Back in late 1999, two psychologists from Cornell University—Justin Kruger and David Dunning—put it to the test whether people who lack the skills or abilities for something are also more prone to lack awareness of that lacking. They started off their research paper with an example of a Pittsburgh bank robber, McArthur Wheeler. McArthur was arrested in 1995 shortly after robbing two banks in the middle of the day, with no mask on, or any other kind of disguise. When the police caught up to him and showed him the footage from security cameras, the robber was confused. "But I wore the juice," he protested. As it later turned out, the poor man believed that if you rub your face with lemon juice, it will be invisible to security cameras. Yeah, right... The two psychologists did other tests too that proved that their theory stands correct—the less competent you are, the more you think highly of your intelligence.
What later has become known as the Dunning-Kruger effect could probably explain why some incompetent people are just so damn annoying. Also, it can provide an insight into why we enjoy spending time with those who are able to laugh at themselves and their dumb brain farts. Don't you think it takes a smart person to admit that they can be very, extremely, overwhelmingly dumb? Therefore, all of these 60 people, who were brave (and smart!) enough to publicly admit the dumbest things they did, deserve a medal. While we won't actually send a medal to each one of these people, we suggest you take a scroll through this list where they are sharing instances that made them question their own intelligence. As always, vote for the ones you like the most and don't forget to share dumb moments that made you question your own mind!
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A couple of weeks ago, I heard my neighbors cat meowing, so I responded with a "meow" of my own. This went on for about 3-4 exchanges until I opened the door and found it was not a cat, it was just another dude meowing back at me. So many unanswered questions.
I have a key fob for my car. It’s set up so that if you hit the lock button once, it locks the car. If you hit the same lock button again, it locks it again and honks the horn so you know you’ve locked it for sure. The thing is, I always want to make super sure that it’s locked, but sometimes I come home to my condo super late, and my parking spot is right under someone else’s window. I noticed that if the key fob was farther away from the car when I hit the button twice, the honk was not as loud. So out of consideration, I would always wait til I was halfway up the stairs to do the double lock honk. What a great neighbor I am!
Anyway, after maybe 2+ years of doing this, one time my girlfriend and I were in my condo and I realized I needed something out of my car. So I go down there but when I get there I realize I had forgotten my keys. Well, I had my phone, so I called my girlfriend and asked if she would stick her arm out the window with the key fob and unlock my car. She mistakenly hit the lock button twice and my car honked. Really loudly! Even though she was all the way up on the third floor!
It was only then I realized...the honk was always the same. It only sounded softer when I was farther away...because I was farther away.
I have a master’s degree...
When I was cleaning out my shed in the back, I stepped on a rake and the pole smacked me in the face. Literally, like the cartoons. It happened three more times before I came up with the bright idea to move the rake.
I once had a brain fart and forgot that porcupines were animals. I was hanging out with my family and my niece mentioned that her favorite animal was a porcupine, and I laughed for a good long time before explaining to her that porcupines weren't animals. I'd gotten them mixed up with pine cones.
I have a graduate degree. My niece was maybe 6 at the time. She schooled me.
That's ok my first fight with my now ex husband was because we were talking about a mongoose. I said I loved them because they reminded me of ferrets which I also love. He said "How does a bird remind you of a ferret?" I asked him to think about that for a minute as I died laughing. He was so mad, he said "I had the bike, it's a bird" I said I did NOT have the bike and it is NOT a bird, just because "goose" is in the name doesn't make it a bird. lmao. I had to google that s**t to a 30+ yo man.
My coworker asked if there is lactose in eggs, I thought to myself "they both come from the same animal, so maybe". For 5 seconds, I thought milk came from chickens.
I wanted to make cookies for my mom that spelled "mom" and I ordered one "o" and two "m" cookie cutters
Fixing a clogged sink by removing the drain pipe and thoroughly rinsing it underneath the tap of the sink I just removed the drain from.
I was sitting in traffic, and I noticed that all the other lanes were moving while mine hadn't budged an inch. I craned my neck trying to see what the hold up was, and finally figured out that I wasn't in a lane at all, but had been patiently waiting behind a line of parked cars.
I snuck out to do teenagerly things at around midnight and got back at around 4 in the morning. I very slowly, agonizingly slowly, took my keys out of my pocket, selected the correct key, inserted it into the front door lock at a speed of one tumbler per fortnight, rotated it counterclockwise while palming the rest of the keys so as to not let them jingle and successfully unlocked the door. I removed the key from the lock at the same snails pace and put my keys back in my right front pocket. I went to reach for the doorknob and rang the doorbell. That was when I died.
A couple months ago, my husband and I went on a walk. There are a lot of trails where we live and a couple of lakes. So we walked down a trail to the lake, turned left up another trail, and ended up at the top of a street. We start walking down the street and I realize there is a house that has a wishing well in their front yard like we do. I point it out to my husband and then I realize they have the same truck we do, too. I point out the truck and then I realize that we were in front of our own house. It wasn't my brightest moment.
Wanted to light a candle. Struck a match. Changed my mind about which candle I wanted to light, and decided to light a Yankee jar candle instead. Couldn't get the lid off with one hand. Stuck the lit match in my mouth so I could use both hands to get the lid off.
Couldn't smell the scented candle.
Could only smell singed nose hair for days.
One time I microwaved a single mozzarella stick for 30 seconds. It seemed an appropriate amount of time. When it was done I popped it in my mouth to eat it. It was molton lava hot. As it seared the inner workings of my mandible my brain began screaming "get rid of it!" So I did. By swallowing it. I felt the burn travel down my esophagus and into my stomach. It hurt so bad. It was only made worse by my friend laughing hysterically at me and exclaiming that even dumb dumbs know to spit it out.
I once threw a stone high in the air directly above me. Absolutely no reason for that, just because I could I guess. Instead of walking away, I kept standing there, looking at the stone falling down until it was too late to move. I still managed to put my hands up protecting my head, hurt a lot anyway.
I don't think I'll ever win a Nobel prize.
one time i was thinking about aqua from Konosuba and i thought "natural blue hair isn't real, but what about blue eyes?"
i have blue eyes
i have blue eyes and i was questioning their existence
I locked my car keys in the trunk of my car, hours later when I got my keys out, I proceeded to reenact what happened to my friends, complete with actually locking my keys in the trunk again...
While helping my girlfriend make dinner one night we needed some lemon juice and she asked me to squeeze a lemon. Now logic would dictate you cut the lemon in half before you squeeze the juice out of it, but not this brilliant [guy]. No sir! I just squeezed the [hell] out of it, rolling and palming it in my hand until the peel finally broke, releasing the lemon juice into a bowl as requested. Needless to say, when she turned and saw what I had done she was amazed (probably by my impeccable ability to follow orders). She then asked how I ever managed to live alone, and I'm pretty sure that's why I'm not allowed in the kitchen anymore.
Made some soup on the stove in a saucepan and poured it into a bowl and some of the soup dripped down the side of the boiling saucepan so I licked it
I went my whole life thinking the saying was "the ghost is clear" instead of "the coast is clear". Im 21 just found out yesterday at work lol
I realized this year that pufferfish fill themselves with water when they expand instead of air... I’m 25
A couple years ago I was moving out of my apartment, so I had the whole place packed up. I had a cold at the time, so I decided to take some alka-seltzer. With all my cups put away, I get the idea that I should just toss the meds in my mouth, and drink out of the sink to wash it down. Well the tabs get stuck in my throat and the water begins activating the meds. I'm sitting there alone in my kitchen, clutching my throat and foaming at the mouth into the sink. I was ashamed I was about to die in the least cool way ever. Luckily they dissolved quickly enough for me to catch my breath and not die.
First day of university I go out to explore the campus, only to find the same odd piece of litter in the corners of multiple buildings, almost seemingly strategically placed. even more oddly, it was the same exact piece of cardboard trash I kept seeing. Strange, but probably just leftovers from an event where the university handed out something stored in them. Upon seeing the 5th or so inproperly disposed of piece of cardboard, I take it upon myself to be a good citizen and properly recycle the misplaced trash. A simple enough task that even I couldn't screw up! I casually walk to the corner, kneel down, pick up the piece of trash and...
I can only imagine what people must've thought after seeing me react to the piece of trash that had somehow outsmarted me, gluing itself onto my skin. I was like a cat with a piece of tape on its paw, flailing wildly, too afraid to scream, the only sound that could be heard was cardboard flippyflaps echoing down the halls.
After the 4th or 5th good swing at the air, the cardboard remained permanently affixed to my skin and I had finally begun to realise what was happening. I, a superior intellect, a student of a well respected university, had been caught.
By a mousetrap. GG.
I frequently see a man cross a four-lane road near my home. We have a fairly similar schedule and I see him often. He's well-known in the neighborhood and he's deaf. NBD.
I once slowed down as he crossed the four lane in driving, white-out, downpour rain and I though to myself, aw man, he doesn't know it's raining because he's deaf.
Made a cup of coffee, got out a cereal bowl, poured cereal into my coffee, then put the cereal box back in the fridge.
One morning my vision was all blurry so I started freaking out and called my gramma to take me to the doctor. Then like 20 minutes later realized I just forgot to put my glasses on. I’ve worn them since 1st grade and totally forgot for half an hour.
At my company we had the new director of HR come in to talk to a couple hundred people. He started going on and on about how we need to improve ourselves and work on our personal standards.
Then he starts asking questions of the audience as he walks around. He says,
"Does anyone know what the R word is?"
I confidently raised my hand--thinking now is the time to get some easy face time with the new executive.
Exec: "Yes, son?"
Me: "Retard"
The entire place went dead quiet and everyone turned around and looked at me.
Black lady next to me: "Oh lawwwwd...."
Exec: "How about reorganization?"
I actually don't remember what happened past that. But I have a job.
I still have nightmares
Something like that happened to me. My science teacher was talking about how babies learn words and stuff like that (he gets off topic a lot), so I sort of zoned out, but then I heard him ask, "What is your first word?" and he pointed at me. So I said, "Elmo" thinking that he meant the first word I ever said. Apparently, we were back on topic and talking about the Scientific Process. My friends teased me about it for weeks.
I saw an animal in the woods behind my house and my immediate thought was KANGAROO!
I live in Indiana.
i did something like that. my dad was watching a nature program and I walked in and said loudly is that a buffalo, it was a bobcat. my dad then called me back into the room later to show me when a real buffalo was on the TV. he had a good laugh about that and I got really embarrassed.
A few years ago I googled "do the people upstairs have a cat?" and it has never left me :/
Locked myself out of the house and couldn't pick my locks
I'm a locksmith by trade
Three times now, I have taken the cap off of a tube of super glue and put it in my mouth to hold it. Three. Times.
Dutch proverb: Even a donkey never hurts himself twice on the same stone.
So this happened a couple days ago, I got home from school tired as hell so I decide to take a nap at around 5:00. Well it turns out to be really deep and when I wake up my clock says 7:50. This freaks me the [hell] out because school starts at 7:20 and I quickly get changed and sprint out to my car to drive to school. As I'm driving there is surprisingly little traffic but I don't think anything of it and I pull up to the school parking lot. It is completely empty and I'm confused as hell so I walk over to two police officers and they inform me that it is actually 8 pm not am and I realize that I probably look like the biggest dumbass around. I just yelled at myself all the way home about how dumb I am.
did this in high school. came home, took a nap. when i woke up my folks were home. dad was still in uniform and mom had her make up on but still in a robe so i thought they were getting ready for work. i rushed to get ready. they asked why - told them. being the pranksters that they are they said...okay. ran out of the house and down the street to where the bus picked up. after a while noticed no other kids out there, it's getting darker and realized what a dumbass i was. walked back into the house with my parents sitting at the table laughing their asses off.
How u guys don't notice the weather outside???? I have had it happened to me multiple times. I just look out the window or recheck the clock not sprint away without a 2nd thought. No metting or school is imp enough to not think properly for a sec
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I was a bank employee thought it was Monday and went to work. Took my card that activates the employe's door, it doesn't open, can't go to work, I start to shake it with all my might, a siren goes off, a guard with a big police dog comes up to me, I'm scared, the man looks very angry, the dog is growling, his teeth are big, the asks me what I'm up to, I tell him I tried my card, but door doesn't open, he says show your card and ID card, I don't understand why, he laughs and says it's Sunday the bank is closed. I got up at 6:00AM, my Sunday was ruined!
once i woke up at 5 in the afternoon and thought it was 5 in the morning and no one told me for THREE HOURS that it was in the evening.
Did you make a stack o pancakes thinking it was for breakfast?
Load More Replies... not quite as bad, but when I was still in school I woke up, fully convinced it was time to get up, got dressed, got my back pack ready and it wasn't until midway through my weetabix that I properly looked at the clock and realised it was half past three in the morning. This happened twice.
I've done something like this!! But it was usually around an hour before I had to wake up.
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I did something similar in high school. My friend and I were going to his house at 6 from orchestra rehearsal. I was hella tired after playing the Elgar Cello Concerto over and over again. My friend plays the violin, so he didn't have to play much. I asked him to wake me up when it was 8 before I fell asleep on the floor. He woke me up after a while and told me it was 8. I panicked and thought I was going to be late for school. I ran out of the house to the school. The doors were locked so I spent a good 30 minutes trying to get in before I realized it was 8 in the evening, not the morning. I went back to his house grumpy and annoyed. He was laughing his ass off and he was calling our other friend to tell him what happened.
Did this in Elementary School, too. The bell rang so I gathered my stuff and walked home. Later found out it had been the bell for recess. I never told anyone and nobody mentioned it later.
It might not be different. Right now where I live it's dark at 5am, and at 5pm.
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I'm from France, at the end of high school we have our last examination week in July which is when the sun seems to always be up, be it 7Am or 7PM making it hard to know what time of the day it actually is .. Anyway, I was on my few last days of examination, tired from all the pressure and took a nap after coming back from one philosophy test I had in the morning. I had this big test that I really relied on to graduate the following morning. I woke up all groggy in the middle of the afternoon to the sound of my sister in the hallway heading out, thought she was going to school and freaked out so terribly I literally jumped down my bunk bed rushing into the hallway asking my sister what time it was and why the hell had no one tried to wake me up, saying how I would never graduate and everything was ruined and starting crying so baaaaadly until my sister started laughing her head off saying how it was still the same day and I had only slept like two hours lol x')
Had the same thing happen to me once, except I realized my mistake before actually stepping out of the house! Spent the rest of the evening in a state of deeply unsettling time confusion that I couldn't shake.
Easy to do. I used to live in Seattle and after 9/11 I had to stand 24 hour watches three times per week until we were able to get reservists activated. I would stand my watch, go home, and fall asleep not knowing what day it was much less what time it was. I thought more than a few times I had slept through an alarm and would call my LT apologizing like an insane person until she informed me it was just night time and I was not late. Seattle where you can go to work at 0800 and get off at 1600 and it looks exactly the same outside in the winter months.
One summer I was on a cruise in the Arctic. I woke up, looked outside at the light & thought I had slept in, missing breakfast. I hurriedly took a shower, got dressed & left my cabin, which next to the lounge. I looked in & didn't see anyone but should have had people then. All of a sudden, I realized it was light out because the sun didn't set in the Arctic. It was really 3:30 a.m. I went back to bed. I have done this twice.
I did this recently. Took a nap, woke up at 7:30, thinking it was morning, and also thinking day light savings time sure makes the morning dark.
I drove to work at high speed, no one there. I sat there wondering why I was the only person there. At least I wasn't late.
America! Still struggling with AM PM. If you had woken up at 19:50, there wouldn't be any problems.
That happened to me once. I got home from school on a Friday, and we were supposed to have Tacos. I fell asleep when I got home and woke up at 7. I thought "aw damn, I slept all night and missed the tacos", checked for leftovers... none. Made myself breakfast and was watching TV when my alarm went off to watch the Simpsons. Which started at 8pm...
I did something similar. I woke up one morning realizing that my alarm didn't go off. I jump up panicking, trying to get dressed, hopping around trying to put my shoes on and brush my teeth at the same time, started yelling at my kids that we were super late and they needed to get up and get dressed for school, hurry, hurry, hurry. This is about time my 8 year old daughter says, "Mom, it's SUNDAY!"
I looked at the clock at work and realised I was late going home. When I got home I was two hours early and when I rang work to apologize, the boss said 'we wondered where you were going'
This is the first one on this BP that made me uncomfortable. My mother often got day and night confused like this when her dementia got really bad.
Since here, we usually have 24 hr clocks, I would be completely lost in the US or Canada. Most times, I don't even know which one is pm and which am. ...
I did that once too. After screaming at my husband for letting me sleep in so late, because we now only had 20 minutes to get to our appointment. Yeah, it was 8:40 PM. I had some serious groveling to do.
I have woken up and not knew if it was Am or PM but never did that.
Did the same working at a medium sized hotel in the West Country in the UK in about November many years ago. We used to do Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner shifts in the kitchen most days - about 12 / 14 hours a day, This particular day, did B/fast, then Lunch, then I went for a snooze (something I very rarely did), woke up at 5 by which time it was darkish, washed and dressed, got downstairs at 5.30 to find that there was no one else there so started setting up trays of Bacon, Sausages, Tomatoes, Black Pudding etc, frying off Mushrooms and putting pans of Baked Beans on to heat..... Oh how the Head Chef laughed when he pitched up at 6.15 to start DINNER service !!! Got the piss taken out of me for weeks after that ... To compound it, about a year later, I was working in the Restaurant as Head Waiter and did the same sort of thing, but started setting up the Restaurant for Breakfast service when it was already prepared for Dinner ... Stayed with that company for 10 years, Happy days.
Had a biscuit in hand and the ear phone in the other. Put the biscuit in ear and ear phone in mouth. At work. Why must I be such a disappointment.
lol. It's like when I peeled a banana and I threw the banana in the garbage and put the peel into my mouth
Once I picked up a lemon, wondered “do lemons bounce?”, and immediately threw it on the ground.
It was the last lemon.
They don’t bounce.
Phoned the police to report my car stolen after being unable to find it after a shopping trip.
As I was on the phone I looked around idly, at which point I spotted my girlfriend's car. I'd borrowed it. Mine was in the garage for an MOT.
Sent a text to my friend telling him he left his phone with me.
Was folding laundry one afternoon.
Picked up a white shirt with some faded grey letters, looked very vintage. Had a black collar. I'm looking at this shirt and see the letters are some kind of weird font/ launguage.
It looks like the Elf language from LOTR in font and German lettering, with lots of diaeresis and vaguely familiar letters.
So I'm standing there for like 5 minutes, closely studying this damn shirt trying to figure out WTF language this is, even asking my boyfriend if he knows where he got this shirt (is it a band name? gift from someones vacation overseas?) I mean I'm going crazy trying to figure it out, this familiar yet never before seen language.
Turns out it was an American Eagle shirt inside out...
Put some hot, boiling sauce into a shot glass to let it cool down for tasting. Do something else for ten seconds. Spot shot glass 'Ah right I wanted to check the taste'. Proceed not to gently suckle on it, but down the still almost boiling, fatty fluid into my mouth like cold vodka.
Worked in kitchens for over a decade. Put a metal pan in the microwave to heat something up.
Couldn't find my glasses. They were on my face.
Also walked into a pole. Not a small pole.
Told my friend that the 4th of July celebrations must be beautiful at the place we were. We were in Linlithgow, Scotland and I was talking about the palace and loch. Friend is Scottish. For obvious reasons they do not celebrate the 4th of July.
I suspected a roommate of stealing my food from the fridge, so I put a lock on the fridge and freezer door handles. Turns out you can still open both.
I farted while we were spread out sitting on the ground in my gym class. Everyone looked behind towards me and I looked behind me, only to see that I was looking at a wall.
I tried to use a birthday card that I got from my grandparents for my 18th birthday as ID to get into a night club.
Often when I'm closing a door quickly I will hold the edge of the door rather than the door knob. You may be wondering: "isn't your hand in the way of closing said door then?!" The answer is yes, I have slammed my fingers in doors too many times because I refuse to hold the fucking door knob.
“Don’t touch. Wet paint.”
I touch
Everybody touches. It also works with signs like "Don't use" "Don't open" and "Don't switch off."
I was in class one day messing around with my stapler.
"I wonder what'll happen if I staple my finger." *Staples finger."
"Huh. I don't know what I expected."
Edit: I feel I should mention I was 16 when this happened.
I was playing with a mini stapler once and thought to myself "be careful you could staple your finger" and then I stapled my thumb. Fun times.
Note: this post originally had 60 images. It’s been shortened to the top 45 images based on user votes.
sometime when i'm in my car and i cross another car going the other direction i just wave at them. it's just makes me laugh thinking that the driver gonna spend few minutes trying to know how the F i am :-)
I love this! People do this to me sometimes and I’m always thrown off like “huh, wuh, do I know them?” Lol. Nice one.
Load More Replies... I love ice cream pies. I always get one for my birthday. One year my wife and I were slowly eating at one over the course of several days, but it kept getting more and more melty. But everything else in the refrigerator was staying nicely cold. WTH? We both have college degrees. We were in our 30s. I'd done this many times before. It still took us 2 days between us to realize the ice cream would melt less if we put it, you know, in the _freezer_.
Is it just a pie crust with ice cream inside? Or do you mean ice cream cake?
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After a hurricane took out our electricity, I went out to get some hot coffee. When I got back I realized we had a gas stove!
Sat for a while wondering what kind of animal Mickey Mouse is. "Is he a bear, is he a dog, is he an aardvark or is he just some fictional animal that doesn't exist in real life?" Decided on bear before realizing Mickey MOUSE 🤦
I once thought I had something in my beer so I closed one eye, peered into the bottle with the other. It was dark, so I tipped the bottle up to the light and dumped 10 or so ounces of beer directly into my eye.
A friend of my dad invited him to a "coffee Togo" and my dad asked me if I knew what kind of beverage or coffee shop that is and I legit googled it before realizing the friend meant a coffee to go.
I once put an egg in a bowl of water and popped it in the microwave. Bang! I'm sure the whole neighborhood heard it.
Well now I know not to try that, it's totally something I would assume works!
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Last week, my sister visited. It was kind of stressful and she and her kids were staying at a hostel (my place is small), and late at night I had to rush over there with bed linens because apparently she got the wrong room. When I went back home I was so tired I could barely walk straight; I get into my building, get the keys up, and stare dumbly at the door. "Why the hell did someone change the name on my door while I was out!?" (Took me a while to realise I was at the wrong door...)
I had an issue with a piece of equipment. I took a picture of the serial number with my cellphone and called the company's support line. When they asked for the serial number I told them to hang on because I took a picture of it and then promptly went into a complete panic because I couldn't find my phone to retrieve the image.
A friend of mine sometimes struggles to remember the names of things. One time after getting more and more frustrated, she blurted out "you know - that thing, the library for plates" while desperately pointing at a cupboard!
Once I forgot what the drain plug was called and called it “the water go downer stopper thingy” Another time I was making macaroni with hot dogs, and while I was slicing the hotdogs the water started boiling. First time I’ve ever cooked using the stove by the way. So I started freaking out that the water boiling too long would ruin it. So I asked, “what happens if I burn the water”
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When newly married, I put on a saucepan of oil for chips, but forgot all about it. I guess my husband must have switched it off, but to make certain, I dipped my finger in to check! (Only once, mind!)
This story reminds me of a time I found a wobbly coatrack and stepped on the base to see what would happen. The pole hit me in the face and I thought I broke my nose. Nice to know I'm not the only idiot.
One time I realized I had started the microwave with a fork still on the plate. So, I stopped the microwave. But that wasn't good enough for me. The rule is you're not supposed to put metal in the microwave. So I grabbed immediately to remove it from the microwave. It was scorching hot. Got blisters.
I have a friend who put their retainer in the microwave on accident. It was a mix of melted plastic and very hot metal.
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Just the other day I was on a call with a friend and they went "Oh no my goldfish!" As she started telling me she had dumped her bowl of goldfish onto her bed. And I screamed "Save them!!" And she just laughed because she thought I was joking. I freaked out and asked if they were still alive, then she stopped laughing, and said "They're the snack. NOT THE REAL THING" I realized I am a huge idiot sometimes. I thought she had dumped her pet fish out on her bed on accident (She doesn't have a pet fish either)
I was home making my mother a salad. I started by putting the entire head of lettuce under a running faucet. As it was literally filling with water, I was thinking something is off about how I was washing the lettuce. But I don't buy iceberg lettuce so I kept going. My mother was watching and asked me if I knew what I was doing. She instructed me to place the lettuce on the counter, stem side down, and then to hit it. Hit it? Yes, hit it. So, I wound up and came in with a devastating right hook, right at the water-logged head of lettuce. Immediately upon impact, I realized that she meant hit the lettuce on the counter so that the stem is knocked loose and it becomes easier to wash.
I wondered once if something was hot, then touched it.... Also my significant other once wondered if a cactus was sharp, and touched it. Clearly, we are made for each other.
Anyone can have the occasional brain fart, but let's be honest. There's some serious stupid going on in some of these stories.
Reading these makes me feel better about the times the Stupid Fairy has gotten to me. Like the time I couldn'remove my keys from the ignition or start my car, so I called AAA. The man arrived and simply put my transmission in Park. I humbly said, "Please hand me my 'Stupid' button." I do give him credit for being empathic rather than snarky.
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One day I asked my wife if she had seen my cell phone. I’m running all over the house for at least 15 minutes trying to find my damn phone. Finally, my dear wife asked me if I was using our land line as I had called her at work. I said no,........I was using my cell phone.
My family moved from NYC to the suburbs. My dad had to go to work, so my poor mother was stuck trying to make lunch for my brother (5) and me (9) when we were being complete nuisances. She realizes the benefit of being in the nice, safe suburbs is that she can send us outside for a few minutes so she can finish assembling lunch in peace. So she tells us to walk around the block, then come back in. We complain, but go. After 10 minutes, we're still not back. 15, 20, 25 minutes and mom is increasingly panicking, eventually calling the police. We return just as the police car is pulling up. So what happened? Turns out that in the suburbs (as opposed to the city) not all houses are on 'blocks'. When we went out, we walked for 3/4 mile, reached a fenced-off field, and had to turn back... It was literally impossible to walk around the block. And had mom attempted to retrace our steps (rather than just panicking and calling the police), she would have realized what happened and found is soon
“Assembling” lunch is such a weird way of putting it. I hate the way people say “prepared a meal.” I think “assembling lunch” is going to have to join it. It sounds corny somehow.
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My mom left an iron out when I was a kid. I wanted to know if it was hot. I knew if I touched it with my finger and it WAS hot, it would hurt. So what did I do? I touched it with the tip of my nose. **Spoiler alert.** It was hot.
My step dad 30 years ago was ironing. He was a joker. Always having fun and kidding around. He said hey touch this hot iron to the tip of your tongue it won't burn be at your tongue is wet. I was like 11 and said no, you do it. He did. He had a triangle burn on his tongue for over a week.
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In my defence it is partly due to the fact I don't like them but I was into my 20s before I realized that cucumbers and pickles were somehow related.
I misplaced my mobile phone somewhere in the house, so I called it using the landline so that I can locate it. After hearing it ring in a different room, I rushed to it and quickly answered my mobile phone since it was ringing. I said hello a couple of times before I realized that I was the one who's calling it.
My boss and I were trying to figure out what you do with a ship. You don’t drive it. Pilot wasn’t right either. Do you captain it? It was almost two days later when my boss had the epiphany. SAIL. You SAIL a ship 🤣
I never worry about making a hot drink in a PowerCut! So, I won't be able to use the kettle. No problem. I'll use the Microwave instead! Duh.....
sometime when i'm in my car and i cross another car going the other direction i just wave at them. it's just makes me laugh thinking that the driver gonna spend few minutes trying to know how the F i am :-)
I love this! People do this to me sometimes and I’m always thrown off like “huh, wuh, do I know them?” Lol. Nice one.
Load More Replies... I love ice cream pies. I always get one for my birthday. One year my wife and I were slowly eating at one over the course of several days, but it kept getting more and more melty. But everything else in the refrigerator was staying nicely cold. WTH? We both have college degrees. We were in our 30s. I'd done this many times before. It still took us 2 days between us to realize the ice cream would melt less if we put it, you know, in the _freezer_.
Is it just a pie crust with ice cream inside? Or do you mean ice cream cake?
Load More Replies... After a hurricane took out our electricity, I went out to get some hot coffee. When I got back I realized we had a gas stove!
Sat for a while wondering what kind of animal Mickey Mouse is. "Is he a bear, is he a dog, is he an aardvark or is he just some fictional animal that doesn't exist in real life?" Decided on bear before realizing Mickey MOUSE 🤦
I once thought I had something in my beer so I closed one eye, peered into the bottle with the other. It was dark, so I tipped the bottle up to the light and dumped 10 or so ounces of beer directly into my eye.
A friend of my dad invited him to a "coffee Togo" and my dad asked me if I knew what kind of beverage or coffee shop that is and I legit googled it before realizing the friend meant a coffee to go.
I once put an egg in a bowl of water and popped it in the microwave. Bang! I'm sure the whole neighborhood heard it.
Well now I know not to try that, it's totally something I would assume works!
Load More Replies... Last week, my sister visited. It was kind of stressful and she and her kids were staying at a hostel (my place is small), and late at night I had to rush over there with bed linens because apparently she got the wrong room. When I went back home I was so tired I could barely walk straight; I get into my building, get the keys up, and stare dumbly at the door. "Why the hell did someone change the name on my door while I was out!?" (Took me a while to realise I was at the wrong door...)
I had an issue with a piece of equipment. I took a picture of the serial number with my cellphone and called the company's support line. When they asked for the serial number I told them to hang on because I took a picture of it and then promptly went into a complete panic because I couldn't find my phone to retrieve the image.
A friend of mine sometimes struggles to remember the names of things. One time after getting more and more frustrated, she blurted out "you know - that thing, the library for plates" while desperately pointing at a cupboard!
Once I forgot what the drain plug was called and called it “the water go downer stopper thingy” Another time I was making macaroni with hot dogs, and while I was slicing the hotdogs the water started boiling. First time I’ve ever cooked using the stove by the way. So I started freaking out that the water boiling too long would ruin it. So I asked, “what happens if I burn the water”
Load More Replies... When newly married, I put on a saucepan of oil for chips, but forgot all about it. I guess my husband must have switched it off, but to make certain, I dipped my finger in to check! (Only once, mind!)
This story reminds me of a time I found a wobbly coatrack and stepped on the base to see what would happen. The pole hit me in the face and I thought I broke my nose. Nice to know I'm not the only idiot.
One time I realized I had started the microwave with a fork still on the plate. So, I stopped the microwave. But that wasn't good enough for me. The rule is you're not supposed to put metal in the microwave. So I grabbed immediately to remove it from the microwave. It was scorching hot. Got blisters.
I have a friend who put their retainer in the microwave on accident. It was a mix of melted plastic and very hot metal.
Load More Replies... Just the other day I was on a call with a friend and they went "Oh no my goldfish!" As she started telling me she had dumped her bowl of goldfish onto her bed. And I screamed "Save them!!" And she just laughed because she thought I was joking. I freaked out and asked if they were still alive, then she stopped laughing, and said "They're the snack. NOT THE REAL THING" I realized I am a huge idiot sometimes. I thought she had dumped her pet fish out on her bed on accident (She doesn't have a pet fish either)
I was home making my mother a salad. I started by putting the entire head of lettuce under a running faucet. As it was literally filling with water, I was thinking something is off about how I was washing the lettuce. But I don't buy iceberg lettuce so I kept going. My mother was watching and asked me if I knew what I was doing. She instructed me to place the lettuce on the counter, stem side down, and then to hit it. Hit it? Yes, hit it. So, I wound up and came in with a devastating right hook, right at the water-logged head of lettuce. Immediately upon impact, I realized that she meant hit the lettuce on the counter so that the stem is knocked loose and it becomes easier to wash.
I wondered once if something was hot, then touched it.... Also my significant other once wondered if a cactus was sharp, and touched it. Clearly, we are made for each other.
Anyone can have the occasional brain fart, but let's be honest. There's some serious stupid going on in some of these stories.
Reading these makes me feel better about the times the Stupid Fairy has gotten to me. Like the time I couldn'remove my keys from the ignition or start my car, so I called AAA. The man arrived and simply put my transmission in Park. I humbly said, "Please hand me my 'Stupid' button." I do give him credit for being empathic rather than snarky.
Load More Replies... One day I asked my wife if she had seen my cell phone. I’m running all over the house for at least 15 minutes trying to find my damn phone. Finally, my dear wife asked me if I was using our land line as I had called her at work. I said no,........I was using my cell phone.
My family moved from NYC to the suburbs. My dad had to go to work, so my poor mother was stuck trying to make lunch for my brother (5) and me (9) when we were being complete nuisances. She realizes the benefit of being in the nice, safe suburbs is that she can send us outside for a few minutes so she can finish assembling lunch in peace. So she tells us to walk around the block, then come back in. We complain, but go. After 10 minutes, we're still not back. 15, 20, 25 minutes and mom is increasingly panicking, eventually calling the police. We return just as the police car is pulling up. So what happened? Turns out that in the suburbs (as opposed to the city) not all houses are on 'blocks'. When we went out, we walked for 3/4 mile, reached a fenced-off field, and had to turn back... It was literally impossible to walk around the block. And had mom attempted to retrace our steps (rather than just panicking and calling the police), she would have realized what happened and found is soon
“Assembling” lunch is such a weird way of putting it. I hate the way people say “prepared a meal.” I think “assembling lunch” is going to have to join it. It sounds corny somehow.
Load More Replies... My mom left an iron out when I was a kid. I wanted to know if it was hot. I knew if I touched it with my finger and it WAS hot, it would hurt. So what did I do? I touched it with the tip of my nose. **Spoiler alert.** It was hot.
My step dad 30 years ago was ironing. He was a joker. Always having fun and kidding around. He said hey touch this hot iron to the tip of your tongue it won't burn be at your tongue is wet. I was like 11 and said no, you do it. He did. He had a triangle burn on his tongue for over a week.
Load More Replies... In my defence it is partly due to the fact I don't like them but I was into my 20s before I realized that cucumbers and pickles were somehow related.
I misplaced my mobile phone somewhere in the house, so I called it using the landline so that I can locate it. After hearing it ring in a different room, I rushed to it and quickly answered my mobile phone since it was ringing. I said hello a couple of times before I realized that I was the one who's calling it.
My boss and I were trying to figure out what you do with a ship. You don’t drive it. Pilot wasn’t right either. Do you captain it? It was almost two days later when my boss had the epiphany. SAIL. You SAIL a ship 🤣
I never worry about making a hot drink in a PowerCut! So, I won't be able to use the kettle. No problem. I'll use the Microwave instead! Duh.....
