Wife Tricks Husband Into Eating Food She Made After Years Of Him Refusing To Try It, And The Internet Is Flabbergasted
She may not have a Michelin star or a bestselling cookbook, but your mom cooks better than anyone else. Period. No question about it. She meticulously prepares each meal with love and devotion, nourishing your body and soul and sparking your culinary curiosity. You hope she passed those honed skills and time-honored recipes down to you, but something is missing no matter how hard you try to replicate them. Sure, it’s good, but it never tastes like mom’s.
However, things can get complicated once a spouse comes into the picture. The loyalty you feel to the food that’s been a part of your life for many years makes it difficult to break the pattern. It can even lead to tensions and conflicts in your relationship. Something that one Redditor knows from personal experience.
As the woman detailed in her AITA confession, her husband only eats his mom’s cooking and keeps turning down every meal she tries to prepare for him: “No thanks, I prefer mom’s food”. Feeling frustrated with this behavior, she decided to trick him into trying out her own version of the meal. But guess if the man was happy? Scroll down to read the full story and the responses where readers determine if she did anything wrong. Then be sure to let us know what you think of the whole ordeal in the comments!
After feeling frustrated with her husband rejecting every meal she makes, this woman tricked him into thinking her cooking was actually his mother’s
Image credits: Live on Shot (not the actual photo)
Unsure of what to think of his reaction, she reached out to the internet for advice
Image credits: SenuScape (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Throwaway5756346
After reading the story, the members of the AITA community seemed to have more questions than answers. Some expressed support for the woman and voiced concerns about her family dynamics. Most commenters considered the husband as a mama’s boy who seems to place his relationship with his mother ahead of his wife. Other users determined that both parties were at fault and that everyone needed to share responsibility for the situation.
Everyone has felt tension when trying to get along with in-laws, so the story deeply resonated with many people. After all, your partner’s strong connection with their parents may be something that wins you over at first. But once you settle into your daily routines, witnessing how your mother-in-law becomes the highest priority can obviously burden the relationship.
“As tribal creatures, we hope to be accepted by our ‘new tribe’, and typically, we have already encountered various family dynamics, such as controlling parents, those who believe no one is ever good enough for their kids, even groups who are outright judgmental,” relationship coach Marta, the founder of MyCoachMarta, told Bored Panda in a previous interview. “We hope for the best while preparing for the worst.”
“We want to, of course, get on with our in-laws, and simultaneously we’re discovering the dynamics our partner grew up with. There’s no escaping the fact that those dynamics affect how they show up in relationships. As much as we want to be welcomed and accepted by the family, we are also observing and using our filters to determine whether this tribe is similar to our own; and if there’s anything they passed on to our partner we don’t quite like.”
But we humans have a tendency to look past our partner’s negative behaviors in hopes they will change as time goes on. But for this to work and for happiness to grow in the relationship, both people must be willing to change and act in ways that improve their partner’s life. And communication is key, so the best move is to start a calm conversation with your spouse about what you expect from your partnership. It may take time, but striving to find balance will bring its benefits.
However, conflicts like this might be more common than you think. According to a poll by Food Network UK, over half of the men surveyed prefer their mother’s cooking over their partner’s. The main reason — mom’s dishes are “more hearty and traditional.”
“As adults, men still seek the comfort and tradition of the cooking they have grown up with so they turn to their mums for what they perceive as a ‘proper meal,'” Nick Thorogood, a spokesman for Food Network UK, said in a news release.
But this doesn’t come without a cost. The pressure for their partners to live up to their mother-in-law’s cooking standards affects the relationship. Three-quarters of the respondents revealed that competition between their partners and mothers has sparked a conflict at some point in their marriage.
Well, we’re curious to hear your thoughts on this matter below. Do you think the woman’s actions are justified and the man acted inappropriately? Or was she wrong to use deceit and trick her husband into trying her food, something he has refused to do for years? Feel free to share your thoughts with us in the comments!
Some readers have sided with the wife, reassuring her that she’s not in the wrong in this situation
And others expressed that both parties were at fault, here’s what they had to say
Why on Earth do so many people think their prospective partner's hang ups/quirks/shitty behaviour will suddenly change just because they get married? Have some adult conversations about that sort of s**t before you get married, and hold off any ceremony until change has actually taken place, not just hinted at or promised.
I feel like a lot of people attribute much too much of a significance to marriage. A marriage ceremony is commemorative, if anything: if the relationship sucked before you signed a piece of paper, it's gonna continue to suck afterwards, only you'll be legally tied to the other person.
Load More Replies...
Send this manchild back to his mommy and get a divorce. It's ridiculous.
Exactly. I was under the impression that it was illegal to marry a child. She should be happy she's not in jail.
Load More Replies...
This woman is crazy. FIVE months and her husband eats only mommy food. She isn't in a marriage, her husband and his mother are, she is the piece on the side. She needs to RUN.
I really need to read comments before making my own. 🤦♀️ But I had the same thoughta
Load More Replies...
I’m really curious what culture OP is from. Damn - that’s some sh*t
I was wondering the same but then realized manchilds can come from any culture /country.
Load More Replies...
I wonder if he is willing to eat anything other than Mom's cooking. At restaurants, parties, work events, get together, what have you. Eating is such an integral part of living and socializing that if he will only eat mommy food she should have seen it long before things got serious. If it's only her food he won't eat, I could see how that could be hidden until after the wedding and likely a marriage breaker. Any way you look at this, even if this is a manifestation of a mental health issue, this marriage is in trouble. Whether it's worth trying to save is in details we don't have.
she needs a divorce asap. I'm a way better cook than my MIL but my husband thinks her food is great b/c it was what he was used to. Her food is overcooked and tasteless. But she makes it with love so we eat it. When she first ate my food, she was so surprised at how good it was...b/c I use herbs and spices. She thought she didn't like "spicy" food but she was just afraid of all spices. She took seconds so often when they stayed with us. She gained 6 pounds in 3 weeks. Her doctor was thrilled. She is near the end of her life and I will miss her so much. best MIL ever!
My ex did eat my food, but his mom's food was zillion times better. Well he was not wrong. I'm Dutch and raised with cooked potatoes, cooked vegetables and a piece of cheese or brown beans. I learned a delicious vegetarian recipe as a student with mashed potatoes, pineapple, vegs, raisins, curry and of course a load of cheese in the oven. Yum. Not his taste. His mom could easily cook for an Indonesian restaurant and they're meat eaters. So I'm not easily offended. We both went to his mom a lot. She always made extra, in case someone would visit. His 2 brothers also have Dutch wives, who don't care about cooking. LOL I asked one if she also cooked Indonesian for her husband. She says: What? No of course not. I'm not nuts. So and his sister could cook, but also liked a break and all the time all those lazy kids with partners and kids would drop by at dinner time and kept eating, until one day his mom was sick and tired of it and kicked em all out LOL.
He needs to grow tf up, she cooks for him and he refuses to try it and goes to his mommy. He's a serious man child he needs to stay with his mommy
Wonder if it's from some Asian country where arranged marriages still happen... so maybe she dint really know the guy before they were married?
This!! This seems to be the only reasonable explanation to this strangeness.
Load More Replies... I know the relationships in the AITA threads are extreme outliers in human behaviour, but seriously, who marries into this?
So once his mom passes, is he just going to starve? This whole situation is SO weird.
Did he have food poisoning once from eating someone else's cooking and his mom convinced him that he could only trust her cooking? I can't think of any other reason why he'd think his wife's food is untrustworthy. Anyway, he's a weirdo manbaby, which is fine if that's what you want in a spouse, though why would you?
OP you sound like an awesome cook. Instead of getting praised for it, you feel like an AH? That ain't right. Divorce this man child and let his mother marry him like they seem to want!
What does he intend to do when his mother dies? Starve to death? Tell him to grow TF up.
I just have three words for this woman: GET OUT NOW. My stepfather was a terrible mama's boy and it did not get better. He prioritized her over my mom for their entire 30-year marriage.
He's the a*****e. Run, don't walk, from this marriage. This guy is an emotionally abusive jerk. This is not going to get better, only worse. He has an F-D up relationship with his mother and is using it to make you feel worthless.
I don't understand fussy eaters. Personally I welcome change and am very willing to try new things. Even IF I absolutely loved one persons, countries, restaurants etc food I would feel like I'm missing out if I didn't try others. Like I have my favourite Indian restaurant I use but I still try others, or new ones, when they open once in a while. This mans fixation on his mothers cooking seems weird to me (hopefully the fixation ends at food). Surely there's compromise that can be made. Stick to mothers cooking on week days and try other stuff at weekends? Throwing a tantrum because he was tricked seems silly to me. Don't think anyone I know would react the way he did.
This marriage is doomed. He's an immature a-whole, but there's no fixing him.
He should've married his mom since he clearly can't live without mom's food.
I hope this guy has like a gazillion dollars, because i can't see any other reason for her to put up with his s***.
I would treat him like the man-child he is … you don’t eat my cooking, then you don’t eat … go forage elsewhere …
Is OP's husband 14? Like seriously. My first boyfriend was like this and we were 14. Ok. Actually, no. I'd cook for him, he'd eat it and give me an in-depth analysis of why his mom's food is better. But then his absolutely brilliant parents told him to go eff himself and ate all the cookies I baked for him and called my mom to compliment my cookies. God, I loved his parents more than I loved him.
If I ever denied eating, in entirety, something my wife made for me, if favor of waiting for my mom's food, I would have either had an evening of consoling a hurt wife, or if I failed I would have been kicked out of the house. I don't understand what cultural issues were going on or if this was an arranged marriage, but this story is so far outside of reality for me, I can't understand. Why doesn't the wife just say eat my food or you can go back to your mommy full time!
She should not have married him. This is 100% her fault for expecting him to change after marriage. If he isn't your food before marriage, he isn't going to suddenly start doing so after you marry. ESH, but Op is the bigger AH for even marrying that guy. Fortunately, she can remedy that by ending the marriage and finding someone normal that isn't a momma's boy.
I think all y'all are weird. OP for putting up with it, husband for being a adult child and his mom who promotes and supports his abnormal behavior. Get help.
Unless he has some kind of food allergies that he or the in laws didn't disclose beforehand, he has no excuse for this behavior in the slightest.
If she's from a Western culture she definitely needs to divorce him or have the marriage annulled. This will only get worse with time. I don't know much about other cultures, but if she's from a place where divorce is heavily stigmatized, she could maybe try asking her mother in law for help. She could tell her that she still wants her husband to see them regularly but she wants to be able to do the things she needs to in order to care for her family. I don't suggest that for Western culture because if mama hasn't already stopped this she's not behaving normally, and there's not a significant stigma attached to divorce anymore unless you're deep in zealot territory.
I am really tired of these idiotic „picky eaters“. Also in real life I have a very low tolerance of that
He's the a*****e. Run, don't walk from this marriage. This guy is a creepy, emotionally abusive jerk. And he has an F-D up relationship with his mother that he uses against you.
She is dumb for marrying such a dummy. Personally I would NEVER put up with this kind of behavior. Also, idc who your partner is or how good their cooking is. If someone goes out of their way to make you a meal with love, you eat it and say thank you. Even if it's the nastiest thing you ever tasted. You just suck it up, eat as much as you can possibly stand and say thank you honey it was absolutely delicious. You can even add that it isn't your favorite kind of meal but even being something you dislike, you say it was good for being what it is. And you say thank you again. Then after all is said and done, if you are still hungry make something for yourself, just say you wanted a snack and offer some to your partner too. There you will find a happy marriage.
Wow, what an a**hole!! Divorce that f***** as soon as possible because he's not gonna change.
This should have come up way before a marriage happened. I can kind of understand his feeling about not wanting to eat food that 'he doesn't know where it came from.' because I won't eat chilli unless it's made by someone I personally know, and know well. Something about how anything at all could be in it bothers me. But this guy ... Op should have figured out he was weird about food long ago. And if she was so hell bent on getting him to try her food, maybe she should have talked to MIL and asked to cook with her on the weekends, since she said he eats 3 meals there, that probably means more than one opportunity to cook anything at all for the meal. AH husband sees wife cooking with mom and might be more inclined to not be a d**k.
Why, why, WHY would any sane person marry such a manchild? Was she forced to do it?!
Wise words that I heard in the 80s when I married. "Don't marry a man thinking he can change, don't marry a woman thinking she will stay the same" Technically, it could apply in both directions. Go to counseling, and encourage him to go along at some point, should it get there at all. You may have found prior to that if the relationship is worth it. If it is truly toxic and unchangeable, you have a 'built in closure'. You can put a period and move on without wondering could it become better. For some folks who didn't try, they get stuck in 'yak' and can't see a way forward. A good counselor lets you see there is 'yak' to begin with.
ESH. He needs to get therapy for whatever the underlying cause is instead of forcing others to accommodate him without reason, the mum shouldn't enable it especially at his age when he has options and won't starve without her food, the wife shouldn't have lied to him cause she knew it'd be an issue that would upset him.
Wife didn't lie. He asked if his mom's meal was delivered and she said yes. She gave him a plate of food. She didn't say here is that plate of your mom's food. He didn't ask if that plate was the food sent from his mom. He just ate it. No lies just omitting the truth.
Load More Replies...
He doesn't entertain the notion that his refusal to eat his wife's food without any explanation might hurt her feelings. Having an eating disorder doesn't give you the right to treat other people like their feelings are less important than yours.
Load More Replies...
...did...did you make a new account just to say this? How weird!
Load More Replies... Why on Earth do so many people think their prospective partner's hang ups/quirks/shitty behaviour will suddenly change just because they get married? Have some adult conversations about that sort of s**t before you get married, and hold off any ceremony until change has actually taken place, not just hinted at or promised.
I feel like a lot of people attribute much too much of a significance to marriage. A marriage ceremony is commemorative, if anything: if the relationship sucked before you signed a piece of paper, it's gonna continue to suck afterwards, only you'll be legally tied to the other person.
Load More Replies... Send this manchild back to his mommy and get a divorce. It's ridiculous.
Exactly. I was under the impression that it was illegal to marry a child. She should be happy she's not in jail.
Load More Replies... This woman is crazy. FIVE months and her husband eats only mommy food. She isn't in a marriage, her husband and his mother are, she is the piece on the side. She needs to RUN.
I really need to read comments before making my own. 🤦♀️ But I had the same thoughta
Load More Replies... I’m really curious what culture OP is from. Damn - that’s some sh*t
I was wondering the same but then realized manchilds can come from any culture /country.
Load More Replies... I wonder if he is willing to eat anything other than Mom's cooking. At restaurants, parties, work events, get together, what have you. Eating is such an integral part of living and socializing that if he will only eat mommy food she should have seen it long before things got serious. If it's only her food he won't eat, I could see how that could be hidden until after the wedding and likely a marriage breaker. Any way you look at this, even if this is a manifestation of a mental health issue, this marriage is in trouble. Whether it's worth trying to save is in details we don't have.
she needs a divorce asap. I'm a way better cook than my MIL but my husband thinks her food is great b/c it was what he was used to. Her food is overcooked and tasteless. But she makes it with love so we eat it. When she first ate my food, she was so surprised at how good it was...b/c I use herbs and spices. She thought she didn't like "spicy" food but she was just afraid of all spices. She took seconds so often when they stayed with us. She gained 6 pounds in 3 weeks. Her doctor was thrilled. She is near the end of her life and I will miss her so much. best MIL ever!
My ex did eat my food, but his mom's food was zillion times better. Well he was not wrong. I'm Dutch and raised with cooked potatoes, cooked vegetables and a piece of cheese or brown beans. I learned a delicious vegetarian recipe as a student with mashed potatoes, pineapple, vegs, raisins, curry and of course a load of cheese in the oven. Yum. Not his taste. His mom could easily cook for an Indonesian restaurant and they're meat eaters. So I'm not easily offended. We both went to his mom a lot. She always made extra, in case someone would visit. His 2 brothers also have Dutch wives, who don't care about cooking. LOL I asked one if she also cooked Indonesian for her husband. She says: What? No of course not. I'm not nuts. So and his sister could cook, but also liked a break and all the time all those lazy kids with partners and kids would drop by at dinner time and kept eating, until one day his mom was sick and tired of it and kicked em all out LOL.
He needs to grow tf up, she cooks for him and he refuses to try it and goes to his mommy. He's a serious man child he needs to stay with his mommy
Wonder if it's from some Asian country where arranged marriages still happen... so maybe she dint really know the guy before they were married?
This!! This seems to be the only reasonable explanation to this strangeness.
Load More Replies... I know the relationships in the AITA threads are extreme outliers in human behaviour, but seriously, who marries into this?
So once his mom passes, is he just going to starve? This whole situation is SO weird.
Did he have food poisoning once from eating someone else's cooking and his mom convinced him that he could only trust her cooking? I can't think of any other reason why he'd think his wife's food is untrustworthy. Anyway, he's a weirdo manbaby, which is fine if that's what you want in a spouse, though why would you?
OP you sound like an awesome cook. Instead of getting praised for it, you feel like an AH? That ain't right. Divorce this man child and let his mother marry him like they seem to want!
What does he intend to do when his mother dies? Starve to death? Tell him to grow TF up.
I just have three words for this woman: GET OUT NOW. My stepfather was a terrible mama's boy and it did not get better. He prioritized her over my mom for their entire 30-year marriage.
He's the a*****e. Run, don't walk, from this marriage. This guy is an emotionally abusive jerk. This is not going to get better, only worse. He has an F-D up relationship with his mother and is using it to make you feel worthless.
I don't understand fussy eaters. Personally I welcome change and am very willing to try new things. Even IF I absolutely loved one persons, countries, restaurants etc food I would feel like I'm missing out if I didn't try others. Like I have my favourite Indian restaurant I use but I still try others, or new ones, when they open once in a while. This mans fixation on his mothers cooking seems weird to me (hopefully the fixation ends at food). Surely there's compromise that can be made. Stick to mothers cooking on week days and try other stuff at weekends? Throwing a tantrum because he was tricked seems silly to me. Don't think anyone I know would react the way he did.
This marriage is doomed. He's an immature a-whole, but there's no fixing him.
He should've married his mom since he clearly can't live without mom's food.
I hope this guy has like a gazillion dollars, because i can't see any other reason for her to put up with his s***.
I would treat him like the man-child he is … you don’t eat my cooking, then you don’t eat … go forage elsewhere …
Is OP's husband 14? Like seriously. My first boyfriend was like this and we were 14. Ok. Actually, no. I'd cook for him, he'd eat it and give me an in-depth analysis of why his mom's food is better. But then his absolutely brilliant parents told him to go eff himself and ate all the cookies I baked for him and called my mom to compliment my cookies. God, I loved his parents more than I loved him.
If I ever denied eating, in entirety, something my wife made for me, if favor of waiting for my mom's food, I would have either had an evening of consoling a hurt wife, or if I failed I would have been kicked out of the house. I don't understand what cultural issues were going on or if this was an arranged marriage, but this story is so far outside of reality for me, I can't understand. Why doesn't the wife just say eat my food or you can go back to your mommy full time!
She should not have married him. This is 100% her fault for expecting him to change after marriage. If he isn't your food before marriage, he isn't going to suddenly start doing so after you marry. ESH, but Op is the bigger AH for even marrying that guy. Fortunately, she can remedy that by ending the marriage and finding someone normal that isn't a momma's boy.
I think all y'all are weird. OP for putting up with it, husband for being a adult child and his mom who promotes and supports his abnormal behavior. Get help.
Unless he has some kind of food allergies that he or the in laws didn't disclose beforehand, he has no excuse for this behavior in the slightest.
If she's from a Western culture she definitely needs to divorce him or have the marriage annulled. This will only get worse with time. I don't know much about other cultures, but if she's from a place where divorce is heavily stigmatized, she could maybe try asking her mother in law for help. She could tell her that she still wants her husband to see them regularly but she wants to be able to do the things she needs to in order to care for her family. I don't suggest that for Western culture because if mama hasn't already stopped this she's not behaving normally, and there's not a significant stigma attached to divorce anymore unless you're deep in zealot territory.
I am really tired of these idiotic „picky eaters“. Also in real life I have a very low tolerance of that
He's the a*****e. Run, don't walk from this marriage. This guy is a creepy, emotionally abusive jerk. And he has an F-D up relationship with his mother that he uses against you.
She is dumb for marrying such a dummy. Personally I would NEVER put up with this kind of behavior. Also, idc who your partner is or how good their cooking is. If someone goes out of their way to make you a meal with love, you eat it and say thank you. Even if it's the nastiest thing you ever tasted. You just suck it up, eat as much as you can possibly stand and say thank you honey it was absolutely delicious. You can even add that it isn't your favorite kind of meal but even being something you dislike, you say it was good for being what it is. And you say thank you again. Then after all is said and done, if you are still hungry make something for yourself, just say you wanted a snack and offer some to your partner too. There you will find a happy marriage.
Wow, what an a**hole!! Divorce that f***** as soon as possible because he's not gonna change.
This should have come up way before a marriage happened. I can kind of understand his feeling about not wanting to eat food that 'he doesn't know where it came from.' because I won't eat chilli unless it's made by someone I personally know, and know well. Something about how anything at all could be in it bothers me. But this guy ... Op should have figured out he was weird about food long ago. And if she was so hell bent on getting him to try her food, maybe she should have talked to MIL and asked to cook with her on the weekends, since she said he eats 3 meals there, that probably means more than one opportunity to cook anything at all for the meal. AH husband sees wife cooking with mom and might be more inclined to not be a d**k.
Why, why, WHY would any sane person marry such a manchild? Was she forced to do it?!
Wise words that I heard in the 80s when I married. "Don't marry a man thinking he can change, don't marry a woman thinking she will stay the same" Technically, it could apply in both directions. Go to counseling, and encourage him to go along at some point, should it get there at all. You may have found prior to that if the relationship is worth it. If it is truly toxic and unchangeable, you have a 'built in closure'. You can put a period and move on without wondering could it become better. For some folks who didn't try, they get stuck in 'yak' and can't see a way forward. A good counselor lets you see there is 'yak' to begin with.
ESH. He needs to get therapy for whatever the underlying cause is instead of forcing others to accommodate him without reason, the mum shouldn't enable it especially at his age when he has options and won't starve without her food, the wife shouldn't have lied to him cause she knew it'd be an issue that would upset him.
Wife didn't lie. He asked if his mom's meal was delivered and she said yes. She gave him a plate of food. She didn't say here is that plate of your mom's food. He didn't ask if that plate was the food sent from his mom. He just ate it. No lies just omitting the truth.
Load More Replies... He doesn't entertain the notion that his refusal to eat his wife's food without any explanation might hurt her feelings. Having an eating disorder doesn't give you the right to treat other people like their feelings are less important than yours.
Load More Replies... ...did...did you make a new account just to say this? How weird!
Load More Replies...
109
85