Teen Daughter Told To Make A Choice Between International Summer Program And Her $11/Hr 10 Hours Per Week Retail Job
Ironic to think that we as a species make choices all the time, yet some choices are so hard that it stresses us out to no end. But some choices only seem that way—we simply need some support.
Take this mother, for instance, who recently shared a short story—more like an incident—where her teen daughter’s manager effectively gave an ultimatum, forcing her to make a choice between an academic program that will last a month and her retail job.
More Info: Reddit
While it can sometimes be hard to make choices, remember that “no job is ever worth giving up a life-changing experience”
Image credits: Carlos Ebert (not the actual photo)
So, a Redditor and mother nicknamed u/Diana_FooFoo recently went to the Anti-Work Reddit community to share something that happened to her 16-year-old daughter.
Specifically, she submitted her request to get a month off from work, but the manager had to sit her down and talk about the whole deal. The main question was why she was taking a month off, and the answer to that was that she’d like to go to an international academic thing.
This mother recently went to r/AntiWork on Reddit to share a choice her 16-year-old daughter had to make
Image credits: Diana_FooFoo
The manager explained that they won’t be able to guarantee her work hours after she comes back, which, by the way, is 10 hours a week at a retail job that pays $11 an hour. And then the manager proceeded to give her a day to think about it.
Now, the mom did explain that most bosses feel intimidating, especially if you’re younger, but her immediate response was laughter and she called the ultimatum absurd, which seemed to help the teen relax.
OP even needed to give several tiny updates on what she meant
Image credits: Diana_FooFoo
And she turned this display of support into a life lesson, explaining that no job is ever worth more than an opportunity to better oneself, and in the post she said that she’s happy the daughter went through this now as she’ll be more ready with an answer the next time this might happen.
She also stressed the importance of having an “FU” fund, which is effectively money saved in case a job doesn’t work out and you have to leave with middle fingers blazing.
Well, this seemed like it was the end of that, but then Reddit happened and the post went viral. Folks from the subreddit gathered to express their support with advice and by explaining how wrong the manager was for throwing an ultimatum just like that, especially given the whole retail job context.
The internet was all in support of the kid making it in the world, bashing the manager along the way
Image credits: Kristina D.C. Hoeppner (not the actual photo)
This prompted a couple of updates from OP, namely explaining the concept of the “FU” fund as some misunderstood it, and also elaborating that she isn’t upset with the whole work hours not guaranteed thing. What actually upset her was the fact that the manager had to go the ultimatum route. And when you work retail, it just makes it even more ridiculous.
The post ended up garnering over 48,700 upvotes with a good handful of Reddit awards. Be sure to check out the whole thing in context on Reddit, and you can also peep out all of the other Anti-Work stories we’ve covered here.
But don’t go just yet as we want to hear your thoughts on the matter, and if not that, share your words of support for hard-working teens in the comment section below!
Saw something similar happen when I worked fast food back in high school. A closer called in sick, the manager asked another employee to stay and cover the shift. She said she couldn't, she had to study for a test the next day. The manager actually asked this 16 YO high school student what was more important, the job or her education. After picking her jaw off the floor, she punched out and quit.
Seriously?? The manager actually thought that it would be tempting to be a high school drop-out working part-time in fast food??
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One of my very first jobs as a 17 year old was as a filing clerk in an office. One day I had to leave because my mother (who worked nearby) was really sick and I had to drive her home. My supervisor told me that I couldn't leave, I told her I was definitely leaving to take my mother home. She actually told me that I had to make a decision on what was more important - my job or my family. I drafted my resignation that night and handed it in the next day.
This is a no brainer ...of cause she should go...opportunities like this don´t grow on trees..
So happy to hear generations now have the choice to go FU to unreasonable demands and requests. My time there was no p/t jobs as there was no fast foods. Trying to make money when poor and a teen was hard. Then when I grew up limited jobs so we had to eat s**t and say we liked it. Had to endure sexual harassment and verbal abuse. So y"all go raise he'll for us
I was just thinking, the other day, about something like this that happened to me when I was 16. I had major exam coming up. I had dreams to go to university (I did go!) And I took a full day off advanced courses, no study hall or breaks, as well as music courses, on top of my job, caring for my little sister, and household responsibilities. My parents were slave drivers. Anyway - I took off three consecutive Sundays. Just Sundays. I still worked 15 hours each week. The co-manager says to me, the next time I went in, "You can't ever do that again. School is not more important than your job." I was absolutely flabbergasted. I laughed at him. I told him I would absolutely quit my job. My education comes first. He was actually shocked. To this day, I can't believe he thought that was an actual threat.
I was at an auto parts store the other day and as I walked in there was a customer and what I assume was the store manager finishing up a conversation about how nobody wants to work and how the kids these days just want to mess around and not take their job seriously, blah blah blah. This is what I imagined this manager was saying after this conversation.
I went to Ireland on study abroad a few years ago. My retail workplace had a program for educational leaves of absence. I didn't get paid on my leave, but my job was guaranteed when I got back. My HR was very happy to help me take this opportunity (for which I also got a grant from an international organization) and broaden my horizons as well as work toward completing an academic certificate to go along with my BS in biomedical.
Unless you are starving and on the verge of homelessness, NO JOB is important enough to sway on a choice. ALL companies are ONLY self-important and self-entitled. They will ALL dump you in a heartbeat if it benefits them. Never EVER let any employer or manager try to intimidate you. NEVER EVER be loyal to ANY company because they will NEVER be loyal to you. You are just a tool, nothing more.
This should have been a very short post: Her boss told to chose between a $11/10 hour per week job and an international summer program. She laughed until her sides hurt, then boarded the plane. The end.
This is called someone with a power trip. He really wasn’t thinking of her future at all. I’m absolutely certain that job will be there or one like it when she returns. If I were her I would find another job. This is the time in her life to work several places and see how people are. This at this time is not her future. She is not stuck at this one place forever. Go on your amazing trip sweetie and enjoy it. This job is not your career so it’s nothing to worry about. Good job mom. I always tell my family, if you have money you have options. It’s a hard lesson to learn in life and some people never learn it.
Also understand why manager cannot guarantee hours on her return if has to hire someone else to backfill for her. But don't see a decision here..go for the trip.
This us almost laughable but I understand how it might upset a 16 yr old girl. My advise...chase your dreams and forget the job. Jobs and managers like that are a dime a dozen! Enjoy this opportunity!
Almost all retailers are short staffed these days. When she gets back from her trip, she should have no problem finding another job.
Both of these things seem reasonable. An employer shouldn’t be expected to keep a job open for someone to take a month off (I’m presuming unpaid as I doubt the daughter got that much PTO on a part time job) but also quitting and going was obviously the right choice. Everything in this story seemed completely to be expected.
The way it is now, she'll have lots of jobs to choose from when she gets back. (not saying they'll all be GOOD jobs, however...)
I was an adult working at a state job, where they refused to train and my supervisor locked herself in her office and wouldn't answer the phone. i told them that I was in college two nights a week from 6-10 and their idea of training was you travel all over the state for 8 hours of training that had nothing to do with your job. I reminded them that they had agreed to me being free to attend my classes and they got snippy and asked me what was more important. I said between a 10 dollar and hour job or my college, which you aren't paying for? I said well I guess you can find someone else to fill this s**t job, bye.
I work with cancer patients, an employer told one of my patient's he couldn't give her the week off for her radiation. Only earner in the home as her husband had been let go due to Covid. Told her that they would replace her if she left but her family can't replace her. She went ahead with the treatment and FYI employers cannot let you go due to medical issues against labor laws in Canada.
I can't believe this is a question. Definitely NTA and anyone who says different is an idiot Your daughter has the rest of her life to work so go tell the FU.Then help your daughter pack so she can go have hopefully the best experience of her young life.But please make sure you lecture until you are blue in the face about her being as safe as she can.
Last year my 28 y/o daughter & I went on a 2 week international trip. Her then boss had NP with her off w/out pay trip. But one of her coworkers said, "Wish I could afford a vacation." (insert MASSIVE snark). Coworker makes everyone miserable, but has made herself irreplaceable. When daughter returned, boss drastically cut her hours & coworker embarked on verbal/mental abuse campaign. Put my daughter through hell. But daughter had FU money PLENTY so, after multiple complaints to boss, he finally said, "If you don't like it, you can walk." Whereupon, she DID - right out the door (with the reference letter he'd signed 2 hours earlier in hand!). Daughter moved cities & into a job paying lots more $$. She's happily doing tons more work with autonomy, everyone is SO glad she's there, appreciate her hard work ethic and improvements she's made without anyone asking/telling her to make. If you're unhappy in a job, there are, currently, plenty of alternatives!
I was waitressing at a family run Italian restaurant, working my last week before leaving to join Peace Corps. The schedule had originally been made so that I would have the last night off before my grandparents left for home but someone changed it at the last minute. They told me I could see my grandparents any other time. Nope, I walked out. 80 year old grandparents? Who knew if they would be alive 2 years later.
I wanted to go to Europe for 2 months with college girlfriends. My mother asked if I wouldnt go to Las Vags with her instead. A no brainer there
Anyone who think the boss is the AH in this situation has never been a manager and certainly not a manager of young people who's parents tell them they don't have to work. Regardless of the pay or the hours, her not working them means someone else has to. Are we to believe an international month long event was spur of the moment? The responsible thing to have taught her daughter was how to properly leave a job. That lesson is just as important as this other opportunity. Teaching her that she can just quit whatever doesn't work for her without notice, or expecting her employer to hold her job indefinitely? I hope mom has plenty of FO money to support that soon to be adult daughter.
This sounds normal. It's not an ultimatum. It's completely normal to warn your worker that hey I can't guarantee that you'll have hours after this trip. A lot of service Jobs are like that.
I guess it really depends on how it was said which is difficult to judge via text. I figure it could go either way. But I'm not going to think too hard about it as stories like this are a penny/dozen dozen.
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The student's family obviously has plenty of $ they like to spend on their teen, the parent wants them to quit a job to go on an international trip that likely costs thousands, and also the parent mentions "FU $" which implies additional savings of thousands just sitting there for the student to use if not working. This student shouldn't be working at all, they should free up that position for a person who actually needs the $.
The FU money was the student's money. Not the family. I'm sure she has it because she worked crap jobs like that and saved it up instead of spending it. The parents taught her to have FU money for this reason. She wouldn't have FU money if she quit as soon as she had a stable bank account. I hope you don't teach your kids to quit a job as soon as they get some money in the bank. Also if the parents were rich they were teaching their daughter great lessons of having a job and earning her own money rather than being a spoiled brat living off her parents. Why the hell would you tell a kid to quit their job because their parents had money?? Talk about raising a useless dependant drain on society.
Load More Replies... Saw something similar happen when I worked fast food back in high school. A closer called in sick, the manager asked another employee to stay and cover the shift. She said she couldn't, she had to study for a test the next day. The manager actually asked this 16 YO high school student what was more important, the job or her education. After picking her jaw off the floor, she punched out and quit.
Seriously?? The manager actually thought that it would be tempting to be a high school drop-out working part-time in fast food??
Load More Replies... One of my very first jobs as a 17 year old was as a filing clerk in an office. One day I had to leave because my mother (who worked nearby) was really sick and I had to drive her home. My supervisor told me that I couldn't leave, I told her I was definitely leaving to take my mother home. She actually told me that I had to make a decision on what was more important - my job or my family. I drafted my resignation that night and handed it in the next day.
This is a no brainer ...of cause she should go...opportunities like this don´t grow on trees..
So happy to hear generations now have the choice to go FU to unreasonable demands and requests. My time there was no p/t jobs as there was no fast foods. Trying to make money when poor and a teen was hard. Then when I grew up limited jobs so we had to eat s**t and say we liked it. Had to endure sexual harassment and verbal abuse. So y"all go raise he'll for us
I was just thinking, the other day, about something like this that happened to me when I was 16. I had major exam coming up. I had dreams to go to university (I did go!) And I took a full day off advanced courses, no study hall or breaks, as well as music courses, on top of my job, caring for my little sister, and household responsibilities. My parents were slave drivers. Anyway - I took off three consecutive Sundays. Just Sundays. I still worked 15 hours each week. The co-manager says to me, the next time I went in, "You can't ever do that again. School is not more important than your job." I was absolutely flabbergasted. I laughed at him. I told him I would absolutely quit my job. My education comes first. He was actually shocked. To this day, I can't believe he thought that was an actual threat.
I was at an auto parts store the other day and as I walked in there was a customer and what I assume was the store manager finishing up a conversation about how nobody wants to work and how the kids these days just want to mess around and not take their job seriously, blah blah blah. This is what I imagined this manager was saying after this conversation.
I went to Ireland on study abroad a few years ago. My retail workplace had a program for educational leaves of absence. I didn't get paid on my leave, but my job was guaranteed when I got back. My HR was very happy to help me take this opportunity (for which I also got a grant from an international organization) and broaden my horizons as well as work toward completing an academic certificate to go along with my BS in biomedical.
Unless you are starving and on the verge of homelessness, NO JOB is important enough to sway on a choice. ALL companies are ONLY self-important and self-entitled. They will ALL dump you in a heartbeat if it benefits them. Never EVER let any employer or manager try to intimidate you. NEVER EVER be loyal to ANY company because they will NEVER be loyal to you. You are just a tool, nothing more.
This should have been a very short post: Her boss told to chose between a $11/10 hour per week job and an international summer program. She laughed until her sides hurt, then boarded the plane. The end.
This is called someone with a power trip. He really wasn’t thinking of her future at all. I’m absolutely certain that job will be there or one like it when she returns. If I were her I would find another job. This is the time in her life to work several places and see how people are. This at this time is not her future. She is not stuck at this one place forever. Go on your amazing trip sweetie and enjoy it. This job is not your career so it’s nothing to worry about. Good job mom. I always tell my family, if you have money you have options. It’s a hard lesson to learn in life and some people never learn it.
Also understand why manager cannot guarantee hours on her return if has to hire someone else to backfill for her. But don't see a decision here..go for the trip.
This us almost laughable but I understand how it might upset a 16 yr old girl. My advise...chase your dreams and forget the job. Jobs and managers like that are a dime a dozen! Enjoy this opportunity!
Almost all retailers are short staffed these days. When she gets back from her trip, she should have no problem finding another job.
Both of these things seem reasonable. An employer shouldn’t be expected to keep a job open for someone to take a month off (I’m presuming unpaid as I doubt the daughter got that much PTO on a part time job) but also quitting and going was obviously the right choice. Everything in this story seemed completely to be expected.
The way it is now, she'll have lots of jobs to choose from when she gets back. (not saying they'll all be GOOD jobs, however...)
I was an adult working at a state job, where they refused to train and my supervisor locked herself in her office and wouldn't answer the phone. i told them that I was in college two nights a week from 6-10 and their idea of training was you travel all over the state for 8 hours of training that had nothing to do with your job. I reminded them that they had agreed to me being free to attend my classes and they got snippy and asked me what was more important. I said between a 10 dollar and hour job or my college, which you aren't paying for? I said well I guess you can find someone else to fill this s**t job, bye.
I work with cancer patients, an employer told one of my patient's he couldn't give her the week off for her radiation. Only earner in the home as her husband had been let go due to Covid. Told her that they would replace her if she left but her family can't replace her. She went ahead with the treatment and FYI employers cannot let you go due to medical issues against labor laws in Canada.
I can't believe this is a question. Definitely NTA and anyone who says different is an idiot Your daughter has the rest of her life to work so go tell the FU.Then help your daughter pack so she can go have hopefully the best experience of her young life.But please make sure you lecture until you are blue in the face about her being as safe as she can.
Last year my 28 y/o daughter & I went on a 2 week international trip. Her then boss had NP with her off w/out pay trip. But one of her coworkers said, "Wish I could afford a vacation." (insert MASSIVE snark). Coworker makes everyone miserable, but has made herself irreplaceable. When daughter returned, boss drastically cut her hours & coworker embarked on verbal/mental abuse campaign. Put my daughter through hell. But daughter had FU money PLENTY so, after multiple complaints to boss, he finally said, "If you don't like it, you can walk." Whereupon, she DID - right out the door (with the reference letter he'd signed 2 hours earlier in hand!). Daughter moved cities & into a job paying lots more $$. She's happily doing tons more work with autonomy, everyone is SO glad she's there, appreciate her hard work ethic and improvements she's made without anyone asking/telling her to make. If you're unhappy in a job, there are, currently, plenty of alternatives!
I was waitressing at a family run Italian restaurant, working my last week before leaving to join Peace Corps. The schedule had originally been made so that I would have the last night off before my grandparents left for home but someone changed it at the last minute. They told me I could see my grandparents any other time. Nope, I walked out. 80 year old grandparents? Who knew if they would be alive 2 years later.
I wanted to go to Europe for 2 months with college girlfriends. My mother asked if I wouldnt go to Las Vags with her instead. A no brainer there
Anyone who think the boss is the AH in this situation has never been a manager and certainly not a manager of young people who's parents tell them they don't have to work. Regardless of the pay or the hours, her not working them means someone else has to. Are we to believe an international month long event was spur of the moment? The responsible thing to have taught her daughter was how to properly leave a job. That lesson is just as important as this other opportunity. Teaching her that she can just quit whatever doesn't work for her without notice, or expecting her employer to hold her job indefinitely? I hope mom has plenty of FO money to support that soon to be adult daughter.
This sounds normal. It's not an ultimatum. It's completely normal to warn your worker that hey I can't guarantee that you'll have hours after this trip. A lot of service Jobs are like that.
I guess it really depends on how it was said which is difficult to judge via text. I figure it could go either way. But I'm not going to think too hard about it as stories like this are a penny/dozen dozen.
Load More Replies... The student's family obviously has plenty of $ they like to spend on their teen, the parent wants them to quit a job to go on an international trip that likely costs thousands, and also the parent mentions "FU $" which implies additional savings of thousands just sitting there for the student to use if not working. This student shouldn't be working at all, they should free up that position for a person who actually needs the $.
The FU money was the student's money. Not the family. I'm sure she has it because she worked crap jobs like that and saved it up instead of spending it. The parents taught her to have FU money for this reason. She wouldn't have FU money if she quit as soon as she had a stable bank account. I hope you don't teach your kids to quit a job as soon as they get some money in the bank. Also if the parents were rich they were teaching their daughter great lessons of having a job and earning her own money rather than being a spoiled brat living off her parents. Why the hell would you tell a kid to quit their job because their parents had money?? Talk about raising a useless dependant drain on society.
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