I believe that most parents and teachers want their kids to succeed. And while we try to equip them with the best tools and information for their future life, there are some things we're teaching that are actually setting them up for failure. Whether by accident or due to a lack of self-awareness and knowledge, we give them these 'lessons' that do more harm than good when they come into practice.
One Reddit user wanted to get more opinions on what we need to stop teaching children, so they asked other users to share their thoughts. And they had some really insightful responses. People called out the toxic ideas that many are still putting into kids' young and impressionable minds, often without giving it a second thought. Society is evolving, and many ideas are already outdated and considered harmful, yet their echoes still come up when it comes to lecturing children.
Over 16k responses later, Bored Panda selected the most eye-opening responses to what we should stop telling children immediately. There are many 'facts' that are just rarely challenged, so let's not forget that even if we made a mistake, there's no shame in admitting and correcting it. Scroll down and upvote your favorite answers, share your thoughts, and if you think of anything that wasn't on this list, please tell us in the comments below!
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Abstinence only sex education. Please teach these kids about contraception and how it works, it’s been proven that comprehensive sex education is way better at preventing teen pregnancies than abstinence only.
Indeed. If the kids are gonna do it we can at least make sure they're doing it safely!
To just ignore bullies. As a former teacher, it does nothing to address the issue. The bullying persists 100% of the time.
“Stranger Danger” it has some decent basic principles about safety, but the unfortunate truth is we need to teach children how to detect if adults in their life are treating them inappropriately just as much as strangers
Yup. Especially from people who are around your children the most. Family members and friends!
That play ends when you reach adulthood. Play is important, even when we're grown.
Stop teaching kids *what to think*, and start teaching them *how to think.*
That failure is something to be ashamed of and to avoid at all costs. We all fail sometimes and we need to be able to accept that.
If he’s mean to you, he likes you
It's closely linked to boys will be boys, suggesting that women and girls should excuse bad behaviour because it's somehow their fault that men and boys aren't able to control themselves around women.
That you are only successful and happy with a college degree, married, and have children.
Hmm yes that degree that has no job prospects, kids that you can't afford and a marriage where you barely see each other coz you have 6 jobs between you to feed those darn kids. Yes success!!!
That you have to give relatives a hug or kiss if they ask for one.
I had a rule that my daughter had to greet guests and say goodbye, however she got to choose how that happened. Some people she hugged, others she gave a high five and some she just spoke. You can teach a child the importance of manners without making them give up their bodily autonomy. They need to learn that physical contact is a two yes, one no concept and the importance of consent.
You can get what you want if you’re nice.
It teaches children how to be manipulative & dishonest.
Instead, teach them to handle “No”.
Too many people grow up and get offended at being told “No”.
Teachers & Parents want their children to learn how to ask for things in a polite way - but not how to handle rejection.
My brother teaches children and he will actively tell kids “No” and encourage them to find alternative solutions that don’t infringe on someone’s decision.
Family is everything. No sometimes their trash and need to be let go of.
Folks need to understand that all people can suck. Mothers, fathers, doctors, etc. Your title doesn't make you exempt from screwing up or being a bad human.
that there are ‘things for girls’ and ‘things for boys’
(like colors, toys, etc)
I’m still bitter that I wasn’t allowed to be the football goalie in reception. Reasoning was that “the boys will be too rough and may hurt you, and we don’t want to hurt your pretty face” that teacher was pretty sexist and infantilising towards the girl constantly
That it's acceptable to use devices in public loudly without headphones
That ugly = bad/evil. I partially blame TV animation for this one though. This often makes kids fear elderly people and make unfair connections between appearance and personality.
We need to redefine "ugly". Villians used to often have bown/dark hair, for instance. As a kid I remember hating the fact that all the evil girls had dark hair. I wasn't evil - and I knew plenty of lighter haired girls that were.
I don’t believe in forced apologies. They’re not legitimate apologies and the other child knows this. I also don’t feel adults should force children to accept an apology. Forced apologies and acceptances don’t have any benefits.
I am a 3rd grade teacher. My students know I won’t force an apology. Instead, I speak to the students about their choices and how it made others feel. I’ve found that, once students realize what they did, they do apologize on their own and the other student does accept it because they know the apology is sincere. Often times, students will even try to resolve the issue on their own. It’s common for students to ask me if they could speak alone in the hallway. They then return proudly stating that they resolved their issue.
Obviously, if something is not resolving itself, I’ll continue to help students through it. I will also step in for more significant disagreements. However, I’ve found that students are able to resolve issues an overwhelming majority of times. However, they are never truly resolved with forced apologies and acceptances of forced apologies because the underlying issue is still there.
That girls are weak or too emotional (I.e. crying like a girl or don’t be a p*ssy)
The vernacular needs to change. P*ssies can push a child out - they're STRONG. Male anatomy, however? One tap and they're out. So why does everything female mean weak ..? Or "daddy issues" - that means the MEN in a girl's family FAILED her, and yet it's a term used to demean the female victim?
Gender stereotypes.
My son asked me why he didnt have pretty dresses like me. I couldn’t answer his question, i asked him if he wanted to wear dresses like me. He said yes and i sew him one. He’s so happy!
That Santa gives presents to "good" kids. When rich kids get a bunch of Christmas presents and poor kids don't, we're basically telling children that it is because the poor kids are bad and the rich kids are good.
Just tell your kids that the rich people cheat and their parents bought the presents and hid the coal Santa gave them
“Please” isn’t a magic word. It often won’t get you want you want.
“I’m sorry” doesn’t erase a wrong and is only one small part of an apology, which the wronged party is not obligated to accept.
To push down their feelings and never cry. You don’t heal unless you work through your emotions. Support them, don’t scold.
Can attest to the 'never heal' part. I was screamed at and slapped for crying. I just can't let go anymore. I still cry, but I am not able to let truly go anymore.
Boys dont cry
They have to finish their plates, or they're being wasteful.
That the size of your body (height included) is any measure of your worth.
You know what they say? Big nose, big feet, big hands...........................................one funny looking fella
kids learn by watching us. whatever we want kids to do or not do starts with grown-ups addressing our own hang-ups. full stop.
“Do what I say and not what I do” is very confusing to a small child
To accept collective punishment. Whomever did something to get in trouble for is who gets the punishment.
So many teachers do this to kids and it just breeds resentment for both the teacher and the kid who keeps getting the whole class in trouble.
I dont want my kids to be prepared to accept this as adults, and just deal with it from the govt, society, their employer, etc.
As a teacher, I'm always amused by the things people think we teach kids. "Stop teaching ______!"
You know what I spent significant time teaching this year? That soiled toilet paper goes in the toilet. That you can control how loudly you burp. That you have to charge a laptop computer for more than a minute to fill the battery.
Then you get the, "Why don't schools teach kids how to do taxes?" Yeah, kids love taxes. We couldn't get middle school kids to stop playing Fortnite long enough to focus on "The Human Body" unit for a week.
I'm just amused by all the things people think happen in schools.
And of course there is the notion that parents can teach kids, too. That's what we're doing with our son. If there's something important he needs to know, we're teaching it to him.
That you need to be friends with everyone.
Note: this post originally had 34 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Emotional intelligence should be taught as well. Learning to identify one's emotions, what caused them, how those emotions are making us think/behave. Of course, exceptions have to made for neurodivergent people but they can still learn this. It just takes longer.
I find the neurodivergent kids tend to feel intense emotions and often are concerned about how the other party is feeling. The other neurodivergent students will pick up on these feelings and start to get unsettled too. These kids feel
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As a mom, bullies exsist. And my children are trained to fight back. It's not okay for your son to push my daughter on the play ground. There for if it happens, she's allowed to punch your kid in the face. I really could care less what others think of this, but I will not raise my kids how I was raised. I didn't defend myself and was picked on till I became sucidiical at 8 years old. Finally one day I had enough and busted a kids nose with my back pack for touching my hair unsolicited and he treated me with suck distan I cringed hearing his name at roll call. Cory, your an a*****e, I didn't deserve to have my hair threatened to be chopped off cause your parents didn't raise you properly. I hope my daughter kicks your kids a*s too if it comes down to it. (Ltr, I had a bully who made me want to kill myself, I fought back and I will support my kids doing the same)
i was never a terrible person or in any way a bad role model. but, after i had a child i became very aware of how i was mirror to him. i made sure that i practiced what i preached when i taught him things including the fact that parents are not always right and that there isn't a parent manual to follow. ended up having kids that would think about their actions when they got in trouble and/or before they acted. nope - not perfect kids as i had plenty of anxiety attacks about some of their antics. but we all survived until adulthood and they are good human beings, sometimes to a fault.
"No religion in public schools" FTW, but it needs to go further. No religion to be taught, full stop. If people grow up and decide they need to offload responsibility to a big, beardy sky-man or that they can't live without imaginary friends, then by that stage they're a lost cause. Don't pickle their minds from the start, though.
That‘s a bit … mean. Religion has been around for thousends of years. I don‘t mind it if it is practiced in a quiet, non confrontational way. I just mind my kids being „brainwashed“ into it at school….
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Consequences. YOU bear the responsibility of your actions no matter if the outcome is positive or negative. YOU made a choice. YOU reap the rewards or suffer the consequences. I taught my boys this and I live by this. Perspective is everything. Wanna understand why someone reacts the way they do? Want to prevent an unnecessary argument? Want to be more compassionate, more empathic? Look at things thru their eyes. Don't see their situation thru your eyes, see it thru theirs. Teach this to young people and you will raise adults who respect the both the world and themselves.
I'd love to sit down with my school bullies and ask them what was going on in their lives back then. Everyone has a story behind their behaviour.
Also thing like: Mother points at person in wheelchair: "This will happen to you, if you don't eat broccoli!"
Emotional intelligence should be taught as well. Learning to identify one's emotions, what caused them, how those emotions are making us think/behave. Of course, exceptions have to made for neurodivergent people but they can still learn this. It just takes longer.
I find the neurodivergent kids tend to feel intense emotions and often are concerned about how the other party is feeling. The other neurodivergent students will pick up on these feelings and start to get unsettled too. These kids feel
Load More Replies... As a mom, bullies exsist. And my children are trained to fight back. It's not okay for your son to push my daughter on the play ground. There for if it happens, she's allowed to punch your kid in the face. I really could care less what others think of this, but I will not raise my kids how I was raised. I didn't defend myself and was picked on till I became sucidiical at 8 years old. Finally one day I had enough and busted a kids nose with my back pack for touching my hair unsolicited and he treated me with suck distan I cringed hearing his name at roll call. Cory, your an a*****e, I didn't deserve to have my hair threatened to be chopped off cause your parents didn't raise you properly. I hope my daughter kicks your kids a*s too if it comes down to it. (Ltr, I had a bully who made me want to kill myself, I fought back and I will support my kids doing the same)
i was never a terrible person or in any way a bad role model. but, after i had a child i became very aware of how i was mirror to him. i made sure that i practiced what i preached when i taught him things including the fact that parents are not always right and that there isn't a parent manual to follow. ended up having kids that would think about their actions when they got in trouble and/or before they acted. nope - not perfect kids as i had plenty of anxiety attacks about some of their antics. but we all survived until adulthood and they are good human beings, sometimes to a fault.
"No religion in public schools" FTW, but it needs to go further. No religion to be taught, full stop. If people grow up and decide they need to offload responsibility to a big, beardy sky-man or that they can't live without imaginary friends, then by that stage they're a lost cause. Don't pickle their minds from the start, though.
That‘s a bit … mean. Religion has been around for thousends of years. I don‘t mind it if it is practiced in a quiet, non confrontational way. I just mind my kids being „brainwashed“ into it at school….
Load More Replies... Consequences. YOU bear the responsibility of your actions no matter if the outcome is positive or negative. YOU made a choice. YOU reap the rewards or suffer the consequences. I taught my boys this and I live by this. Perspective is everything. Wanna understand why someone reacts the way they do? Want to prevent an unnecessary argument? Want to be more compassionate, more empathic? Look at things thru their eyes. Don't see their situation thru your eyes, see it thru theirs. Teach this to young people and you will raise adults who respect the both the world and themselves.
I'd love to sit down with my school bullies and ask them what was going on in their lives back then. Everyone has a story behind their behaviour.
Also thing like: Mother points at person in wheelchair: "This will happen to you, if you don't eat broccoli!"
