When it comes to unwritten rules, there are plenty of grey areas between what behaviors people consider OK and not. Social norms differ between cultures; a certain act may receive sanctions or punishments within one group but be seen as normal within another. Plus, as society's understanding of norms changes over time, so too does its members' perception of deviance.
In an attempt to learn if this transformation can stall, Redditor u/sadboi017 asked other users: "What is considered socially unacceptable for no reason?" 34.9K upvotes and 21.3K comments later, I think it's safe to say that it can. Continue scrolling and check out some of the most popular answers.
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Turning down an invitation to go out simply because you’d rather stay home with your pets, save money, and preserve your mental health in glorious solitude.
Using swings/playground equipment as an adult. I friggin love going on the swings, I’m 30 and it still fascinates me that I can quickly and easily get 10-15 feet (or higher) in the air with some simple leg movement.
One day I was at a fairly deserted local park on the swings having the time of my life. Suddenly Karen shows up with her two ankle biters, hands on her hips and yells at me “WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THERE?! THE SWINGS ARE FOR THE KIDS, NOT ADULTS!”
My tax dollars paid for these swings, and there’s no sign saying that I can’t, so I’ll use them as much as I damn well please whenever I want. How much tax did little Johanathan and little Kymburleigh Pay last year? None? Guess they can’t use the swings either.
I too love the swings and will happily go on them when the playground isn't busy.
Not answering your own door. When there's like a salesman at someone's door, they won't want to answer but they will act like no one is home, and be really quiet so the person outside the door doesn't hear them. But it's your house. I could just stare at a salesman out the window as he rings my bell, who cares. It's my house. I don't have to answer my own door, for whatever reason I deem acceptable. You came to my house, not the other way around.
Have CCTV installed specifically so I could see who was at the door and avoid answering it if I didn't want to - get a lot of deliveries as I have my own business and need supplies. People with clipboards (one last week which surprised me as it was the first since covid) get ignored.
The point was, that you have to be quiet and fake not being home. Because everyone expects from you to answer the door, when yuo're home
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I work on Zoom a lot and can see people come to the door whilst I am in the middle of a meeting. I try to block them but some have even come to the window and signalled to me to open the door - they can see I am on a laptop and am clearly talking into it. One of the curses of home working is people assume you can drop everything and pay them attention.
I don't know why you got downvoted. It's a legit reason not to open the friggin' door when you are working.
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For some reason I love the idea of just standing in my doorway looking through the glass, deadpan expression, and a slow shake of the head "no" as the salesman walks away in defeat
We have a solid door that opens to a storm door without screens. We lock both doors. If he feels like it, hubby answers the solid door while naked and just stares without saying a word. The sales people always leave very fast.
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lol! BF and I were both home, knock on the door. Through the peephole I could see they were Mormons. I opened the door, and a young girl said "Hi! My name is blah-blah...". I said, "We're not interested.", and closed the door. BF said "That was COLD." I looked at the bookcase and said "How many copies of The Book of Mormon do you need!?" There were 3 on the shelf. For heavens sake, he's Presbyterian!
Yup 100%. Phone calls too. I don't care if I'm home, if I don't want to answer the door or your call I'm not going to and I'm not going to make up some bs reason why either.
I never answer to numbers I don't recognise.
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Through the living room window I could see that it was a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses coming up to the door, so I just yelled at the top of my lungs, “If it’s about Jesus, I’m not interested!” I’d had a hard week and I was NOT getting off the sofa.
over here they always come with a stupid question like "what do you think it's humanity's purpose in the world?" and I always answer in a short way leaving no opportunity for them to elaborate "none, have a good day"
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I recently had two guys show up at my house from a local church. I'm home alone, I'm not opening the door. I had my mask on and told them we had Covid. The placed a flyer in my gate and skedaddled! My husband was on his way home from work to the store and hurried up and turned around because he was wondering why two guys he did not recognize were at our door. Can't be too careful these days.
Yes! I am not required to answer the door in my own home, and I don't. If it's someone delivering court documents, I guess I'm just screwed. Not gonna subject myself to uncomfortable/potentially unsafe situations on the off chance that I might be served legal documents.
I deliver court documents. Answer the damn door. You don't want to go to jail for contempt just because "I don't open the door for strangers". I can't tell you how many times I have stood around, knowing someone was on the other side of the door, and that the instant I leave it's either going to cost them a lot in legal fees or other sanctions, but they just won't answer.
They really do that? I'm not judging you, you're doing your job but that just seems like a thing from old movies. Also sounds like a dangerous job. In here you would get court order via snail mail or to an electronic service if you have agreed to that. If it's a letter you either get it in your mailbox with return form and envelope or you'd fetch it from the nearest post office and sign it.
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My husband will catch thier eye and just shoo them away with a hand gesture
I have a big "No Soliciting" sticker on my door. Seems to work. If you're not pizza delivery or someone I've called to fix something, don't show up unannounced.
I do the same with answering phone calls, from unknown numbers. I agree that we are entitled to our privacy.
It's always a salesman or a person collecting signatures....never a surprise visit from a long-lost friend or someone inviting you to quick get dressed nice and to go to lunch.
what's so difficult to open the door and say "tahanks, not interested. Goodbye. Please do not contact me in the future"
I don't answer my door AT ALL unless I'm expecting someone (rare). I live in a 4 plex of townhouses. Every one else works (I'm disabled) and my apt is at the end of the row. If anyone is knocking that I'm not expecting, sorry. My personal safety is more important than any phone/cable/magazine subscription you might be selling.
Is it a proselytizer? JW or Mormon or just some evangelical? Get out the boiling oil!
Last neighbourhood I lived in - it was autumn of 2008 I think. Sunday evening, 8pm. Somebody rings my doorbell. I ignore it. Rings again. I ignore it. Knocks. Knocks again. Knocks a third time. I ignore it. Starts rhythmically knocking hard on the door. So I go open the curtain to see who it is. Guy in a shirt and tie turns to face me, looks straight at me and taps his finger on his clipboard. I shake my head and say "No.". He looks me straight in the eye and knocks hard three times on my front door. I leave the window, then come back to the window. I hold my biggest steak knife up to the window. He looks at it for a second, then leaves in a hurry. Tl;dr - Salesman won't leave until I show him my knife.
Just go to the front window and stare at them until they leave, no blinking or anything.
or when they ignore the "No Soliciting" sign. I actually had one guy tell me, after I pointed at the sign, that he ignored those signs as they were usually used by people who didn't know how to say no. I just rubbed my hands in anticipation at how fun it was going to be to go full mental on this guy now. Ignore my sign and I get to ignore civility.
yeap... if I'm not waiting for something/someone I'm not answering or might be very direct like "not interested have a good day"... same on the phone, you will not take my time if I need something I'll go buy it, don't call me
I live "in the country." My driveway is .1 mile long. Someone has to make an effort to come to my door. I do not have curtains (why bother?). I have dogs that bark like crazy when someone drives up. I stare out my windows until the uninvited person leaves. I don't give a crap what anyone thinks. Don't just show up and expect me to be happy to see you. I won't be happy to see you if you make an appointment, either.
I got into an argument with a salesman as to why I didn't want to switch my pest control service (which I have had for years and love) to his company. "I think it's dumb that you don't want to save money." Dear man, it is my money, to do with as I please. So now I just don't answer the door anymore. And the original post above sums it up nicely. You may think you need me, but I know I don't need you, therefore I will do nothing. Go away.
i have a “No Soliciting” sign on my door literally below my Ring. So they can stare are the door but I ain’t answering.
Other than fast food deliveries no one rung my doorbell since March 2020, lol.
Haha thats what i do. I don't care if you can hear me. I do it to landlords who don't have an appointment too. What are you doing here? Go away!
I did this once, when i was sick and just pissed off because my nose hated me. The salesman knocked, asked if anyone is home. I opened the window by the front door (it was closer to me) and said no, thanks.
Agree! Why should I be quiet? You popped up with NO notice. People must call me first if you want to stop by. I don't care if I don't have plans...I planned to not have plans! Lastly, if you don't have my number to call then that sums up my expectations. 😒
the eagle scouts selling their popcorn and girl scouts selling cookies r they only ppl ill answer the door for. my husband was an eagle scout and i was a girl scout plus the popcorn and cookies r yummy
My doorbell is off 100% of all times. I know when somebody is going to visit me - others: call before falling into my home. I don’t want spontaneous visits because I have s**t to do. Enjoy being alone, for example.
Leaving without giving an "acceptable" song and dance about why you are leaving, with leaving because you have basically reached your limit with socializing being "not a good enough reason"
People who can stand to be around other people for huge amounts of time, more power to you, but me? I can't do that, and I don't want to have to make up an excuse to do so.
Being open/honest about not having kids. In my personal life I have gotten more ridicule and very pointed questions bordering on disrespectful over being childfree than about any of my other opinions.
Once I said I wasn't having kids my family became obsessed with whether or not I was dating, and who, and oh, what if HE wants kids? What if I meet the "perfect" guy, but he wants kids? Well, then I guess he's not the perfect guy for me. Simple as that. I don't want kids, and no, I don't have to give you a detailed bullet list about why I'm not having kids because what I decide to do with my uterus is none of your business.
The only reason one should ideally need is "because I don't want any". That's my main reason, but for some reason, a lot of people just really want a lot of unwanted and unloved children in the world I guess...
I'm a grown man and I love flowers. Not even 'masculine' flowers, I have an orchid collection.
There is a sort of Orchid called Holy ghost or something like that. When bud is closed, looks like praying monks. When blooming it's resembles a dove of peace. Absolutely STUNNING!!!
waking up at 11am or later
i'm not lazy. my responsibilities are taken care of. i stay up late and value my sleep hours.
In some places, calling in sick, because it's "letting down the team" or whatever. Screw off, I'm sick as a dog. There's little I will accomplish other than feeling like death warmed up, so you aren't missing out on much. Plus I could spread whatever I've got to coworkers, then we're all sick
One of my former bosses fired someone on the spot for coming to work with a bad case of the flu after having told her that she needed to stay home. There was no reason for her to come to work, she would have gotten paid for as long as she was sick.
Wearing a surgical mask when you are sick to prevent giving the illness to others.
Men crying. It’s seen as a weakness typically rather than compassion.
Being single.
Some people are okay not being in a relationship for some time and are perfectly happy, but other people just don't understand that.
What I don't get is why couples choose not to hang out with their single friends anymore. They only do stuff with their couple friends and it's so frustrating
Not drinking alcohol around others who are drinking. People don’t like it
Thats actually a terrible social pressure. Especially for former alkoholics.
Being honest when asked “how are you”
Come to the Netherlands and ask someone that question. You'll get a thorough schooling on their mental, physical and financial situation. Which most of the times is summed up in the one word "kut" or the even more profound comment "tering kut".
Eating lunch alone in your car at work. It's quiet, comfortable, and I don't have to make small talk when I'm trying to have some 'me' time out of the office.
Napping at work during my lunch break. I don't really need food in the afternoon, what I really need is a nap!
Skipping as an adult. It's unfortunate because it is faster than walking and much more fun than running.
Stop thinking about what others may think. I'm a 44 years old, long hair undercut, full beard, tattoooed guy in heavy boots and I love puddle hopping, so i do.
40+ male at a playground
Yes I have no partner, yes that's my 6 year old kid having a blast
No I'm not a pedo but thank you for your questions and passive glares
Women not shaving.
Someone made a comment on here about some famous woman not shaving her armpits. I responded with 'So?' and asked why they considered it their business. No reply.
Wearing the same clothes 2 days in a row
Yes to this. We as a society have gone *way* over the top about things like this and it's doing the planet a huge disservice.
Cursing.
Seriously, how and why the f*ck did society decide that certain sounds will corrupt children?
Swearing also has degrees. The US really dislikes the c-word that Australians use with abandon! Swearing also has power - that's the point of it. If your three year old peppers conversation with f-bombs it loses its emphatic effect. Which is why we end up having to create new curse words, because the old ones aren't strong enough any more.
Apparently self defense isn’t allowed in schools. I guess I just have to accept the beating.
Having fun as an adult. Fun has no expiration date, you don't suddenly no longer qualify for fun and have to live a life of watching the news and drinking coffee. People shame adults for doing fun things and that's absolute nonsense
Not wanting to make small talk. Sometimes being alone in a public place is my only alone time.
I have to put on the show at work and talk to people ALL DAY LONG and if I just want to sit in a bar or cafe or on a bench by myself and stare at my phone I shouldn't be forced to exchange small talk with someone just because they happen to be in the vicinity of me.
Like currently, I'm having a really bad day and just want to go sit and have a drink and stare at cats or something because being in my house is making it worse, but I can't, because I'll be forced to chit chat with someone near me.
Weird idea: Say "I had a very stressful day and need some quite time alone now, please." It is surprising how often that works.
Showing distaste for ones family in any way, shape, or form
Not hiding your tampon when you go to the restroom
I don't. I'm a woman, I bleed. Thinking that something is socially unacceptable is not a one way road. I think it's socially unacceptable to find this socially unacceptable.
Going to the movies alone.
Pre-pandemic I would go to the movies alone all the time. It's nice. Nobody jabbering away at you so much you can't hear the movie.
Being the first person to get up from your chair when snacks are brought into a meeting room. There's always that one hero that does it though so others can get in line.
Walking your cat.
That's not socially unacceptable. I have the highest respect for people who walk their cats instead of kicking them out the door when they leave for work so the cat has to roam the neighborhood and pee and poop in other peoples gardens.
Refusing generosity. It's perfect alright to politely decline, even though others would vilify you for being ungrateful and cold.
Sometimes one should allow others to experience the act of giving. It makes me uncomfortable to be a recipient, but people need that sometimes.
My dad gets SUPER offended when I put my elbows on the table. I still dont know why.
I don't know, I guess I was raised with this as table etiquette? I suppose it's one of those things which has just come through history. Any pandas here know?
There are a ton of rules around clothing that are completely arbitrary nonsense. And I don’t even just mean workplace dress codes and gendered clothing that are obvious bullsh*t. Even in casual situations, jeans and a flannel shirt are normal, but if you wore plaid flannel pajama pants and a denim shirt, you would look psychotic.
Clothing rules are used as a proxy to see at a glance how good you are at conforming to the rules of society.
Ladies can call their friends her "girlfriends," but a man, absolutely not, cannot call his friends his "boyfriends." That's not fair.
hats indoors. No one has given me a valid reason why I need to tell students to take their hats off.
Running everywhere instead of walking.
But you are more likely to collide with someone if running rather than walking, so I wouldn't say that there's no reason for this to be socially unacceptable. It's also very impractical since most of us don't want to run everywhere and thus it'll be hard for those who do want to run to get around us safely.
Note: this post originally had 52 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
A lot of these are not something that society disapproves of. Stems mainly from our own limitations and perceptions.
Yes. Many of these seem to confuse social norms with social embarrassment due to low self-esteem. I would not have trouble doing most of these, assuming it would not bother others too much.
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Birthdays - or rather the lack of interest in one. I never understood this silly notion of this personal holiday. I don't do anything special on it and it always bothers people : "What? You're not doing anything special?" "Come on you have to do something" "why don't you come with us, we'll throw you a party" No thanks. I'm not embarrassed to ask, I'm not shy I just don't like this stupid thing and would rather just stay at home. Why is that a thing?
"The best birthday present you can give me is some peace and quiet. Don't even worry about wrapping it. Just go away."
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Why are these things not acceptable? I love playing in parks, and sending my man flowers and time to myself. And why cant a man cry? They too have feelings and need to sometimes Express them. I think if you're comfortable with something, then do it. Who cares what others think.
Totally. I think this comes with age anyway as people re-evaluate their lives and everntually realise they can do what they want if it's not harming anyone. Shame it often takes that to change how we act.
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Being a cat lover seems to trigger a lot of people. I'm introverted, goofy, adore my cat, and am a woman. If that makes me a "crazy cat lady", I accept.
I only wish I had multiple cats. I can do fine without a 'boyfriend'. It's cats I would love to have more of.
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When my phone rings, I usually don't answer it. Mostly I don't even have it on. I just get my messages later. Some people get upset that I'm not totally accessible to them all the time, but it's my life and I don't want to be a slave to my phone.
This is really cool and all, but I'm a pushover and whenever someone tells me not to do something I dont do it. Even if I'm passionate about it. I've been told writing books is stupid and now I keep procrastinating my books because I'm a pig pushover and writing books is a stupid little kid thing to do
A lot of these are applicable in different countries, and let's not exclude the size of the community you live in. Sure, if you live in a large city, the "norm" is very diluted and people tend to just not care what you do. But in smaller communities, everything stands out. You get old people shake their heads going ts-ts when you wear looser clothes. You get mocked that you are a virgin when you are 15 by your peers. I had a case (as a kid, maybe 9-10 years old), i was playing with my mom and sister in our room, ehen my grandma rushed in, and told us to "Stop laughing, or your grandfather will come!". Apparently laughter and noise in general were frowned upon in their generation's view. So, you do you. If someone doesn't like it, well...they can look the other way.
Here's an idea! Let's all just do what brings us joy and makes us comfortable. If that means setting boundaries with others, do that, albeit kindly. Once others start to see that these things *are* perfectly acceptable, they'll be relieved and start doing them too.
Being a girl walking alone at night. People think I'm crazy for doing it. I am careful, I live in a good area, what's the problem?
#41 Asking me a question when I have food in my mouth, then getting annoyed that I won't immediately answer you.
Being barefoot. Even in the cold I prefer to be barefoot - outside in the grass, whatever. I am constantly called a hillbilly. No, I just prefer to be barefoot, thanks.
I do not want to hold your baby because I will likely drop it by accident. Babies mildly scare me
I love this post because apparently I do many unacceptable things, which in turn makes me feel even more unique. Kudos! 💜
This was another topic where several times I thought of a comment or example while I was reading, then found my exact same thought in the comments. Sort of makes you feel a)unnecessary, and/or b)in touch with the world!
A lot of these are not something that society disapproves of. Stems mainly from our own limitations and perceptions.
Yes. Many of these seem to confuse social norms with social embarrassment due to low self-esteem. I would not have trouble doing most of these, assuming it would not bother others too much.
Load More Replies... Birthdays - or rather the lack of interest in one. I never understood this silly notion of this personal holiday. I don't do anything special on it and it always bothers people : "What? You're not doing anything special?" "Come on you have to do something" "why don't you come with us, we'll throw you a party" No thanks. I'm not embarrassed to ask, I'm not shy I just don't like this stupid thing and would rather just stay at home. Why is that a thing?
"The best birthday present you can give me is some peace and quiet. Don't even worry about wrapping it. Just go away."
Load More Replies... Why are these things not acceptable? I love playing in parks, and sending my man flowers and time to myself. And why cant a man cry? They too have feelings and need to sometimes Express them. I think if you're comfortable with something, then do it. Who cares what others think.
Totally. I think this comes with age anyway as people re-evaluate their lives and everntually realise they can do what they want if it's not harming anyone. Shame it often takes that to change how we act.
Load More Replies... Being a cat lover seems to trigger a lot of people. I'm introverted, goofy, adore my cat, and am a woman. If that makes me a "crazy cat lady", I accept.
I only wish I had multiple cats. I can do fine without a 'boyfriend'. It's cats I would love to have more of.
Load More Replies... When my phone rings, I usually don't answer it. Mostly I don't even have it on. I just get my messages later. Some people get upset that I'm not totally accessible to them all the time, but it's my life and I don't want to be a slave to my phone.
This is really cool and all, but I'm a pushover and whenever someone tells me not to do something I dont do it. Even if I'm passionate about it. I've been told writing books is stupid and now I keep procrastinating my books because I'm a pig pushover and writing books is a stupid little kid thing to do
A lot of these are applicable in different countries, and let's not exclude the size of the community you live in. Sure, if you live in a large city, the "norm" is very diluted and people tend to just not care what you do. But in smaller communities, everything stands out. You get old people shake their heads going ts-ts when you wear looser clothes. You get mocked that you are a virgin when you are 15 by your peers. I had a case (as a kid, maybe 9-10 years old), i was playing with my mom and sister in our room, ehen my grandma rushed in, and told us to "Stop laughing, or your grandfather will come!". Apparently laughter and noise in general were frowned upon in their generation's view. So, you do you. If someone doesn't like it, well...they can look the other way.
Here's an idea! Let's all just do what brings us joy and makes us comfortable. If that means setting boundaries with others, do that, albeit kindly. Once others start to see that these things *are* perfectly acceptable, they'll be relieved and start doing them too.
Being a girl walking alone at night. People think I'm crazy for doing it. I am careful, I live in a good area, what's the problem?
#41 Asking me a question when I have food in my mouth, then getting annoyed that I won't immediately answer you.
Being barefoot. Even in the cold I prefer to be barefoot - outside in the grass, whatever. I am constantly called a hillbilly. No, I just prefer to be barefoot, thanks.
I do not want to hold your baby because I will likely drop it by accident. Babies mildly scare me
I love this post because apparently I do many unacceptable things, which in turn makes me feel even more unique. Kudos! 💜
This was another topic where several times I thought of a comment or example while I was reading, then found my exact same thought in the comments. Sort of makes you feel a)unnecessary, and/or b)in touch with the world!
