In one of her pieces for The Guardian, writer Gaby Hinsliff argues that it's time for people to stop rolling their eyes whenever they hear someone say "modern male struggle".
To get a better understanding of what it entails, let's take a look at a Reddit thread that asked the platform's men what they want to stop being judged for.
From their physical features to how they behave in public, continue scrolling to check out some of their top-voted replies.
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Being short. Literally no one has control over their height. Judge people for the things they *can* control.
Literally I’ve never understood why people (especially men) get judged for being short
Drinking cocktails instead of beer. Or “girly drinks”. It’s my money dammit and I’m gonna drink something that tastes good
Interacting with kids. Especially younger kids, the majority of men arnt pedophiles.
I sometimes get funny looks when I'm at the park with my own kid. Majority of men are not pedophiles and woman can also be them... So yeah.
Seeking support with mental health. I grew up in an environment where this wasn’t ok, but in adulthood I very much needed help working through things and didn’t have the tools or understanding to do it alone.
complimenting another man.
This is so true! Men should be treated the same respect as talking to a someone of the same gender as a woman does!
Having hobbies people define as effeminate.
Such as baking, gardening, textiles, stuff like that.
Elaborating, I love gardening myself, I have a growing garden myself and it has helped immensely with anger issues I used to have, and I’ve had guests over who always assume it’s a product of my wife’s work, which is why I mentioned it.
All of which are jobs that men do, some quite famously so. Really silly to think it is effeminate when it's a hobby.
Taking their full paternity leave as permitted by their employer.
Pffft, I took it all, then took my holidays right after it. Wasn't just my wife who made the baby.
Not being in the mood for sex. Women (or men) can take it so personally. Sometimes we're too exhausted.
Most of me is always ready for sex. But the body, unfortunately, is not a democracy.
Taking long showers. I wish that I was able to take a long shower without everybody in the household thinking I'm having a wank.
I just want to enjoy hot water, it's relaxing.
That's what a wanker would say :)))))) Joke aside, don't waste water for taking 30 minutes showers.
Stoicism. I get it's the modern era and people wanna be open about their feelings and be free to cry. But it cuts both ways. If a man wants to keep their emotions private and in check, he shouldn't be judged as being regressive or cold.
Everyone is different and experiences emotions in unique ways. We should all be able to express that how we see fit as long as we are not hurting or hindering others or ourselves. No two people experience emotions the same way. So who can say what is right and what is wrong.
not peeing standing up. sitting is so much more comfortable
Being shy
For not having a house, not having a car, or not being financially stable. I'm doing what I can, ok?
Getting physically taken care of, for instance massage, spa that kind of thing. Why should women be the only ones to get that stuff? Massages are the best thing.... especially if you do lots of heavy lifting, sports, you know "man" stuff
Expressing ourselves.
My wife is pregnant and has a full time job, since she’s been pregnant I’ve taken on doing 100% of the cooking, cleaning, errands, groceries, rubbing her feet, taking care of her (When she gets home from work, I put on her favorite show and have her relax the rest of the day, I refuse to have her do any work) etc. This is additional to me already working my job where I pay all our bills, do yard work, vehicle maintenance, etc. I work from the time I get up to the moment we go to bed.
I love my wife very much and want this time for her to be as easy as possible because I know she’s having it tough. She knows that I’ve been busting my a*s lately, but anyone on the outside think men do nothing during this time. Conversations with other people usually go in the way of berating me (Or men in the relationship) by insinuating that I need to step it up more, I’m not doing enough, and if I dare bring up the fact that I’m overwhelmed I’m seen as weak and unfit to be her husband.
I get it though, there are some really s****y guys out there and they’re taking their frustration out on me, but for those of us who are actually putting forth an effort, it’s demoralizing. This type of behavior is why a lot of men simply say nothing because we’d rather not say anything for 15 minutes than deal with hours of drama.
Parenting kids, Working in primary education and being babysitters. People just automatically assume that when a man is doing these things that he’s a pedophile and not to be trusted. But women are never suspect? It doesn’t make sense. If you are concerned with protecting your kids from unsavory individuals, do a background check.
I'm a father of 3 - all past the kindergarten era. Some of the very best, and most popular pedagogues was the men - they had an awesome take on the kids, played with them very different than the female pedagogues, and was loved by the children. However they were forced to work under crazy conditions, could never be alone with a child, not change a diaper. I sadden me that the law suspected them, so they had special rules... They were the best!
Existing.
I'm not a rapist because I'm out at night. I'm not a predator because I have a child in my company. I'm not dangerous because you're defenseless. I'm not a creep because you can't tell why I'm there. I'm not an incel because you don't have empathy for men.
Getting a sports car or new clothes or s**t. I couldn't afford the cars I wanted when I was younger. It's not some phase or a mid-life crisis. Stop labeling men as immature for enjoying things they couldn't when they were younger. Maturity is not defined by one's hobbies or interests. And I just like the car.
Taking the sudden wide step to free our balls from sticking to our thigh
I've unironically worn certain sex toys under my clothes because they prevent this. I swear someone should invent a bra for balls
Having trust issues with women. We are suppose to accept women have trust issues with men, but guys are taken less seriously even when they have solid reasons.
Women have been awful to my hubby in the past, cheating on him, being violent towards him etc. I admire him for not becoming bitter, though he'd have every reason to. We talk things through so there are no trust issues, luckily I understand myself enough to explain why I sometimes act the way I do. Boys and men have often treated me like I'm less than and I'd say I'm more bitter at times than he is.
Being close to their parents. Just because a man is close to his parents/ mother doesn’t mean he’s a “mamas boy.”
And nobody ever considers that maybe their parents need support and not the other way around
Bringing up something that bothers them about their partner, from the major to minor issues.
Honestly, having to deal with the 2 hour long fallout about how said issues make YOUR PARTNER FEEL after they hear it, makes it not worth it. So that s**t gets bottled up.
“Patriarchy” or being a sucessfull white man even though I was born in poverty..
It’s not my fault the world was how it was before I was born.. I don’t belittle women or think they are lesser..
True - you don't have to be judged for something what was created before your time. But you have the responsibility to change things now. Just not to think that women are lesser is unfortunately not enough for a change. Work actively against patriarchic structures whereever you can!
Being happy. Idc if we're wearing PPE and everyone on this jobsite is a depressed alcoholic, I'm gonna whistle once in a while and wear my SpongeBob socks.
My husband has an insulated Hello, Kitty lunch bag that he carries proudly. I worked a corporate job that I loved. I was the VP/Operations assistant and for Christmas one year he gave me a hot pink lunch box (with thermos!) with Mickey & Minnie Mouse at a 50's style diner with a card that said "remember not to take yourself too seriously". Loved that guy.
Not being comfortable around kids. It doesn't mean they can't handle kids or don't like kids. Most likely, it just means they're new to it.
Complimenting women. I was walking past this lady with brilliant bright pink hair and said "I love your hair". She looked at me like I was insane... :(
It's either flattering or creepy - depending on how the guy looks. Being judgy based on appearance is something both genders do. (In reference to the red flag "How a man treats ugly women")
I’m a woman but Id like to share based on what I’ve seen other women judge men on that they genuinely should not be. There’s more but these are the most immediate thoughts.
-liking to spend time with their SO. It’s amazing how many women think it’s weird their man actually wants to spend a lot of time with them
-wanting to/hanging with the boys
-liking/playing video games
-liking/playing with toys
-taking care of themselves (grooming, self care)
-not being handymen
-crying, being vulnerable
-seeking or needing help with mental health issues
-not wanting kids
-not being financially stable or secure or just generally not having their career life together by a certain age
-still living with parents in late 20’s+
so for me, I do find it weird that my SO wants to spend time with me. I think for me that comes from bad past relationships, aka my SO not caring about me and then not wanting to spend time with me. Honestly I think my SO is also codependent now so I think I attract the wrong people haha
Note: this post originally had 54 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Some people will have a knee-jerk reaction to some of these. But it's important to think about them, and why they were said, and why they are upvoted. And try to see the "other side".
Right? The comments on some of these prove their point!
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Things we find annoying because of our gender: the disproportionate volume of BP posts bashing men and encouraging women to share all the ghastly, traumatic and cringeworthy experiences they've had with this awful branch of humanity. Because apparently women can do no wrong.
Finally!!!! Something that is not bashing men. Some of the people in the comments sections have only one perspective, their own. They were unable to see things from a man’s perspective.
When we say we were thinking about nothing, we're telling the truth. There was a glorious moment of complete silence inside our head. It was a beautiful, quiet pocket of total bliss, and you ended it by asking, "What are you thinking about?"
Having (lots) of women friends. If a heterosexual man has a lot of female friends he hangs out with, it’s assumed he’s a playboy, and if he’s in a relationship then people think there’s something suspicious going on. It is completely possible for men to have platonic friendships with women and enjoy spending time with them without having ulterior motives for it.
Here's a big one left off the list: Being single & having a pet cat. It doesn't mean we're wimpy dweebs or gay. Maybe we just prefer them over dogs & actually know how to treat them. Even if we were wimpy dweebs or gay though, that shouldn't be judged either!
So are you arguing for or against people being judged as a cohort?
Load More Replies...
Some people will have a knee-jerk reaction to some of these. But it's important to think about them, and why they were said, and why they are upvoted. And try to see the "other side".
Right? The comments on some of these prove their point!
Load More Replies... Things we find annoying because of our gender: the disproportionate volume of BP posts bashing men and encouraging women to share all the ghastly, traumatic and cringeworthy experiences they've had with this awful branch of humanity. Because apparently women can do no wrong.
Finally!!!! Something that is not bashing men. Some of the people in the comments sections have only one perspective, their own. They were unable to see things from a man’s perspective.
When we say we were thinking about nothing, we're telling the truth. There was a glorious moment of complete silence inside our head. It was a beautiful, quiet pocket of total bliss, and you ended it by asking, "What are you thinking about?"
Having (lots) of women friends. If a heterosexual man has a lot of female friends he hangs out with, it’s assumed he’s a playboy, and if he’s in a relationship then people think there’s something suspicious going on. It is completely possible for men to have platonic friendships with women and enjoy spending time with them without having ulterior motives for it.
Here's a big one left off the list: Being single & having a pet cat. It doesn't mean we're wimpy dweebs or gay. Maybe we just prefer them over dogs & actually know how to treat them. Even if we were wimpy dweebs or gay though, that shouldn't be judged either!
So are you arguing for or against people being judged as a cohort?
Load More Replies... 
