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Remember how John Gray said that men and women are from distinct planets – it is still believed by our society that no matter how hard we try, women won't understand men and vice versa. The common idea is that women are much more communicative and tend to express their feelings, whereas men are seen as more introverted and even apathetic. The myth about women and men having different brains has been busted, so how could it be explained that we both have such behavioral differences? 

One neuropsychiatrist suggested that the male brain reads emotions very quickly and then shuts it down behind the mask of masculinity. So, could it be that those differences come from the toxic societal norms? While our world is slowly trying to introduce a healthy atmosphere towards its people, an online user decided to find things out through men themselves and asked the community: "men of Reddit, what's the most difficult thing to explain to women?"

The question received 13.4K upvotes and 8.3K comments where men listed a bunch of random things that they personally had a hard time explaining to women. However, If there's anything on your mind that you would like to add, don't hesitate to comment down below.

More info: Reddit

#1

That, despite what movies/TV/literature hammer into your brains, fathers can be emotionally available, engaged, great parents.
 
I'm the sole parent of a son and two daughters and I've had to listen to "what does mom think of her getting this haircut?", and "tell mom to schedule an appointment" for years.
 
Mom's in a halfway house you f%*kwit, and I'm plenty capable of making decisions for my own children.

TecumsehSherman , Alice Keeler Report

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lordmysticlaw avatar
Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well done good sir. I do know that there are many fantastic fathers our there, single or not. And as a single mother I also hate the assumptions about "mom stuff" and "dad stuff"... really, do not even get me started on that subject.

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#2

That many men only have meaningful physical contact with their SO.
 
Single men often exist in touch isolation. For a variety of reasons and social pressures, many men experience a lack of physical contact.
 
Most men I know won't even feel comfortable hugging their best friend. For a long time, the only physical contact I had with other people was either sexual or a part of a competitive sport. Getting closer to middle age I've learned to hug my friends and have platonic physical contact.
 
It really helped my mental health. I used to feel alone all the time even when I was with friends. Hug your male friends and help them normalize platonic physical affection.

zzSc0tchzz , Iain Farrell Report

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#3

I do not pick up on "signals." Please ask us out or tell me, to my face, like a 5 year old, what you want or are thinking. I am kind of dumb.

CptBifkin , Ewen Roberts Report

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elliotfowler avatar
Elliot Fowler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That probably won't be enough. Since the probabily of this happening is so rare, a man might think that this is a trick or prank. Kinda like finding a gold chest in the moddle of the road. Too good to be true

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#4

When I'm asked what I'm thinking about and I say nothing, it's because I'm usually thinking of something dumb like who would win a fight. Godzilla or Megatron?

DisThrowaway5768 , Martin Lopatka Report

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annahamalainen avatar
AJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really enjoy asking my SO what he's thinking about right now. He's always thinking about something, he always replies when I ask and the subjects are so random!

arthurwaite avatar
Arthur Waite
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's brave and you are a gem.... When I started out with my SO, I decided that answering 'nothing' was unfair, so I began transferring the idle thoughts into words and sharing them. And usually, the reply I got was: "why aren't you thinking about me?" It's a red flag I was too stupid to see.

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lunanik avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm female and I think about "dumb" stuff like this all the time. I thought everyone did. Thoughts aren't always deep; sometimes they're just silly, especially when you have ADHD.

vickyz avatar
Vicky Z
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm jealous cause I'm usually thinking of things that i have to do and delay them! Would love to think of random silly things

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sareaesque668 avatar
Steph Harrison
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't consider that dumb. Whenever I get thoughts like that I immediately share them with my fiancé because the resulting conversations are highly entertaining.

meghanhibicke avatar
Evil Little Thing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is also me. My gf stopped asking me what I was thinking about when I zoned out because it was always something like "What if people were otters?"

ericc_ avatar
Eric C.
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And oftentimes when I say 'nothing' , I actually mean 'nothing'.

carolyngerbrands avatar
Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're in your "nothing box". Mark Gungor, Tale of 2 brains YouTube.

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b_nut137 avatar
Pheebs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have learned to just let those thoughts out to my SO. It makes life so much fun.

mrkette avatar
skyrender avatar
Sky Render
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean size alone decides that battle. Megatron's about 8'6'', Godzilla's canonically 393' tall. That's more or less the equivalent of a 6' tall man taking on a 1 1/2'' tall mouse. The mouse is never gonna win that fight straight up.

angelanagel avatar
Yoga Kitty
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I often have music running in my head, like, the same song, stuck for hours and hours, sometimes several days in a row. Oftentimes I suddenly catch myself singing along and do not know when I even started. Can be a bit embarrassing... Also, it is not necessarily a song I like.

mrkette avatar
Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can you rechanel it by playing something on a radio/record player/CD/Spotify/Pandora/iTunes?

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dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And I want you to share precisely these "dumb" thoughts! (Btw, I don't really throw this question around, but I've been asked that often)

lordmysticlaw avatar
Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg is this supposed to be a man thing? I do this 🤣 I have a very special selected few friends who would actually get an honest answer

deathrose avatar
deathrose
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Godzilla, prime core or not. My husband and I ask things like this to each other.

mwangim62 avatar
Rijkærd
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This. This rings true in all the places. I can feel this post.

catmarshall57 avatar
BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone said that to me, it would trigger a fun conversation.

j_f_ avatar
mrkette avatar
craig_reynolds_usa avatar
Craig Reynolds
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That question always irritates me no matter who is asking! Seriously people, do NOT ask anyone that. Thoughts are private and will be shared if the person wants to. Asking is just plain rude.

pmnovack avatar
Kanga9ine
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can think about the dumbest stuff it's embarrassing. Seinfeld once said when asked what he's thinking about and he said nothing, it was because he was thinking about absolutely nothing. I have a pile of books going at all times. The more useless the information, the more likely I am to remember it and share. Weird quotes are a big favorite too. People say some weird things. Like "Strangers always have the very best candy" or "confused as a baby in a topless bar". Remember, it is possible to put the fun back in dysfunctional.

saaiakani avatar
Kelli Pike
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay, but when I ask my husband that, I actually want to hear it!! First thing we did after seeing NO Way Home was to turn to each other and theorycraft about how deep the memory spell went (i.e., does Tony know, would Peter still have control over EDITH, etc.). We say exactly what the other is thinking several times a day every day.

synsepalum avatar
Synsepalum
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Godzilla. Megatron has a fatal flaw, he turns into a gun, but cannot fire himself. That's what Starscream is for. Without Starscream, Megatron is nothing.

mfernandez avatar
Michael Fernandez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once thought my phone was garbling up text messages after a software update and sent to a group text that whenever I'm looking off into space, I'm likely imagining the movement of complex hinges, and I was being completely serious. Nobody has ever commented on it, perhaps because the message wasn't sent or because I'd jokingly said it was a "hinge fetish."

tami_6 avatar
Tami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband's ex once asked him what he was thinking about and he said, "Running a paver in Saudi Arabia." They weren't long for it.

lynslow avatar
Demongrrrrl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of times I'm really not thinking of anything that I can put into words. So I just say my "screensaver" is on.

lakithatolbert avatar
lakitha tolbert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well dude! obviously the answer is MechaGodzilla! What’s wrong witchyu?

trex67 avatar
trex67
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They should just say "Who would win in a fight: Godzilla or Megatron?" THAT would be interesting. So what if someone thinks you're weird? Who cares? Life's too short.

marvinhog avatar
Marvin HoG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try telling the person anyway. If they aren't interested in who would win oh well. But you might be surprised, maybe your partner has an opinion. (Megatron, btw)

naschi avatar
Na Schi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The dumbest thing you can do/tell is saying I think about nothing. Every human (who isn't diagnosed brain-dead) is thinking about things. Why dont you share with your SO? I dont get it how people can be happily in a relationship were the man obviously is not thinking about anything and the woman is happy to babble about how her nails were done to fill in the silence.

chclt4marcia avatar
Marcia Ferris
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I ask this question I want to know whick monster you think would win. I like the random thoughts. If they are dark, I can listen to that too.

marneederider40 avatar
Marnie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why oh why oh why would someone ask what someone is thinking unless they are engaged in an important conversation? My ex-husband used to ask me that, and I'm like, "I thought of 17 things just while you were asking me that question." I never knew what to say to him.

richardportman avatar
Richard Portman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who says I'm even thinking at all? My inner monologue might be engaged in a life or death struggle with some silly tune that has invaded my head.

angelina_2 avatar
Angela B. Garrelds
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In our marriage we say "Homebanking" as an answer to that Question (in Germany there was a Song this Name Long ago about this "Problem") - so the SO knows that we were just hopping around irrelevant and maybe dumb thoughts about Mermaids taken the Aliens or something like that. :)

marilynransberry avatar
Marilyn Ransberry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine would answer “ I don’t know. “ or “ nothing”. . He is smart so I doubt it.

tonk_terrier avatar
Tonk Terrier
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Literally nothing. Like an off channel TV. Just white noise. Im not certain Women can do this?

davogifman avatar
Davo gifman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well actually just refer to #4... same thing; so once again what's the point.

dmarsh avatar
Daniel Marsh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just above, I was encouraging women to treat men more directly. Corollary here: men are more direct. You don't have to wonder what they're thinking when they tell you nothing. If it were something, they'd tell you. i

leeanneb avatar
LeeAnne B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Megatron obviously. Unless they fell into water while wrestling.

kendramiller avatar
Kendra Miller
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I say nothing, it's because I'm not thinking about anything, just absorbing and being aware of what's going on around me.

thomasesthomas avatar
Thomas E S Thomas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Megaton would win because he's way cooler and shoots missiles out of his back. Godzilla can't fly into space.

jevanderwerf avatar
13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok so we want to KNOW THIS. We may have important information to weigh in on this decision.

nadinebamberger avatar
Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd love to talk to you about that, I have very strong opinions on the most random matters and I'd love to share them lol.

alt3travel avatar
Mike Ieva
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That Godzilla statue in Tokyo is really disappointing... Btw

mrkette avatar
assistanttodj avatar
Karis Ravenhill
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stopped bothering to ask this question when the only responses were "video games", "guns" or "how horny" they are.

junkmailspam avatar
An Co
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just go with the truth. Or make something up ever more ridiculous. Such as who would win in a fight, The Power Puff Girls, or a Spider bit by spiderman.

wallicktn avatar
Tracy Wallick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But I want to know that! I have opinions! (Godzilla would trash Megatron)

wh4ok avatar
Jon S.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The answer is usually nothing. The nothing box is my favourite box. But I had one girlfriend who would just not accept this as an answer so I used to make dumb stuff up on the spot like "who would win a fight between a monkey and a squirrel".

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pusheen buttercup
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sure the right match would be happy to hear about it, at least a little

suzannehaigh avatar
Tee Witt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least you are thinking, I was really shocked to find out recently that many men just do not think, at all, never. Does this mean they are autistic?

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#5

That I really want to dress up in full plate armor and own a warhorse.

BINGODINGODONG , Quinn Dombrowski Report

#6

When you ask me how my day was or what I did today, nothing in my day usually stands out as special, so I just dont remember. I usually dont remember what I do, I just live.

Ok--Masterpiece , Tony Alter Report

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Eb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Chaps, I'm happy to share the secret with you. It's not a memory test, it's about feeling connected and (in a marriage or LTR) the shared life. You could talk about a thought you had, something you saw, an idea you had for the weekend. Just share.

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#7

When I tell you I don’t need anything for Christmas it really means you should get me the 7541 piece Lego Millennium Falcon set.

familiarfate01 , Chris Devers Report

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Terilee Bruyere
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kind of goes against the "I don't pick up on signals" bit. Just say what kind of thing you want. You don't need to get specific but just say "I'd like something like _____".

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#8

That I feel like a creep just by simply existing. I'm always so worried I'm making someone uncomfortable just because I'm a sorta tall, kinda big guy just quietly existing.

I know it's because I've heard from so many people that "guys are such creeps" during middle/high school with no further explanation.

Saviourality , SparkFun Electronics Report

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Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aw, this is sad. Personally, big quiet guys don't freak me out or make me uncomfortable, they're usually the ones I like. And I swear I really don't assume that "all guys are creeps", I really do give all people a fair chance. I know that the creepy guys make life difficult for the genuinely good guys, especially if you're the shy and quiet type, and it's really really sad.

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#9

I can’t tell if you’re flirting with me or not.

note71 , Carlos Ebert Report

#10

That the more guys you have hanging out together, the dumber s!#t they get into increases exponentially.
 
You get two guys, and they might throw a water balloon against a glass window, breaking it over the others face. Get four together, and they fire an airsoft gun into an empty room and break the lightbulb.
 
God help you if you get more than that... And yes, those do seem to be very specific examples.

Onlyhereforthelaughs , Stephanie Young Merzel Report

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ghuleca14 avatar
Immortal Emperor Paradox
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True. In my engg. dorm, guys used to wear those containers used to store design sheets over their arms and legs and fight with each other believing they were transformers. Crazy days.

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#11

That they need to stop being so f%@king mean to themselves.

par163 , Quinn Dombrowski Report

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#12

That dudes can have a 2 hour conversation with each other (phone, down at the pub, playing online games) and not talk about any personal things.

My SO finds it super bizarre that I can talk to my brother for an hour and not know how his family is going, how his work is, what holiday plans are. Sometimes some bros just want to talk about movies or make fart jokes.

Russell James Smith , W2ttsy Report

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Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you do it ocasionally thats great. But it sounds as if he never talks seriously to his brother. It is important to ask your loved ones how they are doing.

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#13

That when you can’t decide between two outfits and you ask us we literally would be ok with you wearing a garbage bag if it means the process could be sped up and we don’t leave the house by midnight.

jco91595 , Ken Lund Report

#14

I still love you even though I can’t give you 100 reasons why I love you.

HoplessAndLonely84 , Mr.TinDC Report

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Sky Render
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We don't need a hundred reasons. Usually the answer we're after is something along the lines of "because you're you, and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else". (Don't you dare say that insincerely, though!)

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#15

I genuinely don't care where we go for dinner.

Jolly_Sea_5587 , daveynin Report

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Pheebs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I argue with my hubs about going out. Why is it always my decision? Food is pain for me, just pick someplace you know won’t kill me and I’ll find something I can eat.

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#16

Lack of emotion doesn’t always mean lack of caring.

PattyFlava269 , Maarten van Maanen Report

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#17

My missus met my oldest friend at a wedding early last year. Haven't seen him since, or for about ten years before, despite living about three miles away from each other.

Just before the wedding, she asked me how come we never met up, I said "he's alive, isn't he?". Couple of days later at the actual wedding, she asked him the same things, and he also said "he's alive, isn't he?".

She never understood that. Never managed to explain that to her.

Fhjull-Forked-Tongue , sofubared Report

#18

Why we can't coo qt babies like they do. I love babies they're the best. But if I do that in public people would give me weird looks.

Tony Alter , Highlord_Kochei Report

#19

Idk if most difficult but it sure did took a while to explain to my ex that we don’t look at each other’s d!$ks at the urinals.

itsOski13 , Jorge Report

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gale41_1 avatar
Alan Gale
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The unwritten rules in a mens loo are really strict! No eye contact, no speaking, and definately no looking!

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#20

How two or more men can bond just by standing in a room in silence.

ApatheistHeretic , schmeeve Report

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Terilee Bruyere
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not difficult. Have you ever seen that glance between two women when they hear a really crappy pick-up line? They are bonding as well.

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