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We’re only human. You can’t expect to be perfect all the time—no matter how much you strive for that, there will always be some glaring flaws and gaps in your knowledge that you might find embarrassing. It’s best to fix what you can and embrace all the rest. Though, to be fair, that’s much easier said than done. And that’s exactly what internet users have been discussing over on the r/AskReddit subreddit.

Redditor Wijting asked people to share the things that they believe they’re doing wrong, but are too scared to ask somebody about. In a very honest thread, people opened up about all the things, big and small, that they’re either too embarrassed to ask about in real life or are simply too afraid to draw attention to because they think others would make fun of them for this. Fortunately, the friendly folks of Reddit were more than happy to offer their own advice to people.

Have a read through some of these honest posts, upvote the ones that you can personally relate to, and if you’re feeling brave enough, share what you personally think you’re doing wrong in the comment section. Maybe some Pandas will come along with some helpful advice.

One of the biggest marvels in life, at least for me, is that it's never too late to start learning something new. No matter how embarrassed we might be, no matter our age, we can accomplish great things if we put in the effort. I had a chat about what we should do to put ourselves in the best possible position to learn new things as we grow older with Age UK, a charity that helps everyone make the most of later life. Scroll down for Bored Panda’s interview with them below. I also reached out to the author of the viral thread, redditor Wijting. You can read what they had to say below as well.

#1

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask I have no idea if my lunch break is an hour or 30 minutes.

Where my office is located in my building, my boss and co-workers can’t see me leave for lunch. When I started, I just began taking hour lunches like I did at my last job. Recently, I heard a co-worker mention taking her 30 minute lunch.

I’ve been taking hour long lunches for 6 years and it’s way past the point of asking…

spydervenom , Rolf Kleef Report

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Jyri Hakola
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are able to do all of your tasks on time, perform well, your boss is happy and no one complains, keep having a 1 hour break and in any cases do not ask. Eventually your employer pays your achievements, not the time that you sat on your chair and well rested and fed brain is likely more productive in the afternoon than brain without a break.

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#2

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask I feel like I’m really articulate when I’m going about my day especially over text, but as soon as I get into a verbal disagreement, it’s like my brain shuts off and I forget how to think. Like a deer in the headlights. I don’t remember it always being this way, but it’s like I struggle to accurately express myself.

The_Splenda_Man , Ketut Subiyanto Report

#3

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask I have no idea how often I should text, call or hang out with a friend to maintain a friendship. Especially long distance. I’ve lost friends over the years because I hate texting and don’t understand how often I need to keep in touch with someone. The only friends I’ve kept are the ones I can meet in person.

iceunelle , Nathan Dumlao Report

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Redditor Wijting told Bored Panda that they were inspired to create the thread because they hope that it would help them work some stuff out. "The reason why I made the thread was because I had something on my mind. I think I've been doing something wrong for a while. I was hoping the thread would give me the courage to ask the question myself. To be honest, my particular problem compared to some answers on the thread was rather small," they opened up.

I was also interested to find out whether the redditor thinks that being candid in embarrassing and awkward situations actually helps bring people closer together. "People like honesty and honesty within any type of relationship will make the bond stronger. This is a personal view though," they told Bored Panda.

#4

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask I really wish someone could supervise me during social interactions and give me real honest feedback about what I am doing wrong.

sixhoursneeze , SHVETS production Report

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Kerstin Fransen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That would actually be amazing! I struggle with social interactions from time to time and I really wonder how I actually come across.

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#5

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Parenting. For the last 20 years.

They all appear to be functioning human beings, so we can't be too far off the mark, but I do worry we've screwed up somewhere along the line and they'll pay the price for our mistakes in the future.

EnailaRed , Steven Van Loy Report

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James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is no one right way to parent. There are plenty of things you should never do though.

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#6

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Flirting. Let's face it. I don't even know what the heck that is, how it works and what the difference between talking and flirting is. Funny enough, apparently that leads to me constantly flirty without wanting to be. At least, I often get told that I flirt with almost every single person I meet.

OverlyShyEnby , Katerina Holmes Report

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mulk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

" I flirt with almost every single person I meet." : that's because you are a charming person ;)

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According to redditor Wijting, taking small steps "to build up courage" can be a good way to admit our flaws and ask someone for some helpful advice. "Try to hint at, or try to lead with smaller questions."

Wijting shared with me that they were "taken aback" by the response their thread got. "A lot of people think they are doing things wrong that I have always taken for granted. Not knowing how to shave, for instance. These questions have made me think if I'm actually doing these things wrong myself... Some questions were rather deep, and I do hope the people that have asked them got some satisfying answers."

Meanwhile, Age UK had this to say. "We know that our thinking skills change very gradually throughout our lives, but there are things we can do to help us to stay sharp," Age UK told Bored Panda. "Evidence from the Global Council of Brain Health suggests that having a positive mental attitude, a healthy diet, taking exercise, socializing, and engaging in new activities are all linked to better thinking skills later in life."

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#7

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Treating my depression.

I've been in therapy for years now, have tried various anti-depressants, made huge life changes including abstaining from alcohol, removed toxic relationships, even changing my diet. I've tried everything I can find, and, if anything, things are getting worse. It's getting to the point where tomorrow I have an appointment to find out if I have cancer, and can't decide if I will bother with treatment in the case that I do.

nubsauce87 , Nik Shuliahin Report

#8

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask My finances - no idea how to properly manage my money.

FinnbarMcBride , Kyle Murphy Report

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jameskramer avatar
James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Start by keeping a list of ALL of your spending, no matter how small an amount.

si-riemenschneider avatar
Tassenküchlein168
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If somebody has no clue about their finances - this will probably not work, because they will give up on the third day.

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j_f_ avatar
J. F.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A good start is to ask If you need something or if you just want it.

simon_37 avatar
Treessimontrees
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Put a reminder in your phone/calendar to return to the thing you want in 10 days. If you still want it then, get it. You'll be surprised how often you changed your mind.

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aditychakraborty avatar
MrOwlAteMyMetalWorm.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is real.How should we improve on this?What books can we read?What should we research about?What classes should be taken?Everything is important .Any help?

renskedejonge9 avatar
Flip
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watch a youtube video with tips to save money. You have an amount that comes in. Take off rent, gas, healthcare money etc. Then you have an amount left. Split through 4 weeks is so much a week. If you buy more one week, you buy less the next. Don't borrow money from the bank, except when you think it's very important, but never too much. You must be able to pay it back in 3 months by just eating less. If you can, save some every month for a holiday or something. I learned it as a student. Got 600 a month. 350 rent for a room. 250 a month to spend. Warm food was 3 a day, bread, sometimes a new shirt. I always saved money to go to Spain a week for 800 or so and one day eat a pizza there, for the rest cook yourself. Lol we were so cheap as students. If we ate a pizza, we bought one drink and if we were thirsty still, we'd drink water for free in the toilet.

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ben woskje
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Such a vital skill.... partly influenced by a lack of education on the topic - and partly by consumer culture - which normalises "have it now" type of attitude.

franziska-birk avatar
Francis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well i learnt that i have certain things to pay every month (rent, insurance, public transport, etc.) my income minus those things is what i can spend, and than this minus what i want to put aside for vaccations or smth without losing the chance to spend "fun money" :)

robert-thornburrow avatar
Robert T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Step 1 is to work out how much you have coming in versus going out. You can then work to increase the ins and reduce the outs. From there you can work out if you can afford something or how long it will take you to save for it.

delphinum4 avatar
Zophra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looking at the calculator picture - I have no idea how to use the "M" (memory )function on the calculator - like when to press it to store and then recall. Too late to ask now...

simon_37 avatar
Treessimontrees
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Follow the link to classes on financial literacy - https://www.themuse.com/advice/13-free-classes-to-help-you-manage-your-personal-finances-like-an-adult

wbrameld4 avatar
Walter Brameld
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It all comes down to this: Spend less than you make. How you do that is up to you, but it should be at the front of your mind every time you consider buying something. Avoid debt wherever possible (car loans, student loans, mortgage, credit card debt, etc.; believe it or not, these debts are *not* mandatory. Dare to think differently than your peers who get themselves roped in to lifelong monthly payments because "that's just what you do".). Save up for large purchases and pay cash instead. If you think "It would take a long time to save up enough for that" then consider that it would take even longer to pay off the debt from financing it, and if you lose your job while still paying it off then you're f****d. If you'd like to be rich later in life, then take the money you don't spend and invest it (which is free and super easy these days with online brokers like E*TRADE).

ciarastone avatar
Ciara Stone
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They should teach a required class in high school, like health class, where teens are taught how to do their taxes, how to change a tire, how their money, etc. I literally cried out of frustration the first time I filed my taxes. Sadly, a lot of kids graduate high school with no knowledge of this crap

william_lanni avatar
Will Lanni
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm reading Rich Dad Poor Dad and wow it is helping me immensely.

tami_6 avatar
Tami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get on a retirement forum and start asking questions. The earlier the better.

lizzlor avatar
Lizz Lor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Write out when everything is due each month and then on a spreadsheet your pay days and expected take home...then allocate each bill to one of your pay days that month before it is due...keep a running total of what's left over...I also add in things like vacation spending or saving goals

brittanyl avatar
Brittany
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's an app for that. Lol, there's an app for everything

mstohr-z avatar
Mtownmick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Create a Budget. Figure out how much you want to spend in categories each month -food, housing, transportation, etc. and then track how you do against that budget. The act of thinking how much you want to spend each month versus what you bring home is the first eye-opener. The second is how much you do. Once you know the difference you can start making changes. Download your spending from your bank in a spreadsheet and put in categories. Doesn't have to be perfect, just start and get close. It makes a world of difference.

master_minds9 avatar
denzoren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I try my best. I keep a ledger and I try to keep targets or goals throughout the year.

marieange-dobresk avatar
Dispatcherqueen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Make a list of all your income on the left side of a sheet of paper. on the right, make a list of all your expenses. your income, minus your expenses, is what you have left for the month for anything other than bills. Always pay something to yourself after that, and put it in savings, even if it's only 20 bucks

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Make a budget. Write down how much EVERYTHING costs, from rent to that cup of Starbucks. Add it up. Compare to your income. If you have money left over, save it. If not, now you can see why. Rewrite the budget. First, things you MUST pay, and their actual amounts. Rent, utilities, credit cards, loans, insurance, cel phone, cable tv/internet, every repeating bill you have. Then, things you need. Put an estimated dollar amount for things like food, dry cleaning, gas, clothing. Add those amounts up, see what's left. (If nothing, get on the phone and start working deals or canceling or finding new companies for insurance or internet or phone). Now, with what's left, set specific dollar amounts to spend on "extras" like eating out, coffee, shopping sprees, saving for vacation. Live with it a few months, make adjustments. Be frugal.

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Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

pay your bills first, in order of importance: (rent/mortgage, electric, water, heat, maybe car pmt...then spend the rest! food, fun, etc. HAVE FUN DAILY, LIFE IS SO SHORT!)

kendramiller avatar
Kendra Miller
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's worked for me, is question EVERYTHING, or at least every purchase you make. Do I need this? If so is there a way of getting it second hand or making it? Do I need it now, can it wait? How long have I wanted this? (Needs to be at least weeks). Is it made with quality materials and is it going to last? Do I have a place in my home, can I imagine it? Will it bring me joy? Honestly speaking, would that be a couple of days or would it making me happy for years? Because of these questions a lot of useless junk gets screened out. Never buying crap, means a heavier wallet and a happier home.

dhbuchanan avatar
The Dave
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And THERE’S where our school systems in the US are screwing up. This should be a mandatory part of high school curriculum.

daraholsters avatar
Dana Dara
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Don’t spend money you don’t have.

paula_42 avatar
catslave6
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Begin by writing down what you deposit in the bank. Use a lined notebook and do the math on the left side of the page, use the right side for note and dates, etc. Deduct your rent or mortgage first every time. Deduct your utilities next. Deduct all other expenses; i.e., insurance, credit card bills and all other monthly on-going expenses. Deduct gas for the car, groceries, eating out, as you spend. REMEMBER to deduct everything as you spend. KNOW how much you bring in, and how much goes out. Keep in mind that just cause you have it doesn't mean you need to spend it! Try really hard to save 10% for yourself every month. Be consistent and stick to the program. Set a time every week to check your bank balance and make sure you are on track. This worked for me for all my life. I own a home and two cars. I never bounce checks. I didn't have a lot, but paying attention made it work. You can do it, too. If you want to invest consult a professional.

si-riemenschneider avatar
Tassenküchlein168
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1st: Close away all your payment cards. Then list all your income and your regular costs per month including saving rates and set up standing orders from your bank account. Now split your excess in groups, like "Food", "Hobbies", "Clothes"… and put the money you think you will need in that groups in cash in different envelopes. When go shopping, get the money from the corresponding envelope. Do so for at least 6 months.

johnc_1 avatar
John C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go see a financial counselor. It's absolutely worth the few hundred bucks to get yourself on track with retirement savings and adulting. Be careful and investigate who you see, though - due diligence and all. Not that the industry is rife with bad actors but there are some. We feel so much more secure and better after making just a few small changes to how we were managing our income. Totally worth it.

feckerkehoe avatar
Iggy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This might be of some help: https://www.ccpc.ie/consumers/money/budgeting/managing-your-money/

laurennewman_1 avatar
Little king trash mouth
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband and I are meeting with a financial advisor tomorrow after deciding to hire him for his services. I hate the idea of paying money to manage my money (which I outright told him, lol), but we have no idea what we're doing!

blue1steven avatar
Donkey boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a real thing. I am useless with money because it literally holds no value to me. I couldn't tell you if I had £5 or £5m. I don't look at the price of things because it means nothing. I honestly don't know if something is reasonably priced, cheap or overpriced. It's not something I could learn and it's not because I am or have been rich, I just can't comprehend the value of things.

ng avatar
N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

send me a photo of your credit card, i think i can help

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#9

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Life.

Like what I supposed to be doing? I have about 80 years total. So far, I’ve learned stuff, got married, and got a good job. Am I just grinding out the rest of my years?

OPmeansopeningposter , Huy Phan Report

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Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ever since the earliest age, we are introduced and guided through a set of rules. As a result, we expect there's always a task, or a model image for us to emulate. But once you're out of school, there's no more guidance. Now it's up to you to guide others. So you have to change the approach to life. Stop thinking in terms of "supposed to do" and start with "what do I really want to do? What is it that makes me happy?" If you're not sure, try to accumulate different kinds of experience, be it through hobbies, friendships, education, travel, work etc. And keep observing how you do within these and how it makes you feel, whether you want to keep it, improve it, or leave it. You have way more freedom than you know.

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According to a representative of Age UK, it's vital that we keep our bodies and our minds in tip-top shape. The relationship between the two is well-established, so taking care of your body is bound to have a positive effect on your mind, too.

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"It is clear to scientists and doctors that keeping the blood vessels and blood flow healthy is also key to maintaining your brain function as you age so what is good for the heart is good for the brain too," Age UK points out.

However, some other things that help us stay curious and willing to learn and explore new things include having a strong sense of purpose and having an active social life as well. What's more, we ought to be as realistic as possible about our own limits and plan accordingly.

#10

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask My job.

Everyone says I'm doing great and praises me for being so efficient or being ahead on my training but I feel like I'm constantly having to ask questions and do extensive research on what the f**k I'm supposed to do in specific situations.

KleinLoki , Ant Rozetsky Report

#11

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Literally just standing still. I have terrible posture.

concernedcitizen4520 , Brady Wahl Report

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mulk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Strange walking is worst: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCLp7zodUiI

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#12

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Relationships. Throughout my life I've never gotten much romantic attention, and when I do receive it, I tend to be obnoxiously clingy, which leads to being left alone again. I don't know how to break this habit, because my emotions are just strong.

CrystalTear , Crew Report

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"Keeping active and busy and discovering new things and even making sure we stay socially active all help to keep us brighter as we get older. Setting goals and making plans gives our lives meaning and purpose, but make sure they’re realistic plans. For example, rather than saying ‘I plan to exercise for one hour every day,’ plan instead to go for a 20-minute walk, three times a week."

Finding the courage to admit that you’re doing something wrong is commendable. Being brave enough to set your ego aside and actually reach out for help is worth applauding, in my personal opinion.

Earlier, I had a chat about healthy and unhealthy ways of showing embarrassment with regards to our knowledge blindspots with Vanessa Bohns from Cornell University.

#13

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Anything related to being an adult, straight up no F**king idea what I’m doing…

Giftyd , Oleg Magni Report

#14

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Standing up for myself and maintaining boundaries. I'm working on it but it's hard because I am just figuring it out (kind of) and people keep trying to push me back to being the doormat I used to be. It's so tempting to be that person again because I hate disrupting the calm, but I was just so tired.

skeptic_narcoleptic , Uriel Mont Report

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Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In any situation (as long as a gun isn't pointed at you) stand up for your self even toward people who think they are superior to you because no one is!

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#15

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Supervising. I am put in the position, but just rely on the efficiency of my subordinates. As soon as there's someone who's lazy or a troublemaker, I've got to figure out how to approach it.

sinf_wacht , Christina Morillo Report

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Stephanie Keith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Be encouraging but direct. It takes a kind, humble, straight forward, strong minded, truthful, and understanding person to be able to manage other people. We tend to think calling people out or getting other's to do their job properly. Is somehow mean or we don't want to come off as bossy. But the right attitude and getting to know those you manage somewhat personally. Helps you figure out how to guide them. Just remember to encourage and be nice. People usually want to do what you say when they feel needed and lifted up.

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"We spend a lot of time and effort presenting an ideal version of ourselves to other people. When something happens that contrasts with the image we’ve been projecting—when we say or do something that shows we actually aren’t as graceful or as smart as we’d like people to believe—we feel embarrassed," Vanessa told Bored Panda in a previous interview.

"Discovering you were wrong about something most everyone else around you has long known to be true is one of those moments. In that moment we learn, 'Wait a minute, maybe I haven’t been presenting the image of being smart or worldly that I thought I was presenting all this time,' which is embarrassing,” she noted that embarrassment comes from the contrast from what we thought was true and what reality is actually like.

#16

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Showering. I have very very long thick hair and I just kind of blast shampoo and conditioner at it. People ask me what I do to keep my hair so nice and I have no idea what to say. People seem to have such complex hair rituals and I’m here just apeing it up.

SkylordZoey , Jaysin Trevino Report

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Joonscrab
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Humble brag lmao... I mean good for you for having thick healthy hair ig

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#17

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask General conversation I just suck at talking to people I don't really know or don't know at all. Sometimes when I get tips for stuff I respond "yes" or "ok" or "thank you" and even that feels weird or wrong, even the action of saying "hello" feels off... It even happens with firends sometimes...

Burcus254525 , cottonbro Report

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Truth Monster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try talking about the other person. Most people love talking about themselves. Find out about their hobbies, their pets, their favorite bands.

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#18

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Dating. Like how the f**k do you find people, that are equally interested in going out with you as you are with them. And then you somehow have to notice that they'd be interested in going out. I just don't understand it, and it sometimes makes me feel like I'll never go on one because of it

Ezechiell , René Ranisch Report

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MrOwlAteMyMetalWorm.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No no no ,the question is how the hell do people just agree to go on a date with humans they don't even know?! I am scared to go out with my friends.Forget that how do you trust ,it'll all be ok?What this blind faith?I am awkward just talking with humans I've known for decades.Dating is just plain scary.Well,relationships are scarier.But we somehow survive.

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However, embarrassment isn’t all that bad. In fact, it has some upsides that should have you rushing to embarrass yourself as often as you can. “One thing that’s interesting about embarrassment is that, for as much as we might experience it as painful in the moment, it’s actually very socially adaptive.”

Vanessa continued: “Being embarrassed signals to other people that you care about what they think. And that actually draws people in to you.” In short, embarrassment has painful short-term effects but very positive long-term effects. If we learn to deal with the former well, then we’ll be able to reap the latter.

#19

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Studying. I have no idea how other people do it. When I read something I retain very little of it, so I resort to writing down what I think are important details, which is most things for me, but it takes so long and I still have to rely on my brain to remember thing by simple repetition.

chocolateskittlez , energepic Report

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MelFunction
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Writing it down is the only way I retain information. It takes a really long time, but it's the only thing that really works for me.

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#20

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask How to handle anger? I'm too embarrassed to ask

Ok-Plastic-62 , engin akyurt Report

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Aman Varkkey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friends used the gym as a way to help vent a lot of frustration he has, he says that it helps him think things through.

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#21

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Is is bad to say everything I have no idea what the f**k I’m doing anymore

trippin_on_daydreams , Andrew Neel Report

“So blushing, burying your head in your hands, laughing, acknowledging how embarrassing something was, are all totally healthy ways to react,” Vanessa explained to Bored Panda. “The unhealthy way to react is to pretend you’re not embarrassed, that you didn’t make a mistake, or to get angry. Those things undo the positive effect of embarrassment typically has on other people by conveying insincerity and pushing people away rather than drawing them in.”

#22

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask When I started my first job I didn't know if an 8 hour work day meant including the break or not, and I was too afraid to ask.

Penguin-Fairy , Martijn van Exel Report

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#23

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Parallel parking.

Poshbish , thienzieyung Report

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James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For me I either parallel park perfectly on the first attempt or it is a total catastrophe with nothing in between.

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#24

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Kissing. I’ve had no complaints but it’s not really something your parents taught you to do properly (unless you’re into that)

BenignFrustration , Daria Shevtsova Report

#25

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask How to speak up on problems or expressing certain emotions. I keep stuff bottled up inside

No_Leader_2711 , Kate Kalvach Report

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Maria Schneider
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because you are afraid of the possible reactions. Only trying and finding out you are accepted is helpful.

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#26

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask My PhD.

Going into my third year and I still don't feel as if I ever adjusted, or developed healthy habits.

Just trying to take it a day at a time and not procrastinate beyond no return.

ApolloThe3LeggedDog , Oladimeji Ajegbile Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stick with it. You’ll have the degree, instead of regrets about quitting when you were so close. A doctorate will also open more doors, especially in your field, so you’ll have jobhunting options. You’ll always have the fallback to teaching at the university level, where the real money is, as long as you stick with it long enough to gain tenure. Plus it allows you to continue doing research, and often fully funds it as well.

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#27

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Being a picky eater. So preparing food, I've been wanting to try new things, but I have no idea what to buy, how to prepare it, and it scares me to ask because I don't want it to sound like I'm some sort of alien.

PurpleStabsPixel , Wagner T. Cassimiro Report

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Katherine Boag
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best way (when there's no pandemic) is to ask a friend if you can try a bite of what they're eating. Or go to restaurants that encourage sharing. Or host a pot luck dinner

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#28

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask The proper way to wipe my butt after pooping.

benjam1ng Report

#29

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Writing. I love writing, and have written a few short stories older the years, and I show it to friends of mine who read, but every single person has said they loved it. I ask for constructive criticism, and sometimes they want the story to go differently, but it's so damn rare I get an opinion on my actual writing. My descriptions, vocabulary, the flow of the story, etc. Well, too scared to ask someone who will give me an actual opinion.

Maxtrix07 , cottonbro Report

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are writer communities online that proofread eachothers work. You can also hire a professional proofreader. Google is your friend.

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#30

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Relationships.

I recently started out in the dating scene and i dont know whats the difference between being a couple and being really good friends.

Also: sex is really strange to me.

Viking_Ship , Khamkéo Vilaysing Report

#32

I'm a girl. Not sure if I'm supposed to shave the thin blonde hairs in my thighs or not. Sometimes they look darker, but sometimes they look blonde.

I shave the rest of my legs ( below the knee), but I'm in my 30s. Feels like I should know this already....

busycleaning Report

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Jihana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The saddest part is that this woman thinks she is SUPPOSED to shave certain body parts.

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#33

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Gym exercises and weights. I am very afraid of the public gyms... I opted to buy my own weights and machines but... When lifting stuff I don't know if I am carrying too much or too little. Is it supposed to not hurt? My back hurts a bit when I'm doing basic stuff like dumbells.

Gunnard-Magnuson , Jennifer Feuchter Report

#34

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Babysitting. I babysat a few times when I was 13 or 14, and I wasn’t sure if I was just supposed to check in on the kid, or play with them, or just like, make sure they're good. I’m really good at kid-sitting, but babysitting (or for me watching a kid under 7 years old) is just hard.

Teabeany , Lina Kivaka Report

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SentimentAndBadJokes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This just comes naturally to some people I guess. I've always loved little kids, and know how to interact with them, but can relate with very few people in my own age groups. Different people relate with different folks?

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#35

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Riding a bike. I hopped on one for the first time in 15+ years and loved it! So I bought a bike. But... I don't know if I'm shifting and turning and doing the road rules correctly. Are there resources for grown adults who can stop, go, dismount, but not much else?

abqkat , Dan Zen Report

#36

Trying to save my 16 year marriage. My wife (35f) told me (35m) she wants a divorce (2 weeks before Im supposed to have spinal fusion surgery) and hopes we can figure out how to be friends for our 2 boys.

She has had a few emotional affairs (nothing physical), and is a bit of a narcissist (blames everyone else for her problems, and takes no responsibility. Accusess anyone who disagrees with her as attacking her, Refuses counseling, and has for years) and appears to be using this as a way to create content (tiktok). I freely admit, Im not perfect and have caused issues in our marriage.

therealcapthowdy Report

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She doesn’t sound worth fighting for. Cheating emotionally is way WORSE then just physically. Lust can happen, even though in a good relationship you’d never act on it, but being emotionally attached to someone else means the current relationship is done.

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#37

Thinking, every time I speak someone say how what I just said is wrong and they are right

georgeps1234 Report

#38

Programming.

I mean, I mostly understand the concepts, but I struggle and fail WAAAY more often than I succeed.

Dathouen Report

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Mohsie Supposie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We all do... Every programmer does. At least, that is how I have managed to learn programming.

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