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Nobody’s flawless. It’s a simple fact, but it needs repeating: nobody is perfect; everyone has flaws. In reality, it’s a very tough idea to accept about our loved ones. Especially for parents, many of whom believe that their children are peerless angels and the best people on the planet.

However, some brutally honest parents anonymously opened up about their kids’ very worst character and behavior flaws in a series of r/AskReddit threads. They were very candid about what they dislike about their munchkins, and what they absolutely loathe about the things that they do. From excessive arrogance to compulsive lying and even worse, what follows is a dive into the darker side of parenting.

A small warning for all of you Pandas: this is an article that includes a lot of sensitive posts. Some of them might make you feel uncomfortable. Others might resemble your own family situation a bit too much. Keep that in mind as you start reading.

Bored Panda wanted to learn more about parenting, so we reached out to mom Samantha Scroggin, the blogger behind 'Walking Outside in Slippers.' She was kind enough to answer our questions about the challenges that parents face, correcting 'bad' behavior, and how there's no single right answer when it comes to rewards and punishments. You'll find her open and honest insights as you scroll down.

#1

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My oldest son is severely autistic and twelve years old. Imagine someone bound by OCD that cannot talk and cannot understand seemingly very simple concepts.

He can understand some things, but the concept of abstract communication eludes him; i.e., I can tell him to get dressed, but he cannot understand that the 'tag' on a shirt goes behind his neck. So, there is a 25% chance his shirt is on correctly, 25% chance it is on backwards, 25% chance it is on facing correctly but inside out, and 25% chance it is on backwards and inside out. Of course, if it is cold outside, there is a 50% chance he'll come out in shorts. That isn't really too big a deal, but the inability to grasp this portion of communication bleeds into everything, things 99.9% of people take completely for granted.

When he was three, he had an ear infection. We didn't know that, of course, we just knew that he was inconsolable and in pain from *something*. He does not understand questions like 'does it hurt here?', or 'show me where it hurts', or 'does your stomach hurt?' Eventually his ear drum burst out yellow stuff and we said, 'oh. ear ache'.

He has never been given an aspirin for a headache. He's probably had a headache, but I don't know. He can't tell us if he has a headache, or any other kind of ache.

He can use the toilet, but doesn't really get using toilet paper. Or maybe he does, but saw us get upset once for throwing an entire roll into the toilet, so lately he has been going to the bathroom at 5:00 am, then finding clothes, sheets, towels, something, whatever, and wiping his a*s with those. We've pretty much run the washing machine on sanitize about .75 times a day the last two weeks. He's got a reason for it somewhere in his head that makes sense to him, but he can't tell us what it is, and we can't get him to figure out to f*****g come and get us if he's taken a s**t.

We've taken to 'hiding' foods he prefers in the house, given free reign to potato chips, or humus, or cranberries, or f*****g whatever, he'll eat and eat and eat, and then throw up later that night. It's not his fault, he's been on anti-psychotics for a few years now, one side effect of which is weight gain. I hate, f*****g hate, giving him anti-psychotics, but not quite as much as how he acts/acted when he wasn't on them.

As a family, we cannot realistically travel. Interruptions to his routine result in a constant moan / whine / crying / occasional outburst of self injury, or rarely, attacking others. The pain and fear he feels is very real to him, and we are powerless to provide him comfort. Instead, my wife will travel with my other sons while I stay home with him.

He has never had a friend that was not direct family or therapist. I don't see how he ever will. He will never kiss a girl, drive a car, or have a job. I have no idea if he *wants* to do those things or not, of if he knows they exist as things at all.

In the early days of his autism, we threw therapies at him by writing checks against the house and credit card companies to the tune of 30K+/year for five years or so. (insurance has subsequently helped out some with this). We're still digging our way out of that, slowly but surely. Ultimately, however, they haven't really done much in the context of turning him into a person that can life his own life. For example, they are working on having him keep a band aid on; they've had that as part of his program for about six months, and he'll keep a band aid on for fifteen minutes or so. Great. The reality is that when he gets a cut or laceration, it sits open for weeks; he simply will constant tear away any bandages. I'm sure that he has good reasons in his mind for not wanting a bandage on, but he just doesn't understand the concept of 'medicine' making you feel 'better' 'in a few days'; none of those things seem to get through.

He's never been to the dentist. There are some that will work with children like him when he is unconscious. We just haven't felt like giving him anesthesia to take him to the goddamned dentist. It's on the list for this year.

He goes through periods of self injury. When he was a toddler, he banged his head, *a lot*. He broke a few windows in our home. He very likely concussed himself a few times. Lately, he's been punching the table during favorite scenes from Disney films; he has a blood blister about three inches long on both hands. He understands when we tell him, 'don't do that, punch the pillow instead'. He'll punch the pillow for a few minutes, and then start banging the walls again; he is simply a slave to the routine.

When my wife and I die, people that make $10 an hour will take care of him, or not, for the rest of his life.

There's more, so much more, and the thing about autism is that it does not take one m***********g second off. Nobody gets a day off. Ever.

He works harder than anyone I know, harder than anyone reading this thread will ever work, and gets s**t to show for it. He inhabits a world where everything is too loud, too bright, too confusing and too unconforming to his patterns, and is trying as best as he can to navigate through it. He didn't ask for any of this. Sometimes he's got a d******d father who gets mad at him, who resents him for all of these things and a million others that he cannot control. Me. But he deserves better than that, so I'm trying, every f*****g hour of the day to remember that he is the one who got the raw deal, not me, not his brothers, him. I have bad moments, but no longer bad weeks or days. I'm working on it, if only I could work as hard as he does, I'd be golden.

So the answer to your question is autism happened to him, to us.

superThrowtasticChie , Andrik Langfield Report

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julietemily64 avatar
Chaotic-Pansexual (she/they)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These are things for why I’m glad I’m on the high functioning end of the spectrum. While, things are still rather difficult and I did get injured a lot as a child (much of my childhood I don’t remember well), being on this end allows me to still be able to navigate the world decently well and my loved ones don’t have to go through this kind of thing anymore, now that I’m older. I feel for those who still have to struggle this way

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Parenting blogger Samantha, from 'Walking Outside in Slippers,' explained that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Every family, every situation is unique.

"'Bad behavior' has become very subjective for me when it comes to kids. I have a son with ADHD, and he can't always control his outbursts. Those outbursts can include cursing or kicking a wall. There was a time when I would have wondered why parents with a kid like that weren't doing their job. But punishment isn't effective with my son," mom Samantha was very candid about some of the challenges that she has to face as a parent.

"Screaming and yelling back only add fuel to the fire. He does better with rewards and consistency. I believe it's important for parents to customize their parenting and consequences for undesirable behavior to what works best for their child. There's no one-size-fits-all punishment for all kids," she said.

#2

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why When I became pregnant, I had not ever wanted a child. I was not at all happy, in fact I cried so much and became very depressed. I felt very pressured I to going through with it by my husband. He had very good intentions but it was just not something I wanted for myself. We had agreed before we married that we did not want children.
So I was very resentful and miserable. But I absolutely did my best to be a good mother because my baby had no say in this and I beleive all babies deserve loving mothers regardless of circumstances. So I faked it as best as I could and got help. I never wanted to hurt her or for her to feel unloved but it was so hard.

Never did it feel natural to me. I never found much enjoyment out of raising a child, I was exhausted and burned out by all the stuff kids do. I resented giving up my plans, my work, my horse, my whole identity for a child I never wanted.

My daughter is now ten and we have a great relationship. I enjoy her her company now. My harshness has pretty much dissipated and I feel much better about being a parent now. Hoping my early issues have not forever damaged her.

anon , Jelleke Vanooteghem Report

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melanieking avatar
Axolotl King
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You sound like a lovely parent, maybe it's not what you wanted and I'm sure it was incredibly rough but you are giving her an amazing childhood and not putting the blame on her at all. That is so awesome and I hope she recognizes and appreciates that someday

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#3

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Using throwaway because my wife knows my reddit. When she was pregnant with our first and only child, we knew before birth that she was high risk of down syndrome because the gene was quite prevelant in both our family histories. We both got tested and the doctor told us that our daughter had over a 80% chance that she will be born with Down Syndrome. Our marriage up to this point was happy and wonderful.

We dated for 9 months before getting married, and were more of partners than a couple. Everything we did, we decided together. We bought our own business, which didn't cause any fights, but rather we thrived because she was good at what I wasn't and vice versa. I was a messy 'kid' before I met her, and she helped me change my ways. She lacked hobbies before I met her, and I helped her find things she truly loved doing. We were happy, very very happy.

The doctor told us that abortion was a viable option, but we needed to decide within a week or it would be too late. I knew right away that I was for the abortion, but didn't know how to bring it up. When we finally did sit down and talk, I brought all sorts of articles and books on kids with Down Sydnrome. I tried to show her rather than convince her of how hard our life would be if our child actually did have it. It was going to be hard for both os us to have a healthy child, let alone one that needed far more care. We were both busy, and happy.

She didn't want to take out our unborn child, and there was nothing I could really do to change her mind without really really making her mad and ruining our relationship. So reluctantly, I went with it.

As luck would have it, our daughter was born with translocation Down Syndrome. Only 1% of all cases of down syndrome are that, and it has a lot to do with heriditory conditions. I don't want to go into how bad our life became. I really can't even handle typing it out. My wife had to quit her job which she adored. We had to move to a smaller house after a year and a half because of the medical bills. When I came home from work, she was too tired to talk or even see me and went to bed, and my entire 5 hours of free time every. single. day. was spent caring for our daughter in some form or another. I Didn't see my friend for 9 months. Missed my cousins wedding because we couldn't even think about travelling.

Everything changed, and everything changed for the worst. My wife and I only talked when we fought. Either she was too tired and that caused her anger, or I worked too much and didn't help her enough. To tell you my life went to s**t is an understatement, because I can't even imagine how much extra stress my wife must have endured in those first couple of years.

I don't hate my daughter. But I do resent the fact that we had her, even though I knew our life would be this way. I go to the parks sometimes and sit and watch all the happy fathers play with their happy kids. Watch them throw the ball around, or just run around the jungle gym. That's the life I wanted, that I dreamed of, but I will never have. My wife and I are still together because neither wants to burden the other by leaving.

throwheraway19999 , John Looy Report

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Bored Panda was interested to understand how parents might deal with their kids lying. "When I catch my kids lying, I try to get to the root of why. And I let them know that lying is a worse offense than whatever they're lying to cover up," blogger Samantha explained how she approaches this with her own kids.

"I believe in setting high expectations for kids as far as expecting them to be good, honest people who are kind to others. And I often communicate the importance of this to my kids."

#4

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My middle son (19) stole a 9mm pistol from my 82 year old father. When I confronted him about it he said I didn't understand, he needed the money and if I had given him more he might not have done it. 2 months later got caught on video stealing the candy money jar from a Mexican restaurant, again says if I'd had given him money ( because he's completely cut off at this point) wouldn't have done it. Downward spiral continues, he takes no responsibility for anything . He's a selfish a**hole who won't take care of his kids much less himself. I never thought I'd say this about my own child but F**K THAT GUY.

jjon670 , Fa Barboza Report

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bridgetnewell avatar
bruh JJ’s
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, that is hard! Sorry you’re dealing with such a complicated situation. .

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#5

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My feelings changed the moment my (then 17 year old) daughter sucker punched me on side of my head during an argument about her cleaning her room. If I wasn't holding my 1 year old at the time I'm positive I would have knocked her the f**k out. I guess in my mind she did something taboo. You never, ever hit your mom...but she did. I love her but she broke my heart that day and I can't seem to get over it.

lovdatcowbell , Julia Taubitz Report

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soggy-teabag-89 avatar
Charlotte Grace
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel that. Although my (high functioning autistic) 13 year old and I have gotten into a lot of physical altercations, when he punched me in the face and I had to call the police a definite line was crossed, and I don't think things will ever be the same.

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#6

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My son told his friends that I was abusing and molesting him because he wanted the attention. We were very close. Child services were called and then the police. He stuck to his story. I don't hate him. I never could. Sometimes I'm very angry but mostly the betrayal gets me. I would never have believed he would do that. After several awful months I think it's going to be alright legally but the legal fees and stress has been overwhelming. Things will never be the same between us. He is a teenager btw

throwawaymine75 , Aarón Blanco Tejedor Report

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emmuzka avatar
Emma London
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a way to destroy your relationship with your parent forever - For teenager's crave for attention.

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Samantha agrees that we tend to become more empathetic towards others as we grow up. "I know I have become much more sensitive to the plight of others. Maybe this is due to having kids myself, and feeling a little bit like everyone's mom. Or just an increased awareness of mortality and people's differing life circumstances. But empathy is a good thing. Most of us could probably use a little more of it," she said.

Very recently, Bored Panda spoke about kids’ capacity for empathy and (the lack of) kindness with psychologist, author, and mom-of-four, Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D.

"Children learn from observation of what others do, but also through explicit teaching and explanations, and through experience and observation of how others respond to certain actions," Dr. Kennedy-Moore explained to us, adding that we tend to develop more empathy for other people as we grow and mature.

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"In general, we become more empathic at 19 than we were when we were at age 9, and that continues, so we're more empathic at 29 than 19, at 39 than 29, simply because we've experienced more of life, so it's easier for us to put ourselves in someone else's shoes," the psychologist said.

#7

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I made an account just for this question. I beyond resent my son. He's seven. He lies all the time, never listens, and does harmful things to others. His father took off before he was born. The state say they can't find him without a SSI or address for me to receive support. I've been living off the state for over six years. I work and go to uni full time. Every day is an argument and fight with this child. There are no fun times. There are no happy moments. He makes me miserable. All I want to do is graduate with my bachelors in engineering. Every morning he makes me late for class because he refuses to listen to a single word. I've tried all the ways of disciplining or rewarding to get him on track. He's in special education for speech and math support. The doctor diagnosed him with ADHD last month. We are working through getting the right dose. But, for now- he made me miss my calculus class again because he refused to get out of bed this morning. I don't think I love him anymore. I feel like he's sabotaging my life and chances for getting out of the welfare system. I'm miserable with him in my life.

Shizilly Report

#8

I recently gave up all parental rights to my only child, a son, after 13 years of dealing with his mother's lies, accusations, criminal and family lawsuits based on lies.

I truly loved my son. I was an excellent father who did everything possible to teach him the value of truth, kindness and honesty in life.

I have been accused of starving him, beating him, doing cocaine, methamphetamine and heroin (none of which i do). I have had to invest thousands of dollars in legal fees to defend against false claims.

My son has picked up her lying manipulative ways, as well as her desperate need for all attention to focus on her. He has become a liar just like his mother, who supports her falsehoods with his own voice. He has threatened to shoot me, and himself with my business protection firearm.

For the safety of myself, and the safety of my wife, i have severed all ties, and allowed him to be adopted by his stepfather... who is an evil and manipulative man just as his mother is... he is on his own, in a world i know little about. I fought hard for him, but he continued to lie, not only supporting her outrageous claims, but also coming up with some of his own, for added flair.

After 12 years of crushing heartbreak, i gave up.

Life has been so much less stressful and crushing since. I do this knowing that I gave 150% of my self to parenting so my burden of guilt is minimal.

**EDIT:** Lots of people pointing out that I am not perfect. Agreed. I definitely have my faults.... Numerous, as humans tend to be. None-the-less... The level of hateful alienation exacted by this woman defies all logic. None of her drug claims were true. believe it or don't... The facts are facts. None of the abuse claimed was true. I never even spanked this child, for fear of the obvious; She would call CPS at the first possible opportunity.

he and I spent each visitation together, hiking, biking, reading, motorcycling, learning, traveling, camping, preforming kitchen science experiments for fun answers to random kid questions.... I don't claim that this makes me a saint. I do, RIGHTFULLY, claim that this makes me a good parent. more so than many modern parents offer to their children in the age of "electronic babysitting". I paid my child support for 13 years, never missing, While she told him I refused to pay or help her.

My mother has showed up to her home to pick him up for visitations, while she and her friends and family would hole up inside her home, and call the police to report that I was "storming down their door". Meanwhile, the police arrive and find that my 67 year old mother was out in the car, alone, not me... Imagine the sheriff's surprise! Why was my mother there instead of me you ask?? Because 2 weeks earlier the police showed up to my home, after i picked my son up, saying that i had pushed her down and slapped her.... again... believe it or not, i just didn't to these things. it's a fact, so i don't need approval on it.

There is, in this world, a growing disregard for what is right and moral. This woman, and those she surrounds herself with are part of that toxic society. It goes far beyond simple family discord. Remember, this child has already made a LETHAL threat of grave bodily injury to himself, and me. This is not to be taken lightly in our current times. I believe that this general loss of respect for others is exemplified in this woman, and the way she has chosen to approach our *former* parent/co-parent/child relationship. This toxic child-rearing has destroyed his chance at a normal perspective on life. he will always view the world through a lens of deceit and anger. I genuinely tried to help, but when he won't help himself, and goes further still, hurting me and my wife... I must draw a line somewhere.

Believe it or don't, I'm a good human being.

my_truth_account Report

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mcalad avatar
M Calad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel for this man. Hate can turn people into horrible human beings. I hope he finds peace.

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#9

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I have a 7 year old daughter. I think she has some kind of personality disorder. Some days she’s her normal loving, goofy self. Then there are other days where she is manipulative, mean, and hysterical. She says things to hurt you on purpose and will freak out if she doesn’t get her way, hurting herself in the process. But if I call her dad and FaceTime with him she stops on a dime and says I was lying and I hit her and don’t love her. I didn’t even know a kid that young could lie like that. She does this to me, my husband, and her stepmom. Her dad honestly believes we are all lying when we say something is wrong. She’s been to 3 therapists and they all act like we’re crazy because she puts on a good act. It makes me sick sometimes that I am happy when she goes to her dads house. I have a 1 year old son with my husband and I don’t want her to do to him what she does to me or her other family members. I don’t know what to do

[deleted] , 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič Report

The psychologist explained that kids need 3 ‘ingredients’ in order to respond to others in a caring way. First, they need to be able to imagine how others think and feel. “The ability to imagine accurately someone else's perspective generally begins around age 4 and grows with age and experience.”

Second of all, children need to learn to manage their distress. In short, when they’re feeling overwhelmed, they tend to not have the ability to be overly kind. "Kids don't have the bandwidth to respond kindly to someone else if they are overwhelmed by their own feelings."

Lastly, children need to firmly believe that they are capable of helping others. "If they don't think they can help or don't know how, they're likely to freeze or avoid situations where someone is upset,” Dr. Kennedy-Moore said.

"Parents can help by talking about people's thoughts and feelings as they come up in books, movies, or real life. This gives children a window into people's internal life that helps with perspective-taking. Parents can help children manage their own emotions by naming those feelings as well as teaching specific coping strategies such as distraction, deep breathing, counting to ten, or using words to ask for what they want," she told Bored Panda.

#10

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Because after his mom died , I stopped disciplining him. I thought if I gave him everything I never had ; coolest clothes , shoes, toys , dirt bikes, game consoles etc would make me a good parent. I was wrong. He's about to turn 18 and i can't even stand to be in the same room as him. He's manipulative, mean, arrogant and condescending. And it's all my fault.

dakipsta , James Kovin Report

#11

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Throwaway because my husband knows my Reddit name and I am not sure how he would take this.

I remarried a wonderful man, my soul mate about 2 years ago. I have two kids of my own. One son and one daughter. One is 14 and the other is 21. He has a daughter. She is almost 8. We met when his daughter was about 3 and a half. It is bad to say, but personality wise she hasn't changed very much the last 4 or so years.

I don't necessarily dislike my stepdaughter all the time....I have just had to distance myself a bit. She has no manners, no respect, she is spoiled and will whine until she gets her way. For example I overheard her tell her great grandmother to shut up. I also heard her tell her mom "You are the most disgusting person I ever met". When they "scold" her she always tries to say she was "just joking" and then she will start crying and saying "nobody wants me around" and stuff like that.

I know this is turning into a long post and I apologize...it has just been building up so long. I try my best with her and I had such high hopes for a close relationship with my step daughter. But I have found that our personalities clash. And I am used to having respectful kids. My husband tries his best to make her act right, but every time she goes back to her mom's or her grandparents it gets worse. They give her everything she wants no matter what and they allow her to talk to them anyway because "she is still little and we may not have anymore kids/grandkids." So I don't blame my husband, I feel bad for him because he is tired of having to be the bad guy all the time.

Oh and she likes to torment my cats. I tell her all the time to be nice to them. Pet them gently or better yet! Leave them alone. But she likes to chase them, pour water on them, throw dirt at them....etc. She has plenty of toys in her room and also electronics and games. But she will cry and whine until my husband lets her use his laptop. She likes to watch toy commercials on Youtube and tell us what she wants for Christmas or her Birthday. She makes these 5 page long lists of what she wants all the time. And then if she doesn't get it, she whines that she never gets anything she wants. Her mother told us she picked out a 50.00 Halloween costume last week. She said she told her that was way too expensive to pay when she is only going to wear it a few hours. Well step daughter proceeded to cry and say she doesn't have anything and never gets anything and she needs new parents.

One more thing that makes me mad....if adults are in the room trying to have a conversation she will interrupt repeatedly until they stop talking and listen to her or watch her do some little something that could have waited. This child gets more attention that any child ever so I know its not lack of attention that causes it.

I could go on and on but no one wants to read a two mile long post of me complaining so I will end it here. Thanks for letting me vent a little.

One more thing I thought of! About a year ago I had my little grand daughter over at our house. She was about 9 months old at the time. Step daughter got caught trying to give the baby rocks. We all get onto her and tell her how dangerous it is to give a baby rocks, babies can choke and get injured or even die...all that. Well, a few minutes later I catch her putting the rocks in my grand baby's pocket and I go mental. After telling her she could choke and die if she gets ahold of a rock she is putting them in the baby's pocket!! Just one more example of there is something not right with this girl.

TL;DR Step daughter has no manners or respect for adults and even tried to harm my grand daughter once. My nerves just cant handle it anymore.

throwthisstepmom , Caleb Woods Report

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lulugrepe avatar
dream of delusion
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

okay i was getting a little annoyed at the “i was just jokingg” part but if you’re abusive to animals or babies or parents or anyOne that’s where i draw the line - i know she’s 8 but she should still have common respect by then

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#12

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I am a step parent. I love my son. Love him like crazy.

But.

He's a slob. And he married a slob with two slobby children and they had another child who is our adored grandson and likely also a future slob.

Their house is always filthy and by filthy I mean FILTHY. They have 5 dogs and at least two cats inside the house. The dogs are untrained and so they chew through everything and c**p on the floor. It smells like a cat box, dishes are never washed and sit caked with food just wherever they leave it. Laundry is piled high against the walls in the bedrooms and you have to pick a path across the living room dodging toys, dishes, dog c**p, and the cats who are always trying to stay one step ahead of the dogs.

The smell of cat p**s is so strong my eyes literally watered when I walked in. Beds not made? Yeah, they don't even have proper beds (we've given them three - don't know where they went). They sleep on bare mattresses on the floor - sheets optional. A floor that is covered with dog feces and dirt. I am astonished none of them have developed ringworm or typhoid. The kids smell like a dirty litterbox and go to school in wrinkled dirty clothing. It's humiliating for us and frightening. They've been reported to DFS, but I don't know what DFS did because the house is still a shithole. The whole situation makes me so angry I don't trust myself with either of them. The urge to shake them and scream "You stink! Clean your f*****g house!" is nigh uncontrollable.

It makes me sick that he and she allow this to go on. Neither of them were raised in dirty houses. I don't like either one of them, but I love them all very much.

Maxwyfe , Greta Schölderle Møller Report

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Aidan Pite
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That sounds like a psychiatric issue, honestly. I hope they all get the help they need. Even if that involves foster care.

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"Parents can guide children toward seeing themselves as helpers by talking about how children's kind actions impact others. For instance, they might say, 'That was kind of you to help your brother with his block tower. He was sad when it fell down, and he felt happier when you helped him build it up again.' Or, 'Thank you for helping me put away the groceries. I'm happy that we got the job done quickly.'"

According to the psychologist, everyone makes mistakes and ends up doing something that isn’t kind. It’s inevitable that everyone will mess up at some point in their lives. That’s why parents shouldn’t jump to conclusions: they shouldn’t assume that a single mistake is an indication of “terrible things ahead.”

"Instead, acknowledge good intentions, describe the other person's feelings, and focus on moving forward. For instance, you could say, 'I know you're excited about going on the swings, but your sister also wants to swing, and she's sad that she hasn't had a turn yet.' Then, to move forward, you could ask, 'What can you do to help her feel better?' or 'What would be fair to everyone?'"

#13

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I know this comment will probably be buried at the bottom but I'm gonna take this chance to get some stuff of my chest.

First of all - I don't hate my daughter - far from it. I love her with all my heart. Instead I hate the life we have.

My daughter has a rare chromosome disorder and is also on the autism spectrum (not full on autistic though). She'll soon be 5 and still doesn't speak. She has a hearing loss so she has to wear hearing aids. By not being able to speak (except for some words like yes or no) we can't really communicate with her. Everything is done by us asking her questions which she says yes or no to. Sometimes she shows us what she wants by pointing, using sign language (she knows some signs), or she goes and fetches something to show us. This covers her basic needs. But we can never have a discussion with her. Asking how her day was at pre school etc. We can't talk about stuff. She doesn't really have any friends and she just recently started "playing" with other kids at pre school. I could go on and on about this. But I'm terrified for the future. I can't really think about how her and our life will be when she gets older without tearing up. So many things she won't be able to experience - even though I don't even know if she would like to.

To summarise - I don't hate her. Far from it. I hate that she has this disorder. At the same time - her disorder has made she who she is. And I hate myself for looking at other families and being jealous for what they have. Hearing friends talking about how they discuss events with their 3 yo etc. Seeing other kids playing together and making up games and stuff while my kid is so far behind.

The worst part is that I sometimes wish myself or my family to be in an accident so there would be an end to this. I of course don't really wish for this but I sometime long for the life I didn't get. Before getting kids - this was my worst nightmare - having a kid with a disability.

I know I should probably start seeing a psychiatrist.

throwawayaloo , Tanaphong Toochinda Report

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dream of delusion
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i think seeing a psychiatrist will always help (unless it’s a c**p one) but.. it’s okay to hate a disability. i hate mine, all the time, and i know many people who do as well. so long as you don’t hate the person who has it

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#14

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why Throw away because this may be my deepest darkest secret ever and even now it almost brings me to tears to type this. One of my children with mental illnesses has been disturbed and has survived numerous attempts.

There have been times where I have had to sit in a chair in her room and watch her all night while she sleeps. Everything is locked up in our house. I keep cleaning supplies in my desk at work and bring them home only to clean and then take them back. Everything is a battle with her. It's embarassing all the times we have an ambulance or cops come over. There is so much more that goes on.

Anyway, I can remember one really really awful period in our lives about a year ago where I honestly felt like had she not survived her attempts that life for me and her siblings would be easier.

There are a lot of days where I feel like I resent her inside. I just tell myself and try and remember that she is still the sweet girl I remember from her being a kid. What I resent is the person she is on meds and the depressed disturbed and self harming person she is when not on meds.

:(

SalePending , Eric Ward Report

#15

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My dad likes to ask me "I bet you didn't know having kids would be so hard huh?" but no, I never in a million years figured how hard, and I by no means have it as bad as some in this thread.

Basically it started at "terrible 2's" normal, ok. But wait no, 3's were terrible, and 4's, and 5's, all terrible. It's a bit of just a bad memory at this point with a few highlights that stand out.

Kindergarten started, the school called every day saying how his behavior was bad. He wouldn't sit down on the bus, wouldn't sit still in class, wouldn't stop talking. During grade school, getting a simple page of homework done took 2 hours because he would hide it, rip it, throw it away.

I couldn't read books to him at night, he would slap it out of my hands, or bounce around on the bed to the point I couldn't finish.

He would go into terrible rages as he got older but still in grade school, threatening to throw up on me, smash the table, turn chairs over. Had no concept of behavior vs punishment or reward. None. We tried everything we could think of. I could say "don't touch that thing" and turn my back for a second, and he was touching it. Short term goals, long term goals, immediate punishment, or 'atonement' in the form of making up for bad behavior with 'good works', nothing matters. Nothing was being learned.

He would steal food. Plenty of health choices were available, want to eat 5 ham sandwiches? Extra dinner? Sure! No. I'm taking eating an entire carton of ice cream, a brick of cheese, 5 Popsicle's in one sitting etc. We tried teaching portion control, teaching how it was unfair that he got 9 items out of a box of 10 when 4 of us were in the house. We tried telling him we needed for instance, a block of cheddar cheese for dinner the next night, but he could have the sliced cheese. Nope, he ate up the block.

He's not allowed to eat food in his room but we find empty cups, plates, bowls, etc everwhere. Bowl under the couch? Check. Old pizza under the blankets? Check. Empty ice cream carton in the closet? Yep. Half eat frozen dinner in a pile of laundry? You guessed it. This has been going on from around 7 until now, at 12.

He was on meds for a while, Focalin at first. His teachers at school called me in one day under the pretense of seeing him read. Instead I got ambushed about how unhappy he was, and how he really needed more reading help. The next day they said he was done with the special reading program. What?

He lies about homework. "I don't have any". Great well the school website says you do, where is it, show it to me? "Oh I forgot it in the my locker/I did it already/I turned it in already". Lies. When hiding it around the house didn't work out, he turned to saying it was at school, knowing I couldn't verify until it turned up as late on the online grade sheet.

He steals, just around the house so far. Can't have soda? That's ok I'll take it anyway. I want to impress a girl? I'll take my moms necklace. My chain broke, I'll take my brothers, even minutes after being told "don't even think about it". I want a game mom said I could have next week? No prob I'll steal her credit card and order it now, or steal my brothers money.

He's currently in detention after school on Weds and Fridays to help him get his work done. He is also grounded. He lied about not needing to go last Wed and didn't show up. He tried to do it this past Friday but I called his teacher and marched his butt back to school. He cried and screamed about that.

I nearly had more than a few nervous breakdown when the school has called me and let me know about terrible things he's told other kids at school. We got into therapy. I took hidden videos when he would flip out, because it was so nightmarish I sometimes couldn't even believe it even the next day.

He's threatened to take his own life because some girl didn't want to date him. We thought we had that talked out with the therapist. Another night when he ran home early which was unusual, and I got a bad feeling. Shortly after the police and paramedics showed up because he threatened to take his own life, and smeared my red lip gloss across his chest and took pictures, and said he had stabbed himself. That was a very expensive bill. The therapist thought we had it sorted out. Nope, soon as he got his cell phone back he messaged the girl saying he was extinct from infection.

He asked repeatedly why the rules are what they are, and even if we lay down the law he'll pester and pester and pester. He'll tell me entirely unnecessary things while I'm working even after being told I need to not be distracted.

We keep tabs on his web activity, xbox, tv viewing, and cell phone usage. We try to provide knowledge of the bad things, but not allow him to bask in it like many on the internet do. I'm not religious but I roll with "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" It's hard. Evil is pretty cool, in many young peoples minds. Trolling is funny to them. Being mean is funny.

We try to keep him occupied with sports and activities, but he needs action and monitoring what feels 24/7 and I can't DO IT.

We have 2 kids and the youngest, who is 8 now, is so much EASIER I want to cry. I would have NEVER had kids if I knew how much work the first one was going to be. NEVER.

Throwitawayok22 , Tim Mossholder Report

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Riley Warrick
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kid needs to go to a treatment center. Unfortunately, OP might not be able to get him in because it's so hard to do if you're not a foster parent, even then it's so hard it's ridiculous. My sister has a kid who has similar behavior (not quite as bad though) and she tried to get him in a treatment center, sent letters, logged every behavior at home and school, even my mom wrote a letter asking them to put him in a center, but because he hasn't hurt anyone or himself, and is under the age of twelve, the judge wouldn't give the order. He would run away in the middle of winter without shoes, pee on his bedroom floor, throw fits that were so bad that they had to put L over and get the other four kids out of the van, and has threatened to kill his whole class (grade 3) and they still wouldn't give the order.

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#16

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I lost all respect when the kid began pushing homeopathic products and therapies. When did this kid become convinced that this literal snake oil is good for people? When did science and logic lose out? What's even worse is that the kid still thinks their views are completely normal and mainstream. Meanwhile, I can't get over the numerous people being hurt by this completely useless hokum every day which my progeny is advocating. All of those 'clients' should be going to a real doctor. My own kid is actually a force for bad outcomes. It makes me ill.

thatcantb , Kelly Sikkema Report

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Lakota Wolf
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I worked in the vitamins/supplements department of a retail store for 2 1/2 years. We had a homeopathic section. I could not bring myself to lie to customers about them. If they asked where the homeopathic section was, I’d point the way. If they actually asked about efficacy, I would tell them that the principle of homeopathics is that you put in a few molecules of an ingredient, then you “purify” it out up to 200 times, but the remaining pill/oil somehow “remembers” the ingredient that literally isn’t even molecularly present in the mixture any more… and somehow THAT cures you. Yeah, sorry, I trust science, not homeopathy.

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#17

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I dated a guy for five years, and he was the sole parent of a kid. He basically raised her barely above neglect levels. She had food, clothes, a room. But he would basically not do anything to care for her and wouldn't even see her for days on end. She was 6 when we met.

I felt I had to step in and help out, and he basically dumped raising her on me. I was overwhelmed, resented the fact that I had to change my life and lifestyle for her. But when I would withdraw, she basically was left in her room (frequently "grounded" for minor infractions because it meant he had an excuse not to interact).

I tried to make things special for her, planned outings and whatnot. She never expressed gratitude, and would blow temper tantrums that things weren't enough, I wasn't spending enough money, or we went to the local amusement park when she wanted to go to Disney.

her father was manipulative. If I took time for myself, he would tell her it was because I was being "selfish". She picked up on this, and would threaten to tattle on me if I didn't do something or told her to take time. She told her grandparents her grades were bad because I didn't do it for her.

When her father and I split up, it was hard because I knew her dad wasn't willing to parent at all, and I knew she would be neglected. No one deserves that. But I had to get out of the bad, abusive relationship. We kept in touch for a while, but her dad started using her as a weapon. I broke contact.

Now she posts angry messages on Facebook directed at me. She is entering her teen years and blames her problems on me.

Mouse98Hut , Janko Ferlič Report

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urszulat
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman did what she could. Really went the extra mile. That is all that can be asked of anyone. I am glad she left the abusive relationship.

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#18

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My mother wanted a boy, had one before me but it was a miscarriage, I was conceived a year after, I was an early delivery, she was in coma for 2 weeks and after that she did not take me or touch me or look at me or even fed me for days. my dad took care of me and looked after me. she still curses me and wishes it was a boy

Powerful-Slice-9 , Arteida MjESHTRI Report

#19

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I don't dislike or hate my son but I damn sure have some resentments every now and then. I have a 5 year old with extreme behavioral/rage issues. They stem from a large dose of steroids required for a long period of time for a previous medical issue. I am not in the dark about these issues, I have a psychiatrist and counselor that we pay for for him. However, no one is willing to do anything because he is 5. No diagnosis. Barely medication (the wrong ones). I have had to inpatient hospitalize my 5 year old son twice. I have another child younger than him that was born around the time that all of this started happening and I just watch the difference between the two. I sometimes wish I could have switched and had her first because the only reason for trying again was so I could have a girl. I watch happy, functional families and it makes me angry because we have been burdened by this. We can't travel, we can't go to parks or things of that nature because he targets other children and I don't want to be that a*****e mom on the playground that just lets my son beat the s**t out of other kids. CPS is now involved for the 4th time in 2 years because at school he cracked a kid across the head with a rock because the school refuses to give him an IEP because he is so young. My husband and I have tried every parenting book, behavioral therapy method, strategy, etc. Nothing seems to work. Some days I just turn my phone on silent because I know its going to be the school calling me saying he wont sit still in class and keeps running out of the classroom acting like an a*s. But I have asked them repeatedly for an IEP and they refuse.

Don't get me wrong, I love my son more than life itself, but it f*****g kills me to watch him have to live like this. He is so angry all of the time and sometimes I have to hold him in a full nelson on the floor crying so that he wont hurt himself or anyone else. I wish other parents knew what this torture was like. The constant self-doubt, and wondering where we went wrong. It is slowly killing my marriage and I honestly wouldn't blame my husband if he did leave, in fact I'd probably send our daughter with him just to make sure she was safe.

So yes, I completely understand where some of these other parents in this thread are and I don't judge anyone anymore when they say their kids have pushed them to the edge. I've been there and back so many times, I have the route memorized.

SilentEnigma1210 , Annie Spratt Report

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Jiminy
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"because the only reason for trying again was so I could have a girl." This is a REALLY bad sole reason for making another child...

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#20

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why God help me, but I really do not like my son. He's boorish, self-aggrandizing, and prone to pulling together two or three disparate things that have most recently come up in conversation and then crafting them into an absurd anecdote or lie. He has, since even the time when he was a tiny child, routinely let things tumble out of his mouth that mortify me. He's nearly 25 now, thank fuck, but for the entirety of his school years I would go to parent/teacher conferences and watch the same sequence play out, again-and-again... I would meet the teacher, we would shake hands and I would already be able to make out the look of disgust on their face. Their expression would so obviously be "Oh, so this is the prick who formed this little asshole's personality, huh?" Then, as they would spend time with me and realize that I appeared to be an ok human being, they would begin unspooling to me every shitty/awful thing he had said to them and the other kids in his class. One time, my lily-white son was trying to get the attention of a little girl who sat beside him and, when she didn't jump to quick enough for him, he said "Excuse me, BLACK GIRL, may I have your attention?" We tried immersing him with loving, inclusive groups at school, at our church, and any hobby/sport/interest that came along that he showed enthusiasm for... He was never invited to a classmate's birthday party more than once... Worst of all? He continually sees himself as a victim. It's not that the shitty things he says to people are the problem... It's that they are too simple to understand how he really means them. They are simply too stupid to realize how awesome/brilliant/cool he is... Oh, it makes me sad. It truly does. I hate him and he won't go away.

[deleted] , Claudia Wolff Report

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Tara Raay
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Narcissistic people aren’t any parents fault. He’s 25, cut him off.

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#21

Ok. I read through the other answers and am going to give this my two cents, even tough I am the child and not the parent.

This has come up after many years in therapy, mostly classical psychoanalysis.

My mother does not like me because she never got attached to me at birth. A year before my twin sister and I were born, our parents had triplets who all died after a few days. Untreated trauma followed. I was born nearly suffocated and poorly, so my mother, wanting to protect herself from more trauma, never attached to me. She did however to my twin sister who was born healthy and thrived.

Years went by and this initial lack of attached turned into resentment or dislike during my childhood because by the time we were eight years old, our parents were divorced, and I physically resembled my dead-beat father. This only worsened during my teenage years as I was beginning to act up years of neglect and became depressed. She disliked the signs of her own doing neglectful parenting and lack of love in me. I remind her of that.

Ever since we have pretended to get along, but the relationship is never really there. I am a mother of two myself now and have taken all of this on board trying to do better. I am also trying to understand her. That ultimately this was not her fault.

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Amy Taylor
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow.. this sounds like my mother in law. My husband was born with a major staph infection and he nearly died in the hospital. She told me that she wouldn't go visit him in the hospital because she didn't want to get attached in case she lost him. That really explained so much to me about their dynamic. My mom lost her first child at 2 days old and the hospital never let her see him or hold him and that tormented her until the day she died.

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#22

Dear God, where do I start?

Mine is a lying, manipulative user who sucks up every amount of goodwill and charity from people before she turns on them. She is either unwilling or incapable of doing ANYTHING for herself, yet she treats every functioning adult as if they're stupid and have no idea what they're talking about. She lives for instant gratification and is unable to see more than about ten seconds in the future. When that complete lack of motivation and foresight ends up with entirely predictable consequences, she blames everyone around her for conspiring against her.

She got pregnant right after graduating high school and moving out. Upon delivery, she wanted nothing to do with the baby. My wife and I were the ones who took it home from the hospital and have been raising it. Our daughter treats her own child like a plaything and only sees it rarely to show off for people. Otherwise, she's not around.

She recently started a fairly long stint in jail. My wife has been sending her about $50 a week for phone calls and commissary. We found out she's been collecting similar amounts from lots of other people, claiming nobody has been helping her.

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#23

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I dont dislike my kids, but I really do hate the life i have. People say the kids don’t need to change your way of living. But they do. They really do. Everything gets more expensive, you can’t be spontaneous in the same way as before kids etc. There are so much things that are so much harder to do now and I feel so trapped and lonely.

sweet-royal-blue , Anthony Tran Report

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David Henry
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All prospective parents should read things like this and all the other examples first. No more of these bright bubbly cheerfully worded parenting books. Show them the other side, how dark and bad it can get, and how sometimes the lifestyle itself ends up not being for you but unlike a bad career move, that move can't be undone. Even if you put it towards adoption you've given them a memory of the family who didn't want them. Sometimes it isn't the kids or parents fault. Sometimes it's the fact we f*****g gaslight parents into thinking it'll def even out and be wonderful.

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#24

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why While my problems aren't as serious as some of yours, I do resent my son. I fell pregnant when I while taking birth control. My husband and I had sworn that we wouldn't have kids, but kept this baby. He fell ill when he was a baby, and it ended costing thousands in bills and caused a lifetime of developmental problems. We treat him as if he is normal, don't tell him why he goes to his therapies, and to anyone who meets him they have no idea that there is anything wrong.

He has put a great strain on what was once a very good relationship. My husband and I were together for 4 years before having him. We rarely fought. After having him, we fight all the time. My husband works long hours to try and pay off all of the medical bills, which leaves me to basically be a single parent. We don't speak to my in laws because they tried to use my son as a pawn to make my husband hate me.

I love my son. I bust my a*s trying to give him a normal life. But I hate what he has done to the relationship I had with my husband. I hate the stress that his illnesses have put on my life.

throwthisoneaway6789 , LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR Report

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Kathi Schäffer
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get that you're feeling this way. Also, we can't just turn off our feelings. And anger/hate is a feeling. I hope things get better for your family! ♥️

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#25

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why My ex had a severely autistic brother. Non verbal except for humming which he would do 24/7. My ex liked to pretend her parents loved her brother but it was super obvious they divorced because of him. They fought tooth and nail on who would keep their normal daughter and who would keep their autistic son. They both wanted her.

CattBooty , Jakob Owens Report

#26

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I realized it recently, in therapy.

It's not really them, per se. I realized about myself that I dislike children, period. That said, the presence of my kids in my life 24/7 has led to a great deal of resentment under the surface that I am now finally in touch with, which means now I'm also trying to deal with the guilt of feeling this way about the people I brought into this world.

I want - desperately - to be able to get in my car and drive to Alaska back just because I can. But I can't. I want to be able to have something called a "quiet weekend", assuming there is such a thing. I want to have money in the bank, better prospects for career advancement, the ability to take a risk like starting my own business. But I can't. I need the stable paycheck so that I can keep food on the table for the people in my house who took my wife away from me.

Meanwhile, my oldest is consistently lying to my face, my oldest two are constantly at war with each other over stupid shit, my third is special needs, I've got two in diapers, and this was all stuff that my wife and I walked into thinking it would be wonderful.

Worst of all: for her, it is wonderful, and that makes me the bad guy for having these feelings, since I'm obviously just being incredibly selfish.

You know what? She's right. I do feel like the bad guy for having these feelings, and I do feel like I'm being selfish, but I can't just snap my fingers and make these feelings go away.

I'm just hoping that one day, these children will grow up and get out of my house so I can have my wife back, assuming they don't take her out first.

themage1028 , Ethan Sykes Report

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Emma London
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's fairly common to people to expect a joyous family life and then it's a huge disappointment when the parental joy of spending time with our kids doesn't come. It doesn't help that the perfect parenthood myth has grown to a such a huge proportion that any resentment towards your kids or even wanting to be sometimes away from them is a huge tabu. So most parents just bite their tongue and bear it, thinking that it's normal thing to do. (It's not. Nuclear family is a recent concept, family units tended to larger and it was common to share parental duties and even give kids to relatives and childless couples to raise if things got too complicated.)

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#27

I love my oldest son, but I don't like him. He's a compulsive liar and a self centered narcissist.

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Anna Tribe
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went no contact for a couple of years then she came and said she needed her mum as her relationship was over. So I invited her in and we drank tea then I started putting my clean clothes away. She got furious, said very little of my clothes suited me and proceeded to throw out 95% of my clothes. She even took them to the junkyard. Then she started complaining about every little thing and nothing I ever did was good enough and she made me feel like I would rather kill myself than her torturing me all the time. So no contact again for a year. Then she told me she was pregnant and needed me. Under the 2 years we didn't speak I'd been shaving my hair totally bald because I was sick of my hair falling out. She was mad at me. I was ugly. I decided to let it grow out and about 2 months later she came to visit and she had bought an electric razor to shave my head. Told her no because I wanted to grow it. Again she got really angry with me. No contact again.

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#28

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I have two children, my eldest son was diagnosed with autism on the day my second son was born. My second son was then diagnosed with CP at nine months so it was overall a pretty sh**ty time for us. We resented our youngest for a while because we felt that if he wasn't born, then we would have been able to focus more on the eldest and his autism would have probably not as severe as it is now. But we let those feelings go some time ago. He is a wonderful younger brother and is doing very well. Our eldest son is also doing well and we can see that he has potential and it is up to us to unlock it. For us the mistake was never that we had children but rather that we were not educated/informed enough to make the right choices which could have prevented a lot of the issues we had during after pregnancy.

jeanpope , Andrew Seaman Report

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Tilly
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Autism can't be fixed or lessened! I think (hope) they probably meant their eldest son would be able to deal better with the effects of his autism, but their lack of focus on it wouldn't have made it more "severe".

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#29

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I love my kids dearly, but there are definitely times I don't like them in the moment. My son has ADHD and maybe a bit on the aspie spectrum (never been evaluated for it but there's things that make me suspicious) and there are some times when he is ridiculously loud, invasive, obnoxious, disrespectful, etc. and seems literally incapable of stopping himself from doing it, or noticing that he's been asked to knock it off, or applying anything he's been told to the next time a similar situation comes up to not get in trouble again for the exact same thing. Then he acts like we're being unreasonable if we get upset or impose consequences for things like continuing to repeat the same loud, inappropriate statement after being clearly told to stop multiple times.

I know he wants to be a good person and cares about others for the most part, but when it comes to actually implementing these things, sometimes he just can't, and between just being annoyed and frustrated with him and feeling at fault for whatever imaginary failing must have existed in my parenting (or more likely his bio dad's genetics) to make him like this, there are times I can hardly stand him.

Still, I'm his mom and I love him and I'm never going to give up on him unless absolutely necessary to prevent harm to myself or my other kids, if he ever gets as bad as his father was about certain things. As more people get vaccinated and we are closer to the "end" of the pandemic, I'm going to start looking for a therapist with some experience with these things.

Dragoness42 , Christopher Ott Report

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Gracie Mae
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think one of the most potent things I've ever said to any of my children (aside from "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed") was once while during a rough time with one, I said, "I love you, but I don't like you right now" & I walked away. I think that hit almost as hard as a slap to the face.

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#30

30 Parents Who Don't Really Like Their Own Children Explain Why I live and breathe sports and activity. His mother was a personal trainer and I was a gym rat, our first date was on a climbing wall. We got married in a canoe. We took trips all around the world. We lived life like a travel brochure.


Our son was born with cerebral palsy and AMC, which basically means the joints in his arms and legs are locked up and will never move or develop. He will never walk or stand, he has limited use of his arms. We will never go fishing, canoeing or hike together. Everything that was so important to his mother and I's lives before him will never mean anything to him. In every way he is so unlike me that I struggle to relate to him at all. When he was born we both were in shock. He got rsv at 4 months and ended up in the picu. He wasn't expected to survive. Honestly? His mother and I discussed it and quietly agreed that it would be best that way. We stopped visiting. He's 11 now.

Mentally, he's above average. He gets As in a competitive private school. He competes in math and spelling bees. I hated school. He is cheerful, kind to animals and unfailingly polite. I was a sarcastic, rude little s**t who butted heads with everyone. For some reason he's still intent on impressing his parents, though I've rarely encouraged him. Despite all his wonderful traits I still try to avoid seeing him because it makes me feel guilty, depressed and disappointed, and I feel like s**t about that because all his accomplishments tell me is how much I should love him. Anyone else would be thrilled, right? If not thrilled about the medical care, at least impressed with his achievements.

I work long hours so that I can provide the best medical care he needs, the best education, anything material he could ever want. And so that I can stay away from him. Because I know he knows. He tries so hard that sometimes I'm afraid it's all a front to make it easier for us to like him.

Amcthrowaway0000 , Victor Freitas Report

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Suzy the observer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good grief, yes! He knows he is a disgusting below-average person. I hope this child soars above his parents and never looks back.

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Kayla J
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are *still* a rude little s**t. He's trying to impress you for love and attention and you're too stupid or pig headed to realize it. Shocker shocker, even if he didn't have a disability your life wasn't going to be a travel brochure with kids. Next time you think of that canoe, ask yourself, what would happen if you fell off that rock wall? Would you quit doing everything you loved or would you modify things for *your* enjoyment. Maybe, just maybe, adjust and climb another way.

bakminn avatar
b
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is so sad. Sounds like a good kid with narcissitic parents who are physically judgmental.

bakminn avatar
b
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is tragically sad. Because the kid can't be physically active they don't want him. He sounds like a delight.

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who has a special needs family member that we ALL rally around and is surrounded by nothing but love and encouragement, this really hits me hard. I absolutely love that kid. He's taught our family kindness, patience, and the meaning of love. He's really smart as well and the entire student body gave him a standing ovation at his high school graduation. If this kid can't find that kind of love and support from his parents, I hope to god he gets it from others around him.

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Tim Pierce
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You talk to any of the other parents in this group they would gladly trade their kid for yours. Grow up and be a parent.

s-e-0705 avatar
Sara
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're right...you should have never been a parent.

urszulat avatar
urszulat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The poor kid. This is deeply sad. I hope that, somehow, he has a good life as he has many abilities and wonderful qualities.

jaysonhammer avatar
TrickQuestion
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ELEVEN YEARS you've wallowed in your own selfish bullsh!t. This is your son. Boo hoo, he can't lift or play sports. Whaaa. Poor you. I'm glad you feel guilty. You should. But having one emotion (I'm guessing it's more self pity) that can be construed as passingly human doesn't make you less of a garbage individual. I hope that your wife at LEAST has a tiny bit more decency. But it sounds like you two deserve each other and don't deserve your son.

holschrk avatar
Bec
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You could have been like that dad who made a specialized wheelchair and ran marathons pushing his son, but you chose to be bitter and resentful. We can't choose what happens to us but we can choose how to react.

dlhrston avatar
David Henry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, this is just a f*****g jock who hated he didn't get a jock and now feels guilt in the 1% of a conscience he has. Hopefully the mom at least went in the other direction.

jlkooiker avatar
lenka
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. You’re one if the few people in this post who is a genuinely shitty person

sabrinapandoo avatar
Nina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a bastard father. That kid sounds incredible for overcoming such adversity.

beritzurbuchen_1 avatar
zububonsai
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I work with exactly such children aged 6-16 in a school, doing circus and relaxing techniques with them. Reading this makes my blood boil. They are all bodily handycapped (like his son, or after cancer, or progressing muscle dystrophy etc.) --- And they are by far among the most bright, smart, sun-shiniest hardest-fighting people I have ever met. One sweet girl has a bigger stage presence than Tina Turner, others are extremely focused and disciplined on their training, or they ask for advice how to keep their room tidy because it bugs themselves... --- Of some I know the familiar circumstances, and it's veeeery similar to this "dad". All they want is a little attention. One boy threw a fit, had to be taken out of his mother's flat to a "rescue house" but because of his special disability he was moved in a new town 30km away, so he lost his friends and school and circus club as well. I cannot describe our last chat and how he looked like. Like someone who is on his way to prison. --- so, maybe you...

beritzurbuchen_1 avatar
zububonsai
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

...aren't able to have him in your home 24/7 (yes, there are illnesses like this that require constant care), but you still could visit him, be emotional available, include him into your family in other activities... Stroll around in easily accessible national forests (paved ways), there are beaches with wheelchair ramps... I'm sorry I can't continue atm.

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Lara Verne
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So their son is smart, nice, and may archieve great things. He don't do anything wrong and is trying to keep his parents in his life. But they resent him and wish he died because he's not like them and cannot do sports. Sorry not sorry, I blame parents completely.

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% I love this kid and don't even know him. They should be so incredibly proud of him. Selfish AF.

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Disgruntled Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just want to give this child a big, warm hug, it breaks my heart to read that he has so much to give and is so loving, all despite his parents treating him like a constant disappointment

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been able to have empathy for most of the stories on here...not this one. This one just made me so sad for this kid. My cousin got pregnant at 15, the father was never a part of this kid's life. He was born with cerebral palsy and is autistic as well. Yeah... massive undertaking for a 16 year old to take on, but she totally stepped up and did everything she could to give him the most nurturing environment. She was also driven to succeed herself. He's now 32 and I feel like he's now a product of her unconditional love and he's made my family all better people. She still has tons of medical bills for him, etc..but no resentment. This guy is beyond selfish,

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K O
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You both stopped visting your four month old child in hospital? That is really sickening

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Fairsher
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At 4 months he was not expected to survive so you stopped seeing him??? did I read that right? omg!

kahlanh avatar
Kahlan H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I felt for all the other parents and understand why they resent their kids and their life but this guy is just an ash**le.

ebytes avatar
E Bytes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m going to try to be helpful. Your son DESERVES to be loved. You are blaming him as if it is his fault for being as he is and for being born. It’s not his fault and you need to stop resenting him. That kid is trying his damnedest and you need to meet him halfway. Don’t think about the things you can’t do and find ways to do them with him. Carry him during hikes or find a trail where he can be in a wheelchair or a wagon. There are ways to include him.

helenhowcroft avatar
Broad Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is f*****g nuts. You and your wife decided it would be best if your 4 month old died? Is it PND the a*****e Dad nurtured and encouraged? I'm baffled.

pauleedee avatar
Paul Z.
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sporty dad can't understand his brainy kid? Dad is a d**k... sorry. Rude and obnoxious jock.

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like he'd be a real s**t parent if his son wasn't special needs and ended up a theater kid, or heaven forbid *gasp* GAY!! I wish I could call my mom and thank her for always supporting me even though I was "different"

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Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This poor kid. This child has every right to expect better from his parents, not the other way around.

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Jennifer Lee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Heartbreaking. No, sir, YOU do not have the right to dislike your wonderful child.

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Lara M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Out of all these heartbreaking stories, this one is the one that broke my heart the most. That poor kid.

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same. This poor kid... I just want to findd him and tell him that he's amazing. :(

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow you all are disgusting parents. I would say I hope you become a paraplegic in a car crash but that would be too nice.

lyndsey-macd avatar
LynzCatastrophe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the first parent on this list I don't feel sorry for. This kid sounds perfect. He's not "messed up" mentally or emotionally (yet), so he's able to communicate, capable of understanding, behaving, etc. Stuff many parents on this list wish for. But because he has a physical disability, that makes you want to get rid of him?! Parents are SUPPOSED to give up things for their kids, not expect their kids to match the lifestyle of a grownup till much later. There were still things you could do with this child, you just choose not to because it wasn't easy. This kid will want nothing to do with you when he's older.

gillian-mackenzie-169 avatar
JillyMack
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That poor boy is constantly trying to impress his father, because he knows his father doesn't really like him. So freaking sad.

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That nerd Zoe ️‍🇺🇦️‍
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so glad this is in the negatives. Literally what. Your son didn't do ANYTHING TO YOU. HE JUST WAS BORN DISABLED. WHAT IS ACTUALLY WRONG WITH YOU OP. sorry sorry vent over

lyone_fein avatar
Lyone Fein
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kid is going to be the next Stephen Hawking, and has a jerk for a father.

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Marble2
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope this guy does the right thing and gets snipped!!!!

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Jan Buchanan
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of all the entries here, this is by far the saddest. Yes, it is natural to experience disappointment when you have a disabled child - I'm well aware. But to reject your son because he can't climb mountains and run marathons with you is beyond narcissistic. If you hoped he wouldn't survive after he was born, of course he knows. Your lack of love for and acceptance of him has done far more damage than any physical disability could ever do. Shame on both of you.

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS!!! Both of my daughters are completely different..one has a lot more in common with me, the other with my husband...I love them both equally!!

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Tara B.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are so far beyond douche, they haven’t come up with a term yet to describe the sheer shitshow of a human being that you are.

jennyv avatar
Bored Broad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Brilliant comment Tara. There isn’t a strong enough swear word for that POS!

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Mama Penguin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your kid may not be like you. He's not able to do all the physically demanding activities like you used to do, but his talents clearly lie somewhere else. You even said he's a very bright kid who's very polite and loves animals. Don't push your kid away.

kaycieekeith avatar
Kitty Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No sympathy for these awful parents. They hate their kid just because he can't go on hikes? How incredibly shallow. They could have had a healthy child who wasn't physical either, but then they wouldn't have the medical excuse to justify their hatred. This kid isn't causing them dramatic harm, emotionally or physically, like the other examples here with seriously dysfunctional or violent kids.

marypigott_1 avatar
Mary Pigott
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why didn't you put him in a bag and throw it in a river then? You'd still have guilt, and you'd be murderers to boot, but at least you could go hiking and traveling again...you sound selfish af, sorry.

katshy07 avatar
Lee
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Oh no!!! This sweet, kind, respectful boy has a physical restriction so I can't relate to him at all! Nevermind that he's already a better person than I was at his age." You get no sympathy from me. I hope for the benefit of everyone in this story that it isn't real.

mapenzijp avatar
Mapenzi Jp
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"We stopped visiting." I'm so shocked. I reread post few times thinking that I didn't get the story right. I turned to see my child who is sitting next to me and had to turn on the opposite side to hide my tears. Poor poor child :( Hope you enjoy your canoeing.

alicedianemarsh avatar
Mantis_Shrimp🦐_123
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really? "Wow, my kid has great grades and a great future ahead of him, but he can't do sports so I don't love him." Do you hear yourself?

emilylynch avatar
Emily Lynch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. I read about these other parents and then your post and you don't have it bad. Your just a jerk parent damaging your son who got the care and love from medical staff and others employed to look after him. As a result he turned out great but not bec of you.

itsjunojacobson avatar
Juno Jacobson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These are the only parents on this list that are vain, disgusting, shells of human beings. And that poor child didn’t make you that way. One day, he’ll realize that he’ll never impress you and that he doesn’t care, and he’ll shake you both off like a bad dream.

itsjunojacobson avatar
Juno Jacobson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Congrats, you’re the only parents on this list that are 1000% terrible, disgusting people. Neither of you deserved to ever have a child, abled or otherwise. One day, that child will realize that he’ll never impress you and that he doesn’t want to, and he’ll shake you both off like a bad dream.

angelabolen avatar
DrLivingstonipresume
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. This guy is an enormous waste of space and this world would be better without him in it.

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Frau von Düh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Disagree, you are not a bad person. You are not a bad person. But you could not integrate the picture you have of how it has to be. Youre picture ist that as a parent you can not have those thoughts about your child. So you are full of shame and guilt. Go seek for therapy. Its OK to love your child in a non Instagram, non Hollywood kind of way. Its OK to grief your old Life. Seek for therapy.

ruthcox62 avatar
Ruth Cox
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please get therapy. Your son deserves a dad who accepts him for who he is and you deserve a relationship with this great kid.

leesa_deandrea avatar
Leesa DeAndrea
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, that's just heartbreaking. Because his son is physically limited, he doesn't like him. Even though his son is a good, worthy person, because the son is not athletic through no fault of his own, his father rejects him. That's just so very sad.

cdeconomou avatar
Chris Sabol
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are a narcissistic a**hole that doesn't deserve that child. You need therapy.

3rainbow avatar
EJN
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need therapy to deal with your relationship with your son. You have some issues that were poked by the situation of your son's medical problems. Providing all the monetary backing isn't enough for a child. Your son wants and deserves a little love from you and since you cannot give it now, you need some help to learn how to love the son you have. Please get help.

sheena_leversedge avatar
Sheena Leversedge Wood
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ouch. even children without disabilities don't have the same sporty interests as their parents. this one, no sympathy. sounds like he'd feel the same if their child was into reading and art instead of physical activity too.

maggspie65 avatar
Patricia Howard
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ya...you're a complete douche bag of a dad get some help and get the f**k over yourself cause from what I see you're still a rude self centered little s**t that has no business bringing any child into this world

jessicamollhagen avatar
TrashPanda
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a heartbreaking story. Your son sounds wonderful in your story, but I know you can't help how you feel. That's why you should get some help - you really need to see a therapist about this.

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just because he has cerebral palsy, doesn't mean he is not all there. If he was 10 or 40 and had something equal to a stroke happen, he's still the same person with mental abilities, he'd be smart and could read , do math and understand complex ideas. People with CP just can't walk straight or speak clearly like grandpa following a stroke. Think of Josh Blue the comedian, there's nothing wrong with his mind, he has zingers and a HUGE sense of humor. Can't give a high five for the life of him, but watch out for the verbal hit. When out with friends , the waitress asked the group at the table what the guy at the end of the table wanted. He replied " First a talk with your manager, then a burger with fries and a coke" She got 'served' some good old fashion lessons on how to treat everyone with respect.

hmbohot avatar
Holly Bee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So....you resent your child for ruining your previous way of life? The nerve of that kid, not considering his parents' needs. Its not like there's adaptive gear, or clubs and such to help your son join in on your lifestyle. Not at all.

sarahk_4 avatar
Sarah K
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For some reason, this story made me saddest out of all of them.

tommorrison avatar
Tom Morrison
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're willing to work long hours and pay for anything, why not pay for a shrink and work long hours on yourself? Your addiction to sports is harming someone you created who depends on you- it's no different than a drug addiction. Get Help. There is more to life than sports.

leanne_jones avatar
Cheeky chicken
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can not put into words how angry I am at this person and how much sadness I have for this little boy. My heart got heavier and heavier the more I read.

andreabennington avatar
Andrea Bennington
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please, please allow me to adopt your son. My name is Andrea Bennington. I live in Texas. Google me and you can talk to me and know I am serious about this. If not adopt, allow me to take care of him and love him

tiffanychouteau avatar
TiffChou28
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That parent should plan on enjoying his golden years alone with his ego.

eglbukauskait avatar
PADNA
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

sums up my impression of religious gym rats: nothing matters apart physical appearance. You can be Einstein and still a looser because Einstein never won a beauty competition

gladyshayessoutherland avatar
Gladys Hayes Southerland
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're not an a*****e. You are being honest about your mixed feelings. It is very difficult to observe closehand disability. It's been almost 20 years since my beloved son's accident. I still have to nerve myself to look at his feet where all ten toes were amputated. One day you'll be able.

nickjohnson_1 avatar
Nick Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s pretty apparent that the kid just wants his love but this douche bag is incapable of doing that. There’s always a risk of having a disabled child when people have kids and sounds like this guy needs to grow up and quit being a selfish prick. As a matter fact this kid is better off not having this douche bag as a father. This dumb meat head thinks that giving his child a bunch of material stuff so he can avoid spending time with him is good enough? Hell no man that’ll never be good enough. This kid will be a better person than this waste of space will ever be.

ditonumpty avatar
Sacha Latorre-Krauss
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, they quietly agreed to practically abandon their son bc he can’t be physically active and so basically won’t fit into their lifestyle. And still don’t want him even though he’s smarter than both of those idiots combined. I hope he one day turns around and tells you both how worthless and pathetic you are.

sarah_a_tate avatar
Upstaged75
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just hope that the kid never realizes how his father feels about him. It sounds like he's going to be a much better person than that jerk anyway. Imagine having an incredibly smart kid who enjoys academic activities and still being bitter that he will never play football or whatever. So much masculine toxicity!

jennyv avatar
Bored Broad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Disgusting parents both of you… your poor beautiful son. This is so distressing and disturbing.

cdeconomou avatar
Chris Sabol
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are a narcissistic a^^hole who doesn't deserve that child.

darlene_thorne avatar
Darlene Thorne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, you really should grow up and love that kid. Stop thinking about yourself.

clwhitehead88 avatar
SelkieBlackfysh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally I'll admit to fearing my future children may have issues but honestly? It sounds like this kid turned out great despite being born different. He can't use his body like his parents can, so he's learned to use his mind and his mouth. Polite, educated, actually trying to impress? I think I'd have been resentful at first too. But as he grew and I saw who he was planning on becoming I'd have felt very very different.

eliyahmcneill avatar
Eliyah McNeill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Something I am currently learning is that before you take of others, you have to take care of yourself. Emotions will do what they want, they cannot be stopped, you can choose to ignore them until they rise to the surface of they're own accord or you can address the problem at hand. Sort through your own emotions. If you want to build a relationship with your son, you don't have to start with father of the year; instead, start small, one thing you two have in common, or let him talk about his favorite book, take baby steps. If you want my personal unprofessional, not-a-therapist opinion; you resent the situation, not the child, but the resentment of the situation has been projected onto him so you don't have to deal with it, but that has also had negative consequences as your now guilty over having avoided him. If I'm being honest, I think it's never to late to try. Take care of yourself first, then your son. Your the greatest thing ever to him, if you offer something, he'll take it.

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Nanu
Community Member
1 year ago

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Nanu
Community Member
1 year ago

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