When it comes to unwritten rules, there are plenty of grey areas between what behaviors people consider OK and not. Social norms differ between cultures; a certain act may receive sanctions or punishments within one group but be seen as normal within another. Plus, as society's understanding of norms changes over time, so too does its members' perception of deviance.
In an attempt to learn if this transformation can stall, Redditor u/sadboi017 asked other users: "What is considered socially unacceptable for no reason?" 34.9K upvotes and 21.3K comments later, I think it's safe to say that it can. Continue scrolling and check out some of the most popular answers.
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Turning down an invitation to go out simply because you’d rather stay home with your pets, save money, and preserve your mental health in glorious solitude.
Using swings/playground equipment as an adult. I friggin love going on the swings, I’m 30 and it still fascinates me that I can quickly and easily get 10-15 feet (or higher) in the air with some simple leg movement.
One day I was at a fairly deserted local park on the swings having the time of my life. Suddenly Karen shows up with her two ankle biters, hands on her hips and yells at me “WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THERE?! THE SWINGS ARE FOR THE KIDS, NOT ADULTS!”
My tax dollars paid for these swings, and there’s no sign saying that I can’t, so I’ll use them as much as I damn well please whenever I want. How much tax did little Johanathan and little Kymburleigh Pay last year? None? Guess they can’t use the swings either.
I too love the swings and will happily go on them when the playground isn't busy.
Not answering your own door. When there's like a salesman at someone's door, they won't want to answer but they will act like no one is home, and be really quiet so the person outside the door doesn't hear them. But it's your house. I could just stare at a salesman out the window as he rings my bell, who cares. It's my house. I don't have to answer my own door, for whatever reason I deem acceptable. You came to my house, not the other way around.
Have CCTV installed specifically so I could see who was at the door and avoid answering it if I didn't want to - get a lot of deliveries as I have my own business and need supplies. People with clipboards (one last week which surprised me as it was the first since covid) get ignored.
Leaving without giving an "acceptable" song and dance about why you are leaving, with leaving because you have basically reached your limit with socializing being "not a good enough reason"
People who can stand to be around other people for huge amounts of time, more power to you, but me? I can't do that, and I don't want to have to make up an excuse to do so.
Being open/honest about not having kids. In my personal life I have gotten more ridicule and very pointed questions bordering on disrespectful over being childfree than about any of my other opinions.
Once I said I wasn't having kids my family became obsessed with whether or not I was dating, and who, and oh, what if HE wants kids? What if I meet the "perfect" guy, but he wants kids? Well, then I guess he's not the perfect guy for me. Simple as that. I don't want kids, and no, I don't have to give you a detailed bullet list about why I'm not having kids because what I decide to do with my uterus is none of your business.
The only reason one should ideally need is "because I don't want any". That's my main reason, but for some reason, a lot of people just really want a lot of unwanted and unloved children in the world I guess...
I'm a grown man and I love flowers. Not even 'masculine' flowers, I have an orchid collection.
There is a sort of Orchid called Holy ghost or something like that. When bud is closed, looks like praying monks. When blooming it's resembles a dove of peace. Absolutely STUNNING!!!
waking up at 11am or later
i'm not lazy. my responsibilities are taken care of. i stay up late and value my sleep hours.
In some places, calling in sick, because it's "letting down the team" or whatever. Screw off, I'm sick as a dog. There's little I will accomplish other than feeling like death warmed up, so you aren't missing out on much. Plus I could spread whatever I've got to coworkers, then we're all sick
One of my former bosses fired someone on the spot for coming to work with a bad case of the flu after having told her that she needed to stay home. There was no reason for her to come to work, she would have gotten paid for as long as she was sick.
Wearing a surgical mask when you are sick to prevent giving the illness to others.
Men crying. It’s seen as a weakness typically rather than compassion.
Being single.
Some people are okay not being in a relationship for some time and are perfectly happy, but other people just don't understand that.
What I don't get is why couples choose not to hang out with their single friends anymore. They only do stuff with their couple friends and it's so frustrating
Not drinking alcohol around others who are drinking. People don’t like it
Thats actually a terrible social pressure. Especially for former alkoholics.
Being honest when asked “how are you”
Come to the Netherlands and ask someone that question. You'll get a thorough schooling on their mental, physical and financial situation. Which most of the times is summed up in the one word "kut" or the even more profound comment "tering kut".
Eating lunch alone in your car at work. It's quiet, comfortable, and I don't have to make small talk when I'm trying to have some 'me' time out of the office.
Napping at work during my lunch break. I don't really need food in the afternoon, what I really need is a nap!
Skipping as an adult. It's unfortunate because it is faster than walking and much more fun than running.
Stop thinking about what others may think. I'm a 44 years old, long hair undercut, full beard, tattoooed guy in heavy boots and I love puddle hopping, so i do.
40+ male at a playground
Yes I have no partner, yes that's my 6 year old kid having a blast
No I'm not a pedo but thank you for your questions and passive glares
Women not shaving.
Someone made a comment on here about some famous woman not shaving her armpits. I responded with 'So?' and asked why they considered it their business. No reply.
Wearing the same clothes 2 days in a row
Yes to this. We as a society have gone *way* over the top about things like this and it's doing the planet a huge disservice.
Cursing.
Seriously, how and why the f*ck did society decide that certain sounds will corrupt children?
Swearing also has degrees. The US really dislikes the c-word that Australians use with abandon! Swearing also has power - that's the point of it. If your three year old peppers conversation with f-bombs it loses its emphatic effect. Which is why we end up having to create new curse words, because the old ones aren't strong enough any more.
Apparently self defense isn’t allowed in schools. I guess I just have to accept the beating.
Most schools (in the US) have a zero tolerance policy regarding fights. If you try to defend yourself from a bully taking swings at you you will get the same punishment they do, minimum detention maximum expulsion. Oh and some schools will get police involved which could mean jailtime too
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Public schools rules: if you're involved in a fight, even if you didn't throw a punch/were only being beaten up, you will be suspended for 10 days. I was told, by my mom, since that was the case, hit back
Exactly. If you are going to get suspended anyway you might as well make it worth your while. These sort of rules are so counterproductive.
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Self defense,basic social skills around the house, and sex education should be a standard in all schools!!!! Meanwhile we learn super advanced math that we are never going to use in life unless we follow a very specific career
Teaching kids/teens advanced math, forcing them to read certain "classic" works of literature, etc. are just methods of control. School (at least in many places) is more about building perfect little obedient workers, not stimulating intellectual growth or nurturing creativity, logic, or critical thinking.
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My son has high functioning autism and Tourette's. Talk about being bullied. Because of kids not being taught to be curious and not judge. He was targeted a lot. We put him in Martial arts so he could defend himself. Because some kids don't know how to keep their hands to themselves. Sure enough he had to defend himself after having his head slammed into the school bus window. School wanted to suspend him. Big mistake, I will always defend him when it comes to his personal safety and defending it.
I got a 3 day suspension for finally retaliating on being bullied for years. My mom was more pissed off at the school than me. But she still gave me a days worth of chores to do, saying I'm not just staying home watching tv all day. I thought she was super mad at me. I didn't know the snowball was made of ice. I was bullied for years at that school, being pushed over chairs, punched, kicked, taunted. No one else was ever punished for that.
It's effing lazy on the part of the schools. They should investigate these matters properly and get to the bottom of what is going on. Other children see & will know. A short suspension can give people time to cool off but it shouldn't be viewed as the actual punishment. That should come once they know what took place. If they can't get to the bottom of it then they need to try harder and WATCH what is happening. People get pushed and pushed until of course they retaliate - sometimes worse than intended because it's gone beyond endurance. That it gets to that stage is terrible. Children need to feel that they can tell people when they are bullied. I never did, or felt I could and just struggled on my own, didn't even tell my parents. Sorry that you suffered with bullying - as a victim myself I'm probably not entirely rational on the subject. Oh, and suspension to me would have been a relief to be out of that environment!
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i always says to my kids. don't beat someone. but if you have to defend yourself beat the crap of the other one! you'll never get blamed from us for defending yourself
Yeah but the Bully doesnt get in trouble. Its you.
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I got suspended for a week for pushing a girl off of me who was punching me in the face. That was 20 years ago. Looks like nothing's changed.
Probably one thought up by the bullies' parents on the PTA...
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No. Defend yourself & take the punishment. Something bad is going to happen to you either way. If you’re gonna be hurt it’s much better to know that the other guy is hurting worse.
i used to not stand up for myself. then I got into one fight, and now I don´t stand there and take it, I give it to the bullies.
Never!! Remember, there is no such thing as a fair fight. Do ANYTHING you have to. I don't care if it is biting or gouging. Protect yourself and go for the nuts if you have to.
I was a fat, clumsy kid. Who bought a Tae-Kwon-Do tee-shirt at a bargain store. Bullying stopped immediately - even on the days I didn't wear it!
This! I have had this discussion with schoolteacher for years! Miss P.: I called you here because your daughter was fighting. Me: She wasn't fighting, this kid keeps attacking her, you are not doing anything about it, she was defending herself. Miss P.: We do not condone violence in this school. Me: She was not violent, she was defending herself. Miss P.: I can not condone her hitting anyone. Me: Our daughters will absolutely and always hit back when being attacked. We will encourage this behavior. Miss P.: ... (makes sour face) Me: Gives her a 'don't you dare call me out of work for something like this again' glare.
This happened to someone I know. She was physically assaulted by a jealous girl and fought back. She was suspended too. Parents had to get an attorney.
A boy can slap my ass when I’m in 4th grade but when I call him a shithead I get in trouble?
It's not that it's not allowed, they just treat you *exactly the same* as the bully who started it. I never cared, I took the punishment as well knowing they wouldn't bully me again.
I remember a talk my teacher gave to our class when I was in 3rd grade. One girl spoke up and claimed her dad told her to use her karate skills if someone was bothering her. The teacher told her not to do it.
Made my son in law mad one day. He told my 10 year old grandson that he can only hit back. I told him if he thinks somebody is about to hit him it's better to hit first and ask forgiveness later than stand there and take one for no good reason.
My son got expelled for defending himself, he finally had enough after years of constant bullying, and fought back, he took out half of the rugby team at school before 6 male teachers stopped him. This folks is what happens when schools don't do anything about the bullies. I ended up home schooling him.
I hear in some schools, no matter who started the fight, both kids will get in trouble.
My son once got a day suspension for having been beaten up (well, choked). The bully got more suspension but, seriously?
At my work, I you hit me, you get terminated. However, if I so much as raise my arm to block your blow, we both get terminated.
I KNOW OMFG ITS SO ANNOYING. Theres this one time a fat kid had me in a chokehold and one of my classmates ran up out of line (we were going in from recess) and just drop kicked him so i was saved. But then one of the teachers saw us and yelled at us for hurting this kid who was about to kill me. Ps the kid never even got in trouble and i hold a grudge against him to this too bad we went to different middle schools.
And, can I just say, screw that 'Tell the adults' routine. I tried that. The adult beat me, too. For being a weakling. (Thanks, Dad.) For me, the best defense was a good offense. Oh, and sprinting. Really good sprinter.
This really needs to change in the school system, like it’s decades late
THIS! Zero tolerance polices apply to the victim of the assault as much as the bully/violent youth. Defending oneself against the physical assault results in similar punishment that the abuser gets. ZERO tolerance. It’s utter BS.
Long story short: I had a teaching Brother come up to me in High School and he sucker punched me. When I got off the floor, I nearly beat the s**t out of him. I almost went to jail for assault. The teaching brother was only doling out discipline. Catholic Schools: The most byzantine org. in the world.
How strange. When I was at school, the blame would be on the person who started it - not the one who quite reasonably defended themselves.
Because in school if you were in the fight or had anything to do with it you can get in trouble
Become the bully yourself. Most "Anti bully" protocols mean that the victims aren't allowed to defend themselves and the bully gets a warning and very emphatic conversation about how hard their life must be. Rinse and repeat.
Having fun as an adult. Fun has no expiration date, you don't suddenly no longer qualify for fun and have to live a life of watching the news and drinking coffee. People shame adults for doing fun things and that's absolute nonsense
Not wanting to make small talk. Sometimes being alone in a public place is my only alone time.
I have to put on the show at work and talk to people ALL DAY LONG and if I just want to sit in a bar or cafe or on a bench by myself and stare at my phone I shouldn't be forced to exchange small talk with someone just because they happen to be in the vicinity of me.
Like currently, I'm having a really bad day and just want to go sit and have a drink and stare at cats or something because being in my house is making it worse, but I can't, because I'll be forced to chit chat with someone near me.
Weird idea: Say "I had a very stressful day and need some quite time alone now, please." It is surprising how often that works.
Showing distaste for ones family in any way, shape, or form
Not hiding your tampon when you go to the restroom
I don't. I'm a woman, I bleed. Thinking that something is socially unacceptable is not a one way road. I think it's socially unacceptable to find this socially unacceptable.
Going to the movies alone.
Pre-pandemic I would go to the movies alone all the time. It's nice. Nobody jabbering away at you so much you can't hear the movie.
Being the first person to get up from your chair when snacks are brought into a meeting room. There's always that one hero that does it though so others can get in line.
Walking your cat.
That's not socially unacceptable. I have the highest respect for people who walk their cats instead of kicking them out the door when they leave for work so the cat has to roam the neighborhood and pee and poop in other peoples gardens.
Refusing generosity. It's perfect alright to politely decline, even though others would vilify you for being ungrateful and cold.
Sometimes one should allow others to experience the act of giving. It makes me uncomfortable to be a recipient, but people need that sometimes.
My dad gets SUPER offended when I put my elbows on the table. I still dont know why.
I don't know, I guess I was raised with this as table etiquette? I suppose it's one of those things which has just come through history. Any pandas here know?
There are a ton of rules around clothing that are completely arbitrary nonsense. And I don’t even just mean workplace dress codes and gendered clothing that are obvious bullsh*t. Even in casual situations, jeans and a flannel shirt are normal, but if you wore plaid flannel pajama pants and a denim shirt, you would look psychotic.
Clothing rules are used as a proxy to see at a glance how good you are at conforming to the rules of society.
Ladies can call their friends her "girlfriends," but a man, absolutely not, cannot call his friends his "boyfriends." That's not fair.
hats indoors. No one has given me a valid reason why I need to tell students to take their hats off.
Running everywhere instead of walking.
But you are more likely to collide with someone if running rather than walking, so I wouldn't say that there's no reason for this to be socially unacceptable. It's also very impractical since most of us don't want to run everywhere and thus it'll be hard for those who do want to run to get around us safely.
Note: this post originally had 52 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
A lot of these are not something that society disapproves of. Stems mainly from our own limitations and perceptions.
Yes. Many of these seem to confuse social norms with social embarrassment due to low self-esteem. I would not have trouble doing most of these, assuming it would not bother others too much.
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Birthdays - or rather the lack of interest in one. I never understood this silly notion of this personal holiday. I don't do anything special on it and it always bothers people : "What? You're not doing anything special?" "Come on you have to do something" "why don't you come with us, we'll throw you a party" No thanks. I'm not embarrassed to ask, I'm not shy I just don't like this stupid thing and would rather just stay at home. Why is that a thing?
"The best birthday present you can give me is some peace and quiet. Don't even worry about wrapping it. Just go away."
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Why are these things not acceptable? I love playing in parks, and sending my man flowers and time to myself. And why cant a man cry? They too have feelings and need to sometimes Express them. I think if you're comfortable with something, then do it. Who cares what others think.
Totally. I think this comes with age anyway as people re-evaluate their lives and everntually realise they can do what they want if it's not harming anyone. Shame it often takes that to change how we act.
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Being a cat lover seems to trigger a lot of people. I'm introverted, goofy, adore my cat, and am a woman. If that makes me a "crazy cat lady", I accept.
I only wish I had multiple cats. I can do fine without a 'boyfriend'. It's cats I would love to have more of.
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When my phone rings, I usually don't answer it. Mostly I don't even have it on. I just get my messages later. Some people get upset that I'm not totally accessible to them all the time, but it's my life and I don't want to be a slave to my phone.
This is really cool and all, but I'm a pushover and whenever someone tells me not to do something I dont do it. Even if I'm passionate about it. I've been told writing books is stupid and now I keep procrastinating my books because I'm a pig pushover and writing books is a stupid little kid thing to do
A lot of these are applicable in different countries, and let's not exclude the size of the community you live in. Sure, if you live in a large city, the "norm" is very diluted and people tend to just not care what you do. But in smaller communities, everything stands out. You get old people shake their heads going ts-ts when you wear looser clothes. You get mocked that you are a virgin when you are 15 by your peers. I had a case (as a kid, maybe 9-10 years old), i was playing with my mom and sister in our room, ehen my grandma rushed in, and told us to "Stop laughing, or your grandfather will come!". Apparently laughter and noise in general were frowned upon in their generation's view. So, you do you. If someone doesn't like it, well...they can look the other way.
Here's an idea! Let's all just do what brings us joy and makes us comfortable. If that means setting boundaries with others, do that, albeit kindly. Once others start to see that these things *are* perfectly acceptable, they'll be relieved and start doing them too.
Being a girl walking alone at night. People think I'm crazy for doing it. I am careful, I live in a good area, what's the problem?
#41 Asking me a question when I have food in my mouth, then getting annoyed that I won't immediately answer you.
Being barefoot. Even in the cold I prefer to be barefoot - outside in the grass, whatever. I am constantly called a hillbilly. No, I just prefer to be barefoot, thanks.
I do not want to hold your baby because I will likely drop it by accident. Babies mildly scare me
I love this post because apparently I do many unacceptable things, which in turn makes me feel even more unique. Kudos! 💜
This was another topic where several times I thought of a comment or example while I was reading, then found my exact same thought in the comments. Sort of makes you feel a)unnecessary, and/or b)in touch with the world!
A lot of these are not something that society disapproves of. Stems mainly from our own limitations and perceptions.
Yes. Many of these seem to confuse social norms with social embarrassment due to low self-esteem. I would not have trouble doing most of these, assuming it would not bother others too much.
Load More Replies... Birthdays - or rather the lack of interest in one. I never understood this silly notion of this personal holiday. I don't do anything special on it and it always bothers people : "What? You're not doing anything special?" "Come on you have to do something" "why don't you come with us, we'll throw you a party" No thanks. I'm not embarrassed to ask, I'm not shy I just don't like this stupid thing and would rather just stay at home. Why is that a thing?
"The best birthday present you can give me is some peace and quiet. Don't even worry about wrapping it. Just go away."
Load More Replies... Why are these things not acceptable? I love playing in parks, and sending my man flowers and time to myself. And why cant a man cry? They too have feelings and need to sometimes Express them. I think if you're comfortable with something, then do it. Who cares what others think.
Totally. I think this comes with age anyway as people re-evaluate their lives and everntually realise they can do what they want if it's not harming anyone. Shame it often takes that to change how we act.
Load More Replies... Being a cat lover seems to trigger a lot of people. I'm introverted, goofy, adore my cat, and am a woman. If that makes me a "crazy cat lady", I accept.
I only wish I had multiple cats. I can do fine without a 'boyfriend'. It's cats I would love to have more of.
Load More Replies... When my phone rings, I usually don't answer it. Mostly I don't even have it on. I just get my messages later. Some people get upset that I'm not totally accessible to them all the time, but it's my life and I don't want to be a slave to my phone.
This is really cool and all, but I'm a pushover and whenever someone tells me not to do something I dont do it. Even if I'm passionate about it. I've been told writing books is stupid and now I keep procrastinating my books because I'm a pig pushover and writing books is a stupid little kid thing to do
A lot of these are applicable in different countries, and let's not exclude the size of the community you live in. Sure, if you live in a large city, the "norm" is very diluted and people tend to just not care what you do. But in smaller communities, everything stands out. You get old people shake their heads going ts-ts when you wear looser clothes. You get mocked that you are a virgin when you are 15 by your peers. I had a case (as a kid, maybe 9-10 years old), i was playing with my mom and sister in our room, ehen my grandma rushed in, and told us to "Stop laughing, or your grandfather will come!". Apparently laughter and noise in general were frowned upon in their generation's view. So, you do you. If someone doesn't like it, well...they can look the other way.
Here's an idea! Let's all just do what brings us joy and makes us comfortable. If that means setting boundaries with others, do that, albeit kindly. Once others start to see that these things *are* perfectly acceptable, they'll be relieved and start doing them too.
Being a girl walking alone at night. People think I'm crazy for doing it. I am careful, I live in a good area, what's the problem?
#41 Asking me a question when I have food in my mouth, then getting annoyed that I won't immediately answer you.
Being barefoot. Even in the cold I prefer to be barefoot - outside in the grass, whatever. I am constantly called a hillbilly. No, I just prefer to be barefoot, thanks.
I do not want to hold your baby because I will likely drop it by accident. Babies mildly scare me
I love this post because apparently I do many unacceptable things, which in turn makes me feel even more unique. Kudos! 💜
This was another topic where several times I thought of a comment or example while I was reading, then found my exact same thought in the comments. Sort of makes you feel a)unnecessary, and/or b)in touch with the world!
