35 People Share What Things Keep Making Them Feel Nervous, No Matter How Many Times They’ve Done It
In 2018, Twitter user M. Molly Backes used the term "an impossible task" to describe how it feels when a seemingly mundane thing becomes overwhelming, no matter how simple it should theoretically be.
3 days ago, Redditor u/WinstonChurchillin decided to revisit this idea with a new spin. In a post on r/AskReddit, they asked, "What makes you nervous no matter how many times you do it?" And it went viral. Turns out, impossible tasks are pretty universal!
From walking behind a woman on a quiet street to going on job interviews, here are some of the most popular answers.
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When my boss goes 'can we just have a quick chat?'
Dr. Tamar Chansky, who is a licensed psychologist and the Founder of the Children's and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA, told Bored Panda that anxiety is a universal human experience. "We all have the capacity to feel fear, stress, and anxiety, and we all do," Dr. Chansky said.
But the source of these emotions can vary from person to person. "Individual differences come up with our thresholds for anxiety and also for the content of anxiety. A person stresses about interpersonal relationships but may have no fear about rock climbing or bungee jumping. Another may have no trouble swimming in the middle of the ocean, but gets stressed about deadlines or jumps at a spider," the psychologist explained.
Walking out of a store without buying anything!
At some stores when you buy nothing you still need to actually go through one of the check outs to get out the exit door!
Driving in between two semi trucks on the freeway. Bonus points if one or both is carrying a bunch of logs.
The author of Freeing Your Child from Anxiety and Freeing Yourself from Anxiety said, "Genetics plays a part in setting our anxiety thresholds as to what we react to and how strongly, but our experiences can as well."
Someone who has lived in protracted stressful situations can become much more reactive to even minor stressful situations. "People who have survived traumatic experiences and the like, their nervous system is primed for threat, and reminders of the traumatic event or other stressful situations can trigger what feels like uncontrollable anxious reactions — before they can even think or realize what is happening," Dr. Chansky said.
"Fortunately, anxiety disorders are the most treatable psychiatric condition, so please talk to your doctor, or find resources and information, including on my website TamarChansky.com and adaa.org."
At meetings when they say, “Ok, everyone, let’s go around the room and introduce yourself.” Even worse when they require stupid things like, “Include your favorite food and why you like it” or “Tell us why you’re here.” Uhhh…because it’s mandatory?
Trying to mingle/start conversations in social settings where I don't know anybody.
However, if you relate to the people on this list and also freak out in everyday situations, don't beat yourself up over it. "While we might think that we can get used to things that make us anxious — and we can, and we do — that's not necessarily how it always happens," Dr. Chansky highlighted. "There is a 'sweet spot' for overcoming anxiety. The anxiety level has to be not too high (or too low) and then we can learn to see that the situation is manageable and control our reactions, actually 'right size' them and bring that experience into our comfort zone."
The psychologist suggests thinking about it like this: if a person who is afraid of dogs is exposed over and over again to a big, loud dog, they are going to get more and more anxious with each confrontation. But on the other hand, if they are exposed to a little dog, or even a sleeping dog (maybe even pictures of dogs), their nervous system will learn, through experience, that they are safe and won't have a disproportionate reaction. Eventually, the category of 'dog' will change in their mind through gradual exposure and the fear will diminish.
But sometimes our inner demons can get the best of us. Especially now. In a review of 215 studies exploring the ways Covid-19 affects the brain and mental health, the researchers found very high numbers of patients reporting symptoms of mental health issues like depression (23%) and anxiety (16%). "Even though it's expected, anxiety has spiked in the pandemic," Dr. Chansky added. If you feel like you can't manage, please seek help and support. You can start by learning new strategies for managing worry and anxiety, and can find them here.
Drive in front of a police officer when I have no reason to be nervous.
This has to be an American thing. Here in the Netherlands I am more often annoyed at a police car passing me at 5 km over the speed limit. Feel like reporting them to their boss :-0
Not only an American thing. It makes a nervous person's mind spin of in all sorts of directions. Did I overlook a sign, so I am speeding? Was the last ligtht actually green or did I not notice the special light for those that turning left? Are my taillights functioning? Is the exhaust about to come lose or is it too noisy? How about the state of my tires, haven't controlled those lately and on and on and on...
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Cops in the USA are terrifying. The forces are staffed by bullies and wannabe soldiers. Police forces are a toxic "us vs them" culture and their leadership trains them to behave like they're at war with civilians. They're constantly doing horrible things, getting away with it, and the overall power disparity between cops & civilians is monstrous. You really don't want to gamble that "this is one of the good ones" because of the potential for suffering they can inflict (physically, financially, legally). That photo, however, looks to be China, which I don't know enough about to comment about their police, but I think the photos are arbitrary anyway.
American police also have a white supremacist problem: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/fbi-white-supremacists-in-law-enforcement
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Very true in America. Especially at the ends of the police's fiscal months where they tally up their budgets numbers and need to make up revenue by issuing more tickets. At these times they will ticket you for small, almost nonsensical infractions that are normally not enforced. Also, police in the US will often pull you over if you don't "look like you belong in the area" (this is typically racially and socio-economically motivated.)
I'm white Canadian. Last time I was in the states I was one in the middle of a pack of cars going the same speed on the highway (I know because I was pacing them to confirm my speed since I have trouble with the km/h and mph conversion math). In the middle and I was the only car pulled over for speeding. Still ended up with the white privilege though because I full blown panic attacked and cried on him and so got a warning instead. But if I was actually pulled over for speeding then it shouldn't have mattered either way and I should have gotten the ticket.
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Driving in front of a cop *is* a reason to be nervous. Half the time they're just looking for something to entertain them, like bullies pulling the wings off of a fly, and the car in front of them is like fish in a barrel. I've even had cops extort me because it amused them and I had no choice but to comply. Stay out of their sight when you can, most don't want to help you. Just the opposite.
I live in Victoria Australia and I am nervous when ever I see the police. There is a very good reason why one of Australia’s best known cultural hero’s is Ned Kelly because he stood to the Victorian Police and was killed for doing so. They are nothing but bullies who go after law abiding citizens rather than real criminals
Funny how these known crime families are out and about free to make money from their criminal endeavours, but the average person gets a ticket for a broken tail light. I would not trust cops no more than I would trust real estate agents, lawyers, car salesmen, politicians or any other shady filth. Avoid them like the plague at all times, mate.
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Not driving in front of it, but I had to pass a slow police car from the wrong side, and he kept driving in that slow speed. To this day I have no clue what they were doing, they slowed the entire lane in that tunnel. Swede here, btw
This doesn't make me nervous, as I know I did nothing wrong. The only thing they can stop me for is a routine traffic control.
If your a POC in the US you have every reason to feel nervous in this situation. I had a cop pull me over for speeding. Instead of giving me a ticket he yelled at me to slow down, reached inside my car, and whacked my hat down over my face. I'm sure if I was black things would've been worse. I was shook up but at least not dead.
You can request his badge number, they are legally obligated to provide it, and report him to his higher up (Sargent iirc).
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Wont happen in Sweden. You need to actually see a police car to be able to,get nervous. You could say law enforcement is missing in action, suspected KIA here.
You should absolutely be scared for your life if a cop is behind you. Unfortunately in the US, you are guilty until proven innocent. Cops can hold you as long as they want until they determine you are innocent (if you’re lucky, because they’ll charge you for back talk and call it ‘resisting arrest’)
Here in the US, apparently, you can get pulled over for overtaking a cop. I guess they don't like being cut off.
Was driving with cruise control at the speed limit. Got pulled over for driving the normal speed by a cop going slower than me in Cali, US.
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yessss especially cause i often see police officers when i'm biking, and due to a lack of bike lanes i am frequently breaking traffic laws. unless i'm at school, then i'm glad to see police officers cause they don't meddle in school business and are there to protect us in case of a shooter.
I did have a reason to be nervous for many years, when picking up weed from the dealers. My nerves aren't as bad now, now that weed is legal!
see...think about what an actual cop can see, passing you. you can do this every single day...you pass how many cars at speed? look at them. can you see a doob? being passed? the only thing that'll catch that cop's attention is you...doing something wrong with your car. suddenly slowing. swerving a little. that kind of thing. you end up asking for it because you got nervous...
“Was I speeding and didn’t realize it? Are all my signals working? Did I forget to swap out my most recent insurance card, or will I get a $500 fine if they pull me over? Did I accidentally do something really illegal without realizing it?”
Load More Replies... Standing up for myself. Not sure if it's how I was raised or lingering PTSD from a violent childhood event or whatever but my adrenaline immediately spikes expecting a confrontation, even when just politely asking someone not to speak me in a certain tone or whatever.
Every damn time
Answering the door. Sometimes I just don’t.
its a millenial/gen z thing. most of my friends whatsapp me to say they're outside instead of knocking. tf
Walking over a storm drain with my keys in my hand
Just walking over it period, always think with my luck I’ll fall right through
Approaching a green light that has been green too long but you are getting to the distance where you don't know whether or not you should stop or if you can stop
Surprise guests.
Merging onto a busy highway
Oh, I hate that, I really do! Even I try to keep calm now I'm in the sixth decade of my life
When my someone says to me "can I be honest with you?"
No, lie to me, please!
I have responded "no" to this before. Boundaries are good. Sometimes I don't have the energy for someone's honesty at the moments. Maybe later. But in that exact moment, no. I've even followed up with, "Please lie to me." It's a great sentence to lighten the mood and people will tone down their brutal honesty.
Using an (I think) aluminum measuring tape but especially when clicking the button to make it roll back into its case. At the speed it recoils, I’m scared the tape will slice my hand right open.
If you're nervous, know you can always help feed it back in. If you hold onto the tape with your other hand, you can slow it down considerably.
Finding a tick on my body....
Calling someone on the phone. I'm a fairly outgoing person and I love talking to people, but I rely a lot on seeing a person's face and observing their body language, which isn't possible on the phone. Voicemails are less terrible, but I still panic a little because if I mess up while leaving a message, the other person has a freaking recording of me being really awkward. I'm so thankful texting exists.
Public speaking
I have learned that when you first confess to the people that you are nervous, you have won them over a bit and they will laugh or smile and help you get over your fears!
The dentist, no matter how many times I go there it's always stressful
Starting a new job, because I can't stand the first few weeks where I don't know what I'm doing. But I love walking into a job after 6 months or so when I might as well own the place cause they can't operate without me!
Going into small businesses that I haven't been in before
It sucks because you'll get the "may I help you sir?", you'll say "just browsing", then you might not find anything to buy and feel ashamed for walking out empty handed!
Climbing a ladder
Climbing the ladder to stand on the roof is the easy part! Getting back on the ladder backwards and coming down without killing yourself is the terrifying part!
Cutting my infants fingernails.
Omg yes, I accidentally clipped my daughters finger when she was a baby coz she moved just as I went to clip the nail. I cried more than she did coz I felt so awful.
Coming face to face with people in my apartment building. After being in lockdown and working from home I’ve become covid stupid. I’m not able to even get out a hello.
Flirt, ask someone out.
You see someone you like, you meet, start talking, you build an interest in the person, start interpreting the small signals, build up your courage, ask him/her out and they say no... The mental stake is high, and you lost. It will take a while to rebuild your bank. Of course it's scary!
Going to local bars when I’m not a local lol. Those mfs can like smell you’re not from there even if you live the town over. They all stare at you like you’re an outside who needs to leave. So strange.
That's why I LOVE big cities. Anonymity wherever you go. And if you make a fool of yourself at the bar 1) it's unlikely anyone will remember & 2) if it was really that bad, there's 100 more bars within walking distance. Try one of those instead.
Killing a spider
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Going through airport security!! Omg do I have heroin in my bag (never even seen heroin in my entire life)
Talk about customs when you're an international student.
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...training course or whatever and "psychodrama" comes up. I actually left a work sponsored "retreat" over that. Retreat my skinny ass. Work sponsored anxiety is what it was.
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Ending a phone conversation with a casual acquaintance. There seems to be about 2 minutes of awkward platitudes between finishing the actual conversation and ending the call. Both of us will run through this entire list in random order: "Alright, take care, I appreciate it, no problem, have a good day, enjoy your weekend, let me know if you need anything else, thank you, happy to help, take it easy, have a good one, speak soon, no THANK YOU, any time, talk to you later, see you tomorrow, OK THANKS! BYE! LATER! SEE YA! ALRIGHT BUH BYE!" Then I'll pull the phone away from my ear and I hear the faint sound of "Enjoy your lunch!" as my thumb is ending the call, and I just know they must think I'm a horribly rude person at that point.
Having to tell someone at work they did something wrong. Afterwards, I don't mind explaining why it is wrong, and working with the person until they get it right and confident.
I'm most nervous around children, babies in particular. When family or friends get together and there's a baby among them, i'd rather leave... quietly out the back door, and drive to a hotel in the next town and turn off my phone. maybe use an alias and a rental and pay in cash everywhere i go with a hoodie and sunglasses on.
In my country you do have to be nervous if you pull in front of a cop. Someone in my city was executed for it just a few months ago. Cop said he saw the person "waving a gun around" inside the car (in the dark, at night, sure buddy) and opened fire. Killed the passenger too.
What in the hell did I just read?!? Are you serious?!?!
Load More Replies... For me it's driving (just generally) these days. It wasn't always the case, I consider myself to be a very good driver and I used to be really confident behind the wheel. But over the last few years the amount of times I have had to slam on because someone has stepped into the road without paying attention or another vehicle has cut me up is maddening. Just this last week I've had a cyclist shoot out from behind a wall onto the road and force me to screech to a halt AND also had someone reverse towards my car in a car park clearly oblivious to my car being there and only missed me by inches. Just feels like when I'm behind the wheel these days I have to be so hyper aware of everything going on that I can't enjoy simply driving anymore.
Going into any public area by yourself. I'm an introvert but there are limits
I hate when I have to fart and cant excuse myself, but its causing stomach pain so I break wind, ever so daintily , and its an eye watering, room clearing demon sent forth from the decrepit hell of my innards.
Biding a job. I need the money, but if I ask for too little, I don't make any money.
Buying alcohol or cigarettes and getting ID'd bc I look so different now.....and...even though I know I have money in my account, having someone say "your card was declined".
Oh the horrible pause before the card goes through always frightens me even though I know there's money in there!
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Driving a rental car every time. It’s like I had just passed my driving exam the day before!
At my old job they knew I was in constant fear of losing my job for whatever reason. (I was the breadwinner in my household and my husband, who was a line cook, was forever switching jobs or getting let go - exec chefs have short tempers.) Anyway, anytime one of my bosses called for me to come to their offices it would go like this... "Elizabeth, can you come in for a moment? And NO, you're not getting fired." It became a running joke.
They have pills now that apparently make your penis grow
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Sitting in the back part of an articulated bus. For some reason it just feels dangerous that there is an extra part to the bus and it feels like it will swing too far
the back part of a bus is dangerous- for cyclists
Load More Replies... Going through airport security!! Omg do I have heroin in my bag (never even seen heroin in my entire life)
Talk about customs when you're an international student.
Load More Replies... ...training course or whatever and "psychodrama" comes up. I actually left a work sponsored "retreat" over that. Retreat my skinny ass. Work sponsored anxiety is what it was.
Load More Replies... Ending a phone conversation with a casual acquaintance. There seems to be about 2 minutes of awkward platitudes between finishing the actual conversation and ending the call. Both of us will run through this entire list in random order: "Alright, take care, I appreciate it, no problem, have a good day, enjoy your weekend, let me know if you need anything else, thank you, happy to help, take it easy, have a good one, speak soon, no THANK YOU, any time, talk to you later, see you tomorrow, OK THANKS! BYE! LATER! SEE YA! ALRIGHT BUH BYE!" Then I'll pull the phone away from my ear and I hear the faint sound of "Enjoy your lunch!" as my thumb is ending the call, and I just know they must think I'm a horribly rude person at that point.
Having to tell someone at work they did something wrong. Afterwards, I don't mind explaining why it is wrong, and working with the person until they get it right and confident.
I'm most nervous around children, babies in particular. When family or friends get together and there's a baby among them, i'd rather leave... quietly out the back door, and drive to a hotel in the next town and turn off my phone. maybe use an alias and a rental and pay in cash everywhere i go with a hoodie and sunglasses on.
In my country you do have to be nervous if you pull in front of a cop. Someone in my city was executed for it just a few months ago. Cop said he saw the person "waving a gun around" inside the car (in the dark, at night, sure buddy) and opened fire. Killed the passenger too.
What in the hell did I just read?!? Are you serious?!?!
Load More Replies... For me it's driving (just generally) these days. It wasn't always the case, I consider myself to be a very good driver and I used to be really confident behind the wheel. But over the last few years the amount of times I have had to slam on because someone has stepped into the road without paying attention or another vehicle has cut me up is maddening. Just this last week I've had a cyclist shoot out from behind a wall onto the road and force me to screech to a halt AND also had someone reverse towards my car in a car park clearly oblivious to my car being there and only missed me by inches. Just feels like when I'm behind the wheel these days I have to be so hyper aware of everything going on that I can't enjoy simply driving anymore.
Going into any public area by yourself. I'm an introvert but there are limits
I hate when I have to fart and cant excuse myself, but its causing stomach pain so I break wind, ever so daintily , and its an eye watering, room clearing demon sent forth from the decrepit hell of my innards.
Biding a job. I need the money, but if I ask for too little, I don't make any money.
Buying alcohol or cigarettes and getting ID'd bc I look so different now.....and...even though I know I have money in my account, having someone say "your card was declined".
Oh the horrible pause before the card goes through always frightens me even though I know there's money in there!
Load More Replies... Driving a rental car every time. It’s like I had just passed my driving exam the day before!
At my old job they knew I was in constant fear of losing my job for whatever reason. (I was the breadwinner in my household and my husband, who was a line cook, was forever switching jobs or getting let go - exec chefs have short tempers.) Anyway, anytime one of my bosses called for me to come to their offices it would go like this... "Elizabeth, can you come in for a moment? And NO, you're not getting fired." It became a running joke.
They have pills now that apparently make your penis grow
Load More Replies... Sitting in the back part of an articulated bus. For some reason it just feels dangerous that there is an extra part to the bus and it feels like it will swing too far
the back part of a bus is dangerous- for cyclists
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