There’s nothing quite as powerful as getting some brutally honest advice that can greatly improve your quality of life. Redditor NotViperX asked the adults using the site to share something that every teenager needs to know. And you know what? Some of us might not be teenagers anymore (even though we act like them), but these pieces of advice are still useful to hear from time to time.
Upvote your favorite tips for teenagers as you scroll down and add any advice you’d give teenagers (or your past selves) in the comment section below, dear Pandas. However, there’s a small snag with great advice.
Bored Panda reached out to the author of the viral thread, NotViperX. They said that teenagers tend to ignore adults' advice because of puberty: it's a time when they explore and try out new things which leads to them having different opinions than their parents. Read on for the rest of our interview with the redditor.
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Apologizing is a sign of strength, not weakness. We all screw up, when you own up to it, you grow from it.
Learn to trust your gut when in strange situations. If something feels off / wrong, it probably is.
Don't go along with something if it feels wrong.
It's ok to say no to anyone. Don't let anyone in your life guilt trip you into doing something you don't want to do or are uncomfortable with
What's worse, saying "no" and maybe losing a friend (who wasn't one to begin with) or going along with something and then regretting it for the rest of your life? You'll soon forget "the friend" but you'll never forget that feeling of regret and remorse.
NotViperX told Bored Panda about what drew them to create the thread in the first place: "I was thinking about a question that would be helpful and entertaining at once. When I came up with this one, I just posted, never expecting it to get so much attention! I posted it because I was interested in people's opinions and advice from all over the world," they said.
The redditor also had some advice for teenagers regarding health. According to them, it's incredibly important to keep an eye on what teenagers eat.
"The teenage body needs lots of minerals and vitamins to stay healthy and develop the body! And afterwards, always brush your teeth! You will thank yourself later," NotViperX said, adding that they're very grateful for all of the helpful comments, upvotes and awards their thread got.
I’ve said this before but it’s important. When someone says you can’t do something in life, it means they can’t do it, not that you can’t.
If you are assaulted on campus, notify the police, not campus security.
At most universities, campus security has no authority to arrest anyone. They do not conduct criminal prosecutions. They are essentially security guards.
Most of your friends are the product of geographic convenience. Just because you grew up being friends with a neighbour or a fellow student, doesn't mean you owe them your undying loyalty when they start treating you like sh*t.
It important to know it is ok to out grow relationships. People change and grow apart.
No matter how great your advice is, teenagers might not want to follow it. A lot of things can get in their way, from angst and hormones to wanting to rebel or feeling ‘weak’ if they listen to an adult. Fortunately, there are some ways around these obstacles that can help teenagers maintain their spirit of independence while helping them absorb useful info.
Teenagers are prone to ignoring their parents’ advice, writes Andy Earle, founder of the ‘Talking to Teens’ blog and podcast. According to Earle, teenagers tend to rebel against their parents because they want to be in charge of their own decisions, so parents ought to consider removing themselves from the equation.
Getting a mentor-figure or a friend to talk to your teenage kids about important life advice might just be the secret workaround that won’t make them feel like they’re being ‘told’ to do something. The more the teens trust the person, the more they’ll be willing to listen and think about what they have to say.
Start trying to save money now. You will definitely thank yourself later on.
Learn how to cook. It’s way cheaper and usually faster than takeout.
People (employers, etc) will take advantage of your naivete. In many cases this will be illegal.
HR is only there to protect the company, no matter how much they smile at you.
Another way to subtly dodge your teens’ willingness to run away from sound advice is to embrace their independence: help them discover the solution to their problems all by themselves.
Give them a few tips on where to find the info they might need. Then sit back and watch as they research everything for themselves. This way, they’ll feel self-reliant and won’t be prone to throwing advice in the bin just because it was said by their parents. While this hands-off approach might not make some parents happy, at least consider giving this a try if everything else keeps backfiring.
Learn the signs and signals of toxic relationships. All too often these can start as early as high school and before you know it you've wasted years of your life being someone's victim.
If a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't treat you with respect, cut your loses early because five years from now you'll still be treated poorly by them ...
Everyone is smart, just at different things. People can be book smart or people smart or machine smart etc.
But the difference between successful people and not so much is the application and dedication you give.
(My nephew is 9 and his dad is already calling him dumb, which is insane because that kid is sooooo quick. He understands things rapidly. But he doesn't like school right now. This is something I just told him)
Kids really do believe it when they're told they're dumb. When I was part timing as a teacher at a small private facility, there was a kid who displayed low self-confidence when it comes to studying. I once "proved him wrong" by showing him how well he was actually doing. That really encouraged him to do even better, and next day he happily told me he passed that one exam he was so worried about. Such a sweet kid.
Lastly, if your teenagers keep making the same mistakes over and over again (and keep pestering you about the same problems over and over again, too), it’s time to have an honest chat.
Tell them upfront that they’re ignoring the advice you’ve already given them and it’s time to change something, otherwise, they’ll keep making the same painful mistakes. This way, they might be more willing to actually solve their problems instead of just talking about them and relying on others to do the thinking while they ignore potential solutions.
It really doesn’t matter what others think of you. It only matters what you think of yourself. Live your life such that you can look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and be proud of what you’ve done.
Also, “likes” from social media don’t mean a thing. If you post something that gets zero likes or upvotes, you will still wake up tomorrow ready to go.
If you don't have a passion, learn new skills. You might find your passion or something you're good at.
You're responsible for your own education and have absolutely no one to blame if you don't take school seriously. And be nice to your teachers. They're trying to gift you a future.
Practically every person that has ever dropped out of high school has said that if they had to do it over again, they would want to complete their HS education. As a 16 or 17 year old, what else do you have to do? Focus on your education ... you'll never regret that decision.
Cashiers don't care if you buy condoms.
I had to go buy a condom when I was in high school as part of my sex ed class. It was weird we had to bring them to school to prove we bought them. Nothing embarrassing about a bunch of teens pulling condoms from their backpacks to show we did the assessment.
When you get to driving you need to realize that the laws of physics apply to you. They aren't out to get you, they're just indifferent. Slow the [heck] down and don't horse around, you're driving a very heavy machine at speeds we did not evolve to deal with. Be safe.
Also all-wheel drive does not improve braking or handling overall. I have seen far too many winter accidents involving people driving recklessly in all-wheel drive and 4x4 vehicles. If you end up driving a larger vehicle, a truck or an SUV, please remember that you are much heavier than a typical car. You are piloting a much deadlier weapon than they are. Drive conservatively.
You're allowed to question authority. If an authority does/says something you think is wrong, you're allowed to question that.
Don't put off dealing with mental health issues. Developing unhealthy coping mechanisms for emotional issues will [screw] you up big time down the road. If you have issues, deal with it head on, right away. It can take time, but start the work now.
Easier said than done. Usually, if you have a mental health issue ... you don't know you have a mental health issue.
When you make a mistake, own up to it. People are more willing to help you when you admit you did a dumb thing. This goes for school, work, and personal life. Forget to make a payment on a loan? Call and talk to the finance company. Mess something up on a school project? Tell your teacher and ask for a bit of leeway. Etc. People will be more likely to help you if you communicate.
Start your retirement fund as early as possible. Doesn’t matter if you can only afford $5 a week, it’s still $5 more than you would have had otherwise. It WILL add up and you’ll thank yourself later.
As someone who works in a financial institution now, yes! If you think you can't make a payment on time, call us! It's ok, a lot of times we'll see if we can help out. If you call and they're rude, take your business elsewhere. Credit Unions are far more friendlier than banks.
While you shoudn't believe those who say these gonna be the best years of your life, try to make the most of it, to enjoy the ride. Don't be ashamed of your hobbies and passions ; those who make fun of that can go f**k themselves. Every feeling you have deserves to be expressed in any constructive manner. Don't fear rejection from those you like/love. Tell them and come what may.
The best years of your life are anywhere between your birth and your death.
The things your parents are trying to keep you from doing are more than likely the mistakes of their youth that they wish they could do differently.
Unless, of course, your parents are anti-vaxxers, fundamentalist christians, conspiracy theorists, Trumpies, ...
After high school, life gets a whole lot better.
Soooo true. High school stops being important almost immediately after you graduate.
Don’t compare your life to influencers, or anyone else for that matter. Even with the “#nofilter,” it’s normally a façade. Live your life for you, not for the likes.
Learn a second language. It's good for your brain, and it's a lot easier when you're young.
Get active and fit; make it a habit. This is one of the most important ways to stave off cognitive decline as you get older. Plus, it's great for managing mental health during the transition to adulthood.
YES!!!!!! As an adult I have been trying to learn Spanish for the past 30 years ... it's much easier when you're exposed to a new language in childhood. Parents ... take note ... encourage your children to take a foreign language in school.
Avoid debt if possible.
This is easier said than done especially when college cost 50k+. You start adulthood with a huge amount of debt and not everyone can work and go to school at the same time. If you can, get a government job and apply for PSLF. You'll find government jobs are easier to break into than private sector and most have good benefits too. Plus, after working there for a while, it's easier to get into private sector. Find jobs at USAJOBS.gov. also look at your local government jobs.
It's exactly as lame to not do something you want to do because it's too mainstream or popular as it is to do something only because it's cool and the cool kids are doing it
What's popular isn't always right and what's right isn't always popular.
Advice is free, and if you respond to it with "I know" then you're probably not gonna figure your problem out.
Advice is free, but it's best received when asked for and not volunteered.
The measure of whether someone has the potential to be a new friend of yours is NOT whether they like a bunch of things you like. It is entirely possible to become friends with people who like a ton of things you’ve never heard of, or even already decided you dislike. You are at a spot in life where a lot of your likes and dislikes are subject to change anyway.
Biggest thing: making a new friend often takes time. Lots of time. Much longer than movies and shows make it look like. Find things to do, groups to join, city league sports to play (pandemic permitting, or after) and keep learning about the people you see repeatedly. Far too many early twenties people who report having no friends made a premature judgment that one or more prospective friends were off the list, when it just needed a lot more time.
Also, don't become so busy with your family that you neglect your friends so much that when you raise your head at the other end you suddenly find they've gone.
The first step to being good at something is being bad at something.
Too many people expect perfection on 1st try. This comes back to the lesson failure is ok.
How to deescalate difficult situations.
And how to disagree with a teacher/someone in authority without sounding like a know-it-all or in a condescending manner. For example, if a teacher says X and you are certain you learned differently, recognize that there may be certain circumstances that you may not realize that changes something. Lead the disagreement with a saying like: excuse me, I may be wrong, but I thought/learned Y. This kind of phrasing does not cause the other person to be on the defensive, which can allow gentle new instruction for you, or a graceful/face saving correction for the teacher.
A situation with differing opinions doesn't have to be confrontational.
This should be higher. It's cliché but true: "It's often not what you're saying that's the problem, it's how you're saying it"
If you don’t brush your teeth: big regrets. Don’t talk too much about yourself and your private life and ideas: it will be used against you. Emotionally you are going to feel better and survive the struggles you are into. Don’t breed anger, it will consume your time and energies. Time flies: I’m 38 years old, it seems yesterday I was in my twenties... enjoy the ride, take care of your body, don’t listen too much to the wired stuff coming from your mind.
Yup. Brush and floss. It sucks when your 36 and eating anything sweet hurts because the sugars in the candy stings your gums.
Resentment is like swallowing poison and hoping the other person dies.
And, don’t waste time trying to love someone who doesn’t love you back.
And, just because you spent years on something(a job, a relationship, a place, etc) doesn’t mean you’re stuck there if you’re miserable. If you can, do the hard thing and leave. You’ll be so much happier.
No one owes you a thing. Live your life well by working for what you want. Make good decisions. Not based on fleeting emotions but reason and common sense. Good financial decisions are a must! Know what it costs.
Don't be afraid to separate yourself from so called friends if those friends are not moving forward. Don't allow their defeatist attitude to hold you back.
The person you love at 17 may not be the person you love at 30. You change. They change.
In my case, it is the same person. Same girlfriend/fiancé/wife since 1987. 'I know that I am a lucky man :-)
Hold yourself to your own standards.
If you wouldn't let anyone treat your friends/family like trash, then don't do it yourself.
If you feel learning is a positive thing, then learn on the daily.
If you value work and security, then give yourself security through work.
If you expect others to be intelligent and to care, then you should be intelligent and caring.
Hold yourself accountable for how you want the world to be. Be a part of the world you want to live in.
If you don't want to go to college, learn a trade. Learn several trades throughout your life. You will always be able to find work. Even during a pandemic homeowners still need their plumbing to work. They need their HVAC to operate properly. They will run into electrical issues that need repaired.
Learn a trade even if you do go to college and don't be afraid of doing basic home repairs. You'll be surprised how easy it is to do and how little it cost compared to hiring a plumber that charges $100/HR and triples the price of parts you can buy yourself from Home Depot or Lowe's.
If you have an emotional reaction to everything that’s said to you, you’re going to have a bad time.
There’s always more to it. Right now isn’t the be all and end all. I will also say that by no means as a teen should your feelings be downplayed and this is not suggesting that your current issues are minimal. It’s important to recognise how you’re feeling but also don’t let it consume or dictate how you look towards your future. There is always going to be a better time.
You aren’t nearly as smart or worldly as you think you are. Every teenager, without fail, thinks they know it all or have seen or done a lot. I know this because I used to be one. I’m 29 now and let me tell you the wealth of knowledge I have compared to a year ago alone is staggering. Compared to when I was 19 or 16? Doesn’t even f***ing compare.
My advice around this is to just stay humble. You aren’t done learning and you really ain’t seen nothing yet. Don’t ever think you know it all or you’ve seen and done it all, because you haven’t even scratched the absolute edge of the surface of what you don’t know.
And for the love of punch drunk f**k, don’t learn about sex from porn.
The world is not gonna be easy or kind. Everything you think you know and even some of your closest beliefs will be challenged and you will run into people who will disagree with you or who don't like you. Therefore, have a good foundation, be it a faith, be it family, be it a good group of friends, or a combination of the above and other good sources I haven't thought to list.
I graduated 10 years ago from high school and none of those people are in my life now. So take your time being you and grow your self esteem and talents now over wasting time trying to impress those pricks you won't even remember in a few months after graduation.
Edit: It seems like there is some confusion as to my advice. I am not saying drop your friends. Those are a very important aspect of life (especially in high school). What I am saying is drop the politics and drama of your school. I know it feels like it is the whole world now, but if you let those who try to bring you down, who mock you, who try and pressure you will not be around forever. Worry about building yourself to being the best you that you can become. I still have contact with a few childhood friends to this day (just not really any I made in high school). But all those negative, drama craving, bullies, and those down beats in general will not follow you.
Understand how much more you will understand in the future and don’t be ashamed to admit that you may not understand things.
Adulthood is both an age and a mindset. Though you are legally responsible for yourself at 18, most people don’t really get it until about 5+ years later. That said, some adults never mentally leave high school. Gossip still happens, bragging still happens, self-righteousness still happens. Some people grow up, some don’t.
You can’t be friends with everyone, but you can be polite to them. And if someone’s being rude to you, it might not even be because of you—you don’t have to light a fire you didn’t build. Specifically, if they’re calling you names or spreading rumors about you, embrace it because taking offense and escalating to a physical confrontation just makes everyone’s lives harder, including people not even involved.
Being confident about who you are will change your life.
If you're feeling bad about something (like hs drama), remember: EVERYTHING that's going on now will be irrelevant within 5 years.
Your parents/gaurdians coping mechanisms and communication skills may be flawed. Try to recognize different ways people communicate and cope with hardship and what does and doesn't work so that you can change your own skills early.
Life moves very quickly after leaving school - years go by so quickly
A lot of people have been saying this scares them. Please don't be scared, adult life is great but you just have to keep yourself active and doing different things. Just make sure to appreciate everything you have and try not to have regrets.
Honestly, your teens are the perfect time to begin small on creating good habits that pay off big in the long run.
Save and/or invest 10% of any money you receive.
Create a habit of exercising (even just small exercises) every day.
Someone else said it, but it is worth repeating: brush your teeth.
Figure out what you enjoy. Read & try a lot of different things. Go to camps, or shadow any jobs you think you might be interested in. Sometimes the job you think you’d enjoy, you find out you have no interest in at all. This will save you a lot of money (like studying pre-med and learning you hate healthcare).
This is a difficult one as a teen, but try to establish a decent sleeping habit. Preferably one we’re you wake up early. I feel like I slept my teen years away.
It's been proven that teens actually do need more sleep than adults, so let them sleep. We can all develop good sleeping habits as adults but I'm here to say that they can go straight out the window if you hurt.
Take a personal finance class
Twitter (or any social media) is a loaded gun. It's there forever, even if you delete it.
There are people in bad situations. This is sad. But: not all of them want to be saved from it.
We (your parents) are harsh because we want you to make better choices than we did. The wisest of us, though, will let you make mistakes and fail to a smaller degree. Cuz we know you don't listen. :)
Take up an instrument. As a teenager you have far more time on your hands than you ever will again, plus your brain is still plastic enough to learn things easily and quickly (relative to a fully-formed brain, you still need to put the hours in). Being able to play music is such a joy that you will carry with you your whole life. And you can often form relationships off the back of it (jamming sessions, for eg, or just bonding over your love of guitars).
Unless you're not interested in music. Taking up a hobby because someone told you to do it even though you don't care for it at all is no good. It's true that joy can be found in playing music and relationships can be formed with it, but that applies to every hobby. I know that because I made that mistake - taking up a hobby because somebody told me to do it, even though I wasn't interested in the slightest and had several other hobbies I would have preferred. It's no good.
It's better to be quiet and let people think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Yes and no. It's very sad to not have the confidence to share ideas and opinions - people should be more receptive and less mocking.
Do not be afraid to ask out that girl/guy that you like. If you suffer from anxiety like myself, then at least try to work on it. I personally went through all my teenage years without even trying to talk to girls much at all and now that I'm 19 and have the chance to look back, I 100% regret it.
lmao i already know she doesn't like me back though besides her fam is homophobic.
Be kind to others, they may be having a shitty day - don't make it harder for them. But that doesn't mean that you should let them walk all over you - stand your ground.
Being positive about life is really important, but it's a habit that you have to work at.
Don't be too dogmatic, rejecting others who don't agree with your ideologies. There's a really good chance that you're wrong.
My brother in law needs to read these - he mistakes his opinions for facts and hates it when other people have opinions. Particularly women! Yikes, does that man hate women having an opinion. If only he wasn't married to my sister (he's just like our father as well!).
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When the bad times outnumber the good times, it is time to move on. This applies to jobs, relationships, friends, etc. When you feel like it is a chore to spend time with a person or going to work makes you feel physically ill, then you need to move on.
If you feel overwhelmed... tell someone. Even if it's the person who is pushing you to do all-that-stuff-right-now. Sometimes, that someone will be cool about it. And if they're not, you can walk away knowing you aren't the a-hole.
If only my own teenager (and pre-teen) listened instead of automatically disagreeing or being on the defensive. They refuse to see that their dad and I say things because we love them and want the best for them. None of them believe it, but every teen, regardless of generation, goes through roughly the same situations (even during the Middle Ages I'm sure, during which my kids think we grew up in). They will realize it too late, when they turn into adulthood and/or parenthood. And the cycle will continue.
Sometimes, when they auto-disagree, you have to stop telling them. It's very hard to do admittedly but they are at an age where they do think they know everything and the best way they'll learn is if they work it out for themselves. Keep telling them will just get their backs up and force them into an oppositional stance. This doesn't apply to everything - the illegal and the dangerous obviously aren't what I'm talking about here - but overparenting is a pit we all fall into at times.
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Assume that everything other people do makes sense to them. This includes things that seem criminally stupid or aggressively ignorant. Most of the time those reasons have nothing to do with you personally, so don't attribute malice immediately, assume ignorance first and cut people some slack.
It has become popular to be contrarian, disagreeing or having an argument or strong opinion about literally anything that is said. You won't impress people or befriend them by constantly disagreeing with them or only liking things that no one has heard of while rejecting things that most people enjoy.
Learn to live on your own; even if it's just for a year or a few months. This way you KNOW you can do it. Learn to balance a checkbook and how to do your taxes. Keep and stay on budget-know where your money is going. ALWAYS have a savings and if possible save enough to cover you for 18 months. Don't buy a car you can't afford. Remember, the high cost of a car will result in higher maintenance and insurance.
Listen to understand. Think. Take your time. Make sure to eat well, enjoy the sun, laugh, move and relax on a daily basis. Surround yourself with people in whose present you like yourself, and allow yourself to be alone when you need to. Get enough sleep and always hydrate well. Brush and floss. Stimulate your brain and your heart, read, journal, reflect. Allow yourself to feel intensely, be it happy or sad, but monitor your thoughts. Treat yourself like you treat your friends - you wouldn't criticise them for all the small things you hold against yourself, would you?
Be kind to others, they may be having a shitty day - don't make it harder for them. But that doesn't mean that you should let them walk all over you - stand your ground.
Being positive about life is really important, but it's a habit that you have to work at.
Don't be too dogmatic, rejecting others who don't agree with your ideologies. There's a really good chance that you're wrong.
My brother in law needs to read these - he mistakes his opinions for facts and hates it when other people have opinions. Particularly women! Yikes, does that man hate women having an opinion. If only he wasn't married to my sister (he's just like our father as well!).
Load More Replies... When the bad times outnumber the good times, it is time to move on. This applies to jobs, relationships, friends, etc. When you feel like it is a chore to spend time with a person or going to work makes you feel physically ill, then you need to move on.
If you feel overwhelmed... tell someone. Even if it's the person who is pushing you to do all-that-stuff-right-now. Sometimes, that someone will be cool about it. And if they're not, you can walk away knowing you aren't the a-hole.
If only my own teenager (and pre-teen) listened instead of automatically disagreeing or being on the defensive. They refuse to see that their dad and I say things because we love them and want the best for them. None of them believe it, but every teen, regardless of generation, goes through roughly the same situations (even during the Middle Ages I'm sure, during which my kids think we grew up in). They will realize it too late, when they turn into adulthood and/or parenthood. And the cycle will continue.
Sometimes, when they auto-disagree, you have to stop telling them. It's very hard to do admittedly but they are at an age where they do think they know everything and the best way they'll learn is if they work it out for themselves. Keep telling them will just get their backs up and force them into an oppositional stance. This doesn't apply to everything - the illegal and the dangerous obviously aren't what I'm talking about here - but overparenting is a pit we all fall into at times.
Load More Replies... Assume that everything other people do makes sense to them. This includes things that seem criminally stupid or aggressively ignorant. Most of the time those reasons have nothing to do with you personally, so don't attribute malice immediately, assume ignorance first and cut people some slack.
It has become popular to be contrarian, disagreeing or having an argument or strong opinion about literally anything that is said. You won't impress people or befriend them by constantly disagreeing with them or only liking things that no one has heard of while rejecting things that most people enjoy.
Learn to live on your own; even if it's just for a year or a few months. This way you KNOW you can do it. Learn to balance a checkbook and how to do your taxes. Keep and stay on budget-know where your money is going. ALWAYS have a savings and if possible save enough to cover you for 18 months. Don't buy a car you can't afford. Remember, the high cost of a car will result in higher maintenance and insurance.
Listen to understand. Think. Take your time. Make sure to eat well, enjoy the sun, laugh, move and relax on a daily basis. Surround yourself with people in whose present you like yourself, and allow yourself to be alone when you need to. Get enough sleep and always hydrate well. Brush and floss. Stimulate your brain and your heart, read, journal, reflect. Allow yourself to feel intensely, be it happy or sad, but monitor your thoughts. Treat yourself like you treat your friends - you wouldn't criticise them for all the small things you hold against yourself, would you?
