This Therapist Goes Viral With 2.3M Views By Sharing 3 Things People Shouldn’t Do When They Fall In Love
Interview
The concept of love has always brought up a lot of deep and meaningful questions. Even though falling in love is one of the most beautiful things that can happen to a person, it is also full of twists and turns. This is why the therapist Jeff Guenther decided to share 3 things people shouldn’t do when they feel that they’ve fallen in love with someone. He shared his advice and remarks in a TikTok video that now has 2.3 M views.
In his video, Guenther introduces himself as a therapist. He is also a co-founder of TherapyDen—a platform where people can find therapists of all sorts of specialties. Giving his knowledge and expertise in the field, Guenther also shares some of his work-related insights on TikTok. These include revealing what therapists actually think in certain situations and giving advice on some common issues that people encounter in their relationships
More Info: TikTok
A therapist from TherapyDen decided to share 3 useful tips on what to avoid when you fall in love with someone
Image credits: therapyden
In his most reviewed video, the therapist talks about relationships and how to keep your head clear when you feel that you’ve fallen in love with someone. He gives 3 simple yet important tips to keep in mind so that your new and fresh relationships have a good head start.
These 3 simple but valuable tips soon became viral on TikTok with 2.3M views
Image credits: therapyden
First of all, it is important for the person not to get caught up in the idea that they’ve fallen in love, but rather to see and find out all the things that might annoy them and try to really understand that person. According to the specialist, once you take into account someone’s irritating manners and still want to be with them, this is a sign that you love this person.
The therapist explained why it’s better keep things slow and steady even though you might want to “dive in” to the new relationship
Image credits: therapyden
The second piece of advice is related to taking things slow. As much as you’d like to see this person every day, it is better to give them and yourself some time as those who dive into a relationship fast tend to break up. Guenther also mentioned that if you’re feeling “anxious” about not seeing this person, it helps to “flip this feeling upside down” to feel good again about the time when you are going to see each other.
Image credits: therapyden
The third thing that the therapist suggests is to stop yourself from making any big and important decisions such as moving in together before you really get to know the person. He also stressed that if another person is pushing you into some big commitments at the start, it should really be seen as a red flag.
Bored Panda contacted the therapist to get some more insights on the topic. At first, he admitted that he was quite surprised to see the video gain so much attention. But then he realized that “it made sense to me why it was so popular. People want to know what they need to do in order to create healthy relationships. I think that’s a pretty universal feeling.”
The first piece of advice that the therapist gave his audience was to see and acknowledge the annoying habits of their love interest. But what to do when you find it really hard to deal with these habits? Guenther reveals that first, it is best to come forward and tell the truth about what is bothering you and ask them to stop. He also added: “Try not to hyper-focus on it. Deliberately try to let go of your annoyance when they do the behavior. You have the power to change your relationship with the annoying habit. If your partner can’t stop it, then you can try your best to find peace and acceptance around it. And if you’re really skilled, try to find the habit endearing or cute. It’s a part of who they are and if you’re going to stay with them then you gotta find a way to tolerate it.“
Image credits: therapyden
People who watch and follow the specialist also like to share their own experiences in the comments. Some of them admitted that they rushed into their relationship, but managed to work it out. Bored Panda asked what Guenther thought about this kind of situation, to which he answered: “Honestly, it’s typical to do the opposite of all my suggestions in the video. If you can do just one of them, I’d be happy for you. But even if you fail at all three, there is still a chance you’ll have a very happy relationship. I just think you’ll have the best shot at a healthy relationship if you can do all the 3 suggestions at the start.”
The therapist also has mentioned that if people are interested in finding out more about such topics, they can also check out the podcast created by Therapist Den called Swoon. Here, two therapists, Julie Jeske and Gina Senarighi, talk about various topics related to relationships, intimacy, and love.
What do you think about these tips? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
Check out the full video down below!
@therapyden3 things you should NOT do when you fall in love. #therapytiktok #mentalhealth #dating #therapytok #love♬ original sound – TherapyDen
People in the comments section were also sharing their own insights and experiences related to relationships
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When I first saw the object of my love, I knew it was love at first sight and destined to be. 3 years later I still get that butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling when I hear the sound of their voice. And yes, I'm talking about my guitar.
Actually, I'm not a fan of tiktok but this is good advice for the younger generation. I'm impressed. Maybe because he is a) a real therapist and not some "attention seeking mum". b) No dancing and c) the wording is exactly right for those very young without being condescending. Well well well, who'd have thought I could be positive for a change ;)
I don't know, I was 43 when I got together with my second husband. We made all these mistakes. It worked out for us but lots of hard work was needed. Maybe at a younger age we would have given up, or not. Still, I think it's good advice at any age.
Load More Replies...
I definitely made some...irrational...choices when I met my husband. We moved faster than I would recommend to people and it could have ended horribly. We got lucky and are happily married 11 years in december. While some of the choices I made I would prefer if my own son and/our daughter didn't make I also feel like sometimes you have to make those mistakes. You have to take risks and understand there is a chance for heartache. Taking it slow is great. But flying by instinct creates an adventure and a story. Do what you want. It's just life and no one makes it out alive anyway.
Yes. After five days long conversations, we (me and my wife) moved together and after moving we started really dating. Now it is 11 years, 9 years married and one child. My friend dated his girl 4 years, he was ready to propose but before that they moved together and he unfortunately can’t stayed her lazyness in house chores, so they broke up, after many arguing, after 6 months living together. They could not live together.
Load More Replies...
Number 1 should be: Learn to recognize the difference between love and hormones.
I never believed in love at first sight. I was highly interested in my (future to be) wife when I first met her. She was intriguing and I wanted to know more! So I did. We took our time getting to know each other. Going to be celebrating 25 years married next week too!
Well it took my wife and I 15 years to move in together and 5 years after that to finally get married, so... I think we're good.
I knew my wife for 5 days and i moved to her when we even were not a couple. Just after a few very long conversations. After this 5 days we started dating. We are more than 11 years together, 9years married and have a nice son. The best decision was, that we started living together right away. So what couples, which are dating for years are solving, we have already solved and knew, how it is living together and what kind of persons for life we are ☺️
I appreciate this guy because he's counteracting something called survivor bias. Essentially you can't always rely on the opinion of the ones that succeed because you don't have a chance to talk to all the ones who failed. For every "I did xxxx to succeed" they could be right or there could be another 1 or 100 or 1000 who also did xxxx and failed. You have no idea. This guy has talked to all of those 1000 and shared "you think this works but it actually does not most of the time". Of course there are outliers and love at first sight may happen. But people have also survived not having their parachute open. Don't listen to the one person who survived on how to skydive.
Absolutely NO ONE want to go at a normal pace. People are in such a damn hurry. I won't even date that. Internet has causes too many people to believe in unrealistic expectations. I'd like to throw it out the window lol
My husband and I did move so fast. We were friends in school and got together at a class reunion. We'd both been through divorces and were so lonely. I moved in 4 mos later and our old high school demons blew up, (drugs, alcohol and codependence.) We went through hell together until we both got into recovery. We've been clean for years and after 12 years we got married last month. We're still like school kids in some ways, we love making out and PDA's like we just met.
ANY person that feels that he or she has to swear to make a point has some therapy needs of their own. Is he trying to connect with a generation that "f**in" needsaccents to comments to get attention? To me he looses credibility. Good advice mixed with sh** becomes pretty ****!
When I first saw the object of my love, I knew it was love at first sight and destined to be. 3 years later I still get that butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling when I hear the sound of their voice. And yes, I'm talking about my guitar.
Actually, I'm not a fan of tiktok but this is good advice for the younger generation. I'm impressed. Maybe because he is a) a real therapist and not some "attention seeking mum". b) No dancing and c) the wording is exactly right for those very young without being condescending. Well well well, who'd have thought I could be positive for a change ;)
I don't know, I was 43 when I got together with my second husband. We made all these mistakes. It worked out for us but lots of hard work was needed. Maybe at a younger age we would have given up, or not. Still, I think it's good advice at any age.
Load More Replies... I definitely made some...irrational...choices when I met my husband. We moved faster than I would recommend to people and it could have ended horribly. We got lucky and are happily married 11 years in december. While some of the choices I made I would prefer if my own son and/our daughter didn't make I also feel like sometimes you have to make those mistakes. You have to take risks and understand there is a chance for heartache. Taking it slow is great. But flying by instinct creates an adventure and a story. Do what you want. It's just life and no one makes it out alive anyway.
Yes. After five days long conversations, we (me and my wife) moved together and after moving we started really dating. Now it is 11 years, 9 years married and one child. My friend dated his girl 4 years, he was ready to propose but before that they moved together and he unfortunately can’t stayed her lazyness in house chores, so they broke up, after many arguing, after 6 months living together. They could not live together.
Load More Replies... Number 1 should be: Learn to recognize the difference between love and hormones.
I never believed in love at first sight. I was highly interested in my (future to be) wife when I first met her. She was intriguing and I wanted to know more! So I did. We took our time getting to know each other. Going to be celebrating 25 years married next week too!
Well it took my wife and I 15 years to move in together and 5 years after that to finally get married, so... I think we're good.
I knew my wife for 5 days and i moved to her when we even were not a couple. Just after a few very long conversations. After this 5 days we started dating. We are more than 11 years together, 9years married and have a nice son. The best decision was, that we started living together right away. So what couples, which are dating for years are solving, we have already solved and knew, how it is living together and what kind of persons for life we are ☺️
I appreciate this guy because he's counteracting something called survivor bias. Essentially you can't always rely on the opinion of the ones that succeed because you don't have a chance to talk to all the ones who failed. For every "I did xxxx to succeed" they could be right or there could be another 1 or 100 or 1000 who also did xxxx and failed. You have no idea. This guy has talked to all of those 1000 and shared "you think this works but it actually does not most of the time". Of course there are outliers and love at first sight may happen. But people have also survived not having their parachute open. Don't listen to the one person who survived on how to skydive.
Absolutely NO ONE want to go at a normal pace. People are in such a damn hurry. I won't even date that. Internet has causes too many people to believe in unrealistic expectations. I'd like to throw it out the window lol
My husband and I did move so fast. We were friends in school and got together at a class reunion. We'd both been through divorces and were so lonely. I moved in 4 mos later and our old high school demons blew up, (drugs, alcohol and codependence.) We went through hell together until we both got into recovery. We've been clean for years and after 12 years we got married last month. We're still like school kids in some ways, we love making out and PDA's like we just met.
ANY person that feels that he or she has to swear to make a point has some therapy needs of their own. Is he trying to connect with a generation that "f**in" needsaccents to comments to get attention? To me he looses credibility. Good advice mixed with sh** becomes pretty ****!
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