Most of us would agree that the beauty of life lies in the unknown. Every day is full of uncertainty and even though sometimes it surprises you with the best things, life can also hit you with something you would never have thought could happen to you.
Recently, one Reddit user asked people to name something 'Nobody is ever prepared for' and the answers are well... something you are definitely not prepared for. From childbirth to sharts, these answers prove that life is full of experiences nobody can prepare you for.
Scroll down to read some unexpected responses! (Facebook cover image: Officer Bimblebury)
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Being raped.
Sure, you know it as a concept, a horrible concept that happens to other people. And then it happens to you, and there is no way to be ready for how it will make you feel like you are nothing more than an orifice. Like you are worthless and disgusting. How you will be terrified of men for years and not let anyone touch you. How you will try to date and eventually give up because you can't feel anything.
How your heart will start to race anytime you see a car that looks like his, or walk past someone on the street who vaguely looks like him. You could be thousands of miles away, but that fear is still there.
Living with chronic pain. It's not something you can understand unless you deal with it yourself. And it's not just the pain that wears you down. It's the isolation, losing the ability to do things you love, and watching your life slip through your fingers like sand.
It was around the time I became good enough to crawl on the ceiling at the climbing hall that I started feeling pain in my back. Now, it's common in this sport to overwork yourself, but this pain didn't go away as all the others preceding it. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and I grew very worried indeed. After long hours at different medical buildings, I got a permission for NMR and was diagnosed with a slipped disk. I can still climb, fortunately, but I'd likely never be as good as I would've been if I didn't have slipped disk and climbing upside down like I used to is out of the question. And it's not just climbing, while the doctor was very happy with my level of activity and encouraged it, he reminded me that every sport now carried a risk. It doesn't seem like a big deal compared to all the sufferings other people with chronic pain have to tolerate daily, but it really hurt me that just when I found my sport, this sh*t happened. Destiny seems to love pranking me. :(
Tyranny of the majority.
In school, if you got a question right that most of the other people got wrong, you were praised for being smart.
In real life, if everyone else around you believes something wrong, it simply becomes right.
When you don't see your parents often anymore and they get noticeably older each visit
Realizing that making and keeping friends is extremely hard. People drift apart pretty easy.
Burying their child. I have a few stories, but any way you cut it, some of the most rational people I know have buried their own kids and I don't think anything before or after, no level of therapy can make you the same again. A family friend's son was basically executed because his roommate was selling weed and some assholes decided to kill them for all of a couple ounces of fucking marijuana. A decade later, they put on a face, but you can tell they're still just going through the motions. It's heartbreaking, there's nothing you can say that I'm sure they haven't already heard a thousand times from well wishing friends/family, it'll just never be the same.
The first time you go to jail. Aside from the 'oh shit' feeling you have about whatever landed you there, there's the realization that you can't leave. It sounds really obvious, but think about it: in the vast majority of places and situations you find yourself in, you can leave. It might not be wise, it might not be right, and it might have consequences, but you have that option. You're used to having so many possibilities in your day to day that you don't really think about it. Until it gets taken away. You mostly get used to it with time, but nobody is prepared the first time.
Also, having someone you know go to jail for the first time - nothing prepares you for the feeling of loss, having to meet with a wall of glass between you, the reality life will never be the same again. And it's not your fault, but somehow you've been swept into the uncontrollable, unfathomable machine of the justice system. Thinking of anyone who is facing that today <3
Watching a parent slowly slip away. I'm currently holding the hand of my dying mother. Two weeks ago she had a massive stroke. She is currently in a coma like state in a hospice facility. She will never recover, just slowly slip away a little more every day. It pains me to see her in this current state. I talk to her as if she was normal, as they say hearing is the last sense you loose. I reassure her everything is ok and there is nothing to worry about, but I leave the room sometimes just to cry.
Alzheimer’s and Demetria. Now imagine that you didn’t know anything that you knew before. It all suddenly is just so far away for you to remember. What if your mother, someone who gave birth to and raised you suddenly forgot who you are or confused you for someone else. That honestly scares me more than death. The sum of everything that people did with their lives is really on held in your memory, material is temporary and can easily be destroyed or taken. But imagine your on your death bed and you die only knowing a few of any details of your life. Imagine if your child came up to say hi and you couldn’t recognize who they were and you thought they were a stranger. Imagine the hurt they would feel. Alzheimer’s is one of those things that really hurts everyone around you. It’s like your body is their but a whole bother person is occupying it and your not their anymore. You're not you anymore.
The worst part is that people with Alzheimer's often fully realise what's happening to them. Imagine starting to forget everything, first your freshest memories disappear, then you are slowly robbed off your fondest, most special memories and finally even the oldest ones are gone. As a person, who deeply values the power of the mind and is disappointed by it's lack of importance to today's society ideals, one of my greatest fears is precisely this: diseases that affect your mental abilities. If this ever happens to me, I would likely jump off somewhere at it's very beginning, because the misery would likely kill me before the disease does. I'm a loser, much like any average person alone and without my imagination, memories, crazy ideas and following of the road less travelled, I would be no one.
Exactly. I never thought about this until I watched it with my MIL. She was a beautiful, brilliant person living with the horror of knowing she was slowly losing her memories and abilities. Even then, she was still one of the most amazing people I've known. I still miss her every day :'(
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I've actually seen what's worse than dementia/Alzheimer's. Having a mind as sharp as ever and your body doesn't work anymore and no one comes to see you in the nursing home. My grandfather had Alzheimer's and I went to see him once a week. There was this lady that still had every bit of her faculties, but really couldn't move from illness. She lay in her bed all day, not able to even shift herself or work a TV remote, and never had visitors. She lay by the nurses station and the staff would talk with her. I made a point of visiting with her every time I visited my grandfather. After she passed the nurses told me that I was the highlight of her week. So, yeah. If I'm losing my mind, I guess I don't care, I wouldn't know it and would not miss what I didn't remember. I'd rather have my mind gone than my mind there and my body gone. I think that would be a bigger hell.
My husband's father had Alzheimer's and stage 4 lung cancer. During his final months, his wife (my husband's mother) unexpectedly passed away. Whenever we went to visit him he would ask how she was and if he could see her (she had been in a different room at the long term care facility they both resided at), so we would have to retell him that she had passed away. Watching him relive it was some of the hardest experiences I have ever had. That and the day he realized he was never going home again. It was so hard to watch and broke my heart over and over again.
I was definitely NOT prepared for my mother to be diagnosed with both. She was the strongest , most independent , confident person I had ever met.The worst thing is seeing who they are now compared to who they used to be. It is not the same person who raised me, she is an empty shell of who she was before. The double edged sword : You do not want to see your mother like this, so you hardly visit. .. You feel guilty about not visiting. Then you feel bad after you went for a visit because seeing your mother like that is too hard... Mourning someone who is still alive...
I remember 50 years ago clearly. Yesterday, not so much. PTSD from wartime started stealing my memories 30 years ago. I'm left with shreds of my life.
My mum died of Alzheimers. From the mid stages she seemed to go into a calm state. She was unaware from that point onwards what was happening to her. She was in a care home but convinced she was living in her own home. Yes she stopped recognising us but that was distressing for us, not for her. I am grateful for this at least.
I had a client with Alzheimer. She used to swim everyday, unless it was thundering. She would wander around and look at the pool. She told me, once, one of the last times she felt herself, she felt drawn to the pool, but couldn't figure out WHY she felt drawn to it. She would feel drawn to other things too. As she got worse she acted out more because she was practically going mad from being drawn to things or people and knowing the WHY. It was very sad to watch.
My father died at 57 from early on set Alzheimer's. It is a evil and cruel disease. I wish no one would ever have to deal with that lose.
I watched a video on dementiafriendly.org.au and a sufferer said “Please don’t give up on me. I’m still in here”. It made me so sad I cried.
My grandmum has dementia, living in an elderly home after my grandfather passed away. She has her good days where she knows everything. And other days when she thinks she just visiting a friend in the elderly home and will go home soon. I visit her whenever I can, but I’m always scared she won’t know who I am. Last time I went, she knew who I was but was convinced I had children (my brothers do, I don’t) so... I know she can’t help it and it just hurts to see her like this. (Health is also declining, problems with heart etc... she could live another 10 years or she might pass away tonight... )
My father was really, really afraid that this was starting to happen to him. That's one of the reasons why I'm not too sad that he passed. I'm lonely, I miss him a lot, but I'm not sad... he passed away quietly in his sleep suddenly, just like he always said he wanted. He was in physical pain, depressed and afraid of wasting away... I know he passed in the best way possible and must be very satisfied with it.
i'm a live-in carer and i looked after many people with Alzheimers. Horrible thing is, that When the person is gone, the family is left with a living body, that is simply someone else. As a living memory. They look the same, but the memories, which define relationships, are gone and you're stranger to them. The only thing i can imagine worse than that is, when the patient is slipping into Alzheimers. In the begining they realize that something is wrong. That they have "windows" in their day. Some of them fill out missing time with made up memories. Then comes confusion and delusions. One of my ladies was constantly worried(quite an understatement) that someone wants to rob her, or even rape her. She was all the time convinced that "he" is hiding behind the curtains or under her bed. She lived in constant fear and distress.
The road from getting days of the week mixed up to slow starvation, because they don't understand the mere concept of swallowing, or if they are lucky, pleumonia, that will release them quicker from this misery, that road can be scary and cruel. I agree, that people should have the right to choose quick, painless death, over years and years in fear and even pain.
Load More Replies... i'm going to be the horrible senseless person and i will point out, that mixing "there" and "their" and "you're" and "your" cringes me.
And nothing about Demetria versus dementia, I understand the finger slip/auto correct, but still funny.
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My mom has Alzheimer, and had a very hard life. Since the symptoms started appearing, she's happier than ever, like all her bad memories disappeared. Can't remember my dad cheating on her, all her family losses, the really really bad times she went through 20 years ago. Idk what to think...
Googling an old ex to see how she's doing these days since you haven't spoken to her in over 7 years, and finding her obituary online.
It took my brain a good 5 minutes to actually process and acknowledge that the picture of her that came up was from a funeral home website.
Finding out your SO is cheating on you.
That sort of betrayal of trust is brutal and even if you suspect something, you still want to believe it's not true.
Unexpected layoffs. You'll never feel safe at work ever again! :)
"We need to talk"
The loss of a sibling.
I lost my brother a couple months ago and while he was sick we never saw his passing as a reality. It hit the whole family like a truck. None of us are the same and likely will never be the same.
The family dynamic has completely changed, the roles we had filled for the past 30 years all shifted. We're all adrift. We're all flailing. We're all seeking to fill the void of his presence.
No amount of accepting it will change these things. There is a void in our family that only he could fill. We were not, are not, and will not be prepared for dealing with it without him.
This hit me really hard... same thing happened in our family and we have never been the same. It sucks and there is not one day that I don't think of him, the moments that will never be.
Come home, Wife is gone. Kids gone. She took them and left the state.
I've known folks that had come home from deployment and were completely wiped out, bank account, possessions, kids, even their off-base apartment was gone. These had been women as well as men. The SO had power of attorney and ran with it.
Sudden disability. Its been almost a decade and I still don’t feel like I fully grasp it and how it changes everything lol...
I just talked to a classmate that's in a wheelchair. He told me stories about when he worked with the police. I asked him how he ended up in the wheelchair. It was a swimming accident where his head hit the bottom of the pool. He likes the fact that I treat him like any other person. I don't automatically do everything for him..I wait until he asks..that way he holds onto some independence. He's a cool guy. He would've made a great police officer.
Childbirth. I just had my daughter five days ago. I thought I was prepared for labor, but holy s*it, back labor is the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life. No amount of mental preparation would have made me ready for that. On the plus, my husband finally won the argument of two kids (our daughter is his second) vs. three kids. Because I’m never doing that shit again.
Also, the never ending anxiety of “can I keep a completely vulnerable and fragile human alive today”?
Coming to grips with your own mortality. It just hits you some day that you're going to die, and eventually will be forgotten.
Aint nobody ready for that.
For a lot of people, me included, death isn't a scary thing, its one of the only guarantees in life, doesn't scare me or freak me out whatsoever. Bring it on.
The feelings of your first true heartbreak. That felt like nothing I've ever felt before. Couldn't eat or sleep for a week and the effects have lasted months after. I've had love before but it took me til 28 to truly feel heartbreak like this.
Yep agree, i was 20 when it happened, didn't think it would hurt so much.
A shart.
Thankyou for some excellent comedic relief in an otherwise morbid column. I laughed so hard.
Breezing through high school with high grades without even trying then getting to university and realizing you can't do that anymore but you literally have no idea how not to. You don't have the discipline to study properly let alone know how to study properly.
I'm like this with jobs to an extent... I have no idea how to look for a job. Most jobs I had people came for me. I don't know how do you even figure out whether they need anyone in my profession since ads aren't too common.
Somebody oversharing their life details in the first 5 minutes of meeting you
I am the queen of oversharing. Not sure why I do it. I guess I just like to get everything out there from the start so we can all quickly determine if we want to continue being around each other. Or I just don't care what people know about me because I don't care what the reaction will be. If you don't like what I say in the first five minutes then there isn't much chance of us seeing each other again.
Toast popping up from a toaster when it's done. S*it gets me every time.
Or when you open the camera on your phone and it's set on the front camera and you see your face.
Honestly probably another large recession. Most people don't have very much money saved...so I can't even imagine how badly that would devastate the country.
The lifestyle change from becoming a full time student to full time worker. It's been a year, i feel as if i'm still adjusting.
It will take longer than that my friend, work life sucks, its the least fun part of life.
The first time your toddler drops an F*bomb. You don't know whether to laugh, scold them or pretend it didn't happen and hope it never does again.
Winning the mega-millions/billions lottery. I've read many stories about how it ruined people's lives.
First apartment. Not that it's a bad thing, but all the reading in the world, and you'll still forget to buy one random item that'll f**k your night up.
For me, a can opener. Didn't have a goddamn can opener!
Winter. It happens every year and people always forget how to deal with it. I live in Alaska and people have been here for years and don't even have winter costs or boots. Don't even get me started on driving when it snows that's a whole different can of worms.
What? I live in Saskatchewan and people here do forget how to drive every year - it takes about a week to re-familiarize yourself with braking and the shifted lanes - but we don't have any other issues with winter. I mean, people wear their fall coats a little longer than they probably should because we're hoping it'll warm up again (the weather often shifts around a lot in September to mid November) but that's about it.
Turning the lights on after waking up in the middle of the night.
Getting caught lying. Most people only lie cause they think they are good at it and that the truth won’t come out.
When you cheat in your girlfriends dreams.
RUN! BUY FLOWERS! BUY CHOCOLATES! BUY GIFTS! Apologize profusely for something you did in her dreams. You MAY ... I emphasize MAY get some mercy.
The death of the first dog you own as an adult, it was the most profound sadness i ever felt and it was a bummer, i had him for 15 years and loved him more than anything, when he died of cancer it surprised me how immensely heartbroken i was, i was even signed off of work for 2 weeks, it was so horrible.
You have just posted my number one fear; I cannot even momentarily consider losing my American Bulldog, a rescue that I didn't even want and now love more than anything in the world.
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Bullying. You think you have it figured out, you think it will never happen to you. You're just there... doing your thing, living life, being yourself... and suddenly, just because of ONE bored person, you become a target to make fun of. And it turns into this wave and chain reaction of insults, rejection, and laughs, and more and more people take part of it. And you don't understand why. If you didn't do ANYTHING to them, why do they pick on you? Why do they show you so much hate? Why you? And nothing seems to please them: you being you, you trying to be someone else... doesn't matter: you're a joke to them. And it's like you're haunted, because no matter where you go or hide... you're being chased by the people and what they said to you. Stucked in your head.
Bullies like that control. You can't control their behavior, you can only control how you react. Of course, that's easier said than done. I was bullied (verbally and physically) in middle school.
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The near loss of a friend, when a person you know attempts suicide and you don't know whats happening and all you know is vague, it's something no one could ever prepare you for
Sadly i also know what this is like, my best friend of 25 years killed himself in 2016, he was living away at the time and i wish i was there for him, he would call me when he was down and normally that would be enough for him and he would snap out of it sometimes, this time i didn't even get the call, it was the next day his mum called me and her voice was cracking and i knew right away, he had bouts of depression throughout his life so not completely unexpected but he was happy a lot of the time. I will never know why that particular day, why he didn't call me and it f****n kills me, RIP Greg, i will always love you mate.
Load More Replies... I've read through this whole thing... and no one said it. The aftermath of a suicide attempt. You suddenly think "why did I do that?" It's taken me 7 months to come to terms with it. And I'm still struggling with processing that. The first 3 weeks after I couldn't stop crying. I didn't know how to function after it. Still don't, really.
I am happy you are alive,your life may be s****y but you achieved a huge victory.You 1 Death 0.Dont expect big things to happen right now,just take small baby steps.I wish you luck and a happy future life.
Load More Replies... In fact, we cannot be prepared for many, many bad (and also a few good) things happening in life. We must try to be resilient. Robustness, as believed by many, will not do the trick if life hits too hard.
What you need most at those times is good and loyal friends.
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This happened 2 days ago.. As I was browsing through some old photos in my old sd card, I saw a picture of my father from 4 yrs ago. He looked so much younger in that shot than he is now... He's still 46 but he looks 10 years older now. My father is an extremely insecured man with a lot of issues. He feels like he's not a part of our family or we don't care about him. That's what he always says whenever he's drunk. We love him and I'm wondering why he never feels such or maybe our affection is not enough. I cried seconds after I saw that photo thinking that maybe he carried too much emotional burden through the years while living with us.
I don't fear death but I'm afraid of dementia. At 50-something I've started to think about prevention.
That was my grandmother’s biggest fear. That and being a burden on anybody. Her mind stayed sharp but her body failed her.
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When a medical exam reveals you have cancer, the first thing will come to your mind is "Why me", and despite 98% of cases can now resolved with a variety of therapies, the efforts people will put on you, medical staff and familiars, will not help but thinking something wrong with the fact you got it.
I would like to add one as well: being hit by a huge shockwave. I was very close to the AZF factory in Toulouse when it blew up in 2001. I remember the feeling of complete loss of direction. I just didn't know were I was for a few seconds, so strong was the shock. It rocked me to the core and it took me years not to be scared of loud sounds.
Being in a relationship where you get abused in every way you can think off. People think it is easy to just leave, but it ain't. 3 years gone by and I still don't trust people, I still deal with a lot of trauma's and my self-confidence is still at a low. His words are still in my head and for a while I even missed the pain of him hitting/kicking/other things, because that would ease the mental pain. I would have died there, if it wasn't for my son. But I never thought I was going to get in such a relationship and mostly how hard it is to leave. Everyone said just leave him.. Why do you stay?.. Well, because that's your life, that's what you know, you have no self confidence, probably a shamed, maybe in denial (it's not so bad or it's my own fault), you have put everything in the relationship and like me I didn't have anywhere to go, because I lost all contact with everyone. It is like an addiction and it's so hard to get out of..
Sometimes what you know, even how bad it is, feels saver then starting a new life. I really believe there should be more prevention about this. That's why I use my experience to help others and I'm studying to be a social worker.
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Being severely burnt. When I was ~2, my birth mother's brother-in-law was babysitting me and deliberately forced my arm on a gas stove burner, and burnt my right wrist. I don't know what I had done to make him think that that was how I should be punished, but after that, I avoided candles, gas stoves, lighters, matches, sparklers, etc. for decades. No one is prepared for the pain of a 3rd degree burn. I thought back on this after I saw the video of what happened to those poor people in Paradise, CA who'd been trapped in the Camp fire. I couldn't even begin to imagine what those doomed souls went through, and them unable to escape.
Watching a loved one succumb to a mental disorder/disease. It's heartbreaking and I can't even think of the right words to explain how it feels.
These all had one thing in common, they demonstrated how similar we are in being human beings.
Psychological abuse such as gaslighting, manipulation and verbal abuse. It makes you doubt everything about yourself. "Did I say it wrong?", "Did I not remember it right?", "Am I a bad person?". It's the type of abuse most people will brush off because it isn't a direct cause of physical pain. You just need to "grow up and harden yourself" against the quote on quote "real world". Let me reassure you, psychological abuse is a real thing and if you think you're currently experiencing it, seek help immediately. Don't let your self-esteem be wrecked away until there's nothing left of you. Everyone deserves a happier life and deserves to be powerful in their own way. Most importantly, everyone deserves to be themselves. You're not wrong for being the way you are.
The loss of a parent to gun violence. I was 15 at the time and the thought of losing a parent was so painful, and sudden my brain went in to shut down, a protective type of amnesia. For about 5 years, I have no memories of my day to day existence. Don't remember my 16th birthday, graduating from High School (yet I managed to be in the top 10 of my class), moving to my 1st apartment. All gone. My heart goes out to anyone else who has lost a member of their family to gun violence. I do all I can to advocate for safer gun laws. I hope some day we won't hear about a mass shooting when we turn on the news. Something must be done to get donor influence out of the pockets of our politicians. It's a life or death matter.
So much sadness, how about the unexpected joy of falling in love? I wasn't looking for anyone to fill any supposed void in my life. I was a fairly happy single mother raising an autistic son on my own when HE came along. We played trivia in a bar (during the day on weekends when I'd take my son to lunch) for three years before actually meeting. It'll be 17 years in January since our first date. No one prepares you for finding or losing a loved one. Just thought I'd throw a happy one in the mix!
Anxiety. Everyone treats it like a joke, but it's horrible. Feels like dying so many times during one day.
I feel 'ya. I've had super bad anxiety and depression for nearly all my life, and it's HORRIBLE. Worse than words can describe. I open my mouth to talk, and all the happens is tears. And what's worse is people reassuring you but really only brushing away your feelings. For example, if someone says there is nothing to worry about, they could make you feel like your emotions don't matter.
Load More Replies... I'm gonna add something to complement those... and also to see if more people can relate: not feeling what you think you would/should feel when something big happens. Not being as nearly as sad as you think you should when you lose someone, not feeling anything when you kiss/have sex with someone you thought you were in love with, not get nearly as excited when that thing you thought you really wanted happen etc You know how you should be feeling, how you thought you would feel, and yet you don't. And you don't know how to react... specially when it also concerns others. Should you fake it? Should you be honest? What now?
Ok I'll post a happy one! Finding true love! I was completely not expecting it. I was a very lonely person. Never in a relationship before. I was 21. Then I met him one day. It seemed uneventful at the time. But he called five days later and we went out for coffee. What was nothing turned into something. Here we are five and a half years later and married.
When your crush doesn't feel the same way as you. Also, when a guy leads you on, and one day you find out he's seriously seeing another girl. Luckily he and I were never together, but he certainly acted like we were going to be. We'd talk and text all the time. He invited me out. Put his arm around me. It was a serious heartbreak for me. He was much older than me, which I know sounds weird, but the feelings were there nonetheless. Nowadays I don't care at all. Met an awesome guy a year after this happened, and now we're married.
Death of a pet. Four years ago my tabby cat died very suddenly from an enlarged heart. One day he didn't eat and was meowing terribly. Two days later, he died. Boom. Just like that. Worst shock of my life. Absolute worst. It's something he was born with and I had no way of knowing he had it. I found out on the X-ray minutes before his death. He was my baby. My best friend. We were so close and in-tune with each other. Miss him all the time. It pains me to type this.
Having something stolen. I got into my car one morning and reached down to turn up the volume on the radio. I couldn't find the k**b. I looked down and saw a big hole in the dash. I kept looking and wondering where the radio was.
That happened to me too. And it was totally bizarre. For some reason the immidiate reaction wasn't to think thief, but to wonder how the radio fell out and where it went. I even checked under my seat.
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Finding out you;re dealing with a mental illness. I was diagnosed with Bi-polar one and PTSD around ten-years ago. To have to deal with this new reality is hard and stark at times. I have to fight a new monster in my life and I wasn't ready to deal with that. I'm still struggling to adjust to that. Plus, I have to face all kinds of bigotry even from my own family. Some of them won't even allow me to watch their children anymore. I'm not dangerous. I'm just dealing with a chemical imbalance in my head. I have a medical condition, just like people who have diabetes or heart disease. As long as I take my meds and go to therapy, I am fine.
Some of these items are awful, but they aren't something you prepare .... Like sure nothing prepares you for getting hit by a car... but that should go without saying... unless you are a stunt guy. Like you mentally prepare for a first child or leaving school or losing a loved one.
Me too - cant touch an inflated baloon - dont want them near me. Stems from a childhood organised Xmas party where one of the games was we had to take turns running to a chair and sitting on the ballon on top to pop it. Hurts your legs in a little short dress when you are7/8 - was screaming and refusing to do it by the 4th/5th time
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Fart by accident in the wrong place at the wrong time and with the wrong company.
Haha i did that recently, i work on the 5th floor, i was coming down in the lift (elevator) and had to let a big one rip only for the lift to stop on the 3rd floor and 2 ladies get in, nothing was said but i know it frikkin stunk in there and they obviously knew it was me, lol.
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3 happiest things this week, my sister had her first child my first nephew, went to a Slayer concert and took my old nan out for some sunday lunch.
Load More Replies... The death of the first dog you own as an adult, it was the most profound sadness i ever felt and it was a bummer, i had him for 15 years and loved him more than anything, when he died of cancer it surprised me how immensely heartbroken i was, i was even signed off of work for 2 weeks, it was so horrible.
You have just posted my number one fear; I cannot even momentarily consider losing my American Bulldog, a rescue that I didn't even want and now love more than anything in the world.
Load More Replies... Bullying. You think you have it figured out, you think it will never happen to you. You're just there... doing your thing, living life, being yourself... and suddenly, just because of ONE bored person, you become a target to make fun of. And it turns into this wave and chain reaction of insults, rejection, and laughs, and more and more people take part of it. And you don't understand why. If you didn't do ANYTHING to them, why do they pick on you? Why do they show you so much hate? Why you? And nothing seems to please them: you being you, you trying to be someone else... doesn't matter: you're a joke to them. And it's like you're haunted, because no matter where you go or hide... you're being chased by the people and what they said to you. Stucked in your head.
Bullies like that control. You can't control their behavior, you can only control how you react. Of course, that's easier said than done. I was bullied (verbally and physically) in middle school.
Load More Replies... The near loss of a friend, when a person you know attempts suicide and you don't know whats happening and all you know is vague, it's something no one could ever prepare you for
Sadly i also know what this is like, my best friend of 25 years killed himself in 2016, he was living away at the time and i wish i was there for him, he would call me when he was down and normally that would be enough for him and he would snap out of it sometimes, this time i didn't even get the call, it was the next day his mum called me and her voice was cracking and i knew right away, he had bouts of depression throughout his life so not completely unexpected but he was happy a lot of the time. I will never know why that particular day, why he didn't call me and it f****n kills me, RIP Greg, i will always love you mate.
Load More Replies... I've read through this whole thing... and no one said it. The aftermath of a suicide attempt. You suddenly think "why did I do that?" It's taken me 7 months to come to terms with it. And I'm still struggling with processing that. The first 3 weeks after I couldn't stop crying. I didn't know how to function after it. Still don't, really.
I am happy you are alive,your life may be s****y but you achieved a huge victory.You 1 Death 0.Dont expect big things to happen right now,just take small baby steps.I wish you luck and a happy future life.
Load More Replies... In fact, we cannot be prepared for many, many bad (and also a few good) things happening in life. We must try to be resilient. Robustness, as believed by many, will not do the trick if life hits too hard.
What you need most at those times is good and loyal friends.
Load More Replies... This happened 2 days ago.. As I was browsing through some old photos in my old sd card, I saw a picture of my father from 4 yrs ago. He looked so much younger in that shot than he is now... He's still 46 but he looks 10 years older now. My father is an extremely insecured man with a lot of issues. He feels like he's not a part of our family or we don't care about him. That's what he always says whenever he's drunk. We love him and I'm wondering why he never feels such or maybe our affection is not enough. I cried seconds after I saw that photo thinking that maybe he carried too much emotional burden through the years while living with us.
I don't fear death but I'm afraid of dementia. At 50-something I've started to think about prevention.
That was my grandmother’s biggest fear. That and being a burden on anybody. Her mind stayed sharp but her body failed her.
Load More Replies... When a medical exam reveals you have cancer, the first thing will come to your mind is "Why me", and despite 98% of cases can now resolved with a variety of therapies, the efforts people will put on you, medical staff and familiars, will not help but thinking something wrong with the fact you got it.
I would like to add one as well: being hit by a huge shockwave. I was very close to the AZF factory in Toulouse when it blew up in 2001. I remember the feeling of complete loss of direction. I just didn't know were I was for a few seconds, so strong was the shock. It rocked me to the core and it took me years not to be scared of loud sounds.
Being in a relationship where you get abused in every way you can think off. People think it is easy to just leave, but it ain't. 3 years gone by and I still don't trust people, I still deal with a lot of trauma's and my self-confidence is still at a low. His words are still in my head and for a while I even missed the pain of him hitting/kicking/other things, because that would ease the mental pain. I would have died there, if it wasn't for my son. But I never thought I was going to get in such a relationship and mostly how hard it is to leave. Everyone said just leave him.. Why do you stay?.. Well, because that's your life, that's what you know, you have no self confidence, probably a shamed, maybe in denial (it's not so bad or it's my own fault), you have put everything in the relationship and like me I didn't have anywhere to go, because I lost all contact with everyone. It is like an addiction and it's so hard to get out of..
Sometimes what you know, even how bad it is, feels saver then starting a new life. I really believe there should be more prevention about this. That's why I use my experience to help others and I'm studying to be a social worker.
Load More Replies... Being severely burnt. When I was ~2, my birth mother's brother-in-law was babysitting me and deliberately forced my arm on a gas stove burner, and burnt my right wrist. I don't know what I had done to make him think that that was how I should be punished, but after that, I avoided candles, gas stoves, lighters, matches, sparklers, etc. for decades. No one is prepared for the pain of a 3rd degree burn. I thought back on this after I saw the video of what happened to those poor people in Paradise, CA who'd been trapped in the Camp fire. I couldn't even begin to imagine what those doomed souls went through, and them unable to escape.
Watching a loved one succumb to a mental disorder/disease. It's heartbreaking and I can't even think of the right words to explain how it feels.
These all had one thing in common, they demonstrated how similar we are in being human beings.
Psychological abuse such as gaslighting, manipulation and verbal abuse. It makes you doubt everything about yourself. "Did I say it wrong?", "Did I not remember it right?", "Am I a bad person?". It's the type of abuse most people will brush off because it isn't a direct cause of physical pain. You just need to "grow up and harden yourself" against the quote on quote "real world". Let me reassure you, psychological abuse is a real thing and if you think you're currently experiencing it, seek help immediately. Don't let your self-esteem be wrecked away until there's nothing left of you. Everyone deserves a happier life and deserves to be powerful in their own way. Most importantly, everyone deserves to be themselves. You're not wrong for being the way you are.
The loss of a parent to gun violence. I was 15 at the time and the thought of losing a parent was so painful, and sudden my brain went in to shut down, a protective type of amnesia. For about 5 years, I have no memories of my day to day existence. Don't remember my 16th birthday, graduating from High School (yet I managed to be in the top 10 of my class), moving to my 1st apartment. All gone. My heart goes out to anyone else who has lost a member of their family to gun violence. I do all I can to advocate for safer gun laws. I hope some day we won't hear about a mass shooting when we turn on the news. Something must be done to get donor influence out of the pockets of our politicians. It's a life or death matter.
So much sadness, how about the unexpected joy of falling in love? I wasn't looking for anyone to fill any supposed void in my life. I was a fairly happy single mother raising an autistic son on my own when HE came along. We played trivia in a bar (during the day on weekends when I'd take my son to lunch) for three years before actually meeting. It'll be 17 years in January since our first date. No one prepares you for finding or losing a loved one. Just thought I'd throw a happy one in the mix!
Anxiety. Everyone treats it like a joke, but it's horrible. Feels like dying so many times during one day.
I feel 'ya. I've had super bad anxiety and depression for nearly all my life, and it's HORRIBLE. Worse than words can describe. I open my mouth to talk, and all the happens is tears. And what's worse is people reassuring you but really only brushing away your feelings. For example, if someone says there is nothing to worry about, they could make you feel like your emotions don't matter.
Load More Replies... I'm gonna add something to complement those... and also to see if more people can relate: not feeling what you think you would/should feel when something big happens. Not being as nearly as sad as you think you should when you lose someone, not feeling anything when you kiss/have sex with someone you thought you were in love with, not get nearly as excited when that thing you thought you really wanted happen etc You know how you should be feeling, how you thought you would feel, and yet you don't. And you don't know how to react... specially when it also concerns others. Should you fake it? Should you be honest? What now?
Ok I'll post a happy one! Finding true love! I was completely not expecting it. I was a very lonely person. Never in a relationship before. I was 21. Then I met him one day. It seemed uneventful at the time. But he called five days later and we went out for coffee. What was nothing turned into something. Here we are five and a half years later and married.
When your crush doesn't feel the same way as you. Also, when a guy leads you on, and one day you find out he's seriously seeing another girl. Luckily he and I were never together, but he certainly acted like we were going to be. We'd talk and text all the time. He invited me out. Put his arm around me. It was a serious heartbreak for me. He was much older than me, which I know sounds weird, but the feelings were there nonetheless. Nowadays I don't care at all. Met an awesome guy a year after this happened, and now we're married.
Death of a pet. Four years ago my tabby cat died very suddenly from an enlarged heart. One day he didn't eat and was meowing terribly. Two days later, he died. Boom. Just like that. Worst shock of my life. Absolute worst. It's something he was born with and I had no way of knowing he had it. I found out on the X-ray minutes before his death. He was my baby. My best friend. We were so close and in-tune with each other. Miss him all the time. It pains me to type this.
Having something stolen. I got into my car one morning and reached down to turn up the volume on the radio. I couldn't find the k**b. I looked down and saw a big hole in the dash. I kept looking and wondering where the radio was.
That happened to me too. And it was totally bizarre. For some reason the immidiate reaction wasn't to think thief, but to wonder how the radio fell out and where it went. I even checked under my seat.
Load More Replies... Finding out you;re dealing with a mental illness. I was diagnosed with Bi-polar one and PTSD around ten-years ago. To have to deal with this new reality is hard and stark at times. I have to fight a new monster in my life and I wasn't ready to deal with that. I'm still struggling to adjust to that. Plus, I have to face all kinds of bigotry even from my own family. Some of them won't even allow me to watch their children anymore. I'm not dangerous. I'm just dealing with a chemical imbalance in my head. I have a medical condition, just like people who have diabetes or heart disease. As long as I take my meds and go to therapy, I am fine.
Some of these items are awful, but they aren't something you prepare .... Like sure nothing prepares you for getting hit by a car... but that should go without saying... unless you are a stunt guy. Like you mentally prepare for a first child or leaving school or losing a loved one.
Me too - cant touch an inflated baloon - dont want them near me. Stems from a childhood organised Xmas party where one of the games was we had to take turns running to a chair and sitting on the ballon on top to pop it. Hurts your legs in a little short dress when you are7/8 - was screaming and refusing to do it by the 4th/5th time
Load More Replies... Fart by accident in the wrong place at the wrong time and with the wrong company.
Haha i did that recently, i work on the 5th floor, i was coming down in the lift (elevator) and had to let a big one rip only for the lift to stop on the 3rd floor and 2 ladies get in, nothing was said but i know it frikkin stunk in there and they obviously knew it was me, lol.
Load More Replies... 3 happiest things this week, my sister had her first child my first nephew, went to a Slayer concert and took my old nan out for some sunday lunch.
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