Family Drama Ensues After Dad Gifts His Son A Dog, Mom Sells It For $4K And Says That It Ran Away
It’s no big secret that divorce is a rocky thing.
You tie the knot under the impression that you’ve finally found your soulmate with whom you’ll spend the rest of your life, when suddenly, everything’s over and you have to re-learn what it’s like not having your other half by your side.
But no matter what toll it might take on you, coming to terms with such an outcome and eventually adjusting well is a more doable task when you don’t share children. When you do, chances are, things won’t heal as quickly as you’d ideally desire.
Co-parenting is tricky and needs both parents’ equal attention at all times – otherwise, it’ll simply not work. The concept holds true for anything, from a tiny schedule conflict to, like in this instance, something as significant as a pet given as a present for a birthday.
It’s vital to remember that your kids are your number one priority, meaning that developing a cordial working relationship with your ex-spouse is a requirement – because putting your children through suffering just because you failed to talk things through is, quite frankly, cruel.
More info: Reddit
You know what they say: “Your first obligation as a parent is not to bring chaos into the lives of your children”
Image credits: Eric Sonstroem (not the actual photo)
“AITA for telling my brother our mom sold his dog?” – this netizen turned to one of Reddit’s most philosophical communities, wondering whether they were wrong to tell their brother that their mom sold the dog that was gifted to him by his father. The post has managed to receive 3.4K upvotes, as well as 509 comments discussing this rather bizarre situation.
Mom gets bashed for telling her son his dog ran away when she actually sold it for $4K
Image credits: [deleted]
The Redditor began their post by revealing that their sibling received a puppy from their dad for his birthday last year. However, given that their parents had a nasty divorce and the father hadn’t given the decision enough thought before surprising his offspring, their mother wasn’t very thrilled about the gift.
The author’s brother had wanted a dog for a very long time, but their mother always refused to let him have one because of the shedding. Needless to say, once the new member of the family arrived, she never warmed to him.
Image credits: [deleted]
The dog vanished into thin air a few months ago, but the boys’ mother claimed that he had fled. Naturally, the brother was distraught and sobbed every night, according to the post’s creator. The mother denied it repeatedly, but the siblings believed she had just got rid of the poor animal.
Well, at one point, the Redditor was fixing their beloved mother’s phone, as she was complaining about a notification issue, when they found an e-transfer for $4K from someone they didn’t recognize. They looked into her emails and – surprise, surprise – discovered that she had indeed posted the dog for sale.
The child confronted her immediately; however, she didn’t deny it and said that the money was put towards their college fund.
Image credits: [deleted]
The author’s mother reacted angrily when they said they would tell their brother the truth, yelling and calling them out for choosing a “useless animal” over her. Of course, they told their sibling right away, as they wanted him to stop stressing out about whether his puppy was alive or not.
Image credits: Zach Graves (not the actual photo)
The mother and son got into a heated argument, and the boy even tried to get his pet back, but the purchasers never got back to him. Later, the woman accused the author of the post of being responsible for the broken relationship. She ended up getting into their head, and they now believe that they’re indeed to blame.
What do you think about this situation? Would you have handled things differently?
Fellow Reddit users shared their thoughts on this situation
The majority of the community members declared that the author of the post is definitely not the jerk of the situation – however, they did have an issue with the parents. A user that goes by the name u/7thatsanope, for instance, said that the author’s father had no right to bring an animal into the household without consulting the mother first and that it should’ve been talked through so that both parties could’ve reached a decision that would make their kids happy, but also keep the woman sane. A clear-headed and rational approach would’ve spared the family all the pain, as well as the possible distress that the animal had to go through. However, what’s done is done, and the mother’s actions are unacceptable and could never be excused.
Many netizens shamed the parents for failing to communicate with one another and subjecting their kids to weeks of suffering
The majority, however, argued that the mother is, in fact, the jerk in this scenario
Image credits: Roopesh Sheth (not the actual photo)
A Redditor called u/cryndalae also noted that the chances are the author’s dad was very well aware of his ex’s thoughts on pets, which practically makes this situation even worse. Yet the biggest fool in this scenario is still their mother. She’s to blame for the ruined relationship, as she didn’t set any boundaries when the puppy arrived and instead willingly put the children through suffering by lying and traumatizing her own flesh and blood for weeks.
A few more reactions from the community members
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As someone whose mother also got rid of their pets as a child, I can say that this is one of the most emotionally scarring and permanent trust-breaking things a parent can do, if it’s done in anger/hate (like my mom did). And if it’s done without a good reason or at least a discussion about WHY it’s happening. I have never trusted my mom since childhood for doing this to me. The only difference is my mom did it with my knowledge and gloated about it, too.
Well - Dressed Wolf, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing well now. Nobody should have to face losing a pet because their mom gave it away.
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NTA. Both your parents are the assholes. Dad got the dog to p**s off Mom, and Mom got rid of the dog to p**s off Dad. Not only did Dad and Mom mess with their own children's well-being and emotional health, but also they victimized an innocent puppy.
I doubt the dog will be mistreated after they spent $4k just to get him. The dog actually might be happier with a family where everyone wants it. 🤷♀️ Both parents are still assholes though.
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The dad may be an a*****e, but the mom sounds straight evil. Those poor kids.
Yeah I dont see the problem with the dad tbh he no longer has an obligation to make the mom happy the kids on the other hand well he still needs to be a dad.
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Mom is a dishonest POS. Hope she remembers this when she gets dumped in a bad nursing home 500 miles away from any relatives.
I would tell Dad and let him report it to the police as theft. And you can bet there is no 4k deposit to the college fund.I would tell Dad and let him report it to the police as theft. And you can bet there is no 4k deposit to the college fund.
He will not, because 6 monthsfood and care supplies was not free, and judge will tell him who created all disaster. Why do you think he bought puppy and sent it to his ex? Parents just a perfect couple of AHs
Load More Replies... She ruined the relationship with her children herself. I could never wrap my head around how people can be so cruel and still expect those they hurt to love them unconditionally.
Borderline Personality Disorder with a whopping side of Malignant Narcissism. Those kids need to keep a journal of all her b******t and get their father to petition for full permanent custody. That $4K will be a huge point to the judge.
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I’d demand to see proof that the money she got for the dog is indeed in a separate fund that is explicitly for education. If the money is miraculously in an education fund, pay close attention to transaction dates. If that money wasn’t transferred within a couple days of receiving it, and was the only posted after the confrontation, that’s a really big problem. . Because I have a sneaky feeling that she’s lying about that too.
I'd also have concerns about any college fund under the mother's control. She could easily withdraw that money at any point if she has access. Dad needs to report this to the police. She stole from her child to the equivalent of $4000, which is grand larceny. This event is also emotional abuse, to both children but especially the younger one. She's not the least bit remorseful and being arrested may be the wake-up call she needs to understand that she can't just do whatever she wants.
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What kind of person sells another persons pet??!!?!.... thats just messed up!!
Dad should have cleared dog with mom. Mom should have given dad chance to take back dog. Mom should have been honest with son. Poster obviously NTA for seeking to ease brother's pain.
I'm not saying that this story is true or false, but I'm believing less everyday on BP.
YELLING!!!, I hope your not believing in the stories on BP is because you had a normal childhood. A lot of us didn’t and when you grow up with people who are supposed to love and protect you do the absolute opposite it easy to know the truth in these stories.
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OP I'm so sorry. NTA. Your mom is evil. Your dad needs to have more foresight. Could the dad have a friendly conversation with the doggo's current owners? Maybe he could get it back and have the dog live with him?
I highly doubt it... sadly... Unless there was some legal reason for it or the current dog owners are the most compassionate human beings ever, the dog will stay... The mom had to put such a high price tag just to make sure it didnt come back...
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I'll bet good money that 4 grand is in mom's bank account. If dad had kept the dog, then the kids would have wanted to live with dad and the dog. She couldn't have that, because then I'm her little brain, dad would win. She sold the dog to get back her ex. She figured no one would know. And the kid wouldn't have a dog. Terrible isn't the word for this mom. Her and the ex need to stop.
What a dysfunctional family. Dad, for getting a dog without clearing it with the mom. Mom, for getting rid of the dog and lying about it. That is an issue that may haunt that boy for the rest of his life. Brother had an obligation to inform his brother what really happened to the dog. If may have created a riff between mother and son, but I still think it was better for him to know the truth.
I know how that feels. I had a semi-similar situation happen to me several years ago. I had a total mental breakdown, and needed to go into the hospital for a while. I asked my father if he would go pick up my dog, Milli, and take care of her until I got out. Only when I got out I found out that his wife took Milli to the shelter the very next day after he picked her up. I'll NEVER forgive either of them.
My parents weren't divorced, but my mom tried that a couple times with our dog. She also ended up eating crow both times when she had to go get her back.
From experience ... good luck finding the college fund. Learn about narcissistic parenting
Is nobody else caught on the fact she sold a dog for 4k? Who buys a dog for four THOUSAND dollars? I got mine craigslist. $50. And while I love her to death and would do d*mn near anything for her, I wouldn't say she's worth 4 grand. Lol ...well, maybe in vet bills.
That's exactly what makes the story seem fake. The most my mom's ever paid for a dog when I was growing up was $500, and that's because she was a 100% Kishon breed. (I may have spelled that wrong lol) She recently paid as little as $250 for a full blooded husky. I just have a hard time believing it was a $4,000 dog.Making the story most likely false. Reddit is full of story exercises from students. The believable the story the better the grade I assume.
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Both parents at fault here. I get the feeling Dad did this deliberately pets are a huge responsibility and Dad had no right to put a dog into the home without permission from mum Mum selling the dog and lying is reprehensible. mum could have called Dad to get the dog out.of her house. She chose not to hurting her child. Neither one of them a good parent.
The question is, if this was as bad a divorce as the op states, then the mother could have been asking the dad to take the dog for a while. Why was their immediate thought that she had done something to the dog? Probably because she has been threatening to for a while if it remained in her house.
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Mom is bigger @$$hole than dad. She should have asked the dad to keep dog since he bought it. My ex-wife did this while we were married. Sold our family dog and said it ran away. I was more bothered than the kids because I knew she was lying, and she was.
True, my question is though, did she ask him to take it? Everyone knew she didn't want the dog, to the point that when it disappeared she was the very first suspect. Why is this? Have her and the ex been fighting about it for a while? If she keeps telling everyone she doesn't want the dog, and to get it out of her house, and everyone discounts her and doesn't listen, or even worse, father keeps saying right near the kids that she should just allow the dog since the son loves it so much, then she probably endured until she was about to have a mental break. What she did was wrong, but I don't have the full story, and have had a pet given to my child weaponized against me. I still have the furry little a*****e. Who since it is a cat, has decided that I am his human.😪 He also has special medical needs and has to eat expensive food to survive. Both of these parents are assholes.
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My grandmother hated all pets because she claimed that they "carry disease." Even my goldfish, which she overfed to extinction, apparently. My sister and I had adopted puppies after asking for permission. She could have said no, but she was okay with the idea of forcing them to sleep in the snow one Winter. Eventually, she called the kill shelter and had them literally dragged away under my nose. She was not missed (by myself) after she died of a heart attack.
These two adults got along well enough to create babies. Then things didn't work out between them so the delibratly do things to use the kids in a tug-a-war. This is all too common in the battles when those same adults can't be in the same room. Now, #1) Brother wasted to reassure his brother the dog was safe. So brother did the right thing by letting him know. #2) Dad was wrong. He should have kept the dog at his house, he knew the mom said no to dogs. He knew he was creating a painful situation at her house. #3) Mom is a selfish vindictive woman and does not care about nurturing her children. She should have said the dog goes back to dad's house. She had the right to refuse the dog in her home but it wasn't hers to sell. #4) The boys wouldn't have liked her mandate but it would have been less painful. #5) She is responsible for tearing apart the relationship between her and her boys. There is consequences for her actions. #6). Both parents should be apologizing to those boys.
Many actually. Check out the pet stores. For a pure bred with papers, and all shots, this is not surprising at all.
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It was not ok of the Dad to just park a dog in the mom's household. Dogs are a lot of work and cost time and money. BUT, she should have returend it that same day, before any serious bond was formed. Lying (and stealing) like this has ruined the relationship with her son and scarred it forever. There is no coming back from certain kinds of betrayal and that is one of them. NTA. The conflict was already festering and the truth would have come out onw way or the other.
I feel like the mom is the bigger ah because not only did she hurt her kids she expected one of them to keep a hurtful secret from the other, yeah the dads an ah for assumingly getting the dog to p!ss off the mom but I doubt he knew she would've got rid of the dog. Those poor kids the mom has officially become abusive (if she hasn't already been labeled that )
The mother is totally the AH, and the dad too, as if he didn't think this might happen. This is probably one of the b*****est moves I've read about for a while. And to call an animal useless when it makes your children happy, maybe the parents should try that without any selfish intents...? I'm glad my parents got divorced but weren't toxic about it and are better off alone, after 20 years of fighting though. I hope the dog is in a good home, but feel very sorry for the kids. Also to say the dog ran away, how that must've felt like to be worried sick about it. OP, no reason to feel guilty since your parents caused this and I would've wanted to know/told if I found out something like this.
I bet your mom is always telling you and your brother, "not to lie," yet she lied to both of you and wanted you to join in. Your dad should have discussed the dog before sending it over. That your mom put you in that position says a lot. Why should you and your brother be tangled up in your parents' mess?
That is not someone who should call herself a mother, full stop. All she seems to care about is herself, "getting back" at her ex and money, in that order. The wellbeing of her children don't seem to enter the equation for her. Fine if she doesn't want a dog around, it's her house, but the kids live there too. Their needs should be taken care of beyond the material. Given the callous lie of "the dog ran away," I doubt the money even went into any kind of fund but her own. The "college fund" sounds like a very convenient excuse. Dad's definitely not off the hook, either. He bought his son a dog and had said dog over at the mom's house at least part-time when he knew she had a "no dogs" policy. But at least it doesn't seem like he's out to actively hurt his kids just to get one over on his ex. I wonder if he can get custody. The mother blew up her chances at trust with her children, at least for the time being.
Him buying this dog in full knowledge of her no dog policy was the first Sally of attack, and it was done in full knowledge that she will either have to deal with a dog she doesn't want and be miserable, or do something about it, and look like the bad guy. Now what she did was all kinds of wrong, and may be her counter attack, but these parents and kids need to get counseling and figure some stuff out.
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I know how exactly how that feels. I had a semi-similar situation several years ago. I had a total mental breakdown and I needed to go into the hospital for a while. I asked my dad to please get my dog and keep her till I got back. He said he would, and it wouldn't be a problem. When I got out, I found out that his wife took Milli to the shelter the next day after he picked her up 😢. I'll never forgive either of them!
After the apologizing maybe there is another pet he might be able to have. There are a few dogs that don't shed. Maybe if he takes full responsibility she might reconsider one of those breeds. Mind you, I'm not optimistic because she thrives on keeping hard feelings stored up.
Oh heck no. After what she did with the first dog, another dog shouldn't be in her household. Like CL Rowan said, she cannot be trusted. What kind of person tells their child that his dog ran away, making the poor kid think the dog could have been hit by a car and is laying somewhere dying? Not sure she should be parenting anyone.
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Dad is the a**hole here. It makes me think that the entire dog thing was designed to make mom the bad guy with the kids. She was going to be the villain whatever she did if she didn’t want the dog.
So if mom would been a good mother and let her kids keep the dog she would have been a villain?
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NTA. I feel sad for you and your brother. I think people who spend $4000 on a dog are unlikely to sell it back. Seriously, ADOPT don't buy
What awful parents, esp the mom. Hope those kids get away asap, w as little trauma as possible.
Hmm, both parents are the AH, but I sympathize with the mother. I'm sure she didn't want to tell him because of exactly what's happening now. While I don't agree with lying, because it's been done to me so much while growing up. I do see why she lied. The problem here is now everyone is on the defense with each other and this is most likely going to cause serious family issues, that is not going away, unless your mom sits you guys down and have an open heart conversation to solve the tension and resentment that has built up from this. You can't blame your mom for not wanting a dog in the first place, your dad was supposed to consult her first, but she could have handled it better. But hey! We are human we make mistakes, what's important is to own up to them.
Exactly if the kids wanted a dog, why couldn't it have stayed at the father's house and he pay and care for its needs? The father did this on purpose to hurt and destroy his ex. Had nothing to do with the kids happiness. She has a right to not want the financial and emotional responsibility of having a dog.
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Actually all 3 of you are wrong. Dad for buying a dog without consulting your mom. Huge jerk move if he wanted to buy your brother a dog then it shouldve been for his home not your mom's. You mom is wrong for lying and hiding it and not addressing the situation when it happened and resolving it right then. But you are also wrong for invading your mom's privacy. If she would've gone through your phone you would have went gone 0-60 on her about your rights but yet you gave no consideration about invading hers. Remember 2 wrongs do not a right make. It didnt make anyone's life better it seems to have made it worse. I hope everyone can go to counseling so your brother and mom can get back on track, your parents can learn how to communicate and both you kids can stop being pawns in their dispute. Sending love and well wishes to you all.
As someone whose mother also got rid of their pets as a child, I can say that this is one of the most emotionally scarring and permanent trust-breaking things a parent can do, if it’s done in anger/hate (like my mom did). And if it’s done without a good reason or at least a discussion about WHY it’s happening. I have never trusted my mom since childhood for doing this to me. The only difference is my mom did it with my knowledge and gloated about it, too.
Well - Dressed Wolf, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing well now. Nobody should have to face losing a pet because their mom gave it away.
Load More Replies... NTA. Both your parents are the assholes. Dad got the dog to p**s off Mom, and Mom got rid of the dog to p**s off Dad. Not only did Dad and Mom mess with their own children's well-being and emotional health, but also they victimized an innocent puppy.
I doubt the dog will be mistreated after they spent $4k just to get him. The dog actually might be happier with a family where everyone wants it. 🤷♀️ Both parents are still assholes though.
Load More Replies... The dad may be an a*****e, but the mom sounds straight evil. Those poor kids.
Yeah I dont see the problem with the dad tbh he no longer has an obligation to make the mom happy the kids on the other hand well he still needs to be a dad.
Load More Replies... Mom is a dishonest POS. Hope she remembers this when she gets dumped in a bad nursing home 500 miles away from any relatives.
I would tell Dad and let him report it to the police as theft. And you can bet there is no 4k deposit to the college fund.I would tell Dad and let him report it to the police as theft. And you can bet there is no 4k deposit to the college fund.
He will not, because 6 monthsfood and care supplies was not free, and judge will tell him who created all disaster. Why do you think he bought puppy and sent it to his ex? Parents just a perfect couple of AHs
Load More Replies... She ruined the relationship with her children herself. I could never wrap my head around how people can be so cruel and still expect those they hurt to love them unconditionally.
Borderline Personality Disorder with a whopping side of Malignant Narcissism. Those kids need to keep a journal of all her b******t and get their father to petition for full permanent custody. That $4K will be a huge point to the judge.
Load More Replies... I’d demand to see proof that the money she got for the dog is indeed in a separate fund that is explicitly for education. If the money is miraculously in an education fund, pay close attention to transaction dates. If that money wasn’t transferred within a couple days of receiving it, and was the only posted after the confrontation, that’s a really big problem. . Because I have a sneaky feeling that she’s lying about that too.
I'd also have concerns about any college fund under the mother's control. She could easily withdraw that money at any point if she has access. Dad needs to report this to the police. She stole from her child to the equivalent of $4000, which is grand larceny. This event is also emotional abuse, to both children but especially the younger one. She's not the least bit remorseful and being arrested may be the wake-up call she needs to understand that she can't just do whatever she wants.
Load More Replies... What kind of person sells another persons pet??!!?!.... thats just messed up!!
Dad should have cleared dog with mom. Mom should have given dad chance to take back dog. Mom should have been honest with son. Poster obviously NTA for seeking to ease brother's pain.
I'm not saying that this story is true or false, but I'm believing less everyday on BP.
YELLING!!!, I hope your not believing in the stories on BP is because you had a normal childhood. A lot of us didn’t and when you grow up with people who are supposed to love and protect you do the absolute opposite it easy to know the truth in these stories.
Load More Replies... OP I'm so sorry. NTA. Your mom is evil. Your dad needs to have more foresight. Could the dad have a friendly conversation with the doggo's current owners? Maybe he could get it back and have the dog live with him?
I highly doubt it... sadly... Unless there was some legal reason for it or the current dog owners are the most compassionate human beings ever, the dog will stay... The mom had to put such a high price tag just to make sure it didnt come back...
Load More Replies... I'll bet good money that 4 grand is in mom's bank account. If dad had kept the dog, then the kids would have wanted to live with dad and the dog. She couldn't have that, because then I'm her little brain, dad would win. She sold the dog to get back her ex. She figured no one would know. And the kid wouldn't have a dog. Terrible isn't the word for this mom. Her and the ex need to stop.
What a dysfunctional family. Dad, for getting a dog without clearing it with the mom. Mom, for getting rid of the dog and lying about it. That is an issue that may haunt that boy for the rest of his life. Brother had an obligation to inform his brother what really happened to the dog. If may have created a riff between mother and son, but I still think it was better for him to know the truth.
I know how that feels. I had a semi-similar situation happen to me several years ago. I had a total mental breakdown, and needed to go into the hospital for a while. I asked my father if he would go pick up my dog, Milli, and take care of her until I got out. Only when I got out I found out that his wife took Milli to the shelter the very next day after he picked her up. I'll NEVER forgive either of them.
My parents weren't divorced, but my mom tried that a couple times with our dog. She also ended up eating crow both times when she had to go get her back.
From experience ... good luck finding the college fund. Learn about narcissistic parenting
Is nobody else caught on the fact she sold a dog for 4k? Who buys a dog for four THOUSAND dollars? I got mine craigslist. $50. And while I love her to death and would do d*mn near anything for her, I wouldn't say she's worth 4 grand. Lol ...well, maybe in vet bills.
That's exactly what makes the story seem fake. The most my mom's ever paid for a dog when I was growing up was $500, and that's because she was a 100% Kishon breed. (I may have spelled that wrong lol) She recently paid as little as $250 for a full blooded husky. I just have a hard time believing it was a $4,000 dog.Making the story most likely false. Reddit is full of story exercises from students. The believable the story the better the grade I assume.
Load More Replies... Both parents at fault here. I get the feeling Dad did this deliberately pets are a huge responsibility and Dad had no right to put a dog into the home without permission from mum Mum selling the dog and lying is reprehensible. mum could have called Dad to get the dog out.of her house. She chose not to hurting her child. Neither one of them a good parent.
The question is, if this was as bad a divorce as the op states, then the mother could have been asking the dad to take the dog for a while. Why was their immediate thought that she had done something to the dog? Probably because she has been threatening to for a while if it remained in her house.
Load More Replies... Mom is bigger @$$hole than dad. She should have asked the dad to keep dog since he bought it. My ex-wife did this while we were married. Sold our family dog and said it ran away. I was more bothered than the kids because I knew she was lying, and she was.
True, my question is though, did she ask him to take it? Everyone knew she didn't want the dog, to the point that when it disappeared she was the very first suspect. Why is this? Have her and the ex been fighting about it for a while? If she keeps telling everyone she doesn't want the dog, and to get it out of her house, and everyone discounts her and doesn't listen, or even worse, father keeps saying right near the kids that she should just allow the dog since the son loves it so much, then she probably endured until she was about to have a mental break. What she did was wrong, but I don't have the full story, and have had a pet given to my child weaponized against me. I still have the furry little a*****e. Who since it is a cat, has decided that I am his human.😪 He also has special medical needs and has to eat expensive food to survive. Both of these parents are assholes.
Load More Replies... My grandmother hated all pets because she claimed that they "carry disease." Even my goldfish, which she overfed to extinction, apparently. My sister and I had adopted puppies after asking for permission. She could have said no, but she was okay with the idea of forcing them to sleep in the snow one Winter. Eventually, she called the kill shelter and had them literally dragged away under my nose. She was not missed (by myself) after she died of a heart attack.
These two adults got along well enough to create babies. Then things didn't work out between them so the delibratly do things to use the kids in a tug-a-war. This is all too common in the battles when those same adults can't be in the same room. Now, #1) Brother wasted to reassure his brother the dog was safe. So brother did the right thing by letting him know. #2) Dad was wrong. He should have kept the dog at his house, he knew the mom said no to dogs. He knew he was creating a painful situation at her house. #3) Mom is a selfish vindictive woman and does not care about nurturing her children. She should have said the dog goes back to dad's house. She had the right to refuse the dog in her home but it wasn't hers to sell. #4) The boys wouldn't have liked her mandate but it would have been less painful. #5) She is responsible for tearing apart the relationship between her and her boys. There is consequences for her actions. #6). Both parents should be apologizing to those boys.
Many actually. Check out the pet stores. For a pure bred with papers, and all shots, this is not surprising at all.
Load More Replies... It was not ok of the Dad to just park a dog in the mom's household. Dogs are a lot of work and cost time and money. BUT, she should have returend it that same day, before any serious bond was formed. Lying (and stealing) like this has ruined the relationship with her son and scarred it forever. There is no coming back from certain kinds of betrayal and that is one of them. NTA. The conflict was already festering and the truth would have come out onw way or the other.
I feel like the mom is the bigger ah because not only did she hurt her kids she expected one of them to keep a hurtful secret from the other, yeah the dads an ah for assumingly getting the dog to p!ss off the mom but I doubt he knew she would've got rid of the dog. Those poor kids the mom has officially become abusive (if she hasn't already been labeled that )
The mother is totally the AH, and the dad too, as if he didn't think this might happen. This is probably one of the b*****est moves I've read about for a while. And to call an animal useless when it makes your children happy, maybe the parents should try that without any selfish intents...? I'm glad my parents got divorced but weren't toxic about it and are better off alone, after 20 years of fighting though. I hope the dog is in a good home, but feel very sorry for the kids. Also to say the dog ran away, how that must've felt like to be worried sick about it. OP, no reason to feel guilty since your parents caused this and I would've wanted to know/told if I found out something like this.
I bet your mom is always telling you and your brother, "not to lie," yet she lied to both of you and wanted you to join in. Your dad should have discussed the dog before sending it over. That your mom put you in that position says a lot. Why should you and your brother be tangled up in your parents' mess?
That is not someone who should call herself a mother, full stop. All she seems to care about is herself, "getting back" at her ex and money, in that order. The wellbeing of her children don't seem to enter the equation for her. Fine if she doesn't want a dog around, it's her house, but the kids live there too. Their needs should be taken care of beyond the material. Given the callous lie of "the dog ran away," I doubt the money even went into any kind of fund but her own. The "college fund" sounds like a very convenient excuse. Dad's definitely not off the hook, either. He bought his son a dog and had said dog over at the mom's house at least part-time when he knew she had a "no dogs" policy. But at least it doesn't seem like he's out to actively hurt his kids just to get one over on his ex. I wonder if he can get custody. The mother blew up her chances at trust with her children, at least for the time being.
Him buying this dog in full knowledge of her no dog policy was the first Sally of attack, and it was done in full knowledge that she will either have to deal with a dog she doesn't want and be miserable, or do something about it, and look like the bad guy. Now what she did was all kinds of wrong, and may be her counter attack, but these parents and kids need to get counseling and figure some stuff out.
Load More Replies... I know how exactly how that feels. I had a semi-similar situation several years ago. I had a total mental breakdown and I needed to go into the hospital for a while. I asked my dad to please get my dog and keep her till I got back. He said he would, and it wouldn't be a problem. When I got out, I found out that his wife took Milli to the shelter the next day after he picked her up 😢. I'll never forgive either of them!
After the apologizing maybe there is another pet he might be able to have. There are a few dogs that don't shed. Maybe if he takes full responsibility she might reconsider one of those breeds. Mind you, I'm not optimistic because she thrives on keeping hard feelings stored up.
Oh heck no. After what she did with the first dog, another dog shouldn't be in her household. Like CL Rowan said, she cannot be trusted. What kind of person tells their child that his dog ran away, making the poor kid think the dog could have been hit by a car and is laying somewhere dying? Not sure she should be parenting anyone.
Load More Replies... Dad is the a**hole here. It makes me think that the entire dog thing was designed to make mom the bad guy with the kids. She was going to be the villain whatever she did if she didn’t want the dog.
So if mom would been a good mother and let her kids keep the dog she would have been a villain?
Load More Replies... NTA. I feel sad for you and your brother. I think people who spend $4000 on a dog are unlikely to sell it back. Seriously, ADOPT don't buy
What awful parents, esp the mom. Hope those kids get away asap, w as little trauma as possible.
Hmm, both parents are the AH, but I sympathize with the mother. I'm sure she didn't want to tell him because of exactly what's happening now. While I don't agree with lying, because it's been done to me so much while growing up. I do see why she lied. The problem here is now everyone is on the defense with each other and this is most likely going to cause serious family issues, that is not going away, unless your mom sits you guys down and have an open heart conversation to solve the tension and resentment that has built up from this. You can't blame your mom for not wanting a dog in the first place, your dad was supposed to consult her first, but she could have handled it better. But hey! We are human we make mistakes, what's important is to own up to them.
Exactly if the kids wanted a dog, why couldn't it have stayed at the father's house and he pay and care for its needs? The father did this on purpose to hurt and destroy his ex. Had nothing to do with the kids happiness. She has a right to not want the financial and emotional responsibility of having a dog.
Load More Replies... Actually all 3 of you are wrong. Dad for buying a dog without consulting your mom. Huge jerk move if he wanted to buy your brother a dog then it shouldve been for his home not your mom's. You mom is wrong for lying and hiding it and not addressing the situation when it happened and resolving it right then. But you are also wrong for invading your mom's privacy. If she would've gone through your phone you would have went gone 0-60 on her about your rights but yet you gave no consideration about invading hers. Remember 2 wrongs do not a right make. It didnt make anyone's life better it seems to have made it worse. I hope everyone can go to counseling so your brother and mom can get back on track, your parents can learn how to communicate and both you kids can stop being pawns in their dispute. Sending love and well wishes to you all.
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