Weddings can be incredibly special, but planning them is a stressful venture for any engaged couple. There are so many things to think about before saying the magical "I do", from searching for the perfect dress to selecting a beautiful venue. But even when you check every box on the list, one challenge can quickly turn your big day into a trainwreck — accommodating every single person invited.
Nuptials are often as memorable as the guests who attend them. Ideally, friends and family will be on their best behavior and make sure the bride and groom have an absolute blast. But minor mishaps are unavoidable, and there’s always a handful of people who manage to do something so inappropriate, rude, and annoying that it leaves everyone shaking their heads in disbelief.
We at Bored Panda have scoured the web and rounded up some of the worst behaviors guests need to stop doing at weddings. Scroll down for some real-life stories, upvote the ones you agree with, and let us know what you think about them in the comments!
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No-show, after you've RSVP'd.
At my wedding, we had a very tight budget, and had asked everyone to RSVP, so we could get an accurate catering count. The morning of the wedding, some friends of my wife IM'd her to let her know that they've decided to go camping instead of attend the wedding. I mean, even the money thing aside, that's a shitty thing to do to your *friend*. We had only invited 100 people total. Close friends & family only. What kind of friend decides last minute to skip your wedding and go *camping*?
That was the last time we talked to them. Ever.
A proposal. I've heard about people proposing at other people's wedding ceremonies or receptions. If you don't have permission from the bride/groom, DON'T DO IT because it's THEIR day, not yours.
I have to admit that I almost did it once. I vividly remember how the idea crossed my mind — it seemed perfectly logical: everybody was so happy, positive, light-hearted; it's obvious that the guests would have been happy with us! Then I thought about it again, and realised that I was about to do something I would hate myself for my whole life long. And I didn't do it.
We managed to get in touch with a Redditor, black_flag_4ever, who started up a thread on the Ask Reddit online group when they posed a question: "What should you absolutely not do at a wedding?" The user invited fellow members to post the most absurd answers in the thread, and boy did they deliver. At the time of writing, the post has amassed over 15K comments full of ridiculous and impolite stunts guests ever pulled at a wedding.
When asked how they came up with the idea to post this on Ask Reddit, black_flag_4ever revealed their sibling had recently gotten married and this question was on their mind. "You never know what gets people talking on Reddit," the user told Bored Panda. "This may have been the first of my posts that got to the front page. I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed because I tried to upvote and read everything and take the time to write in response to a post, but I eventually just turned off inbox reply notifications. If you’re on Reddit long enough, you will get the occasional front page hit and it becomes a routine thing," they said.
Telling embarrassing stories about the bride/groom when you were told not to.
If there is a professional photographer there get the hell out of the way. Put up your sh**ty cell phone with it's awful flash. Good money was paid so that they could capture quality images of the event and people constantly jump in front of the photographer and screw up the lighting.
As a photographer for school events/important events screwing up lighting is really not ok. I am trying to get a good picture of something that is important to a lot of the people there, yet you don't care.
Letting your 9 year old throw a tantrum because he's not the center of attention.
I've seen that at not only a wedding, but at a funeral as well. Same kid.
Black_flag_4ever believes that weddings are a natural source of comedy and figured there would be some great responses. "There’s few times in life where everyone in your family is stuck in the same room with a whole other family, plus random friends of the newlyweds. On top of this, everyone has to pretend to get along while being bored out of their minds during the ceremony."
"This creates a situation where minor things can balloon into the most annoying things imaginable," the user added. "You start noticing who won’t stop chewing their nails or tapping their foot or checking their texts every five seconds. And then, when people are finally done acting their best for a few hours, they get to go to the reception where things always get weird."
Bringing a child to a child-free wedding. We had a child-free wedding this year, all the guests knew and then a couple (who we had told personally to not bring their child) turned up with their baby. Really put me in a sour mood with them and caused issues with people asking why their child was allowed but not their own.
Um,that's when you tell them to leave. Sorry jacka$$, you knew the rules and tried to skirt them.GTFO...NOW!
Spelling out "help me" in tape on the groom's shoes so when he kneels everyone sees it.
Just like these "funny" cake toppers: The bride puts the groom in chains, drags him away by the tie, ...
Telling the bride about any hitches in the wedding. At my cousin's wedding, one of the guests told her (the bride) that the buffet was out of roast beef. She's stressed out enough and she doesn't need to know. Somebody else should take care of it. Tell the wedding coordinator or the maid of honor.
Thats actually true. The bride needs to relax as shes done her part. Now its up to the ones responsible for this to take the lead and help
Receiving a wedding invitation should be an honor — the bride and the groom want you to witness them reach one of the most important milestones in their lives and hope to feel your support along the way. That should be considered pretty special, right? Well, as you’re reading through these stories, you’ll notice that most of these occasions are notorious for bringing out the worst in some people. Whether they drank the open bar dry, brought a disrespectful plus-one, popped up with an inappropriate surprise speech, or decided this is the perfect time to commit countless faux pas all over the place, they can make the big day memorable in all the wrong ways.
My hair dresser was my really good friend's wife. As she was doing my hair, she insisted I had lice and I had to argue with her until she said I didn't but that I was just too calm on my wedding day, so she thought it was a good idea to freak me out a little.
During my wedding, my wife's cousin used the band's microphone to come out as gay... and then his boyfriend who nobody knew (and was definitely not invited) strolled in and together they announced their engagement.
I went straight to the bar.
True story: years ago, i was at a wedding reception at a big hotel that had two receptions going at once. I went to the mens' room and a guy in a tux was crying his eyes out while another guy comforted him. I took my time, nad learned that crying guy was the groom (from the other wedding), comforting guy was one of his groomsmen, and the cause of the drama was that groom walked in on his new bride having sex with his best man.
When asked for black_flag_4ever’s opinion on the most annoying, rude, and cringey things that should immediately stop happening at weddings, they told us, "No one needs to hear the Electric Slide in 2022. But if you want to cringe, just wait for this jam." Moreover, the user said that guests should control themselves and avoid taking a billion pictures. "If you’re not the wedding photographer then you shouldn’t bother people constantly for photos. There’s going to be photos, don’t worry."
The most common issue I have seen IRL is being underdressed. People show up in boots, camo, t-shirts, etc. It's not the end of the world, but if you can't get dressed up for a wedding, what do you dress up for? It's one of the most formal events a normal person will attend.
If there's a dress code, please SAY SO in the invitation. Not everyone has a few hundred dollars sitting around to blow on a new dress/suit for their idiot cousin's third wedding.
I mean, at least have the decency to wear a nice long sleeved shirt and pants. Jeans can be formal sometimes!
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I dont agree with this one. If I have invited you to my wedding, its because I want YOU there, not your clothes. For some people purchasing new clothing for a single event is just not realistic.
Nobody said new, but at least try and be presentable.
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We requested on purpose for people to dress casual, as it's that one day in your life where you tell your partner that you are so in love with him/her. Why are we all dressing up like crazy for a wedding anyways? So that we can all show who we are not? Marriages should be natural and not a fake, fully planned party where everyone is stuck inside rules they normally don't care about. But yes, everyone can choose for themselves what they want, but I will come as myself, not as somebody else. If in that case you don't want me there, that's fine by me, not going to battle, not going to stay friends either. I've been to dozens of weddings from friends, not one single time somebody complained, even more, I've got positive comments. I live in the Netherlands though, this will probably differ from place to place.
I think it's a case of getting dressed up a bit more than you would do normally, because it's a special occasion. That should not mean a formal tux and evening gown. But should mean don't wear the jeans with the ripped crotch and t-shirt with curry stains, just because you're comfortable in it! In some places it's about showing respect for your surroundings - you're not allowed tennis shoes and/or trainers on certain types of flooring because it'll damage it, but I think a dress code would be specified if the wedding is held in this kind of venue.
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Yeah, because forcing others in buying expensive cloths they are only going to wear a few times is something good. I agree that you need to look presentable, but not everyone has money to buy a tux or expensive dress, i think this fromality should stop.
US here, 34f. Can get a dress and shoes at pretty much any thrift store for less than $20, then $5 to dry clean the dress and $3 for spray disinfectant for the shoes just to be safe. I know $28 isn't affordable for everyone, you're absolutely right that it's illogical to invest in clothing you're only going to wear a few times. Invest in a sewing machine and a less pessimistic attitude.
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Please include dress code in the invitation. Personally, I have never found anything formal I feel comfortable in - but I absolutely don't want to ruin someone elses wedding if this is important to them. So I'm fine with attending only weddings where I fit in, I just need to know if is an issue.
This. After reading this thread, I'm deeply grateful that none of my family & friends ever wanted a big shindig.
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The answer is we don’t get dressed up for anything, we either go out feeling comfortable or we don’t go out at all. :p Edit after reading one of the entries below: there are limits, and by comfortable I meant like decent jeans and a plain shirt, but I’d still prefer a friend show up in joggings and a hoodie than not show up at all.
I went to the wedding of people I didn't know that well. Their invitation specified "semi-formal" attire, so I looked up what that meant, bought a dress because I didn't already have one, and went to a bit of trouble getting ready. When I showed up, most people were in shorts and t-shirts. The bride's own mother wore a tank top and casual cropped pants. It was the middle of summer, the venue wasn't air-conditioned, and there was no water available! I was really sorry I'd followed directions.
Best wedding I ever attended was swimsuit only, at the lake. The invitation said that if you arrived dressed formally they were going to laugh at you and throw you in the lake. Best wedding, EVER.
That is absolutely fantastic- did the bride and groom have bathing suits on too? That sounds hilarious and highly enjoyable tbh
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As a rule if I have to wear a friggin dress, slip or pantyhose, I most definitely will not be showing up. I had enough of wearing that garbage when I was in my 20’s and younger and won’t be doing it again while I’m still breathing.
A friend approached me to tattle on someone she felt was underdressed at my wedding. He wore new-looking dark black jeans and a clean solid black t-shirt. I had never seen that dude in anything that didn't have an expletive emblazoned across the chest or was ripped, shredded, or covered in mud, paint, or both. The effort was obvious and I was so touched I nearly cried. Actually, I wouldn't have cared if he showed up in his regular duds, he was an awesome person and I just wanted him present for my special day. Plus, the only person whose outfit I cared about was mine. And I looked fierce!
I don't own a suit, I attend weddings in a smart (ish) pair of black jeans, a black shirt and DM shoes, I hate dressing up so I can make that much effort so can anyone.
A famous Buddhist monk, Ikkyu, was invited to the emperor's palace for a party. He wore his working attire. He wasn't recognized at the palace, and was kicked out. He returned an hour later in his ceremonial robe, and was shown in. The emperor came to greet him. Ikkyu took off his robe and laid it over the nearest chair. He told the emperor, "I expect you invited the robe, as your people showed me out earlier." He then left, letting his ceremonial robe stay to enjoy the party.
I think it is clear, that weddings have a certain dress code and it dont need to be mentioned. You can choose confortable clothing but that looks neutral and tidy. If you give 0 f**ks about outfit, maybe dont attend wedding at all...
I got married in the courthouse by a judge, with only genuinely close family in attendance, and we were all casual. We had a party after at home. It was fun, I've got fond memories. As for it being my day, I think in the end it was mostly my cat's day. He was a big hit at the party. Huge and friendly Maine c**n mix.
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When my sister married a few years back she insisted it be 'black tie'.....I am not, nor ever haver been a black tie person and for this, and a host of other reasons I declined......she suggested that I could rent a formal gown for the event......nope, nah, not going to ever happen.....
One of my husband's best friends was invited to our wedding, never got back to us. He just showed up in cargo shorts and a shirt. As my hubby pointed out it was surprising that he even showed up at all.
Same with funerals. Had a family member show up for funeral wearing torn jeans a tshirt with the sleeves and sides cut out so any time he moved you could see redneck nipple, and a cowboy hat. To top off the outfit he had a beer in a beer koozie on string so he could hang his beer around his neck and go “hands free”. This was inside a church and at one point during the sermon while people were singing amazing grace he popped the tab on a new beer to put in his koozie. What a nice way to honor my husbands father..
I only asked that guests wear dress casual clothes. Work clothes, church clothes, dinner out clothes were all fine. No "clubbing " clothes and no jeans/cut offs. Didn't have to get fancy, just look nice and be comfortable. SIL (20) wore a crappy ugly sundress thing with knee highs that showed and loafers. I refused to get upset, but she's only in 1 picture
I disagree. We had a Country Christmas wedding, it was amazing. I told everyone, dress however you like (except white) My brother and his wife showed up in christmas footy pajamas. I loved it. I was so excited. Everyone partied and had a great time.
That's real stupid. Is it a wedding or is it about clothes? If they are there and they are nice and all, that is more important.
I can't upvote this one. Not everyone has the funds to afford fancy or formal clothing. Should it be clean and tasteful? Yes. And by "tasteful" I mean not having offensive phrases or pictures on it. But really the point of the event is to have the people that you're closest to share an important occasion in your life with you, not to put on a fashion show. I think too many people overlook this.
I'm actually having a hard time compromising on this for my wedding. I was raised with the mindset that weddings are one of the most formal occasions you'll ever attend, and you should dress as such (full suit, nice dress (obviously not white), etc.), but my soon to be wife's family is more casual, to the point where I was told that some of the guests haven't and won't ever own something nicer than a "good pair of jeans." Our wedding is lakeside with a garden reception, so I wouldn't expect a tux or anything, but would a pair of slacks or a nice sundress or something kill you?
I used to be a wedding co-ordinator, we saw all sorts of outfits from super formal top hat & tails events through to jeans and t-shirt events, even had one that included a water fight after the wedding breakfast so swimming shorts / t-shirts were required, no fancy hair dos at that one. So in short, stop being so uptight, whatever the Bride & Groom want is the order of the day, it’s no longer a formal event, it’s a special event and that means you are guided by the B&G.
My son married in Holland, they are much more relaxed there, you could tell the Brits from the Dutch. Brits, big hats, facinators, suits , Dutch, very casual jeans, shirts and understated dresses, no hats etc. I preferred the way the Dutch side of the family approached it. The Bride was stunning in her bridal gown ❤️
It was 107 the day of my daughter's outdoor wedding last August and If I could have walked her down the aisle in a Hawaiian shirt, shorts and sandals I would have been a lot more comfortable. The tie and vest came off as soon as I had permission. Having special to her people there was more important than how they were dressed though even though most were dressed up.
Same for funerals. You don't need to go out and buy a new outfit, but show SOME decorum
I was just at a funeral for a 23 year old woman. One of her friends had on a satin mini-skirt, and a bra. That's it. IMO not appropriate!
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My wedding was "come as you are" My cousin rolled up on a Harley wearing a wife beater and chaps. I was glad he could make it.
My wedding was 100% casual. I actively encouraged everyone to dress comfortably as it was late July, and an outdoor wedding. I'm the one getting married, not you. If you wanted to dress up, knock yourself out, but don't do it on my behalf.
I’m ok with everything except camo. Unless that’s your theme.
They aren't the ones getting married. Why should they have to wear a monkey suit?
Why is a monkey suit required for the lucky couple?
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Doing anything that draws attention away from the happy couple and on to you. For example my cousin came out during his best man's speech during is brothers wedding...... Really you could not let someone have that one day in the spotlight?
At my sister's (handsomely catered formal) wedding my no class cousin ordered himself a pizza. He had it delivered to the reception. I'd say that's pretty much out.
Was it a vegetarian wedding with not enough food for him to take his medication with? :p (ps: I still think it’s rude)
After all, nearly every wedding has that one person who manages to somewhat wreck the event, whether on purpose or not. To be sure that’s not you, pay attention to some helpful tips Carley Joy, owner of wedding planning company Carley Jeanne Events, in Springfield, Missouri, had to share.
According to her, the worst type of guests would be "guestzillas", people who are not considerate of the bride and groom and their special day. "Guests can avoid being 'guestzillas' by being respectful, patient, and gracious towards the couple, the venue and the vendors," she told Urbo. One thing that proves you’re being mindful of everyone’s efforts is punctuality. "The biggest pet peeve of most wedding planners is when the wedding party or family does not show up on time or has wandered off and no one can find them. This can push back the entire wedding timeline which can make it difficult for vendors to adjust," Joy said.
As a man the biggest thing I learned was this; Ladies, never-EVER show up the Bride. The only outfit/hair/jewellery anyone should be talking about is hers.
I feel like this should be rule #1
A friend of mine got married and I could not attend (two weddings on same day).When I saw the wedding photographs I was shocked to see her sister-in-law(her brother's wife) looking like another bride! Later I learnt that the groom's friends(who were meeting the bride for the first time)thought that the SIL was the bride and were confused as she looked different from the previous photos. They even joked with the groom that there are two brides for him!
Over-drinking. Unfortunately, I've seen too many mass brawls at the end because of drinking and drama.
Not a wedding, but at a social (that is where an engaged couple rents out a hall for a fundraiser party to help pay for their wedding.) a lot of people were getting really drunk and dancing haphazardly on the dance floor. This guy spun-swung his girlfriend and she just fell face-first on the floor like a tree. It got so crazy my folks and I left early.
As a wedding DJ I could give you a list a mile long. Don't b***h if your song is on the do not play list! No, you can't have the mic to sing along to this song. No you can't give a speech in the middle of the reception. Don't dance along to the couple's first dance/father daughter dance/mother son dance. Don't do a mic drop, those bastards are expensive. Don't follow the couple around all bloody night, there are others who want to wish them well. And for the love of c**p, give at least 5 minutes I'm between clinking your glassware to get the couple to kiss.
Next up, respect the RSVP. Joy stated that to make the couple’s day as calm and easy as possible, you should send in your responses on time and, most importantly, stick to them. "Do not show up unannounced or bring a guest if they are not included on the invitation envelope," the wedding coordinator noted. "This can affect seating charts and the amount of food and drinks available for guests."
DON'T WEAR A WHITE DRESS MOM! YOU'RE 46 YOU KNOW THAT A SATIN CREAM FLOOR LENGTH DRESS IS INNAPROPIATE, I DONT CARE HOW MUCH WEIGHT YOU LOST.
Giving a speech when nobody asked you to
Lastly, show that you care and educate yourself on wedding etiquette. "Waiting for the couple, wedding party, and immediate family to eat first is always important and very respectful, rather than trying to be first in the buffet line," Joy suggested. "Thanking the couple for the invitation and thanking the couples’ parents for hosting the event before leaving is very gracious and will stick out in their minds after."
Do not disrupt the bride and grooms dinner. They've been up since 5 in the morning and taking pictures the entire day. Greeting and not having any time to themselves. Be conscious of what you do and let them be peaceful for twenty minutes.
Hitting on the groom while the bride is chatting with other guests. One of my exes did this to me at my own wedding. I just stared at her and said, "um....no." My wife and I had a good laugh about it after the reception.
If you are a bride, DON'T HOLD ANY BABIES.
They are going to s**t/piss/vomit/bleed/cry all over you.
I've only ever been to two weddings in my life. My cousins wedding when I was a kid (I don't even remember it), and my sisters wedding last year. And the amount of NO-NOS at my sisters wedding was unbelievable.
One of my aunts wore a white dress (even though her daughter practically begged her not to). My sister said she was fine with it, but she was probably just trying to not cause any arguments.
One of my cousins (who we're not even really close to) brought her new boyfriend to the reception, they both got absolutely s**t faced and had an argument in front of all the guests, and then he stormed off. What's worse, he showed up wearing a f*****g Nike tracksuit tucked into white socks with a pair of dirty trainers.
Oh and my other cousin (the cousin from aboves brother) had an argument with the photobooth guy. He got super drunk and jumped into a groups photo and tried to spit on them, and when the guy running the photobooth gave out to him for it he tried to headbutt him. My sister then came out and very sternly told my cousin to leave.
Gotta say, my sister was a champ for all the s**t she put up with that day.
I'm a divorce attorney. I've been told NOT to hand out business cards at weddings.
Don't include the brides beloved Nana in every round of shots or she might pass out at her table and everyone might think she's dead and get hysterical.
All my grandparents are dead now so problem solved - but my nana could drink anyone under the table, seen her drink plenty but never saw her drunk, tipsy yeah, but that woman could easily drink double what everyone else did and still be the most sober person there. My mum however, total lightweight - she's letting the side down
Don't invite guests just because you want gifts. This usually ends up in having no gifts at all. (Had a bride invite 300 guests in hopes of getting gifts, she barely knew them and received 20 gifts)
Yes! And don't expect gifts from friends that you know are struggling financially. Had a friend that got mad at me because I told her I could not afford anything on her registry, but that I'd be happy to babysit her kid for free a few nights a year so the couple could have alone time. She stopped talking to me after that. Sorry.. I think eating and paying my rent are more important than your matching bathroom towel set.
I worked in a catering company for awhile The worst things I saw -
-Bride and grooms opening envelopes to pay for the party ( even once while guest where still in the room )
- someone changed a baby on the table. I have no idea why she could just take the baby to the restroom. ( they did have changing tables there )
- also had a groom get drunk and pinch my backside everytime I walked past. ( he even left me his number ).
But I think my favorite was a bride who refuse to come out of the bathroom and do the first dance because she had changed her mind and didn't want to be married. The whole wedding was spent with the groom pacing back and fourth. And the bride and her bridesmaids in the bathroom crying. It was the quietest wedding every. They didn't even leave together.
You're at a wedding don't be on you're phone 24/7. Why did you come?
Expect to get laid if you're single. Wedding Crashers is a lie. Weddings are 99.9% couples and old people.
Don't have people that are not the bride and groom opening gifts at the gift table or opening cards. I s**t you not, I went to a wedding where the groom's sister and mother were manning the gift table and a side room, and they were actually opening every card, as soon as they were handed over to the table, and if there was cash or gift cards inside they were set aside, and they had a notepad with names and what the gift was, obviously for the thank you cards.
But, holy hell, how tacky can you be that you think it is ok to not be the bride and groom and open the presents on their behalf, right in front of the guests as they give them over. This pissed a lot of people off until the mother of the bride marched over to them and had a screaming fit at the groom's family to stop (There was a verbal disagreement when a first attempt at being civil to get them to stop did not work).
Clinking silverware on glasses to get the couple to kiss
I thought that was for speech or toast not to get them to kiss. Never seen that
I'd say that throwing the best man out of a window would be off limits, but the groom actually did that at an event center I used to work at.
Texting the best man "Make sure your phone is set to silent" during the vows.
Note: this post originally had 61 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.
Sometimes the bride & groom can be sh***y to the guests too. I attended one wedding of one of my friends and didn't get to see the reception. Nor was I able to enjoy the party after dinner. Just b/c the bride told every parent that I was an educator trained for children of all ages including a special training for "difficult children" and I'd be able to watch and distract them so they won't get bored. She even got a place prepared for me to watch them. I wasn't asked or told beforehand. The parents were told that I volunteered to do so. I most definitly did not. So I had 14 children with me & wasn't been able to hunt down the parents between >150 guests. I just stayed as long as I did, b/c of the pups (I don't even like working with children less than 10y - I didn't got the special training just for fun). I caused no scene though - just left asap after dinner & my partner confronted the spouses the very next day. I just couldn't
I hope you took a good hard look at that "friendship" after that. That's horrible
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Making it your entire mission to purposely upstage your future daughter in law... A woman in a clinic waiting room once told me how determined she was to upstage her future DIL at her son's forthcoming wedding ... So determined in fact that she was throwing serious money at it to get cosmetic surgery, injectables etc and had even ordered the same dress from the wedding boutique for herself ... Apparently it was to show the DIL that she would never be as good as her ... I was thankfully called for my appointment so escaped the toxicity, but I truly hope the poor bride to be noped out of there before it was too late...
My own father in law acted similar at my own wedding. So tacky.
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Or just don’t get married, it’s defunct. Tell your partner you love them without needing a ceremony/contract. In many counties after a certain amount of time together you’re defacto (many couples are defacto before they marry). Live happily ever after, and save lots of time and money.
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Generally we can summarize this as: 1. Don't be an a** during an event that is not about you. 2. Be polite. 3. Don't try to make the event about YOU. 4. If you wouldn't want someone to do a certain thing to YOU, don't do it during someone elses wedding. 5. If you don't like the wedding, leave. No one wants to hear you complain.
Fortunately in my case I was quite clear that no shitty people were invited. Anyone who was likely to make a scene was not on the list. Result: 80 people in attendance total. And that was bigger than planned. Kids were allowed. Why? Because in South Africa kids are taught to be basically respectful and polite. If they get needy, then their parent/s must take them outside to play, or whatever. But it's important for kids to see this stuff. Even if it's old-fashioned.
I used to run weddings at a hotel here’s a mini list of offences…. Snorting coke in the loos, ODing on drugs, collapsing due to lack of food, collapsing due to too much alcohol, arguing / fighting relatives, sneaking booze in, stealing wedding gifts, jumping in the moat around the hotel (yes very funny but you are drunk and I know what’s in there so I’ll have to get you out), children misbehaving during the ceremony (it’s a weird environment for youngsters, be ready to go for a little stroll), chatting up the bar staff (you are v drunk, they are v sober and not allowed to sleep with guests anyway), throwing glassware / breaking plates, stealing cutlery, expecting a wedding ceremony to wait for your arrival (you aren’t the bride, be on time), not being divorced from your previous spouse (that one stopped the whole thin in its tracks!), punching the band / DJ, trying to steal a hotel golf cart and finally, setting off fire extinguishers inside the 15th century hotel, animals I tell you.
I'm definitely in a minority but I couldn't really care less about most of these things people hate at weddings - you want to wear white, crack on, you want to propose on the dance floor, cool, if she says yes I'll buy you a bottle of champagne to celebrate, she says no then I'll get you a few shots to numb the pain, you want pizza, go ahead, bring all of the kids, let them be noisy and run around - they're kids being kids - I mean, everyone is different, I'm not a huge fan of being the centre of attention so happy to have distractions away from me, and the people I would invite if I were having a big wedding would be people I love and want there and I'd be thrilled to see them happy and be part of big events in their lives too. It's not often people are together in big groups like that these days, so make the most of it when it happens. I get why some folk would be annoyed by having others invade their day but for me I just don't really care
Most of these seem like common sense or indeed cringe worthy. But some just seem mean spirited. But then again, I don’t think I’ll have another wedding. A lavish forever home house warming will do for us.
Or you make it the way my husband and me did: Decided to marry, made an appointment at the registry office, told two friends (and their partners) to come and witness, had lunch together and that was it. I don't regret it at all. My parents (esp. narcissistic mother) were furious, though.
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I have had a big wedding and a small one. I hate to think of all the money that was wasted on that day, especially since we later divorced. But even if we would have stayed together, I would still say it wasn't worth the money that was paid. The anxiety killed all the fun, never tasted the food because I was trying to talk to everyone.
If you're the officiant, don't sit down and rewrite your notes when the wedding is supposed to start, putting everything half an hour behind. Then tell the guests that the wedding hasn't started yet because the couple is writing their vows.
RSVP really depends on the reason I once RSVPD and landed in the hospital the night before (was there all the next day) the bride still has not spoken to me 3 years later. If your being a jerk sure but a legitimate reason I think should be forgivable
i really don't understand formal weddings. like, at all. i'd much rather (if i could GET married without losing my disability money) just throw on my jeans and a tshirt, go to the local office, and sign a piece of paper. maybe go home and eat some delicious takeout with my parents and a couple of friends. it's all symbolic anyway.
lol, we got married in my wife's parents' living room. Then we drove five miles for our honeymoon. I certainly did not gaf what anyone did at our wedding. It only would have made it more memorable. Maybe people should focus less on how they think things "should" turn out, and more on just having a memorable experience that lasts for decades.
Sometimes the bride & groom can be sh***y to the guests too. I attended one wedding of one of my friends and didn't get to see the reception. Nor was I able to enjoy the party after dinner. Just b/c the bride told every parent that I was an educator trained for children of all ages including a special training for "difficult children" and I'd be able to watch and distract them so they won't get bored. She even got a place prepared for me to watch them. I wasn't asked or told beforehand. The parents were told that I volunteered to do so. I most definitly did not. So I had 14 children with me & wasn't been able to hunt down the parents between >150 guests. I just stayed as long as I did, b/c of the pups (I don't even like working with children less than 10y - I didn't got the special training just for fun). I caused no scene though - just left asap after dinner & my partner confronted the spouses the very next day. I just couldn't
I hope you took a good hard look at that "friendship" after that. That's horrible
Load More Replies... Making it your entire mission to purposely upstage your future daughter in law... A woman in a clinic waiting room once told me how determined she was to upstage her future DIL at her son's forthcoming wedding ... So determined in fact that she was throwing serious money at it to get cosmetic surgery, injectables etc and had even ordered the same dress from the wedding boutique for herself ... Apparently it was to show the DIL that she would never be as good as her ... I was thankfully called for my appointment so escaped the toxicity, but I truly hope the poor bride to be noped out of there before it was too late...
My own father in law acted similar at my own wedding. So tacky.
Load More Replies... Or just don’t get married, it’s defunct. Tell your partner you love them without needing a ceremony/contract. In many counties after a certain amount of time together you’re defacto (many couples are defacto before they marry). Live happily ever after, and save lots of time and money.
Load More Replies... Generally we can summarize this as: 1. Don't be an a** during an event that is not about you. 2. Be polite. 3. Don't try to make the event about YOU. 4. If you wouldn't want someone to do a certain thing to YOU, don't do it during someone elses wedding. 5. If you don't like the wedding, leave. No one wants to hear you complain.
Fortunately in my case I was quite clear that no shitty people were invited. Anyone who was likely to make a scene was not on the list. Result: 80 people in attendance total. And that was bigger than planned. Kids were allowed. Why? Because in South Africa kids are taught to be basically respectful and polite. If they get needy, then their parent/s must take them outside to play, or whatever. But it's important for kids to see this stuff. Even if it's old-fashioned.
I used to run weddings at a hotel here’s a mini list of offences…. Snorting coke in the loos, ODing on drugs, collapsing due to lack of food, collapsing due to too much alcohol, arguing / fighting relatives, sneaking booze in, stealing wedding gifts, jumping in the moat around the hotel (yes very funny but you are drunk and I know what’s in there so I’ll have to get you out), children misbehaving during the ceremony (it’s a weird environment for youngsters, be ready to go for a little stroll), chatting up the bar staff (you are v drunk, they are v sober and not allowed to sleep with guests anyway), throwing glassware / breaking plates, stealing cutlery, expecting a wedding ceremony to wait for your arrival (you aren’t the bride, be on time), not being divorced from your previous spouse (that one stopped the whole thin in its tracks!), punching the band / DJ, trying to steal a hotel golf cart and finally, setting off fire extinguishers inside the 15th century hotel, animals I tell you.
I'm definitely in a minority but I couldn't really care less about most of these things people hate at weddings - you want to wear white, crack on, you want to propose on the dance floor, cool, if she says yes I'll buy you a bottle of champagne to celebrate, she says no then I'll get you a few shots to numb the pain, you want pizza, go ahead, bring all of the kids, let them be noisy and run around - they're kids being kids - I mean, everyone is different, I'm not a huge fan of being the centre of attention so happy to have distractions away from me, and the people I would invite if I were having a big wedding would be people I love and want there and I'd be thrilled to see them happy and be part of big events in their lives too. It's not often people are together in big groups like that these days, so make the most of it when it happens. I get why some folk would be annoyed by having others invade their day but for me I just don't really care
Most of these seem like common sense or indeed cringe worthy. But some just seem mean spirited. But then again, I don’t think I’ll have another wedding. A lavish forever home house warming will do for us.
Or you make it the way my husband and me did: Decided to marry, made an appointment at the registry office, told two friends (and their partners) to come and witness, had lunch together and that was it. I don't regret it at all. My parents (esp. narcissistic mother) were furious, though.
Load More Replies... I have had a big wedding and a small one. I hate to think of all the money that was wasted on that day, especially since we later divorced. But even if we would have stayed together, I would still say it wasn't worth the money that was paid. The anxiety killed all the fun, never tasted the food because I was trying to talk to everyone.
If you're the officiant, don't sit down and rewrite your notes when the wedding is supposed to start, putting everything half an hour behind. Then tell the guests that the wedding hasn't started yet because the couple is writing their vows.
RSVP really depends on the reason I once RSVPD and landed in the hospital the night before (was there all the next day) the bride still has not spoken to me 3 years later. If your being a jerk sure but a legitimate reason I think should be forgivable
i really don't understand formal weddings. like, at all. i'd much rather (if i could GET married without losing my disability money) just throw on my jeans and a tshirt, go to the local office, and sign a piece of paper. maybe go home and eat some delicious takeout with my parents and a couple of friends. it's all symbolic anyway.
lol, we got married in my wife's parents' living room. Then we drove five miles for our honeymoon. I certainly did not gaf what anyone did at our wedding. It only would have made it more memorable. Maybe people should focus less on how they think things "should" turn out, and more on just having a memorable experience that lasts for decades.
