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Cold truths are hard to swallow for a reason. They strip us of the illusion that everything’s in our control and that we know things best. But in reality, that’s not how things work, and who likes to be told that?!

What’s a truth no one wants to hear?” wondered Redditor u/grubbseuph11 on r/AskReddit and people shared some illuminating and brutally honest responses, like the hard-to-digest fact that “friends will come and go,” and that “no matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.”

So let’s get ready to be hit by a cold shower that should make you rethink this whole perspective on our lives, and be sure to check out our previous post with more hard truths right here.

#1

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them You aren’t a hero or even a good person just because you’re in the military

SouthwestTraveller , Diego González Report

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Natalia Shoemark
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

American brain washing... "thank you for your service"... I mean, yes, thank you! But war needs to be feared not celebrated!

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#3

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them You are much closer to being poor and homeless than you are to being super rich

fckboris , Shail Sharma Report

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, I am closer to being a long-term BP commentator than a long-term professional writer 🤷‍♀️

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In order to find out why exactly it's so hard to swallow a hard truth, and how we should react to it, Bored Panda spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches women how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.

“When we develop close relationships, we expect those people to be gentle with us, not hurt us,” said Susan explaining why hard truths are not pleasant to hear. “When they offer up a hard truth, it violates the expectation that the person isn't going to cause us pain. We want them to love and encourage us—but we don't always realize that a hard truth is being given to us with love and encouragement, with our best interests in mind.”

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#4

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Bad people don’t always “get what they deserve”.

EmbarrassedCar7457 , Abbat Report

#5

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Not all babies are cute.

616abc517 , Ryan Franco Report

#6

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them “I don't know” is a perfectly valid answer to many questions.

TheBrassDancer , Andrew Neel Report

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Tim Pillinger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a professional qualification where you have to have said "sorry, I can't answer that question" to qualify. My boss primed the customer to ask something silly.

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“Often, what someone else calls a ‘hard truth’ we call ‘criticism,’” she said. “If a criticism is true, we can agree and apologize, then work to make it right—or we can ignore and deflect it if it isn't true.”

Moreover, Susan said that when someone we care about delivers a hard truth, we should take that opinion more seriously, because this is a person whose opinion we trust. “I advise my clients to think about the intention behind the message. If the intention is to help us, prevent us from making a mistake, or intervene before we get hurt, it's worthwhile to consider.”

#7

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life.

MayaButtreeks1985 , Adrian Swancar Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mistakes are unavoidable. Failure is unavoidable. We cannot run from it and need to stop being so afraid, because it's ok to not get everything right all the time, and like this says, sometimes it's out if your control

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#8

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Some people are bad parents.

Being funny or smart doesn’t mean you’re ready to take care if a human being (maybe even multiple) for a good chunk of your life.

Please don’t get kids to fix a relationship either, I’ve seen this too much and it doesn’t work.

UwU_was_ist_das , Alberto Casetta Report

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Rick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t have kids and don’t want them and it’s simply because I don’t want to spend all of my adult life looking after and raising a child, I just want to live my own and not worry about that.

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#9

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Most people genuinely do not care about you or your opinions, which is just fine

Klaus_Heisler87 , LinkedIn Sales Solutions Report

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Rick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately, social media has made a lot of people forget this rule.

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Susan advises asking yourself if the "hard truth" is really true. “Be brutally honest with yourself—remember why your loved one brought it up to you in the first place!”

“It's beneficial to hear a hard truth when we're hurting someone else, hurting ourselves, or not being true to our values,” she explained and added: “So situations that look like that would be drug/alcohol abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse, bad financial or career decisions, or dating someone married if you're religious.”

#10

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them No matter how likeable you may be, there are always going to be certain people who don't like you, sometimes for no particular reason.

DeathSpiral321 , Jorge Saavedra Report

#11

Most people shouldn’t have kids.

Swedish-Butt-Whistle Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you look at the impact of 7 billion humans at a time on the surface of the planet, yeah. This is probably true.

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Nathan Pogorzala
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Earth can support a lot more, doesn't mean we should considered how we produce energy and litter.

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magpookie1133
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sadly, the people who should have kids don't want to, but the people who shouldn't have kids keep having them even though they can't support them.

marshafredell avatar
Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not real sure about this one. Most people I know probably shouldn't have kids but I do know a lot of good parents too. I love my kids and couldn't imagine life without them. I at least assume I was a good parent. At 22, 25, and 26, my kids still love me and we have a very close relationship. Did I let them fail and suffer consequences, yes. But that's how they learn.

ivoh avatar
Ivo H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's great! I agree with you more than with OP. But one thing to add - you can never know if you'll be good parent until you are one (until there's anything that's evident, as agresivity, drug problems etc.). You are never born parent and once you are one, it's usualy too late to just change your mind. The only thing that is left is just to try your hardest and loving and caring about your children, being the best parent you could ever be. Hell I don't know if I'm good parent and I have 2 little children already :D I'm just trying my very best. And last thing - considering the close relationship with your children in their age speaks for itself. You're obviously great, hopefully I'll be too one day! <3

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Scagsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife and I can't have kids which is sad, but at least we're doing the world a favour by not introducing another little consumer into it.

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Kurt Mckenney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, a horrible minority of parents make others look bad. Just because your parents were awful does not make everyone else that way.

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Nandina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

More effort is made to find homes for dogs than kids in foster care. Currently, there are more than 400,000 in the US.

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Chris Zaydel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here in Baltimore, thats easily 25% of the population. Our crime rate is directly feed by people having kids without the emotional or financial ability to do it properly.

j23blondie avatar
Jennifer Norton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a huge one. Life is not a check list! You don't have to accomplish the same things as others. Seriously!!!!!

relay76 avatar
Full Nameю
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually. Minorities (which is a false label) Should not have any. Why? Look at the world? They all come running to the caucasian Countries. When theirs becomes a achithole.

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Jim Wamsley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a friend that always says, 'you need to pass a test to get a license to cut hair. You don't need anything to have kids.'

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Cory Kent
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No no. Some yes, but no most. Most people are good parents. We only see the most people who are bad. We watch more nasty stories on the news. We read most of the nasty stories in our social things. Most people don't share the good parent stories, and most of the good stories are never trended high as the bad stories. This is a brain psychological problem to feel only what they see must be the most truthful, without trying to check if it is the truth.

3rainbow avatar
EJN
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people end up accidentally having kids. The method to prevent this is available and, if you change your mind later, it can be reversed in most cases.

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Riley Quinn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are at least 6 billion people too many on this planet to guarantee any sort of sustainability. So, yeah, most people shouldn't have kids. Don't even get me going on child abuse, kids left behind in the system, etc.

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Cynthia RN
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one should have kids; it's immoral. No one asks to be born, and no one has the right to pull a sentient life into existence without their consent.

michelleotto_1 avatar
Mattewis88
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and yet they're free to be had. We need rules not rights - oh lawd that sounds bad. Nvm.

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April Pickett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they're adults and know themselves, no they shouldn't have kids.

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Catherine McKenzie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's too many humans here f*****g up the planet as it is! Stop having so many babies people!

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PixxelDust
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

looking at the number of people in gen Z who are traumatized from having emotionally or physically abusive parents, i wholeheartedly agree.

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Nia Loves Art
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most people based on what? I have known a lot of people and worked with a lot of kids. I’ve known people with bad parents, but they are not as numerous as parents who are at least okay-ish. Ultimately most parents raise self sufficient adults who are mostly alright.

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Sam rice
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Again... The movie Idiocracy! The people with the "good" intelligent genes who will probably spawn leaders of the future think too much into readiness preparation etc while the dumb uneducated backwards thinkers reproduce like bunnies

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Monica Hayes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

people,especially politicians and religious types dont admit we are horribly overpopulated and this,IMHO, contributes to so many problems on our fragile planet....but, mother nature is truly getting fed up with our sh**y species...its called climate change!

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RU Sirius
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the propaganda thing. It is ridiculous how it is deep now in the minds of the majority judging by the up/downvote ratio.

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Raven DeathShade
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have friends like that. I always reply the same: "do you know how much toll that takes on you? Do you know how much pain you will experience? Do you know how much pain your children will experience when you eventually neglect them because you're too overwhelmed to do anything about it?" My parents have 11, and it was miserable growing up.

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𝕥𝕠𝕒𝕤𝕥
Community Member
2 years ago

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unknown talker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes no kids means no life and whoever is a teacher will have to quit her job and millions will loose there job. HORAYYY!

sengraham avatar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They said most. Most meaning not all of the kids, and it's also pretty much impossible to get everyone not to have a child. If we get most people not to have children, then we don't overpopulate our planet, and lots of people aren't fit to be parents anyway, so they shouldn't have kids, ending up with most people not having kids.

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Full Name
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why? What an empty and ignorant statement. Are there SOME people that shouldn't have kids? Absolutely. But to say that "most" people shouldn't have kids is an excessive and unnecessary thing to say.

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Sergio Bicerra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. Saying 'Most' is not a correct wording, 'Many' should be used. Either way, yes, many people should not be parents.

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Ahmad Suleiman
Community Member
2 years ago

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Nobody should really have kids. Spare them this terrible existence

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Lyone Fein
Community Member
2 years ago

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Disagree on this one. Most people are capable of giving love, imperfectly, but well enough.

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. I know a lot of great foster parents who were initially hesitate because they thought they couldn't be perfect. You don't need to be perfect to be a parent.

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#12

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Having a University degree doesn't guarantee you a job

PripyatHorse , Abby Thompson Report

#13

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Life will never be exactly like it was before the pandemic started.

SchteeveFour , Mauro Lima Report

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Gelato Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After the 1918 influenza epidemic came the roaring 20's which was revolutionary for both the arts and society, a similar thing happened with the renaissance, so who knows, maybe it will never be the same again for the better ( for those who have lost jobs/loved ones to Covid i am not minimising ur suffering)

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#14

You can't run from yourself. Moving towns, cities or even countries won't automatically change who you are

MD564 Report

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JuJu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should be way higher. It's important to be at peace with yourself otherwise you will never be happy.

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#15

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Friends will come and go. You will have many friends who one day you will never see again.

Realitycheck-4u , Matheus Ferrero Report

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K. Lange
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and you will often learn it the hard way: when you would need them the most - they will disappear.

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#16

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them You are the main character in your life but you're just an extra in everone else's

Accomplished-Bee4700 , Robert McGowan Report

#17

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.

RepresentativeWay734 , Brooke Cagle Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Niceness, kindness, small random acts, these are one of the things I love about life. Even if they are few and far between. And doing them always feels good so it's a win win ^-^

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#18

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Climate change is an exponential curve and we are entering the shoulder. Natural disasters are expected to increase 8x in the next couple decades. It gets worse after that.

gandhikahn , Chris Gallagher Report

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kristina law
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Phoenix, where 200 people move to every single day. Also, where it will be uninhabitable within 20 years because of the rise in temperatures. Don't move here.

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#19

It just takes a second to destroy what has taken years or even centuries to make.

dexterhines Report

#20

The world is 100% being run by corruption.

FrostFurnace Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read this as "corporation," doubted it, then realized that was probably true too.

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#21

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them War can come to your doorstep, everything can change. No country is immune. History clearly demonstrates this.

SchteeveFour , UX Gun Report

#22

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Not everything happens "for a reason" or because of something you have (or have not) done.

Sometimes, things in life and the Universe go sideways and it's just your time to be caught in the crossfire.

Emcee_Such_N_Such , Ryoji Iwata Report

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Burs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And please do not go to people in a bad situation and tell them that x “happened for a reason”. It doesn’t matter what you believe. Telling them that their mum just died, they lost they lost their job or they are severely ill “for a reason” is extremely invalidating and rude.

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#23

All your bones are wet right now

Toren8002 Report

#24

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them If you don’t take care of your teeth when you’re young, you’ll regret it when you’re old. Brush twice a day, goddamnit.

toothfixingfiend , Diana Polekhina Report

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Elmie Pumpkinbush
Community Member
2 years ago

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#25

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them If you’re chasing a romance or friendship… the other person doesn’t want to be with you.

Magicman2444 , Toa Heftiba Report

#26

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them You’re not special… but that’s okay because everyone is not special together.

BeechballMusic , Мария Волк Report

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Kari Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish we‘d teach that more. So many peope think they’re special and thus believe they’re entitled to something. You and your wishes/opinions/needs definitely matter, but so do those of everyone else.

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#27

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them The odds that you die tomorrow is wayyy higher than winning on that lottery ticket.

Swiftzword , Erik Mclean Report

#28

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them There's no "health in every size". If you're over/under certain weight limit, you have a higher risk in getting sick. There's no "but-".

cleanbroom , i yunmai Report

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NsG
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish more people understood the concept of "risk". You can totally be 20lb over weight and still be healthy RIGHT NOW. All it means is that you are gambling that you will be healthy tomorrow or next week or next year. It is also not a guarantee. If there is a risk factor that one in ten overweight men will have a heart attack, and you gather nine of your overweight friends you cannot say with complete accuracy which one of you it will be. It is a gamble - some people are happy to gamble, and accept the fact they may lose. But there's a difference between knowing it's a possibility and being scared into thinking it's a certainty.

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#30

You can't make someone love you if they don't

krazekrittermom Report

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Scagsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a terrible movie trope. Keep pestering and chasing and eventually the other person will fall madly in love with you. Sorry, but it doesn't work like that. You will go to prison for stalking and may find yourself on the receiving end of somebody else's love. You don't want that. You really don't want that.

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#31

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them You won’t be young and beautiful forever.

mtn4444 Report

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K. Lange
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that you are getting older doesn't automatically mean that you won't be beautyful anymore. The beauty just changes.

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#32

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them That you need to stop procrastinating and get that thing you've been needing to do done already.

PikaBirb44 , Annie Spratt Report

#33

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Your boyfriend/husband is always going to find other women attractive.

Milkie444 , Caleb George Report

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Gelato Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ur partner will always find other people attractive ( weather they're bf/gf doesn't matter )

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#34

We’ll eventually be alone, so it’s either being comfortable with ourselves or being tormented by loneliness later in life

yuhuhuhuhuhu Report

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A hard lesson to have to go through. Loneliness is tough but loneliness in old age is not only tough but detrimental for your health too.

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#35

Staying with someone who cheated on you is never a good idea

bluemorphine Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who hurt you, OP, that made you believe this was 100% true for 100% of people 100% of the time? People are complicated. Relationships are complicated. Absolutes about either rarely apply.

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#36

There are some people who just are NOT going to like you. And you will have done nothing to deserve, cause or warrant it. Its not your fault.

tehrealdirtydan Report

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Luther von Wolfen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There will also be people who dislike you because your actions harmed them. You can apologize, but they are not obligated to forgive you.

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#37

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Your belly button was your old mouth.

Kairosiris , Ben Hershey Report

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

...and, in your pelvis, the coccyx is a small bone of four fused vertebrae that would make up the tail if humans had one.

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#38

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Life is as much unfair and unjust as it is possible for it to be

BrainCelll , Erik Mclean Report

#39

People Share 40 Things That Are True, But No One Wants To Hear Them Oxytocin, the “love hormone”, also increases animosity towards those you regard as “others”

Arcus91 , Zoe Report

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jamie1707
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm saying to myself "what bullshait is this?" I was reading that as "Oxycontin".

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#40

It’s not gonna be okay unless you make it okay. I often hear people say: it’s gonna be okay. Well, it’s probably gonna be okay, if you actually put the effort to make it okay. And sometimes, you have to let go, even the big things.

ClassicD*ck Report

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Burs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. Many things cannot be fixed and pretending that it’s the persons fault is very cruel. A woman whose son just died is not going to be ok, it’s not her fault.

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