We all romanticize something. For a long time, I wished I had lived a few centuries earlier, when things were simpler, and you didn't need to fight with your neighbors over a parking spot. But then I read about children working at factories, cholera, ridiculously bad medical care, and suddenly I wasn't too psyched about it. Who could've thought that the past wasn't as glamorous as the movies made me believe?
Turns out, talking about crooked mirrors is quite popular on Reddit. We at Bored Panda recently discovered three posts (1, 2, 3) with essentially the same question: What does society romanticize way too much? And judging from the abundance of upvotes and comments, we thought it might be a good idea to share some of the replies with you, dear Pandas. From eating disorders to workaholism, continue scrolling to check out the most popular ones and let us know if you agree with them in the comments.
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Acts of charity that shouldn't be necessary.
Like a kid who saves up their lunch money to pay their best friends medical bills or something. Sure, it's admirable, but our response shouldn't be 'awww' it should be, 'why the frick is this necessary, why are we letting our governments fail us?'
Celebrities. Fake people living fake, manufactured lives, yet the media insists that we care what they think, what they wear, who they're voting for, who they're f**king. All because they were born with some genetic gift, or born into the right family, or some other twist of fate thrust them into the limelight. It used to just be Hollywood types. Now we have this whole generation of insta models, reality stars, and other "influencers" whose only contribution to society is their shameless self promoting BS. And people eat it up. Meanwhile we have skyrocketing rates of teen depression and suicide because kids are bombarded with these impossible standards of beauty and popularity in their formative years.
Giant weddings. Why are you putting yourself into crazy debt and through a bunch of stress for a giant event you probably won't even be able to fully enjoy? Save your money, elope and buy a cool house or go take an awesome vacation.
Mental illness. It's not a fashion accessory, it's a disease none of us want to have. You're not cool, trendy or suddenly super [friggin] interesting because you claim to have a mental illness
Public marriage proposals, where the other party is basically shamed into accepting.
Cancer. I'm not brave, strong or even a hero/inspiration.
I just don't want to die.
Controlling/abusive relationships. Twilight and 50 shades I’m looking at you.
Workaholism, the grind, hustle culture. It's not for everybody, and it doesn't mean someone is a failure to not devote their life to making as much money as possible. What's the point of making money if you have no time of your own to enjoy it? I work about 55 hours a week, and I feel like I have no time at all to actually enjoy my life. I don't know how people who are constantly hustling do it.
If it's for you, cool. I'm not casting aspersions. Maybe that is how you get enjoyment out of life. That's awesome and in some ways I'm a bit envious. But it should not be some ideal or standard.
"Gangster" lifestyle. Nobody in the hood wants to be there.
Jealousy.
You know what's hot? Trust.
Depression.
There's nothing romantic about not showering for three days and forgetting what it's like to be able to feel things.
Depression is not just "not showering for three days...", you can look amazing, happy, work and still be depressed. This is too simplified description. I take good care of myself, shower every day, work, read, have hobbies, yet I was diagnosed with depression. Either there are many sides of this disease or those three doctors were wrong.
The mentality of girls “playing hard to get”. No, she’s not into you because you’re being a creep dude, not because she wants you to try harder.
Exactly! Same with people thinking they need to play games in order to "make you want them"
Eating disorders. It's not beautiful and tragic, it's just a lot of gross s**t. Like hoarding bags of chewed up food under your bed. Taking laxatives until you piss water out of your ass and you're so dehydrated you have to go to the hospital. Having dentures/implants at 30 because your teeth rotted out. Walking around in public not realizing you have vomit in your hair, which by the way, is falling out by the fistful. I remember reading one horrifying story from an ER nurse who had a patient who was literally vomiting faeces because her stool was so impacted due to constipation from her anorexia. Imagine vomiting your own s**t.
And that's not including risks like heart failure, life-threatening arrhythmias, brain atrophy, gastric rupture...
There's nothing pretty about eating disorders.
Toxic relationships and the bad boy ideology - "bad boys" may seem all cute on paper but no, you cannot fix them. It is up to the person to change and toxic relationships are a battle to make healthy. Only if the two parties are willing to sort it out then it can work out but there's nothing romantic about toxicity, it hurts and screws with your head
Having children.
Being a parent is [friggin] hard work, and kids are basically a**holes for years and years. If you're not sure you're up for the challenge, postpone it while you consider it some more.
Some people are savants when it comes to child rearing, but for most people, it's a skill you have to build, and constantly work on as your kid grows and find new ways to almost kill themselves. And even if you do everything right, life can still throw you curveballs.
Thankfully, I see more and more honesty about the darker sides of pregnancy, childbirth, parenting and economy, and I genuinely believe we are heading towards a generation of enthusiastic parents, who chose the life, rather than just letting it happen to them.
Poverty.
Growing up poor and oppressed in a third world country and climbing your way out of this hell, it is not inspirational nor heartwarming. There is nothing beautiful about having to work until you break just so you can provide. No person deserves to live this kind of life. Help, don't romanticize the poor.
Working while sick.
JUST STOP! It's not tough of you. You're not taking one for the team. You're probably about to take the whole team out.
I get it. Some workplaces have punitive policies for taking sick days (scary sidenote: like every single hospital I've ever worked). Some of us can't afford not to work that shift. But those are policy questions we should be pushing back on as soon as this administration is in the history books and we can finally get back to boring policy making again.
Stalking o.o Nothing's sexy about a guy following you around or appearing randomly everywhere you go.
The past.
No, it wasn't better. No, back in your day kids weren't better behaved. No, back in your day things weren't easier.
Ah, but you're forgetting: in the past *they* were the kids so of _course_ they were better behaved. And things *were* easier, because *they* were younger, with fewer responsibilities and the harsh realities hadn't hit them yet. Everything they think is true. For a given value of "true".
The "harsh realities" weren't as harsh when I was young.
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Yes. it was. it was a lot easier. I'm not sure how far back we should go with this, but hell yes it was easier in my day. (I'm 45 now)
I miss the past when facts were believed by most people. Sure, there were flat- Earthers, anti-vaxers, conspiracy theorists, etc. But they were the fringe. They mostly kept out of the public spotlight, wore their tin foil hats, and left the rest of us alone. Now, thanks to social media, they're recruiting more and more half wits and they're not even aware of how ridiculous they really are.
OMG, this annoys me so much. People's memories are so faulty. So many things have improved (or are pretty much the same) as the past. Especially how technology is ruining the next generation ... things change, get over it. Every new generation has new technology that is somehow "ruining" them, but that's what the last generation said about THEIR new technology. People who want to go back to the 50's because it was "a simpler" time don't remember how racism was so much worse, women were still a novelty in the office, women being single or not having kids wasn't widely acceptable, most people couldn't afford a car (let alone two for one family), we didn't even have computers (which society can't live without today!!), flying was a luxury, etc, etc. Get real people.
Not true. Why wouldn't we romanticize a past where you could make a living and build a house and eventually have a car even with a job you could do with high school education. I'm 37. My parents said when they were 19 it never occurred to them they wouldn't have a job, or couldn't build a house and have 3(!) children. Do you think it is that easy now?
The “good old days” were actually only good for a tiny entitled minority—-the same one that wants to bring them back now. If kids back then appeared to be better behaved, it was only because they feared being spanked for misbehaving. So many chores that have been made easy today used to be incredibly labor intensive (laundry that’s now washed and dried by machines used to be done by hand with a tub and washboard, then hung outside on a line to dry, and was an all-day chore once a week). Women and minorities were routinely harassed if they dared try to better themselves. A diagnosis of cancer was an automatic death sentence if they couldn’t cut every bit of it out of you—-and even then they had no way of knowing if they truly did. No. I prefer to look forward and hope we keep improving ourselves and our lives, instead of looking back through rose-colored glasses, especially since I know just how bad we had it back in the day.
Because some remember the “old days” fondly and with good memories doesn’t mean that they don’t also realize things change as do people (kids). Most people realize how much easier things are today but that doesn’t negate what was just as good in the “old days”.
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You're wrong on every count. Please don't tell me about a past you did NOT live.
It's amazing how many people born post-1990 think they know more about the '60s and '70s than people who actually lived them, isn't it?
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In the 1960s and early '70s, at least half of the popular music played on the radio was at least listenable if not great. Now, it's close to 100% crap.
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We tend to remember the past more positively because we don't want to remember the bad things. It does not help that older TV shows show perfect families like Leave it to Beaver. Leave it to Beaver is a idealized family. While there are families like this it is not the norm back then or now.
I know a lot of people talk about how divorce didn't happen "back then" Bulls**t! I am really into genealogy and I was amazed at just how common it was as far back as 150 years! And if you read the old newspapers crime was just as rampant then too. It's just with TV, radio, and the internet, we hear about all of it now.
I agree. I am also into genealogy. Not only divorce but also ''divorce'' where the man would simply move somewhere else and not see his wife or kids in decades. Or couples who did not married, had kids and might or might not have married later. In the 1500s in the north of spain it was super normal to marry late (like 27y) and often with one or more kids.
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It was easier in the past - we had much less to worry about. Children at schools are given tons more homework and stuff to fill their heads, teenagers aside from learning and growing up are put on a literal display (-social media, i'm talking about social media-) and have to act as if they have everything in order. There was less stress about quality of life or even getting a decent job. Elders would've not left behind because they have troubles adjusting to technology
Depends completely where you grew up. Romanticize it ....absolutely not. But the statement above is completely relative.
Back in the day, you could discipline your children if they misbehaved, now the children yell, scream & throw s**t at people, especially their parents until they give in.
Mmm i think I disagree a bit here. It was easier to get a job. It was easier to study, it was easier to own a house, or pay rent for a house, wages were higher proportionally to costs. But human behaviour, yes, it was the same.
No but we look back on our 'prime' of life wistfully. It was when WE were at our best - nnot the world or life.
What about missing the Fashion styles of the 70's or 80's? When the internet wasn't filled with click bait and ads? Before consumerism took over. Before companies started destroying the rain forest and other parts of the world for profit? That's what I miss about the past. I understand that there were other terrible things people did both too the planet and one another. I just miss some aspects of the past.
There's a lot to be said about remembering how society was not disintegrating, in the past, as it is today. There are plenty of lessons, to be learned; but, we seem to turn a blind eye to them.
I once heard an elderly man say he missed the days when tv shows and commercials didn't always have a woman or a minority. He also made an anti gay comment. How boring would things be that only have white men in them? What a sad closed off world to wish for.
When I was a kid if you started screaming in play you were told to be quiet. That has definitely changed.
Yes, they were. Period. End of story. And it has f**k all do do with me being younger then.
Well, the music and culture in general were much superior. What I don't miss is the omnipresent SMOKING.
People tend to remember good things better than bad things. It's ok, but stop telling me idealized stories about your past.
Exactly... I want to slap people, particularly all the suffering groups (looking at WOMEN) "I wished I loved back then. The clothes/music was beautiful." Slap. Sexual and civil rights weren't. War wasn't beautiful.
Well, housing was actually affordable and you had more money to put into other things, unlike now where most of your pay goes to keeping a roof over your head and you need two jobs to do it.
There were things about the past that were better and there were things that were worse. It would be simplistic to assume that EVERYTHING today is better. I wouldn't want to give up modern computers and cell phones. But I wouldn't mind getting back lower crime rates and more freedom.
Back in the day, kids who didn't behave were institutionalized, often for life.
Not so. *Really* bad kids were sometimes sent to what we called "reform school" back in those days, but could legally only be held until they turned 18.
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This just isn't true. It wasn't necessarily "easier" but the concerns of today are much scarier than back in the day.
You mean like the concerns of women having no civil rights and been seen as basically cattle? Homosexuals being imprisoned or killed or expressing love? Poor people who needed to sell their own kids because they could not feed them?
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This drives me nuts. Friends in my age group (Gen X) are now missing the 1970s and 80s. Uh.... Why?! I remember them, too. Why would I want that again? Yikes.
Great music, no social media, we were allowed more freedom...oh, and we were definitely younger/kids. I'd very much want that again and not this dystopian reality
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even the opposite - just because YOU had to go without screens as a child because they were rare and expensive doesn't make it okay to keep your kids away from screens. Screens, whether we like it or not, are going to be a big part of the future. So making sure your kid doesn't know how to write a proper email or fix a minor computer mishap it holding them back, not 'keeping away the addiction'.
YES. I hate it when my mom says things like "I feel bad for you kids these days, I had the best childhood" that's the nostalgia and innocence blinding you. Back in your day, people of color barely had rights, young innocent people were getting traumatized or killed in veitnam, homosexuality was recently taken off the list of mental illnesses and a woman could be ostracised or even arrested for wearing pants in public,
!!!! I wish I could upvote this a million times!!!! F**k the "good old days". We are still fighting for decency in a lot of areas. It sure as hell was not easier in your days. Be quiet.
Don't try to tell me I'm wrong about something you obviously never experienced. Take a seat and stuff a sock in it.
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Maybe it's not the past we miss so much but instead nostalgia for the years of our life that seem to have vanished. As children, many of us never thought about growing old. Now that we have some age on us, we reminisce about the carefree times that we've mistakenly labeled as the "good old days". As bad as those times actually were, we long for the lost years.
I think the past was better for so many things. Kids could stay kids for longer, you didn't get bullied online, or end up anorexic cos of some bullshit influencer or celebrity, and you dreamed of becoming something other than 'rich' or 'famous' from doing nothing. The internet has bought so many people together and is amazing for so many reasons, but I personally wish sometimes we could go back to how things were before it was invented and so common place.
I grew up without internet and all those things happened already. I was in a big city so I couldn't go out alone. I was bullied, had friends with eating disorder, that faced racism and homophobia etc.
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Losing your virginity...
You don't suddenly change into a whole new person once you've had sex. Teenagers should definitely not have this as a benchmark for being grown up.
Im a virgin and happy about it. Im Asexual too and i never really got the ¨Appeal¨ of it
Unnecessarily aggressive and certain spontaneous behavior, if someone throws a cup of coffee in someone else’s face simply because they don’t like the person, they aren’t cool or badass, they’re an a**hole
Ditto this for being intentionally loud and unpleasant then calling it ‘being strong’ and ‘dominant’ - it immediately says you’re too ignorant to reason or collaborate with and should be avoided
Pregnancy. It's scary, life threatening, hard, exhausting, and so many more things. I was so sick. I was sick even after delivering at 32 weeks because if I didn't she and I would have died from HELLP syndrome. Feeling her kick and wiggle was the only thing I liked about being pregnant. She's the greatest thing to ever happen to me but it was so hard and the NICU was terrifying in itself. So many people romanticize pregnancy when there isn't nothing pretty about it. The Maternal Mortality rate in this country is absolutely shameful but that seems to get over looked with most things when it comes to pregnancy.
I dunno dude, this one is subjective. Pregnancy could uncomfortable but I felt amazing most of it. That’s not to say there aren’t those who’ll experience complications. The aftermath pressure to have to entertain people while they came to see the baby, the shame I felt when my daughter refused the breast and was on formula, and the overwhelming empathy that made me so sensitive I wondered if I’d ever function in the world again was other worldly.
Gambling; because gambling isn't about James Bond playing Baccarat in Monte Carlo. It's about sad, addicted people desperately playing slot machines and losing money they don't have.
Ignorance. You've got the right to not care about the world around you, but it's not something to brag about.
Portraying a glamorous life on social media. I am so sick and tired of every single person trying to make themselves look like a foodie, fitness model and wanderlust world explorer. Just live your life people. Stop doing things for the 'gram. It doesn't care about you or how much of your life you are wasting trying to impress people. Spend more time with your spouse, friends and family and you won't regret it.
The really perverted and asinine thing about this is most of the projected image is a lie. Camera angles, Photoshop, airbrushing, lies. And all these vapid, arrogant, narcissistic fools are doing is making more people depressed by pushing it as an ideal that so few can reach.
being proud of "being bad at maths". also hating learning/education.
Chronic illness or life altering disease. People glamorize being sick in books and movies as a lesson in strength, positive outlook, and acceptance. Great values to learn but it completely ignores the constant pain, isolation, and fear that sick people face daily. People pass around feel good stories about “inspiring” people living their lives to the fullest while terminally or forever ill to make healthy and able bodied people feel grateful for what they have. I, nor anyone else in this community that I know, don’t want to be your positive inspiration porn. This life is hard and we wouldn’t choose it so stop using it for stories/media that you get to be emotional over then walk away from.
Yeah. I hate people talk about ill people as "brave", "fighters" and "they overcame their limitations and now are a CEO". Chronic illneses ruin your life, make you lose all selfrespect, often lead to poverty and isolation, most people leave you. The person I was before being ill is dead, her hopes and dreams, her skills, body wnd mind, friends...
For me, personally, it’s codependency. I always had romanticized the idea that me and my partner would fully depend on each other for every emotional and physical need, and that we would and should be able to fulfill the other persons needs. Now that I’m married I realized that if my husband and I did that with each other we would have a gross and dangerous codependent marriage.
Codependency is the destroyer of self-fulfillment and self-love. It's way healthier to be a cheerleader for your partner (for lack of better wording), in my opinion.
Note: this post originally had 65 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Real life struggles are not meant to be glamorized yet they are by many. Its disgusting.
Forgiving people who hurt you. I will never forgive my abusers, never. Forgiveness does not bring closure or peace of mind or whatever, all it does is say "lets pretend that never happened".
I think it might be more about making peace with your past than pretending it was good or never happened. Like, whatever bad things happened in the past will stay there, let's turn the page and look into the future instead.
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Marriage. Sure, it can be rewarding when both people work hard to uphold it and both truly wanted to get married for the right reasons, but too many people think all their problems will magically go away when they get married and that they don't have to work at it because a marriage license is apparently a magical document that makes everything perfect. Also, too many people get married for the wrong reasons, for instance, because they think they have to, and that it will solve all their problems.
Gender reveal parties. Why? It’s not like you can change the sex mid pregnancy.
For me it shows that the parents are really sexist. Nobody would do a party to reveal the hair colour of the baby. They do it because they have different expectations for both sexes. So they will raise the kid according to these expectations
Load More Replies... Anything that comes from Hollywood actors who live in their bubbles but pretend to be working class.Stop idolizing people who are much worse people than you.You all know people who are much more worth your admiration than some out of touch people who are just some hashtag activists.Take your parents,your nurse in the hospital,that person that smiled at you at the counter,your child,partner,your pet...They are the real deal.You don't need much more than that.Peace
People are romanticizing wars, hospitals, eating disorders, cancer… etc.??? WTF? Are you drunk, bp?
Those ¨Quirky¨ people who say they have depression. I have lived through it. It is not just crying sometimes and occasional sleepless nights. It is when that sadness, that dread, it consumes your life. You even think that suicide would be the best way out. Getting out of bed seems like a feat and just doing the bare minimum is unreachable. But yeah, you cried after reading a sad story so you are deppressed.
It is interesting how many people on BP hate kids. I have a feeling that i haven’t read on BP anything positive about kids. Wheter in posts or comments. Yes, it is hard to raise kids, but they are not a**holes, they are just kids. Just because they dont think and act like adult? Because you don’t want spend time with them? Because you are selfish and everything needs to be about you? I love my kids and even it is sometimes hard, i will never talk about them as a**holes. Grow up, stop crying on the internet and be an adult for god’s sake!
See? People with your judgamental attitude is why childfree people is so bitter online. Because we are tired of jerks calling us immature for choosing to not have children.
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Suicide. My cousin's wife committed suicide, and is from the generation where it seems to be considered a brave and even positive thing to do. 'Sleep with the angels, x, gone too soon, no longer in pain, you did your best' etc etc. No. Suicide rips the heart out of anyone who loves you, makes them feel guilt and pain for years, on top of the grief at your loss. It is a selfish and cruel thing to do.
I understand your point. But, It's not a selfish and cruel thing to do. Some people just suffer so much and they don't want to anymore. Yes, the people who love them will feel a lot of pain but they just didn't want to be in pain themselves. I think the best thing we can all do for people who are struggling is support them, research more on mental health so we can understand, and remind them why the world is better with them in it. We have to find a way to help people not commit suicide, not guilt them out of it, making them feel guilty will make things worse
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Real life struggles are not meant to be glamorized yet they are by many. Its disgusting.
Forgiving people who hurt you. I will never forgive my abusers, never. Forgiveness does not bring closure or peace of mind or whatever, all it does is say "lets pretend that never happened".
I think it might be more about making peace with your past than pretending it was good or never happened. Like, whatever bad things happened in the past will stay there, let's turn the page and look into the future instead.
Load More Replies... Marriage. Sure, it can be rewarding when both people work hard to uphold it and both truly wanted to get married for the right reasons, but too many people think all their problems will magically go away when they get married and that they don't have to work at it because a marriage license is apparently a magical document that makes everything perfect. Also, too many people get married for the wrong reasons, for instance, because they think they have to, and that it will solve all their problems.
Gender reveal parties. Why? It’s not like you can change the sex mid pregnancy.
For me it shows that the parents are really sexist. Nobody would do a party to reveal the hair colour of the baby. They do it because they have different expectations for both sexes. So they will raise the kid according to these expectations
Load More Replies... Anything that comes from Hollywood actors who live in their bubbles but pretend to be working class.Stop idolizing people who are much worse people than you.You all know people who are much more worth your admiration than some out of touch people who are just some hashtag activists.Take your parents,your nurse in the hospital,that person that smiled at you at the counter,your child,partner,your pet...They are the real deal.You don't need much more than that.Peace
People are romanticizing wars, hospitals, eating disorders, cancer… etc.??? WTF? Are you drunk, bp?
Those ¨Quirky¨ people who say they have depression. I have lived through it. It is not just crying sometimes and occasional sleepless nights. It is when that sadness, that dread, it consumes your life. You even think that suicide would be the best way out. Getting out of bed seems like a feat and just doing the bare minimum is unreachable. But yeah, you cried after reading a sad story so you are deppressed.
It is interesting how many people on BP hate kids. I have a feeling that i haven’t read on BP anything positive about kids. Wheter in posts or comments. Yes, it is hard to raise kids, but they are not a**holes, they are just kids. Just because they dont think and act like adult? Because you don’t want spend time with them? Because you are selfish and everything needs to be about you? I love my kids and even it is sometimes hard, i will never talk about them as a**holes. Grow up, stop crying on the internet and be an adult for god’s sake!
See? People with your judgamental attitude is why childfree people is so bitter online. Because we are tired of jerks calling us immature for choosing to not have children.
Load More Replies... Suicide. My cousin's wife committed suicide, and is from the generation where it seems to be considered a brave and even positive thing to do. 'Sleep with the angels, x, gone too soon, no longer in pain, you did your best' etc etc. No. Suicide rips the heart out of anyone who loves you, makes them feel guilt and pain for years, on top of the grief at your loss. It is a selfish and cruel thing to do.
I understand your point. But, It's not a selfish and cruel thing to do. Some people just suffer so much and they don't want to anymore. Yes, the people who love them will feel a lot of pain but they just didn't want to be in pain themselves. I think the best thing we can all do for people who are struggling is support them, research more on mental health so we can understand, and remind them why the world is better with them in it. We have to find a way to help people not commit suicide, not guilt them out of it, making them feel guilty will make things worse
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