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It takes a 10-sec glimpse at the LinkedIn page to realize how productive, successful, and virtually unstoppable the people on there are. They did it all—got major investment, took their company profits through the roof, made sure their employees feel like literally the most loved people on this planet, raised six kids, went bankrupt, and started life all over again.

But there’s something suspiciously woke and hyper-inspirational going on on this platform, and the Twitter page “The State of LinkedIn” is dedicated to exposing the not-so-pretty side of these posts.

“LinkedIn is a breeding ground for lies & brown-nosing. Exposing the worst. We are in no way associated with LinkedIn, so class us as a parody,” states their description and 174.4K followers couldn't agree more. So let’s see some of the screenshots right below!

#2

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Sum Guy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why it is now hard to believe any real heartwarming stories on the internet these days

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To find out more about The State Of LinkedIn, Bored Panda reached out to its creator @Brooke_Smedley, who, along with the co-creator @HarryBarnes1, has been working on the project roughly for three years now. “The State Of LinkedIn originally came as a spin-off from one of our other pages, @_DHOTYA, where we found the submissions surrounding LinkedIn-based scenarios.”

#3

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Pau Tea
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Basically all corporate world, using pompous words to bulls**t their way into high level positions...

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#4

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Sum Guy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow... see what I was saying earlier, the internet is just fiction now

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The authors then came up with the idea of creating its own page, then it took off from there. “The page is roughly about 2-3 years old and has always had a slow and gradual increase, we’ve never really had a massive influx of followers at once,” Brooke_Smedley said and added: “it seems a lot of people share a common interest in the strange posts that you can come across on LinkedIn.”

#5

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Two_rolling_black_eyes
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a job hunter, it actually helps. Haven't heard back from company x in 2'weeks and their HR suddenly checks your profile - need to follow up today with person who viewed.

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#6

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troux avatar
Troux
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This "non-executive director" is so proud of their new invention. We better not tell her...

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When asked what they think of the LinkedIn culture, Brooke said that “I don’t use LinkedIn, mainly because within my job I don’t really have a need to. However, I can understand how it can be important for some people within their working environments.”

#7

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Douglas Turner
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, I met that guy! I think he's still talking about himself. Or to himself. Something like that...

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“I think it’s changed from what it was originally designed to do and has turned more into an attempt of a business Facebook where people are more interested in likes and engagements as opposed to what it was created for,” the creator of The State Of LinkedIn explained.

“People seem to get a handful of likes and comments and realize they’ll attract more engagement by following that approach,” Brooke concluded. The Twitter creator duo also runs a few more super popular Twitter pages like @StateOfSelling, @_StateOfFB, @_StateOfTweets and @_DHOTYA (“Didn’t Happen of the Year Awards”.)

#10

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lisa-warndorff avatar
I want cake
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You what? So this prick assumes that his interns should be poor, and punishes them for not being poor? How the f*** does a boss have anything to say about an employee's personal belongings anyway? It's insane how many people confuse wealth with personal worth.

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#12

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Jan Jansen
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With a heart heavy as a stone he sat behind his mahogany desk engulfed in the warm yellowish light of his turn-of-the-century banker's lamps, while he read yet another publisher's e-mail rejecting his manuscript. Apparently his style of writing was deemed to be 'archaic' and 'over the top'.

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Troux
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How would you like to have your patience tested every day? Congratulations, you're just the kind of doormat we're looking for!

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James016
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You has no choice but to listen to her since she just ran you over

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#17

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a weird way of promoting your business, by comparing it to a deadly virus that devastated economies

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#20

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Sum Guy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You laugh but this is a pandemic... people out here even try to get their home appliances in pictures. They will have fancy toasters and coffee makers in places that don't make sense

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#21

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lisa-warndorff avatar
I want cake
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really, nunchucks? What kind B-grade movies has this guy been watching to think that any biker-looking guy will 'go berserk' in a random place because someone on the phone told him to?

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#22

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lisa-warndorff avatar
I want cake
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're not meetings, they're classes, you self-important beetle. And he's probably heard his parent say that on a daily basis so he trotted it out to impress them.

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#29

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JennyLaRue
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it was true, then the manager has just displayed that they have no concept of discretion or respecting things said to them in confidence.

pam_falcioni avatar
2WheelTravlr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jebus. If this is what we've come to as humans, let's just nuke everything and let the cockroaches see if they can do better.

dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Phobia: Everything. Coping: Opioides, Alcohol, Ether and every now and then, I just let someone smack a wooden hammer onto my head until I start laughing. And then, everybody clapped.

parkourkid303 avatar
Sad Panda
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are all of these written like sh*itty fifth grade descriptive writing paragraphs ',: |

graceandlucy avatar
Grace and Lucy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

needs a class action suit for violating the bounds of human intelligence

emvinny1969 avatar
readingthequibbler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay I have a question, so I'm 5ft with bad claustrophobia and anxiety. Trying to answer emails isn't going to help me, or reminding myself why I'm freaking out. I can use my phone, but I need a distraction. Something that's gonna make me forget. I don't know if its just me but reminding myself of what's bothering me isn't going to help. Am I the only person who does that or do others do it too? I am just wondering

ifsothenwhat avatar
IFXO
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

good job for finding out about coping mechanisms just today

fluffyfricks avatar
WhatEvenIsLife
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's like when you want to get to the recipe but have to read the novel-length story of the blogger's reaction to the first signs of fall on their morning walk and how this recipe reminds them of the bounty of nature, except there is absolutely nothing you'd want to get to in this post. Do these people actually take themselves seriously?

vthart avatar
Viv Hart
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All you have to do, is make retching noises! See how they'll scatter!

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JLaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would a manager tell that story? It's not his to tell! I can imagine being in that situation on a train is horrible, but to fix it with LinkedIn is just ridiculous.

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#30

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Troux
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pro tip: Don't work for the guy that is dumbfounded by the concept of a sick day.

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#31

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Aaleyah _ aesthetic
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WELCOME BACK TO MARKETING 101!! TODAY WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST... DAVID KELLY!!! KNOWN FOR PENETRATING HIS CLIENTS!!!!!

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2WheelTravlr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I'd be "lost for words" if I had that mess emailed to me from an Exam Board member.

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#37

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, it's not 24, but it is WAY too much. There is absolutely no reason for so many screens, it does not help production at all. Unless you're a mall security guard, obviously.

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2WheelTravlr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, if you're in Sales and Management, pay attention to the fact that this supposed "professional" is apparently unable to hold even a debit card and can't comprehend that the reason the manager gave him the drinks for free is because the only other option was throwing them out.

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#43

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K Witmer
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel so bad for people that work at Starbucks it seems that's where all the really horrible people go to have an outburst.

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Oskar vanZandt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another workaholic who will most likely not have a pension to enjoy as he keels over from a heart attack in his late forties.

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#45

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Oskar vanZandt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, they look like gang members to me... especially that guy on the left wearing a pink button down under a pullover... S.U.S.P.I.C.I.O.U.S!

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#46

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Nat Hedley
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy's day might be more productive if he wasn't apparently taking 30 minutes to make a coffee then another 30 minutes to drink it.

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#47

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What do you mean “Not quite the weather to be washing a car (bright sunshine!)”? So Stupid only washes his car in the pouring rain?

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#49

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I want cake
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People with money seem to love making people without break down in public.

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#50

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James016
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ouch. Though that episode of Come Dine With Me pictured was a belter

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#54

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s. vitkovitsky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's another thought! Let's have it in the last car, and let's disconnect it from the rest of the train!

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#58

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s. vitkovitsky
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For sure this happened, and the unicorn flying by at the time will verify it.

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I want cake
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmm yeah because the watchmaker has no idea what he's looking at, what with his complete lack of knowledge of his craft.

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#61

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#64

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lisa-warndorff avatar
I want cake
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'Mr emotional intelligence' sees no problem making fun of a waitress who's trying to keep both him and her boss happy. Pat yourself on the back, mate.

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s. vitkovitsky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So stop admiring your imaginary trophies, and get out before the imaginary fire burns down your place.

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#66

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Oskar vanZandt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is the guy wearing personalised dog tags in case he gets lost and needs to be escorted back to the institution?

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#68

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Batwench
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have just checked and it is about approx 130 miles between the two and the car journey takes about 2.5 hours. This is still faster than doing a plane journey or depending on the train, the train journey time. So he may have a point. Especially if someone else is driving you in a fancy car.

#70

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Anna McHugh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If my death was used as part of a cold pitch on LinkedIn, I'd be extremely unhappy. TF I'm an atheist and don't believe in any kind of afterlife.

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#71

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IFXO
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

GUYS I HAVE A BMW 5 SERIES. i mean duh if you didn't know

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#73

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