We all romanticize something. For a long time, I wished I had lived a few centuries earlier, when things were simpler, and you didn't need to fight with your neighbors over a parking spot. But then I read about children working at factories, cholera, ridiculously bad medical care, and suddenly I wasn't too psyched about it. Who could've thought that the past wasn't as glamorous as the movies made me believe?
Turns out, talking about crooked mirrors is quite popular on Reddit. We at Bored Panda recently discovered three posts (1, 2, 3) with essentially the same question: What does society romanticize way too much? And judging from the abundance of upvotes and comments, we thought it might be a good idea to share some of the replies with you, dear Pandas. From eating disorders to workaholism, continue scrolling to check out the most popular ones and let us know if you agree with them in the comments.
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Acts of charity that shouldn't be necessary.
Like a kid who saves up their lunch money to pay their best friends medical bills or something. Sure, it's admirable, but our response shouldn't be 'awww' it should be, 'why the frick is this necessary, why are we letting our governments fail us?'
Celebrities. Fake people living fake, manufactured lives, yet the media insists that we care what they think, what they wear, who they're voting for, who they're f**king. All because they were born with some genetic gift, or born into the right family, or some other twist of fate thrust them into the limelight. It used to just be Hollywood types. Now we have this whole generation of insta models, reality stars, and other "influencers" whose only contribution to society is their shameless self promoting BS. And people eat it up. Meanwhile we have skyrocketing rates of teen depression and suicide because kids are bombarded with these impossible standards of beauty and popularity in their formative years.
Giant weddings. Why are you putting yourself into crazy debt and through a bunch of stress for a giant event you probably won't even be able to fully enjoy? Save your money, elope and buy a cool house or go take an awesome vacation.
Mental illness. It's not a fashion accessory, it's a disease none of us want to have. You're not cool, trendy or suddenly super [friggin] interesting because you claim to have a mental illness
Public marriage proposals, where the other party is basically shamed into accepting.
Marriage should be talked between both members. The idea of men asking women is just absurd. You are a couple, a team and both should talk about it.
My husband did propose to me (in private), but we'd had plenty of discussions beforehand about our future, so we both knew that it was what we wanted. The proposal was mostly a formality.
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We had talked about getting married before he proposed. And I needed to know he was going to, since I had my grandmother's wedding ring I was planning to use as mine. No engagement ring, I only wanted to wear one. And I still cried when he asked. But it was just us, no big scene and no family/friends watching.
It should be basic principle not to propose until you're 100% sure the other will accept. Though some people make it a gamble. Doing it like that in public is shameful and might be abusive
I came to this realization years after proposing on Christmas morning in front of her family. I feel guilt over the pressure I'm sure she felt to say yes. We've talked about it since, but I still feel awful.
I hope my bf doesn't do that. In fact, I don't even want to be centre of attention at my wedding.
Elope, or have a small wedding and tell everyone if they have some big announcement they want others to know to do it at your wedding party
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You should talk to your partner about it, and if they both agree then you can surprise them with the question, and it won’t matter if it’s in public. That’s what I would do.
I agree with this one. What if the person you propose to doesn't actually want to marry you? If she feels pressured into saying yes because she doesn't want to embarrass you in public ... like, wow, you're going to give away the rest of your life just to avoid one brief embarrassment? Sorry, no. I certainly wouldn't.
I hate that. To me it's an extremely private and personal affair. I'm glad my hubby did it in private
I proposed to my fiance at the gaming club we met at. We had already been discussing marriage and I knew it was something we both wanted, but i still did it by having two custom MTG made. One was called 'proposal' which put the other card called 'engagement' into his hand, which he could then play if he accepted or return to my hand if he didn't, so he had the option of turning it down quietly without being public. I got called a dickhead for beating him to it.
I think it's okay if they've already discussed getting married and the person is sure their partner will say yes. But yeah, if it comes out of nowhere, seems awfully risky.
But on the other hand......it is a blast when the guy gets publicly rejected !
These shenanigans are pathetic. I don't care who wants to marry whom, so don't make your proposal on a public platform or make it a mini-drama.
I have one of these under my belt. I brought it to his attention a few weeks later that I felt like I had to say yes, even though we had been arguing a lot that weekend. I broke it off 4 months later because I realized how controlling and manipulative he actually was after that proposal.
A saying I heard many years ago. That, you will propose will not be a surprise. When, is the surprise.
This only works if you know the person you are proposing to really wants this. But to the point of the comment, all proposals are like this. The one doing the proposing has weeks or months to think about it, the one being proposed to has only seconds. Unless of course the have talked about it together leading up to the event, which hopefully they have. A proposal should never be a surprise, the couple should have talked about a future together in depth, figure things out first.
Toxic as f**k. When they say no they are getting blamed for humiliating the person who asked. Truth is, you tried to forced them to say yes. Happy for everyone who stood their ground and said no no matter the consequences. Do what feels right. Don't let anyone manipulate you. That's not someone you want to spent the rest of your life with. Only if you know for sure that they are into that and are about to say yes then this is OK. Consent. Otherwise toxic as f**k. I would hate it.
Some people like public marriage proposals and have discussed it previously. Don’t make assumptions.
See, if you are going to propose in public, you should propose in private first, and find out if the other party is even ready yet, or interested. Then you can suprise them with something elaborate, and you know they are going to say yes, because you talked about it earlier. This makes it fun for everyone.
And the poor sod who doesn't rent out a stadium and sell his soul to Tiffany's is shamed online. Pathetic.
If people want to have their fun, who am I to tell them differently? As long as they have discussed marriage already so no one is caught off guard, I think it can be delightful.
Marriage should be talked about first because in most cases the husband has months to decide if he will propose and the wife needs to decide if she should make a life long commitment or not in a split second
Exactly. Socially speaking the woman is not allowed to say 'I need to think about it' or "I do not want to marry right now' without a huge drama. You might nt be ready or interested in marriage and still love the guy.
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We were walking in the mall and pass a jewelry store. He looks over at me & says "do ya wanna?". I said "sure" and we picked out my ring together. That was 27 years ago and we are still married
I said to him that I was fed up with having to get up out of bed to go home, and he proposed. My mother told my father that a friend had a house to share, and he proposed. Not romantic. But 61 and 34 years of happy marriage resulted.
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You know what else should be in this list? People that want to tell people what they have to do.
Cancer. I'm not brave, strong or even a hero/inspiration.
I just don't want to die.
Controlling/abusive relationships. Twilight and 50 shades I’m looking at you.
Workaholism, the grind, hustle culture. It's not for everybody, and it doesn't mean someone is a failure to not devote their life to making as much money as possible. What's the point of making money if you have no time of your own to enjoy it? I work about 55 hours a week, and I feel like I have no time at all to actually enjoy my life. I don't know how people who are constantly hustling do it.
If it's for you, cool. I'm not casting aspersions. Maybe that is how you get enjoyment out of life. That's awesome and in some ways I'm a bit envious. But it should not be some ideal or standard.
"Gangster" lifestyle. Nobody in the hood wants to be there.
Jealousy.
You know what's hot? Trust.
Depression.
There's nothing romantic about not showering for three days and forgetting what it's like to be able to feel things.
Depression is not just "not showering for three days...", you can look amazing, happy, work and still be depressed. This is too simplified description. I take good care of myself, shower every day, work, read, have hobbies, yet I was diagnosed with depression. Either there are many sides of this disease or those three doctors were wrong.
The mentality of girls “playing hard to get”. No, she’s not into you because you’re being a creep dude, not because she wants you to try harder.
Exactly! Same with people thinking they need to play games in order to "make you want them"
Eating disorders. It's not beautiful and tragic, it's just a lot of gross s**t. Like hoarding bags of chewed up food under your bed. Taking laxatives until you piss water out of your ass and you're so dehydrated you have to go to the hospital. Having dentures/implants at 30 because your teeth rotted out. Walking around in public not realizing you have vomit in your hair, which by the way, is falling out by the fistful. I remember reading one horrifying story from an ER nurse who had a patient who was literally vomiting faeces because her stool was so impacted due to constipation from her anorexia. Imagine vomiting your own s**t.
And that's not including risks like heart failure, life-threatening arrhythmias, brain atrophy, gastric rupture...
There's nothing pretty about eating disorders.
Toxic relationships and the bad boy ideology - "bad boys" may seem all cute on paper but no, you cannot fix them. It is up to the person to change and toxic relationships are a battle to make healthy. Only if the two parties are willing to sort it out then it can work out but there's nothing romantic about toxicity, it hurts and screws with your head
Having children.
Being a parent is [friggin] hard work, and kids are basically a**holes for years and years. If you're not sure you're up for the challenge, postpone it while you consider it some more.
Some people are savants when it comes to child rearing, but for most people, it's a skill you have to build, and constantly work on as your kid grows and find new ways to almost kill themselves. And even if you do everything right, life can still throw you curveballs.
Thankfully, I see more and more honesty about the darker sides of pregnancy, childbirth, parenting and economy, and I genuinely believe we are heading towards a generation of enthusiastic parents, who chose the life, rather than just letting it happen to them.
Poverty.
Growing up poor and oppressed in a third world country and climbing your way out of this hell, it is not inspirational nor heartwarming. There is nothing beautiful about having to work until you break just so you can provide. No person deserves to live this kind of life. Help, don't romanticize the poor.
Working while sick.
JUST STOP! It's not tough of you. You're not taking one for the team. You're probably about to take the whole team out.
I get it. Some workplaces have punitive policies for taking sick days (scary sidenote: like every single hospital I've ever worked). Some of us can't afford not to work that shift. But those are policy questions we should be pushing back on as soon as this administration is in the history books and we can finally get back to boring policy making again.
Stalking o.o Nothing's sexy about a guy following you around or appearing randomly everywhere you go.
The past.
No, it wasn't better. No, back in your day kids weren't better behaved. No, back in your day things weren't easier.
Ah, but you're forgetting: in the past *they* were the kids so of _course_ they were better behaved. And things *were* easier, because *they* were younger, with fewer responsibilities and the harsh realities hadn't hit them yet. Everything they think is true. For a given value of "true".
Losing your virginity...
You don't suddenly change into a whole new person once you've had sex. Teenagers should definitely not have this as a benchmark for being grown up.
Im a virgin and happy about it. Im Asexual too and i never really got the ¨Appeal¨ of it
Unnecessarily aggressive and certain spontaneous behavior, if someone throws a cup of coffee in someone else’s face simply because they don’t like the person, they aren’t cool or badass, they’re an a**hole
Ditto this for being intentionally loud and unpleasant then calling it ‘being strong’ and ‘dominant’ - it immediately says you’re too ignorant to reason or collaborate with and should be avoided
Pregnancy. It's scary, life threatening, hard, exhausting, and so many more things. I was so sick. I was sick even after delivering at 32 weeks because if I didn't she and I would have died from HELLP syndrome. Feeling her kick and wiggle was the only thing I liked about being pregnant. She's the greatest thing to ever happen to me but it was so hard and the NICU was terrifying in itself. So many people romanticize pregnancy when there isn't nothing pretty about it. The Maternal Mortality rate in this country is absolutely shameful but that seems to get over looked with most things when it comes to pregnancy.
I dunno dude, this one is subjective. Pregnancy could uncomfortable but I felt amazing most of it. That’s not to say there aren’t those who’ll experience complications. The aftermath pressure to have to entertain people while they came to see the baby, the shame I felt when my daughter refused the breast and was on formula, and the overwhelming empathy that made me so sensitive I wondered if I’d ever function in the world again was other worldly.
Gambling; because gambling isn't about James Bond playing Baccarat in Monte Carlo. It's about sad, addicted people desperately playing slot machines and losing money they don't have.
Ignorance. You've got the right to not care about the world around you, but it's not something to brag about.
Portraying a glamorous life on social media. I am so sick and tired of every single person trying to make themselves look like a foodie, fitness model and wanderlust world explorer. Just live your life people. Stop doing things for the 'gram. It doesn't care about you or how much of your life you are wasting trying to impress people. Spend more time with your spouse, friends and family and you won't regret it.
The really perverted and asinine thing about this is most of the projected image is a lie. Camera angles, Photoshop, airbrushing, lies. And all these vapid, arrogant, narcissistic fools are doing is making more people depressed by pushing it as an ideal that so few can reach.
being proud of "being bad at maths". also hating learning/education.
Chronic illness or life altering disease. People glamorize being sick in books and movies as a lesson in strength, positive outlook, and acceptance. Great values to learn but it completely ignores the constant pain, isolation, and fear that sick people face daily. People pass around feel good stories about “inspiring” people living their lives to the fullest while terminally or forever ill to make healthy and able bodied people feel grateful for what they have. I, nor anyone else in this community that I know, don’t want to be your positive inspiration porn. This life is hard and we wouldn’t choose it so stop using it for stories/media that you get to be emotional over then walk away from.
Yeah. I hate people talk about ill people as "brave", "fighters" and "they overcame their limitations and now are a CEO". Chronic illneses ruin your life, make you lose all selfrespect, often lead to poverty and isolation, most people leave you. The person I was before being ill is dead, her hopes and dreams, her skills, body wnd mind, friends...
For me, personally, it’s codependency. I always had romanticized the idea that me and my partner would fully depend on each other for every emotional and physical need, and that we would and should be able to fulfill the other persons needs. Now that I’m married I realized that if my husband and I did that with each other we would have a gross and dangerous codependent marriage.
Codependency is the destroyer of self-fulfillment and self-love. It's way healthier to be a cheerleader for your partner (for lack of better wording), in my opinion.
Note: this post originally had 65 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Real life struggles are not meant to be glamorized yet they are by many. Its disgusting.
Forgiving people who hurt you. I will never forgive my abusers, never. Forgiveness does not bring closure or peace of mind or whatever, all it does is say "lets pretend that never happened".
I think it might be more about making peace with your past than pretending it was good or never happened. Like, whatever bad things happened in the past will stay there, let's turn the page and look into the future instead.
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Marriage. Sure, it can be rewarding when both people work hard to uphold it and both truly wanted to get married for the right reasons, but too many people think all their problems will magically go away when they get married and that they don't have to work at it because a marriage license is apparently a magical document that makes everything perfect. Also, too many people get married for the wrong reasons, for instance, because they think they have to, and that it will solve all their problems.
Gender reveal parties. Why? It’s not like you can change the sex mid pregnancy.
For me it shows that the parents are really sexist. Nobody would do a party to reveal the hair colour of the baby. They do it because they have different expectations for both sexes. So they will raise the kid according to these expectations
Load More Replies... Anything that comes from Hollywood actors who live in their bubbles but pretend to be working class.Stop idolizing people who are much worse people than you.You all know people who are much more worth your admiration than some out of touch people who are just some hashtag activists.Take your parents,your nurse in the hospital,that person that smiled at you at the counter,your child,partner,your pet...They are the real deal.You don't need much more than that.Peace
People are romanticizing wars, hospitals, eating disorders, cancer… etc.??? WTF? Are you drunk, bp?
Those ¨Quirky¨ people who say they have depression. I have lived through it. It is not just crying sometimes and occasional sleepless nights. It is when that sadness, that dread, it consumes your life. You even think that suicide would be the best way out. Getting out of bed seems like a feat and just doing the bare minimum is unreachable. But yeah, you cried after reading a sad story so you are deppressed.
It is interesting how many people on BP hate kids. I have a feeling that i haven’t read on BP anything positive about kids. Wheter in posts or comments. Yes, it is hard to raise kids, but they are not a**holes, they are just kids. Just because they dont think and act like adult? Because you don’t want spend time with them? Because you are selfish and everything needs to be about you? I love my kids and even it is sometimes hard, i will never talk about them as a**holes. Grow up, stop crying on the internet and be an adult for god’s sake!
See? People with your judgamental attitude is why childfree people is so bitter online. Because we are tired of jerks calling us immature for choosing to not have children.
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Suicide. My cousin's wife committed suicide, and is from the generation where it seems to be considered a brave and even positive thing to do. 'Sleep with the angels, x, gone too soon, no longer in pain, you did your best' etc etc. No. Suicide rips the heart out of anyone who loves you, makes them feel guilt and pain for years, on top of the grief at your loss. It is a selfish and cruel thing to do.
I understand your point. But, It's not a selfish and cruel thing to do. Some people just suffer so much and they don't want to anymore. Yes, the people who love them will feel a lot of pain but they just didn't want to be in pain themselves. I think the best thing we can all do for people who are struggling is support them, research more on mental health so we can understand, and remind them why the world is better with them in it. We have to find a way to help people not commit suicide, not guilt them out of it, making them feel guilty will make things worse
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Real life struggles are not meant to be glamorized yet they are by many. Its disgusting.
Forgiving people who hurt you. I will never forgive my abusers, never. Forgiveness does not bring closure or peace of mind or whatever, all it does is say "lets pretend that never happened".
I think it might be more about making peace with your past than pretending it was good or never happened. Like, whatever bad things happened in the past will stay there, let's turn the page and look into the future instead.
Load More Replies... Marriage. Sure, it can be rewarding when both people work hard to uphold it and both truly wanted to get married for the right reasons, but too many people think all their problems will magically go away when they get married and that they don't have to work at it because a marriage license is apparently a magical document that makes everything perfect. Also, too many people get married for the wrong reasons, for instance, because they think they have to, and that it will solve all their problems.
Gender reveal parties. Why? It’s not like you can change the sex mid pregnancy.
For me it shows that the parents are really sexist. Nobody would do a party to reveal the hair colour of the baby. They do it because they have different expectations for both sexes. So they will raise the kid according to these expectations
Load More Replies... Anything that comes from Hollywood actors who live in their bubbles but pretend to be working class.Stop idolizing people who are much worse people than you.You all know people who are much more worth your admiration than some out of touch people who are just some hashtag activists.Take your parents,your nurse in the hospital,that person that smiled at you at the counter,your child,partner,your pet...They are the real deal.You don't need much more than that.Peace
People are romanticizing wars, hospitals, eating disorders, cancer… etc.??? WTF? Are you drunk, bp?
Those ¨Quirky¨ people who say they have depression. I have lived through it. It is not just crying sometimes and occasional sleepless nights. It is when that sadness, that dread, it consumes your life. You even think that suicide would be the best way out. Getting out of bed seems like a feat and just doing the bare minimum is unreachable. But yeah, you cried after reading a sad story so you are deppressed.
It is interesting how many people on BP hate kids. I have a feeling that i haven’t read on BP anything positive about kids. Wheter in posts or comments. Yes, it is hard to raise kids, but they are not a**holes, they are just kids. Just because they dont think and act like adult? Because you don’t want spend time with them? Because you are selfish and everything needs to be about you? I love my kids and even it is sometimes hard, i will never talk about them as a**holes. Grow up, stop crying on the internet and be an adult for god’s sake!
See? People with your judgamental attitude is why childfree people is so bitter online. Because we are tired of jerks calling us immature for choosing to not have children.
Load More Replies... Suicide. My cousin's wife committed suicide, and is from the generation where it seems to be considered a brave and even positive thing to do. 'Sleep with the angels, x, gone too soon, no longer in pain, you did your best' etc etc. No. Suicide rips the heart out of anyone who loves you, makes them feel guilt and pain for years, on top of the grief at your loss. It is a selfish and cruel thing to do.
I understand your point. But, It's not a selfish and cruel thing to do. Some people just suffer so much and they don't want to anymore. Yes, the people who love them will feel a lot of pain but they just didn't want to be in pain themselves. I think the best thing we can all do for people who are struggling is support them, research more on mental health so we can understand, and remind them why the world is better with them in it. We have to find a way to help people not commit suicide, not guilt them out of it, making them feel guilty will make things worse
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