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It takes a 10-sec glimpse at the LinkedIn page to realize how productive, successful, and virtually unstoppable the people on there are. They did it all—got major investment, took their company profits through the roof, made sure their employees feel like literally the most loved people on this planet, raised six kids, went bankrupt, and started life all over again.

But there’s something suspiciously woke and hyper-inspirational going on on this platform, and the Twitter page “The State of LinkedIn” is dedicated to exposing the not-so-pretty side of these posts.

“LinkedIn is a breeding ground for lies & brown-nosing. Exposing the worst. We are in no way associated with LinkedIn, so class us as a parody,” states their description and 174.4K followers couldn't agree more. So let’s see some of the screenshots right below!

#2

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wandiledludlu avatar
Sum Guy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why it is now hard to believe any real heartwarming stories on the internet these days

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To find out more about The State Of LinkedIn, Bored Panda reached out to its creator @Brooke_Smedley, who, along with the co-creator @HarryBarnes1, has been working on the project roughly for three years now. “The State Of LinkedIn originally came as a spin-off from one of our other pages, @_DHOTYA, where we found the submissions surrounding LinkedIn-based scenarios.”

#3

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Pau Tea
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Basically all corporate world, using pompous words to bulls**t their way into high level positions...

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#4

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wandiledludlu avatar
Sum Guy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow... see what I was saying earlier, the internet is just fiction now

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The authors then came up with the idea of creating its own page, then it took off from there. “The page is roughly about 2-3 years old and has always had a slow and gradual increase, we’ve never really had a massive influx of followers at once,” Brooke_Smedley said and added: “it seems a lot of people share a common interest in the strange posts that you can come across on LinkedIn.”

#5

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mikedelancey avatar
Two_rolling_black_eyes
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a job hunter, it actually helps. Haven't heard back from company x in 2'weeks and their HR suddenly checks your profile - need to follow up today with person who viewed.

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#6

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troux avatar
Troux
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This "non-executive director" is so proud of their new invention. We better not tell her...

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When asked what they think of the LinkedIn culture, Brooke said that “I don’t use LinkedIn, mainly because within my job I don’t really have a need to. However, I can understand how it can be important for some people within their working environments.”

#7

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Douglas Turner
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, I met that guy! I think he's still talking about himself. Or to himself. Something like that...

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“I think it’s changed from what it was originally designed to do and has turned more into an attempt of a business Facebook where people are more interested in likes and engagements as opposed to what it was created for,” the creator of The State Of LinkedIn explained.

“People seem to get a handful of likes and comments and realize they’ll attract more engagement by following that approach,” Brooke concluded. The Twitter creator duo also runs a few more super popular Twitter pages like @StateOfSelling, @_StateOfFB, @_StateOfTweets and @_DHOTYA (“Didn’t Happen of the Year Awards”.)

#10

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lisa-warndorff avatar
I want cake
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You what? So this prick assumes that his interns should be poor, and punishes them for not being poor? How the f*** does a boss have anything to say about an employee's personal belongings anyway? It's insane how many people confuse wealth with personal worth.

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#12

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Jan Jansen
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With a heart heavy as a stone he sat behind his mahogany desk engulfed in the warm yellowish light of his turn-of-the-century banker's lamps, while he read yet another publisher's e-mail rejecting his manuscript. Apparently his style of writing was deemed to be 'archaic' and 'over the top'.

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#14

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troux avatar
Troux
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How would you like to have your patience tested every day? Congratulations, you're just the kind of doormat we're looking for!

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#16

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James016
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You has no choice but to listen to her since she just ran you over

jflatt244 avatar
Watching
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That might be the dumbest thing I have ever read. I feel we are all a little bit dumber for having read it.

andreingram25 avatar
Andie Ingram
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You want sympathy, look in the dictionary between s**t and syphilis.

douglasturner avatar
Douglas Turner
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Not today"? I thought she was gonna superhero them back from the edge of death, not inspire a non-winning entry into Things That Never Happened writing contest...

ryandeschanel avatar
Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow... they eventually poisoned themselves with their own toxic positivity.

dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, someone runs you over, knocks you down with a car, and then you're not that angry, because she had a crappy day? Also, the story isn't complete ... the recruiter was the woman's starving dog who died prematurely while being the eldest of his breed ever known, and still kicks ass, or sniffs for that matter...

theendisnigh75 avatar
TheEndIsNigh🇨🇦and🇬🇧in🇺🇲
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plot twist, the driver ran her over on purpose because she was having an awful day and needed someone to vent to!

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jmscargill avatar
Scagsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sympathy? OK. I'm really sorry that you are such a douche. Now F**k Off.

erine avatar
Erin E
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uhhh. You hit me with your car, call an ambulance, please?!?

ala77893 avatar
Ava Lasley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'pS I HavEnt HaD mY SyMPatHy yEt sO fEeL FrEe tO gIVe Me SoMe' I laughed so hard at the last sentence, like do they think we believe them or what???

hobbit4420 avatar
Sue Phillips
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe she ran you over so she would have someone listen to her...

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Luuta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That awful fake story reminded me of my stay in hospital when i was 16. The lad in the bed next to me had been hit by a car (which didn't stop) while doing his paper round. He lay on the side of the road with a compound fracture, part of his bone sticking out of his leg, in shock. And a little old lady walked past and asked him if he was alright. He was incredulous and couldn't help telling her sarcastically that he was fine, perfectly ok, not a scratch. And she said, "ok, then. Well it's nice to meet you" and carried on walking, leaving him there. He couldn't believe it. This was in the days before mobile phones. It was another five minutes before someone came out of one of the houses, found him, and called an ambulance.

nfrlprdpr avatar
Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have options, start with “ma’am, could you please call 911, then call for a therapist, if you choose to continue to talk to me about your issues it will be $5 a minute”. Guaranteed silence

alexk_1 avatar
Alex K
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

maybe she needed someone to listen, that's why she ran him over

kaching12 avatar
Yort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having a bad day doesn’t mean you get to run over people, dafuq

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A Random Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Subtlety and honesty. Two things this person is running low on.

demonchild945 avatar
Demon Child
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg guys just a few minutes ago i was actually shot 78 times in the back. Im bleeding everywhere but in just 2 min I crawled over here and typed this out w my bloody fingers...I'm a little annoyed but I'm a good person so I just said I would tweet ab this, but not call the cops🤗cmon pandas one like=one prayer that I wont die in approx five minutes tysm

graceandlucy avatar
Grace and Lucy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Give you sympathy ?? With kudos to George Carlin: Don't take my sympathy. The week ends coming up and I only have 2 left.

moths avatar
rabbitsrabbit
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So... is there a cap to the number of ppl I can run over with the 'awful morning' excuse?

moths avatar
rabbitsrabbit
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Ali Dimashkieh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should have finished the job. You have a better chance getting sympathy from whomever you meet after death than from us regular human beings!!!

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IFXO
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And there's me in the back of the ambulance from getting out of bed

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#17

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#18

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Sum Guy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a weird way of promoting your business, by comparing it to a deadly virus that devastated economies

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#20

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Sum Guy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You laugh but this is a pandemic... people out here even try to get their home appliances in pictures. They will have fancy toasters and coffee makers in places that don't make sense

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#21

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I want cake
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really, nunchucks? What kind B-grade movies has this guy been watching to think that any biker-looking guy will 'go berserk' in a random place because someone on the phone told him to?

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#22

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lisa-warndorff avatar
I want cake
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're not meetings, they're classes, you self-important beetle. And he's probably heard his parent say that on a daily basis so he trotted it out to impress them.

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#30

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Troux
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pro tip: Don't work for the guy that is dumbfounded by the concept of a sick day.

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Note: this post originally had 73 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

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