You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here’re 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity
When you hear the word ‘toxic,’ odds are, your mind’s bound to add the word ‘masculinity’ on top. Most of us have heard about toxic masculinity and the issues it poses to men, women, and society as a whole in quite some depth. However, a topic that’s addressed far more rarely is toxic femininity.
The mirror image to toxic masculinity, toxic femininity deals with the perception that some women have about how other women 'should' behave and what makes a ‘real’ woman. Redditors have been going into detail about what exactly constitutes toxic femininity and how some women express it. Have a read through their responses to redditor VysX_’s viral thread and let us know which of these examples you agree and disagree with. Have you noticed any of these in real life? Share your thoughts with all the other Pandas in the comments.
Nancy Doyle, writing for Forbes, explains that she’s seen toxic femininity described in a variety of ways. Including backstabbing, failing to support other women in their success, and also as a potential “tool of the patriarchy to undermine femininity.”
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Women who think other women that enjoy cooking, child rearing, and homemaking are perpetuating stereotyped gender roles enforced by the patriarchy.
Tearing other women down because what they enjoy doesn’t fit into the tiny box of what YOUR version of feminism should be is toxic femininity to the max.
True feminism is giving everybody the choice to live the life they want, regardless of gender or stereotypes.
Branding unattractive guys as “creeps” for the same behaviour that attractive guys get away with and even rewarded for.
It’s when a woman assaults a man first and when the man retaliates, the woman acts like she’s the victim saying “you can’t hit a woman”. You hit him first Ma’am. You’re not absolve to any of your wrongdoings just because of your gender
According to Doyle from Forbes, in the workplace, toxic femininity is akin to passive aggression. “It’s when we allow relationships and productivity to suffer because we’re not being honest about our own objectives, or when we are assuming we know best with a ‘caring’ face. It's being a ‘Karen’ and it's not a step forward from patriarchal systems of control. It might not involve yelling, but it’s still manipulating other people,” she explains.
“The answer to centuries of toxic masculinity is not a new era of toxic femininity, it is leadership and membership behaviors and skills that are, frankly, beyond gender and appropriately contextualized.”
Thinking men can't be abused by a woman
“Breast is best” “Women who have C-sections aren’t real mothers” “Real women have curves” “I’m not like other girls” Etc
My wife had a c-section and our daughter and my wife couldn't take to breastfeeding, and people would make comments about how natural birth and breastfeeding makes real bonds. This hurt my wife, caused some early depression and made her worry about the bond with our daughter, but this really has had no impact on their relationship. My wife now gets angry because of the stupidity of the people saying this and the snobbiness of these fools.
My ex-husband and I separated when our child was 2. Went to a birthday party for daughter's friend and was having a casual conversation with one of the husbands. The group of women stood in a corner staring at me, and the wife came up and grabbed him by the arm and started doing that strange possessive peacock dance.
What were we talking about? Real estate prices.
Doyle notes that communication and honesty can help move past both toxic femininity and masculinity. “Instead of rescuing, ask people what they would like to have happen and give them the tools to do it themselves. Instead of being a victim, state clearly what you would like to have happen and police your own boundaries. And instead of persecuting, check your assumptions and instead notice the pattern or process that needs fixing, not the people.”
Meanwhile, here’s a refresher about toxic femininity’s partner in crime, toxic masculinity. Psychotherapist Silva Neves told me earlier that toxic masculinity is a general attitude perpetuated by systemic misogyny, as well as a set of distorted ideas about what men should be like.
Some of these ideas include not showing vulnerability, striving to always be winners, and not being weak or soft.
Probably the whole “I’m not like other girls” thing. What’s wrong with other girls? You can value yourself without [stepping] on others.
Toxic feminism to me is hating ALL men. Not all men are the same. Those kind of girls make it a point to spread that hate and make it a big movement. I understand everyone has had their experiences with men who have hurt them, but to spread such hate and make it their personality?? Not cool.
“Men with toxic masculinity usually have negative views towards women's rights (including their rights to the freedom of their own sexuality) and they tend to be homophobic,” Silva told Bored Panda.
“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women,” the expert continued.
According to Silva, healthy masculinity means that an individual “embraces gender, sex, and relationship diversities including gay men and transgender people. Someone who is comfortable with their opinions to be challenged and able to have debates.”
Mother who treat other people [poorly] and then justify it by saying they're a mama bear
When we s**t all over men and boys, while calling it "Modern Feminism". We don't have to deconstruct and destroy everything masculine just for women to be equal. That is literally the opposite of equality and should be offensive to everyone.
Being pressured to have children. Women can be incredibly toxic when they find out that someone made a different choice regarding procreation. Personally I think mothers that hate on childless women regret their choice to have children and lash out at those they secretly envy for their (perceived) freedom.
Some women are so judgemental about other women, particularly when it comes to looks or fashion.
Also the women who seem to enjoy forming cliques and cutting out anyone they deem to be an outsider.
Worked with an office full of them once. It really sucked!
So glad I have met few like this. Bitchiest person I know is my brother in law,
Harassing/Calling police on fathers(or other legit male caregivers) minding their own business bringing their kids to a public park.
OMG I can soooo relate to that being a single dad to two daughters... I understand and appreciate social awareness and so on, but single mum with two sons will not meet with the problems I deal with. And honestly, people who think it's shady for a guy to live alone with two teen daughters are real pervs. I mean s**t, they're my kids, what's in your head? This is not solely a toxic feminity thoug, applies to men as well.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
Sorry - that's not how life works.
Probably the culture around eating.
When I was 17-18, a few friends kept saying how much more attractive I’d be if I lost weight, how that’s why most guys weren’t into me, how I’d regret not being skinny in college, etc. My BMI was slightly under 25, so I wasn’t overweight, but I was close to it, especially compared to them.
So I basically became anorexic from 18-20 just because the feedback was like a high. I recovered, but not enough to make my mom and others happy, even though my BMI was 22-23. This continued for years between friends and family, and it was exhausting cycling between being too skinny or not average enough.
That’s really the only strong example I can think of. No matter the trendy body shape, the criticism from others will always continue. I’ve only had one guy ever comment on my weight compared to the many, many women, even strangers
Funny, only people who have commented on my weight recently were men. Wrong whoever does it.
A girl in the grade below me (I’m a senior in high school at this point) passed away unexpectedly due to sepsis. Our whole city was in shock as the girl was in the school just days before her passing.
I remember I met up with my gf at the time & she asked, “Why do so many people care about her dying? It’s not like she was pretty anyways.”
This was the type of girl that says, “What??!! I am SOOO nice.”
Safe to say, the lord blessed me with a brain and I GTFO’D that relationship.
To this day, she is still in contact with me & recently she complained that guys use her & she can’t figure out why nobody will be with her.
Well honey, I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that one out.
That's just f****d up. Guess I shouldn't expect anyone to care when I die then coz I am far from pretty lol. Such a stupid thing to say.
Putting other women down for liking girly things and not wanting to be CEOs etc.
Ages ago a woman I knew commented on an news article about women who love to wear mermaid tails and go swimming with it. She said women should aim to be CEOs and not mermaids.
I happened to have one of those tails and love mermaids. I’m 37 now and still do! Doesn’t mean I am stupid or aim low. I don’t want to be a CEO, it’s not who I am.
The divorce playbook. First you kick your husband out of his own house. Then you go to a judge and claim that you are afraid of you spouse and get a PFA. Then you go to family court as the poor helpless woman and take every dime he has then s**t talk him to his own kids. Mine was more amicable than that but I have seen it happen to more than one guy.
I've no doubt that this is something that some spiteful and resentful women do. However, I'm also aware that narcissistic abusers (of either gender) will also say this exact same thing when they are actually the one in the wrong, as that it basically their MO. Having been through a couple of victim survivor programmes for abused women myself, I've seen far too many wonderful, abuse-survivors being slated like this by their exes. Women who are like this post also make it worse for those who aren't but are being portrayed as being so by their abusers. Hope I make sense
Thank you. As a woman that got dragged through Court by her Ex, I am here to tell you that there are women that get a really raw deal too.
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Oh boy. I got ripped apart by a woman judge at my divorce because "although your wife expressed some aggressive behaviour it was mainly verbal and you could have stood up to this". Then the fight for custody, lost because I'm a guy and the kids are girls, so they need mum more. Half year later ex waive the custody to me, I file for allimony and get the lowest possible, even though I live in a rented 2-bedroom apartment while my ex keeps the house. Why? Because I'm a guy, so I should be OK. Ex-wife sells the house moves out with new BF - I have no problem with that - leave work, spends money from the house on him and herself and barely sees the kids. I file for higher alimony, but the judge feels this is wrong, because I work and she doesn't.
Sorry you had to go through all that crap. The courts certainly tend to side with the women. My husband went through some similar hell after his divorce. Not fair at all.
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When my husband and I got divorced, it was a mutual agreement. We even used the same lawyer because we only needed someone to do the legal stuff. I left him the house but took the furniture. I only asked for a one-time lump sum payment, instead of continuous maintenance payments. That lump sum was to help with the down payment on my new house in another state. He thought he was getting a raw deal until the lawyer explained to him what I was actually entitled to but not asking for. I only wanted to part ways and live my own life, and let him do the same. We're still friends. In fact, we get along better now that we don't live with each other than we did when we were married.
I knew a guy one time who was going through something like this. He had actually been jailed at one point for abuse allegations. The thing is, he was able to put together legal documents that showed she had done the exact same thing - verbatim in places to her previous husband.
I genuinely needed a protection order against my abusive ex. He sabotaged my vehicle to the point it almost blew up on me, shut utilities off in my house in the middle of winter with his children in the house no less, stalked me, destroyed my reputation, etc... I couldn't get a protection order because I needed to be physically abused despite proof of his abuse otherwise. He was physically abusive when we were still together mind you. The police never did anything about it when they were called except take him a few blocks away to "cool down". I definitely got it later when he came back. These manipulators make me sick.
Downvoted by women in denial. It does happen ladies. . .a lot. Your downvotes won't make it not be true
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This is something that happens in rich countries which are in minority, mostly women pull the short end of the stick in divorce. At least in my country. And this trope is so misused to judge women as "getting everything in life easily" when that is really not the case.
In my country (not a rich country) guys get screwed over almost all the time.
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Ohhhh I have also seen it happen to plenty of women. This post alone is toxic femininity because it happens both ways.
i worked in a court house. most guys there wouldnt get married or have kids after seeing the THOUSANDS of dollars a month and house and car women would get. like living off the govt, you have no incentive to not be useless when your being paid a years salary per month to sit on your ass.
100% this, when my ex and I got divorced so many people were telling me to set all his stuff on fire and lie and make sure I got the most out of him. Like all I wanted was for me and my kid to get away from him. I wasn't interested in revenge. People that carry that stuff around and do these kind of things are the worst. It's been 6 years and I have never once done, or wished anything bad on him. It's really freeing acting like a sane adult!
The first rule of divorce is you don't talk crap to the kids about the other one. No matter what they did to you, your ex is still their parent and a role model. Its fine to answer questions or alleviate kids fears but there's a big difference between "daddy was drinking yesterday and made a decision that hurt himself and others" and "your dad is useless #*$%& drunk who should be locked away forever". Even worse is "you can't have ice cream because mommy refuses to pay child support". You just made a fight between the two of you into a child feeling unloved and abandoned.
I work for a divorce lawyer and it is frightening how often this happens.
That's the awful-person version, yes. I've seen the much more tragic side of divorce: where a genuinely abused spouse refused to get a divorce because she thought she could "fix" him. She couldn't; he tried to kill her. And it took all 3 of her kids telling her so for her to finally admit that he was beyond redemption.
So I realized the reason my mother wanted a divorces, 5 years later. So she divorced him in late spring, we move to NY in the mid summer, she had a boyfriend who moved in IMMEDIATELY. He was a coder (really overprotective of his computer) and an old friend to my mom. He was not a father figure though, he got mad when I had to move his computer from the dinner table for dinner. Multiple times he said I was useless and that what I did wasn't helpful to my family. He would sit at the dinner table all day, and then he would leave the house at dinner time to have a meal at a restaurant without anyone else. And I would move his computer so nothing happened to it.
And this is why you have no-fault divorce and split everything 50-50 regardless. Then noone can abuse the system
The oily thing that saved me during my divorce (I got full custody of my kids) was I didn't play the "he said she said" game. Told the Judge and guardian ad Litem to "just talk to my kids, they'll tell you what's going on". Judge kicked her out of the house the next day. I am one of the rare males I know of who got custody of their kids. even when a mother is clearly not fit, they more than likely get custody. In her divorce filing, you wouldn't believe the outrageous s**t she accused me of... Thank God my kids told the truth or who knows what their lives would be like today.
On the note of divorce, if a married guy tried to hook up with you on a dating app, and you found out he's married after, is it toxic femininity to not let the wife know? Should women be telling on their cheating husbands? As a wife would you want to know?
The worst of this is that there are cases where this stuff is real, when there is domestic and monetary abuse and violence. Then shitty ex partners or both of them start inventing s**t that end putting the real cases in doubt. Here in chile, when theres a case of domestic abuse, they give the guy a restraining order, that protects u as much as a school toilet paper from a bullet, and in the worst cases, the woman end up mutilated or dead
It happened to me. My mistake was lowering myself to her level to cope with her abuse, making her entitled to feel she was the victim, and putting our daughter in between. I should have been smarter back then, but considering how mentally unbalanced she is, she would have found any excuse to seoarate me from my daughter.
My Stepdad, who is a truly lovely man, left his divorce with two suitcases and a motorbike. I kid you not. His ex wife claimed emotional damage so severe that she couldn't possibly work full time and he had to KEEP PAYING HER AN ALLOWANCE to top up her wages - even though she'd taken the house, everything... She claimed it was distressing the children... Who were 27 and 25 at the time... Man the list goes on
The divorce courts favour the non working partner, who is usually female. Divorce should be 50-50, but never is. UK courts are the worst, there is no justice there at all for men, which is why women from all over the world want to get divorced in the UK.
i remember when my grand,a wanted to leave her drunk abusive husband that threw her down the stairs. the priest came by to tell her to be a better wife. it was so bad he went to court for her. some men actually do better.then her second husband. wanted it all and used video rentals weekly to fire ammunition of see she deserves nothing. the judge replied. all you do is vdeos. you never take her out or on vacation... she got 60%. be a d**k. pay dearly.
Or you can do what I did. I left with the clothes on my back and went to my parent's house and started over my life. Completely. No spousal support, no nothing.
The stats on fake reports about abuse or rape clearly state, that they occur AS OFTEN as fake of any other crime, like insurance fraud, etc. Would you immediately doubt a victim who claims to have been robbed? No? Then don't say fake reports about domestic violence happen often, either!
I can sort of relate. There were no allegations of abuse in my case, but it wasn't fair. I thought things were going well up until the day she said she was leaving. 2 weeks later I learned that she'd moved in with the guy she was cheating on me with, who owns several businesses, nice house, cottage; clearly a wealthier guy. Result of the divorce was that I had to surrender a hefty portion of my retirement savings, half the equity in the house I owned, and pay her $500 a month for three years or until she re-marries - whichever comes first. She got re-married a month after the 3 years was up.
This is a sad story my husband told me happened when he was young, every thing to the tee
you left out the part about how the 50-50 property split turns into 60-40 or 75-25 with the woman taking the majority... divorce is expensive...
My biological grandmother had to divorce my grandfather because he was cheating on her. My grandfather got everything: the house, the kids. Mind you, this was the late 80s, so maybe things are different now. But my father only met his real mom a few years ago. He's 36.
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Someone's bitter. You've seen it happen to more than one guy? I've seen those same guys be physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive to their wives and kids while everyone in the community and their buddies only have good things to say about them. I grew up in one of those abusive households. My dad was abusive. After things got really bad, we went and got a restraining order, which, btw, they don't just give out because you come in acting like a drama queen, so that's a HUGE red flag right there about what kinds of guys these are. We didn't do family court since my sisters and I were all 16 and older, and my mom wanted nothing from my dad, so she didn't file for alimony. And my sisters and I did enough s**t-talking with each other. My guess is your kids know you're pieces of s**t and don't need any encouragement.
Think it probably varies in different countries - in the UK this is not the case. I know several men through my work who now live in static caravans in order to pay for their wife and children to remain in the family home. I also have a brother who is a family lawyer and he wouldn't agree with you either. I think financially very few benefit when you try and split the same income across two households.
Load More Replies...The kind of lady that believes a man needs to be a provider is toxic. Also women that look down on men that are shorter than them are toxic af.
Yep, I’m the breadwinner in my household due to my husband’s physical disability, woman that think like this brings us back a hundred years
Being shamed for natural functions. I know men do it too (to an extent) but women are more likely, I feel, to judge body hair, wrinkles, grey hairs, etc.
Add burping, farting, even doing poops. Yes women poop, shocking, I know.
As a woman, I have absolutely zero respect for women who use their femininity to get men to do their job for them. The "oh no! I don't know how to do this, can you do it for me" women I have seen at work are pathetic. Even more pathetic are the men who think stepping in and doing a simple task for a lazy female coworker will actually get them anywhere.
I'm a lesbian and I've had plenty of straight women react to this with complete puzzlement. Have I ever TRIED having a boyfriend? Who fixes things around my apartment when they break? Who kills bugs? You know, there ARE good guys out there...
This comment kills me and I'm not gay. The "Have you ever TRIED XXXX" bit. To me, that's the same as asking if I've ever tried dating a guy to know if I was gay or not.
I’ve got a quote from an ex.
“My girlfriend Sandra got a 2 carat diamond ring if I don’t get at least a 4 carat ring I’m literally going to die.”
This is what 4 carrots looks like to me and most men. 4-carrots-...04e6bc.jpg 
Double standards in dating. I hear this a lot personally with my mother,
But if her boyfriend goes somewhere without telling her she freaks out and throws a tantrum (yes, literally). Yet if he asks anything about her then he's a douche trying to control her and cheating.
Funnily enough, my mother has been exposed for cheating twice now. Along with her f**k s**t friend.
Both my hubby and I let/ask each other if or where we are going out of respect, not control. All I ask is the latest he will be home, so if he isn't home by that time I should start to worry and vice versa. Also to make sure neither of us had already made other plans.
The sheer terrifying glee they have at tearing down someone who's made a mistake or is somehow lacking in their eyes. I worked at a doctor's office with a fifty person staff, forty five of which were women. Like they were so fake and catty and just outright hateful to each other. It was a toxic office culture.
I've experienced this too, but what they don't realize is that if they're talking about others with such spitefulness, what's to say they won't be the next one on the 'we dislike list'..
Being a “bad b***h”. You’re just being an a-hole. Idk if there’s a moniker like that for guys but guys do it too, labeling yourself doesn’t excuse being a jerk
Body-shaming, whether overweight or underweight.
I had an old classmate who called me anorexic for a year straight, anytime I tried to stand up for myself I was the bad guy because ‘she just wants to be as thin as you’. I was 21kg at twelve and her calling me anorexic killed.
Destroying personal property "Cause he done did me wrong!!!" and thinking they are going to get away with it, "women's intuition", and pretty much every custody case ever.
I find a small but hardcore of women vastly overestimate their "women's intuition" and think they have a full handle on everyone's state of mind and motives. It often turns out they make completely the wrong assumptions about a situation on very little information. I think this particularly applies to women as popular culture suggests women should all naturally be psychologists, when in reality a proportion are as clueless as the average man.
Note: this post originally had 40 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
The one that really bugs me is womens magazines. They complain about men objectifying women on opinion and letters pages etc then spend the rest of the magazine objectifying hunks in trunks or some similar shite.
People do it on here. Get photos of a man talking about something he's an expert in and coincidentally he's attractive and you can guarantee there is a string of 'he's hot' type remarks. Or even just the 'so pretty' comments in the 'random genetics/unique looks' article up today. Maybe they are but that's not what it's about. Humans are very 'looks' focused. It's a shame but I don't think it's stopping any time soon!
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Most of these aren’t specifically toxic femininity, just generally being a jerk.
Same case for toxic mascullinity - it's just the jerks doing such things
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Some of these are great examples, and some of them suck. An important thing to remember about "toxic femininity" and "toxic masculinity", is that these are NOT just about people who are jerks who happen to be male or female. The terms are about behavior that is considered by society stereotypically "feminine" or "masculine", but taken to an unhealthy level. Also, some of these examples are about aggressive feminists... which is also a different thing (they typically and purposely don't fit the cultural expectation of being feminine at all)
Yeah, I noticed most of these are just "stereotypical bad things some women do but I'm going to call it toxic femininity because I have zero idea what I'm talking about." Absolutely infuriating to watch people continue to conflate feminism with "man hating." I think BP was just forced to do this post because every article about women is drowning in "NOT ALL MEN!" "WHAT ABOUT TOXIC FEMININITY" and the like.
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How about this, a friend's girlfriend decided that her being on the pill is better than his wearing a condom. Tricks him by not taking the pills, gets pregnant, because she always wanted a baby even though my friend said he doesn't want kids and she said the same in the beginning. He gets mad, they split up, he has to pay alimony for the kid.
Men should always wear condom if they don't want children. Always.
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The whole world has gone nuts and it is all amplified with social media. Everyone saying what they think whenever they want. Most of the stuff is total garbage anyway, like don't people have better things to do? The thing that gets me the most is people, who claim to stand pro feminism, anti racisim etc etc go and then do EXACTLY THE THING THEY ARE FIGHTING AGAINST: Hate on men, hate on people of opposite colours etc. Double standards. It doesn't give you the right to be a mong
Being a feminist, e.g., doesn't mean you have the right to bash all men...and I am a woman just fyi.
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I will never understand this need to place meaning onto something then re-package it back into a generalisation which 'neatly' fits a sterotype to denegrate a group. For example, a man explains something to a woman is frowned upon. An older person is automatically a boomer. Women who wear trainers are somehow different to women who wear stilletoes (no idea why). And so on. Why? Because the internet (and the media) says so and now it's become a polarising norm. Seriously... When did humans stopped to think that they are creating the 'pink & blues' of the future? I keep reading about equality (excellent!!!) and then about why aren't we striving for more categories! (eh?) We're spending more time on this planet making up new ways to destroy ourselves and others than realising that we're only here for a finite length of time... We should be light-hearted laughing at how differences instead of sneering at them... Because one day we won't have either option.
I miss the times when bp was about art and beautiful things from the world.Now we see woke bs everyday
One thing that I am surprised that was not mentioned is the sexist idea that still exists that most men dont want to marry/have kids but that a woman has the final saying about it. No. It needs to be 50-50. I know a man who didnt want children but his wife gave him an ultimatum. They had one (also with health issues) and he was suffering because he has some mental illness and having a kid at home was too much. Despite that she insisted on having a second child; not only risking that the baby had also health issues but not caring for her husbands desires and mental health. And on top of that demanded that both kids slept with them every night so he had no rest at all. He ended up having a meltdown and spending some time in a institution. She is a terrible person.
Was this not discussed BEFORE marriage? I know we waited longer than most - but before we got married we knew what we wanted in life and shared it with each other. where we wanted to live to how many kids ( that was changed by health).
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Proving once again that being an utter a** wipe doesn't depend on your gender. We know. Toxic is toxic. Few of these can be specifically tagged to "just women" or "just men" (in other BP posts). Possessive, controlling, abusive, narcissistic, etc..
Toxic masculinity/femininity is not and should not about "just men" or "just women". It is not about "people being an a** wipe". It is about masculinity and femininity. It is about stopping cultural expectations and social acceptance of what is considered "masculine" or "feminine". Technically a tom-boy could easily express "toxic masculinity", and a man could express "toxic femininity". TEACHING a boy to "man up" and repress his emotions is toxic masculinity, and then he grows up with behavior problems because of that. TEACHING a girl to be obsesses with her looks and weight is toxic femininity, and then she grows up to have issues because of that.
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When a feminist says that a man who won't date a bigger girl are @55holes but then turn around and say they won't date a shorter man.
I'm gonna get hate for this, but very few things in this list could qualify as "toxic femininity." What makes Toxic Masculinity "a thing" is that traits that are typically seen as desirable in men are harmful to them and others. It is not seen as a positive "feminine" specific trait to be a "man hater." Not expressing emotions is a toxic "masculine" trait that hurts men while continuing to be seen as positive. These two things are not the same. This entire list just reads as a bitchfest from people who understand neither Toxic Masculinity or false equivallency arguments. Also, feminism has nothing to do with hating men and people who whine about that don't understand it and are usually the kinds of people that make some women hate men (e.g. my sister's ex who cheated on her called me that because I told him to wash his dishes). I realize this comment is probably going to be poorly received, but this article is mislabeled at best, and damaging at worst. Gag.
Thank you, well put! These things are really hard to grasp for so many people. Hopefully your comment helped some.
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Just do what makes you happy without shitting on others!
people who won't acknowledge their own issues but demand apologies for perceived slights not even coming out and saying it, but dropping "hints" like I don't know you are saying it to me. I don't play games like that.
Gender stereotype - if a girl wants to be more masculine it's "good for her, she's an independent woman she needs no man! what a badass!" But if a man wants to be more feminine? "Oh no, he must be gay, how pathetic" like seriously can this gender stereotyping and toxicity just f**k off?
Um.... I'm a tomboy, even at my age, and what I got was a lot of "you must be a lesbian (ruder words used)" or "you must be confused about your identity (but ruder version)" and the "girly girls" in pink/etc. were *horrible* to me. So, no, it's not that way for all of us.
Load More Replies... Yes, major abdominal surgery, especially when it's emergency surgery, is so easy.
Its a little bit interesting how many comments on here say its only men whining or complaining when some of these examples are very much from another woman's perspective (also ones I could relate to)
Talk less, sleep more. That goes for everyone, not just people who perpetuate toxic behaviour.
This entire article, procured by a man, has almost nothing to do with toxic feminism. BP, if you're going to have a man explain a women's issue maybe make sure he understands it enough to not create an anti-women article instead. Nearly every item.on this list was anti-woman. Really missed the mark on this one.
Almost this entire list sounds like men complaining about women who were mean to them.
In my experience, there are (1) nice guys, (2) players, (3) a small number of the sort of "nice guys" the internet complains about because they aren't really nice guys but think acting nice with entitle them to sex, and (4) a few players whose game is to act like nice guys. A "player," here means someone who thinks that the pursuit of sex means all rules of decency, kindness, honesty, and caring about other people go out the window. They each know who they are (except maybe some "nice" guys). What I find shocking is the number of women who think of themselves as good, decent, even devoutly Christian women who lack any sense of empathy, decency, fairness or honesty in dealing with men. I;m often horrified at the way women treat my nice-but-not-'"nice" friends. It's why I tend to defend "I'm not like other women" women, because I've made friends with women (and eventually married one) who were also stunned at the behavior of other women.
A lot of this seems like what those people don't like about women, not so much toxic femininity. Some of it is social customs, and some of it is social scripting. It will take time for those last two to change, as society itself and roles are redefined going forward. But they are beginning to change as the definition of femininity and what it means to be a woman changes.
"why are we expected to be awed when someone with breasts does it?": because the system is stacked against them and they made it anyway. I get it, saying women are better than men is misandry, yes. But pretending females aren't discriminated against is just silly.
Load More Replies... Practise right thought, right speech, right action and right mindfulness. Be mindful to not cause suffering or be the cause of suffering, always. Then the world will be a happier place and most of this type of crap won't happen
Who makes this bull doody up? This is just another post aimed at making people fight each other .
Scrolled down to the bottom to see who put this together. I think I'll take this with a huge grain of salt, Jonas.
Having evolved as scavengers,Primates instinctively seek to acquire resources and status far beyond their needs. This explains a lot of bad behaviors
And yet we have a frontal cortex capable of better, so we don't get the excuse the chimps do.
Load More Replies... Some random sexism/deliberately misunderstanding feminism sneaking in here
This isn't about "women's toxic behavior" it is about "toxic femininity". Sounds the same, but there is a difference.
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ah the good old incelshaming. the female variant of slutshaming. this post surely brought out & triggered some nice specimen. (off course now somebody will start to mention incels is a self chosen name, but guess what, nobody here is calling himself an incel.)
Load More Replies... Oh, f**k you. Men get dumped on here ten times as often as women.
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The one that really bugs me is womens magazines. They complain about men objectifying women on opinion and letters pages etc then spend the rest of the magazine objectifying hunks in trunks or some similar shite.
People do it on here. Get photos of a man talking about something he's an expert in and coincidentally he's attractive and you can guarantee there is a string of 'he's hot' type remarks. Or even just the 'so pretty' comments in the 'random genetics/unique looks' article up today. Maybe they are but that's not what it's about. Humans are very 'looks' focused. It's a shame but I don't think it's stopping any time soon!
Load More Replies... Most of these aren’t specifically toxic femininity, just generally being a jerk.
Same case for toxic mascullinity - it's just the jerks doing such things
Load More Replies... Some of these are great examples, and some of them suck. An important thing to remember about "toxic femininity" and "toxic masculinity", is that these are NOT just about people who are jerks who happen to be male or female. The terms are about behavior that is considered by society stereotypically "feminine" or "masculine", but taken to an unhealthy level. Also, some of these examples are about aggressive feminists... which is also a different thing (they typically and purposely don't fit the cultural expectation of being feminine at all)
Yeah, I noticed most of these are just "stereotypical bad things some women do but I'm going to call it toxic femininity because I have zero idea what I'm talking about." Absolutely infuriating to watch people continue to conflate feminism with "man hating." I think BP was just forced to do this post because every article about women is drowning in "NOT ALL MEN!" "WHAT ABOUT TOXIC FEMININITY" and the like.
Load More Replies... How about this, a friend's girlfriend decided that her being on the pill is better than his wearing a condom. Tricks him by not taking the pills, gets pregnant, because she always wanted a baby even though my friend said he doesn't want kids and she said the same in the beginning. He gets mad, they split up, he has to pay alimony for the kid.
Men should always wear condom if they don't want children. Always.
Load More Replies... The whole world has gone nuts and it is all amplified with social media. Everyone saying what they think whenever they want. Most of the stuff is total garbage anyway, like don't people have better things to do? The thing that gets me the most is people, who claim to stand pro feminism, anti racisim etc etc go and then do EXACTLY THE THING THEY ARE FIGHTING AGAINST: Hate on men, hate on people of opposite colours etc. Double standards. It doesn't give you the right to be a mong
Being a feminist, e.g., doesn't mean you have the right to bash all men...and I am a woman just fyi.
Load More Replies... I will never understand this need to place meaning onto something then re-package it back into a generalisation which 'neatly' fits a sterotype to denegrate a group. For example, a man explains something to a woman is frowned upon. An older person is automatically a boomer. Women who wear trainers are somehow different to women who wear stilletoes (no idea why). And so on. Why? Because the internet (and the media) says so and now it's become a polarising norm. Seriously... When did humans stopped to think that they are creating the 'pink & blues' of the future? I keep reading about equality (excellent!!!) and then about why aren't we striving for more categories! (eh?) We're spending more time on this planet making up new ways to destroy ourselves and others than realising that we're only here for a finite length of time... We should be light-hearted laughing at how differences instead of sneering at them... Because one day we won't have either option.
I miss the times when bp was about art and beautiful things from the world.Now we see woke bs everyday
One thing that I am surprised that was not mentioned is the sexist idea that still exists that most men dont want to marry/have kids but that a woman has the final saying about it. No. It needs to be 50-50. I know a man who didnt want children but his wife gave him an ultimatum. They had one (also with health issues) and he was suffering because he has some mental illness and having a kid at home was too much. Despite that she insisted on having a second child; not only risking that the baby had also health issues but not caring for her husbands desires and mental health. And on top of that demanded that both kids slept with them every night so he had no rest at all. He ended up having a meltdown and spending some time in a institution. She is a terrible person.
Was this not discussed BEFORE marriage? I know we waited longer than most - but before we got married we knew what we wanted in life and shared it with each other. where we wanted to live to how many kids ( that was changed by health).
Load More Replies... Proving once again that being an utter a** wipe doesn't depend on your gender. We know. Toxic is toxic. Few of these can be specifically tagged to "just women" or "just men" (in other BP posts). Possessive, controlling, abusive, narcissistic, etc..
Toxic masculinity/femininity is not and should not about "just men" or "just women". It is not about "people being an a** wipe". It is about masculinity and femininity. It is about stopping cultural expectations and social acceptance of what is considered "masculine" or "feminine". Technically a tom-boy could easily express "toxic masculinity", and a man could express "toxic femininity". TEACHING a boy to "man up" and repress his emotions is toxic masculinity, and then he grows up with behavior problems because of that. TEACHING a girl to be obsesses with her looks and weight is toxic femininity, and then she grows up to have issues because of that.
Load More Replies... When a feminist says that a man who won't date a bigger girl are @55holes but then turn around and say they won't date a shorter man.
I'm gonna get hate for this, but very few things in this list could qualify as "toxic femininity." What makes Toxic Masculinity "a thing" is that traits that are typically seen as desirable in men are harmful to them and others. It is not seen as a positive "feminine" specific trait to be a "man hater." Not expressing emotions is a toxic "masculine" trait that hurts men while continuing to be seen as positive. These two things are not the same. This entire list just reads as a bitchfest from people who understand neither Toxic Masculinity or false equivallency arguments. Also, feminism has nothing to do with hating men and people who whine about that don't understand it and are usually the kinds of people that make some women hate men (e.g. my sister's ex who cheated on her called me that because I told him to wash his dishes). I realize this comment is probably going to be poorly received, but this article is mislabeled at best, and damaging at worst. Gag.
Thank you, well put! These things are really hard to grasp for so many people. Hopefully your comment helped some.
Load More Replies... Just do what makes you happy without shitting on others!
people who won't acknowledge their own issues but demand apologies for perceived slights not even coming out and saying it, but dropping "hints" like I don't know you are saying it to me. I don't play games like that.
Gender stereotype - if a girl wants to be more masculine it's "good for her, she's an independent woman she needs no man! what a badass!" But if a man wants to be more feminine? "Oh no, he must be gay, how pathetic" like seriously can this gender stereotyping and toxicity just f**k off?
Um.... I'm a tomboy, even at my age, and what I got was a lot of "you must be a lesbian (ruder words used)" or "you must be confused about your identity (but ruder version)" and the "girly girls" in pink/etc. were *horrible* to me. So, no, it's not that way for all of us.
Load More Replies... Yes, major abdominal surgery, especially when it's emergency surgery, is so easy.
Its a little bit interesting how many comments on here say its only men whining or complaining when some of these examples are very much from another woman's perspective (also ones I could relate to)
Talk less, sleep more. That goes for everyone, not just people who perpetuate toxic behaviour.
This entire article, procured by a man, has almost nothing to do with toxic feminism. BP, if you're going to have a man explain a women's issue maybe make sure he understands it enough to not create an anti-women article instead. Nearly every item.on this list was anti-woman. Really missed the mark on this one.
Almost this entire list sounds like men complaining about women who were mean to them.
In my experience, there are (1) nice guys, (2) players, (3) a small number of the sort of "nice guys" the internet complains about because they aren't really nice guys but think acting nice with entitle them to sex, and (4) a few players whose game is to act like nice guys. A "player," here means someone who thinks that the pursuit of sex means all rules of decency, kindness, honesty, and caring about other people go out the window. They each know who they are (except maybe some "nice" guys). What I find shocking is the number of women who think of themselves as good, decent, even devoutly Christian women who lack any sense of empathy, decency, fairness or honesty in dealing with men. I;m often horrified at the way women treat my nice-but-not-'"nice" friends. It's why I tend to defend "I'm not like other women" women, because I've made friends with women (and eventually married one) who were also stunned at the behavior of other women.
A lot of this seems like what those people don't like about women, not so much toxic femininity. Some of it is social customs, and some of it is social scripting. It will take time for those last two to change, as society itself and roles are redefined going forward. But they are beginning to change as the definition of femininity and what it means to be a woman changes.
"why are we expected to be awed when someone with breasts does it?": because the system is stacked against them and they made it anyway. I get it, saying women are better than men is misandry, yes. But pretending females aren't discriminated against is just silly.
Load More Replies... Practise right thought, right speech, right action and right mindfulness. Be mindful to not cause suffering or be the cause of suffering, always. Then the world will be a happier place and most of this type of crap won't happen
Who makes this bull doody up? This is just another post aimed at making people fight each other .
Scrolled down to the bottom to see who put this together. I think I'll take this with a huge grain of salt, Jonas.
Having evolved as scavengers,Primates instinctively seek to acquire resources and status far beyond their needs. This explains a lot of bad behaviors
And yet we have a frontal cortex capable of better, so we don't get the excuse the chimps do.
Load More Replies... Some random sexism/deliberately misunderstanding feminism sneaking in here
This isn't about "women's toxic behavior" it is about "toxic femininity". Sounds the same, but there is a difference.
Load More Replies... ah the good old incelshaming. the female variant of slutshaming. this post surely brought out & triggered some nice specimen. (off course now somebody will start to mention incels is a self chosen name, but guess what, nobody here is calling himself an incel.)
Load More Replies... Oh, f**k you. Men get dumped on here ten times as often as women.
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