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Woman Lists ‘Things That Men Uniquely Struggle With’ (23 Tweets)
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Woman Lists ‘Things That Men Uniquely Struggle With’ (23 Tweets)

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They say the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. So licensed therapist Yassmin Eldouh decided to commemorate International Men’s Day by taking a moment to acknowledge some of the problems modern men are facing today.

After she was done, Eldouh tweeted the list, highlighting that it’s not meant to undermine the issues women face, but to open a dialogue and shed light on issues that men are dealing with every day. 100,000 likes and 35,000 retweets later, I would say she succeeded.

More info: Twitter

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International Men’s Day is an annual international event that takes place on the 19th of November. It is meant to celebrate boys’ and men’s achievements, in particular for their contributions to the nation, Union, society, community, family, marriage, and childcare. In a broader sense, its ultimate aim is to promote basic humanitarian values.

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So you could say Eldouh has addressed these difficult topics at precisely the right time. Dr. Raymond Hobbs, a physician consultant at Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan, shares similar beliefs that Eldouh expressed in her thread. “I think part of [why men are far less likely to seek treatment than women] may be this macho thing,” Hobbs told Healthline. “A lot of guys don’t want to admit they have this problem. They still see depression as a sign of weakness.”

He was clear that this type of thinking is outdated, coming from previous generations. It doesn’t speak to the current medical understanding of mental illness. “We know so much more now, and we recognize the chemical changes that take place. In many ways, mental illness is just like diabetes, or any other physical condition,” he explained.

Another thing Eldouh has focused on in her tweets is masculinity, more specifically, society’s perception of masculinity.

“When you’re talking about toxic masculinity, it really comes down to the way males are brought up,” Hobbs said. “They were taught to be strong and quiet. If you look at the old John Wayne movies, that was the model we were supposed to aspire to. But it’s also a model that is dysfunctional in many ways.”

In fact, some think this model of masculinity is exactly why men are more likely to underreport symptoms of depression.

Some men added more issues to the list

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Giving birth to a discussion on mental health, societal standards, and manhood

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nbornkessel avatar
Natalie Bohrteller
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so important.... For real equality, we need to talk about ALL problems. Having seen so many boys and men that struggle, I'm glad they're getting a voice here too.

rosselairaeugeniecruz avatar
Wolfstar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Amelia Janavičius isn't BP staff. She's racist and apparently doesn't care about people's traumatic experiences. Her profile picture is fake, too. I found it online. Screenshot...78-png.jpg Screenshot-2020-11-20-at-51434-PM-Display-1-5fb8411bad878-png.jpg

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rosselairaeugeniecruz avatar
Wolfstar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so fricking important. Men are humans too. They have hearts and minds. The one about mental health and the arts was a big one for me. My friend Rowan had PTSD and depression. He had PTSD when he saw his mother die. Depression was the result of being attacked for being gay. They hurled insults at him and insulted his dead mother. He was supposed to go to therapy, but didn't want to because "I'm already weak enough." Rowan played the violin, so we hung out in the orchestra room to practice together. Every single day, we'd do that, and then we'd have to leave five minutes later because people were calling him the f word and telling him he should kill himself. What they didn't know was that he already tried to. Rowan's much better now, thankfully. He got out of depression and is now majoring in music with me. Basically, men are humans too. They have feelings, they're not sex-crazed shells of men like many people seem to believe.

rosselairaeugeniecruz avatar
Wolfstar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Amelija Janavičius, this is precisely why I posted. Rowan is a man that was called many slurs, including the F word. Slurs are not okay. And you're not part of the BoredPanda staff like you claimed in previous comments. Your profile picture isn't even yours. Screenshot...c5-png.jpg Screenshot-2020-11-20-at-51434-PM-Display-1-5fb84019a28c5-png.jpg

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luthervonwolfen avatar
drummerkramer avatar
Bob Belcher
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A decent start to an important conversation. Also realise that men's mental health and growing to be bigger than what society states would help with women's issues as well. We are a team and we should raise each other up at the same time. For the poster that stated this is our own fault for establishing the patriarchy, I don't recall ever having a choice or being a king myself so stop victim blaming men.

kha_duong_1 avatar
K.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s too early for me to think. I’ll come back after my morning exercise. I think quite a bit of us would benefit from having engaging conversations about substantial topics, but we don’t always do because life happens. This subject matter is very heavy and requires many of us to work together to resolve. It’ll be tireless work, with pushback from all sides about the best course of action. The most important is that we come to the table, ready to listen and with empathy. I think all genders are capable of upholding a harmful institution whether they realize it or not. So it’s not your side did this or that, it’s what harm was done and what can we do now. People’s mental health and well being are being recognized more than ever, and it’s sad that it takes a pandemic for us to empathize with each other but here we are. Our state of being affects those around us, so let’s raise each other up as a team (Bob Belcher). I will, of course, continue putting trolls in their place.

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nashamagirl avatar
Nia Loves Art
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is an important conversation and most of these are true. The one thing that is factually wrong is the one about PTSD, which women are actually more than twice as likely to have, due mostly to higher rates of sexual assault and domestic violence. Those things definitely happen to men and should be taken more seriously, but to claim it is more common is inaccurate. https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/common/common_women.asp

victoriakellogg77 avatar
Victoria Lenny
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish people could understand that feminism seeks to help men too. The downfall of the patriarchy would liberate all genders, not just cis white women. <3

emilyduffin avatar
Emilingo (strawberry seeds)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My cousin is a guy. I know he suffered with Anorexia. Though it's less common in men, it does happen.

laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My flatmate was suffering from bulimia, I called a helpline to see what I could do and what not to do in order to try and help him: the help centre was flabbergasted I was talking about a male. Very frustrating that they aren't given the same resources

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ellajensen-kane avatar
PANDAS
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

we need to normalize men being emotional, feminine, and vulnerable. we need to normalize women being strong, independent, and smart. and we need to normalize Non-binary folk..existing. im probably gonna delete this.

meyowmix avatar
Colin L
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men have been handed a toxic and awful toolkit. Myths about machismo have caused me more grief in my life than I can express... and I know I'm not alone. (And the pass along affects to women and children are horrid).

delphinum4 avatar
Zophra
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let the downvotes begin. I hear this. I agree... but I still think women have it way worse because it comes down to to how others treat her which is harder to control such as being passed over for promotions, being attacked raped far more often then men, not to mention how they are treated in many other countries. Men (in many of these cases) have a problem in how they treat themselves/view themselves/express themselves. It easier to identify/get help for a a problem of your own making than one that someone creates for you that you can't easily fight against. We can still improve on both, but I think women have a much further way to go.

truthmonster00 avatar
Truth Monster
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am surprised that these issues are beginning to be talked about. For so long men's issues were laughed off and disregarded out of hand. It's good to see the conversation regarding men's issues finally starting in the main stream

wendillon avatar
Wendillon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sad thing is it's often men laughing off and disregarding the issues of other men too. It'll be a fine day when everyone can just let go and be themselves without having to worry about stigma.

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leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about we jsut eliminate double standards? Just be *people* and not worry so da*n much about what gender is which thing or not? We all feel pressure to do/be/etc., and that's without the gender-specific crap added on! Does it have to be a competition which gender suffers more about which issue/etc., or can we agree we all feel like life is kicking us sometimes, and be *kind* to each other about it? Yes, it's difficult to be kind when hurting. Here's the thing... It's difficult to hurt, too, and feel alone. Ashamed. Weak. So... Let's go with kindness, please.

leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No mention of boys failing behind in school, boys less likely to graduate hs. Girls on the other hand populate more than 50 percent of us colleges and are more likely to graduate. Yet no extra funds to help boys, no affirm action or quotas

iapetosdertitan avatar
Iapetos
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the whole school system is f****d and unnatural, and the frontal learning does harm boys more. Girls usually kind of cope with it. But it would be so much better if learning was a more creative and proactive experience.

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james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS. These are some of the reasons as to why I am a humanist and not a feminist. The biggest problem is that MANY times when people talk about men’s rights, we are considered misogynists. Even though we also talk about others rights also. We need to talk more about men’s rights because with the womens rights movement gaining power (deservedly so), men are losing their rights and being ignored/forgotten.

ellajensen-kane avatar
PANDAS
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i get what you mean, but you know a feminist wants men and women to be equal right?

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zoepolitte24 avatar
OrangeChicken
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I may not resignate with this post as much as other guys because I grew up as a little girl (I'm just now starting my transition), But I do feel some of these. I have been taught that a "real" man always hides what he is feeling. If he doesn't, he is weak. I have been taught that a "real" man likes sports, and to work out, and loves chicks and is always thinking about girls. None of this is true, and I am living proof of that (I hate sports, I am lazy af and I be thinking about both girls and guys if ya know what I mean *awkward wink*. Plz help me I'm still single). Growing up in this world I have always had to deal with girls problems. Now a guys problems too? *sigh*. ALSO I had no idea that people liked to fetishize trans-guys as much as they do, but that's a whole other thing that I don't need to talk about. This comment was so awkward, please help me.

rosselairaeugeniecruz avatar
Wolfstar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, no problem with being awkward. Congrats on starting your transition. A real man is someone who is himself and cares for the people around him. BTW, haha, awkward wink. I can relate. For the part about you being single, be patient. Love always finds a way to make it into someone's life, you just have to look closely and embrace it. And yes, for some reason, people fetishize trans guys. I have a trans friend who'll murder anyone who fetishize him, so I guess it's not okay? I mean, fetishizing someone's gender looks pretty dumb to me. Lots of love <3, Lily

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kpalp232 avatar
BlahBlahBlackSheepah
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is why we need feminism - it's not just for women. here's a call to action - white dudes, you have more power to change this than anyone else on the planet - so do it

rosselairaeugeniecruz avatar
Wolfstar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. And if we want men to help us empower women, we need to take care of them too. Men have emotions too. Feminism is not about making women more powerful than men, it's about making them equal. Also, I don't know what douchebag downvoted you, but they must not care about problems that men and women face.

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You forgot to add men get more jail time then women for the same crime, a male around a child is seen as a molester, a male is automatically seen as a potential mugger/ rapist, men are still dying younger then women, where are the men's hospitals

gayle_bynum_cardosa avatar
GC
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leo I do not immediately see danger when I see a man walking in my direction. I think nothing of it. I also don’t think anything of a man around a child. I think you’re wrong on this; I believe most people are like me and see nothing. If he LOOKS suspicious in some way then I might think twice but I would think the same of a woman (or even a younger child of either sex for that matter).

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twilight_mist avatar
Astrid Nineor
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How many of these assumptions are made by both sexes and how many are made by the men themselves? I never assumed men couldn't be mentally ill, struggle, be sad, show emotion etc etc, and I certainly wouldn't think any differently of a man with than a woman, so who makes them feel they cannot talk about it?

sasyscarborough avatar
Sasy
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Years ago in Ireland they were trying to compensate victims of child abuse, cruelty etc by orphanages of the earlier decades of the last century to the 60s. They struggled to compensate Men because even though they had names they could not get the now senior aged Men to come forward, to admit what was done to them as children. Even family members that knew could not convince them to admit to it, and many Men and Women would not come forward to go against the Church at all. It was horrible, but while some victims could get counselling etc, it was still mostly only women that came forward.

miriamemendelson avatar
Mimi M
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not able to be around children without being viewed with suspicion. Can't give innocent compliments. Don't often get compliments. Can't get or give hugs. Can't cry. Can't be affectionate with their bros. Can't share with their bros about their lives and feelings honestly.

blugeagua avatar
blugeagua
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men's problems also tie into a lot of the patriarchy and toxic masculinity. A lot of issues men face are others bullying men for "acting like women" if they are seen expressing emotion or sharing their feelings. It all in a ways stems back to usual misogny. But its also plain sexist against men. Are men not allowed to show emotion and be HUMAN?

christelnellemann avatar
Christel Nellemann
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Point on. Women too, are surporting this toxic patriarchial supression too, when some of them also buy into these stereotypes.

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zanoni608 avatar
Patti Vance
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

thank you for posting this. just like women literally had centuries of a pidgeon-hole they were supposed to fit in, men have had them too. it's sad that there have been societal 'norms' to which people were supposed to follow instead of allowing them to be themselves. there has been change, though. fathers are now being seen as just as nurturing as mothers; hence, custody is being given more though not enough. seeking help is being more acceptable for emotional/mental issues. but, just like the issues for women, they need to be made more aware to the public.

johnlouis avatar
John Louis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All of these are true and are a result of patriarchy. My first thought (often wrong) is that men are generally more empowered and have more options to address these issues. Which is more likely a man obtaining success in a traditional feminine field i.e. nurse, elementary school teacher, artist of some sort or a woman in a traditionally masculine field, i.e. welder, construction worker. Yes - No?

phil-lucas avatar
Lucas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My last two trips to hospital my allocated nurses were both men. Doesn't answer your question and it's not statistically valid in any way but it was good to see.

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el_dee avatar
El Dee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What these all seem to amount to is the toxicity for men of the same sexism that damages the lives of women. It's up to those of us who have sons to stop saying things like 'big boys don't cry' and to let them choose the toys they play with and the careers they want to pursue with criticism. I understand that a lot of this is peer pressure but that very peer pressure comes from other parents expectations. We don't think of ourselves as sexist - until we are parenting and PARTICULARLY parenting sons. You can't have one sex being raised sexist without the impact on the other as well. WE are creating this problem - WE have to stop it..

fluffyboobookins avatar
Koolkat
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get that some of these issues are important to talk about, but what makes this Yassmin person, an authority on this subject? Like she says all this stuff and doesn't even provide any sources. I remember researching stuff about PTSD and suicide rates a while ago, and I read that women actually attempt suicide more often then men, but men die more from suicide because they choose more violent methods(like shooting, jumping off bridges, etc.) while women stick to less violent methods(taking pills, etc.) Unfortunately, I don't have the source, so I can't prove that, but frankly Yassmin isn't proving anything either.

christelnellemann avatar
Christel Nellemann
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True, I studied this in medical school, the numbers can be found, women do have , if I rwcall, 3 times as many suicide attemps, and far more diagnosed depression. ( them there is underdiagnosing men because of said mentioned reasons...)

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are no safety nets for men. Countries like Japan literally ignore homeless men and all the funds/ housing go towards women and children

christelnellemann avatar
Christel Nellemann
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not true again. In japan also, there is big gender gaps in pay and positions. Men hold almost all main power and money in japan . And more men also at the extreme bottom yes. In Denmark , we are less unequal, and shelters exist for men etc. But atill majority of rich and powerful are men.

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mens health month gets ignored..there is no marathon for testicular cancer.. no yearly screenings

kathrynfellis avatar
Katchen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about Movember? We’re currently living in the month that you think doesn’t exist.

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patrick_oharris avatar
Patrick O'Harris
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I couldnt care less what people think of me. I go to therapy, I have a very soft and emotional character and some hobbies that are considered female hobbies. You know what people can do that have a problem with that? They can kiss my f*****g ass 'cause it's my life and I enjoy that life the way I want.

gohawks avatar
Go Hawks
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wasn't up to reading this post when it came out cause I was3 feeling too good. But glad it was made & that I read it! Virtual hug to all you guys that need it🤗

mintyminameow avatar
Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Incel talking point material. The best kind of talking points are those that are based in some kind of fact, that they can twist to fit their victim narrative. “Oh no, how do we get out of our self constructed prison! Let’s start by comparing ourselves to women.” K.

minnladyl avatar
iluvanimals
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not being able to cry or share feelings or allowed to be vulnerable. So toxic

elakat124 avatar
Enalpria
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so true! Another example is on Bored Panda itself. If there is a post with a hot guy on it, a woman usually points it out and gets a lot of upvotes. But, if a guy posts a comment calling the girl on a post hot, he will get downvotes and get blasted for misogyny. But, we also cannot forget that both genders have their own ways of inequality.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate that this article has caused so much bickering and aggravation. I wish that the genders could understand each other without having to compare whose struggle is harder. I will never understand what it is like to be a man, but I know that I want a better understanding.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All of these issues are so important and we have to keep talking about them until something is done. Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence or sexual assault. Having mental health issues is not a bad thing no matter what your gender is. We need to stop teaching our boys that if they cry or show any signs of sensitivity that they are weak or gay. They are not weak and if they are gay so what. There is nothing wrong with that. Us women need to do our part to make sure that the emotions and feelings of men are taken as seriously as our emotions. In my opinion, a man who cries is stronger than a woman who doesn't. We need to stop putting stigmas on everything and just help each other and love each other.

haileyhall avatar
Storm Anne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

😠 also Wolfstar, I'm sorry you and your freind had to go through that. If I were you I would give them the bird.. but ya know

leoh avatar
leahhelbig avatar
Leah Helbig
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except for Tara reade, Lucy Flores, any coll, Sofie Karasek,Amy Stokes Lappos, Caitlyn Caruso, DJ Hill, Vail Kohnert-Yount, just to name of few hopefully Leo you were being sarcastic

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men automatically pay more for car insurance, life insurance etc.

leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You failed to mention more men are dying of corona 19..yet there is no special funds set aside to research why..its just accepted men will die because they have st chromosomes

kha_duong_1 avatar
K.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think some part of it can be attributed to overall hygiene and lifestyle. Males are more likely to develop those underlying conditions prior that becomes exacerbated while fighting the covid-19 virus. Regarding biology, there is not even enough data to make a conjecture. They are researching everything. There’s a lot of vested interest in keeping men alive.

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imcrep105 avatar
Crep 105
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you guys even KNOW there was an International Men's Day? Why would you? Society tells us that nothing we've ever done or will do matters.

victorrsytnik avatar
Russian Otaku
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the oppressive style of how woman or men should be men have it harder as women have the easy option of marriage and being the damsel in distress and in usa even being a worthless unhealthy fat sack of s**t is a option since many lazy worthless women love promoting diabetes but are conveniently sexist in that men can't be fat worthless pos they gotta be rich and look good

dandegnan avatar
Danieletc
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not saying threrapists are across-the-board bulls**t, but I don't trust them. I've done it twice, once by choice, once not. Completely useless for me, a waste of time and other people's money. And what incentive do they have to fix what ails you? They would lose a high-paying client. Don't trust them, come what may.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, the child custody thing simply isn't true. When men actually try for custody, they get it slightly more often than women do. The real reason men are less likely to get full or primary custody is because they simply don't try for it.

kha_duong_1 avatar
K.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The child should go where their best interests lie with the understanding that life still happens and plans change, and both parents should make their utmost best efforts to raise the child with love. Divorce does not change that. I think it’s a more recent thing, that mothers are awarded custody more often. Children were seen as oh wonderful cherubic angels but also as assets, sources of labor and carry on the male’s lineage. Threats of never seeing their children again kept some women in marriages. Because...you guessed it. Parental custody was awarded to men because they were seen as providers. I just want children to grow with love. Their parents should take active roles in their upbringing, set aside whatever differences they have. Whoever is a bad parent, should probably know better than seek custody. Loving fathers should not be torn away from their children. I’m just dropping fun facts. https://www.jstor.org/stable/1123459?seq=1

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epicrathat avatar
Elena B
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah thank god, somebody who doesn't say Mens Day is sexist

john_123 avatar
More Thinking Needed
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If a man wrote a post entitled: Man lists things that women uniquely struggle with, there would chaos.

kha_duong_1 avatar
K.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think there are articles like that. Even the well thought out ones with good intentions are lambasted by men. It’s like they’re attacking those males/men for betraying them by shining a light on women’s struggles. I haven’t seen any users (suspected of being female) attack a man for having mental illness in Men’s mental health articles yet. Some give out facts and say that equality can benefit us all and still get harassed. The women/females I know condemn toxicity and negative behaviors regardless of gender. That means they want equality, and will call out and taken action to defend/support a man over a woman if she’s the aggressor.

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Malakai
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Incidentally, a lot of these issues presented here are also part of the reason why America has become so infamous for mass shootings, and why most mass shooters tend to be men. This isn't the sole cause, but tackling many of these things could lead to so much good by stemming violent tendencies all around. If you make people feel valued, respected, and important for who they are instead of trying to cut them all down to fit into narrow molds of what they 'should be', everyone as a society benefits.

kathrynfellis avatar
Katchen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Malakai, good point. The Isla Vista shooter was an incel who wanted to kill women because of the pressures you mention.

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about hiv.. they will pay for your birth control but not my prep

kathrynfellis avatar
Katchen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Birth control does not prevent HIV. Did you mean to type something else?

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about potty parody.. they count urinals as toilets..which is real helpful when you have to shite and there are only 2 stalls. Meanwhile women get like 5 whole toilets

salba151 avatar
Steven Myburgh
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great post. Though I think it is too easy to simply blame it on the patriarchy. I think it is society at large (both men themselves, and women) that have had these expectations of men. Men need to share the emotional care space with women, while women need to share the power space with men.

leoh avatar
si-michelson avatar
Si
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course you know better than the professional judge who heard the evidence.

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Katchen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I missed all of the Bored Panda articles saying “Men Are Pigs” though I’ve been assured by red pill/ MRA posters that feminists say men are pigs. I have not heard the actual feminists confirm this. Guess I’ll just believe the MRAs.

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Storm Anne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know, I know I'm a girl but I agree. There should not be a "man up" thing. They don't say "woman up" to girls!!! Men are not any different and do not deserve to be tough all the time.

laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about being ladylike? That's not ladylike, ladies don't sit like that/talk like that. Pretend to be dumb so he likes you. Again, this post is highlighting that both genders to their own extents are suffering

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Thomasin Grace
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is wonderful. Finally something about men. There are so many groups and charities for women but nothing for men.

blaasdf2 avatar
Hugo Raible
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women are liked for what they are. Men are liked for what they can provide.

laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We are? I thought we were liked for our looks and submissiveness. It's a problem for both genders, that the whole point!

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are men still dieing in large numbers from say heart attacks..wheres the research/ funding to stop men from during in such a fashion

kathrynfellis avatar
Katchen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny you mention heart attacks. Most funding for preventing heart attacks *was* specifically designed for men, to address men’s symptoms. The American Heart Association recognized that most heart attack signs the public has been made aware of disproportionately apply to men. So women who have heart attacks and experience different symptoms may not recognize those symptoms as a heart attack. . . because we’ve been trained to identify heart attack symptoms in men, not women. Here’s more information: https://www.goredforwomen.org/-/media/grfw-images/about-heart-disease/signs-and-symptoms/symptoms_of_heart_attack_in_women_and_men.jpg?la=en

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BlahBlahBlackSheepah
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago

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No mention of covid..that kills men in greater numbers..yet where is the funding, the support, the help for men and their health care.. if this was women or children politicians would be screaming for more funding research,programs

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Leo H, please calm down. The funding an dsupport in the US, at least, isn't there for ANYONE with Covid.

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BorPand8
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

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The patriarchy was created by and for the patriarchs, i.e. the rich, old, generally white men who have almost all the money and power. Poor men of color are probably worse off under it. And young white men aren't necessarily well-off either. Like that polygamy sect in the desert somewhere in the US. All the young women are married off to old men and most of the young men are thrown out into the desert to die. For women, yeah it sucks to be a resource traded like cattle. But other men are competition.

bilje09 avatar
Bepina
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Patriarchy runs way into the past - it is not something white men created - it was created by men in general regardless of the race, and long before people could had such enormous power and money.

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Ben Stubbs
Community Member
3 years ago

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This article goes against what it's trying to highlight. It's written in an aggressive tone and isn't helpful at all x

leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago

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No one is covering male birth control

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, they're not gonna be covering female either in the US, and last I checked, you don't need a prescription for a box of condoms, gents.

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Si
Community Member
3 years ago

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Women are four times more likely than men to try to kill themselves. Having less testosterone, and less freedom they tend to choose domestic methods.

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Lula Gage
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um, Si? You have -1344 upvotes. Maybe that says something about the way you behave. So not to be mean, because I am sure you do have some goodness in your heart, but please either step it up or leave this site. We don't need your ugly comments...

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago

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Why do we need a woman to point out men's struggles

leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago

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Mens clothes are literally no existent in stores..its still assumed women buy men their clothed

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Honu
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's certainly not the case where I live (US). Every department store has a men's section and there are plenty of clothing stores that have men's and women's or men's exclusively.

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Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago

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So toxic we can't have a day to talk about men's problems..without women jumping in and bashing us

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Si
Community Member
3 years ago

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If fathers want to be a child’s primary carer after divorce, then they should think about being its primary carer before divorce. Custody isn’t awarded for the benefit of adults.

leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg si..your actually blaming dad's and think it's their behavior that makes men lose or share custody of their kids? The courts are anti dad

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Lili
Community Member
3 years ago

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Not that I want to invalidate her points, but most men's pressure comes from within the men's world themselves, how they think and expect themselves to be. They are tying their own hands down instead of trying to deliberate themselves like women are trying to do. Instead, a majority of women hates toxic masculinity and prefers kind, compasionate, caring men and we don't mind our men showing fragility from time to time.

ian_smith avatar
Ian Smith
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey @lili, what if I told you that women's body image issues come from the women's world? Bet you'd say I was exhibiting toxic masculinity.

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Si
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

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Who says men go to therapy less than women? And who says it’s because they’re afraid of being seen as weak? She just totally made that up. If men go to therapy less than women it’s more likely because they think it’s a load of rubbish and they know best.

abelbocker avatar
Thunder
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a man, I can say she didn’t make it up. Think before you speak.

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StrawberryParfait
Community Member
3 years ago

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Wow, I hope she gets picked! She's completely out of touch with being a woman if she thinks men are the only ones who suffer from these things. Has she not heard of the impossible beauty standards women are supposed to maintain in order to be treated as human? And since when is the sexual violence done to us ever taken seriously by society? Last I checked, a woman who charges rape against a man is still regarded with suspicion, despite the fact that the number of false accusations run no higher than false accusations for any other type of crime. I guess she also hasn't heard of male entitlement, and how society caters to it. Funny how the ugliest, laziest guy thinks he's owed a perfectly beautiful woman, but an ugly woman would never assume she is owed a handsome man. It's a man's world. If she wants pats on the head for being a good little handmaiden, she's in for a surprise when she realizes she will be treated like all women are. Girl, have all the seats and sit your ass down.

mrsmith2 avatar
Marquita
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bro what? She was just shedding light on the problems men face, she even stated that she wasn't trying to undermine women's issues. While men are more advantaged, that doesn't mean they don't have any problems. Yesterday was their day, let them have it for crapsake.

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Natalie Bohrteller
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so important.... For real equality, we need to talk about ALL problems. Having seen so many boys and men that struggle, I'm glad they're getting a voice here too.

rosselairaeugeniecruz avatar
Wolfstar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Amelia Janavičius isn't BP staff. She's racist and apparently doesn't care about people's traumatic experiences. Her profile picture is fake, too. I found it online. Screenshot...78-png.jpg Screenshot-2020-11-20-at-51434-PM-Display-1-5fb8411bad878-png.jpg

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rosselairaeugeniecruz avatar
Wolfstar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so fricking important. Men are humans too. They have hearts and minds. The one about mental health and the arts was a big one for me. My friend Rowan had PTSD and depression. He had PTSD when he saw his mother die. Depression was the result of being attacked for being gay. They hurled insults at him and insulted his dead mother. He was supposed to go to therapy, but didn't want to because "I'm already weak enough." Rowan played the violin, so we hung out in the orchestra room to practice together. Every single day, we'd do that, and then we'd have to leave five minutes later because people were calling him the f word and telling him he should kill himself. What they didn't know was that he already tried to. Rowan's much better now, thankfully. He got out of depression and is now majoring in music with me. Basically, men are humans too. They have feelings, they're not sex-crazed shells of men like many people seem to believe.

rosselairaeugeniecruz avatar
Wolfstar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Amelija Janavičius, this is precisely why I posted. Rowan is a man that was called many slurs, including the F word. Slurs are not okay. And you're not part of the BoredPanda staff like you claimed in previous comments. Your profile picture isn't even yours. Screenshot...c5-png.jpg Screenshot-2020-11-20-at-51434-PM-Display-1-5fb84019a28c5-png.jpg

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drummerkramer avatar
Bob Belcher
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A decent start to an important conversation. Also realise that men's mental health and growing to be bigger than what society states would help with women's issues as well. We are a team and we should raise each other up at the same time. For the poster that stated this is our own fault for establishing the patriarchy, I don't recall ever having a choice or being a king myself so stop victim blaming men.

kha_duong_1 avatar
K.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s too early for me to think. I’ll come back after my morning exercise. I think quite a bit of us would benefit from having engaging conversations about substantial topics, but we don’t always do because life happens. This subject matter is very heavy and requires many of us to work together to resolve. It’ll be tireless work, with pushback from all sides about the best course of action. The most important is that we come to the table, ready to listen and with empathy. I think all genders are capable of upholding a harmful institution whether they realize it or not. So it’s not your side did this or that, it’s what harm was done and what can we do now. People’s mental health and well being are being recognized more than ever, and it’s sad that it takes a pandemic for us to empathize with each other but here we are. Our state of being affects those around us, so let’s raise each other up as a team (Bob Belcher). I will, of course, continue putting trolls in their place.

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Nia Loves Art
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is an important conversation and most of these are true. The one thing that is factually wrong is the one about PTSD, which women are actually more than twice as likely to have, due mostly to higher rates of sexual assault and domestic violence. Those things definitely happen to men and should be taken more seriously, but to claim it is more common is inaccurate. https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/common/common_women.asp

victoriakellogg77 avatar
Victoria Lenny
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish people could understand that feminism seeks to help men too. The downfall of the patriarchy would liberate all genders, not just cis white women. <3

emilyduffin avatar
Emilingo (strawberry seeds)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My cousin is a guy. I know he suffered with Anorexia. Though it's less common in men, it does happen.

laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My flatmate was suffering from bulimia, I called a helpline to see what I could do and what not to do in order to try and help him: the help centre was flabbergasted I was talking about a male. Very frustrating that they aren't given the same resources

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ellajensen-kane avatar
PANDAS
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

we need to normalize men being emotional, feminine, and vulnerable. we need to normalize women being strong, independent, and smart. and we need to normalize Non-binary folk..existing. im probably gonna delete this.

meyowmix avatar
Colin L
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men have been handed a toxic and awful toolkit. Myths about machismo have caused me more grief in my life than I can express... and I know I'm not alone. (And the pass along affects to women and children are horrid).

delphinum4 avatar
Zophra
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let the downvotes begin. I hear this. I agree... but I still think women have it way worse because it comes down to to how others treat her which is harder to control such as being passed over for promotions, being attacked raped far more often then men, not to mention how they are treated in many other countries. Men (in many of these cases) have a problem in how they treat themselves/view themselves/express themselves. It easier to identify/get help for a a problem of your own making than one that someone creates for you that you can't easily fight against. We can still improve on both, but I think women have a much further way to go.

truthmonster00 avatar
Truth Monster
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am surprised that these issues are beginning to be talked about. For so long men's issues were laughed off and disregarded out of hand. It's good to see the conversation regarding men's issues finally starting in the main stream

wendillon avatar
Wendillon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sad thing is it's often men laughing off and disregarding the issues of other men too. It'll be a fine day when everyone can just let go and be themselves without having to worry about stigma.

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leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about we jsut eliminate double standards? Just be *people* and not worry so da*n much about what gender is which thing or not? We all feel pressure to do/be/etc., and that's without the gender-specific crap added on! Does it have to be a competition which gender suffers more about which issue/etc., or can we agree we all feel like life is kicking us sometimes, and be *kind* to each other about it? Yes, it's difficult to be kind when hurting. Here's the thing... It's difficult to hurt, too, and feel alone. Ashamed. Weak. So... Let's go with kindness, please.

leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No mention of boys failing behind in school, boys less likely to graduate hs. Girls on the other hand populate more than 50 percent of us colleges and are more likely to graduate. Yet no extra funds to help boys, no affirm action or quotas

iapetosdertitan avatar
Iapetos
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the whole school system is f****d and unnatural, and the frontal learning does harm boys more. Girls usually kind of cope with it. But it would be so much better if learning was a more creative and proactive experience.

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james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS. These are some of the reasons as to why I am a humanist and not a feminist. The biggest problem is that MANY times when people talk about men’s rights, we are considered misogynists. Even though we also talk about others rights also. We need to talk more about men’s rights because with the womens rights movement gaining power (deservedly so), men are losing their rights and being ignored/forgotten.

ellajensen-kane avatar
PANDAS
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i get what you mean, but you know a feminist wants men and women to be equal right?

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zoepolitte24 avatar
OrangeChicken
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I may not resignate with this post as much as other guys because I grew up as a little girl (I'm just now starting my transition), But I do feel some of these. I have been taught that a "real" man always hides what he is feeling. If he doesn't, he is weak. I have been taught that a "real" man likes sports, and to work out, and loves chicks and is always thinking about girls. None of this is true, and I am living proof of that (I hate sports, I am lazy af and I be thinking about both girls and guys if ya know what I mean *awkward wink*. Plz help me I'm still single). Growing up in this world I have always had to deal with girls problems. Now a guys problems too? *sigh*. ALSO I had no idea that people liked to fetishize trans-guys as much as they do, but that's a whole other thing that I don't need to talk about. This comment was so awkward, please help me.

rosselairaeugeniecruz avatar
Wolfstar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, no problem with being awkward. Congrats on starting your transition. A real man is someone who is himself and cares for the people around him. BTW, haha, awkward wink. I can relate. For the part about you being single, be patient. Love always finds a way to make it into someone's life, you just have to look closely and embrace it. And yes, for some reason, people fetishize trans guys. I have a trans friend who'll murder anyone who fetishize him, so I guess it's not okay? I mean, fetishizing someone's gender looks pretty dumb to me. Lots of love <3, Lily

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kpalp232 avatar
BlahBlahBlackSheepah
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is why we need feminism - it's not just for women. here's a call to action - white dudes, you have more power to change this than anyone else on the planet - so do it

rosselairaeugeniecruz avatar
Wolfstar
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. And if we want men to help us empower women, we need to take care of them too. Men have emotions too. Feminism is not about making women more powerful than men, it's about making them equal. Also, I don't know what douchebag downvoted you, but they must not care about problems that men and women face.

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You forgot to add men get more jail time then women for the same crime, a male around a child is seen as a molester, a male is automatically seen as a potential mugger/ rapist, men are still dying younger then women, where are the men's hospitals

gayle_bynum_cardosa avatar
GC
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leo I do not immediately see danger when I see a man walking in my direction. I think nothing of it. I also don’t think anything of a man around a child. I think you’re wrong on this; I believe most people are like me and see nothing. If he LOOKS suspicious in some way then I might think twice but I would think the same of a woman (or even a younger child of either sex for that matter).

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twilight_mist avatar
Astrid Nineor
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How many of these assumptions are made by both sexes and how many are made by the men themselves? I never assumed men couldn't be mentally ill, struggle, be sad, show emotion etc etc, and I certainly wouldn't think any differently of a man with than a woman, so who makes them feel they cannot talk about it?

sasyscarborough avatar
Sasy
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Years ago in Ireland they were trying to compensate victims of child abuse, cruelty etc by orphanages of the earlier decades of the last century to the 60s. They struggled to compensate Men because even though they had names they could not get the now senior aged Men to come forward, to admit what was done to them as children. Even family members that knew could not convince them to admit to it, and many Men and Women would not come forward to go against the Church at all. It was horrible, but while some victims could get counselling etc, it was still mostly only women that came forward.

miriamemendelson avatar
Mimi M
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not able to be around children without being viewed with suspicion. Can't give innocent compliments. Don't often get compliments. Can't get or give hugs. Can't cry. Can't be affectionate with their bros. Can't share with their bros about their lives and feelings honestly.

blugeagua avatar
blugeagua
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men's problems also tie into a lot of the patriarchy and toxic masculinity. A lot of issues men face are others bullying men for "acting like women" if they are seen expressing emotion or sharing their feelings. It all in a ways stems back to usual misogny. But its also plain sexist against men. Are men not allowed to show emotion and be HUMAN?

christelnellemann avatar
Christel Nellemann
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Point on. Women too, are surporting this toxic patriarchial supression too, when some of them also buy into these stereotypes.

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zanoni608 avatar
Patti Vance
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

thank you for posting this. just like women literally had centuries of a pidgeon-hole they were supposed to fit in, men have had them too. it's sad that there have been societal 'norms' to which people were supposed to follow instead of allowing them to be themselves. there has been change, though. fathers are now being seen as just as nurturing as mothers; hence, custody is being given more though not enough. seeking help is being more acceptable for emotional/mental issues. but, just like the issues for women, they need to be made more aware to the public.

johnlouis avatar
John Louis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All of these are true and are a result of patriarchy. My first thought (often wrong) is that men are generally more empowered and have more options to address these issues. Which is more likely a man obtaining success in a traditional feminine field i.e. nurse, elementary school teacher, artist of some sort or a woman in a traditionally masculine field, i.e. welder, construction worker. Yes - No?

phil-lucas avatar
Lucas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My last two trips to hospital my allocated nurses were both men. Doesn't answer your question and it's not statistically valid in any way but it was good to see.

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el_dee avatar
El Dee
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What these all seem to amount to is the toxicity for men of the same sexism that damages the lives of women. It's up to those of us who have sons to stop saying things like 'big boys don't cry' and to let them choose the toys they play with and the careers they want to pursue with criticism. I understand that a lot of this is peer pressure but that very peer pressure comes from other parents expectations. We don't think of ourselves as sexist - until we are parenting and PARTICULARLY parenting sons. You can't have one sex being raised sexist without the impact on the other as well. WE are creating this problem - WE have to stop it..

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Koolkat
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get that some of these issues are important to talk about, but what makes this Yassmin person, an authority on this subject? Like she says all this stuff and doesn't even provide any sources. I remember researching stuff about PTSD and suicide rates a while ago, and I read that women actually attempt suicide more often then men, but men die more from suicide because they choose more violent methods(like shooting, jumping off bridges, etc.) while women stick to less violent methods(taking pills, etc.) Unfortunately, I don't have the source, so I can't prove that, but frankly Yassmin isn't proving anything either.

christelnellemann avatar
Christel Nellemann
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True, I studied this in medical school, the numbers can be found, women do have , if I rwcall, 3 times as many suicide attemps, and far more diagnosed depression. ( them there is underdiagnosing men because of said mentioned reasons...)

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are no safety nets for men. Countries like Japan literally ignore homeless men and all the funds/ housing go towards women and children

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Christel Nellemann
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not true again. In japan also, there is big gender gaps in pay and positions. Men hold almost all main power and money in japan . And more men also at the extreme bottom yes. In Denmark , we are less unequal, and shelters exist for men etc. But atill majority of rich and powerful are men.

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mens health month gets ignored..there is no marathon for testicular cancer.. no yearly screenings

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Katchen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about Movember? We’re currently living in the month that you think doesn’t exist.

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Patrick O'Harris
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I couldnt care less what people think of me. I go to therapy, I have a very soft and emotional character and some hobbies that are considered female hobbies. You know what people can do that have a problem with that? They can kiss my f*****g ass 'cause it's my life and I enjoy that life the way I want.

gohawks avatar
Go Hawks
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wasn't up to reading this post when it came out cause I was3 feeling too good. But glad it was made & that I read it! Virtual hug to all you guys that need it🤗

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Incel talking point material. The best kind of talking points are those that are based in some kind of fact, that they can twist to fit their victim narrative. “Oh no, how do we get out of our self constructed prison! Let’s start by comparing ourselves to women.” K.

minnladyl avatar
iluvanimals
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not being able to cry or share feelings or allowed to be vulnerable. So toxic

elakat124 avatar
Enalpria
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so true! Another example is on Bored Panda itself. If there is a post with a hot guy on it, a woman usually points it out and gets a lot of upvotes. But, if a guy posts a comment calling the girl on a post hot, he will get downvotes and get blasted for misogyny. But, we also cannot forget that both genders have their own ways of inequality.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate that this article has caused so much bickering and aggravation. I wish that the genders could understand each other without having to compare whose struggle is harder. I will never understand what it is like to be a man, but I know that I want a better understanding.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All of these issues are so important and we have to keep talking about them until something is done. Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence or sexual assault. Having mental health issues is not a bad thing no matter what your gender is. We need to stop teaching our boys that if they cry or show any signs of sensitivity that they are weak or gay. They are not weak and if they are gay so what. There is nothing wrong with that. Us women need to do our part to make sure that the emotions and feelings of men are taken as seriously as our emotions. In my opinion, a man who cries is stronger than a woman who doesn't. We need to stop putting stigmas on everything and just help each other and love each other.

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Storm Anne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

😠 also Wolfstar, I'm sorry you and your freind had to go through that. If I were you I would give them the bird.. but ya know

leoh avatar
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Leah Helbig
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except for Tara reade, Lucy Flores, any coll, Sofie Karasek,Amy Stokes Lappos, Caitlyn Caruso, DJ Hill, Vail Kohnert-Yount, just to name of few hopefully Leo you were being sarcastic

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men automatically pay more for car insurance, life insurance etc.

leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You failed to mention more men are dying of corona 19..yet there is no special funds set aside to research why..its just accepted men will die because they have st chromosomes

kha_duong_1 avatar
K.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think some part of it can be attributed to overall hygiene and lifestyle. Males are more likely to develop those underlying conditions prior that becomes exacerbated while fighting the covid-19 virus. Regarding biology, there is not even enough data to make a conjecture. They are researching everything. There’s a lot of vested interest in keeping men alive.

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Crep 105
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you guys even KNOW there was an International Men's Day? Why would you? Society tells us that nothing we've ever done or will do matters.

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Russian Otaku
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the oppressive style of how woman or men should be men have it harder as women have the easy option of marriage and being the damsel in distress and in usa even being a worthless unhealthy fat sack of s**t is a option since many lazy worthless women love promoting diabetes but are conveniently sexist in that men can't be fat worthless pos they gotta be rich and look good

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Danieletc
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not saying threrapists are across-the-board bulls**t, but I don't trust them. I've done it twice, once by choice, once not. Completely useless for me, a waste of time and other people's money. And what incentive do they have to fix what ails you? They would lose a high-paying client. Don't trust them, come what may.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, the child custody thing simply isn't true. When men actually try for custody, they get it slightly more often than women do. The real reason men are less likely to get full or primary custody is because they simply don't try for it.

kha_duong_1 avatar
K.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The child should go where their best interests lie with the understanding that life still happens and plans change, and both parents should make their utmost best efforts to raise the child with love. Divorce does not change that. I think it’s a more recent thing, that mothers are awarded custody more often. Children were seen as oh wonderful cherubic angels but also as assets, sources of labor and carry on the male’s lineage. Threats of never seeing their children again kept some women in marriages. Because...you guessed it. Parental custody was awarded to men because they were seen as providers. I just want children to grow with love. Their parents should take active roles in their upbringing, set aside whatever differences they have. Whoever is a bad parent, should probably know better than seek custody. Loving fathers should not be torn away from their children. I’m just dropping fun facts. https://www.jstor.org/stable/1123459?seq=1

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Elena B
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah thank god, somebody who doesn't say Mens Day is sexist

john_123 avatar
More Thinking Needed
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If a man wrote a post entitled: Man lists things that women uniquely struggle with, there would chaos.

kha_duong_1 avatar
K.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think there are articles like that. Even the well thought out ones with good intentions are lambasted by men. It’s like they’re attacking those males/men for betraying them by shining a light on women’s struggles. I haven’t seen any users (suspected of being female) attack a man for having mental illness in Men’s mental health articles yet. Some give out facts and say that equality can benefit us all and still get harassed. The women/females I know condemn toxicity and negative behaviors regardless of gender. That means they want equality, and will call out and taken action to defend/support a man over a woman if she’s the aggressor.

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Malakai
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Incidentally, a lot of these issues presented here are also part of the reason why America has become so infamous for mass shootings, and why most mass shooters tend to be men. This isn't the sole cause, but tackling many of these things could lead to so much good by stemming violent tendencies all around. If you make people feel valued, respected, and important for who they are instead of trying to cut them all down to fit into narrow molds of what they 'should be', everyone as a society benefits.

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Katchen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Malakai, good point. The Isla Vista shooter was an incel who wanted to kill women because of the pressures you mention.

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about hiv.. they will pay for your birth control but not my prep

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Katchen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Birth control does not prevent HIV. Did you mean to type something else?

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about potty parody.. they count urinals as toilets..which is real helpful when you have to shite and there are only 2 stalls. Meanwhile women get like 5 whole toilets

salba151 avatar
Steven Myburgh
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great post. Though I think it is too easy to simply blame it on the patriarchy. I think it is society at large (both men themselves, and women) that have had these expectations of men. Men need to share the emotional care space with women, while women need to share the power space with men.

leoh avatar
si-michelson avatar
Si
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course you know better than the professional judge who heard the evidence.

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Katchen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I missed all of the Bored Panda articles saying “Men Are Pigs” though I’ve been assured by red pill/ MRA posters that feminists say men are pigs. I have not heard the actual feminists confirm this. Guess I’ll just believe the MRAs.

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Storm Anne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know, I know I'm a girl but I agree. There should not be a "man up" thing. They don't say "woman up" to girls!!! Men are not any different and do not deserve to be tough all the time.

laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about being ladylike? That's not ladylike, ladies don't sit like that/talk like that. Pretend to be dumb so he likes you. Again, this post is highlighting that both genders to their own extents are suffering

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Thomasin Grace
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is wonderful. Finally something about men. There are so many groups and charities for women but nothing for men.

blaasdf2 avatar
Hugo Raible
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women are liked for what they are. Men are liked for what they can provide.

laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We are? I thought we were liked for our looks and submissiveness. It's a problem for both genders, that the whole point!

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leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are men still dieing in large numbers from say heart attacks..wheres the research/ funding to stop men from during in such a fashion

kathrynfellis avatar
Katchen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny you mention heart attacks. Most funding for preventing heart attacks *was* specifically designed for men, to address men’s symptoms. The American Heart Association recognized that most heart attack signs the public has been made aware of disproportionately apply to men. So women who have heart attacks and experience different symptoms may not recognize those symptoms as a heart attack. . . because we’ve been trained to identify heart attack symptoms in men, not women. Here’s more information: https://www.goredforwomen.org/-/media/grfw-images/about-heart-disease/signs-and-symptoms/symptoms_of_heart_attack_in_women_and_men.jpg?la=en

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BlahBlahBlackSheepah
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago

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No mention of covid..that kills men in greater numbers..yet where is the funding, the support, the help for men and their health care.. if this was women or children politicians would be screaming for more funding research,programs

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Leo H, please calm down. The funding an dsupport in the US, at least, isn't there for ANYONE with Covid.

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BorPand8
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

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The patriarchy was created by and for the patriarchs, i.e. the rich, old, generally white men who have almost all the money and power. Poor men of color are probably worse off under it. And young white men aren't necessarily well-off either. Like that polygamy sect in the desert somewhere in the US. All the young women are married off to old men and most of the young men are thrown out into the desert to die. For women, yeah it sucks to be a resource traded like cattle. But other men are competition.

bilje09 avatar
Bepina
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Patriarchy runs way into the past - it is not something white men created - it was created by men in general regardless of the race, and long before people could had such enormous power and money.

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Ben Stubbs
Community Member
3 years ago

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This article goes against what it's trying to highlight. It's written in an aggressive tone and isn't helpful at all x

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Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago

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No one is covering male birth control

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, they're not gonna be covering female either in the US, and last I checked, you don't need a prescription for a box of condoms, gents.

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Si
Community Member
3 years ago

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Women are four times more likely than men to try to kill themselves. Having less testosterone, and less freedom they tend to choose domestic methods.

lulagage avatar
Lula Gage
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um, Si? You have -1344 upvotes. Maybe that says something about the way you behave. So not to be mean, because I am sure you do have some goodness in your heart, but please either step it up or leave this site. We don't need your ugly comments...

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Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago

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Why do we need a woman to point out men's struggles

leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago

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Mens clothes are literally no existent in stores..its still assumed women buy men their clothed

alisa-fender avatar
Honu
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's certainly not the case where I live (US). Every department store has a men's section and there are plenty of clothing stores that have men's and women's or men's exclusively.

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Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago

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So toxic we can't have a day to talk about men's problems..without women jumping in and bashing us

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Si
Community Member
3 years ago

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If fathers want to be a child’s primary carer after divorce, then they should think about being its primary carer before divorce. Custody isn’t awarded for the benefit of adults.

leoh avatar
Leo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg si..your actually blaming dad's and think it's their behavior that makes men lose or share custody of their kids? The courts are anti dad

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Lili
Community Member
3 years ago

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Not that I want to invalidate her points, but most men's pressure comes from within the men's world themselves, how they think and expect themselves to be. They are tying their own hands down instead of trying to deliberate themselves like women are trying to do. Instead, a majority of women hates toxic masculinity and prefers kind, compasionate, caring men and we don't mind our men showing fragility from time to time.

ian_smith avatar
Ian Smith
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey @lili, what if I told you that women's body image issues come from the women's world? Bet you'd say I was exhibiting toxic masculinity.

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Si
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

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Who says men go to therapy less than women? And who says it’s because they’re afraid of being seen as weak? She just totally made that up. If men go to therapy less than women it’s more likely because they think it’s a load of rubbish and they know best.

abelbocker avatar
Thunder
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a man, I can say she didn’t make it up. Think before you speak.

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StrawberryParfait
Community Member
3 years ago

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Wow, I hope she gets picked! She's completely out of touch with being a woman if she thinks men are the only ones who suffer from these things. Has she not heard of the impossible beauty standards women are supposed to maintain in order to be treated as human? And since when is the sexual violence done to us ever taken seriously by society? Last I checked, a woman who charges rape against a man is still regarded with suspicion, despite the fact that the number of false accusations run no higher than false accusations for any other type of crime. I guess she also hasn't heard of male entitlement, and how society caters to it. Funny how the ugliest, laziest guy thinks he's owed a perfectly beautiful woman, but an ugly woman would never assume she is owed a handsome man. It's a man's world. If she wants pats on the head for being a good little handmaiden, she's in for a surprise when she realizes she will be treated like all women are. Girl, have all the seats and sit your ass down.

mrsmith2 avatar
Marquita
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bro what? She was just shedding light on the problems men face, she even stated that she wasn't trying to undermine women's issues. While men are more advantaged, that doesn't mean they don't have any problems. Yesterday was their day, let them have it for crapsake.

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