When it comes to unwritten rules, there are plenty of grey areas between what behaviors people consider OK and not. Social norms differ between cultures; a certain act may receive sanctions or punishments within one group but be seen as normal within another. Plus, as society's understanding of norms changes over time, so too does its members' perception of deviance.
In an attempt to learn if this transformation can stall, Redditor u/sadboi017 asked other users: "What is considered socially unacceptable for no reason?" 34.9K upvotes and 21.3K comments later, I think it's safe to say that it can. Continue scrolling and check out some of the most popular answers.
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Not wanting to hold other people's babies...
Yes please! I hate it when people almost expect you to hold their baby and tell them how beautiful the wrinkly, sausage-y proto-human they made is.
Load More Replies...I totally agree I have 3 and that's fine for me but it was a choice as it should always be if your happy as you are then why is that not ok people heed to stop judging other people's life's and get on with their own. You do you and I wish you happiness x
Load More Replies...I just clasp my hands behind my back, lean forward to inspect the child, and say "Ah yes, very baby."
It should be the norm that no one should be forced to hold other people's babies. I always declined. Babies aren't like puppies that you hand around to play with for some time.
You shouldn't do that with puppies either. Stuffed toys are made for that,no living being should be "handed around to play with for some time".
Load More Replies...A friend of my mother once tried to hand her baby to me without warning. When I didn't take the baby, she nearly dropped the kid on the floor. She then accused me of almost dropping her baby. What kind of logic is that?
Someone's kitten, puppy, even a baby snake in a little hat - yes! Baby? Not so much, sorry.
I like babies, don't have my own, but what I also don't understand is to bring your newborn to the office to show others. I never know how to react so I avoid it. Why we can't bring new puppies or kittens?!
We should bring kittens and puppies. Instead of dress down Fridays we should have a puppy kitty day.
Load More Replies...Normally I also avoid to do this for safety reason... I just haven't know how to hold baby properly... As far as I know, their neck is very fragile and need special handling... Maybe will learn later...
yeah same here! I just don't trust myself enough.
Load More Replies...Babies are gross. They smell like sour milk, poop/pee their pants, puke randomly and are generally boring. I don't understand wanting to hold them.
Those of scared to hold babies are grateful for those who enjoy holding the delicate little creatures. :)
Load More Replies...Yeah. Babies are gross - they look like an old leatherbag with eyes and limps, scream, poop and puke all the time, or maybe piss right in your face, giggling because they're not disgusted and embarrassable yet ... when they can walk, and talk in understandable sentences, children start becoming something along the lines of maybe interesting.......
I have never voluntarily held any child, let alone a baby. I will happily hold any baby animal, even freshly born and sopping wet, before I would willingly hold a human offspring.
Kitten or a puppy, sure. Human babies are so fragile and squishy, ehy would i want to hold baby?
I love my kids, but dislike all others... My kids are mine, other kids are just...no
I've never had people just try to hand me their baby to hold, except at work where it was expected as a pediatric nurse.
I have a friend who does it all the time, she'll hand over her baby to someone without even asking. I guess it's because she's alone with her kids most of the time as her husband travels a lot for work, but it's annoying as hell. I like kids, but I'm out to have fun, not to be someone's babysitter.
Load More Replies...Is it wrong that I don't like babies or small children? My mom says they're precious and I'm just like... no
Your baby. You hold it. Not my problem and will never change my mind.
Babies used to freak me out so much. Not so much when they could hold their own head up, but I was terrified of the floppy stage. I was so worried I'd still be like that with my own kids but it was almost like a switch was flipped and I just intuitively knew how to hold a newborn baby. I'm guessing hormones? I don't know, but it still blows my mind to this day how it all just naturally worked itself out.
When a coworker tries to hand me their 8 month old baby whilst I'm on the factory floor, and I have to show him that my hands are covered in oil and cnc coolant and be like "Dude, bad timing, but that's a cute kid."
Farts are very much like other people’s kids or babies - you can deal with your own, but hate everyone else’s!!
I will hold anyone's baby maybe the new mum is exhausted or just needs to go spend a penny what I hate to see is a baby being passed around a group of relatives from one to the other when it is peaceful asleep their little bones get sore and then they become flustered and are past back to their mum who has to settle them down again while all the doting relashions look the other way
Why would you want to hold another persons baby,and from the child’s point of view,why would they want to be jostand passed around.
Wait - is it socially unacceptable to refuse to hold other people's babies? Or to want to hold them? Personally, I don't want to hold anyone's babies. It was bad enough when mine would throw up, pee or poo on me. So glad when they had grown up.
My reason is I don't want to hold a baby. When my own would throw up, pee or poo all over me was bad enough.....
Me whenever someone trys to hand me a baby: "Ewwww....go away !". Me whenever there a puppy close by: "Who's the good boy ? Who's the good boy ?" (as they slobber on my face).
I am actually afraid to and I'll say as much. I break things. Even things that seem impossible to break, like a wrench for example. Things I can replace but not a baby that is so fragile!
more babies for me to hold. I wish someone would hand me a dang baby.
Ehh... COVID anyone? Someone hands me a baby I just put it down and head to the bathroom to wash my hands.
I don't want to touch or hold other babies than my own. And I don't like it the other way around, too: people who want to hold my babies or strangers who touch my kids. One day an old lady pushed back the stroller headboard of my sleeping infant because my daughter "needed air and light" and woke her up by touching her cheek. Surreal. Today, when parents want me to hold their newborn I just say: "No, thank you" and smile.
no...just no. I do not like babies. I only liked my own and even they were little assholes at times.
I want to quote the late great George Carlin who once said about babies and kids. „They’re goofy. They’re unfinished work. I never give credit to unfinished work.“
Even at 6/7 months pregnant I told my cousin that I didn't want to hold her baby, it has always scared me when they're tiny. My husband was like "you're going to have to learn at some point!" and clearly I did because I've just had my third, but still my default it to ask people if they want hold and I'm still surprised when they say yes!
I completely get this. Can’t have kids because of medical problems but it’s a hugely insensitive thing to have a baby thrust at you and “oh you’d make such a lovely mum”. As it happens, I have an incredibly thick skin and tend to brush this off as unintentional. Still hurts a bit but I can cope. It’s different if they’re kids I’ve been involved with because I know their parents extremely well. I’m obviously not doing too badly because I’m a godmother 5x and I’m guardian to all of them if anything happens to mum and dad.
I always go ..."aww wat a fragile cutie pie, I just don't want to distrub it" make very awkward run from there!! I m super scared of touching babies!!
I have two kids and I still feel uncomfortable holding other peoples babies. What if I drop the baby?! Don't put something so precious in my hands unless I'm sitting down surrounded by pillows, I can't replace your child.
I read the opposite in a recent article about European culture: that strangers will pick up your baby without asking
Is thay common? I have never been asked to do that, and rarely asked myself. Those asked is usually the ones that had given the baby longing stares and obv wanted to.
As an older woman I'm expected to want to hold babies and coo over them even if I'm not related to them. That's quite difficult for me, but I don't feel I can just say, "No thanks" when offered a cuddle.
I'm over 40, I think I've held a baby once in my whole life and that's only because they caught me off guard and suddenly handed them to me.
A thousand upvotes. I don't understand how parents even want others to hold their babies. I mean, I never allowed others unless I really really know them. And I myself do not want to hold others' babies. God forbid, but if they get the tiniest scratch, the parents might blame me. I like babies, I find them cute. But no, I will never hold others' babies
There wasn't a baby born into my family until I was almost 21. I don't know what the hell to do with a baby!
Um. I disagree. If someone doesn't want to hold someone else's baby, that's their right.
I literally do no want people to hold my babies. This goes both ways! Keep your dangerous germs to yourself 👍
I don’t mind holding babies and I’ll make the requisite cooing noises just to be polite but I’m not really bothered about it and would rather do something more interesting.
Well it's good for the baby not to change hands a lot of times... so basically this is stupid!
I'm gonna drop the baby and end up kicking them in an attempt to save them dont hand me anything that has a life force
Personally I don't want people to hold my baby. Maybe when he's older, but not now, except close relatives. He's a premature, though.
Colleague of mine didnt even wat to hold his own baby. When the kid was born and handed to him, he said: "No thanks, Iam wearing a new shirt."
If it emerges from cringey casual hatred against children and babies then yes, you can f**k the right off, but if you have any other reason, just tell it and nobody won't care.
Turning down an invitation to go out simply because you’d rather stay home with your pets, save money, and preserve your mental health in glorious solitude.
Using swings/playground equipment as an adult. I friggin love going on the swings, I’m 30 and it still fascinates me that I can quickly and easily get 10-15 feet (or higher) in the air with some simple leg movement.
One day I was at a fairly deserted local park on the swings having the time of my life. Suddenly Karen shows up with her two ankle biters, hands on her hips and yells at me “WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THERE?! THE SWINGS ARE FOR THE KIDS, NOT ADULTS!”
My tax dollars paid for these swings, and there’s no sign saying that I can’t, so I’ll use them as much as I damn well please whenever I want. How much tax did little Johanathan and little Kymburleigh Pay last year? None? Guess they can’t use the swings either.
I too love the swings and will happily go on them when the playground isn't busy.
Not answering your own door. When there's like a salesman at someone's door, they won't want to answer but they will act like no one is home, and be really quiet so the person outside the door doesn't hear them. But it's your house. I could just stare at a salesman out the window as he rings my bell, who cares. It's my house. I don't have to answer my own door, for whatever reason I deem acceptable. You came to my house, not the other way around.
Have CCTV installed specifically so I could see who was at the door and avoid answering it if I didn't want to - get a lot of deliveries as I have my own business and need supplies. People with clipboards (one last week which surprised me as it was the first since covid) get ignored.
Leaving without giving an "acceptable" song and dance about why you are leaving, with leaving because you have basically reached your limit with socializing being "not a good enough reason"
People who can stand to be around other people for huge amounts of time, more power to you, but me? I can't do that, and I don't want to have to make up an excuse to do so.
Being open/honest about not having kids. In my personal life I have gotten more ridicule and very pointed questions bordering on disrespectful over being childfree than about any of my other opinions.
Once I said I wasn't having kids my family became obsessed with whether or not I was dating, and who, and oh, what if HE wants kids? What if I meet the "perfect" guy, but he wants kids? Well, then I guess he's not the perfect guy for me. Simple as that. I don't want kids, and no, I don't have to give you a detailed bullet list about why I'm not having kids because what I decide to do with my uterus is none of your business.
The only reason one should ideally need is "because I don't want any". That's my main reason, but for some reason, a lot of people just really want a lot of unwanted and unloved children in the world I guess...
I'm a grown man and I love flowers. Not even 'masculine' flowers, I have an orchid collection.
There is a sort of Orchid called Holy ghost or something like that. When bud is closed, looks like praying monks. When blooming it's resembles a dove of peace. Absolutely STUNNING!!!
waking up at 11am or later
i'm not lazy. my responsibilities are taken care of. i stay up late and value my sleep hours.
In some places, calling in sick, because it's "letting down the team" or whatever. Screw off, I'm sick as a dog. There's little I will accomplish other than feeling like death warmed up, so you aren't missing out on much. Plus I could spread whatever I've got to coworkers, then we're all sick
One of my former bosses fired someone on the spot for coming to work with a bad case of the flu after having told her that she needed to stay home. There was no reason for her to come to work, she would have gotten paid for as long as she was sick.
Wearing a surgical mask when you are sick to prevent giving the illness to others.
Men crying. It’s seen as a weakness typically rather than compassion.
Being single.
Some people are okay not being in a relationship for some time and are perfectly happy, but other people just don't understand that.
What I don't get is why couples choose not to hang out with their single friends anymore. They only do stuff with their couple friends and it's so frustrating
Not drinking alcohol around others who are drinking. People don’t like it
Thats actually a terrible social pressure. Especially for former alkoholics.
Being honest when asked “how are you”
Come to the Netherlands and ask someone that question. You'll get a thorough schooling on their mental, physical and financial situation. Which most of the times is summed up in the one word "kut" or the even more profound comment "tering kut".
Eating lunch alone in your car at work. It's quiet, comfortable, and I don't have to make small talk when I'm trying to have some 'me' time out of the office.
Napping at work during my lunch break. I don't really need food in the afternoon, what I really need is a nap!
Skipping as an adult. It's unfortunate because it is faster than walking and much more fun than running.
Stop thinking about what others may think. I'm a 44 years old, long hair undercut, full beard, tattoooed guy in heavy boots and I love puddle hopping, so i do.
40+ male at a playground
Yes I have no partner, yes that's my 6 year old kid having a blast
No I'm not a pedo but thank you for your questions and passive glares
Women not shaving.
Someone made a comment on here about some famous woman not shaving her armpits. I responded with 'So?' and asked why they considered it their business. No reply.
Wearing the same clothes 2 days in a row
Yes to this. We as a society have gone *way* over the top about things like this and it's doing the planet a huge disservice.
Cursing.
Seriously, how and why the f*ck did society decide that certain sounds will corrupt children?
Swearing also has degrees. The US really dislikes the c-word that Australians use with abandon! Swearing also has power - that's the point of it. If your three year old peppers conversation with f-bombs it loses its emphatic effect. Which is why we end up having to create new curse words, because the old ones aren't strong enough any more.
Apparently self defense isn’t allowed in schools. I guess I just have to accept the beating.
Having fun as an adult. Fun has no expiration date, you don't suddenly no longer qualify for fun and have to live a life of watching the news and drinking coffee. People shame adults for doing fun things and that's absolute nonsense
Not wanting to make small talk. Sometimes being alone in a public place is my only alone time.
I have to put on the show at work and talk to people ALL DAY LONG and if I just want to sit in a bar or cafe or on a bench by myself and stare at my phone I shouldn't be forced to exchange small talk with someone just because they happen to be in the vicinity of me.
Like currently, I'm having a really bad day and just want to go sit and have a drink and stare at cats or something because being in my house is making it worse, but I can't, because I'll be forced to chit chat with someone near me.
Weird idea: Say "I had a very stressful day and need some quite time alone now, please." It is surprising how often that works.
Showing distaste for ones family in any way, shape, or form
Not hiding your tampon when you go to the restroom
I don't. I'm a woman, I bleed. Thinking that something is socially unacceptable is not a one way road. I think it's socially unacceptable to find this socially unacceptable.
Going to the movies alone.
Pre-pandemic I would go to the movies alone all the time. It's nice. Nobody jabbering away at you so much you can't hear the movie.
Being the first person to get up from your chair when snacks are brought into a meeting room. There's always that one hero that does it though so others can get in line.
Walking your cat.
That's not socially unacceptable. I have the highest respect for people who walk their cats instead of kicking them out the door when they leave for work so the cat has to roam the neighborhood and pee and poop in other peoples gardens.
Refusing generosity. It's perfect alright to politely decline, even though others would vilify you for being ungrateful and cold.
Sometimes one should allow others to experience the act of giving. It makes me uncomfortable to be a recipient, but people need that sometimes.
My dad gets SUPER offended when I put my elbows on the table. I still dont know why.
I don't know, I guess I was raised with this as table etiquette? I suppose it's one of those things which has just come through history. Any pandas here know?
There are a ton of rules around clothing that are completely arbitrary nonsense. And I don’t even just mean workplace dress codes and gendered clothing that are obvious bullsh*t. Even in casual situations, jeans and a flannel shirt are normal, but if you wore plaid flannel pajama pants and a denim shirt, you would look psychotic.
Clothing rules are used as a proxy to see at a glance how good you are at conforming to the rules of society.
Ladies can call their friends her "girlfriends," but a man, absolutely not, cannot call his friends his "boyfriends." That's not fair.
hats indoors. No one has given me a valid reason why I need to tell students to take their hats off.
Running everywhere instead of walking.
But you are more likely to collide with someone if running rather than walking, so I wouldn't say that there's no reason for this to be socially unacceptable. It's also very impractical since most of us don't want to run everywhere and thus it'll be hard for those who do want to run to get around us safely.
Note: this post originally had 52 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
A lot of these are not something that society disapproves of. Stems mainly from our own limitations and perceptions.
Yes. Many of these seem to confuse social norms with social embarrassment due to low self-esteem. I would not have trouble doing most of these, assuming it would not bother others too much.
Load More Replies...Birthdays - or rather the lack of interest in one. I never understood this silly notion of this personal holiday. I don't do anything special on it and it always bothers people : "What? You're not doing anything special?" "Come on you have to do something" "why don't you come with us, we'll throw you a party" No thanks. I'm not embarrassed to ask, I'm not shy I just don't like this stupid thing and would rather just stay at home. Why is that a thing?
"The best birthday present you can give me is some peace and quiet. Don't even worry about wrapping it. Just go away."
Load More Replies...Why are these things not acceptable? I love playing in parks, and sending my man flowers and time to myself. And why cant a man cry? They too have feelings and need to sometimes Express them. I think if you're comfortable with something, then do it. Who cares what others think.
Totally. I think this comes with age anyway as people re-evaluate their lives and everntually realise they can do what they want if it's not harming anyone. Shame it often takes that to change how we act.
Load More Replies...Being a cat lover seems to trigger a lot of people. I'm introverted, goofy, adore my cat, and am a woman. If that makes me a "crazy cat lady", I accept.
I only wish I had multiple cats. I can do fine without a 'boyfriend'. It's cats I would love to have more of.
Load More Replies...When my phone rings, I usually don't answer it. Mostly I don't even have it on. I just get my messages later. Some people get upset that I'm not totally accessible to them all the time, but it's my life and I don't want to be a slave to my phone.
This is really cool and all, but I'm a pushover and whenever someone tells me not to do something I dont do it. Even if I'm passionate about it. I've been told writing books is stupid and now I keep procrastinating my books because I'm a pig pushover and writing books is a stupid little kid thing to do
A lot of these are applicable in different countries, and let's not exclude the size of the community you live in. Sure, if you live in a large city, the "norm" is very diluted and people tend to just not care what you do. But in smaller communities, everything stands out. You get old people shake their heads going ts-ts when you wear looser clothes. You get mocked that you are a virgin when you are 15 by your peers. I had a case (as a kid, maybe 9-10 years old), i was playing with my mom and sister in our room, ehen my grandma rushed in, and told us to "Stop laughing, or your grandfather will come!". Apparently laughter and noise in general were frowned upon in their generation's view. So, you do you. If someone doesn't like it, well...they can look the other way.
Here's an idea! Let's all just do what brings us joy and makes us comfortable. If that means setting boundaries with others, do that, albeit kindly. Once others start to see that these things *are* perfectly acceptable, they'll be relieved and start doing them too.
Being a girl walking alone at night. People think I'm crazy for doing it. I am careful, I live in a good area, what's the problem?
#41 Asking me a question when I have food in my mouth, then getting annoyed that I won't immediately answer you.
Being barefoot. Even in the cold I prefer to be barefoot - outside in the grass, whatever. I am constantly called a hillbilly. No, I just prefer to be barefoot, thanks.
I do not want to hold your baby because I will likely drop it by accident. Babies mildly scare me
I love this post because apparently I do many unacceptable things, which in turn makes me feel even more unique. Kudos! 💜
This was another topic where several times I thought of a comment or example while I was reading, then found my exact same thought in the comments. Sort of makes you feel a)unnecessary, and/or b)in touch with the world!
A lot of these are not something that society disapproves of. Stems mainly from our own limitations and perceptions.
Yes. Many of these seem to confuse social norms with social embarrassment due to low self-esteem. I would not have trouble doing most of these, assuming it would not bother others too much.
Load More Replies...Birthdays - or rather the lack of interest in one. I never understood this silly notion of this personal holiday. I don't do anything special on it and it always bothers people : "What? You're not doing anything special?" "Come on you have to do something" "why don't you come with us, we'll throw you a party" No thanks. I'm not embarrassed to ask, I'm not shy I just don't like this stupid thing and would rather just stay at home. Why is that a thing?
"The best birthday present you can give me is some peace and quiet. Don't even worry about wrapping it. Just go away."
Load More Replies...Why are these things not acceptable? I love playing in parks, and sending my man flowers and time to myself. And why cant a man cry? They too have feelings and need to sometimes Express them. I think if you're comfortable with something, then do it. Who cares what others think.
Totally. I think this comes with age anyway as people re-evaluate their lives and everntually realise they can do what they want if it's not harming anyone. Shame it often takes that to change how we act.
Load More Replies...Being a cat lover seems to trigger a lot of people. I'm introverted, goofy, adore my cat, and am a woman. If that makes me a "crazy cat lady", I accept.
I only wish I had multiple cats. I can do fine without a 'boyfriend'. It's cats I would love to have more of.
Load More Replies...When my phone rings, I usually don't answer it. Mostly I don't even have it on. I just get my messages later. Some people get upset that I'm not totally accessible to them all the time, but it's my life and I don't want to be a slave to my phone.
This is really cool and all, but I'm a pushover and whenever someone tells me not to do something I dont do it. Even if I'm passionate about it. I've been told writing books is stupid and now I keep procrastinating my books because I'm a pig pushover and writing books is a stupid little kid thing to do
A lot of these are applicable in different countries, and let's not exclude the size of the community you live in. Sure, if you live in a large city, the "norm" is very diluted and people tend to just not care what you do. But in smaller communities, everything stands out. You get old people shake their heads going ts-ts when you wear looser clothes. You get mocked that you are a virgin when you are 15 by your peers. I had a case (as a kid, maybe 9-10 years old), i was playing with my mom and sister in our room, ehen my grandma rushed in, and told us to "Stop laughing, or your grandfather will come!". Apparently laughter and noise in general were frowned upon in their generation's view. So, you do you. If someone doesn't like it, well...they can look the other way.
Here's an idea! Let's all just do what brings us joy and makes us comfortable. If that means setting boundaries with others, do that, albeit kindly. Once others start to see that these things *are* perfectly acceptable, they'll be relieved and start doing them too.
Being a girl walking alone at night. People think I'm crazy for doing it. I am careful, I live in a good area, what's the problem?
#41 Asking me a question when I have food in my mouth, then getting annoyed that I won't immediately answer you.
Being barefoot. Even in the cold I prefer to be barefoot - outside in the grass, whatever. I am constantly called a hillbilly. No, I just prefer to be barefoot, thanks.
I do not want to hold your baby because I will likely drop it by accident. Babies mildly scare me
I love this post because apparently I do many unacceptable things, which in turn makes me feel even more unique. Kudos! 💜
This was another topic where several times I thought of a comment or example while I was reading, then found my exact same thought in the comments. Sort of makes you feel a)unnecessary, and/or b)in touch with the world!