30 Husbands And Wives Share What Bizarre Things They Discovered About Each Other After Marriage
Living together is a momentous milestone in a relationship. It requires opening up and seeing each other for who you truly are—sometimes, in more ways than one.
Although it’s wonderful to share your space and spend even more time together, you might learn something new about your spouse when it comes to their behavior at home. A popular post on r/AskReddit highlights some of the weirdest things that people found out about their partners after getting married and living together. So, Bored Panda has collected the funniest and most bizarre stories.
Whether it’s strange, late-night habits in the bedroom (no, not those ones) or some questionable hygiene practices, it seems like starting married life isn’t all the bliss it’s made out to be.
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Occasionally my wife will sit straight up in bed, but she is dead asleep. The first couple times she did it I thought she was going to go to the bathroom or drink some water but she just sat there. I tried talking to her and when she didn’t respond I realized she was asleep. Horrifying.
I’m used to it now, so I just rub her back and quietly tell her “Lay down it’s time to sleep.” and she will lay back down. Apparently she reflexively punched her ex in the eye once because he didn’t realize she was asleep and he woke her up. Pass. Not getting punched by you beautiful creepy wife.
Ah love.
My husband has prowled the bedroom and said weird scary things. The first time obviously I had no idea he was asleep and he went and opened the bedroom door and came over and told me 'it's to keep them in' 😱
According to statistics from the US government, marriage rates in the United States are falling year upon year. The numbers indicate that millennial couples are choosing to live together, whilst delaying or even forgoing marriage altogether.
In a related 2019 study completed by the Pew Research Center, only 44% of millennials aged 25-34 were married at the time. This is contrasted sharply by the previous generations’ marriage rates in a similar age range: 53% of Generation X, 61% of baby boomers, and 81% of the silent generation.
My husband is terrible at finding things. It can be front and center at eye level in the fridge and he can't find it! I used to hide his presents by putting them in the open on a chair in our bedroom — I called it my 'super-secret' hiding spot.
I think it is true with most of us husbands. And then we panic when the wife says let me look for it because we know that she will find it in the most obvious of spots. The suspense when she walks in and searches for something you are 'certain' is not there is the stuff thrillers are made of.
It coincides with changing attitudes to the traditions and ideals of marriage for the younger generations. Another important factor is the financial costs associated with getting hitched.
Millennials are well-known for their struggle of growing up in the aftermath of the 2008 market crash. Buying a house in this era may seem like an unachievable goal and when considering the costs of a wedding, it could be considered more of a luxury than a necessity.
Even with getting married, there’s also the risk and fear that if it’s unsuccessful, there will be the literal price to pay for the divorce. Marriage may not look like a fruitful investment for many, so a safer option may be to live together as a couple.
My husband has no off switch. If I'm not listening, he just talks to himself. He has full on conversation in the shower. He pauses YouTube videos in the middle to give commentary. He's pretty much only quiet when he sleeps, and then he snores! I love him to bits though. The house feels weird when he's not here chattering away.
That would drive me crazy after one day. It also seems like the type of thing you would notice even before being married.
She talks in her sleep. And not like “I forgot milk”. Like “Do you think hot dogs are steak d***s?” or “COSMIC-SHEEP WHERE ARE THE FREAKIN BAGELS GO FIND THE BAGELS” (the latter said while staying at a friend’s mountain cabin forty five minutes from town at 2 AM).
Relationships are magical.
However, all this does not point to eliminating weddings altogether. As a result of postponement, the average age for a millennial’s first marriage is steadily increasing. In the 2019 study, the average man was first married at the age of 30. In comparison, the average was 26 years old in 1987, and 23 years old in 1968.
The choice for postponing marriage is often attributed to the need for financial stability too. By choosing to focus on their work and careers instead, many are just waiting for better conditions to start the rest of their life together.
HE EATS DEVILED EGGS WITH SUCH A FEROCITY. He will literally forget to take breaks in between eggs in order to breathe. ... he'll start freakin sweating...
My mother did not believe me so made some for him for Christmas and got to witness the horror first hand.
For context he's a pretty fit dude who eats most of his meals normally.
She likes to walk around the house with one sock on and one sock off.
When eating Oreos, she takes a mug filled with milk and places the Oreo in the mug, she then takes a spoon and scoops it out of the milk and eats the Oreo off of the spoon. Why else would God have given us fingers if not for using to dip Oreos I say?
Once when we were at my in-law’s home, she was eating Oreos this way and I started giving her s**t about it. Then I look around the room and see her dad, mom, and three sisters just looking at me; all holding their mugs of milk and Oreos with spoons to extract said Oreos from the milk. Foot, meet mouth.
My husband takes his shirt off to poop, I'm not sure why.
Maybe he doesn't wipe well and wants to avoid a repeat of the poop on his shirt tail incident of '05
Apparently my wife does not poop. We have been together for about 15 years and not once have I caught her cr*pping. It's disturbingly strange. Maybe she's an alien.
Her shoes. Shoes in living room, shoes in the hall, shoes in the bathroom, shoes in the other bathroom, shoes under the kitchen table, shoes under the coffee table, shoes next to the coffee table, shoes in her trunk, shoes in my trunk. Shoes next to the bed, shoes under the bed, shoes on the bed. Shoes.
I was friends with my husband for 16 years before we got engaged and moved in together...... I found out that he insists on sleeping fully clothed
Not like....a T-shirt and pajama bottoms
In his friggin jeans, shirt, even shoes
There may be some PTSD there. Sometimes, people who don't feel safe dress like they're ready to escape at any moment. Talk to your spouse. Figure out what's going on, and get them professional help if they're holding on to some really traumatic memories.
He rips paper towels in half and saves the other half. I collected them, wrapped them up, and gave them to him for Christmas. Yes, we used the other half, I'm not a earth-killing savage.
He gets out of the shower, struts into the room naked, and says, "OK, gotta go to work." Like, weekly. It's funny every time, I think that is the actual weird thing.
My wife, the second day of us dating/living together, she was like, “Listen, I fart, okay?” And everything else has been smooth sailing ever since - 7 years later. I never suggest the parameters of our relationship to others.
My wife was the same. At the beginning of our relationship she told me she farts, gave me a example, and hoped I didn't have an issue with that. I fell in love with her at that very moment
My boyfriend just moved in with me about a month ago and he cannot close a drawer to save his life, I swear every time he takes something out of a drawer he forgets that it doesn't close on its own.
I was waiting for this! Does he leave the doors open too? I feels like that scene from The Sixth Sense every time I go into the damn kitchen
My wife makes sex noises while she sleeps. It's super cute and very funny to me. I didn't tell her about it until she went on a weekend trip with friends and she asked me about it after they said something.
Found out my wife bites into her popsicles with her front teeth like a psychopath
He likes to slap his booty when he gets out of the shower. He has a certain beat that he keeps and it is so very loud.
He blows his nose into his towel and then dries off with it.
But I'm the crazy one for refusing to share a towel.
He then ALWAYS hangs the towel over the shower curtain rod so I have to move his booger towel to shower. Sometimes boogies fall off into the tub and... Just yuck, dude.
11+ years of boogers.
Did you know it is possible to fold a fitted sheet? Mind. Blown.
Yeah, you just roll, scrunch and put it in the cupboard. That's my kind of "folded".
My wife brushes her teeth, goes pee. Comes to bed. We talk for 20 mins. She gets up, goes pee. We talk for 5 mins because she thought of something in the bathroom. I turn over, close my eyes to go to bed.
I hear the toilet flush, and she gets back in bed.
This repeats until she falls asleep provided that there's been no more than 5 minutes since she last went pee.
My wife is incapable of keeping track of small, important items (like her keys, wallet, or cell phone). If it can be lost, she WILL lose it, usually for several days. Even after ten years of marriage, I am still amazed at her ability to do this.
I have kept an extra set of my wife's things with me for the last 30 years of marriage, let alone her giving me the original straight away as soon as she uses it. I swear, it's one of the main things that has kept our 30 year marriage so great. She so badly needs me, we both badly need each other, everything in the relationship gets fixed immediately. That peck on the cheek when I have it for her, is what every marriage needs.
That is such a sweet, patient thing to do. :-)
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Me too. I bought a tracker for my keys and I have to say, money has never been more well spent.
She may have ADHD. This is one of the hallmarks, especially in woman, who do not typically come across as hyperactive, but are instead very absent minded.
I know what you mean about pockets-they are great! But this will not help. It is about the person's...temper, I guess. My husband forgets and looses things all the time. I remind him about everything, sometimes he gets annoyed by my reminders, says he has everything under control and in two minutes he announces I have to bring him his keys/wallet/cell phone cause he forgot to take it...
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I bought my husband a Tile so he doesn't lose them anymore. he loves it!
I have ADHD and loose EVERYTHING... I call it my magic trick cause I will literally have it in my hand then in a split second it's gone when I find said item I scream 🎉🤦🏻♀️ worst place I lost my phone in the dish washer 😬
Keys and wallet have their pockets, phone can be found as long as there's charge. Android Device Manager FTMFW!
I have a variation of this problem. My husband is an expert at loosing MY things... 😓
Undiagnosed inattentive adult ADHD. The behaviors are classic symptoms. Medication can help to focus better and improve our organizational abilities. We misplace our keys, wallets, glasses, shoes, earrings, and purses, etc. as you describe. If we don't manage our calendar carefully, we show up a day late or a day early for appointments, or forget them altogether. It's really very exhausting for us, and often our friends, our spouses, S.O.'s, parents and even work colleagues ("Where's my flash drive! I'm gonna be late!") Check it out.
Wait until she's been doing that for 50+ years--it loses some of its charm. I put an electronic tracker in my husbands wallet after he lot it, permanently, for the 3rd time...he lost that too.
I have been late to work so many times because my husband loses everything. Worst one was when I took a short nap on vacation and the next day when we are getting ready to leave I find out he went for a swim in the lake while I was sleeping and he had the car keys in his swim shorts. I had work the next day, it is an 18 hour drive. I was really late to work. Ended up taking my Father-in-laws car home and had to drive it back up to them (18 hours) a month later.
She's just quick. I'm a guy who doesn't go through the whole sit on the throne for an hour thing. I sit down, crap, wipe, pull up my pants, wash my hands, and I'm done. I'm in and out in like a couple of minutes.
It’s because we DO EVERYTHING. That’s why our things are lost or not taken care of.
She could just have undiagnosed ADHD. This is the story of my life so I have tiles for everything and even my boyfriend makes mental notes of every time I set down my keys or wallet. Sometimes he just holds onto them for me.
Oh dear.... Time for a head count?? Who here thinks they may secretly have ADHD?... *raising hand...
Load More Replies... i have a specific place for everything so i never lose anything. my husband can misplace his keys and wallet but i usually kno where they are so losing things isnt an issue. i just make an effort to keep track of where he puts his things so i can tell him where they r or get them for him wen he needs it. it seems like im good at finding things wen in reality im just making his life easier by paying attention
May have ADHD. Do whatever u can to help. Also certain meds can help if she can take them. Like welbutrin
My wife is always losing stuff too! She got trackers for all of them, so it's not as bad as it used to be, but it did lead to a bit of panic when the tracker for her wallet fell out once. Turns out the wallet wasn't far from the tracker even then.
My husband freaks out if he sees me plucking my eyebrows. Like, “OH MY GOD! How do you DO that to yourself!?” Every time. But he won’t look away when I do it. He’ll just cringe with each pluck.
My husband will fall asleep in the most awkward and uncomfortable positions. Like he will stay up on the couch playing a video game or watching TV while I go to bed. He will then fall asleep on the couch but not lying down or with his head on the back. He will contort himself into a human pretzel and sleep. And he has no idea why his back and neck are so messed up all the time.
She always laughs about how I use specific kitchen items for specific tasks, like certain bowls are only for cereal, and certain cups are only for drinking water. Of course, I am also amused at her insistence on the "correct" organization of her side of the closet and within the drawers of her dresser. I never knew how many different categories of blue jeans existed before I met her.
She's afraid of the dark, not just like a random, dark, creepy, haunted-looking building but to the point where if she is alone she has to sleep with a night light or if the hallway is dark, she needs me to walk with her.
Women use a lot of toilet paper.
A CR*PTON.
Yup, well we can't just give a little shake and be done with it. Plus we have periods.
He likes to sleep with pieces of tissue in his ears cause he believes his ears leaks wax. I've never seen them leak. Kinda found it gross at the start of the relationships but 7 years in I just pick up those tissue bits up from our bedroom ground and it's doesn't even bother me.
Hocks in shower and that does bother me. A girl has limits.
My ex had like the worst smelling belly button ever. She used come home after a long day of work and that thing would reak of rotten cheese and meat. No joke I could smell it across the room.
Belly buttons are like armpits..they don't smell if you wash them..
Wife will change clothes 3 times a day. Get up puts on her running around sweats, gets dressed for work, comes home changes into her casual clothes. Then fuss about how much laundry she has.
I get up get dressed for work and I'm done, might change shirts if you go someplace after work.
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I hate to seem shallow but there are quite a few things on this post that would send me packing. Hocking the shower, blowing your nose in the towel, chewing with your mouth open making that smacking sound. Nope to all!
The trick to a happy relationship - stick with someone who's quirks you can live with. (married for 40 yrs)
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My husband used to scrape the toppings off his pizza, eat them and then eat the nearly plain slice of dough afterwards. I used to tease him about it, but now he‘s stopped doing it and I feel like a jerk :/
Oh man that was the best. I did it as a kid and it was the best way to eat a pizza.
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After living in group houses for many years, I bought my own condo and my girlfriend moved in. She noticed that I would put all my stuff in the refrigerator into one corner. It didn't even occur to me that I own this fridge and can use the whole thing, haha!
Is this weird, I don't like to eat my salad before my dinner, if there is soup, salad, and entree, i want to eat them all simultaneously taking bites of each one.
I don't think so. I find it strange when people cram down a bowl full of iceberg lettuce and then eat a savory entree after
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Some of these are okay, but some of these are messed up.
My husband never puts the lid back on anything... well, at least not all the way - he just sets it on top of the bottle / jar / tube and does maybe 1/8 of an actual turn... which in some ways is worse than leaving it off altogether. When you go to grab a bottle of pills by the lid and the bottle falls out of the cupboard - pills flying everywhere... Or you go to squeegee the toothpaste to the top of the tube and it starts oozing out everywhere around the lid... Or you got to grab a jar of nacho cheese out of the refrigerator (again, by the lid) and it tips over, getting cheese everywhere... 17 years of the same scenario and I STILL have random mishaps related to lids that only "appear" to be on. 😆
My husband uses 3 big double sized blankets to sleep and in the middle of the night not one is on him. One is between his legs one behind his head and one is on the floor. Who has to fold them ? Me.
Women, means more clothes... you may think more freedom, instead you are required to change along to the situation...and the makeup and hair too... Men, i have less clother, you may think less freedom, actualy i can do anything with the comfy solo clothe of the day
I found out my husband rarely washes his hands, but if he does, it's at weird moments. Like, he pets the dog and let it lick his hands, but doesn't wash them before eating. But when I take out the trash and he puts a new bag in the trashcan, he'll go wash his hands afterwards. So dog butt flavored hands are fine, clean trashcan bag is jucky? So weird.
I find it odd that living together is assumed to be marriage. I don’t know a single person who didn’t live with their partner before marriage, and/or a big majority who never marry. It’s like 100 years out of date.
As someone who was living long years with my husband before we actually got married, the English language phrase "how long have you been dating?" used to kind of confuse me, to be honest. I would just reply with "we've been together since / for....". It's a bit weird how wording can force you to put things into different perspectives.
Load More Replies... I hate to seem shallow but there are quite a few things on this post that would send me packing. Hocking the shower, blowing your nose in the towel, chewing with your mouth open making that smacking sound. Nope to all!
The trick to a happy relationship - stick with someone who's quirks you can live with. (married for 40 yrs)
Load More Replies... My husband used to scrape the toppings off his pizza, eat them and then eat the nearly plain slice of dough afterwards. I used to tease him about it, but now he‘s stopped doing it and I feel like a jerk :/
Oh man that was the best. I did it as a kid and it was the best way to eat a pizza.
Load More Replies... After living in group houses for many years, I bought my own condo and my girlfriend moved in. She noticed that I would put all my stuff in the refrigerator into one corner. It didn't even occur to me that I own this fridge and can use the whole thing, haha!
Is this weird, I don't like to eat my salad before my dinner, if there is soup, salad, and entree, i want to eat them all simultaneously taking bites of each one.
I don't think so. I find it strange when people cram down a bowl full of iceberg lettuce and then eat a savory entree after
Load More Replies... Some of these are okay, but some of these are messed up.
My husband never puts the lid back on anything... well, at least not all the way - he just sets it on top of the bottle / jar / tube and does maybe 1/8 of an actual turn... which in some ways is worse than leaving it off altogether. When you go to grab a bottle of pills by the lid and the bottle falls out of the cupboard - pills flying everywhere... Or you go to squeegee the toothpaste to the top of the tube and it starts oozing out everywhere around the lid... Or you got to grab a jar of nacho cheese out of the refrigerator (again, by the lid) and it tips over, getting cheese everywhere... 17 years of the same scenario and I STILL have random mishaps related to lids that only "appear" to be on. 😆
My husband uses 3 big double sized blankets to sleep and in the middle of the night not one is on him. One is between his legs one behind his head and one is on the floor. Who has to fold them ? Me.
Women, means more clothes... you may think more freedom, instead you are required to change along to the situation...and the makeup and hair too... Men, i have less clother, you may think less freedom, actualy i can do anything with the comfy solo clothe of the day
I found out my husband rarely washes his hands, but if he does, it's at weird moments. Like, he pets the dog and let it lick his hands, but doesn't wash them before eating. But when I take out the trash and he puts a new bag in the trashcan, he'll go wash his hands afterwards. So dog butt flavored hands are fine, clean trashcan bag is jucky? So weird.
I find it odd that living together is assumed to be marriage. I don’t know a single person who didn’t live with their partner before marriage, and/or a big majority who never marry. It’s like 100 years out of date.
As someone who was living long years with my husband before we actually got married, the English language phrase "how long have you been dating?" used to kind of confuse me, to be honest. I would just reply with "we've been together since / for....". It's a bit weird how wording can force you to put things into different perspectives.
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