You’ve Already Heard Of Toxic Masculinity, But Here’re 30 Examples Of Toxic Femininity
When you hear the word ‘toxic,’ odds are, your mind’s bound to add the word ‘masculinity’ on top. Most of us have heard about toxic masculinity and the issues it poses to men, women, and society as a whole in quite some depth. However, a topic that’s addressed far more rarely is toxic femininity.
The mirror image to toxic masculinity, toxic femininity deals with the perception that some women have about how other women 'should' behave and what makes a ‘real’ woman. Redditors have been going into detail about what exactly constitutes toxic femininity and how some women express it. Have a read through their responses to redditor VysX_’s viral thread and let us know which of these examples you agree and disagree with. Have you noticed any of these in real life? Share your thoughts with all the other Pandas in the comments.
Nancy Doyle, writing for Forbes, explains that she’s seen toxic femininity described in a variety of ways. Including backstabbing, failing to support other women in their success, and also as a potential “tool of the patriarchy to undermine femininity.”
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Women who think other women that enjoy cooking, child rearing, and homemaking are perpetuating stereotyped gender roles enforced by the patriarchy.
Tearing other women down because what they enjoy doesn’t fit into the tiny box of what YOUR version of feminism should be is toxic femininity to the max.
True feminism is giving everybody the choice to live the life they want, regardless of gender or stereotypes.
Branding unattractive guys as “creeps” for the same behaviour that attractive guys get away with and even rewarded for.
It’s when a woman assaults a man first and when the man retaliates, the woman acts like she’s the victim saying “you can’t hit a woman”. You hit him first Ma’am. You’re not absolve to any of your wrongdoings just because of your gender
According to Doyle from Forbes, in the workplace, toxic femininity is akin to passive aggression. “It’s when we allow relationships and productivity to suffer because we’re not being honest about our own objectives, or when we are assuming we know best with a ‘caring’ face. It's being a ‘Karen’ and it's not a step forward from patriarchal systems of control. It might not involve yelling, but it’s still manipulating other people,” she explains.
“The answer to centuries of toxic masculinity is not a new era of toxic femininity, it is leadership and membership behaviors and skills that are, frankly, beyond gender and appropriately contextualized.”
Thinking men can't be abused by a woman
“Breast is best” “Women who have C-sections aren’t real mothers” “Real women have curves” “I’m not like other girls” Etc
My wife had a c-section and our daughter and my wife couldn't take to breastfeeding, and people would make comments about how natural birth and breastfeeding makes real bonds. This hurt my wife, caused some early depression and made her worry about the bond with our daughter, but this really has had no impact on their relationship. My wife now gets angry because of the stupidity of the people saying this and the snobbiness of these fools.
My ex-husband and I separated when our child was 2. Went to a birthday party for daughter's friend and was having a casual conversation with one of the husbands. The group of women stood in a corner staring at me, and the wife came up and grabbed him by the arm and started doing that strange possessive peacock dance.
What were we talking about? Real estate prices.
Doyle notes that communication and honesty can help move past both toxic femininity and masculinity. “Instead of rescuing, ask people what they would like to have happen and give them the tools to do it themselves. Instead of being a victim, state clearly what you would like to have happen and police your own boundaries. And instead of persecuting, check your assumptions and instead notice the pattern or process that needs fixing, not the people.”
Meanwhile, here’s a refresher about toxic femininity’s partner in crime, toxic masculinity. Psychotherapist Silva Neves told me earlier that toxic masculinity is a general attitude perpetuated by systemic misogyny, as well as a set of distorted ideas about what men should be like.
Some of these ideas include not showing vulnerability, striving to always be winners, and not being weak or soft.
Probably the whole “I’m not like other girls” thing. What’s wrong with other girls? You can value yourself without [stepping] on others.
Toxic feminism to me is hating ALL men. Not all men are the same. Those kind of girls make it a point to spread that hate and make it a big movement. I understand everyone has had their experiences with men who have hurt them, but to spread such hate and make it their personality?? Not cool.
There's a Twitter country of Toxic feminists. It's sad because they're destroying the work of the real feminists and teaching rubbish to the coming generation.
No need to search twitter. Half of the topics on BP are about how all men are compulsive rapists, d!ckheads and misogynists with double standards applied. Woman hits man unprovoked over a silly thing. "WOW, that's so HILAREOUS!!!" Man hits woman unprovoked over a silly thing. "WHAT A DOUCHE!"
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This is toxic, but not "toxic femininity". The cultural stereotype of "feminine" is to love men and swoon over them, so there is nothing "feminine" about this behavior. Maybe this is "toxic feminism", but it is not "toxic femininity".
I was just going to write this same thing, but I thought I'd check and see if someone else did first, and here you are!
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I like pigs. Pigs are cute. But all men are people, who vary greatly and are never completely the same from person to person.
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I totally agree. I was in an abusive relationship for many years and got out. At a counseling group session all the women were male bashing. I had to get up and leave. Just because one man was terrible doesn't mean they all are that way. I have many wonderful men in my life!
Here's one I've just picked up on too that should be in this list; not all men. If a guy says that he gets crucified.
Think that very much depends on the context. I've read comments on BP articles with men going 'not all men' when no-one actually said it was. It can be prudent to save the protest for when it's needed.
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We used to call these people "feminazis" and we never mistook them for feminists. They were considered by most to be something completely different.
Actually I'm going to debunk my own argument here because I've talked to conservatives who didn't know the difference ...
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Honestly, I don't hate most guys, but I DO have a baked-in reflex to avoid them. Blame my abusive father for that one. Once I actually get to talking to them, most guys are actually not bad people at all.
It's gotten to the point that "feminism" has become a joke, where people seem to think it's all about men being better than woman.. uh.no. it's about women being equal, getting equal pay and rights etc.
Yeah, that's not what feminism is about. Please don't use words you don't understand.
This is radical feminism. They also hate trans people, bi people, and ace people too. Thankfully the majority of them don't hide what they are so they're pretty easy to avoid. It's just a shame that they label themselves as feminists when at the end of the day they preach the same s**t as conservatives. Women aren't just walking vaginas. We are defined by more than that.
I've always heard there is more fish in the sea, but there is a lot of trash too. Not all men are the same, not at all.
Too many people have to pay for what some ex did to them. I paid for everything my ex-wife's first husband did to her. if we argued about any inane thing, I would hear the common phrase "Well so-and-so did this or that". I Never did any of those things... I couldn't even talk to even a female co-worker, as in her words "You know how guys are"... Even though I never gave her any reason to feel I was a flirt or unfaithful.
whether we like it or not, we will always be held accountable for the s**t the a*****e before us committed. Mostly on a subconscious level, though.
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Feminism is to have access to equal opportunities and treatment as men. Not to put men down.
people who want to "kill all men" you've moved past feminism and into misandry
And yet.... movie writers everywhere... use this as their base model for a "strong woman". *facepalm*
But I think it has more to do with being careful of what they've been through .I still understand your point.
Toxic feminism is hating any group of people. The basis of feminism is not hating, but supporting people. The group known as TERFs is a good example. They dress up hate-speech as feminism. It can be very dangerous.
My female neighbor - every time a man, any man, did something she didn't like she'd call it "Male privilege". Even when the upstairs guy left a tap on and flooded the downstairs tenants. She said that was Male Privilege.
This deserves to be number 1 on this list. More people need to hear this!
I haven't seen a big hang men movement, at least in mainstream. The reason people don't like it when someone says "but not all men" is because it tends to be used as a defense. Like, "not all men do that, so all men aren't responsible to work against sexism." It's a way to move the attention away from making important changes. Every man (and woman) IS a part of society that treats women as less-than and accepts sexist systems.
I think you are over emphasizing a very small, unrepresentative, but vocal set of feminists, usually the type belonging to TERFs. And they aren't usually welcome in mainstream feminism because they spread hate.
That's the excuse racists use to hate people of color.
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Pointing out unacceptable behavior isn't hating, it's future survival for women. It can no longer be tolerated. If you don't behave in a misogynistic way, you should have no problems. You do realize the senate Republicans voted down equal pay this year. WTF?!? Are you one of those men??
Currently the whole deal of Hollywood and the media industry - putting men in to their right place and make them overthink their privilege. And if the content fails (99% of the time) it's blamed on misogyny and not because it isn't entertaining or interesting to watch / read
“Men with toxic masculinity usually have negative views towards women's rights (including their rights to the freedom of their own sexuality) and they tend to be homophobic,” Silva told Bored Panda.
“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women,” the expert continued.
According to Silva, healthy masculinity means that an individual “embraces gender, sex, and relationship diversities including gay men and transgender people. Someone who is comfortable with their opinions to be challenged and able to have debates.”
Mother who treat other people [poorly] and then justify it by saying they're a mama bear
When we s**t all over men and boys, while calling it "Modern Feminism". We don't have to deconstruct and destroy everything masculine just for women to be equal. That is literally the opposite of equality and should be offensive to everyone.
Being pressured to have children. Women can be incredibly toxic when they find out that someone made a different choice regarding procreation. Personally I think mothers that hate on childless women regret their choice to have children and lash out at those they secretly envy for their (perceived) freedom.
Some women are so judgemental about other women, particularly when it comes to looks or fashion.
Also the women who seem to enjoy forming cliques and cutting out anyone they deem to be an outsider.
Worked with an office full of them once. It really sucked!
So glad I have met few like this. Bitchiest person I know is my brother in law,
Harassing/Calling police on fathers(or other legit male caregivers) minding their own business bringing their kids to a public park.
OMG I can soooo relate to that being a single dad to two daughters... I understand and appreciate social awareness and so on, but single mum with two sons will not meet with the problems I deal with. And honestly, people who think it's shady for a guy to live alone with two teen daughters are real pervs. I mean s**t, they're my kids, what's in your head? This is not solely a toxic feminity thoug, applies to men as well.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
Sorry - that's not how life works.
Probably the culture around eating.
When I was 17-18, a few friends kept saying how much more attractive I’d be if I lost weight, how that’s why most guys weren’t into me, how I’d regret not being skinny in college, etc. My BMI was slightly under 25, so I wasn’t overweight, but I was close to it, especially compared to them.
So I basically became anorexic from 18-20 just because the feedback was like a high. I recovered, but not enough to make my mom and others happy, even though my BMI was 22-23. This continued for years between friends and family, and it was exhausting cycling between being too skinny or not average enough.
That’s really the only strong example I can think of. No matter the trendy body shape, the criticism from others will always continue. I’ve only had one guy ever comment on my weight compared to the many, many women, even strangers
Funny, only people who have commented on my weight recently were men. Wrong whoever does it.
A girl in the grade below me (I’m a senior in high school at this point) passed away unexpectedly due to sepsis. Our whole city was in shock as the girl was in the school just days before her passing.
I remember I met up with my gf at the time & she asked, “Why do so many people care about her dying? It’s not like she was pretty anyways.”
This was the type of girl that says, “What??!! I am SOOO nice.”
Safe to say, the lord blessed me with a brain and I GTFO’D that relationship.
To this day, she is still in contact with me & recently she complained that guys use her & she can’t figure out why nobody will be with her.
Well honey, I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that one out.
That's just f****d up. Guess I shouldn't expect anyone to care when I die then coz I am far from pretty lol. Such a stupid thing to say.
Putting other women down for liking girly things and not wanting to be CEOs etc.
Ages ago a woman I knew commented on an news article about women who love to wear mermaid tails and go swimming with it. She said women should aim to be CEOs and not mermaids.
I happened to have one of those tails and love mermaids. I’m 37 now and still do! Doesn’t mean I am stupid or aim low. I don’t want to be a CEO, it’s not who I am.
The divorce playbook. First you kick your husband out of his own house. Then you go to a judge and claim that you are afraid of you spouse and get a PFA. Then you go to family court as the poor helpless woman and take every dime he has then s**t talk him to his own kids. Mine was more amicable than that but I have seen it happen to more than one guy.
I've no doubt that this is something that some spiteful and resentful women do. However, I'm also aware that narcissistic abusers (of either gender) will also say this exact same thing when they are actually the one in the wrong, as that it basically their MO. Having been through a couple of victim survivor programmes for abused women myself, I've seen far too many wonderful, abuse-survivors being slated like this by their exes. Women who are like this post also make it worse for those who aren't but are being portrayed as being so by their abusers. Hope I make sense
The kind of lady that believes a man needs to be a provider is toxic. Also women that look down on men that are shorter than them are toxic af.
Yep, I’m the breadwinner in my household due to my husband’s physical disability, woman that think like this brings us back a hundred years
Being shamed for natural functions. I know men do it too (to an extent) but women are more likely, I feel, to judge body hair, wrinkles, grey hairs, etc.
Add burping, farting, even doing poops. Yes women poop, shocking, I know.
As a woman, I have absolutely zero respect for women who use their femininity to get men to do their job for them. The "oh no! I don't know how to do this, can you do it for me" women I have seen at work are pathetic. Even more pathetic are the men who think stepping in and doing a simple task for a lazy female coworker will actually get them anywhere.
I'm a lesbian and I've had plenty of straight women react to this with complete puzzlement. Have I ever TRIED having a boyfriend? Who fixes things around my apartment when they break? Who kills bugs? You know, there ARE good guys out there...
This comment kills me and I'm not gay. The "Have you ever TRIED XXXX" bit. To me, that's the same as asking if I've ever tried dating a guy to know if I was gay or not.
I’ve got a quote from an ex.
“My girlfriend Sandra got a 2 carat diamond ring if I don’t get at least a 4 carat ring I’m literally going to die.”
This is what 4 carrots looks like to me and most men. 4-carrots-...04e6bc.jpg 
Double standards in dating. I hear this a lot personally with my mother,
But if her boyfriend goes somewhere without telling her she freaks out and throws a tantrum (yes, literally). Yet if he asks anything about her then he's a douche trying to control her and cheating.
Funnily enough, my mother has been exposed for cheating twice now. Along with her f**k s**t friend.
Both my hubby and I let/ask each other if or where we are going out of respect, not control. All I ask is the latest he will be home, so if he isn't home by that time I should start to worry and vice versa. Also to make sure neither of us had already made other plans.
The sheer terrifying glee they have at tearing down someone who's made a mistake or is somehow lacking in their eyes. I worked at a doctor's office with a fifty person staff, forty five of which were women. Like they were so fake and catty and just outright hateful to each other. It was a toxic office culture.
I've experienced this too, but what they don't realize is that if they're talking about others with such spitefulness, what's to say they won't be the next one on the 'we dislike list'..
Being a “bad b***h”. You’re just being an a-hole. Idk if there’s a moniker like that for guys but guys do it too, labeling yourself doesn’t excuse being a jerk
Body-shaming, whether overweight or underweight.
I had an old classmate who called me anorexic for a year straight, anytime I tried to stand up for myself I was the bad guy because ‘she just wants to be as thin as you’. I was 21kg at twelve and her calling me anorexic killed.
Destroying personal property "Cause he done did me wrong!!!" and thinking they are going to get away with it, "women's intuition", and pretty much every custody case ever.
I find a small but hardcore of women vastly overestimate their "women's intuition" and think they have a full handle on everyone's state of mind and motives. It often turns out they make completely the wrong assumptions about a situation on very little information. I think this particularly applies to women as popular culture suggests women should all naturally be psychologists, when in reality a proportion are as clueless as the average man.
Note: this post originally had 40 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
The one that really bugs me is womens magazines. They complain about men objectifying women on opinion and letters pages etc then spend the rest of the magazine objectifying hunks in trunks or some similar shite.
People do it on here. Get photos of a man talking about something he's an expert in and coincidentally he's attractive and you can guarantee there is a string of 'he's hot' type remarks. Or even just the 'so pretty' comments in the 'random genetics/unique looks' article up today. Maybe they are but that's not what it's about. Humans are very 'looks' focused. It's a shame but I don't think it's stopping any time soon!
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Most of these aren’t specifically toxic femininity, just generally being a jerk.
Same case for toxic mascullinity - it's just the jerks doing such things
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Some of these are great examples, and some of them suck. An important thing to remember about "toxic femininity" and "toxic masculinity", is that these are NOT just about people who are jerks who happen to be male or female. The terms are about behavior that is considered by society stereotypically "feminine" or "masculine", but taken to an unhealthy level. Also, some of these examples are about aggressive feminists... which is also a different thing (they typically and purposely don't fit the cultural expectation of being feminine at all)
Yeah, I noticed most of these are just "stereotypical bad things some women do but I'm going to call it toxic femininity because I have zero idea what I'm talking about." Absolutely infuriating to watch people continue to conflate feminism with "man hating." I think BP was just forced to do this post because every article about women is drowning in "NOT ALL MEN!" "WHAT ABOUT TOXIC FEMININITY" and the like.
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How about this, a friend's girlfriend decided that her being on the pill is better than his wearing a condom. Tricks him by not taking the pills, gets pregnant, because she always wanted a baby even though my friend said he doesn't want kids and she said the same in the beginning. He gets mad, they split up, he has to pay alimony for the kid.
Men should always wear condom if they don't want children. Always.
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The whole world has gone nuts and it is all amplified with social media. Everyone saying what they think whenever they want. Most of the stuff is total garbage anyway, like don't people have better things to do? The thing that gets me the most is people, who claim to stand pro feminism, anti racisim etc etc go and then do EXACTLY THE THING THEY ARE FIGHTING AGAINST: Hate on men, hate on people of opposite colours etc. Double standards. It doesn't give you the right to be a mong
Being a feminist, e.g., doesn't mean you have the right to bash all men...and I am a woman just fyi.
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I will never understand this need to place meaning onto something then re-package it back into a generalisation which 'neatly' fits a sterotype to denegrate a group. For example, a man explains something to a woman is frowned upon. An older person is automatically a boomer. Women who wear trainers are somehow different to women who wear stilletoes (no idea why). And so on. Why? Because the internet (and the media) says so and now it's become a polarising norm. Seriously... When did humans stopped to think that they are creating the 'pink & blues' of the future? I keep reading about equality (excellent!!!) and then about why aren't we striving for more categories! (eh?) We're spending more time on this planet making up new ways to destroy ourselves and others than realising that we're only here for a finite length of time... We should be light-hearted laughing at how differences instead of sneering at them... Because one day we won't have either option.
I miss the times when bp was about art and beautiful things from the world.Now we see woke bs everyday
One thing that I am surprised that was not mentioned is the sexist idea that still exists that most men dont want to marry/have kids but that a woman has the final saying about it. No. It needs to be 50-50. I know a man who didnt want children but his wife gave him an ultimatum. They had one (also with health issues) and he was suffering because he has some mental illness and having a kid at home was too much. Despite that she insisted on having a second child; not only risking that the baby had also health issues but not caring for her husbands desires and mental health. And on top of that demanded that both kids slept with them every night so he had no rest at all. He ended up having a meltdown and spending some time in a institution. She is a terrible person.
Was this not discussed BEFORE marriage? I know we waited longer than most - but before we got married we knew what we wanted in life and shared it with each other. where we wanted to live to how many kids ( that was changed by health).
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Proving once again that being an utter a** wipe doesn't depend on your gender. We know. Toxic is toxic. Few of these can be specifically tagged to "just women" or "just men" (in other BP posts). Possessive, controlling, abusive, narcissistic, etc..
Toxic masculinity/femininity is not and should not about "just men" or "just women". It is not about "people being an a** wipe". It is about masculinity and femininity. It is about stopping cultural expectations and social acceptance of what is considered "masculine" or "feminine". Technically a tom-boy could easily express "toxic masculinity", and a man could express "toxic femininity". TEACHING a boy to "man up" and repress his emotions is toxic masculinity, and then he grows up with behavior problems because of that. TEACHING a girl to be obsesses with her looks and weight is toxic femininity, and then she grows up to have issues because of that.
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When a feminist says that a man who won't date a bigger girl are @55holes but then turn around and say they won't date a shorter man.
I'm gonna get hate for this, but very few things in this list could qualify as "toxic femininity." What makes Toxic Masculinity "a thing" is that traits that are typically seen as desirable in men are harmful to them and others. It is not seen as a positive "feminine" specific trait to be a "man hater." Not expressing emotions is a toxic "masculine" trait that hurts men while continuing to be seen as positive. These two things are not the same. This entire list just reads as a bitchfest from people who understand neither Toxic Masculinity or false equivallency arguments. Also, feminism has nothing to do with hating men and people who whine about that don't understand it and are usually the kinds of people that make some women hate men (e.g. my sister's ex who cheated on her called me that because I told him to wash his dishes). I realize this comment is probably going to be poorly received, but this article is mislabeled at best, and damaging at worst. Gag.
Thank you, well put! These things are really hard to grasp for so many people. Hopefully your comment helped some.
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Just do what makes you happy without shitting on others!
people who won't acknowledge their own issues but demand apologies for perceived slights not even coming out and saying it, but dropping "hints" like I don't know you are saying it to me. I don't play games like that.
Gender stereotype - if a girl wants to be more masculine it's "good for her, she's an independent woman she needs no man! what a badass!" But if a man wants to be more feminine? "Oh no, he must be gay, how pathetic" like seriously can this gender stereotyping and toxicity just f**k off?
Um.... I'm a tomboy, even at my age, and what I got was a lot of "you must be a lesbian (ruder words used)" or "you must be confused about your identity (but ruder version)" and the "girly girls" in pink/etc. were *horrible* to me. So, no, it's not that way for all of us.
Load More Replies... Yes, major abdominal surgery, especially when it's emergency surgery, is so easy.
Its a little bit interesting how many comments on here say its only men whining or complaining when some of these examples are very much from another woman's perspective (also ones I could relate to)
Talk less, sleep more. That goes for everyone, not just people who perpetuate toxic behaviour.
This entire article, procured by a man, has almost nothing to do with toxic feminism. BP, if you're going to have a man explain a women's issue maybe make sure he understands it enough to not create an anti-women article instead. Nearly every item.on this list was anti-woman. Really missed the mark on this one.
Almost this entire list sounds like men complaining about women who were mean to them.
In my experience, there are (1) nice guys, (2) players, (3) a small number of the sort of "nice guys" the internet complains about because they aren't really nice guys but think acting nice with entitle them to sex, and (4) a few players whose game is to act like nice guys. A "player," here means someone who thinks that the pursuit of sex means all rules of decency, kindness, honesty, and caring about other people go out the window. They each know who they are (except maybe some "nice" guys). What I find shocking is the number of women who think of themselves as good, decent, even devoutly Christian women who lack any sense of empathy, decency, fairness or honesty in dealing with men. I;m often horrified at the way women treat my nice-but-not-'"nice" friends. It's why I tend to defend "I'm not like other women" women, because I've made friends with women (and eventually married one) who were also stunned at the behavior of other women.
A lot of this seems like what those people don't like about women, not so much toxic femininity. Some of it is social customs, and some of it is social scripting. It will take time for those last two to change, as society itself and roles are redefined going forward. But they are beginning to change as the definition of femininity and what it means to be a woman changes.
"why are we expected to be awed when someone with breasts does it?": because the system is stacked against them and they made it anyway. I get it, saying women are better than men is misandry, yes. But pretending females aren't discriminated against is just silly.
Load More Replies... Practise right thought, right speech, right action and right mindfulness. Be mindful to not cause suffering or be the cause of suffering, always. Then the world will be a happier place and most of this type of crap won't happen
Who makes this bull doody up? This is just another post aimed at making people fight each other .
Scrolled down to the bottom to see who put this together. I think I'll take this with a huge grain of salt, Jonas.
Having evolved as scavengers,Primates instinctively seek to acquire resources and status far beyond their needs. This explains a lot of bad behaviors
And yet we have a frontal cortex capable of better, so we don't get the excuse the chimps do.
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Some random sexism/deliberately misunderstanding feminism sneaking in here
This isn't about "women's toxic behavior" it is about "toxic femininity". Sounds the same, but there is a difference.
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ah the good old incelshaming. the female variant of slutshaming. this post surely brought out & triggered some nice specimen. (off course now somebody will start to mention incels is a self chosen name, but guess what, nobody here is calling himself an incel.)
Load More Replies... Oh, f**k you. Men get dumped on here ten times as often as women.
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The one that really bugs me is womens magazines. They complain about men objectifying women on opinion and letters pages etc then spend the rest of the magazine objectifying hunks in trunks or some similar shite.
People do it on here. Get photos of a man talking about something he's an expert in and coincidentally he's attractive and you can guarantee there is a string of 'he's hot' type remarks. Or even just the 'so pretty' comments in the 'random genetics/unique looks' article up today. Maybe they are but that's not what it's about. Humans are very 'looks' focused. It's a shame but I don't think it's stopping any time soon!
Load More Replies... Most of these aren’t specifically toxic femininity, just generally being a jerk.
Same case for toxic mascullinity - it's just the jerks doing such things
Load More Replies... Some of these are great examples, and some of them suck. An important thing to remember about "toxic femininity" and "toxic masculinity", is that these are NOT just about people who are jerks who happen to be male or female. The terms are about behavior that is considered by society stereotypically "feminine" or "masculine", but taken to an unhealthy level. Also, some of these examples are about aggressive feminists... which is also a different thing (they typically and purposely don't fit the cultural expectation of being feminine at all)
Yeah, I noticed most of these are just "stereotypical bad things some women do but I'm going to call it toxic femininity because I have zero idea what I'm talking about." Absolutely infuriating to watch people continue to conflate feminism with "man hating." I think BP was just forced to do this post because every article about women is drowning in "NOT ALL MEN!" "WHAT ABOUT TOXIC FEMININITY" and the like.
Load More Replies... How about this, a friend's girlfriend decided that her being on the pill is better than his wearing a condom. Tricks him by not taking the pills, gets pregnant, because she always wanted a baby even though my friend said he doesn't want kids and she said the same in the beginning. He gets mad, they split up, he has to pay alimony for the kid.
Men should always wear condom if they don't want children. Always.
Load More Replies... The whole world has gone nuts and it is all amplified with social media. Everyone saying what they think whenever they want. Most of the stuff is total garbage anyway, like don't people have better things to do? The thing that gets me the most is people, who claim to stand pro feminism, anti racisim etc etc go and then do EXACTLY THE THING THEY ARE FIGHTING AGAINST: Hate on men, hate on people of opposite colours etc. Double standards. It doesn't give you the right to be a mong
Being a feminist, e.g., doesn't mean you have the right to bash all men...and I am a woman just fyi.
Load More Replies... I will never understand this need to place meaning onto something then re-package it back into a generalisation which 'neatly' fits a sterotype to denegrate a group. For example, a man explains something to a woman is frowned upon. An older person is automatically a boomer. Women who wear trainers are somehow different to women who wear stilletoes (no idea why). And so on. Why? Because the internet (and the media) says so and now it's become a polarising norm. Seriously... When did humans stopped to think that they are creating the 'pink & blues' of the future? I keep reading about equality (excellent!!!) and then about why aren't we striving for more categories! (eh?) We're spending more time on this planet making up new ways to destroy ourselves and others than realising that we're only here for a finite length of time... We should be light-hearted laughing at how differences instead of sneering at them... Because one day we won't have either option.
I miss the times when bp was about art and beautiful things from the world.Now we see woke bs everyday
One thing that I am surprised that was not mentioned is the sexist idea that still exists that most men dont want to marry/have kids but that a woman has the final saying about it. No. It needs to be 50-50. I know a man who didnt want children but his wife gave him an ultimatum. They had one (also with health issues) and he was suffering because he has some mental illness and having a kid at home was too much. Despite that she insisted on having a second child; not only risking that the baby had also health issues but not caring for her husbands desires and mental health. And on top of that demanded that both kids slept with them every night so he had no rest at all. He ended up having a meltdown and spending some time in a institution. She is a terrible person.
Was this not discussed BEFORE marriage? I know we waited longer than most - but before we got married we knew what we wanted in life and shared it with each other. where we wanted to live to how many kids ( that was changed by health).
Load More Replies... Proving once again that being an utter a** wipe doesn't depend on your gender. We know. Toxic is toxic. Few of these can be specifically tagged to "just women" or "just men" (in other BP posts). Possessive, controlling, abusive, narcissistic, etc..
Toxic masculinity/femininity is not and should not about "just men" or "just women". It is not about "people being an a** wipe". It is about masculinity and femininity. It is about stopping cultural expectations and social acceptance of what is considered "masculine" or "feminine". Technically a tom-boy could easily express "toxic masculinity", and a man could express "toxic femininity". TEACHING a boy to "man up" and repress his emotions is toxic masculinity, and then he grows up with behavior problems because of that. TEACHING a girl to be obsesses with her looks and weight is toxic femininity, and then she grows up to have issues because of that.
Load More Replies... When a feminist says that a man who won't date a bigger girl are @55holes but then turn around and say they won't date a shorter man.
I'm gonna get hate for this, but very few things in this list could qualify as "toxic femininity." What makes Toxic Masculinity "a thing" is that traits that are typically seen as desirable in men are harmful to them and others. It is not seen as a positive "feminine" specific trait to be a "man hater." Not expressing emotions is a toxic "masculine" trait that hurts men while continuing to be seen as positive. These two things are not the same. This entire list just reads as a bitchfest from people who understand neither Toxic Masculinity or false equivallency arguments. Also, feminism has nothing to do with hating men and people who whine about that don't understand it and are usually the kinds of people that make some women hate men (e.g. my sister's ex who cheated on her called me that because I told him to wash his dishes). I realize this comment is probably going to be poorly received, but this article is mislabeled at best, and damaging at worst. Gag.
Thank you, well put! These things are really hard to grasp for so many people. Hopefully your comment helped some.
Load More Replies... Just do what makes you happy without shitting on others!
people who won't acknowledge their own issues but demand apologies for perceived slights not even coming out and saying it, but dropping "hints" like I don't know you are saying it to me. I don't play games like that.
Gender stereotype - if a girl wants to be more masculine it's "good for her, she's an independent woman she needs no man! what a badass!" But if a man wants to be more feminine? "Oh no, he must be gay, how pathetic" like seriously can this gender stereotyping and toxicity just f**k off?
Um.... I'm a tomboy, even at my age, and what I got was a lot of "you must be a lesbian (ruder words used)" or "you must be confused about your identity (but ruder version)" and the "girly girls" in pink/etc. were *horrible* to me. So, no, it's not that way for all of us.
Load More Replies... Yes, major abdominal surgery, especially when it's emergency surgery, is so easy.
Its a little bit interesting how many comments on here say its only men whining or complaining when some of these examples are very much from another woman's perspective (also ones I could relate to)
Talk less, sleep more. That goes for everyone, not just people who perpetuate toxic behaviour.
This entire article, procured by a man, has almost nothing to do with toxic feminism. BP, if you're going to have a man explain a women's issue maybe make sure he understands it enough to not create an anti-women article instead. Nearly every item.on this list was anti-woman. Really missed the mark on this one.
Almost this entire list sounds like men complaining about women who were mean to them.
In my experience, there are (1) nice guys, (2) players, (3) a small number of the sort of "nice guys" the internet complains about because they aren't really nice guys but think acting nice with entitle them to sex, and (4) a few players whose game is to act like nice guys. A "player," here means someone who thinks that the pursuit of sex means all rules of decency, kindness, honesty, and caring about other people go out the window. They each know who they are (except maybe some "nice" guys). What I find shocking is the number of women who think of themselves as good, decent, even devoutly Christian women who lack any sense of empathy, decency, fairness or honesty in dealing with men. I;m often horrified at the way women treat my nice-but-not-'"nice" friends. It's why I tend to defend "I'm not like other women" women, because I've made friends with women (and eventually married one) who were also stunned at the behavior of other women.
A lot of this seems like what those people don't like about women, not so much toxic femininity. Some of it is social customs, and some of it is social scripting. It will take time for those last two to change, as society itself and roles are redefined going forward. But they are beginning to change as the definition of femininity and what it means to be a woman changes.
"why are we expected to be awed when someone with breasts does it?": because the system is stacked against them and they made it anyway. I get it, saying women are better than men is misandry, yes. But pretending females aren't discriminated against is just silly.
Load More Replies... Practise right thought, right speech, right action and right mindfulness. Be mindful to not cause suffering or be the cause of suffering, always. Then the world will be a happier place and most of this type of crap won't happen
Who makes this bull doody up? This is just another post aimed at making people fight each other .
Scrolled down to the bottom to see who put this together. I think I'll take this with a huge grain of salt, Jonas.
Having evolved as scavengers,Primates instinctively seek to acquire resources and status far beyond their needs. This explains a lot of bad behaviors
And yet we have a frontal cortex capable of better, so we don't get the excuse the chimps do.
Load More Replies... Some random sexism/deliberately misunderstanding feminism sneaking in here
This isn't about "women's toxic behavior" it is about "toxic femininity". Sounds the same, but there is a difference.
Load More Replies... ah the good old incelshaming. the female variant of slutshaming. this post surely brought out & triggered some nice specimen. (off course now somebody will start to mention incels is a self chosen name, but guess what, nobody here is calling himself an incel.)
Load More Replies... Oh, f**k you. Men get dumped on here ten times as often as women.
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