Let’s face it—some people have no idea what our jobs are all about. Sometimes, we might enjoy explaining the basics with a few polite sentences but when they ask the same questions over and over again, it can start to feel slightly annoying. Luckily, there are plenty of people on the internet ready to enlighten the masses about the realities of what they do for a living.
One Reddit user posed a question on the r/AskReddit forum, "What is something that people in your profession understand, but the general public can’t seem to grasp?" From lifeguards to teachers, hundreds of people rushed to share insider knowledge and debunk the myths surrounding their jobs.
Take a look at some of the illuminating observations commenters revealed in this thread and make sure to upvote the ones that you might not have known about. And if you can relate to any of them, don’t be shy and share your insights in the comments below!
This post may include affiliate links.
I work in healthcare. People are dumb and I’m just going to leave it at that.
Pencils are expensive. Prints are expensive. Proper paper is expensive. It takes a lot of time to do a painting. So, no, I can't give it to you for free or 'exposure.'
Mental health is real health.
It's all tied together. Your mental health WILL affect your physical health - and vice versa!! Pain management is mental health care too.
We managed to get in touch with one of the Redditors who had enough of people misunderstanding their profession. User Substantially-Ranged left an illuminating comment under this thread, explaining the common misconceptions they face as a teacher.
"Teaching children takes more than subject knowledge," they wrote. "Many people think that their experience as a student qualifies them to be teachers. It's called the apprenticeship of observation. There are strategies for both classroom management and teaching that you don't learn from being a student."
Substantially-Ranged was kind enough to have a little chat and share some thoughts about the topic. They started by mentioning that, sadly, teachers in the US feel unappreciated.
I work on super yachts. We understand that the rich and famous can get away with ordering drugs, hookers and whatever else they want to their yachts. I've been stopped by police with drugs, but when I tell them it's for the owner of the yacht I work on they let me go. Rules and laws do not apply to the rich and famous. Oh,....... And yacht owners are rich and rarely famous. The really rich don't want to be known.
Public libraries are not safe places to drop off your kids. It's not the books that are unsafe; it’s the other patrons, and the fact that librarians are not babysitters.
In most places, we don't set the prices for anything. Your surgeon is not making $50,000 on your grandma's hip because the hospital charged that much. He or she is probably getting $1,500, and the institution gets the rest. Insurances and institutions are the problem.
"When classes went online due to COVID-19, the public attacked teachers as being lazy and suggested that they should be paid less because they were not actually in the classroom," they told Bored Panda. "It starts to feel like your education, your commitment, and your effort aren't appreciated."
The user believes that the general public does not value and respect "the amount of education and experience it takes to be a skilled teacher." One of the reasons behind this could be that "the apprenticeship of observation makes people think that because they've seen teachers, that they can teach."
Your children are generally [jerks] and we don't find them nearly as charming as you find them
The thing with this is, you ALWAYS notice the naughty kids, running amok in the restaurant. I would hazard a guess that because the other kids are well-behaved you NEVER notice them. It's always a minority spoiling it for the majority. Note: You can apply this to adults too.
Military spending.
The U.S. spends the most by far, but it doesn't mean that money goes towards making sure Soldiers, Airmen, Sailors, and Marines have the best training, facilities, education, and equipment.
The vast majority of that money goes to private companies for programs that never produce anything or contribute in any way to the effectiveness of the fighting forces.
There is no concrete evidence that the U.S. has "The Best" military in the world.
A lot of "tough" parenting stances don't work.
I work with teenagers who have committed minor offenses and are not required to do jail time, but seeing a youth worker and working on anger management/social skills/life skills is required of them. There is not one single teen that has been sent to me who has come from a background of "gentle parenting". Not one. Every singe one of them without fail as long as I have been doing this will tell stories of all the times they were hit as punishment, and it becomes their logic when faced with conflict, "He disrespected me so I bashed his face in", "He called me a wanker so a smashed his car with my baseball bat", "I didn't do anything wrong, he stole the girl I like so I kicked him and his knee just broke, it's not really my fault".
This whole "Back in my day we got hit and we grew up right!" is just silly. Back in "your day" hitting was more prevalent so it's safe to say that most, if not all, violent crimes were committed by those who were hit. Most of the more shocking serial killers and so on have very well documented back stories of abuse.
Not every child who is hit will resort to physical violence when things don't go their way, of course, but children who are taught proper coping mechanisms for anger other than hitting people or things are very less likely to resort to that themselves, because they've been given conflict resolution skills that they can carry on into young adulthood.
And yeah, here's the point that a lot do understand in regards to this- if you are saying that you were hit and you grew up okay and you are using that to defend physical violence against children who most of the time actually don't know any better (and it's even worse when it's "Oh well they're too young to understand why they shouldn't touch the stove, so I hit them so they understand"- if they can't understand why they can't touch the stove they won't understand why you hit them either), you didn't grow up okay, you grew up with violent tendencies.
General rule, don't hit people.
If you hit children, they will learn to hit.
When children grow up and hit other grown ups, that's a criminal offense and they will go to jail.
I was hit as a child and I did NOT turn out ok. There are better options.
Same. Didn't learn right from wrong, just learnt to be scared & not trust anyone
Load More Replies...
My 2 YO didnt umderstand why she cant touch the stove either. And she touched it while I was making pancakes. Now she DOES understand why she cant touch the stove. And last week she (now 3 YO) was explaining to her grandfather that you can touch the fireplace when there is no fire. Kids learn very quickley, just give them a chanc.
Generally, I find that they learn from experience. As long as it's not life-threatening, let them do something once and they'll quickly learn not to do it again. For example, giving them free access to candy. They'll stuff themselves, ruin their appetite for dinner, and get sick. Next time, they'll know not to eat so much. Unless they're me, in which case they're so worried they'll not get another chance that they'll do it multiple times XD.
Load More Replies...
When my parents hit me, I always felt so betrayed, since I got beaten up daily at school (they knew, didn't care) and even at home I wasn't safe... and they wonder why I grew so distant, I don't really love them I just tolerate them, because they're my parents.
I was hit as a kid and my a*****e father was surprised I did not stand up for myself more.
Yeah, who would have thought that if you were hit everytime you tried to do that as a child, you might fear doing it as an adult.
Load More Replies...
Happy to tell anyone that listens that yes! This type of parenting is the only way! Proud to have brought up two fabulous sons who have respect for others. I wasn't hit but had a pretty strict father so I tested the rules daily & wasn't that happy generally. You're a kid once, you aren't yet an adult and we have to teach you the general rules of life. Teach by leading.
Spot on. I came from a family that didn't spank, which was unusual for the time (I'm 61). And I raised my kids the same way. And FYI - my parents used to get compliments on how well behaved we were - all 5 of us. And I too, got compliments on my kids behavior. Not only is spanking wrong, it's lazy. I spent 6 hours making my 3 three year old sit in time out for 3 minutes. Every time he got up, I told him the time was reset. We talked about why he was there, etc. But after that, when he got time out, he sat in time out. When he wrote on the wall with Sharpie, we cleaned it up, while I explained why you don't do that. Much more effective that simply smacking him.
Load More Replies... I raised polite, respectable, hard working, empathetic children and they were never hit or spanked. Not once. You don't have to Hit to teach the. Properly. You lack parenting/communicating skills if you do hit them
Anyone that condones spanking I always ask them what they think they're poor little minds go through when the one person that's supposed to protect and love them and keep them safe has now scared and hurt them. They're little minds do not understand why. They only know mommy or daddy are not safe.
Sorry to bust your bubble, but my kid turned out to need these services and I've been left wondering if our parenting was indeed "too gentle". Since I was physically abused as a child, I'll forever wonder if I overcorrected when I became a parent. My point: don't make misleading statements like in your first paragraph about "NoT oNe!" It's disingenuous.
I think there is a broad brushstroke going on here. You are talking about abusive homes. I got spanked e ery now and again as a child. I did NOT live in fear of being whacked by my parents. There is a difference between a strict home and an abusive one and I'm not saying anyone has to spank. Or that strict homes can't cause emotional over physical damage. But a childhood without discipline and strong boundaries is NOT a good thing
Absolutely there is a big difference! Kids without any form of discipline can grow apart easier with their parents, too.
Load More Replies...
I used to be beaten as a child and occasionally during adolescence too. I had severe self confidence issues and when I got nephews I would use the same "techniques" on them. Needless to say they very quickly learnt they didn't want to be around me. That in turns made me realize how wrong I was and just in time changed the way I behaved. Now we have a great relationship and I'm so glad I managed to get out of that vicious circle.
There is a huge difference between beating a child and spanking a child. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SPANKING A CHILD! As a kid, I knew if I did certain things, I might get grounded and lose privileges or if I swore, I would get a mouthful of soap. But if I really crossed the line, I got the belt. I believe I only got the belt three times. Three slaps across the butt. Not enough to leave marks. But there has to be a fear of consequences or else kids have no reason to listen or behave. That is why you have 8 and 11 year olds kidnapping toddlers and killing them "just to see what happens" or 13 year olds killing a friend in the woods just because "they felt like it" All of these kids were never disciplined with more than a time- and feel they can do anything without repercussions or accountability. They have been taught that they are never at fault for anything they do, it is always someone else's fault. This has lead to an entire generation of psychopaths. How is that a better "option"?
Remember this: your own choices affect your future, even if you had a bad background or not, like me for example, I had the kindest, most leaninent parents, but I still went to jail for stealing. Yes small children are influenced by their parents, but teenagers are usually not influenced by their parents, so they have no reason to hurt someone! even if, again, EVEN IF you're background was nasty, every choice you made in your life was your own choice, not your parent's, yours. Just think about that for a bit.
I'm uh, I'm probably gonna get downvoted a bunch, but my parents spanked me and grounded me when needed, and I never did that sort of thing again and they only spanked me when I did something bad, I understand it can be traumatic for some but think of it this way: would you rather have your kid crying for 5 minutes screaming I hate you, or have them in jail because you did some bullsh!it called "gentle parenting" that my friends mother does and she's (my friend) a drug addict and gets into trouble regularly.
I see a lot of incidences where the children mouth off to their parents, hit them, scream and yell at them, even curse at them--and these are three and four year olds. All the parents do is say "Please don't do that" Or "if you don't stop, we won't go get ice cream" Is this the gentle parenting " you're talking about? Cuz' it doesn't work.
So, you really don't know of other ways to discipline a kid?? Or are you joking? I do hope you are joking.
Load More Replies...
I grew up with corporal punishment.."corrections". I'm not violent. Probably the last of a generation that it was "allowed" with. Never been in jail, committed any crime. Didn't finish college and have been in my field of work longer than many of my coworkers.. something I take great pride in. I learned values, respect, how to maintain peaceful relationships. I feel that many of today's parents hands are tied. Cops called cause you take the phone you paid for and maintain because they're grounded...not how it works. It's called a consequence...more need to be enforced. I think crime would decrease and maybe we all can become civilized people again.
OMG a spanking is not a beating. Those are two VERY different things. Give it a rest already. If you prefer not to spank, cool. However, it is not abuse. Stop it.
My brother was hit more than me as a kid (I didn't act up because I didn't want to get hurt). Whenever he gets mad it is terrible, he throws things, and tries to hit people. He learned to deal with anger through violence and turned out worse because of it.
i 100% agree, adding ontop, the complete opposite is also an extremely dangerous way to raise your child, i was raised to take care of myself and my younger brother from the age of 4, that kind of parenting is harmful because children don’t understand what it’s like to be children and when they have kids they can’t deal with normal kid things because they didn’t get to experience them.
My mom hit me when I did something really wrong or dangerous but my dad never hit me. He said he'd never hit a female. I was taught lessons with groundings and taking away privileges such as TV viewing time. I turned out just fine and I don't have violent tendencies.
I love this. Thank you for posting. I grew up very very damaged from severe generational abuse. It's such a hard thing to deal with because you can't function without constant fear.
I've worked in a similar capacity and I can say my expierence has been the opposite of the post. Now, hear me out, I am NOT advocating for hitting anyone, but there has to be a balance. Of course abused kids will act out, but there is also extensive case study to show that the permissive parenting that started in the 90s is just as detremental. You just see these kids in other disciplinary paths, they are entitled and act out. Participation trophies and rewarding every little effort has led to a sense of entitlement that hasn't been matched in previous generations. The book The Coddling of the American Mind is a great book that explains how this has become a huge problem..
For some twisted reason my child thinks it's OK to hit, kick and bite me buy no one else. Not her dad, other kids, other people besides me. This is very upsetting for me. I try my best but I'm on the verge.... I will implode I can't fight back, she is 5 ffs. So I slowly degrade into oblivion of my own dispair.
The definition of "hit" is what is important here. A smack on the bum when your child knows he deliberately stepped over his boundaries is not abuse. Taking your belt off and whipping your kid until they bruise or bleed IS abuse. The description of the kids you are talking about I will assume are of the latter group.
Yeah the current time out generation are psycho compared to the generation that got spanked. I spanked a child once and the kid to this day respects me compared to her time put mom who she treats like s**t. Use all her food money to buy a puppy then tormented the puppy til it bit her so she gave it away.
I am going to add: "gentle parenting" does not necessarily mean no boundaries. This OP is exactly right: authoritative, or super strict parents, tend to have offspring who end up in jails and prison. So do indulgent parents, though -- the ones who make excuses and don't follow through on consequences for their children's bad behavior. Parents who set up and follow through on rules, talk to their kids and explain why such-and-such is not a good choice, let them know that the punishment is not about the parent being mad but instead about the kid stepping over the line in some way, those kids turn out to be much more emotionally stable and able to cope with life.
i was also hit as a child and it did not turn out well. i have pretty bad ptsd i'm figuring out on my own and only now can i not get too emotionally attached to an argument-- which allows me to think and react rationally. don't hit your kids or the kids you're tasked to care for. my abuse came from the roommates who threatened to call cps on my dad for simply being in the military (navy) with an absentee mother. just don't treat people and children like garbage. simple.
“Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it." (Henry Thomas Buckle)
Yet, in the USA, parents are legally allows to hit the kids in many states. Because the USA hates kids, and Red states hate kids even more.
My cousins a 'soft parent' and is insanely kind to her kids n they want for nothing. Two em them are absolute psychos who flip out minor inconveniences and tear up their classrooms when told no. I think it should be somewhere in between
Yeah that why the world is so f****d up now. My generation and the generation after me is so screwed up because most of us never got spanked. I wish my parents spanked me I know it would of done me some good. But no we get what we have because of this stupid thinking.
If you hit them, they won't understand why not to touch the stove but they will eventually understand that you don't love them
It's not that abuse victims will turn into abusers, its that hitting children genuinely teaches them that the one who is violent and stronger gets to dictate the terms, so many of them repeat that because that's what they've been taught. Cause in point the aforementioned parents who hit their kids because they were hit too
I have never raised a hand to my children and I never will. They have the typical toddler problems, but they also know they can come to me and not lie or have to be afraid of me. A good rule of thumb (usually shown as a flow chart): "Should I spank my child?" Is your child able to be reasoned with? Yes ---> Then use reason No ---> Then they won't understand why you're hitting them.
You let the kid touch the stove and the kid burns themselves, they learn not to do it again.
I never hit my children and " gentle parenting" never worked. They had mental health issues. Our mental health system in the USA is abhorrent!
violence promotes violence and causes a lot of anger and resentment. so do parents who keep the reigns too tight and you can never do anything right. that was my parents and I am NOT ok
Just because your stance on raising children(a understandable one) is not hitting children, doesn't mean you should make up stupid lies. Granted it's more probable coming from a house where you get beat (actually beat, not oh I got a spanking so I stole 4 cars at 16). A lot of teenage rapist come from good homes because they don't understand no. So should we always tell our kids no? Beating your kids is wrong, but you spewing lies as if a spanking(ViOlEnCe) turned anyone into a criminal is the dumbest lie I've heard.
Same but luckily I also learnd to breath and relax, but yh don't hit your kid, it's not the way talking can do alot more than a slap.
There is a difference in abuse and discipline. I will and do discipline my kids and I know when they are an adult they will respect me more for not letting them do as they had wished. I was abused and i think that help guide me to discipline and not abuse.
Fairly certain I would be in jail for murder by now IF I hadn't been living with my dad for the vast majority of my childhood.
Ok does this gen not understand the difference between discipline and violence... I've been spanked as a kid and I've been hit as a child I knew the difference my dad was an ass and my grandmother was giving me a consequence for my bad behavior again I knew the difference
If everyone would remember & follow one of the oldest “rules” known to man… we might all turn into decent adults. Sadly, most people I’ve asked about it don’t have a clue as to what I’m even talking about so I’m gonna share the one rule that if everyone would just consider for a minute, before doing anything, could change so many things & all for the better. The one rule everyone should follow if a decent future is wanted: THE GOLDEN RULE! It’s got many names & might’ve been put on the back burner for awhile but it hasn’t changed so much that if people simply put a little more “practice what you preach” into use, people might realize that the biblical quote:”do unto others as you would have done unto you” is just another way of saying, “you get what you give”, “tit for tat”, “what comes around goes around”… it all means the same thing… think: how do I want to be treated, what things are rude to me? & maybe we’d all live at least, a nice life(?), it could happen!
It's always the "facts over feelings" people who will say this, but they suddenly don't wanna listen to statistics when we say hitting your kids is bad and it will mess them up
I was so abused frim early childhood to age 16 and rebelled drank did alot of drugs and jailtime and felonies. After 2 decades of therapy hospitalization and medication im about to turn 51 and am just starting to get my life together. I cant blame it all on abuse, i did then and still do know right from wrong. I just didnt care i thought i didnt deserve to live and spent nearly another 20 yrs relearning and being ok with the fact i am still living
The new rules per Child Protective Services is that ALL forms of discipline are considered abusive. So no more spanking, no more noses in corner. Was even told not allowed to ground them from electronic devices because that is emotional abuse. So, now children are allowed to do whatever they want without consequence. My 16 year old step daughter has broken a Switch, Wii, PS 3, and a PS4, from things like slamming the controllers to overworking the machines until they give "black screens of death". She grounded herself because we are unable to afford to replace them. So now, she is learning the value of money, though she still at that age where she expects things just because she exists. Like no, my job is to make sure you don't go outside the house naked or starving.
That's why the Department of Child Protective Services added new rules after the 80s and 90s. Some of which include, no spanking, no noses in corner, no grounding from electronic devices, no disciplining of any kind will be tolerated. The new stance is "children will be children, and thus all forms of discipline are now considered abuse."
I was beaten every day as a child , "whether I needed it or not". I am 65 now and have always been unable to form normal relationships.
You're right. Gentle parenting works awesome until your kid smears a family of four all across a highway while driving drunk. Then they just go straight to prison. That's why you don't see them.
I always retort with a story about a buddy of mine that was shot 4 times and survived so gunshots must not be harmful.
There's a difference between have firm expectations and guidelines that are consistently enforced, and just not bothering to use communicative efforts to convey those expectations.
I cannot upvote this post enough! Hitting someone you love is psychotic, let alone a child!
I boil this down to.. "WHY". As a kid there is a point that they don't stop asking that simple question. I hated that endless why, but a trick I learned is ask them why they think it's that way. I have seen them talk themselves to sleep answering the why. . From a preventative disciplinary action, because I said so is the dumbest thing out of an adults face. If you don't know why you're demanding an action from the child or are too lazy to explain the reason, your results will probably suck.. Instead explain the why,.. they in turn realize the action that caused it. They are learning machines! If they learn how to manipulate by watching you do it, you will be their victim. If you teach and care for others, they will also teach cate, and understand more than just their perspective.
Like I mentioned in another post, if my mother had kept on hitting me, I wouldn't have turned out right as a grown up, I would've been dead. The woman had to be stopped by my dad on more than one occasion because she didn't realize how much she was beating me. I'm thankful for my dad and the cops that finally put me in protective custody when I was in 4th grade. Violence only teaches violence. Words reach the brain and the heart.
Yeah they will learn to hit. That hitting solves problems. But the real hit is to a kid's self esteem and worth and lack of being validated and devalued. Nothing matters once a kid/adult feels that way, Noting has value so hit, destroy property, hurt others and yourself
Was spanked once. A smack to the leg. Didn't hurt it was the shock factor. Guess what never happened again because i didn't like that shock and i behaved. Simple. Better than these parents going around letting thier brats scream, throw things etc and the parents do nothing
My poor mum was beaten badly as a child. I couldn't have known except she used to brag about it and joke repeatedly how her grandmother threw a rock in her head - almost like it was a badge of honour: "Look! I've still got the mark!" It damaged her mind to the point where her anger was so extreme it compelled me to opt for a different path. None of it was her fault and when she passed I grieved as much for her life as I did for her death 🕊
My parents used to beat the f**k out of me and my siblings. It was the 70's, that's what was done!! But I remember telling my parents that it is wrong for you to hurt your children because of perceived wrong that you thought we have done!! Didn't help me because I still got the s**t beaten out of me but at least my concerns were voiced!!
Also, I just want everyone to know that this cycle can be broken because I never hit my children (two beautiful girls) because I just couldn't do that to them. I totally stopped this abusive cycle because it was so barbaric and I couldn't even think about harming my babies! My girls are just perfect and are in a good place and I couldn't be more proud!!
Load More Replies... 
I got hit plenty as a kid. Why? Because my parents had parents who hit THEM. When I got to be an adult, before I ever had kids of my own, I decided that this cycle stops with ME. I never raised a hand to my kids - no slapping, no spanking, nothing. They grew up to be wonderful human beings. And guess what? They don't hit their kids, either.
I'm a foster parent trying to adopt and this kid, I love him so much, but the abuse he faced from his father really messed him up with physical, mental, and emotional abuse. He's a huge bully right now and it's so hard trying to get him to unlearn that behavior and relearn love and acceptance. But we're trying. He's worth it. All these mean "jerk" kids are worth it, if the parents would just try and people would be more understanding that kids are little humans with their own thoughts and emotions and not little robots to sit silently.
Barely ever hit my daughter, always tried to make the punishment fit the crime (extra chores, earlier bedtime, apologize, etc), and I always explained why she had to do the punishment, and that I still loved her. Never abused, never babysat by strangers, never bullied. My kid turned out completely not okay, thanks to mental illness. My other is nothing like that and they were raised the same. Wish the author could meet them and not say that all kids they've worked with are this way.
The best form of mentoring is when you can say, "Do I treat you this way?" And the answer is no. Example: my son gets upset and shoves daughter, I say, "Honey, when you didn't make your bed, did I shove you?" Tone calm, voice intense with empathy, little man's eyes echo my empathy now, his tone calms, "No mommy." Then I continue, "How would you feel if mommy shoved you for making a mistake?" Little man's eyes light with understanding, "Really really sad." I nod, "So our little Lady feels like that right now. We don't want that, we love her." And he instantly sees his sister again and not the girl who colored on his picture. If we don't hit, scream, react, we can use our stability and unconditional love as the example. WE need to model the behavior we want to see. It's honestly so easy and saves me so much stress daily I can't begin to praise the method enough. Add in every love language across the board and life feels like a vacation!
Back in their day there was lead in the gasoline, therefore it was in the air, lead lowers your IQ.
It's beyond stupid that this is okay to some people. For one, it's not okay to hit another adult because they're being stupid or displeasing to you. So why is okay to instead hit a little tiny person with much less body mass, emotional development, and support sources who will be more physically and mentally affected by said hitting than an adult. And has no recourse to physically or verbally defend themselves because "my house, my rules," "I'm in charge of you," "do what I say or else." Don't BS with excuses like "training" the kid. That s**t doesn't work on dogs, why would it work on kids? Animal training programs don't use physical abuse to correct behavior. Animals raised in that manner are frequently aggressive, under-socialized, and unadoptable by shelter standards. Besides that, parents all too often fail to listen to their children let alone understand their perspectives. Often "correctional" beatings, are just parents lashing out in anger or venting built up anger.
My parents were raised with corporal punishment as a response to a misbehaving child, usually backed by anger. When I became a parent myself, I was very against “whippings” and responding to negative behavior in anger, so I tried talking with my kid about what they did and why it was wrong and time-outs instead. When those didnt work, i confess that i did “pop” my then-two-year old’s hand when they touched or did something i had told them not to (in retrospect, my kid likely didnt understand what they did wrong or why I was basically hitting them). As my kid got closer to three, when they got upset they started throwing kid-sized hay-makers. I was devastated when I realized my kid had learned to respond to negative situations with violence… from me. From that light-bulb moment on, I resolved to be more understanding of my tiny person, that they are trying to figure out their world, and that they count on me for love and support - not pain.
I was hit as a kid, and didn't question being hit as an adult when I was in one of 2 physically abusive relationships.
My brothers and I were all hit. Them more than me. None of us turned out okay. Both brothers have been to juvie and have gotten into fights and I've had ISS for hitting a kid because he was breaking the rules in a PE game. Now one of my brothers is threatening to spank his two year old even though his wife doesn't want him to.
Hitting only teaches fear and not respect. It also is behind many mental/social/emotional developmental issues. The non-violent route is best. A good lecture and revoking of privileges (depending on the offense) does way more good for growth. Address the brain, its the tool that needs to be corrected.
I wasnt ever hit. When I was told not to do something by my Mom and did it anyway and got hurt, she'd say "I told you not to do that didn't I? Not gonna do it again are you?" It always ALWAYS worked. Learning first hand
We create the monsters we blame faulty wiring on, through abuse, indifference, horrific living conditions and no parental skills or nurturing. And then, after the body count keeps growing, and someone is eventually caught, we say stupid s**t like "he was such a quiet, nice man", or "things like this don't happen in (wherever)". If it feels hinky it is hinky. And no one is responsible. So the human life that results from irresponsible or forced sex is born into a world of hurt. And that anger manifests itself on the enemy. Us. Violence will always be met with violence. How on earth can we justify or expect any change in anything when a man can repeatedly beat his lady, or children are a sexual playground. The apathy and thinking somebody else will step up, needs to change. This complacent acceptance of the unacceptable will never change crap
I need someone to tell me if this is okay. my mom bought me a pack of balloons and said when I am angry at someone to pop a balloon imagining it is their face. I haven't used any because I feel like this is just going to make me want to pop people's faces when I'm mad. I tried to tell my mom this but she stated that it's just "symbolism" and it won't matter if I do it or not.
My view: It depends on you. Of course, you're not actually hurting anyone but if you feel uncomfortable, that's also understandable and a legitimate feeling (like ALL feelings are!). There are plenty of other ways to manage anger.
Load More Replies...
I got my ass beat when the punishment fit the crime. I also wrote pages and pages of Bart Simpson's "I will not ..." My kids, who have all grown into well adjusted members of society (22, 20, and 17) got their asses beat when the punishment fit the crime. So yeah, I am firmly in the camp of physical discipline works
I agree with this 100%. My father worked as a social worker for 36 years and my step mother ran a group home. Literally none of the problematic kids had a quality upbringing. Most of the parents were just plain bad and abusive people. The people that were just poor and needed help generally good and their kids were good. It was always the bad parents (abusive, alcoholics, drug users) that produced bad kids.
Not totally true. The punishment must fit the crime. 90% of hitting a child is unwarranted, but 10% is precisely what the child needs, and should be calculated and measured before administration.
Thank the lord that no woman would ever willingly sleep with you (and risk worsening the world with your spawn) if that's your idea of parenting
Load More Replies...
Both heavy handed and hands off parenting can be very damaging. There is a very broad middle-ground in children are given both space and encouragement to be themselves as well as clear boundaries - that don't need to be enforced with heavy handed parenting.
Load More Replies...It can be quite hard to figure out why the public has so many misconceptions about other professions. Whether it’s seeing librarians as babysitters or assuming that the IT guys can do it all, there seems to be a general lack of common sense when it comes to appreciating what others do for a living. "It can be difficult to have empathy for others and realize that they have to work hard," Substantially-Ranged added.
The user continued by saying that it’s necessary to talk about such issues. "The beauty of Reddit is that it creates an environment where positive and open discourse can occur. A simple subreddit like r/AskReddit has the power to educate people and enlighten them about things just by scrolling," they concluded.
'Switching it off and on again' in I.T. usually resets the device to the state before you pissed about with it — this quite often solves the problem.
Just because I "play" in a band, doesn't mean it isn't work! For every hour you see me on stage, I spent probably 100 hours practicing and rehearsing, so you would enjoy listening to me.
In Chinese there's an expression, One minute on stage comes from ten years' practice.
Veterinary- just because you can’t afford care for your pet, doesn’t mean I have to give said care for free. Nor does it it mean I’m heartless and cruel and killing your pet. It just means you can’t afford it.
I have bills to pay too. I have a right to make a living wage. I need to get paid. We get no government funding, we exist solely because people they their bills.
Well this goes for healthcare as a whole. I don't think it's the fact people have to pay that is the problem, it's the ammount of money that needs to be payed that is the issue. Sometimes a vet just looks at my cat, gives a short diagnose 'give it some rest' and I walk out fo the door with a € 80,- Bill. I know they deserve a good salary (studied long, have a big responsibility), but this I find ridiculous. I take care of kids in my profession, a big responsibility, but the pay is lousy. Just to compare.
Emergency Rooms are NOT first-come, first-serve businesses! We triage you for a reason, and you CANNOT cut the line in front of somebody with a more serious complaint just because you got here first!
Sorry, Jenny's non-Covid sniffles have to wait behind that guy's bone sticking out of his arm.
As a teacher, No! Your "babies" are not babies. They are delinquent teens with sociopathic behaviors that you allowed to go unchecked, and now we have to deal with it when they disrupt learning environments and harm others, while you throw a fit when we call home about it, even though we have video evidence of them brutally hitting others, including staff, and behaving like out of control animals. But your little "baby" would "never do that."
I am not a babysitter. It is your job as a parent to watch your kid when swimming and if they can't swim, you have to be in the water within five feet of them at all times.
YOU NEED TO SLOW DOWN IN BAD WEATHER!!!!!
(Two wheelers)If you ride faster in rain, the rain will pelt you like bullets. Driving slower makes it a bit bearable.
That the eighty thousand pound truck I’m driving can’t stop in a dime
Thiiiiiiissss! That extra car length in front of them isn't for your beemer to slide into! And if you can't see the driver's face, the driver can't see your CAR.
You actually don't want an exotic animal as a pet.
Not very exotic, but we(my wife) just "adopted" a mouse. Not a lil white mouse from a pet store, but a field mouse that we found almost dead in the toilet. I didnt want to put it out in the cold while half dead and wet, so I had it in a box to recover. Showed it to my wife...she deemed it🤩 "precious, with its little ears and feet"...so now we have a house for a mouse in our house. So far, it doesn't seem to have any diseases, but its still under observations. Hoo boy...
Marriage and Family Therapist
Your partner only wants your advice if they ask for it. They want you to listen and emphasize. Tell them what they're going through must (fill in appropriate adjective here- examples: suck, feel amazing, feel overwhelming, etc)
No, you haven't found your soulmate. You're brain is giving you a super boost in brain chemicals so you screw like bunnies and have babies. Tell me in 1.5-2 years if they're still your soulmate. That's how long it takes for that chemical boost to return to their "normal for you" state. And not feeling fireworks at the first kiss doesn't mean anything. Plenty of amazing long-term relationships started from friendship (which by the way is what you'll need to have a long-term, fulfilling relationship).
Also... be kind to each other. You will each f*** things up in your relationship. All is not lost because one of you talked to an ex, forgot a birthday, etc. Relationships go through seasons and I promise if you can work though the winter you'll have an amazing summer! Every relationship sucks sometimes (screw you social media and your highlight reels).
Lastly, though there are so many more- I can't stress this one enough, there is no such thing as my problem or yours. Though the work to get through it will look different for each of you, once you decide to become partners, everything becomes ours to work through together. Yes, even that thing that happened before you met but is getting in the way of your healthy relationship. And especially that thing you never want to talk about that is getting in the way of your relationship.
Your kids lie to you. If we said they didn’t do the homework and they said they did, it’s a 99.985% chance they are lying. If they say they weren’t doing xyz behavior in class and we say they were, it’s a 99.985% chance they were doing it. I have so many more demands on my time than to make up random c**p about your kid.
Flossing actually helps.
You can lie all you want about falling on or accidentally sitting on the stuff that gets lodged in your [butt], none of us HCWs believe you though!
Dear lord.. I'd probably die of embarrassment if I 'fell' onto anything.. But I'm pretty sure people make up stories to cover their own embarrassment in these situations,rather then think they'll ever be believed....
Teachers don't "give grades" - students earn them. The teachers just calculate them.
Sure, some teachers can be d**ks, and actually give grades, but that's not how it's supposed to work.
That office work is more than just making excel spreadsheets and chatting at the water cooler. A busy day in an office can be exhausting.
This. Mental exhaustion still counts as exhaustion. Just because I'm not in the middle of a forest chopping down trees all day it does not mean my job is less taxing than yours
My god, your chocolate will last the two weeks until Christmas. Buy it now and give it next Christmas. It has a shelf life measured in years. And stop putting it in the fridge. I made it three months ago and it's been sitting at room temperature in a box since then. If you put it in the fridge for a week it'll get condensation on it and turn sticky, or the cold will ruin the tempering.
I like my chocolate from the fridge. It's never in there for more than a day cos I'm a pig :P
Yes, the animal is in the exhibit. Sometimes you have to look for longer than eight seconds.
I would try to stay hidden too if I was forced to be stared at all day by hundreds of strange looking beings.
Bathroom renovations — things take time. Drying times are a factor. If I ask your budget, it’s not because I’m trying to empty your account. I just need to know your expectations so I can meet them.
Teaching children takes more than subject knowledge. Many people think that their experience as a student qualifies them to be teachers. It's called the apprenticeship of observation. There are strategies for both classroom management and teaching that you don't learn from being a student.
Absolutely! I had two kinds of science (phy) teachers- one who came in, stood like a robot, and puked out everything written in the textbook. And one who made us learn through real-life experiences, telling us topic related jokes, bringing all types of teaching aids, etc. The thing is, we still talk about the second teacher and miss him so damn much, whereas almost everyone has forgotten about the first.
Correlation is not causation.
I had 4 vaccines today, and one of them was the MMR. I wonder how long till I get Autism. lol
The Cloud is just someone else's computer.
See also: "Microsoft are reading all my emails, accessing all my files and examining all my data" - Trust me, no one's interested in your furry porn collection son...
Just because I'm an electrical engineer doesn't mean I can rewire your house. At least not legally.
Well, you CAN, but it will cost 5 figures, a few permits, and a couple of inspections, plus a crew.
I work in long term mental health care with special need adults.
I see al kinds of s**t, trust me. Most people get that. I get the 'ah you are such a hero for doing what you do, I could never do that' quite often.
What most people don't grasp is that the good moments are equally amazing as the bad things are horrible.
My residents are capable of such great things. Or they become so happy in our care it's just amazing to witness.
I could tell amazing or terrible things about my job, depending on the mood you're in to hear about.
Having spent some significant time as a patient on Psych Wards (not special needs, just adults) I feel quite well placed to comment on my experience. The ward staff were always ready to offer an ear, a hug or to nip to the shops. If it was in their power, they would do it for you in a heartbeat. Whilst the modesty of this chap is admirable, I have to disagree, these doctors and nurses ARE heroes, do a wonderful job and deserve praise.
No, I can't grab your iPhone and take a picture to match my best studio works, even if it's the most recent model of an iPhone. Also, yes, I do charge money 'just to take a picture.
Lots of ppl are willing to pay lawyers $$$ per hour for advice on the law "because they had to study long and hard" but somehow think artists just somehow "know" how to paint/take photos etc. beautifully and therefore don't deserve to charge much. Like..it's just drawing sth with a pencil, or "push a button" etc. Sure, you also know how to read but you still pay lawyers so what gives?
Unpleasant feelings are healthy and needed for us to function properly
Yes, but if I feel my depression signs building on top of grief and stress, I should be able to get requested relief from my MH team during a time of additional mental stress.
That everyone is entitled to due process and to be presumed innocent until proven guilty no matter how sleazy or guilty they are.
Complaining to my manager isn't going to get me fired. If anything he's going to be even more blunt with you about how much of a power tripping c**t you're being because he knows for a fact that you can't get him fired either. Retail workers, especially during a labor shortage and especially when they've got a few years experience, aren't so replacable that you can get one axed just by complaining to management. Most of the time your complaints won't even reach anyone with the authority to fire someone. Even if they do, they get so many complaints from unreasonable people that the management is far more likely to side with an employee that's in good standing with the store than with some random weirdo that didn't get what they wanted.
Teaching English in Japan does not elevate you to godlike status among the locals and Japanese kids can be as ill mannered and unruly as kids in the West.
The only certainty in medicine is that everyone dies eventually.
I am a material scientist.
America will never go to war with Russia. We buy too much Titanium and Helium from them.
Yes, this is a weirdly false assertion. We produce many times more Helium than Russia and we could easily skimp if we needed to. (How about stop wasting it in balloons?)
If you want to fit a portrait image into a landscape canvas, you either have to crop it, leave a black or white border or empty space left and right, or distort it (which is almost always a bad idea). On a regular occurrence, clients are unhappy with either of these options, they just want me to somehow make it fit.
Please turn your phone sideways when taking pictures of scenery or large groups!
Note: this post originally had 78 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
From medicine: No, we are not all just googling things when we look at the laptop or blackberry. We're often looking at the PDR, and it's much faster than the physical PDR. (The Physicians Desk Reference, a pharma guide that's about 2,000 pages of tiny print.) We may be reviewing your medical history, if it's available. We may even be checking to see if a specialist is in the hospital at the time. Do not assume we're going on Web MD. Please. Thank you.
Most people don't understand that before they get a med prescribed you have to first make sure there won't be any reactions
Load More Replies...
Every person that doesn't want socialized medicine because they won't want their taxes to pay for someone else's healthcare....they already are. The tons upon tons of people that treat the ER like a walk in/minor care clinic because it's "free"...how do you think the hospital recoups that loss?
Exactly! ... And now you can explain the idiocy of medical costs in the US to some extent. (They also just like big profits. Patients second, the ba*tards.)
Load More Replies...
I think what's most annoying is when people constantly complain about their job and have to go on and on about how exhausting it is. My job is hard, your job is hard, most jobs have some negative aspects, working sucks. I mean it's one thing to vent about a bad day but some people just need to either switch their careers or at least switch their attitudes.
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody and they meet at the bar" - Drew Carey
Load More Replies...
When you see errors in films and shows, like camera crew reflections or background things from the wrong time, it's very likely the production knew about them but let them stay in. Fixing things in post costs _a lot_, and you are on tight deadlines to air the show. Quality control will catch a lot of errors, and most will be fixed, but some there won't be the time or budget for so the flaws are knowingly left in.
IT architect and tech.... yes, if we are competent - we do have periods where we don't do much..... that's the result of designing and implementing something well.... and we were doing 80-100 hour weeks during implementation.... that's the life-cycle - get used to it. If you see someone who is busy all the time, they are an average (at best) tech.
When IT are busy fixing an emergency: Why did this happen, what do we pay you for? When IT are not busy: What do we pay you for?
Load More Replies...
Digital artist: I don't just draw a couple lines and a finished piece appears lol. Digital art is basically just as much hard work as traditional art, though having some specific advantages (the ability to resize, separate layers, THE UNDO BUTTON) and disadvantages (different colors on different screens, less leeway for brush and blending techniques, you can't see all of your canvas at once sometimes). Art is art and it all takes time and skill.
I don't even have a child and I know that's something you don't wanna skimp on
Load More Replies... That who you vote for makes no difference because the elections only replace ministers ("secretaries of" in USA). Elections do not replace any other officials. Especially not the ones in charge of fixing potholes in your suburb's streets. Therefore, if you really want a change in your country, e.g. you want free healthcare, you have to actually change your entire system of government, because as it is presently structured, it is designed to keep things as they are.
lol... what? You have a gross misunderstanding of how the system works
Load More Replies...
Market Research: When you give one company providing a service your contact info and they have sign a contract or application for anything, read the fine print before you go off at a research interviewer because you didn't realize part of the fine print included possibly being contacted for customary feedback or market research.
Behavioral health worker here. No, we don’t “do this job for the money.” The vast majority of us are underpaid and overworked. We subject ourselves to hearing some of the most awful things a person can do to themselves, or someone else, because we want to help you get better.
Honest question, every bmh worker I have dealt with mostly tells the patient "you are not trying hard enough" would you also say that to a cancer patient? (Btw, meditation, journaling, crafts, eating right (not eating when I can not afford good food). Still not good enough?)
Load More Replies...
The only reason you survive break checking a tractor trailer is because the driver needs to keep their job. Even with a dash cam it's not a given that we won't be found at fault. Your vehicle (yes even your jacked up obnoxious pick up "truck") may as well be made of tin foil. You've no idea the self control and reflexes it takes to not just drive over you for being an idiot putting the lives of everyone around you at risk.
from someone who works by taking art commissions: please be specific about what you want—no it's not rude to show us the exact pose you'd like! that's actually a major help! art isn't magic, it needs instructions—if you're unhappy with the sketch you're shown, say something before I pour hours of work into lines and coloring! don't complain once I'm done with it because there's nothing I can really do at that point
Here's one for ya: Digital and traditional artists don't make a lot of money unless they put in a few years of good, solid practice, and being with the right audience. I cannot tell you how many people don't realize that just because You draw well and have a few fans it means nothing without a presence and a firm grasp of the craft. Even if your art is considered bad, you're still rooted in those years of trying, you may just not be in the right place, forum, or site.
CGI artist (student still): No, we cannot just magically turn a bad shot into a good one. If the scene looks good, it means that both the VFX artists and the camera crew did a good job, because a terrible shot will still look bad even with ungodly amounts of visual effects thrown on top of it. Appreciate the camera crew!
The so called material scientist confused me. The US has the world's largest helium reserves and has been selling them off at cut rate prices to avoid the cost of storage. So who is this person?
We don't just put your pcr in a magical machine and get results, we don't just look at random stuff in a microscope and show the doctor, we don't just draw your blood, put it in a bag, and just transfer it to someone else. We are also healthcare professionals know perfectly and diagnose based on your samples, we don't just pick up some fancy machine and use it, even through years of working with centrifuges, if I get a new one, I have to read the entire manual because medical equipment is delicate and all manufacturers are different, pcr is a much more complex process, no machine does the work, machines are just tools for us to analyze the samples, separate, calculate and everything our works needs to be able to do something so delicate, we are not just there to control the machines, they serve us, not the other way around
In animal rescue: adoption costs are small potatoes compared to the amount of money rescues spend in animals before they can be adopted out. Rescues don't charge that fee to screw over adopters. Most rescues focus on donations to keep running. Complaining about a $500 adoption fee when you just got a fully better animal is ridiculous. Also, a good rescue will work hard to make sure you're adopting an animal will fit in your home. If the fosters rejects you, it doesn't mean your bad. It just means they it wasn't the best fit.
This was mostly ill written garbage. I think I'm done with this garbage site??!!!!!
No not on the computer playing games I'm usually charting. Looking at test results, your medical history, the meds you are using etc.
From medicine: No, we are not all just googling things when we look at the laptop or blackberry. We're often looking at the PDR, and it's much faster than the physical PDR. (The Physicians Desk Reference, a pharma guide that's about 2,000 pages of tiny print.) We may be reviewing your medical history, if it's available. We may even be checking to see if a specialist is in the hospital at the time. Do not assume we're going on Web MD. Please. Thank you.
Most people don't understand that before they get a med prescribed you have to first make sure there won't be any reactions
Load More Replies... Every person that doesn't want socialized medicine because they won't want their taxes to pay for someone else's healthcare....they already are. The tons upon tons of people that treat the ER like a walk in/minor care clinic because it's "free"...how do you think the hospital recoups that loss?
Exactly! ... And now you can explain the idiocy of medical costs in the US to some extent. (They also just like big profits. Patients second, the ba*tards.)
Load More Replies... I think what's most annoying is when people constantly complain about their job and have to go on and on about how exhausting it is. My job is hard, your job is hard, most jobs have some negative aspects, working sucks. I mean it's one thing to vent about a bad day but some people just need to either switch their careers or at least switch their attitudes.
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody and they meet at the bar" - Drew Carey
Load More Replies... When you see errors in films and shows, like camera crew reflections or background things from the wrong time, it's very likely the production knew about them but let them stay in. Fixing things in post costs _a lot_, and you are on tight deadlines to air the show. Quality control will catch a lot of errors, and most will be fixed, but some there won't be the time or budget for so the flaws are knowingly left in.
IT architect and tech.... yes, if we are competent - we do have periods where we don't do much..... that's the result of designing and implementing something well.... and we were doing 80-100 hour weeks during implementation.... that's the life-cycle - get used to it. If you see someone who is busy all the time, they are an average (at best) tech.
When IT are busy fixing an emergency: Why did this happen, what do we pay you for? When IT are not busy: What do we pay you for?
Load More Replies... Digital artist: I don't just draw a couple lines and a finished piece appears lol. Digital art is basically just as much hard work as traditional art, though having some specific advantages (the ability to resize, separate layers, THE UNDO BUTTON) and disadvantages (different colors on different screens, less leeway for brush and blending techniques, you can't see all of your canvas at once sometimes). Art is art and it all takes time and skill.
I don't even have a child and I know that's something you don't wanna skimp on
Load More Replies... That who you vote for makes no difference because the elections only replace ministers ("secretaries of" in USA). Elections do not replace any other officials. Especially not the ones in charge of fixing potholes in your suburb's streets. Therefore, if you really want a change in your country, e.g. you want free healthcare, you have to actually change your entire system of government, because as it is presently structured, it is designed to keep things as they are.
lol... what? You have a gross misunderstanding of how the system works
Load More Replies... Market Research: When you give one company providing a service your contact info and they have sign a contract or application for anything, read the fine print before you go off at a research interviewer because you didn't realize part of the fine print included possibly being contacted for customary feedback or market research.
Behavioral health worker here. No, we don’t “do this job for the money.” The vast majority of us are underpaid and overworked. We subject ourselves to hearing some of the most awful things a person can do to themselves, or someone else, because we want to help you get better.
Honest question, every bmh worker I have dealt with mostly tells the patient "you are not trying hard enough" would you also say that to a cancer patient? (Btw, meditation, journaling, crafts, eating right (not eating when I can not afford good food). Still not good enough?)
Load More Replies... The only reason you survive break checking a tractor trailer is because the driver needs to keep their job. Even with a dash cam it's not a given that we won't be found at fault. Your vehicle (yes even your jacked up obnoxious pick up "truck") may as well be made of tin foil. You've no idea the self control and reflexes it takes to not just drive over you for being an idiot putting the lives of everyone around you at risk.
from someone who works by taking art commissions: please be specific about what you want—no it's not rude to show us the exact pose you'd like! that's actually a major help! art isn't magic, it needs instructions—if you're unhappy with the sketch you're shown, say something before I pour hours of work into lines and coloring! don't complain once I'm done with it because there's nothing I can really do at that point
Here's one for ya: Digital and traditional artists don't make a lot of money unless they put in a few years of good, solid practice, and being with the right audience. I cannot tell you how many people don't realize that just because You draw well and have a few fans it means nothing without a presence and a firm grasp of the craft. Even if your art is considered bad, you're still rooted in those years of trying, you may just not be in the right place, forum, or site.
CGI artist (student still): No, we cannot just magically turn a bad shot into a good one. If the scene looks good, it means that both the VFX artists and the camera crew did a good job, because a terrible shot will still look bad even with ungodly amounts of visual effects thrown on top of it. Appreciate the camera crew!
The so called material scientist confused me. The US has the world's largest helium reserves and has been selling them off at cut rate prices to avoid the cost of storage. So who is this person?
We don't just put your pcr in a magical machine and get results, we don't just look at random stuff in a microscope and show the doctor, we don't just draw your blood, put it in a bag, and just transfer it to someone else. We are also healthcare professionals know perfectly and diagnose based on your samples, we don't just pick up some fancy machine and use it, even through years of working with centrifuges, if I get a new one, I have to read the entire manual because medical equipment is delicate and all manufacturers are different, pcr is a much more complex process, no machine does the work, machines are just tools for us to analyze the samples, separate, calculate and everything our works needs to be able to do something so delicate, we are not just there to control the machines, they serve us, not the other way around
In animal rescue: adoption costs are small potatoes compared to the amount of money rescues spend in animals before they can be adopted out. Rescues don't charge that fee to screw over adopters. Most rescues focus on donations to keep running. Complaining about a $500 adoption fee when you just got a fully better animal is ridiculous. Also, a good rescue will work hard to make sure you're adopting an animal will fit in your home. If the fosters rejects you, it doesn't mean your bad. It just means they it wasn't the best fit.
This was mostly ill written garbage. I think I'm done with this garbage site??!!!!!
No not on the computer playing games I'm usually charting. Looking at test results, your medical history, the meds you are using etc.
