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23 Things People Still Teach Their Kids That Are Not Only Wrong But Also Harmful
Article created by: Indrė Lukošiūtė
I believe that most parents and teachers want their kids to succeed. And while we try to equip them with the best tools and information for their future life, there are some things we're teaching that are actually setting them up for failure. Whether by accident or due to a lack of self-awareness and knowledge, we give them these 'lessons' that do more harm than good when they come into practice.
One Reddit user wanted to get more opinions on what we need to stop teaching children, so they asked other users to share their thoughts. And they had some really insightful responses. People called out the toxic ideas that many are still putting into kids' young and impressionable minds, often without giving it a second thought. Society is evolving, and many ideas are already outdated and considered harmful, yet their echoes still come up when it comes to lecturing children.
Over 16k responses later, Bored Panda selected the most eye-opening responses to what we should stop telling children immediately. There are many 'facts' that are just rarely challenged, so let's not forget that even if we made a mistake, there's no shame in admitting and correcting it. Scroll down and upvote your favorite answers, share your thoughts, and if you think of anything that wasn't on this list, please tell us in the comments below!
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#1
To just ignore bullies. As a former teacher, it does nothing to address the issue. The bullying persists 100% of the time.
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#2
“Stranger Danger” it has some decent basic principles about safety, but the unfortunate truth is we need to teach children how to detect if adults in their life are treating them inappropriately just as much as strangers
#4
That failure is something to be ashamed of and to avoid at all costs. We all fail sometimes and we need to be able to accept that.
#7
You can get what you want if you’re nice.
It teaches children how to be manipulative & dishonest.
Instead, teach them to handle “No”.
Too many people grow up and get offended at being told “No”.
Teachers & Parents want their children to learn how to ask for things in a polite way - but not how to handle rejection.
My brother teaches children and he will actively tell kids “No” and encourage them to find alternative solutions that don’t infringe on someone’s decision.
#11
That ugly = bad/evil. I partially blame TV animation for this one though. This often makes kids fear elderly people and make unfair connections between appearance and personality.
#13
I don’t believe in forced apologies. They’re not legitimate apologies and the other child knows this. I also don’t feel adults should force children to accept an apology. Forced apologies and acceptances don’t have any benefits.
I am a 3rd grade teacher. My students know I won’t force an apology. Instead, I speak to the students about their choices and how it made others feel. I’ve found that, once students realize what they did, they do apologize on their own and the other student does accept it because they know the apology is sincere. Often times, students will even try to resolve the issue on their own. It’s common for students to ask me if they could speak alone in the hallway. They then return proudly stating that they resolved their issue.
Obviously, if something is not resolving itself, I’ll continue to help students through it. I will also step in for more significant disagreements. However, I’ve found that students are able to resolve issues an overwhelming majority of times. However, they are never truly resolved with forced apologies and acceptances of forced apologies because the underlying issue is still there.
#14
That Santa gives presents to "good" kids. When rich kids get a bunch of Christmas presents and poor kids don't, we're basically telling children that it is because the poor kids are bad and the rich kids are good.
#15
“Please” isn’t a magic word. It often won’t get you want you want.
“I’m sorry” doesn’t erase a wrong and is only one small part of an apology, which the wronged party is not obligated to accept.
#16
To push down their feelings and never cry. You don’t heal unless you work through your emotions. Support them, don’t scold.
#20
kids learn by watching us. whatever we want kids to do or not do starts with grown-ups addressing our own hang-ups. full stop.
#21
That you need to be friends with everyone.
#22
To accept collective punishment. Whomever did something to get in trouble for is who gets the punishment.
So many teachers do this to kids and it just breeds resentment for both the teacher and the kid who keeps getting the whole class in trouble.
I dont want my kids to be prepared to accept this as adults, and just deal with it from the govt, society, their employer, etc.
#23
As a teacher, I'm always amused by the things people think we teach kids. "Stop teaching ______!"
You know what I spent significant time teaching this year? That soiled toilet paper goes in the toilet. That you can control how loudly you burp. That you have to charge a laptop computer for more than a minute to fill the battery.
Then you get the, "Why don't schools teach kids how to do taxes?" Yeah, kids love taxes. We couldn't get middle school kids to stop playing Fortnite long enough to focus on "The Human Body" unit for a week.
I'm just amused by all the things people think happen in schools.
And of course there is the notion that parents can teach kids, too. That's what we're doing with our son. If there's something important he needs to know, we're teaching it to him.
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