds, it builds scar tissue.
You are much closer to being poor and homeless than you are to being super rich
Also, I am closer to being a long-term BP commentator than a long-term professional writer 🤷♀️
In order to find out why exactly it's so hard to swallow a hard truth, and how we should react to it, Bored Panda spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches women how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.
“When we develop close relationships, we expect those people to be gentle with us, not hurt us,” said Susan explaining why hard truths are not pleasant to hear. “When they offer up a hard truth, it violates the expectation that the person isn't going to cause us pain. We want them to love and encourage us—but we don't always realize that a hard truth is being given to us with love and encouragement, with our best interests in mind.”
“I don't know” is a perfectly valid answer to many questions.
I have a professional qualification where you have to have said "sorry, I can't answer that question" to qualify. My boss primed the customer to ask something silly.
“Often, what someone else calls a ‘hard truth’ we call ‘criticism,’” she said. “If a criticism is true, we can agree and apologize, then work to make it right—or we can ignore and deflect it if it isn't true.”
Moreover, Susan said that when someone we care about delivers a hard truth, we should take that opinion more seriously, because this is a person whose opinion we trust. “I advise my clients to think about the intention behind the message. If the intention is to help us, prevent us from making a mistake, or intervene before we get hurt, it's worthwhile to consider.”
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life.
Mistakes are unavoidable. Failure is unavoidable. We cannot run from it and need to stop being so afraid, because it's ok to not get everything right all the time, and like this says, sometimes it's out if your control
Some people are bad parents.
Being funny or smart doesn’t mean you’re ready to take care if a human being (maybe even multiple) for a good chunk of your life.
Please don’t get kids to fix a relationship either, I’ve seen this too much and it doesn’t work.
Most people genuinely do not care about you or your opinions, which is just fine
Susan advises asking yourself if the "hard truth" is really true. “Be brutally honest with yourself—remember why your loved one brought it up to you in the first place!”
“It's beneficial to hear a hard truth when we're hurting someone else, hurting ourselves, or not being true to our values,” she explained and added: “So situations that look like that would be drug/alcohol abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse, bad financial or career decisions, or dating someone married if you're religious.”
No matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.
Most people shouldn’t have kids.
When you look at the impact of 7 billion humans at a time on the surface of the planet, yeah. This is probably true.
Life will never be exactly like it was before the pandemic started.
After the 1918 influenza epidemic came the roaring 20's which was revolutionary for both the arts and society, a similar thing happened with the renaissance, so who knows, maybe it will never be the same again for the better ( for those who have lost jobs/loved ones to Covid i am not minimising ur suffering)
You can't run from yourself. Moving towns, cities or even countries won't automatically change who you are
This should be way higher. It's important to be at peace with yourself otherwise you will never be happy.
So true. If you can't stand yourself, how can others?
Load More Replies...
Nope, but I did run from some scary family members, and it did reduce my stress! (I find 450 miles to be just right.)
Sure does change you! I was always depressed living in Buffalo where I grew up. I thought it was normal. I moved to Florida and my depression vanished! Turned out to be lack of vitamin D from the lack of sunlight. in Buffalo seven months of the year.
It won’t automatically but for so many people travelling, living abroad, being adventurous in new places, can all be very freeing and bring about great change. It can have a huge impact on someone’s life, it did on mine and most people I met who were in the same boat :-)
Seeing more of the world surely does broaden one's point of view. And we've seen the negative cultural impact of a general lack of travelling due to the pandemic. It's important to gain experience. Sadly, not everyone can afford it, though.
Load More Replies... Yes and no. Depends where you grew up. Moving from a small European city, where everyone knows you for who you were in your childhood, straight into a world metropolis like Seoul, where there's too many people and too many things going on for people to mind other people's businesses, has helped me develop into who I really am.
I disagree, If I could move to a developed nation. I could find a minimum wage job which is most of the time a respectable job and start better financial decisions and there by improving myself character and finance wise. But in a developing country and and population in billion range, its extremely difficult. You immediate environment and mental state due to that enviroment has a lot of impact on the direction you go.
I had become and angry and depressive person and eventually realized it was largely because I hated where I lived. I left and the anger and depression are gone. Maybe you can't run from yourself, but you can be in situations that crush your true self, in which case you should run.
This is true, but a new place and new perspectives can help you change. Moving to Japan and experiencing what it's like to live as a migrant with limited language skills, not having friends and family to rely on, having to really try with things outside of comfort zone; all changed me massively. Moving to the countryside from the city gave me a chance to get back to myself and find peace.
My mother moved from place to place to run away from any problem that came up. It was exhausting being her child, being in one or two schools in a year in several states.
But changing your surroundings can definitely help. Many a narrow-minded bigot can benefit from moving outside his or her familiar circle. And sometimes it's good to have a fresh start, away from unhealthy influences. But you will find them wherever you go, if personal growth is not a priority.
Your past will always manage to come back to haunt you, so it’s best to be up front about it.
True, after finishing school many traveled the world to "find out who they are and what they want from live" and they returned as the exact same person still not knowing what they want and who they are. You can focus to work on yourself at one place just fine I think. Also you can sometimes "see the world" in another neighborhood, another work field, another scene, if you are open to it.
Don’t be the elephant in the room basically, some people do not realize it’s them and blame others
When my Ex husband went to counseling after our divorce, he asked the counselor if he thought it would be a good idea to leave the state and start over? The counselor told him, if you are depressed now, imagine how much more depressed you will be away from from family and friends. Relocation is not a solution. You, dealing with you, will set you back on track. You. Not your ex wife...............
Tell that to the crud running to England. Where they aren't wanted or compatible!
Good lord, I've said this for years. "Oh, life in this town sucks? I'm gonna move and things will get better"..... Um...no. You forget, you take YOU with you, wherever you go and that is more than likely the problem.... Not your location.... These are the people who have moved like 10 times in their lives looking for the greener grass.
Can't agree. There may well be things in that town keeping you from being yourself and surviving. That is when you must run to someplace else.
You can change your clothes Change your hairstyle, your friends, cities, continents But sooner or later your own self will always catch up Always it waits in the wings https://www.songfacts.com/lyrics/the-cribs/be-safe
This is generally referred to as a "geographic". Wherever you go, there you'll be.
This sentiment is hammered into every person entering AA, NA, and others. You are the problem that needs fixing, not your scenery.
"wont automatically change who you are" a fresh start a new environment and new associates could over time
I met a woman who moved cross-country at least twice a year. She was just trying to run away from herself. It was SO sad.
The problem with moving to get away from your troubles is that you take you with you.
"Whoever succeeds inside his country will succeed outside his country" https://twitter.com/podcastswalif
You can never run away because you will always be wherever you end up.
BUT: if you’re trying to escape from your current life, probably the best way to do it is to change something major like that. More people need to know that they don’t need to end their life to stop living it.
I disagree with this one: idiosyncrasy is different in different places, and it may help u to find peace with yourself
Happiness comes from within not without! You are already programmed as to be as you are!
If you have problems, they are with you wherever you go. There is no off switch.
It is not about changing who you are, it is about running from toxic relatives / memories / circumstances.
Yup! No such thing as a geographic cure! You bring you wherever you go!
It's like that SNL skit, Romano Tours. "If you're sad where you are, and you get on a plane to Italy; the you in Italy will be the same sad you from before. Just in a new place."
Friends will come and go. You will have many friends who one day you will never see again.
You are the main character in your life but you're just an extra in everone else's
It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.
Niceness, kindness, small random acts, these are one of the things I love about life. Even if they are few and far between. And doing them always feels good so it's a win win ^-^
Climate change is an exponential curve and we are entering the shoulder. Natural disasters are expected to increase 8x in the next couple decades. It gets worse after that.
I live in Phoenix, where 200 people move to every single day. Also, where it will be uninhabitable within 20 years because of the rise in temperatures. Don't move here.
It just takes a second to destroy what has taken years or even centuries to make.
The world is 100% being run by corruption.
I read this as "corporation," doubted it, then realized that was probably true too.
War can come to your doorstep, everything can change. No country is immune. History clearly demonstrates this.
Not everything happens "for a reason" or because of something you have (or have not) done.
Sometimes, things in life and the Universe go sideways and it's just your time to be caught in the crossfire.
All your bones are wet right now
If you don’t take care of your teeth when you’re young, you’ll regret it when you’re old. Brush twice a day, goddamnit.
If you’re chasing a romance or friendship… the other person doesn’t want to be with you.
You’re not special… but that’s okay because everyone is not special together.
I wish we‘d teach that more. So many peope think they’re special and thus believe they’re entitled to something. You and your wishes/opinions/needs definitely matter, but so do those of everyone else.
The odds that you die tomorrow is wayyy higher than winning on that lottery ticket.
There's no "health in every size". If you're over/under certain weight limit, you have a higher risk in getting sick. There's no "but-".
I wish more people understood the concept of "risk". You can totally be 20lb over weight and still be healthy RIGHT NOW. All it means is that you are gambling that you will be healthy tomorrow or next week or next year. It is also not a guarantee. If there is a risk factor that one in ten overweight men will have a heart attack, and you gather nine of your overweight friends you cannot say with complete accuracy which one of you it will be. It is a gamble - some people are happy to gamble, and accept the fact they may lose. But there's a difference between knowing it's a possibility and being scared into thinking it's a certainty.
You can't make someone love you if they don't
This is a terrible movie trope. Keep pestering and chasing and eventually the other person will fall madly in love with you. Sorry, but it doesn't work like that. You will go to prison for stalking and may find yourself on the receiving end of somebody else's love. You don't want that. You really don't want that.
That you need to stop procrastinating and get that thing you've been needing to do done already.
Your boyfriend/husband is always going to find other women attractive.
Ur partner will always find other people attractive ( weather they're bf/gf doesn't matter )
We’ll eventually be alone, so it’s either being comfortable with ourselves or being tormented by loneliness later in life
Staying with someone who cheated on you is never a good idea
Who hurt you, OP, that made you believe this was 100% true for 100% of people 100% of the time? People are complicated. Relationships are complicated. Absolutes about either rarely apply.
There are some people who just are NOT going to like you. And you will have done nothing to deserve, cause or warrant it. Its not your fault.
There will also be people who dislike you because your actions harmed them. You can apologize, but they are not obligated to forgive you.
Your belly button was your old mouth.
...and, in your pelvis, the coccyx is a small bone of four fused vertebrae that would make up the tail if humans had one.
Life is as much unfair and unjust as it is possible for it to be
Oxytocin, the “love hormone”, also increases animosity towards those you regard as “others”
It’s not gonna be okay unless you make it okay. I often hear people say: it’s gonna be okay. Well, it’s probably gonna be okay, if you actually put the effort to make it okay. And sometimes, you have to let go, even the big things.
@Norman Baloch Shut up with your stupid MLM or whatever
Load More Replies...
Here is a hard truth: If someone will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you. That married person you have been sleeping with will not suddenly become monogamous when they leave their significant other for you. You are just the "right now" while they are looking for the next affair.
It is true that we are each and all going to die. Many immediately--and irrationality--conclude that this makes everything preceding death meaningless. But this just simply doesn't follow. In fact, for countless people who have not even been religious the fact of death has made life more meaningful and precious. Yes we are small, finite, mortal. This realization can be profoundly liberating. You cannot do any great damage in the universe. So go have a life that is fun and full of beauty.
A truth nobody wants to hear: There is no key to "perfect health". Bodies break down. It's called... nature.
There is, if you understand the concept of risk and probability.
Load More Replies... One day, and you didn't notice, your parents picked you up for the very last time.
Like, a year ago. My mother proved to me that she can still pick me up like a baby. She tossed me on the couch...I was 16, and I'm heavy XD.
Load More Replies...
Jesus most likely never existed. Also: seriously, there is no god. Be a good human without expecting to be rewarded in next life
You can doubt God but there is a good chance that Jesus existed
Load More Replies...
The supernatural jesus almost certainly never existed. There may have been a person(s) that the fictional jesus was based on, but no one has superpowers. Even if jesus was real, he was a real c-u-nt! Why did jesus supposedly heal some lepers, but not cure the disease leprosy itself? Was he playing favorites? Is he an as-shole? Incompetent? Doesn't have the power? Doesn't have the will? Science has largely cured the disease leprosy. Thank scientists. Jesus said that, I come not to bring peace, but a sword. He came to separate families and turn mothers against sons, brothers against each other, etc.
here's one that nobody wants to hear: The Covid virus will run its course. If you study every epidemic there has ever been, the susceptible always die off. Then the plague ends. The people with sturdy genes and bloodlines survive. Sorry folks, but even with vaccines and the latest antiviral drugs, this will be the case with Covid also. Yes, take the vaccines, always a good thing. Yes, wear masks, socially distance, isolate, wash hands, and do all the other things the experts recommend. But the virus will mutate 100 times over before they develop the next version of vaccine or drug. Eventually, those with a susceptible weakness in the genes somewhere will die. That's how viruses work. The virus finds an exploitable weakness, and then it makes the most of it. The flu virus can be caught, exchanged, and transmitted by pigs, ducks, and humans. Whenever these are in close proximity like on a pig farm, mutations happen. It becomes much more complicated with bats thrown in the mix. Count yourself lucky & blessed if you have survived this long. Before it is all over, the number of deaths and crippling cases may be several times the current count. So stay safe & well!
here's another one nobody wants to hear: Your government is spying on you. They monitor every single email, social media post, or blog rant (including this one). Be careful what you say or put up. There are key catchwords and phrases they look for that will get you flagged and monitored. https://www.zdnet.com/article/top-374-keywords-the-u-s-government-monitors/... George Orwell was right. Big Brother is definitely watching. Never make any threats online against anyone.
I'll likely get downvoted for this comment but here goes.... Aren't a lot of these just common sense? And who are these "truths" aimed at? Adults? If you're an adult who needs to be told that not everyone will agree with you or life won't necessarily work out the way you imagine or even brushing your teeth is important then.......really?
People told me a lot of good or bad things when growing up. In fact, as we grew older, we lost that childhood innocence' or vision and growing up to see a bigger picture and different perspective. It can be hard to accept the wall in font of us had crumbled down that used to shield us from the big world. As we reach that age, we had to take it because there is no reset button in real life.
Let me ask you one question: If there's a real reset button in front of you and it will tell you at a specific date, Would you want to press that button?
Load More Replies... there will never be a world free of racism, sexism, or homophobia. People have already laid the groundwork for these twisted ideologies and there will always be those people who will look at these ideas at the wrong time and run with them.
Heres another one: if we all die at the same time, no one will miss or mourn anyone.
I would like to add: U dont get to experience something untill it happens to u, or presents itself in your personal universe. Basically, “s**t doesnt happen until it happens”
To quote my Dad: "Life's a s#*t sandwich... Either eat it, or starve."
Having a kid doesn't magically make you a good person, your problems any more important than anyone else's, or your struggles any more valid than the next person. And no, I'm NOT going to regret my choice to not have children. I'm sorry you regret your decision to, but don't deflect your issues onto me.
Everything comes to a conclusion. It may not be the one that makes you happy, or the one that you wanted, or expected, it's just the end.
Some of these are not TRUTH, but rather opinion. They should read "I don't know" section.
Impossible to return to a normal state of health , mind, strength and spirit.
Load More Replies...
here's another one nobody wants to hear: God is judging the nations with warning or harbinger judgments. The bible predicts the end-times apostasy. That is the season we are in right now. Bible prophecy is working itself out like slow gear works turning that will not be slowed or stopped, whether you acknowledge it or not. God sends remedial judgments to warn the nations to repent. If they do not repent, the judgments will become much more severe. The next thing on the prophetic calendar is the pre-tribulation rapture. Then follows the 7-year Tribulation period. God will send multiple horrific judgments like never before seen on earth. The next thing is the Second Coming, where King Jesus literally returns to earth at the head of a great army to intervene decisively in the battle of Armageddon. Then he will set up the Millennial Kingdom, a time of unprecedented peace, harmony, and happiness. Get ready, the Lord is coming soon. Learn about the many different terms I have used here at: https://www.gotquestions.org/... Learn about the End Times here: https://christinprophecy.org/sermons/50-reasons-we-are-in-the-end-times/... learn about harbinger judgments at: https://www.raptureready.com/... https://harbingersdaily.com/... I know this is not the narrative you are used to out there, that this is not the future you are expecting, and this will provoke discussion. Be nice, okay? No insults. Intelligent discussion invited. Downvote all you want, but just be nice about it. Rabbi Jonathan Cahn put up a great video here: http://www.thebigwobble.org/p/front-page.html
This is a post to remind people that they are miserable and that they always will be… BP is becoming more and more about negativity. Such a shame because I used to like it.
As compared to Trump; a pedophile, xenophobic, racist, sexist, incestuous, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, trash excuse for a person?
Load More Replies...
@Norman Baloch Shut up with your stupid MLM or whatever
Load More Replies... Here is a hard truth: If someone will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you. That married person you have been sleeping with will not suddenly become monogamous when they leave their significant other for you. You are just the "right now" while they are looking for the next affair.
It is true that we are each and all going to die. Many immediately--and irrationality--conclude that this makes everything preceding death meaningless. But this just simply doesn't follow. In fact, for countless people who have not even been religious the fact of death has made life more meaningful and precious. Yes we are small, finite, mortal. This realization can be profoundly liberating. You cannot do any great damage in the universe. So go have a life that is fun and full of beauty.
A truth nobody wants to hear: There is no key to "perfect health". Bodies break down. It's called... nature.
There is, if you understand the concept of risk and probability.
Load More Replies... One day, and you didn't notice, your parents picked you up for the very last time.
Like, a year ago. My mother proved to me that she can still pick me up like a baby. She tossed me on the couch...I was 16, and I'm heavy XD.
Load More Replies... Jesus most likely never existed. Also: seriously, there is no god. Be a good human without expecting to be rewarded in next life
You can doubt God but there is a good chance that Jesus existed
Load More Replies... The supernatural jesus almost certainly never existed. There may have been a person(s) that the fictional jesus was based on, but no one has superpowers. Even if jesus was real, he was a real c-u-nt! Why did jesus supposedly heal some lepers, but not cure the disease leprosy itself? Was he playing favorites? Is he an as-shole? Incompetent? Doesn't have the power? Doesn't have the will? Science has largely cured the disease leprosy. Thank scientists. Jesus said that, I come not to bring peace, but a sword. He came to separate families and turn mothers against sons, brothers against each other, etc.
here's one that nobody wants to hear: The Covid virus will run its course. If you study every epidemic there has ever been, the susceptible always die off. Then the plague ends. The people with sturdy genes and bloodlines survive. Sorry folks, but even with vaccines and the latest antiviral drugs, this will be the case with Covid also. Yes, take the vaccines, always a good thing. Yes, wear masks, socially distance, isolate, wash hands, and do all the other things the experts recommend. But the virus will mutate 100 times over before they develop the next version of vaccine or drug. Eventually, those with a susceptible weakness in the genes somewhere will die. That's how viruses work. The virus finds an exploitable weakness, and then it makes the most of it. The flu virus can be caught, exchanged, and transmitted by pigs, ducks, and humans. Whenever these are in close proximity like on a pig farm, mutations happen. It becomes much more complicated with bats thrown in the mix. Count yourself lucky & blessed if you have survived this long. Before it is all over, the number of deaths and crippling cases may be several times the current count. So stay safe & well!
here's another one nobody wants to hear: Your government is spying on you. They monitor every single email, social media post, or blog rant (including this one). Be careful what you say or put up. There are key catchwords and phrases they look for that will get you flagged and monitored. https://www.zdnet.com/article/top-374-keywords-the-u-s-government-monitors/... George Orwell was right. Big Brother is definitely watching. Never make any threats online against anyone.
I'll likely get downvoted for this comment but here goes.... Aren't a lot of these just common sense? And who are these "truths" aimed at? Adults? If you're an adult who needs to be told that not everyone will agree with you or life won't necessarily work out the way you imagine or even brushing your teeth is important then.......really?
People told me a lot of good or bad things when growing up. In fact, as we grew older, we lost that childhood innocence' or vision and growing up to see a bigger picture and different perspective. It can be hard to accept the wall in font of us had crumbled down that used to shield us from the big world. As we reach that age, we had to take it because there is no reset button in real life.
Let me ask you one question: If there's a real reset button in front of you and it will tell you at a specific date, Would you want to press that button?
Load More Replies... there will never be a world free of racism, sexism, or homophobia. People have already laid the groundwork for these twisted ideologies and there will always be those people who will look at these ideas at the wrong time and run with them.
Heres another one: if we all die at the same time, no one will miss or mourn anyone.
I would like to add: U dont get to experience something untill it happens to u, or presents itself in your personal universe. Basically, “s**t doesnt happen until it happens”
To quote my Dad: "Life's a s#*t sandwich... Either eat it, or starve."
Having a kid doesn't magically make you a good person, your problems any more important than anyone else's, or your struggles any more valid than the next person. And no, I'm NOT going to regret my choice to not have children. I'm sorry you regret your decision to, but don't deflect your issues onto me.
Everything comes to a conclusion. It may not be the one that makes you happy, or the one that you wanted, or expected, it's just the end.
Some of these are not TRUTH, but rather opinion. They should read "I don't know" section.
Impossible to return to a normal state of health , mind, strength and spirit.
Load More Replies... here's another one nobody wants to hear: God is judging the nations with warning or harbinger judgments. The bible predicts the end-times apostasy. That is the season we are in right now. Bible prophecy is working itself out like slow gear works turning that will not be slowed or stopped, whether you acknowledge it or not. God sends remedial judgments to warn the nations to repent. If they do not repent, the judgments will become much more severe. The next thing on the prophetic calendar is the pre-tribulation rapture. Then follows the 7-year Tribulation period. God will send multiple horrific judgments like never before seen on earth. The next thing is the Second Coming, where King Jesus literally returns to earth at the head of a great army to intervene decisively in the battle of Armageddon. Then he will set up the Millennial Kingdom, a time of unprecedented peace, harmony, and happiness. Get ready, the Lord is coming soon. Learn about the many different terms I have used here at: https://www.gotquestions.org/... Learn about the End Times here: https://christinprophecy.org/sermons/50-reasons-we-are-in-the-end-times/... learn about harbinger judgments at: https://www.raptureready.com/... https://harbingersdaily.com/... I know this is not the narrative you are used to out there, that this is not the future you are expecting, and this will provoke discussion. Be nice, okay? No insults. Intelligent discussion invited. Downvote all you want, but just be nice about it. Rabbi Jonathan Cahn put up a great video here: http://www.thebigwobble.org/p/front-page.html
This is a post to remind people that they are miserable and that they always will be… BP is becoming more and more about negativity. Such a shame because I used to like it.
As compared to Trump; a pedophile, xenophobic, racist, sexist, incestuous, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, trash excuse for a person?
Load More Replies...